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00:06I'm 30 today.
00:08My mum got me up really early this morning to give me my present.
00:14Yeah, this is it, actually.
00:16It's nice.
00:17I'm into, you know, I like ballet.
00:18I love the novels of Proust.
00:20I love the work of Alan Delon.
00:23And that's, I think, what influenced her buying me Hat FM.
00:28I like the radio too.
00:30No, it's all right.
00:30It's all right.
00:31I think it's quite a sweet present.
00:32It's all right.
00:35I'll make sure Finchie gets here on time for the quiz tonight.
00:39Seven o'clock on the dot.
00:40Six, six years in a row, winners.
00:43So, you know what?
00:45Finchie.
00:46Brent, all right?
00:48Don't forget tonight.
00:49Oh, here he goes.
00:50Straight away.
00:50Go on, go on.
00:53What's black and slides down Nelson's column?
00:55Don't know.
00:56Winnie Mandela?
00:57Oh, yeah.
00:58That's good.
00:59No, it's not.
01:00Yeah, it's not racist.
01:01I thought you were the column because he's, yeah, and she is black and she's probably
01:04actually married.
01:04It's not even low.
01:05Yeah, seven.
01:06See ya.
01:06Bye.
01:09What's she doing in so early?
01:10Is she at the bed?
01:12No.
01:13I haven't done that for weeks.
01:15No, my mum got me up at quarter to seven to give me a birthday present.
01:18Oh, happy birthday.
01:20What's she get you?
01:23Something you can wear?
01:27A hat?
01:28A hat, yes.
01:28Well, yeah.
01:31Good morning.
01:35Bye-bye.
01:37Bye-bye.
01:46Hiya.
01:47All right?
01:48Thank you very much.
01:49Thanks, son.
01:50Tup.
01:52Hoorayya.
01:53My hat.
01:54Thanks.
01:55Um, good.
01:57That's all in order.
02:00What's the difference between your wages and your penis?
02:02I can find you lots of women who will blow your wages.
02:05What's that?
02:05I don't know.
02:07Why has that happened?
02:08Yeah.
02:11Lock up your daughters.
02:12That's what I was going to say.
02:14Finch is on his way for the quiz.
02:15Oh, yeah.
02:16Chris Finch.
02:17And then, Gareth.
02:18Yeah.
02:19Did you?
02:19Oh.
02:20Keep that running.
02:21I mean, you'll be able to use about 20% of it when you get me and him together.
02:24Gareth, innit?
02:27Hat.
02:29It's, um, Tim's birthday.
02:31Oh, yeah.
02:32To be honest, I think you're mad to let me and Finchie on the bleeding telly.
02:36We're like Morecambe and Wise when we get together.
02:39Actually, not Morecambe and Wise.
02:40Because there's no straight man, so there's no dead wood.
02:43So, uh, I'm more sort of character-based.
02:48And he's more of a gag man.
02:49I do gags as well.
02:50But, I mean, good together, you know, by now.
02:53We sort of read each other's minds.
02:54We'll be doing a bit of stick.
02:56We'll just start cracking up.
02:58And people are watching and go, why is that funny?
03:00And we're telling him why.
03:00And they go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:02You are the best.
03:03It's their opinion.
03:05Happy birthday, by the way.
03:06Which one is it?
03:07It's 30.
03:08It's a big 3-0.
03:09That's the worst one, isn't it?
03:11I know what you're thinking.
03:12My youth's over.
03:13I remember when I was 30, like you, I was going, oh, I'm in a rubbish job.
03:18My life's rubbish.
03:18Nothing good ever happens to me.
03:20When will it change?
03:21But, you know, things do change.
03:24So, and it could be worse.
03:26There's a neighbour of mine, Calvin.
03:29He's 32 and he still lives with his parents.
03:32I live with my parents.
03:33Cherish them, really.
03:33Because you will miss them when they're not around.
03:37Both, um, both of mine are dead.
03:40Oh.
03:41So, uh, Dad isn't dead.
03:44He's in a home.
03:46So, as good as.
03:47Shot a bit.
03:48It was, um, oh, God.
03:50Called out the other night, 3 a.m.
03:51By the nurses.
03:52He was convinced there was a Japanese sniper on the roof of Debenhams.
03:56What does that look into his room?
03:58The back of the roof looks directly into his room, yeah.
04:00Good spot.
04:01It's a good spot.
04:02That's where I'd be if I had to take someone out.
04:04To live there.
04:06And I, um, had to go out to the room with him and go,
04:09Look, Dad, there's no Japanese sniper.
04:11So, who, who was it?
04:12Who was up there?
04:13No one was there.
04:14Oh.
04:14There was an imagination.
04:15There was just, there was no one there.
04:16Lucky.
04:17That's lucky.
04:17Because if there was a sniper up there, you wouldn't see him.
04:20He'd be like,
04:21Oh, oh, no one there.
04:30Anyway, he is a vegetable now.
04:33And that's something we've all got to look forward to.
04:35So,
04:37That'll be a birthday.
04:40See you later.
04:45Gotcha.
04:46Tim.
04:48Can you, uh, can you get him open?
04:50Tim.
04:51Got your pezzy.
04:53Oh, thanks a lot.
04:55Happy birthday, mate.
04:55There you go.
04:56Thanks very much, Lee.
04:57You're nice.
04:57Oh, good man.
04:59Oh, this is exciting.
05:00It's fine.
05:02Um,
05:04this is big.
05:06Big and exciting.
05:08We've got an exciting,
05:10huge, inflatable cock.
05:11God.
05:12You can sit on that if you like.
05:13It's not just for me, mate.
05:15That's for Dawn as well.
05:16God, you haven't gone already, have you?
05:18Um, no.
05:19You can never have too many anyway, I think.
05:20And you do prefer it to the money.
05:22Yeah, yeah, I'd have only spent it on a huge, inflatable cock.
05:24Um, that is...
05:26All right, stop playing with him.
05:27You're getting that.
05:29Brilliant.
05:29Oh, God, look at that.
05:32Doink, doink, doink.
05:35Experimentate.
05:37Oh, no, no, no, no.
05:39Lost in powers.
05:40I'm a naked mini-me.
05:42Good, darling.
05:43Um, Thomas, a tank engine rolled into town.
05:45Dick it.
05:47Ringo Starr.
05:48Like, who's lying to it anyway?
05:50Oh.
05:50Uh.
05:51Don't grab it unless you've got my money,
05:53because it slows it down.
05:54Oh, that is brilliant.
05:56Oh.
05:57Oh, happy birthday.
05:58Remember?
05:59You're only as old as a woman you feel.
06:01I say that sometimes.
06:02Yeah, I just said it the other day,
06:03and I thought, oh, you used one of my catchphrases.
06:05I don't mind influencing the young comedian.
06:06You're not a comedian.
06:07But, you know, I usually credit somebody
06:09if I use their comedy.
06:10What one's yours do I use?
06:11Same shit, different day.
06:13It's mine.
06:14Exqueeze me.
06:15It's an excuse me.
06:16Oh, um, wanky very much.
06:18Yeah, I invented that one.
06:19It's about to await you or something.
06:20Wanky very much, doesn't it?
06:23Oh, and here's one, right?
06:25Witnesses, that I started this one, right?
06:27If someone's unlucky, you go,
06:29I'm not saying he's unlucky,
06:29but if he fell in a barrel full of tits,
06:31he'd come up sucking his own thumb.
06:33Bit not, yeah.
06:34Did you say tits?
06:35I thought you suck nobs.
06:36Do ya?
06:37No.
06:39Got it.
06:42They're cracking up.
06:45Oh, God.
06:46Yeah, there are limits to my comedy.
06:48There are things that I will never laugh at.
06:53The handicapped.
06:55Because there's nothing funny about them.
06:58Or any, you know, deformity.
07:01Yeah?
07:03It's like when you see someone look at a
07:05a little handicapped and go,
07:08oh, look at him.
07:09He's not able-bodied.
07:10I am.
07:11I'm prejudiced.
07:12Yeah?
07:13Well, at least the little handicapped fella
07:15is able-minded.
07:18Unless he's not.
07:19But it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.
07:21So, just give generously to all of them.
07:26Guys, don't forget to say happy birthday to Tim.
07:29It's a day.
07:29And also, we'll be going out for drinks later this evening.
07:32What time?
07:32Not tonight.
07:33Why?
07:34Quiz.
07:35Oh, right.
07:36Well, we can go out before.
07:36When's it start?
07:37Seven.
07:38Always.
07:39Okay.
07:39Well, drinks at six, then.
07:40Did you get him a gift?
07:41No.
07:41But it starts at seven.
07:43I know.
07:44Yeah.
07:44Well, okay.
07:45Drinks at six.
07:46Shall I get him a card?
07:47Whatever.
07:47For you, people.
07:48Finch is coming down,
07:49so you've got to be ready to go at seven.
07:50Okay.
07:51Drinks at six.
07:52But starts at seven.
07:54Drinks at six.
08:01Studying.
08:02Quiz.
08:02Yeah.
08:03You're a team again.
08:06Just three of them, is it?
08:08Yeah.
08:09You excited?
08:10First big quiz?
08:11Looking forward to it.
08:12It's not the first, though.
08:14I, uh...
08:14It was on blockbusters.
08:17What?
08:17On the telly?
08:18Yeah.
08:19Yeah?
08:19Uh-huh.
08:20Were you one of the two?
08:22Or by yourself,
08:23there's two of you, it's cheating,
08:24but one of you's found on just one.
08:25Just one.
08:25Well, then.
08:26Do you win anything, or...?
08:27Yeah, two gold runs.
08:28Camping equipment.
08:29Walkman.
08:30I usually get five, to be honest.
08:32Five gold runs.
08:33Yeah.
08:33You know, but you know you have tons of loads of questions before...
08:35I do.
08:36...you get to the...
08:36You get them all.
08:38All right.
08:39Give me one of the ones you had.
08:40All right.
08:40Fingers on the buzzers.
08:42All right.
08:56Um...
08:56Well, yeah, but you said Yazoo first.
08:58You would have got it wrong on blockbusters.
08:59I wouldn't have said it on blockbusters, so...
09:00Well, you would have been all right, then.
09:02I'll give you one, the proper one.
09:08Um...
09:12Do you want a hand?
09:13No, no.
09:16You getting it?
09:17Yeah.
09:18A tiny bit more.
09:20Sorry.
09:20Oh, can I have this?
09:21When you're finished?
09:22Yeah, you can have it.
09:22When will you be finished?
09:23I don't know.
09:24I'm going to be finished.
09:25Maybe we could share it.
09:27Okay, then.
09:28I'll just have it on weekends.
09:29Okay.
09:34Is this going to take...
09:35No, I've got the...
09:35I know that it was going to be What D, and the answer was going to be Dostoyevsky.
09:40All right.
09:40I couldn't think of the question.
09:41All right.
09:41Okay, well, um...
09:43What D was a Russian dissident who wrote the novel Crime and Punishment.
09:46Would you have got that?
09:47I'd have had a guess.
09:49You don't get prizes for guessing.
09:52I'm lucky.
09:53See you later.
10:00You can't come in here.
10:01Quiz officials only.
10:02What are you doing?
10:02I'm the quiz master, aren't you?
10:03I'm doing the questions.
10:04Get out now, or I'll report you.
10:06Simple as that.
10:06Need questions?
10:07Yeah, do not look at those right.
10:09Disqualification.
10:09You're both disqualified.
10:10Um, Gareth, we're having an argument.
10:12We need your help.
10:13Yeah, not interested.
10:14Well, no, listen.
10:15Because you can help.
10:16No, I don't want to help.
10:17I haven't got time to help, all right?
10:18Well, um, it's about the army.
10:19Go on then, quickly.
10:21Um, I was wondering
10:21if a military man like you,
10:25um, you know, a soldier,
10:26Yeah.
10:27could, could you give a man
10:29a lethal blow?
10:31If I was forced to, I could.
10:33If it was absolutely necessary.
10:35If, er, if he was attacking me.
10:36If he was coming, really hard.
10:39Yeah.
10:40If my life was in danger, yeah.
10:41Oh.
10:42And do you always imagine
10:44doing it face-to-face with a bloke,
10:45or could you take a man from behind?
10:48Either way is easy.
10:49Either way.
10:49And so you could do a man from behind?
10:52Yeah.
10:52Yeah.
10:53Lovely.
11:03It's got an error, an offline
11:06error three, two, four, I think.
11:09So I'm going to take the paper out,
11:10and that comes out.
11:12Hiya.
11:13Hiya.
11:14You don't know about these.
11:14I'm trying to fix this.
11:16It's got an offline two, four, three error,
11:18and I just, I don't know,
11:20I don't really know what that is, so.
11:21No, we were talking earlier
11:23about Dostoevsky, weren't we?
11:24Oh, yeah.
11:25Yeah, Theodore Mikhailovich Dostoevsky,
11:28born 1821, died 1881.
11:31Yeah.
11:31Just interesting, that stuff
11:32about him being exiled in Siberia
11:33for four years, wasn't it?
11:34Well, I don't know much about that.
11:37All right.
11:37I didn't cover it, really.
11:38All it is, is he was a member
11:40of a secret political party,
11:42and they put him in a Siberian labour camp
11:44for four years, so, you know.
11:48Hang on.
11:48I read about it in, er...
11:50He wrote House of the Dead,
11:52and I think he put all his memoirs in that.
11:56Didn't he?
11:58Yeah.
12:01Oh.
12:07So, you've dug your foxhole,
12:08and you've pitched your tent.
12:10Right.
12:10They've discovered your camp,
12:13you're lying there,
12:14and they've caught you with your trousers down,
12:16and they've all entered your hole
12:18without you knowing.
12:19No.
12:20Because I'd be ready for it.
12:21Right, so you'd just be lying there
12:22waiting for it.
12:23Oh, yeah.
12:24Well, no.
12:24What's more likely
12:25is that I wouldn't be there
12:26if I knew they knew where I was.
12:28I'd be hiding,
12:29watching the hole,
12:30using it as a trap.
12:31So, you'd be using your hole
12:33as bait?
12:34Yeah.
12:34Um, you're how old?
12:3630?
12:36And you're, er,
12:37getting off on pretending
12:38Gary's gay.
12:40What?
12:41Eh, what?
12:43I think she's been on a wacky-backy.
12:47Yeah.
12:51Oh.
12:52What's that?
12:55It's very complicated.
12:57You open that,
12:57you put that in there,
12:59you put that down there,
13:00and you...
13:01Yeah.
13:02Punch the green button.
13:03Were we talking earlier
13:04about Dostoevsky's
13:05House of the Dead?
13:07Yeah, I think they mentioned it, yeah.
13:08Which he wrote in 1862.
13:11I was just going to say,
13:11um, of course,
13:13it wasn't his first major work.
13:14Was it?
13:15No, his first major work
13:16was Notes from the Underground,
13:17which he wrote
13:18when he got back
13:19to St Petersburg in 1859.
13:21Really?
13:21Yeah, definitely.
13:22Well, of course,
13:23my favourite, er,
13:24is, um,
13:25The Raw Youth.
13:26It's basically where
13:26Dostoevsky,
13:27he goes on to explain
13:28how science
13:29can't really find answers
13:31for the deeper human need.
13:32Yeah.
13:33Dostoevsky's house.
13:36Yeah.
13:39Anyway, whatever happens,
13:39it ain't going to be
13:40a flashy red.
13:40I haven't been.
13:41No.
13:42Yeah, just be a registry office,
13:43you know, save money.
13:44And then what we'll probably do
13:45is move in with my mum
13:46for a few months.
13:47Save on rent?
13:48Yeah.
13:49Erm, let Dawn get
13:50a few kiddies under her belt,
13:51which would be nice
13:52because then my mum
13:52can look after them.
13:54And, er, well,
13:54you'll probably go out
13:55and get a little
13:55part-time cleaning job
13:56or something.
13:57Gotta dream the dream.
14:00What's that?
14:01No, I was just laughing
14:02at what Dawn said.
14:04Because you're such a big-eyed flyer.
14:05No, I was just
14:07laughing at the joke.
14:08When you start getting a knife, mate,
14:09you can take the mickey out of ours.
14:10Me, I'm not having a go,
14:11I'm just, you know.
14:25No, no, no, no.
14:49You can't get a bloody word in edgeways.
14:55Matron.
14:56Morning, fat lad.
14:57Oh, fat lad.
14:59Oh, God.
15:01Didn't you?
15:09Now, check out the opposition.
15:12Yeah.
15:12Er, Ricky, it's Chris.
15:14Hello, mate.
15:14Hi, Chris Finch.
15:15What's your name, mate?
15:16Heard about blockbusters.
15:17Oh, Tommy.
15:18Need more than that tonight.
15:19Heard about your Dostoevsky.
15:21I'll read a book a week,
15:22so a question like that
15:23can't really catch me at.
15:24While you're down there, love.
15:25Close to the bone, but harmless, isn't it?
15:28Give me half hour there,
15:28it'll be up to me nuts and guts.
15:30Sorry, exactly which books
15:31do you read every week?
15:33Science.
15:34Science and nature, innit?
15:35All the, everything on the trivia board,
15:36all those different subjects.
15:38In books.
15:39Yeah.
15:40These sound like I'm reading a book
15:41between them, sometimes.
15:42Yeah.
15:42College boys.
15:43Yeah, but they're students.
15:44Waste of space.
15:45Oh, I don't do anything all day,
15:47but, oh, I need more money to do it.
15:49Political.
15:50Yeah, but I had a job while I was studying,
15:52so it was all right.
15:53Yeah, right, and what was your job?
15:55Professor in charge of watching Countdown every day.
15:59Clever and funny, I bloody hate him.
16:01That's why we get on, I think.
16:03Isn't it?
16:04Similar.
16:06Can I have everyone's attention, please?
16:12Welcome to the 7th Annual Wernum Hog Quiz Night.
16:16Current champions are this team here,
16:19the dead parrots.
16:20The left of life.
16:21He sleeps.
16:22If you unnail the perch,
16:23you will be pushing up the daisies.
16:26Monty Python.
16:28Question one.
16:29All right.
16:30Wait, hang on.
16:30Go to David.
16:31We haven't got...
16:32Oh, yeah.
16:34Tim's birthday today.
16:35It's 30.
16:36He is young.
16:36Woo!
16:41So, what better way to celebrate than a battle of wits?
16:44So, let the blame...
16:45Well.
16:47Okay, question one.
16:48In the mid-1960s,
16:51US Army replaced all existing infantry guns
16:54with the M16 rifle
16:55and which fixed-rate repeat-fire machine gun?
16:59You what?
17:00Just write down the answer if you know it.
17:02Next.
17:03We've been quiz champions for six years now.
17:07We nearly lost it two years ago, unjustly,
17:10because Gareth was quiz master then.
17:12The question was,
17:13what type of alien is Mr Spock?
17:16And everyone put Vulcan.
17:17Vulcan, which is incorrect.
17:20Mr Spock is half Vulcan, half human.
17:23Okay?
17:24And Gareth went,
17:25oh, look, just everyone gets one point.
17:26I said, no, no, everyone does not get one point.
17:28Carpet munches don't get a point.
17:29Dr Wankenstein doesn't get a point.
17:31Stephen Hawking's football boots don't get a point.
17:33I do.
17:33I had to go home to get a book to prove it.
17:36And they went,
17:37oh, yeah, yeah, you're right again.
17:38Well done.
17:39You've won.
17:39Sorry.
17:40No apologies necessarily.
17:41Let's get on with the quiz.
17:43But remember, learn.
17:46Okay, question two.
17:47In the song 19 by Paul Hardcastle,
17:50he told us that the average age of a soldier in the Vietnam War was 19.
17:55Hardcastle also told us the average age of a soldier in the Second World War.
17:58What was it?
18:00Gareth, are all these going to be about war?
18:02No, I've got loads of, I've got one on tennis, one on the Suez Canal, loads.
18:08Okay, question three.
18:10Which canal links the Mediterranean with the Red Sea?
18:14Oh, I don't want to talk about Mr Spock.
18:16That was, that was all sorted out then.
18:18Okay, questions were asked.
18:20Certain parties were unhappy.
18:21The questions were solved.
18:23End of discussion.
18:24All right, don't rake up old graves.
18:26I don't want to go through all that again about, you know,
18:28whether he's a Vulcan or a human or vice versa.
18:32All I will say is what I said at the time.
18:35Okay?
18:35Look at his ears.
18:37Al, could you confuse Howard Jones with Nick Kershaw?
18:41Shame on you.
18:42Nick Kershaw's the little...
18:43Howard Jones was the one with the...
18:45No, that whole brand's about old entertainment.
18:47Right, that whole brand's about old entertainment.
18:49It's all about, like, late 60s.
18:52All right, which insect produces Gossamer?
18:55Shh, come on, man.
18:56Which insect produces Gossamer?
18:57Go on, what is it?
18:58Oh, you don't want to know, Finchie.
19:00What is it?
19:00It's a spider.
19:01The spider is an arachnid, not an insect.
19:04Ah, yes.
19:05Six legs or eight legs.
19:07Yeah, am I right?
19:08Two out.
19:08Shame on you.
19:12Eight legs, six legs.
19:14Eight legs, six legs.
19:15We'll count them.
19:16You turn the university of life.
19:18Go on, go learn.
19:19Yeah, a spider is not an insect, officially.
19:21We'll see, we'll see, we'll see.
19:23We'll see when this is going.
19:25People go,
19:25Oh, why is it important?
19:27A question about Mr. Spark.
19:28I go, all right.
19:29So I'm saying,
19:30Oh, I've got a new pedigree dog breed.
19:32It's half Alsatian, half Labrador.
19:34I go along to Crufts.
19:35I go,
19:36Oh, can I enter this dog in the Labrador section?
19:38No.
19:38Why?
19:39Because it's not a Labrador.
19:39Correct.
19:41Can I enter in the Alsatian section?
19:42No, for the same reasons.
19:44Now get that dog out of my sight.
19:45Thanks, I will.
19:46You've proved my point.
19:49And that's Crufts, right?
19:52Who had a hit single with Don't Speak?
19:57No doubt.
19:58Yeah.
19:58I thought it might be.
19:59I thought it might be no doubt.
20:00What, you thought it might be?
20:01Why did you say Farnham Blonde?
20:02I got hooty and a bloated.
20:04Sorry, let's move on.
20:06East.
20:06East side.
20:09Oi.
20:11Well, you do know.
20:12It's not even you.
20:20I said no doubt, though.
20:21It was the first thing that came in.
20:22And then you're putting this thing in my mind.
20:24It's poison with your bloody Farnham Blonde.
20:28Eh?
20:28Both good groups.
20:29Yeah, just don't guess.
20:31Think.
20:31Logical.
20:32Think.
20:33There's no logic to music.
20:34It's art.
20:36Is this the first time you've lost?
20:38We're not losing.
20:39The right questions aren't coming up.
20:41Well, that's the whole point of a quiz, isn't it?
20:42It's supposed to be random.
20:43Yeah, well, randomly awful.
20:45I'll tell you what, next time I'll choose the questions, eh?
20:47Good quiz, master.
20:47Go on, choose a topic.
20:48All right.
20:48Sport.
20:49What's the capital of Iceland?
20:51Is that still a sport?
20:53You.
20:53All right.
20:54You, capital of Borneo.
20:55Don't care.
20:55See?
20:56Doesn't have one.
20:56See?
20:57Didn't get any of those, did you?
20:58See?
20:58And that was a naval random.
21:00Yeah, it was random.
21:02Hello, doctor.
21:04What?
21:05He's asking after me.
21:07I, no, there's no way I can get away now.
21:09I am snowed under at work.
21:11Can't you give me something to help me sleep?
21:13Oh, okay.
21:14Yeah.
21:16Okay.
21:16Thanks.
21:17Oh, you don't know who's saying in the summertime, do you?
21:22Mongo, Jerry.
21:23Okay.
21:24Yeah.
21:24Yeah.
21:24Cheers.
21:25Thanks, Ossian.
21:35Do you want to hear the results or not?
21:38Okay.
21:39In position number four, universally challenged.
21:47Third place goes to Malcolm and Dennis, which means that, well, it's a dead heap between
22:01the dead parrot and the tits.
22:03So, tiebreaker situation.
22:05Could you send one member of each of your teams up for a tiebreaker?
22:11All right.
22:12Come and stand here.
22:13Tiebreaker question.
22:14Are you ready?
22:15First person to shout out, the correct answer wins.
22:17All right.
22:18So, if you're ready.
22:19Which Shakespeare play features a character called Caliban?
22:23Macbeth.
22:23Yes.
22:24No?
22:24Ricky?
22:24Midsummer Night's Dream.
22:26Hamlet.
22:27No?
22:27How'd you go?
22:27No, you said the first person to shout out, the answer wins.
22:30You didn't say you only had one shout at it.
22:31The Tempest.
22:32Tempest.
22:32He's got it.
22:34Ladies and gentlemen, the winner.
22:36That's good.
22:37I give you.
22:39You didn't say you only had one go at it.
22:41You said the first person to shout out, the answer wins, yeah?
22:43The first person.
22:44You'd answer my point.
22:45Okay?
23:08Here he is, Chris Fincher, is it Hamlet, or is it Mabeth, or is it Leo?
23:10Well, maybe I'll write the questions next time, and you can have this bastard.
23:14Banter.
23:14No, it's not banter.
23:16It's not banter, not now.
23:16All right, okay.
23:17So, when we have the question, name the Cuban leader who's been in power since the revolution
23:20of 1959.
23:21Dan Castro.
23:22Yeah, you know it now, yeah?
23:23Well, what did you say then?
23:24Well, it's a quick situation.
23:24No, no, no, tell them.
23:26It's a quick situation.
23:26What did you say then?
23:27What did you say then?
23:29Well.
23:33Who's the Cuban leader?
23:35Frey Bentos.
23:37No wonder this place is going down the pan.
23:39You're a waste of bloody fun.
23:40Why?
23:40Don't want to get at him just because they beat you.
23:42They beat me?
23:43Yes.
23:44I could give you a list of 50 things I could beat them at.
23:46Both of us.
23:47Like, throw him.
23:48Throw him?
23:49No.
23:49Yeah?
23:49Right, so, landlord of the land pub in Chichester, yeah?
23:52Challenges me to throw one of these little, you know, copper kettles over his pub.
23:56All right?
23:56So, I'll go outside, take off my tie, tie it to the handle.
24:00Did he go over?
24:03Obviously, yeah.
24:04That's actually an official territorial army method if you're in the jungle.
24:08Say we wouldn't use a tie, obviously, you'd use vines from the trees.
24:10Would he use a kettle?
24:11No, it would be the equivalent.
24:12Right.
24:13Coconut.
24:13I will throw anything that you choose over this building.
24:16If I do it, we win the quiz.
24:18New challenge.
24:18How does that work?
24:19Double or quiz.
24:19It's a challenge.
24:20Yeah.
24:20So, you choose anything.
24:21If you can throw it over, we've won the champagne.
24:23And that's it.
24:23And that's the real quiz.
24:24That was the real quiz.
24:25If I do it, you choose one thing.
24:26You really are a couple of sad little men, aren't you?
24:29Sad little men.
24:29He's thrown a kettle over a pub.
24:31What have you done?
24:32Do you want a challenge or not?
24:33So, if I do it, we win the quiz.
24:35We win the prize.
24:35Yeah, exactly.
24:35That's the real quiz.
24:36That's the real prize.
24:37You choose something.
24:38Choose something.
24:40Yeah.
24:42So, Gareth, throw Gareth seriously.
24:44No, I know.
24:45Birthday boy.
24:46No, no, no.
24:47Throw his shoes.
24:47No, no, no, no.
24:49No, no, no, no.
24:54Tickle him.
24:54Tickle him.
24:55Tickle him.
24:55Can I have it back?
24:55Can I have it back?
24:56Come on.
24:57Oi.
25:00Here we go.
25:01Using the Thai method.
25:02Oh, no.
25:02The shoelaces.
25:04I'm a bastard.
25:05I knew you would.
25:05I knew you would.
25:06Typical.
25:07That'll work.
25:07So, Finn.
25:08All right.
25:09Thank you very much.
25:10It's a challenge.
25:11You'll get it back.
25:12You'll get it back.
25:12It's a challenge.
25:15How are we going to have it goes over?
25:17What?
25:17How are we going to have it goes over?
25:18Go and check.
25:19It goes over.
25:20Suss.
25:20Go on.
25:21Right.
25:21Here we go.
25:21Here we go.
25:22Okay.
25:22I will have you now.
25:24Two.
25:25And a three.
25:26A four.
25:29Oh, yes.
25:31Looking good.
25:32Come on now.
25:33Did it go over?
25:34Did it go over?
25:35Yeah.
25:36Can I have it past me?
25:37Good.
25:38Good job, you.
25:39Oh, wonderful.
25:41Screw blockbusters.
25:42Screw Bob Holness.
25:43And screw your goal run.
25:44No, I'm a loser.
25:45I'm a loser.
25:45You're shit.
25:47Yes, I am the boss.
25:48Like Springsteen, born to run.
25:49The slow run.
25:50Say, university education didn't help you there, did it, Carl?
25:53Now, let that be a lesson to you.
25:54Now, respect your elders and do not fuck with the big boys.
25:58Life.
25:59I've got his hair.
25:59Take his hair over.
26:00No, don't take his hair over because there's a radio as well.
26:05Why not?
26:06Why not?
26:14Why not?
26:14Do you want any?
26:16No, let's go.
26:17See you, Tim.
26:19See you later.
26:29What becomes of you, my love?
26:34When may I finally strip you off?
26:39The handbags and the glad rags that your friend had to sweat so you could buy.
26:46Bye.
26:47Bye.
26:49Bye.
26:52Bye.
26:53Bye.
26:55Bye.