- 3 hours ago
1975 SITCOM "The Brandon family and The Three Great-Aunts From Glossop assemble for Auntie Edna's funeral; after 25 years of marriage, Annie wants Les to take her on a second honeymoon; Carter's girlfriend Pat decides it's time they got engaged." IMDB Starring Robin Bailey, Liz Smith, Ray Mort, Stephen Rea, Anita Carey
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TVTranscript
00:26The Lone Ranger
00:39Yet, O Lord God most holy, O Lord most mighty,
00:44O holy and most merciful Saviour,
00:47deliver us not into the bitter pains of eternal death.
00:53Thou knowest, Lord, the secrets of our hearts.
00:57Shut not thy merciful ears to our prayer.
01:03But spare us, O Lord most holy, O God most mighty,
01:08O holy and most merciful Saviour,
01:11their most worthy...
01:13Oh, I wish they'd get a move on.
01:15There, Mott. There, there, Lord.
01:19If they don't hurry up, we'll miss bloody football results.
01:22Football results?
01:24Honestly, Mott, fancy thinking about football results
01:27when they're laying your poor dead wife to rest beneath the sod.
01:31She'd give you a shuriken of your life if she could hear you.
01:57What are you thinking of, O Lord?
01:59Memories?
02:00No, I was just thinking what a champion crop of onions you could grow this way.
02:09Come on, then, Mott.
02:10Pay your respects to three great aunts.
02:13Thank them for coming our way from Glossop.
02:15Ask them when they're going home.
02:19Tar, very much for coming.
02:22Here.
02:23I like your scent.
02:26Is it homemade?
02:29Did you enjoy at the funeral?
02:32I've seen better.
02:33Oh?
02:34Who laid her out?
02:35Me and Mrs. Warrand are from dog meat shop.
02:38Didn't she look nice?
02:39Didn't she look restful?
02:40I thought she looked very smug.
02:43Smug, Aunty Mott.
02:44Smug.
02:44You're right, she should have looked contrite.
02:47She had no business falling off of that trolley bus.
02:50If she hadn't been killed, it could have been fatal.
02:53I thought she looked very apropos.
02:56What's that, Mott?
02:57Well, I thought she looked very apropos.
02:59Lying there in her new pinny in her gardening boots.
03:03But she'd had a lovely hairdo, hadn't she?
03:05There wasn't a curler in sight.
03:08I did that.
03:08She'd come round special from Masonini's.
03:11She'd give us £10 discount and a free bottle of shampoo.
03:15Pat?
03:15Who's Pat?
03:17Carter's fiancé.
03:18Haven't you been introduced?
03:19No, we have not.
03:21Oh, I'm sorry, Aunty Mourner.
03:23Come on, Carter.
03:25Do your stuff.
03:26Aye.
03:27Oh.
03:29Hmm.
03:30This is Pat.
03:32She's going to be my fiancée when we get engaged.
03:36Pleased to meet you.
03:38Isn't the price of sprouts outrageous?
03:43Hmm.
03:44I hope you haven't got a big bust under that frock, young woman.
03:48Pardon?
03:49Can't bide young women be big busts.
03:51No, I don't know.
03:52They can come in quite happy, you know.
03:55Well, anyway, I...
03:57Show a sense of bereavement, will you?
03:59Let's have a look of inconsolable loss on your face.
04:04About time.
04:06Now then, Aunty Mourner, you were saying...
04:08I was saying that in my day, young women didn't have big busts.
04:13Oh, didn't they?
04:14What did they have, then?
04:15Modesty.
04:16They waited till they was married before they had big busts and things like that.
04:20Oh, well, I don't think you need to worry about a big bust with Pat, Aunty Mourner.
04:23Anyway, our cart has got it all well in hand.
04:26Now then, now then.
04:28Take in, come on.
04:31Stop!
04:31Aren't we forgetting something?
04:34Grace!
04:35And your hand legs, you.
04:36Come on, do your stuff.
04:38And let's have a look of reverence on your face.
04:46Dear God, unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...
04:51Oh, sit down, man.
04:54Now then, hands together, eyes closed.
04:59Dear Heavenly Father, having recently completed the last rites of our Edna, what fell off a trolley bus through sheer
05:06carelessness,
05:08We sit down together in thy presence at this table, groaning with the repast that hast in thy munificence provided.
05:15And we thank thee, Lord, for thine individual trifles and thy fine-chopped pick-a-lily.
05:24Where do you get that pick-a-lily from, Annie?
05:27Go for St. Arkansas, 35p, special offer.
05:30He was robbed.
05:31We thank thee, Lord, too, for the blessing of good health, recently diseased, accepted.
05:37And we pray that in thine infinite wisdom and mercy, the pork pies will be fresher than they was at
05:44Cousin Winnie's funeral last Whitson time.
05:47Amen.
05:51Come on, then, Stavely, put that paper down.
05:54It's rude to read at mealtimes.
05:56It arms your spine.
05:59Pardon?
06:00I don't know what you find to read in the paper.
06:02All you get in the paper these days is bad news and greyhound results.
06:06There's a very interesting piece here.
06:09Pardon?
06:10Where?
06:12In the births, marriages and deaths.
06:15Births, marriages and deaths.
06:18Yes.
06:19Eee, there's music in them words, isn't there?
06:22What's it say?
06:24It says here that Morse's wife has snuffed it.
06:32Nobody told me out about it.
06:35Pardon?
06:36Are you sure they feed him proper at that old folks' home, Annie?
06:40Does he get enough roughage?
06:41That's what I wonder, Antje.
06:43They give him too much of this newfangled treatment these days.
06:47All this talk about euthanasia.
06:50That's no good for him.
06:52It's too alpha euthanasia.
06:55You haven't got the Constitution for it, have you, Stavely?
06:59Pardon?
07:00Why wasn't I told about Morse's business?
07:04Pardon?
07:05Oh, tell him, Carter.
07:07Put him in the picture.
07:10Well, uh...
07:11Auntie Edna fell off a trolley bus.
07:14At a request stop.
07:16She landed on her head.
07:18It was just outside the county cricket ground.
07:21During the tea interval, they'd only scored one six, one for three.
07:24So we took her to hospital, but unfortunately it didn't do her no good.
07:28So we had to give her a funeral instead.
07:31Oh, I see.
07:32Pardon?
07:33Pardon?
07:34Well, who's Auntie Edna, then?
07:37Pardon?
07:37My missus.
07:39Oh, oh, I see being took badly, then.
07:42Pardon?
07:43No, uh...
07:44Give her my kind of regard when next you see her, will you?
07:48Pardon?
07:49Oh.
07:50It's a sin and a shame, the way they treat him in Attawum.
07:54Look at the state of him.
07:56Old army, grey coat and Mickey Mouse braces.
08:00And what have you got in that box?
08:03You're not still carrying your gas mask round with you, are you?
08:06I bet they've never even bothered to tell him that war's over.
08:11Hey, listen to me, Stavely.
08:14Hitler's capitulated.
08:15There's no need to carry your gas mask round in that box.
08:20Pardon?
08:21This is my gas mask.
08:24Pardon?
08:25This is Corporal Parkinson.
08:28Pardon?
08:28Oh?
08:29Corporal Parkinson.
08:31Pardon?
08:32He's an old soldier.
08:35Pardon?
08:36These are his ashes.
08:39Pardon?
08:40His ashes?
08:41Yeah.
08:42I carry him about with me wherever I go.
08:45He was my oppo, Corporal Parkinson.
08:48Pardon?
08:49Oh, I see.
08:51Well, um, keep him away from pork pies, will you, Stavely?
08:55I think he could be something of Elphazard in that state.
08:59Now then, Auntie Mona, you've not finished eating already, have you?
09:03Yes.
09:04It's time for our song.
09:06Song?
09:07At functions involving members of the family, we always give a song.
09:12Don't you remember what we sang at your wedding to Edna?
09:15No.
09:16Abide with me?
09:18Oh, aye.
09:19It was just like cup final.
09:22We even had a bit of hooliganism at reception and all.
09:27And, Annie, don't you remember what we sang at your wedding to Les 25 years ago?
09:32Oh, I do, Auntie Mona.
09:33I do, I do.
09:35Lovely.
09:38For those in Paris,
09:43Yes, well, that's what we'll sing now.
09:49Most appropriate considering.
09:51Considering what?
09:52Considering your Edna's journey into the great unknown.
09:55Across the river and into death's dark veil.
09:58Across the mountains and into the valley of the shadow of death.
10:01Hold on, hold on.
10:02It's not charge at Light Brigade she's in.
10:05She's travelling individual.
10:07You make it sound like a bloody package stored to my joker.
10:11Silence.
10:12Show a bit of respect.
10:13Ready?
10:14The note, if you please, Mary.
10:18The note, eternal father strong to say
10:26Whose arm doth bound the restless way
10:31Oh, my God, they've been on tonic wine, I guess.
10:35Where are you?
10:36I bet he's skulking somewhere.
10:38I know you.
10:41Lovely, love, lovely.
10:44Sounds almost like music.
10:55There you are.
10:57Skulking, reading paper.
10:59You're all that's missing when you're most wanted.
11:02You'll be missing on day of your own funeral, you will.
11:05And I know where I'll find you.
11:07Sitting on lavvy, reading paper.
11:10Leave over.
11:14Oh, I do love a good funeral.
11:16Oh, it makes me feel that romantic.
11:18Oh, lamb and pickled onions.
11:21Just listen to them singing in front parlour.
11:25They sang that at our wedding 25 years ago.
11:2925 years.
11:33Les.
11:34What?
11:35Would you fancy a second honeymoon?
11:40No, thank you.
11:41Why not?
11:43I didn't reckon much at first one.
11:45Why not?
11:49Breakfast were a disgrace.
11:51Breakfast aren't the most important thing on a honeymoon.
11:55There are other considerations.
11:57Such as?
11:57Well, you know.
12:02I don't.
12:03I haven't got a clue what you're talking about.
12:07Hey, Les.
12:09Do you remember first night of our honeymoon?
12:14Aye.
12:15I met Charlie Fernley just as we were crossing at Mersey Bar.
12:20They were going to watch Geoff Duke in TT races.
12:22Lucky devil.
12:23I said to him, I wish...
12:25I'm not talking about boat trip.
12:27I'm talking about our first night in the bedroom of the boarding house.
12:32So, that.
12:35Mrs. Plimsoll was kindness itself.
12:38She was more like a mother than a landlady.
12:41She gave us ox heart and fried onions for supper.
12:45Then she took us upstairs and showed us how to work the lavatory chains.
12:50Then she escorted us to bedroom door.
12:53And she said, well then, get stuck in.
12:57Try it out loud, woman.
12:58Give it a rest, will you?
13:00There's no use skulking off.
13:01I want a definite answer from you.
13:03Do you or do you not want a second honeymoon?
13:06No.
13:06Don't prevaricate.
13:09It's our silver wedding this year.
13:12And on the day of the anniversary,
13:14we are going to have a service of rededication
13:17in the church where we was wed with full choir plus organ.
13:22And after that, we're going to have a pucker,
13:25sit-down reception with enough room for your elbows.
13:28And after that, we're going to have a full-scale honeymoon
13:33with clean pyjamas and no holds barred.
13:39I think I'll go into funeral tea.
13:43Sounds a damn sight more attractive than that.
13:52I'm disgusted with you, Carter Brandon.
13:54This is the eighth time this week you've not done it.
13:57Done what?
13:58Propose to me.
14:00Oh, that.
14:01I mean, think of all the opportunities you've had.
14:04Hmm.
14:05Take Sunday night.
14:06You could easily have proposed to me while he was giving the dog a bath.
14:09Hmm.
14:10Why don't you propose to me now, love?
14:12Not at a funeral.
14:14Why not?
14:15We could make it a joint celebration.
14:16We could have our engagement party right here and now.
14:20I mean, it's a sin and shame to see all those Eccles cakes
14:22going to waste in the front parlour.
14:24And we could have your three great aunts sing us a song special.
14:28That's a very good reason for not proposing.
14:31Oh, what about tomorrow, then?
14:33I can't.
14:34I'm playing snooker.
14:37What's the matter, Carter?
14:38Have you fallen out of love with me?
14:39No, passes the pan scrub, will you?
14:42Ta.
14:43I mean, when your mother dies,
14:46and I hope it won't be from anything serious,
14:48but when she dies, Carter,
14:50oh, I'll give her a smash in funeral tea.
14:53You see, Carter,
14:55you just wouldn't be able to cope on your own
14:57if you were still a bachelor.
14:58I mean, you'd never think to cut the crusts off the sandwiches, would you?
15:03And never in a million years
15:04would you remember to order doilies for the cake stand.
15:07Doilies?
15:07You can't have a function without doilies.
15:10Everybody knows that.
15:13I bet the Queen has doilies for every meal.
15:16I bet she has them for breakfast and all.
15:18Prince Philip would do his nut if he'd come down
15:20and found there wasn't no doilies.
15:22Where's the bloody doilies, he'd say?
15:26Why can't you be like Prince Philip?
15:28He proposed.
15:29And if he can propose to the Queen of England,
15:32why can't you propose to me?
15:33I've got no regal connections.
15:35You wouldn't have to troop the colour.
15:37You wouldn't have to live in Buckingham Palace.
15:39Look, everybody's getting engaged bar me.
15:41Linda Preston's just got engaged to Ken Barmer.
15:44Who's he?
15:45Oh, you know, he was had up for tampering with a level crossing.
15:48He's got them funny-shaped thumbs.
15:49His mother breeds ferrets.
15:51Sounds quite a catch.
15:53It's a good job Prince Philip got his proposal in first.
15:57There's no need to be sarky.
16:01I know what.
16:03What?
16:04Propose to me on Thursday.
16:06We can get the announcement in the Weekly Chronicle and Guardian if you do.
16:10Special cheap rate.
16:12How about it, love?
16:13Propose to me on Thursday?
16:15I can't.
16:16Why not?
16:17I'm playing darts.
16:18You pig.
16:20You swine.
16:21You...
16:23You...
16:24You...
16:25Oh...
16:27I love you, Carter.
16:29I do.
16:31I do.
16:32I do.
16:33I do.
16:39Women.
16:41Ah.
16:42Women.
16:51A second honeymoon.
16:53A service of rededication.
16:56It's a devil, isn't it?
16:57Aye.
16:58That's right, then.
17:00You can laugh.
17:01It's hard.
17:03It's hard very much.
17:05But you're taking part in it, too.
17:07What?
17:08You're giving Annie away at the church.
17:10Me?
17:10Ah, she said her dad can't do it, or into death.
17:12So you'll have to step in and fill the breach.
17:15It's true.
17:16Will I have to wear the proper clobber?
17:18Oh, aye, you'll have to wear the proper clobber, all right.
17:20It'll be a spats job, will this?
17:22Spats?
17:23Well, it's forced to be.
17:24Women are devils for spats.
17:25It's a well-known fact of nature, is that?
17:28Women.
17:29Aye, women.
17:35Which one?
17:37Yours and mine.
17:38I'm not having you on my allotment.
17:50Last time you had set foot on my allotment,
17:53every single one of me turnips come out in gold weevil.
17:56They were like the plague of Egypt on me artichokes.
18:00Turnips, artichokes.
18:01Why don't you grow weeds like me?
18:03Don't talk so empty.
18:05I'm not.
18:06I like weeds.
18:07I feel sorry for them.
18:08Everybody's always after the gut.
18:10Look at them all.
18:12Fumitary.
18:14Shepherd's purse.
18:16Speedwelt.
18:17Silverweed.
18:18Yarra.
18:20There's character names like that.
18:23Not like Sprout.
18:25Where's the romancy Sprout?
18:52I like people to know when I'm in residence.
19:04What's Annie's game, Les?
19:06What's she up to?
19:08She says she wants to feel appreciated.
19:10She says she wants more affection, Sean.
19:13She says she wants to be taken out more.
19:15We've once had a sheepdog like that.
19:20Well, when you come to think of it, you know, there's not much difference between women and
19:23sheepdogs, is there?
19:24I mean, they've both got long hair, haven't they?
19:26I reckon sheepdogs is more faithful.
19:29They're easier to house train and all.
19:31Well, do you know, it took Edna 15 years to learn to bring me my slippers when I come home
19:36from work.
19:38I can only think of one advantage that women have got over sheepdogs.
19:42What's that?
19:43They don't chase motorbikes.
19:46Your Edna didn't chase motorbikes, did she?
19:49No.
19:50No.
19:53Shall you miss her now she's gone and snuffed me?
19:55Oh, I forced to.
19:56She were a dab hand at plumbing, you know.
20:00God knows who's going to paint the outside of the house now she's gone.
20:05Phil, you've got your freedom now, haven't you, lucky devil?
20:08Freedom, aye.
20:10Freedom.
20:12You know what, Les?
20:13I'll be able to wear me cap at Sunday dinner now.
20:17Jammy chuff.
20:19Look at me, I've got a silver wedding to contend with.
20:22I've got to celebrate 25 years of never-ending, ceaseless, grinding, griping,
20:28conjugal bloody bliss.
20:32Conjugal bliss has got a lot to answer for at the history of the world's misery.
20:37What I maintain is marriage wouldn't be half so bad if you could keep it in family.
20:45How do you mean?
20:46Well, I reckon Oedipus had got a right idea.
20:50He wanted to keep it in family.
20:52I'll bet he wanted to marry his mother for sole and simple reason.
20:56They were used to a cuking and he knew she'd iron his shirts proper and not singe his singlets.
21:02Aye, you've got something there.
21:04I mean, regardless of the fact that she's my sister,
21:09I'd have married Annie if it weren't for the way she's always humming out of tune whenever she's dusting landing.
21:15Drives me mad, does all that humming.
21:17Precisely.
21:18And if you'd been her brother like what I am, you'd have known all about it.
21:23You wouldn't have touched the idea of all he wedlock with a barge pole.
21:30Oh, that's trouble with marriage.
21:33Nine times out of ten, you find yourself marrying a total bloody stranger.
21:39Or a woman.
21:40Oh, aye, you can't keep women out on it.
21:42That's what spoils it all.
21:45Do you know why I'd have married if it hadn't been customary to marry a woman?
21:48Who?
21:49King George VI.
21:53He could have done worse for you, son.
21:55At least you'd never have gone short of a ticket for Lord's Test, would you?
22:02Les.
22:04If I'd been available, would you have married me?
22:11I don't know.
22:13Can you dine socks and use a Dolly Blue proper?
22:15No.
22:16Ah, well, sod it then.
22:18If I'd have married you, you'd have sent me out to work looking like a bloody rag riser.
22:21Hang up.
22:22You two are in dead trouble.
22:24Us, why?
22:25Me mother and the three great aunts are on the rampage after you.
22:28What for?
22:28To get you back to the funeral party.
22:30Oh, well.
22:32It had slipped me mind.
22:33It's funny how your wife's funeral can slip your memory like that, isn't it?
22:37What's the mood like, Carter?
22:38They've been rabbiting.
22:39Oh, that's all right.
22:40Women are always rabbiting.
22:43It's a low nature, is that?
22:44Men have hairy chests and smoke pipes.
22:47Women, rabbits.
22:49It's when they're silent, they're unpredictable and dangerous.
22:54Women.
22:55Now, don't let them trap you, Carter.
22:57Don't let them hem you in.
22:59Don't let them chain you up in marriage.
23:01You stand up for your freedom.
23:02Oh, look what marriage has done for us.
23:04I'm useless about that.
23:06I can't even bend the bloody fuse.
23:10I don't know why they were invented.
23:12Oh, I do.
23:13What for?
23:14For the propagation of the species.
23:17Well, I never reckoned much of that at the best of times.
23:21Fastly overrated pastime.
23:23All that grunting.
23:25Aye.
23:26Aye, but it's damn good exercise, though.
23:31The pundits tell us you get more exercise out of having your bit of nukie
23:36than you would out of playing all matches, Billy.
23:39Maybe.
23:40But rugby leaves a bloody sight more exciting.
23:43With more tactics to it.
23:44Aye, I suppose you're right.
23:46I reckon flying ointment is the human reproduction system.
23:51How do you mean?
23:53Well, I reckon we'd all be a sight better off
23:55if a woman laid an egg and sat on it for nine months.
23:59To act it out.
24:00That's not a bad idea.
24:02It's a cracker of an idea.
24:03Just think, she'd be stuck at house for nine months, sat on her egg.
24:08She'd have no excuse for coming to a pub with you, then.
24:13Aye, but she could always stick.
24:16She'd put the egg into the oven for a bit, couldn't she?
24:19Well, not with gas pressure, what it is, do you?
24:21No, you couldn't rely on it.
24:24Just think what had happened.
24:26You'd put your oven on at regular or two.
24:28You'd stick your egg in it.
24:30You'd nip out for a couple of jills.
24:32When you'd come back, you'd find gas pressure's gone up,
24:35your potential son and heir's turned into a bloody omelette.
24:43Hey, shush, shush.
24:44What's that?
24:46It's singing.
24:48It's him.
24:49Onward, Christian soldiers.
24:51It's truth.
24:51They've come to get us.
24:55The season's bad as gold.
24:59Onward, Christian soldiers.
25:02It's just like the Blitzes, this.
25:04Sitting on the stairs, helpless.
25:06Listening to the thud of the guns,
25:08the scream of the bombs.
25:10Thinking to yourself,
25:11is this the end on it all?
25:13It's this the one
25:14what's going to finish off
25:15Houthwaite's brewery.
25:17Now, listen,
25:19before you start getting on your high horse,
25:20before you start spitting fire and blood...
25:22High horse, Les?
25:23Fire and blood?
25:24We've not come to do out like that.
25:27Oh?
25:27We've come to celebrate.
25:29Celebrate what?
25:30Well, we've seen your Edna off good and proper.
25:32We thought we might as well finish job
25:34and see you three off.
25:35See us off?
25:36What are you talking about?
25:38Annie told us the good news
25:39about your second honeymoon.
25:41Oh, we was pleased, Les.
25:43We was right delighted.
25:45We had one swift verse of,
25:46Oh, God, our helping ages pass.
25:49We bothered by fight the good fight.
25:52And then our thoughts turned to you, Mort.
25:54Oh, well, that sounds ominous.
25:55We brought you some good news.
25:57You're not going to nip me
25:58another fair-isle jumper, are you?
26:00No!
26:00Oh, it's much better news than that.
26:03You're coming to live with us.
26:04What?
26:05But I don't...
26:06I mean, I thought...
26:08I was looking forward
26:10Pardon?
26:11We couldn't bear to think
26:12of you living on your own
26:13now your Edna's gone and snuffed it.
26:15We couldn't bear to think
26:17of the loneliness you'd suffer.
26:19Having to go to the pub every night
26:21just to find company.
26:23Having to play balls
26:24just to pass the long, lonely hours
26:26before sleep gives its blessed release.
26:29Going down ill,
26:30going to bed in your singlet
26:32and forgetting to take your laxatives
26:34every Friday night.
26:36Welcome back to the bosom
26:38of the family, Mort.
26:40Welcome back, lad.
26:42Ta.
26:44Ta, very much.
26:48Can we...
26:49Can we have bilchards for tea tomorrow?
26:51No!
26:52No!
26:52Hang out in spots!
26:54And as for you, Carter,
26:55well, we can't leave you out in cold,
26:57can we?
26:58Can't you?
26:59Why?
27:00Tell him, Pat.
27:02Well, when I told your mother
27:04about your not proposing,
27:05she says to me,
27:06I know what's to do with him, Pat.
27:07She says,
27:08Do you, Mrs. Brandon?
27:08I says,
27:09I do, Pat, love.
27:10She says,
27:10I do, I do.
27:12Oh, I says,
27:13Oh, what is it?
27:14I said,
27:14if it's not a rude question, I said.
27:16And it wasn't a rude question, Carter.
27:17No?
27:18No.
27:19She says,
27:19The reason you haven't proposed to me
27:21is because you're so thoughtful
27:23and considerate.
27:25Me?
27:25Just like your dad, Carter.
27:27And do you know
27:29why your Uncle Mort
27:30took eight years
27:31to propose to your Auntie Edna?
27:34Go on, tell him, Mort.
27:35Well, I said,
27:37I said,
27:38I said it wasn't fair
27:39for her to leave home
27:41till she'd finished
27:41re-slating
27:42wash house roof.
27:46I meant thoughtful
27:48and considerate.
27:49Just like you, Carter.
27:51You've seen
27:52how deliriously happy
27:54your dad and me are.
27:55And you think
27:55it's not fair
27:56to marry Pat
27:57unless you can repeat that.
27:59And the great happiness
28:01endured by your Uncle Mort
28:03in his marriage
28:04to Auntie Edna.
28:06Now then, go on, Carter.
28:07Do your stuff.
28:10Aye.
28:11Well.
28:13Hmm.
28:15You're not thinking
28:16of re-slating
28:17your wash house roof,
28:18are you?
28:19No.
28:22Well, I...
28:23Aye.
28:24Oh, Carter.
28:25What a lovely proposal.
28:27Just like Richard Burton.
28:29I accept you, love.
28:31You've made me
28:31the happiest woman
28:32in the world.
28:33Oh, I wish you'd
28:34get your hair cut.
28:36Right then,
28:37let's have the toast.
28:38We brought a bottle
28:39of tonic wine special
28:40and a selection
28:41of pork pies
28:42and Eccles cakes.
28:43Come on, you man.
28:44Do your stuff.
28:44Pass it round.
28:45Right then, Carter.
28:47Let's get down
28:47to brass tacks.
28:48What about children?
28:50Shall we have a little boy
28:51or shall we have
28:52a colour television instead?
28:53Pardon?
28:54Pardon?
28:54Pardon?
28:56I've lost
28:56Corporal Parkinson.
28:58Yes.
29:00Pardon?
29:01Has anyone seen
29:02my oppo?
29:03Pardon?
29:04There you are,
29:05Uncle Stavely.
29:06Corporal Parkinson,
29:08R.I.P.
29:09Oh.
29:13Pardon?
29:15What's up then?
29:16Why all the glum faces?
29:19Not another funeral party,
29:21is it?
29:22Pardon?
29:23Tell him, Carter.
29:25Tell him, lad.
29:26Yes, Uncle Stavely.
29:27I suppose you could
29:29say it is.
29:36OK.
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