The Power of Orchestrating Connection | How Authentic Communities Drive Business Growth - video Dailymotion

Workforce Alchemy

Lots of leaders think they need a bigger network. What they actually need is stronger, more intentional relationships.  In this episode, David Homan, author of Orchestrating Connection: How to Build Purposeful Community in a Tribal World, breaks down how CEOs, business owners, and leaders can turn authentic relationships into a powerful engine for business growth.  If you want to build trust, create meaningful connections, and develop a community that actually drives results, this conversation will completely shift how you think about networking.  What You Will Learn:  -The difference between networking and true community building -Why most leaders fail when trying to build a community -How to identify and filter out takers and “ask-holes” -Strategies to build trust through authenticity and vulnerability -How to nurture high-value relationships that last -Why curiosity is one of the most underrated leadership skills -How strong communities directly impact business growth and opportunities  Key Takeaways:  -Authentic relationships outperform large, shallow networks -Trust is built through consistency, curiosity, and shared human experiences -Great communities are intentionally curated, not open to everyone -The best leaders invest in relationships before they need something  This episode is for:  -CEOs and business owners -Sales leaders and executives -Entrepreneurs focused on long-term growth -Anyone looking to build a powerful professional network that actually delivers value  Chapters:  00:00 The Shift from Networking to Orchestrating Connection 03:07 Common Mistakes in Building Community 04:45 The Importance of Nurturing Relationships 08:28 Identifying Givers vs. Takers 14:02 Building Trust in Networks 16:43 Prioritizing Relationships for Business Success 18:59 The Long-Term Value of Authentic Connections 20:16 Curiosity as a Key to Connection 23:00 The Art of Meaningful Connections 27:54 Building Relationships at Different Stages 33:02 The Role of Technology in Networking 35:55 Measuring Community Health 39:00 Intentional Connection Practices  📚 Resources & Links  🌐 David Homan Website https://davidhoman.com  🔗 Connect With Workforce Alchemy  🌐 Websites:  https://workforcealchemy.com/ https://masonduchatschek.com/  📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ReverseRiskConsulting  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/workforcealchemy/  🐦 X / Twitter: https://x.com/WorkAlchemist  🎥 Rumble: https://rumble.com/user/WorkforceAlchemy  📼 Dailymotion: https://www.dailymotion.com/WorkforceAlchemy  📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WorkforceAlchemist  Keywords  community building, leadership, networking strategy, business growth, authentic connections, relationship building, trust in business, CEO networking, entrepreneurship  Hashtags  #Leadership #BusinessGrowth #CommunityBuilding #Networking #Entrepreneurship #CEO #RelationshipBuilding #Trust #AuthenticLeadership #BusinessStrategy

Transcript

00:05Welcome to the Mason Guru Check Show.

00:07This episode is brought to you by Workforce Alchemy,

00:11helping leaders improve hiring, engagement, and retention

00:14while uncovering people-related profit leaks hidden in everyday operations.

00:20David Holman is the author of Orchestrating Connection,

00:25How to Build Purposeful Community in a Tribal World,

00:29and the founder of Orchestrating Connection and SOAR Connect.

00:33For more than a decade, he has helped entrepreneurs,

00:38investors, and family offices transform their networks into high-trust,

00:43high-impact communities that drive real opportunity

00:47through a global network of more than 2,200 founders and investors.

00:53David focuses on turning international relationships

00:57into meaningful partnerships and sustainable deal flow.

01:03If you want to understand how community becomes a true business engine,

01:08this conversation is for you.

01:11David, so happy to have you. Thanks for joining us.

01:14Thank you, Mason. It's a pleasure to be here.

01:16So, what first opened your eyes to the difference between simply networking and truly orchestrating connection?

01:25So, I'll take everyone back a little bit, which is I grew up in a small town in Florida,

01:29and for the last 25 years, I've made New York City my home.

01:33So, the biggest thing that opens up my eyes is the city that I've lived in

01:37and how the more and more you're here, the more it feels like a small town.

01:41But there's no way when you randomly show up on a street corner,

01:43you see somebody you haven't seen in 10 years who just got back in touch with you.

01:47But that is a frequent occurrence here because it's a city full of connection.

01:53But that catalyst moment, you know, I was running a large-scale global arts foundation.

01:58I followed the prescribed script of how to network and talk to people who look like you,

02:03talk like you, or are in the same circles as you.

02:05And then after the housing bubble recession in 2008,

02:09Bernie Madoff-Ponsi's scheme and the world falling apart,

02:11it didn't work that way anymore.

02:14And I purposely chose to get out of my comfort zone,

02:17to go into rooms that I didn't belong in with causes that weren't apropos to what I was needing to

02:23focus on,

02:24like women's health, investing in Black and brown founders,

02:28local politics, mental health, climate change.

02:31And everywhere I went, I met a certain type of person who would now be called a connector.

02:37And I befriended the people who knew everyone in the room,

02:40who were the reason the room was formed,

02:42or they were the only person I needed to meet that day.

02:45Because what time would tell is, while I built authentic relationships,

02:50what I built was this cascading set of ecosystems, super nodes,

02:55connecting connectors to each other.

02:57And that's when I realized community was more important than network.

03:01And when you focus on the person giving them value,

03:04especially that type of person, you get an immense amount back.

03:07I love it.

03:09What's the biggest mistake that you see leaders make

03:12when they're trying to build community around their businesses?

03:16Well, the biggest mistake is that leaders don't often try to build community.

03:20They hire somebody they pay a very small amount to,

03:23to manage or build their community.

03:25When in the end, leaders need to talk to other leaders.

03:28And so there's a lot of times like-

03:30So are you referring to more specifically like online,

03:31or what about in person or-

03:34No, no, no, I've seen global CEOs walk into a room that was their room for their business,

03:40and they didn't know a soul in it because somebody on their team befriended everyone.

03:45That was the connector and really was the one everyone had built trust with.

03:50They wanted the access to the CEO, but the CEO hadn't spent time to build that trust.

03:55Their schedule was too busy.

03:57They didn't understand the importance of somebody because it wasn't related to the next deal,

04:01whatever it might be.

04:02And I've just seen countless mistakes where people don't value the people who feed their ecosystem

04:08as much as the person who closes the deal or gets them to show up and look really pretty

04:15at some conference or event.

04:17Community and business is different.

04:19That takes an investment of time on both sides.

04:22So what would you say to a CEO who has been convinced that they should hire this out to

04:29someone who's not paid very well and it's not a priority, or I'm not going to say it's not a

04:34priority, but the situation you've described, what would you say to a CEO who has made that decision

04:39and is currently living that air quote strategy right now?

04:45So I'll give you an example from a family office event I hosted a couple of years ago

04:49with a really amazing friend and his husband who was a private equity guy.

04:53This guy had done probably 30 of the known deals of companies we know on this planet.

05:00And he was very skeptical.

05:02He had had that mandate of everything was built to him.

05:05He knew what to do and his excellence was what made him and everyone around him a lot of.

05:10And I got him to pause because my world of relationship value and the soft currency of

05:15being curious and vulnerable seemed like a really poor move for anyone to focus on from

05:20his part.

05:21He was, shall we say, more than critical of me.

05:25And I don't really talk about who I know or who I interact with or what my world is,

05:29because if I were to name drop the people that I can WhatsApp or I've interacted with,

05:33most of those would be on people's wish lists.

05:36And for many of them, I consider them my friends or I consider the people who have their trust

05:41my close friends.

05:42So I sat with this guy who hadn't hired that person and I got him to boast about his top

05:48five deals.

05:49And I got him to talk about how, you know, there were really only two people he needed

05:53to nurture to get those five into fruition.

05:56And then I asked him if he was still in touch with both those people.

06:00And he paused and then he admitted that he hadn't been in touch with one of the two who

06:06had brought him the top deal of his life, the second best deal of his life and the fourth

06:11best deal.

06:12And I helped him realize that by not nurturing that relationship, even if there wasn't an

06:17outcome in front of him, he had missed out on the last, I think, 15 years of what that

06:22friendship could have kept bringing him because he wasn't valuing being in front of the people

06:29or even spending the time to nurture it.

06:32Because when he needed something, it was great to nurture that relationship.

06:35When the other person needed something or just to maintain it, it wasn't worth his time.

06:42And so from the quantification standpoint, if somebody brought you your first and second

06:46best deals, you should always stay in touch with them.

06:49But because those have been a few years prior, yeah, go ahead, please.

06:53That's very good advice because I have been on the other end of that where I have done

07:00plenty of really good things for lots of people and they show up when they need something.

07:05And I know exactly who those people are and exactly why they're calling.

07:11And it's not to say hi or how are you or is there anything I can do for you?

07:15That's a one-way street and I'm very aware of that and I allocate my time and my attention

07:23and my resources in other directions with other people because of it.

07:27And I don't think that I'm any different than most people.

07:30No, but people don't value relationships.

07:33You know, the mission of my community, Orchestrated Connecting, is to make relationship value

07:37valued.

07:38Because what I've seen time and time again is when you connect because it's opportunistic,

07:43you could put on the best face in the world and when you get something from it, you can

07:47even be a little bit grateful.

07:48But there's no strategy in building long term because you needed something as a creature

07:53of the moment.

07:54And people get away with that constantly, often because they have something of value, either

07:59a business people need, they have money that people need, or they have relationships they

08:04were often born into.

08:05But I've studied for the last 11 years now, running this community of connectors, which

08:10is now actually 2,600 globally.

08:13I've looked at what happens when we refocus on the relationships first.

08:18You know, and in my own startup, you know, which is called Soar Connected, a lot of it is

08:23about protecting us from takers.

08:25Like literally in one of the parts where we're building the code and the team that's building

08:29this laughed.

08:30But there's something called the block list, and the description of it is how to filter

08:34out assholes.

08:36So give me a tip or two about how to do that.

08:40So somebody comes up to you, maybe introduced by a friend or name dropping a friend, or you

08:45meet them at a conference, and they look good, they sound good, their bio looks good, and

08:51you have a rapport, you feel really heard, and they feel audacious enough to just tell you

08:55what they need.

08:57What most people will do is go, you want to meet Gina?

08:59She runs HR at this company I just met.

09:02You should meet her.

09:04For me, I say, well, I'd really love to support you.

09:07You know, would you honor me by giving me a paragraph on what, you know, why you want

09:11to meet this person and what you're after?

09:1390% of the time, the intentional person will get it to you, and the person who wanted something

09:18from you won't do it.

09:20They just want to be handed it.

09:21They don't want to do the work.

09:23And then, after I get the opt-in of, say, this affirmation person, Gina, I will ask the

09:28person, will you follow up?

09:30And again, I use the term honor very specifically.

09:32Will you honor the chain of connection so I know what happens from it?

09:37And if I've made one intro for somebody that my rule is a maximum of three before I know

09:42this, I see whether they will close that feedback loop or not.

09:46And if they don't do it, I don't associate with them again.

09:50I made it clear.

09:51I'm going to give you a value.

09:52The exchange to honor is to thank me and let me know what happens.

09:56And if you can't be bothered when I'm handing you a relationship I put months, years, or decades

10:01into, then you're not honorable back, which is how I need to filter or relegate you out.

10:10And so many people just aren't intentional with what they ask.

10:13They just want to be passed on to the opportunity around you, besides you, through you.

10:20If you actually feel they focus on you, then they'll respect and hear you first.

10:25And the best one of this, and this is the vet to get into my network, and I probably shouldn't

10:30say this in a public setting, but I do, but my world is to only bring in natural givers.

10:34So I will sit on every call I do.

10:36I sometimes do hundreds within a quarter to bring people into my community, and I offer

10:41them something.

10:43A lot of people are really grateful.

10:44They feel heard.

10:45It's really nice.

10:46But the only ones I let in sit back uncomfortably, and they say to me, how can I help you?

10:54Or are there other people you know that I can help?

10:57Because a natural giver is uncomfortable being given to first, and a taker or a slightly grateful

11:03taker thinks they deserve it.

11:06The people who deserve it are the people like you or me who are those natural givers, and

11:11offer first without an expectation.

11:13And my work has been, and my book is about how to put the guardrails up, how to look at

11:18the patterns.

11:19And when you see those people coming, what I would say is now I've made clear in my life,

11:23they can't keep coming.

11:25And if they do, then I will take extra steps to make sure they can't come to the people

11:30that I trust, because they have proven time and time again, they do not value what you

11:36give, they only value to take what you know.

11:39And this is obviously your wheelhouse, but I suspect that someone who is authentically and

11:45truly a giver and is doing things for the right reasons, you hate to say it, but they

11:52may be so few and far in between that when you're genuinely like that, and there are so

11:57many others that aren't, it makes it real easy to stand out in a positive way for the right

12:01reasons.

12:03100%, Mason.

12:04And the rule I made for my network 11 years ago, which is the same to this day, is besides

12:09being a connector and what we would call an action-oriented natural giver, you literally

12:14have to be somebody I or somebody in my network would leave my children with, or you cannot

12:20make an intro to me.

12:21And I had someone, and I can't mention who, because it's an ongoing issue, but I agreed

12:28to take a call with, I was super clear that I couldn't help them with the project, they

12:32jumped on the phone, they pitched me in four minutes about how I should help them fill

12:36everything they need with celebrities and wealth holders for something they're doing.

12:41And I, after 15 minutes, I extricated myself.

12:45I think they're probably aware they didn't handle it right, because I had said, I cannot

12:49spend my time to fill something that benefits you in another city where I don't live.

12:55And the guy who introduced me to this person profoundly apologized, took her off of his

13:02lists, said that he would not engage with this person again, and asked if he could make

13:06it up to me in any way, because he knew he had wasted 15 minutes of my time and broken

13:11my trust, because I had been clear about the intentions.

13:14She had been clear and misled him and me.

13:19But it goes further, because then this person is now starting to reach out to people that

13:24I had mentioned I could possibly reach out to as if I endorsed it.

13:30And so, since I do have a world of very privileged private people, if I say, hey, this person is

13:37reaching out, I wouldn't leave my kids with them.

13:41Who would you talk to if somebody said that?

13:43You would relegate them as well, and we need to encourage positive behavior in how people

13:48learn that taking is not the option, because it is a norm, but people don't understand the

13:53strategy behind building the trust first and asking second, because then it can stay

13:58relational, even when transaction occurs.

14:02So, how can an executive tell whether their network is actually generating value versus just

14:08spinning their wheels?

14:10You know, when you go on vacation and you think your inbox is going to be completely

14:15full, and then in the next few days it just empties out, because you have to generate the

14:21excitement to come back to you?

14:23This is what happens to me even when I have, you know, a very nice spring break week with

14:28my kids like I have coming up.

14:31But when you build an authentic network, there is a respect for your time.

14:36When you have an employee base for which you've actually given them the strategy for what you're

14:41doing, not just the necessity of what has to be done.

14:44When you're not measuring somebody based on performance metrics, or as I've made clear for

14:48everyone who's ever worked with me, I've had to yell with a few, I've been like, listen,

14:53the medical world does not exist where you can set up a dentist or a doctor appointment

14:57at 7 a.m.

14:58You have to do it during working hours.

15:00So, health is more important than what I need.

15:02So, when you have to do something, go do it and tell me you have to do it.

15:06And I've had so many people shocked because most of the people in their organization have

15:10judged them for like going to get a root canal at 2 p.m.

15:14because they needed to work that day.

15:16When they, hypocritically, would take the entire day off as a manager or a CEO for their own

15:22aforementioned root canal.

15:25So, when you get to the human part of it, when you get to the fact that you can have

15:29a

15:29conversation that builds trust, you can have interactions that are not simply based on

15:34metrics, what people do is they feel like they're part of a community, even if it is

15:39a worked community.

15:41People feel like they're going to be valued for what they give.

15:44And when you actually create that elevation, not just of self, but of a network, of a

15:49business, the performance in every metric from everyone who does this as a career coach or

15:54a workforce transformation coach, everyone says when everyone feels more engaged and more

15:59heard and more seen, there's better innovation, better outcome.

16:02And we still don't get it because we think the industrial mindset of do your job better than

16:07somebody else and keep your job and execute works.

16:11And now AI and everything is going to replace anything that would be an automated type of

16:17job.

16:18And the jobs that are going to thrive and excel are those that necessitate people, interaction,

16:25trust, strategy, things that technology could augment but not replace.

16:30So many leaders say that they value relationships, but their calendars tell a very different story.

16:36What practical shifts can they make to prioritize meaningful connection without losing productivity?

16:43Any leader I know, their business is based on a series of relationships and introductions

16:48made for them.

16:49They might be really great at building or scaling their company, but somebody got them to their

16:53first investor.

16:54Somebody got them to their first client.

16:56Somebody convinced them to join a board and sponsor like a cancer walk.

17:01If you don't put at least a quarter of your time into the relationships you have and those

17:07that could develop, then when you need something, you won't have developed it.

17:12So it is simply a choice for how you manage your time.

17:16I get criticized by those who look at my organization all the time that I spend too much time helping

17:21people.

17:23It's just the nature of it.

17:24And so my startup, we're generously hosted by Microsoft.

17:27We finished the second round of what they give for free hosting.

17:31They changed their rules justifiably to be, you have to be ventured back by a certain group

17:35of people to get the next time.

17:37Okay.

17:38And I shook a tree.

17:39I shook actually 11 trees.

17:41And my startup went from maybe having to raise more money or shift a lot of resources to

17:48having $250,000 a year for the next two years for that support.

17:54Because I built relationships with people without an agenda who happened to be in similar

17:59spaces with interests that I have.

18:01And I had helped them in the past.

18:03So when I came calling, a high school friend, a friend who's formerly Microsoft, who I've

18:08introduced to another professor, talked about purpose, to a VC based in Israel, who I've

18:13just been helping with a few introductions to help her.

18:16All those people took the call because I had offered value without an ask.

18:20And when I needed an instant value, I already had the people who took the call.

18:26So if you want to talk about a waste of time, try going after something when you need it.

18:31You want to talk about a profound use of time, understand and build the ecosystem that

18:36you need before you do.

18:38Therefore, the ROI is much more instantaneous.

18:41There's less waste and there's more ongoing opportunity because you prioritize relationships

18:47in an ongoing way, not in an opportunistic way.

18:51I'm not positive if this quote is attributed to the wrong correctly.

18:55But I think it was Mark Twain that said, when you need a friend, it's too late to make one.

18:59Yeah.

19:02We went through this thing called COVID, Mason, and everyone who built relationships or could

19:06build them thrived.

19:08And everyone who had relationships that were circumstantial were isolated and alone.

19:14And now we're back to the similar habits of going, well, why don't people get me?

19:18I talked to them for the last half an hour at a conference.

19:21Didn't they get me?

19:22Can't they give me something?

19:23We live in a world where we feel that we have to take first.

19:27And when you would shift that mindset and you just strategically look at, who do I respond

19:33to?

19:33Who can I give to?

19:34Who can I build trust with first?

19:36You have to do this intelligently.

19:38You cannot make friends with everyone you meet.

19:40But if you start to develop a different type of purpose-driven compass, then eventually

19:45you build something like what I built, where I grew up as a college professor's kid with

19:50no real relationships to having a global network where, you know, for an event in London, I'm

19:55inviting an internationally known human rights celebrity by WhatsAppping her to go to my billionaire

20:02friend's event with royalty.

20:03I'm not going, but I think they should meet.

20:06So I sent a WhatsApp.

20:08Like, that is power, but it's power that comes from understanding people first, not getting

20:15something out of them.

20:16So obviously you talked about the huge network that you've built.

20:19What were the earliest steps that you took to create trust at that level?

20:24You know, I didn't do this as well years ago as I might sound now, you know, like when

20:29you write a book about it and you speak about all this time, like you become at least a little

20:34bit more eloquent.

20:35But at that time, I really interested in other people.

20:38And I've gone through things in my life from nearly dying when I was 12, from a sickness

20:43to having panic attacks.

20:45Last year I lost my father and I just learned to not really care about what somebody's reaction

20:52back when I'm vulnerable is.

20:53Even in a business context and by being curious and by being vulnerable and literally just

20:59being as real as I can be, I ended up building trust with people who trusted me enough to

21:06tell me what they needed.

21:08And before I built a community and had a bestselling book, a funded startup and all these other

21:14things, like I was this guy like walking around New York going like, Mason, that thing you

21:19do, like you should talk to Jerry.

21:20He does something like that thing you do.

21:22I heard both of you.

21:23Would you both take the call?

21:25And I just kept doing it.

21:27And not everyone's a connector.

21:28This is not something that everyone can learn it.

21:31People may not do it to the extent that I are the people who are better than me at it

21:35doing my network.

21:36But the data just shows, right?

21:39We did this by co-author Noah Askin.

21:41I did a chapter on curiosity and he dug into the data that a very tenured professor friend

21:47had done around curiosity.

21:50Can you guess in any, say, 10 interactions at a conference, how many people express any

21:56curiosity to you when you meet them?

21:59Out of 10?

22:01Are you talking general or me personally?

22:03You.

22:04Just you.

22:04Like you at a conference.

22:06You're saying if I talk to 10 people randomly at a conference, what people genuinely have

22:10curiosity in me or what I do?

22:13Correct.

22:14Give me a little bit more.

22:15What type of conference?

22:16Business conference?

22:18Are we there?

22:19Let's say it's a conference on the future of work for which you were a panelist on day

22:25two and there are 2,000 people.

22:27They're all talking about excellence, careers, workforce transition, automation, AI, what the

22:33future will be.

22:34Something that's maybe like directly in your wheelhouse.

22:37Wow.

22:38I was, quote, under this example, I was on the panel.

22:42Yeah.

22:43You were on the agenda.

22:44And there's 2,000 people in the room.

22:45There might be maybe 10 that would come up and ask questions afterwards.

22:49Yeah.

22:49And so what the stat that we found was out of every 10 you talk to, three will ask you

22:56a single question of substance back to you when you express curiosity to them.

23:00Meaning everyone is going to these conferences attempting to meet somebody to elevate their

23:04life and 70% of them are doing it wrong.

23:10They aren't even engaging to engage with the people they're trying to meet.

23:14They're just engaging to impress the people to maybe get that right business card or hand

23:19out the right card still.

23:22And three out of every 10, when I say an event, as I just did at a family office conference

23:27this past Tuesday in New York, people asked me where I've been for the last couple of

23:31months.

23:31And I said, well, my dad was in hospice.

23:34He passed December 1st.

23:35I spent a large amount of time in Florida with him.

23:38My business, a lot of it fell to the wayside.

23:40I'm still focused on my startup and I'm just starting to get back.

23:44And I said this to people I know who gave me hugs and checked in.

23:47I said this to strangers, three out of 10 said, I'm really sorry you lost your dad.

23:52I lost my mom last year.

23:55I, and the other 70%, I talked to probably 30 people were like, well, can I tell you a

24:00little bit about my, my AI company?

24:02You know, my, my, so like they literally glossed over it.

24:05Like somebody saying their dad died was enough of a conversation stopper either to run for the

24:10hills or to just pause as a human to go, I live in fear of what happens with my parents

24:16every single day, or here's what happened to me.

24:20And I will tell you the a hundred percent of people who paused, they were the people I

24:26was supposed to meet.

24:28So they were the ones that demonstrated value back humanity back.

24:33I'm going to tell you a story that you just triggered a memory for me.

24:38I worked for a national sales trainer right out of college and I was in my early 20s.

24:42So early career professional and Brian Tracy was coming to speak in St. Louis and he had

24:48a room pre-sold for hundreds of people to come listen to him, talk on time management and things

24:53like that.

24:54And one of my previous mentors was personal friends with him, picked him up at the airport.

24:59So Mason, would you like to join us for lunch?

25:02I'm like, oh yeah, absolutely.

25:04And I'm a fan of Brian Tracy.

25:06I've met him twice.

25:07That was the first time.

25:08But anyway, we sat down for lunch and I introduced myself and he literally, he talked about practicing

25:16what you preach.

25:17He put his hand on his chin like this, looked directly at me and said, so Mason, tell me

25:22about yourself.

25:23How did you get into this line of work?

25:24And I'm like, I remember this.

25:26We're talking over 30 years ago.

25:29So I'm like, I'd be happy to tell you, I said, but in all, with all due respect, I said,

25:33I'm

25:33here to learn as much as I can from you.

25:35I already know about me.

25:36Tell him like, I I'm here to listen and learn, but you know, I went ahead and gave, gave a

25:41little bit, but the gentleman who picked him up was a guy by the name of John Houser.

25:44And John's since passed away, but he was a world-class human and very, very type A IBM, former

25:51IBM executive.

25:52So white shirt, blue shirt, conservative tie, that dude dressed all the time, that guy,

25:58corporate guy.

26:00And he said, once they picked Brian up at the airport, they started talking and they're

26:04hustling and bustling and they're getting all into the conversation.

26:07And there were a couple of guys with them.

26:08Next thing you know, where's Brian?

26:09They were so into the conversation.

26:11He's over there helping some lady with her luggage.

26:14No one's watching.

26:15No one.

26:15He wasn't under the microscope.

26:16There wasn't cameras around.

26:17This wasn't social media time.

26:19He was just aware of others in need.

26:22In his, in his presence, he was very aware of the things that were going on around him.

26:26And that guy practiced what he preached.

26:28And I will never forget that stuff.

26:29That's stuff that you, that, that happens when no one's looking and that other people

26:35don't know about.

26:35And I wouldn't know about if I didn't experience it, or I wasn't friends with people who were

26:39right there when it happened.

26:40But Brian Tracy was not out promoting himself saying, oh, you should do this.

26:43You should do that.

26:44He just was a giving kind person that was aware and it wasn't about him.

26:49I love that.

26:51That, you know, leading by example without an ego attached to it.

26:55Like, especially when you talk about leaders and especially like the world of like, well,

26:59who's selling the best?

27:01Like it, it all comes down to like, do you want your life to be based on numbers or do

27:06you want your life to be purposeful and valuable?

27:09Because I've seen now, like just the more you put in your right now, I'm sitting here

27:14flashing back to 30 plus years ago, might be closer to 35.

27:16But anyway, like I remember him turning sideways and said, so Mason, tell me about yourself.

27:21Like, like I'm a 20 something kid out of college.

27:26My first real professional sales job.

27:28Now, granted, it was a great one, but I'm here to learn from this guy.

27:31It's a privilege to be the table of this guy.

27:34And he is going to be speaking the next day to a seminar packed full, sold out room, hundreds

27:39of people that paid hundreds of dollars.

27:42Who's who in St. Louis was there.

27:44And this guy sitting here asking me about myself.

27:47I'm like, couldn't believe it.

27:49Still don't.

27:49If you can't give somebody your 100% focus, you're not going to get 100% back from them.

27:54How, in your opinion, how should a founder think about curating their community differently

28:00at seed stage versus something like growth stage, if at all?

28:05Yeah.

28:06So you get to seed stage as a founder, right?

28:09You've proven your concept.

28:10You're now getting some serious money and you've probably done it right to build enough

28:15of a proof and enough of the potential.

28:18And then everything becomes, can you execute your vision so you can raise more money so you

28:22don't die as a company?

28:24Like, there's just these prescribed rounds in the world of founders where the closer

28:29you get to it, the further you are from the next one.

28:32And most people at every stage fail to ask for advice.

28:38They just want to pitch what they're doing, knowing that the numbers are against them.

28:43And so many friends at that level who haven't gotten to, say, a series B or a series C, even

28:49past the series A that would come after seed.

28:53Everything is relationship-driven whatever level you're in.

28:56And when you look back at the success of people who've got through it, who IPO'd, who sold,

29:01or who learned, unfortunately, in the American way of failing and then starting again, you

29:07see these as a ripple of relationships that you cannot visualize.

29:11So the mistake made at any level is focusing on only the people that you need right in front

29:16of you, as opposed to focusing on the people you will need down the line.

29:22So I used to work for a major, major billionaire family office.

29:26I ran a film company for them.

29:28And I'm still friends with some of the family.

29:30And I was sitting with one of them about a half year ago as I was raising my pre-seed

29:36round.

29:36And they asked to look at the tech and asked if they could send it on to their family

29:40office.

29:41And I said to my friend, this isn't what you guys would invest in yet.

29:45I have to prove a lot more until I'd be ready to respect your time.

29:48So I'll come back if I think I'm ready.

29:52But here's where I am.

29:55Most people for this specific billionaire would salivate over the thought of getting something

30:00in their family office.

30:01In my world, I said, this isn't right for you.

30:04And I respected what I know of them.

30:07And by saying no to an offer to pitch, they turned around and they said, well, there are

30:14actually a couple friends of ours who invest a little bit earlier.

30:17We often follow on to you want to meet them.

30:20And now I'm in conversations towards what will be my seed round with a few of these people

30:25because of who introduced me based on trust.

30:27And further than that, I have some people, very big funds and the rest in the world of

30:34venture or family office.

30:35They wouldn't touch my startup until I've proven millions in revenue.

30:39But I've got them excited about what the potential of what's happening.

30:43And as I keep them up to date, they're giving me ideas.

30:46And then when I'm able to call them up, as I am actually this week, tomorrow, to show

30:51what one of their ideas has become in my tech, I'm not pitching them.

30:56I'm showing that I heard them.

30:58Something they asked for has value.

31:00And you can be sure when I go out for that round, if I get there, there's no barrier or

31:06limit to me being able to reach this person.

31:10I don't have to go through their secretary.

31:12I have to say to them, you thought you took me to the best hot and sour soup in New

31:16York.

31:17You were wrong.

31:18The best one is not in Chinatown.

31:20It's in the West Village.

31:21And I'm going to take you and I'm going to show you my tech.

31:24And then you can tell me if you think I'm ready for you.

31:27It's a different mindset, right?

31:28There's something you said.

31:29Different mindset.

31:31Go ahead.

31:31Yeah.

31:31This is your wheelhouse, but for the benefit of those listening, you talked about asking

31:36people for advice.

31:38For those folks that are listening, because I have been on the receiving end of some of

31:41those questions.

31:43Oh, can I take your time to get some advice from you?

31:47Sure.

31:48Happy to help and give when asked.

31:52But I don't think I'm alone here.

31:55But one of my biggest frustrations is dealing with, and I'm going to spell this out, A-S-K-H

32:00-O-L-E-S.

32:02Ask holes.

32:03Yeah.

32:03Those are the folks that will take your time and ask for your advice and ask for your opinions

32:07and they don't do anything with it.

32:10They do what they were going to do anyway.

32:12Or they took that euphemism of when you want money, ask for advice, and they lied to the person

32:17about taking their time when really they just want to pitch them.

32:22And in my world, right?

32:24So like my tech, what I wanted to solve, which would be really incredible for your world and

32:29the world of everyone who listens to you, everything has to move from cold calls to warm

32:34interests.

32:34The amount of robocalls or spam, like literally when somebody calls me asking about my old

32:39ex-wife's apartment that I don't have the right to sell, I block them.

32:43But then I actually block the entire real estate firm because they cold called me.

32:47I think that's invasive.

32:49Whereas a different, yeah, sorry, go ahead.

32:52So when you're talking about things like automation and things like that, what systems do you use

32:57to make introductions at scale while still keeping them personal and high quality?

33:01Because a lot of people are screwing that up.

33:03This is why I'm building SoarConnect.

33:05Because I could not find a startup technology or anything that kept my data private, gave me

33:13relationship intelligence and helped teach me or others what, how to connect with permission

33:19as opposed to opportunity.

33:21Same stuff we've been talking about.

33:23Because the problem, right, is we live in a world where we think that a LinkedIn connection,

33:28a first degree is an actual strong connection.

33:32Or a Facebook friend or an Instagram follower, or like I just posted something on LinkedIn and

33:38I have thousands and thousands of people reviewing it, replying it.

33:41It doesn't mean I have value of those people.

33:43It just means they read something in an algorithm maybe for long enough to count as a data point.

33:48A trusted relationship is where you put time in.

33:51It's where you have longevity.

33:52It's where when we both finish this podcast, if our phones have been blowing up,

33:56who are the people who you get back to those texts first and you ignore the others for the next

34:01hour?

34:02So I wanted to study that and build a system for everyone that then when you take the world,

34:06if you can find out anything about anyone, it only matters if the person can introduce you to them

34:12or you can build a chain of connections.

34:15So I have built a personal CRM, ask-based technology.

34:18There can be no ask holes in it because you can only ask to the people you've spent time with

34:24and that you trust.

34:25You can't make a new contact like social media.

34:29But now that we are connected and we have emailed, if you at some point,

34:33when my tech goes hopefully to a large scale, you go,

34:37you seem to be connected to this person.

34:39The tech has shown me that you have connections that could benefit me.

34:43Here's what I need.

34:44Would you respect my time since I gave some to you?

34:48And the answer would be, of course, because we've built a rapport.

34:51We've been in touch.

34:52The intelligence in which you approach this podcast and the questions was of greater depth than the last 10 that

34:58I've done combined.

35:00And therefore, why wouldn't I turn that respect back to say,

35:03hey, this guy did a podcast with me.

35:05This is why he needs to talk to you.

35:07Would you do it?

35:08But the gate is, you don't know who I know.

35:12You don't know who I have trust with.

35:15Therefore, the thought was build an ecosystem tech that is based on individual trust, one person to one person.

35:23And this is why I decided in my mid 40s to raise so far a million one and launch a

35:29startup because I could not find anything that either took my data,

35:34which I did not want to give or kept giving me a lot of false leads,

35:39including somebody that I have blocked from my life because of how they were to me.

35:44And some other tech out there, some competitor kept suggesting we should reconnect.

35:49So how can leaders measure the health of their community beyond just revenue metrics?

35:55You know, it's interesting because there's a lot of there's a lot of like social emotional technology.

36:00There's a lot of really great mental health startups in the workplace.

36:04In the end, right, it's so it's such an individual need.

36:08Like, how do you measure the health of the people around you?

36:11Like, you can only measure the health of the people around you by being around them.

36:16You can only do that by by seeing not who shows up on a Saturday at 8 a.m.

36:21because they feel compelled to.

36:22But how do you create a system and an openness, a forum to share ideas, to recognize not just the

36:29leader in each department,

36:31but the people who are performing well?

36:33And you don't do it because it's Karen's birthday or Jeffrey just had his thousandth sale.

36:38Like, somebody's being thanked or even getting a bonus when they perform well.

36:43That's that's incredible for business.

36:46But what if you missed the fact that Jeffrey did that while ignoring the fact his dad was sick for

36:52two months?

36:53And what would the performance have been if you simply recognized that or knew he was going through that?

36:59And this is why this ongoing is different than the course correction.

37:04It's a different way to lead.

37:06You know, when I ran a global foundation with boards in four countries and staff across different parts of the

37:11world,

37:12I knew what everyone was going through because I asked them.

37:16I didn't make it in every conversation, but there was no like, oh, happy Monday.

37:21Can you do these things?

37:22And I would share the same.

37:25And then there would be no surprise when I needed more from them that they had given more before I

37:31asked because they felt they were part of something greater.

37:34And this is a different way to lead.

37:36A lot of people do it really well.

37:39And a lot of people work in that old school way as per your question of, well, you know, my

37:44sales team isn't performing well.

37:46These people aren't performing well.

37:47My friend's been in charge of the sales department for years.

37:50Why aren't they performing well?

37:51And usually the problem is their friend sucks, but it's their friend.

37:55And because they have the emotion tied to it, they're failing to see that everyone else has picked up the

38:00slack.

38:00And you can't have that without humanity, without conversation, without people feeling they could trust you to say, you know,

38:07we really liked our sales lead, Brian.

38:10But once Mason came in, he showed us a few techniques that actually got us to be more high performance,

38:15but we've not been able to execute them because the team leader wants things done the old way.

38:23And it just when you don't have the ability to trust to have a dialogue, then you make assumptions.

38:28When you make assumptions, you make mistakes, and then you get judged on this in-between that isn't about being

38:35purposeful or transparent for the outcomes you want and what it will take to get.

38:39So I have learned a ton from our conversation today.

38:45Lots of reminders, lots of insights, and I don't want to monopolize your time.

38:50So just two more questions.

38:52All right.

38:52What habits or rituals have you personally developed to stay intentional about connection as your network has grown?

39:00So the primary rule, which is my one rule to maintain membership in my organization for which there's no paid

39:07membership, it's only based on action, it's to honor the chain of connections.

39:11I've studied this for years.

39:14In the end, there's a catalyst, which is the connector.

39:17From that, there is a chain of two to five more people to get to outcome.

39:23And most people thank the person who got them the outcome.

39:27In my practice, I thank everyone who was part of that chain, even if they were peripheral in my life.

39:34And I express gratitude to each of them separately and collectively for the value they gave me.

39:39And that practice gives you data, it builds community, and you look really good.

39:46Because think about the number of times, say, this year, Mason, somebody's called you up and said, I just wanted

39:51to thank you for something.

39:53I could count them on one hand.

39:55Isn't that sad?

39:56Right?

39:56And how many people have you helped that probably deserve that thing?

40:00A lot more than people on one hand.

40:02So, in my world, right, I call up X person that everyone else would know, like a friend of mine

40:08who's a former WNBA star.

40:09And I left her a message the other day, and the message said, you know, my Facebook, my phone showed

40:16up with a photo of the flowers that you bought me on the day we celebrated my dad's life back

40:21home in Florida.

40:22And I just wanted to say thank you because you took a step above anyone else I ever know for

40:27just making me remember and smile more about that day when we all grieved my dad.

40:31Yeah, that's it.

40:32That's all I said, right?

40:33I've said this twice now, but she needed to hear it again because she needed to hear it.

40:39Saying thank you once isn't enough, but it's also incredibly strategic.

40:44Because when you help people who have demonstrated generosity to you, and then you don't ask anything, they want you

40:50to ask them something more.

40:52They want to connect because we so rarely see the value we give or share that value back.

40:59And so people want to understand what they can do, like a simple practical step.

41:03Look at the trajectory of your life and look at the people who are a catalyst in it and write

41:08down.

41:09Mason did this for me here.

41:11I met Mason through my friend Brian, who I met through my ex-wife, Tricia.

41:17And I'm going to thank them all because this happened to me because of people who saw value in me

41:25and passed on that sacred relationship trust.

41:28If you do that for the few times in your life that you say something substantial, you'll understand you have

41:34a bigger, purposeful community around you, and you'll see what happens.

41:39What happens, holistically, values-driven, but also you'll just see what happens opportunistically from recognizing generosity with gratitude and daring

41:49to be curious and vulnerable about how you can help the other person with no expectation they'll do anything else

41:55for you again.

41:57That is great advice.

41:59So if people want to know more about you and your work and your organization, what's the best way for

42:04them to connect and learn more?

42:06So I've made myself pretty findable online.

42:09Like one of my emails that goes straight to my phone is on my website.

42:12But my world, right, the community is orchestrating connection.

42:16And that's the book.

42:18The startup is Soar Connect.

42:19But as of a few hours from us recording this, which means it will happen before we go live to

42:25the world, davidholman.com is coming back into existence.

42:29Because I made this mistake of running around in all these rabbit holes of I have a book, I have

42:34a startup, I have a speaking series of all these things.

42:37And I got rid of what I started, which was looking at the empire of me.

42:42So now it's all there.

42:43It's being edited as we speak.

42:45But I always want to connect with people who are connectors.

42:48I'm really passionate about people who care about this world of startups or speaking about the book.

42:53But in the end, like I care about people who want to have a bigger impact than they have now.

42:58And if I can empower them by getting them to the right people who are never me but are somebody

43:03else, then I do my job on this planet.

43:07Because I have one sacred job for everything I've built with this global network and big names and speaking gigs

43:13and all of that.

43:14Which is I spend most of my life going, you don't need to talk to me, you need to talk

43:19to Linda.

43:20I just do it right because I've developed a way to care more about what I hear from others than

43:26what I need.

43:28And it took a little bit of getting over what I need in this moment because I have needs too.

43:33But it's so purposeful and profound.

43:35And my kids see this as a job now to be a connector, which is the proudest moment I have

43:42of all of it.

43:43It has been an absolute pleasure.

43:45And you have an open invitation to come back anytime.

43:48I've enjoyed every minute of it.

43:49And I hope those watching and listening have enjoyed it as much as I have.

43:52Thanks so much for being on today.

43:54Of course.

43:54Thank you for having me.

The Power of Orchestrating Connection | How Authentic Communities Drive Business Growth

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