- 4 minutes ago
1975 SITCOM "The Brandon family and The Three Great-Aunts From Glossop assemble for Auntie Edna's funeral; after 25 years of marriage, Annie wants Les to take her on a second honeymoon; Carter's girlfriend Pat decides it's time they got engaged." IMDB Starring Robin Bailey, Liz Smith, Ray Mort, Stephen Rea, Anita Carey
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TVTranscript
00:05¶¶
00:49What are you fishing for?
00:52Boat.
00:54Where are you caught?
00:56Noat.
00:58Still.
01:00It's a grand day for catching nelt.
01:02Clear blue sky.
01:03Swallow's flying eye.
01:05Duck's coughing.
01:07It's a right belter, ain't it?
01:10Aye.
01:11But there's nothing to be so bloody enthusiastic about it.
01:18Nice bloke, that.
01:19Ooh, I thought he was very rude.
01:22Right gruff.
01:23Right terse.
01:25Right dour and grumpy.
01:27That's what I said.
01:28Nice bloke.
01:31Can I sit down for a bit?
01:33Here.
01:34On a bullard.
01:36It's not very romantic.
01:38What's wrong with it?
01:40Just listen to the sound of that water.
01:42Beautiful.
01:44Like the sound of dewdrops dripping from an angel's nose.
01:48Oh, Carter, don't be so sacrilegious.
01:52You know very well that angels always have hankies.
01:56A beautiful, restful noise.
01:59A nice rhythm.
02:01Say enough to send you off to sleep sparkle in five minutes flat.
02:06Honestly, Carter, you're a right weary willy.
02:11I know what'll happen on the first night of our honeymoon.
02:14Before I've got time to put me rollers in, you'll be lying in bed snoring your head off and still
02:18with your socks on.
02:19I like sleep.
02:20They don't make no demands on your powers of conversation.
02:24Well, I like romance, Carter.
02:27When we first went courting, you used to take me to some right romantic places.
02:31Hmm.
02:32You used to take me to Dinky Bakery and we'd have toasted pie clits and tea out of them silver
02:37pots you always burnt your thumbs on.
02:39Hmm.
02:40You used to take me to Bellevue Zoo and all.
02:42You used to hold hands with me in the parrot house.
02:44Hmm.
02:47Why don't we try and recapture them days, Carter?
02:51All right.
02:52We'll have a stunk up at the British Legionot Pot Supper Friday night.
02:55I'm not talking about boozing and stuffing your face with hot pot and pickled cabbage, Carter.
03:01I'm talking about whispering sweet nothings.
03:04I'm talking about dancing cheek to cheek.
03:06I'm talking about sheltering under your plastic mack at the speedway.
03:10Why can't we elope like your mum and dad?
03:13Well, they waited till they'd be married 25 years before they eloped, didn't they?
03:17Hmm.
03:18Yeah.
03:19Your dad always was a bit on the cautious side, wasn't he, Carter?
03:23That's not being cautious.
03:24That's being practical.
03:26Just look what me mother had got lined up for the silver wedding.
03:29A service of rededication with dove grey spats.
03:33A reception with Unsworth pork pies.
03:37And a second honeymoon with new pyjamas.
03:39No wonder he eloped.
03:41I bet the only thing that's spoiled it is that me mother went with him.
03:45It's over a week since the runoff.
03:48I wonder if they went anywhere nice.
03:50They say Venice can be smashing if you don't suffer from Qatar.
03:53And, of course, there's always Luton Airport if you're fond of Spain.
03:57They do say both calls nice if you don't plan the worksheets respond to it.
04:07And then Bournemouth.
04:08Bournemouth's very nice if you're a senior citizen and you go and bundle on the chimes.
04:12And, of course, there's always West Kirby.
04:14They say it's lovely provided you spend all your time in Oil Lake.
04:22Oh, Carter, I do love you, even if you're not very demonstrative.
04:27I think you're right, handsome.
04:30If you smoked a bulldog pipe, you might even look manly.
04:34I think you've got gorgeous brown eyes.
04:38Do they go bloodshot if you don't wear sunglasses?
04:41Yes.
04:43So do mine.
04:44Do you think we should have children, then?
04:47You are.
04:49Well, I mean, is it fair bringing children into the world who'll get bloodshot eyes if they don't wear sunglasses?
04:54I mean, it's a terrible responsibility, what with all these wars and the outrageous price of Sprouts.
05:00Hmm.
05:02Come on, Carter.
05:03Do your duty as a fiancée.
05:06Say something nice to me.
05:08Tell me how much you love me.
05:10Tell me how bleak your life would be if I was cut down in my prime in a fatal accident.
05:24Well, when you're all dolled up, you've got your eyelashes on.
05:51I'm sorry, Carter.
05:53I didn't hear a single word you said.
05:55It doesn't matter.
05:56It wasn't important.
06:01Oh, I'm hungry.
06:04I'm starving.
06:07My belly's convinced my throat's been cut.
06:10Well, don't look at me, Mort.
06:12I don't know how to cook.
06:13Well, can't you boil egg?
06:15Oh, no.
06:16Nothing as complicated as that.
06:18Well, how about a condensed milk sandwich, then?
06:20Surely to God you can manage that.
06:22If condensed milk's too difficult, I'll make do with tomato ketchup.
06:26I've told you, Mort, I can't cook.
06:29Why can't you?
06:30All women can cook.
06:31It's part of the birthright, like talking too much and having big backsides.
06:36I can't cook.
06:38My Bob wouldn't let me.
06:40He said he got an allergy to women cooking.
06:43I'd only to put one foot in that kitchen
06:46and he'd break out from head to toe in bright red blotches.
06:50Well, I wouldn't mind risking a few blotches
06:51for the sake of a round and dripping toast, Lil.
06:54Oh, he was a lovely cook, was my Bob.
06:58He was so consistent.
06:59Everything tasted the same.
07:02In 22 years of marriage,
07:04we never had one single breakout of food poisoning in our house.
07:10Yeah.
07:10That was only attraction and visit in your room.
07:14You see, he always used to wear these red rubber gloves.
07:17He was so hygienic, you see.
07:20Oh, he was a martyr to hygiene, was my Bob.
07:24Whenever he felt romantic, he'd pinch my cheeks
07:27and he'd say, pardon fingers, Lil.
07:30Then he'd tear off his red rubber gloves
07:33and boil them in bicarb of soda.
07:35Oh, I expect you've got them gloves stashed away,
07:39your trunk of souvenirs, have you?
07:41Oh, no.
07:42Oh, he lost them one Easter Monday.
07:45Oh, he was outbroke.
07:46I think they turned up in the tripe and onions
07:49he made the following Thursday.
07:51Oh, that was delicious.
07:55About time and all, I'm dying of hunger.
07:58I couldn't eat my dinner.
08:00I had to throw it away.
08:01Why?
08:01Well, nobody told me he had to take fish fingers out of the packet.
08:07Cardboard tasted all right, but fish were diabolical.
08:11I reckon he'd put all thumbs in it instead of bloody fingers.
08:14Honestly, men.
08:16You're hopeless when you're left to fend for yourselves.
08:19How would you manage to feed yourself
08:20if you was cast away on a desert island
08:22with only eight gramophone records?
08:24Simple.
08:25I'd eat Roy Plumley.
08:28Come on, I'll cook you something.
08:30What do you fancy?
08:31Well, I'm not mine, then.
08:32I'll have hope, provided it don't drink tasty H.P. sauce.
08:36Just a minute, Carter.
08:38I think Uncle Mort, with all his preoccupation
08:41with gutzing and gourmandising,
08:43has forgotten one important item to tell you.
08:46What's that?
08:47Well, the postcard we got this morning from Annie and Les.
08:50Oh, aye.
08:51We got a postcard from your mum and dad.
08:54It's a bit tatted.
08:55I caught dog worrying it, aren't we?
08:59He wouldn't let go
09:00until I give him final rates demand to play with instead.
09:04Is it a picture postcard with a view?
09:07Aye.
09:07Oh, I love picture postcards.
09:09You can get some lovely scenic effects
09:11if you spill marmalade on them.
09:13Is it a picture of somewhere romantic?
09:15Fairly romantic.
09:17Is it a picture of the Doge's Palace by Moonlight?
09:20No, it's a picture of a side entrance
09:23to Moffat Street Tram Sheds.
09:25Moffat Street Tram Sheds?
09:27Yes, but that's only half a mile down the road from here.
09:29Fancy.
09:29I wonder if they're having a lovely time.
09:32Having a smashing time.
09:34No worries or cares.
09:37Don't forget to buy a new flea collar.
09:41Eh?
09:42Oh, for the dog.
09:43Found a shop
09:45what sells delicious custard creams.
09:49Les bought me a pair
09:51of surgical sandals.
09:53Weather perfect.
09:55Wish you...
09:57Wish you...
10:01Wish you was here.
10:02We already are here.
10:04Exactly.
10:05And look at the mess we're in.
10:07We've got the church booked for the service of rededication.
10:11We've got the upstairs room of the Axe and Cleaver booked for the reception.
10:15And now they'll both have to stand empty and idle.
10:18I don't mind church standing empty and idle.
10:21They're used to it.
10:22But you can't let them down at Axe and Cleaver.
10:25It's tantamount to being a mortal sin, breaking your word to a publican.
10:29Well, maybe they'll turn up at the ceremony.
10:31I mean, at least we ought to go and see if they do.
10:33I'm not going to know church on speck, love.
10:35They might think I was religious or something.
10:38Well, I think they've both been very selfish and inconsiderate.
10:42I was really looking forward to having a good weep at the service.
10:46I was really looking forward to the reception, having a choice of wine.
10:51What do you want a choice of wines for?
10:53They all taste the same to me.
10:55The only difference is colour at stain they make on your shirt front.
10:59I was really looking forward to criticising Annie's hat
11:03and passing a remark about her slip showing.
11:06I was getting all worked up about me.
11:08Good God, it's Les.
11:12Has anyone seen Annie?
11:13No.
11:14She's been gallivanting round with you for the past week and a half.
11:18No, she hasn't.
11:20What's happened to her then?
11:21When we were low, we'd just turn round the corner of the street
11:24and we had a bloody good row.
11:25What about?
11:27The choice of venue for where we were going to go.
11:29She wanted to be romantic and go to Monte Carlo.
11:32What did you say to that?
11:34I said, stuff Monte Carlo.
11:36I said, let's stay at home and go to cricket.
11:39Good idea, Les.
11:40Haven't they been playing Derby this week?
11:42That's better than going to Monte Carlo.
11:44Stuth, they've got beer tents up and all there against Derby.
11:48You don't get things like that at Monte Carlo.
11:50That's what I said.
11:51She wouldn't listen.
11:52I said she could even fill me scorecard in if she liked.
11:56She'd just give me this threatening look and stormed off in a hoof.
11:59So what'd you do then?
12:00Well, I called after her in a very soft voice.
12:02When she didn't turn round.
12:05I went down to Canoe Bank and sat on a bollard and fanned myself in a cap until it went
12:10dark.
12:10Oh, well, there's nought like a good bollard to sit on when you're feeling down in dumps.
12:16I'd have had one in our front parlour only.
12:19Edna said it'd cost a fortune, he'd lose covers.
12:23Why didn't you come home after it had got dark?
12:54I felt ashamed.
12:56Good devil.
12:57You've been at my condensed milk, have you?
13:00No, I've been living off radishes and spring onions.
13:03Oh?
13:05Oh, it's a wonder we didn't hear you then.
13:12Come and sit down and I'll make you something tasty.
13:15Now, would you like egg and chips or would you prefer something simple?
13:19I don't want no food.
13:21I just want my wife back.
13:23You what?
13:24Oh, she'll never come back now.
13:25I can feel it in me bones.
13:27She'll be stretched out on the beach at Monte Carlo.
13:30And there'll be some greasy foreigner with hairy ears and maroon ankle socks.
13:34He'll be feeding her grapes and ogling her stretch marks.
13:37I'd punch his bloody head in if he ever turns up at the Bulls Club.
13:40Les, look, I think you'd best have a look at this.
13:45I don't think they've got grapes and foreigners with hairy ears at Moffat Street tram sheds.
13:54Well, I'll be jiggered.
13:56So, she's been here all the time.
13:58And what a liar.
14:00It wasn't me that bought the surgical sandals.
14:03I bought nothing personal for five years at least.
14:06No, well, naturally, you wouldn't.
14:09The last personal thing I bought for her was a new handle for the mangle.
14:14Hey, you don't think she's found herself a fancy man, do you?
14:19She has.
14:20She has.
14:22Oh, my God, she's found herself a fancy man.
14:25Oh, next.
14:26Look at him, Carter.
14:28How are the mighty fallen.
14:30I can remember him in days of his prime when all he knew about women was that they never gave
14:37up the seats on buses.
14:38What a giant of a man he was, hopeless at mending fuses, a dead loss at changing plugs, never distempered
14:46a ceiling in his life.
14:47And now look at him.
14:49How are the mighty fallen when a woman gets him in her clutches.
14:54I bet he even knows how many apostle teaspoons should be at knifedrow.
15:00Come on, Carter.
15:02Let's go in kitchen and make him something nice.
15:04He's not got an aversion to pilchards, has he?
15:12What's the matter with you?
15:14Oh, I'm laughing at them.
15:16Aren't they funny?
15:17How do you mean?
15:18Well, all old people are funny, aren't they?
15:20I mean, you don't think of them as having emotions like what we have.
15:24You only think of them as scratching under their armpits all day and complaining.
15:28I don't.
15:29I like old people.
15:31Do you, love?
15:31And what do you like about them?
15:33I like the way they drop the loose change on buses.
15:37I like the way they carry their library tickets in plastic cases.
15:42I like the way they smell of mint imperials and wintergreen ointment.
15:46I'm looking forward to being an old man.
15:49Why?
15:50Well, I won't have to watch a quick loss.
15:53They'll let me spit in the fire at the axe and cleaver.
15:56No one will think I'm a chuff if I carry a torch in me overcoat pocket.
16:01I'll have the great pleasure of having no one listening to me when I talk.
16:06Honestly, Carter.
16:07Fancy talking about old age when we've got the whole of our lives spread out before us.
16:12Aren't you looking forward to the future?
16:14Aye, provided it doesn't last too long.
16:17I think it's disgusting the way you've got to grow old.
16:20I mean, if they can invent a powder to cure athlete's foot,
16:24surely to goodness they can give you some pills to stop you from growing old.
16:27Hmm.
16:28Carter.
16:29What?
16:31If we was married and I ran off with a fancy man, what would you do?
16:35I don't know.
16:36I suppose I'd go back to wearing me vest in bed again.
16:39Shut up!
16:41Is that all you could think of?
16:44I mean, wouldn't you be heartbroken
16:46when you feel like sticking your head in the gas oven
16:48and writing a note to the coroner?
16:50Maybe.
16:51Yeah.
16:52Well, if you do, Carter,
16:54will you remember to write it on decent writing paper?
16:56I don't want you showing me up writing it on the back of an envelope in red ballpoint.
17:00OK, then.
17:01You're on.
17:03Oh, honestly, Carter.
17:05Aren't we being morbid?
17:07Pants are talking about suicide and old age at a time like this.
17:11We ought to be talking about romance
17:13and them fitter bookshelves you're going to make for the lounge diner.
17:17Oh, come on, Carter.
17:19Give us a kiss before I burn the toast.
17:20Hey, look, careful with them pilchards.
17:23Carter, I do love you.
17:25You know, the smell of pilchards always makes me feel romantic.
17:28Must be the tomato sauce.
17:34Carry on, don't mind me.
17:35I've seen far more horrifying sights than that
17:38when I served at trenches at First World War.
17:43What do you want?
17:43You, we're going to Axon Cleaver for a pint
17:47so your father can brood in familiar surroundings.
17:51What about his pilchards?
17:53I've just opened the tin.
17:54Pilchards?
17:56Oh, pilchards.
17:58What culinary crimes have been committed in thy name?
18:18Well, I never thought I'd live to see the day
18:20when I'd shed a tear over my old missus walking out on me.
18:23True.
18:24I've shed the odd tear or two over the death of a favourite ferret.
18:28So have we all, Les.
18:30So have we all.
18:32I wept copiously the day the milkman's horse expired.
18:36But I never thought I'd see the day
18:37when a woman would ever make me cry.
18:40These things happen, Les.
18:42These things happen.
18:44I never thought I'd live to see the day
18:45when a pint of good, strong northern ale
18:47would taste no better than half a pint
18:50of that tepid London bitter.
18:53It's true, Les.
18:54I didn't realise it were as serious as that.
18:57I wonder what this fancy man is like.
19:00Well, we don't know whether she's got one or not, do we?
19:02Listen, she's got a new pair of surgical sandals.
19:05Who else but a man with romantic designs
19:08would think of buying a woman a new pair of surgical sandals?
19:11True.
19:12No, she's either run off with a Romeo
19:14or else a self-seeking chiropodist.
19:1925 years of marriage.
19:22There's memories there.
19:23Memories.
19:24Oh, you'll soon get over them, Les.
19:26Memories like a commentary be Eddie Ware in it
19:30don't last forever.
19:32Thank God.
19:35I'll lay you long odds, Les,
19:38that a month from now you'll be hard-pressed
19:40to remember a single good thing about Annie.
19:43I'm not minded about that.
19:45It's the bad things I don't want to forget.
19:47Pardon?
19:48It's not happiness that makes people happy, Carter.
19:51No.
19:51It's misery.
19:52Is it?
19:53Oh, aye.
19:54For me, it's the miserable memories
19:56of your mother kissing me when I come home from work.
19:59Those bloody awful rock buns she used to make for Sunday tea.
20:02Is it?
20:03It's not the happy memories
20:05of shampooing her dad's whippets,
20:08of cleaning out his rabbit hutch.
20:10And now she's gone,
20:13and it's the humiliation of it.
20:15It's the disappointment of being let down by someone you trust.
20:18Never mind, Les.
20:19There's always disappointments where women is concerned.
20:23They're never as good at wallpapering as what you expect.
20:27They never...
20:28What's up, Les?
20:29What are you staring at?
20:31Parrot's not got at that barmaid again, has it?
20:35Good God, it's Annie.
20:37And she's brought a fancy man or not.
20:39Do you mind if we join you?
20:41You've got a nerve.
20:43You've got a cheek.
20:44Pardon?
20:45Bringing him, of all people, in here.
20:47Showing him off in front of my mate,
20:48St. Dart's Club Buster.
20:50I have a bloody good mind to...
20:51Oh, Les!
20:52You're never going to strike a man of the cloth.
20:55A man of the cloth?
20:57This is Mr. Patterdale.
20:58He's the vicar at the church
21:00where we're supposed to be going for our service of rededication.
21:03Vicar?
21:03What's he doing here in that get-up?
21:05He's no right to be let loose on decent people
21:07without his dog collar.
21:09Here, here.
21:11He's not a plain-clothes parson, is he?
21:15I'm a plain man, right enough.
21:17I don't believe in flounce and flummery.
21:19I believe in getting out and about,
21:21taking religion to the people where they're really needed,
21:23at their work and here, at their play.
21:25Who needs religion when you've got
21:27out where it's best bitter from wood?
21:29Who needs him when you...
21:31Hold on, hold on, hold on.
21:32Would somebody kindly tell me what this is all about?
21:34Certainly.
21:35I've come to apologise.
21:37You?
21:38Apologise?
21:39Mm.
21:40You'd best get some more drinks in, lad,
21:42before we all faint from shock.
21:44Well, then, Les, you might as well know,
21:47I didn't go to Monte Carlo.
21:49No?
21:50No, there wasn't a convenient train.
21:52So I took a bus,
21:53and I went to stay with Dolly Womersall
21:56over the boot repairers.
21:57And while she was out at work,
21:59at the ointment factory,
22:01I had time to sit and ponder
22:03and think about you and me.
22:06I had time to have two pair of shoes,
22:08sold and eels and all.
22:09Go on, woman, get on with it.
22:11Well,
22:12I thought about the whole of our 25 years of marriage.
22:16All the ups and downs,
22:18all the hardships we'd had,
22:20all the different dogs we'd had.
22:23Hey, do you remember Crumpsell,
22:25the Bedlinton Terrier?
22:26Aye.
22:27Here are all my George Foamy records.
22:29Aye, I don't have your collection of Plotsam
22:32and Jetsam and all.
22:33Well,
22:34I thought about things like that,
22:36and I realised they'd been very selfish.
22:40Selfish?
22:40Yeah, forcing you to go to church for the service,
22:43forcing you to go on a second honeymoon
22:45and be romantic in new pyjamas.
22:49Well, I realised it was right against your nature.
22:52I mean, let's face it, Les,
22:54what is your true nature?
22:57What is the real you?
23:00I don't know.
23:01They didn't tell me at my army medical.
23:04All they said was I'd got incipient fallen arches.
23:07Is that what you mean?
23:08No!
23:09What I mean is the real you.
23:11Miserable,
23:12the grubrious,
23:13gloom,
23:15apathetic
23:15and thoroughly selfish.
23:19Aye,
23:19that sounds like me, all right.
23:20Well,
23:21that's why I asked the vicar
23:22if he'd scrubbed the service
23:24and give us his blessing
23:25where I felt you would be most at home.
23:27That's why I knew you'd want it here.
23:29Here?
23:30You'll have us thrown out, woman.
23:32It's truth,
23:32he's quite a tolerant landlord.
23:34He don't mind strong language
23:36and women with loud voices.
23:38You start being religious,
23:39he'll have his bloody Doberman pincers on you.
23:43Here.
23:43Even Salvation Army wear tin helmets
23:46when they come in here, you know.
23:48Well then, Les,
23:49what do you say?
23:52I don't have to wear spats, do I?
23:54No.
23:55I don't have to make a speech
23:56and thank everyone for coming?
23:57No.
23:59All right then,
24:00go on.
24:01Would you like a pint
24:02while you're doing it?
24:03The pianist generally has a brown nail
24:04when he's playing for strippers.
24:08No, thank you, Mr Brandon.
24:09Unlike some of my colleagues,
24:11I don't believe in drinking on duty.
24:13Now then,
24:14you two,
24:15ah,
24:1725 years of marriage.
24:19Ooh, it's a long time.
24:21It is at all.
24:21It's almost as long as Darlington
24:23have been in fourth division.
24:26And during the course of that
24:29quarter of a century
24:31of nuptial alliance,
24:32have there been any regrets?
24:35No, Vicar.
24:36Ah.
24:37Mr Brandon.
24:38No, not really.
24:40No, really?
24:41Is this all it is after 25 years?
24:43Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
24:45Remember where you are.
24:47Oh, I'm sorry, Vicar.
24:50I just got carried away
24:52while we're not having a row
24:53with him for over a week.
24:56And during that
24:575 and 20 years
24:59of marital concourse,
25:01has there been anything
25:02that should have been done
25:03that was not done,
25:05Mrs Brandon?
25:07Not really, Vicar.
25:09Mr Brandon.
25:11I'm sorry,
25:12I didn't quite catch that.
25:13I was seeing if Teddy Ward
25:14got a double top
25:15on the dartboard.
25:16Oh, I see.
25:18Well, obviously,
25:19you're a well-suited,
25:20well-contented purr.
25:22And I have great pleasure
25:23in giving you
25:24my congratulations
25:25on the past 25 years
25:26and my blessing
25:28for the years
25:29that stretch out
25:30in the future.
25:31Actually, Mr Brandon,
25:33he got double one.
25:34Oh, thank you very much.
25:36Vicar, that was lovely.
25:38How much do I owe you?
25:40Do you want cash
25:41or will you take
25:41a provident check?
25:45Hand them round, Carter.
25:47Come on, Lil,
25:48give all the snuffling
25:49like that.
25:50I always snuffle
25:51on occasions like this.
25:53I think it must be
25:55the stuff that Parsons
25:56get their trousers
25:57dry cleaned in.
25:59Come on, Pat,
26:00get that down.
26:01Good God,
26:02she's snuffling and all.
26:04Here,
26:05when you think
26:05at number of women
26:06in this country
26:07and at number of times
26:09they turn on
26:10old waterworks,
26:11it makes you wonder
26:12why they build
26:13all them bloody reservoirs
26:14in Wales,
26:15doesn't it?
26:16Carter,
26:17wasn't it romantic?
26:19Didn't the vicar
26:20do it nice?
26:22Hasn't he got
26:22a funny Adam's apple?
26:26Carter,
26:27would you like
26:28to be married in a pub?
26:29Not during opening hours
26:30if you waste
26:31a good supper in time.
26:33Right then,
26:35one and all.
26:36Let's have a toast.
26:39I have known
26:40Annie
26:41and Les
26:42for many a long year
26:45and in the course
26:46of that time
26:47my sympathies
26:48have been solely
26:51with Les.
26:53What he has had to put up
26:54with beggar's description.
26:57As for the
26:58constant nagging
26:59he's had to end here
27:00and the ceaseless demands
27:03of a wife
27:04who has showered him
27:05with love
27:06and affection
27:07and buttered beef sandwiches
27:10and buttered beef sandwiches
27:11and comellini water
27:12and bankologies
27:14and wait
27:15with days of sick...
27:18days of...
27:27And so,
27:29in spite of all
27:30agonies
27:31and miseries
27:32that passed
27:3325 years
27:34I'll give you this toast.
27:36Hey up,
27:37there's nobody
27:38listening to me.
27:39No, I've been
27:39talking to Pat.
27:40We've reached a decision.
27:42Go on,
27:42tell them, Pat.
27:43Well,
27:44we've decided
27:45we like the trailer
27:46so much
27:46we'll have the real
27:47performance next month.
27:48Real performance?
27:49Yes.
27:50We'll have a joint
27:51ceremony in the church.
27:53You and me
27:53will get married
27:54and at the same time
27:55your mum and dad
27:56will get rededicated.
27:58Well,
27:58what do you say, love?
28:00Well, Les?
28:03Well then, Les!
28:06There isn't a match,
28:07is there?
28:08No.
28:11Well then?
28:12Well, we might as well then.
28:13They'll only be wrestling
28:14on the telly.
28:15Oh, Carter!
28:17I never knew
28:18you were so romantic.
28:20I didn't know you cared.
28:22I don't really.
28:23I just believe
28:23in safety and numbers.
28:26Tell me you love me, Carter.
28:28Here?
28:29Now?
28:29Yeah.
28:30Here and now.
28:36I love you.
28:38Oh, Carter.
28:41Have you got
28:41lovely handwriting?
28:43Come on, Les.
28:44Give us a kiss.
28:46Not now.
28:47Save it till later.
28:48When, Les?
28:49Tonight?
28:50No.
28:51The day we celebrate
28:52our golden wedding.
28:53Oh, Peter.
28:54Oh, you too.
28:56Oh, I didn't know
28:57you cared either.
28:59Oh!
28:59Oh, oh, oh, oh.
29:04Oh, oh, oh, oh.
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