- 7 hours ago
First broadcast 23rd November 2007.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Jimmy Carr
Dara Ó Briain
Doon Mackichan
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Jimmy Carr
Dara Ó Briain
Doon Mackichan
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, and indeed goodbye from QI, where tonight the end is nigh.
00:11For an exciting photo finish, I'm joined by the four jockeys of the apocalypse, and they are Mr. Jimmy Carr,
00:21Mr. Darrell O'Brien,
00:26Miss June McKicken,
00:31and Master Alan Davies.
00:39Before we plunge up to our elbows in the seven bowls of wrath, let me remind you about our regular
00:46elephant in the room bonus.
00:50There are extra points for spotting any pachyderms on my person this evening.
00:55But now, let's hear how you all intend to end it all.
00:59And Dara goes...
01:03And Jimmy goes...
01:08And Dune goes...
01:15And Alan goes...
01:22And Alan goes...
01:31Well, he lived the same way from the bud.
01:31And now he
01:33Oh fuck?
01:34Go...
01:35And it says...
01:48Great.
01:52Thank you, Alan.
01:59Superb. I think I had to take you to the hand of the late, great Dudley Moore in your buzzer
02:03there.
02:03Now, that brings us to our final question.
02:06What were the last words of General Sedgwick in the Wilderness of Spotsylvania?
02:13He hasn't got a mouth, so there weren't any words at all, unless he wrote them down.
02:22In a convenient bubble that he carried around with him.
02:26Maybe in a little notebook of bubble-shaped things.
02:29I'll tell you that the year is 1864. What war was going on then?
02:32Franco-Prussian War.
02:34That was a tiny bit later.
02:35The 100 years, 30 years, 25 years.
02:39The Civil, American Civil War.
02:40The American Civil War.
02:41The American Civil War.
02:42So we're talking about...
02:43The American Civil War.
02:43Well done!
02:45No!
02:46No!
02:47No!
02:49You bastard!
02:52Ah, thank you for cutting me off.
02:53The American Civil War.
02:55It is the American Civil War. That was not, however, the question.
02:58Spotsylvania is near to Pennsylvania.
03:01It's Virginia, in fact, in the state of Virginia.
03:03He was actually with 100,000 of his own men.
03:06He was a part of the Union, i.e. the Yankee army, facing 52,000 Confederate troops.
03:12Oh!
03:12And they were just getting ready for the battle.
03:15And there were snipers.
03:16Was he saying, easy?
03:19It was almost that equivalent.
03:20It was hubris.
03:21It was one of the most extraordinary last words ever spoken.
03:23This could be over in five minutes.
03:25We'll be back in time for D'Lo and Odeon.
03:27All right.
03:28Let me tell you now that you could have played your elephant cards.
03:31Oh.
03:31Well, I will then.
03:32Nah.
03:32Too late.
03:33He actually said, why are you dodging like this?
03:38They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.
03:42And he was shot under the left eye and fell down dead without finishing the word distance.
03:48Oh!
03:48You'd be annoyed, wouldn't you?
03:49You'd be livid.
03:50You'd be livid.
03:51Shot in the eye?
03:52That's annoying to start with.
03:53Hey!
03:53And you look a fool.
03:55Exactly.
03:56Cheered up the troops though, I'd imagine.
03:57I'd imagine they found that...
03:58They probably found that irony quite funny as that.
04:01Troops will.
04:02They have that sort of sense of humor.
04:03I do, don't they?
04:04Bless them.
04:04The lower orders.
04:05Yeah.
04:07He was known as Uncle John.
04:09He was very popular.
04:10Ulysses S. Grant mourned his death, said it was worse than the loss of a division.
04:14He was the highest ranking union officer of any kind to die in the war.
04:18Do you think famous last words are accurate?
04:20Because I think they lie a lot of the time.
04:21It's always something incredibly witty.
04:24Like, you know, dying, that's the last thing I shall do.
04:26Whereas, in fact, I imagine they said that about four days before they died.
04:29And the last thing they said was,
04:30Nurse!
04:32Nurse is happening again, I'm scared!
04:35You're probably right.
04:37No one got either their elephant point.
04:39It may not be the only elephant bonus this game.
04:42I think you'd spent your elephant bonus at the very start.
04:44Well, that's true.
04:45There are extra points if you can tell me.
04:47I mentioned Ulysses S. Grant, the great general of the Union Army.
04:50What did the S stand for?
04:52Sausage.
04:54I'd so like to tell you that that was...
04:57Simon.
04:57Stephen.
04:58Stephanie.
04:59Stephen Simone.
05:00Spanky.
05:02Spanky Grant.
05:03Sugar...
05:04Sugar tits.
05:05Sugar tits.
05:08You can see, I mean, the S works.
05:09Sugar tits didn't work at all.
05:11Follow me, man.
05:13All right, sugar tits.
05:14Yeah, I know.
05:15No, actually, the S in Ulysses S. Grant stood for nothing at all.
05:19Nothing at all.
05:19S was just his middle name.
05:21Now, what use can you think of for a cat in a box at the end of a parachute?
05:29Jimmy.
05:30It could serve as an example to other naughty cats.
05:36That'd be my first thought on that.
05:39It'd be a hell of a way to finish off a children's party, wouldn't it?
05:43What's that?
05:44What's that?
05:44What's that?
05:44Oh, oh no, it hasn't opened.
05:47The last one was...
05:48Yeah.
05:50So you pull your cord, nothing happens.
05:52You pull your safety cord, nothing happens.
05:55You're allowed to take the cat out for your last few minutes.
05:58Stress-relieving boon to your dying minutes.
06:03Oh!
06:04Oh, there it goes.
06:06Bless.
06:07Is there a part of the world that is in dire need of cats?
06:10There was between 1959 and 1961, and it was a combined British and World Health Organization.
06:16Oh!
06:17Oh, some sort of mouse epidemic.
06:19You're exactly on the right lines.
06:21In fact, it wasn't mice, but rats.
06:22Rats carry all kinds of diseases, and as vermin need to be controlled,
06:26and the best way of controlling them in some circumstances...
06:28The best way is a parachute cat in a box.
06:31It is?
06:32How do they get out of the box?
06:34Why don't you just drive up the board or whatever and just fire them out of a cannon?
06:38Because then their natural landing instinct would kick in.
06:43You put the other goggles on them to keep...
06:45Mad as this seems, there is a kind of awful logic behind why they had to be parachuted.
06:49Why in the country would there be a sudden shortage of cats?
06:52Lots of dogs.
06:56Someone put catnip on the border, and they're all gone.
07:00We're in Borneo, the Sarawak.
07:02Old women had swallowed flies.
07:07And we've done all these guys.
07:08The clue I'll give you, dichlorodiphenyl trichloroethane.
07:13Oh.
07:15DDT.
07:15DDT.
07:16Well done.
07:17Now you're getting there.
07:17Stuff to stop you having mozzie bites.
07:19Yes.
07:19It destroys mosquitoes.
07:21And it was sprayed in huge quantities over jungles in Sarawak and Borneo.
07:26And it killed all the mosquitoes.
07:27Killed.
07:28Very successful, but it also killed a lot of cockroaches.
07:31The cockroaches ate the DDT and were eaten by cats, which killed the cats.
07:36But a lot of the cats were dead in places that you can spray from the air with DDT.
07:40In other words, places you can't get a cat to in a little catmobile, for example.
07:45So, they dropped them in in boxes that had special springs.
07:48So when they landed, spring would open, the cat would bound out, and help itself to any passing rat.
07:54How showbiz is that?
07:59And all the rats would gather to go, what's this?
08:01What's this?
08:02What's this?
08:02What's this?
08:02Oh, shit, it's a cat.
08:04The cat has been terrified.
08:06The cat has surely shat in the box on its way down.
08:09I mean, come on.
08:11It's a bit traumatising.
08:12If you tried to take a cat in a basket to the vet, it's bad enough.
08:14Oh, they love going in the basket.
08:16I had to take mine once to the vet and make two of them, and they got out in the
08:19car.
08:21And I knew one would go out because I could see it on the back shelf, urinating.
08:29And the other one got on the dashboard in front of me and just went, ah!
08:39Get back in the box!
08:42I'll parachute you into Borneo if you're not careful.
08:46Do you want to go to Borneo?
08:48No, no.
08:48Get in your box.
08:52Oh, Lord.
08:53So, no, I can't imagine they'd take to it.
08:56No.
08:58So, there you have it.
08:59In 1959, the World Health Organization parachuted cats in crates into Borneo to tackle a plague of rats,
09:04accidentally caused by their campaign against malaria.
09:07What finally finished off the elderly in Great Yarmouth in 1960?
09:12Please tell me.
09:14This is the time.
09:17What a world it would be.
09:19Oh, it would be great.
09:19Like, once a year, just release an elephant into the streets of Great Yarmouth.
09:25And sell it a penis to the old.
09:30They would die of shock, wouldn't they?
09:32They'd die of compression, a lot of them.
09:36They did die of shock.
09:37Or at least one person died of shock, firstly.
09:40It was two rather sporty, shall we say, fellow members of the Hazelmere Home for the Elderly in Great Yarmouth.
09:48They saw a cat coming down at them.
09:50No, it was two who were responsible for the deaths.
09:53One was an 81-year-old woman who did a striptease.
10:00Presumably in the lounge.
10:02And one of the old people had a heart attack.
10:06And five others had to have medical attention, for sure.
10:09Did any of them have a stroke?
10:11Hooray!
10:12Hooray!
10:12Now, now.
10:18Well, this is Gladys Elton, which was her name, Gladys.
10:21She was responsible for the death of one of her fellow women.
10:24He wouldn't be alive now.
10:26This was 1960.
10:27Gladys has a real name.
10:28Her stripper named, like, Aurora or something.
10:31Another inmate, whose name was Harry Meadows, and he was 87, dressed up as Death, complete with scythe.
10:37And here, at the window, and tacked on it.
10:42Hello!
10:43Hello!
10:46And, er...
10:47Come in.
10:48He did what?
10:49And three further residents died as a result of this.
10:54Are you sure he isn't Death, and they just caught him?
10:57Maybe Death is a man called Harry Meadows.
11:00But, er...
11:01They never had a fancy dress party again.
11:03The following year, and we are indebted to, to Brewer's Book of Rogues, Villains and Eccentrics for this extraordinary information.
11:09The following year, they closed the Hazelmere home for the elderly down.
11:13What did they do to Gladys Elton?
11:15I would hope that they played the stripper at her funeral, anyway.
11:19Er...
11:20If nothing else.
11:21So, God bless her.
11:22That was Sir Gladys Elton.
11:24Er...
11:24And Harry Meadows.
11:25Now, what is pink, has pendulous breasts, gets sailors all excited, and tastes of prime beef?
11:31Yes.
11:32Was Princess Margaret buried at sea?
11:36Ah!
11:37Very good.
11:38Excellent.
11:39Any other thoughts?
11:40I thought it might be Gladys Elton, but...
11:42Oh!
11:42The crew!
11:46Never heard before you.
11:48Oh.
11:49The walrus.
11:50Whether you're in the right area.
11:52A manatee?
11:52Oh!
11:53Manatee is closer.
11:55Psteller's Sea Cow, which is the, er...
11:58Particular species of Serenia, of Dugong, manatee-like thing.
12:02Oh!
12:03Oh, isn't it beautiful.
12:05You can, you can see why sailors in Days of Yore thought they were mermaids.
12:10How long would you have to be at sea before you spotted that and went, oh, yeah, I'll do it,
12:13yeah.
12:15Lucky for one.
12:16That's actually a model, because it's one of those sad stories.
12:19Oh, they have models as well. That's a particularly good look.
12:38That's...
12:38It's delicious.
12:39Seven thousand pounds worth of meat you get off on a load.
12:43So people came from far and wide to Bering Island, where he had discovered them, and, er...
12:48Ate a lot.
12:49And the last one was 26 years after he had discovered it.
12:51So he, he has the distinction of being the first and last scientist to describe the animal.
12:55So it's really...
12:56If he hadn't described it as tasty...
12:58That was his big mistake.
12:59He said it was disgusting, didn't he?
13:01Now, what's the story, ladies and gentlemen, of the Emperor's New Thrones?
13:07Pfff!
13:09Pfff!
13:09So many.
13:10When you're on the spot...
13:11Yeah, I know.
13:12They go right out of your mind.
13:14I just keep...
13:14All I can think of is a penguin.
13:16That's what I...
13:18I've got the penguin on the chair, and I know it's not right.
13:23Ming.
13:24The Merciless.
13:25Ming the Merciless.
13:27I'm not sure he was an Emperor.
13:28I think he was.
13:28Was Jabba the Hutt an Emperor?
13:31Let's stay on Earth, can we?
13:33Just please.
13:35Er...
13:36Alright, so we...
13:36It's not, it's not Europe.
13:38It's not Europe.
13:39Europe.
13:39The.
13:40Africa.
13:40Asia.
13:41Yes, Africa.
13:42Ethiopia?
13:42Ethiopia is the right answer.
13:44Haile Selassie.
13:46Now, before Haile Selassie, there was an Emperor...
13:49Lowly Selassie.
13:52Oh, very good.
13:53No.
13:54Emperor Menelik.
13:55Oh, okay.
13:57Or Menelik.
13:58Possibly Menelik.
13:59Is that him?
14:00Yes, that's Menelik.
14:01Wow.
14:02Fine-looking gentleman.
14:03He lived from 1844 to 1913.
14:05But round about the 1890s, he was showing some people around Addis Ababa, the capital of Ethiopia,
14:12Stroke Abyssinia, as it was known.
14:14And...
14:14Well, he's Emperor Antorguide.
14:15Yes, he seems to have been.
14:16These were rather august visitors.
14:18And they noticed men dead hanging from trees.
14:21And they said, look, come on, have you not heard about this wonderful new invention?
14:26The electric chair.
14:27It's humane, it's quick.
14:29And he said, I shall order two of them.
14:31There was one tiny drawback.
14:34There was no electricity supply at all.
14:37There was no electricity supply at all.
14:38In the entire country.
14:39They had to pedal really...
14:41Did they execute people using only static?
14:45A rubber comb against their pullover.
14:47Quite petty theft.
14:48Oh, wow.
14:49Yeah, yeah.
14:50Is it me getting older, that I can't get out of a car or go to a lift or touch
14:54a tap in
14:55a hotel room without getting an electric shock?
14:56If you're very passionate.
14:57If you're grave, it was, as you get older, you become more metallic.
15:01You just...
15:02I don't know.
15:03Your bones turn to Mercury or something.
15:06It would be like an X-Men thing.
15:07You finally get your superpower just before you die.
15:09Maybe I'm turning into Ian McKellen, which I've long wanted to do.
15:14But some people say it's because of passion.
15:16Like when you meet, you know, the man, the woman of your dreams, you have an electric shock.
15:20Like Van de Graaff General.
15:21Sometimes, if I meet an attractive woman, I will taser her.
15:31Well, there we are, you see.
15:33So, we still haven't quite answered the question yet.
15:36He used them as thrones.
15:38He used one of them, anyway, as a throne.
15:40Did he stop becoming emperor when electricity finally came to Addis Abel?
15:45And when they eventually brought it, did they go,
15:47Big news, hope you're sitting down.
15:49No, wrong thing to say.
15:521896, they got electric power in Ethiopia.
15:55Now, in 1916, the fourth British Antarctic expedition was stranded on this island for over four months.
16:02What's it called?
16:03Yes.
16:05Guernsey.
16:08There's been a terrible mix-up there.
16:11And that is Guernsey.
16:12Which is quite a long way south, isn't it, Guernsey?
16:15But is it as far south as this island?
16:17You're saying that's wrong, then?
16:18It's not Guernsey, no.
16:19What a lovely effort.
16:21Yep.
16:21Is this the famous one where they got stranded for ages,
16:24and one of them had to go walking for about eight months?
16:27Shackleton went all the way, yes.
16:28Oh, is it the island of reluctant but inevitable homosexuality?
16:35I think it's that one.
16:36I think I recognise it.
16:38From a school trip that went horribly wrong.
16:42Lord of the Undone Flies.
16:49Oh!
16:50Hello.
16:50Is it called Elephant Island?
16:52Yes, it is!
16:54Well done!
16:57Very good!
16:59Well done!
17:02There is, he said it, there is an elephant in the room.
17:05Quite right.
17:05Partly because of its shape, that's sort of supposedly, I think, a trunk, isn't it?
17:08You can see an elephant there, if you draw the top left as its ear down there.
17:13No, you can't.
17:13No, no, no.
17:14No, you can't.
17:14No, you can't.
17:16It was Shackleton's lot who got stuck there,
17:18and Shackleton went off all the way to South Georgia to a whaling station,
17:21then came all the way back.
17:22It was an extraordinary, adventurous business.
17:25That lot.
17:25And there they were all waving, bless them.
17:27An extraordinary bunch.
17:28Very brave, very hardy, very foolish in many ways, these people.
17:32Very much like us.
17:33Yes, I like to think that.
17:36Elephant Island named partly for its shape, as I was saying,
17:38and partly for the fact there are a lot of elephant seals on it.
17:41There you are.
17:41The men called it Elephant Island.
17:44Eh?
17:44Do you see what they did?
17:45You can't blame them for descending to humour in that situation.
17:48Quite a few less elephant seals after they did.
17:51I imagine there were many fewer elephant seals.
17:55Yes.
17:55So...
17:57Oh, Stephen, really.
18:00Elephant Island, our second elephant in the room this week.
18:04What quite interesting object is at the very end of the earth?
18:10Telford Town Centre.
18:14I would argue about the interesting bit.
18:17At the bottom of Patagonia?
18:19It's right down there, yes.
18:21It's the southern pole of inaccessibility.
18:23Is it the off switch?
18:26To stop it spinning?
18:27Yeah.
18:28Well, I'll tell you what it is.
18:29It's most unusual.
18:31It's a bust.
18:32There's a bust.
18:33There's a bust.
18:33There's a bust.
18:33Worth going, then.
18:36In the sense not of a pair of breasts, but in the sense of a sort of head and shoulders
18:42and front bit of a human being.
18:44No, no, we didn't really think there was a big pair of bits.
18:46Yeah.
18:49It's a living 20th century person.
18:51Now, Jane.
18:51A man.
18:52Yeah.
18:53Stalin.
18:54Oh, the one before.
18:56Lenin.
18:57Vladimir Ilyich Lenin is there, right in the middle.
19:00It's just bizarre.
19:02This southern pole of inaccessibility is more remote and hard to reach than the geographical
19:06south pole.
19:07And in this very year, the destination was reached by a team of four Britons called Team
19:14N2I.
19:15Rory Sweet, Rupert Longston, Henry Cookson and Paul Landry.
19:18And we have one of this expedition in the audience.
19:22Oh.
19:23Is it Lenin?
19:24No.
19:26Mr. Rupert Longston is here.
19:27There he is.
19:28Ladies and gentlemen.
19:29Isn't that bizarre?
19:34Phenomenal.
19:36How far did you actually have to travel?
19:38There was no mechanical power, was it?
19:41No mechanical power.
19:42We travelled 1,100 miles in total.
19:45Some of it was cross-country skiing and then kite skiing.
19:48Was it cold?
19:52When that picture was taken, I think it was minus 60 degrees.
19:57Oh!
19:57What did you eat?
19:59Food was...
20:00Oh, food.
20:02Fairly repetitive.
20:03It was chocolate, cheese, salami, pasta.
20:06Lots of it.
20:07And one day towards the end, when we had been eating the same thing for about 40 days,
20:11we played laxative roulette.
20:13And with one person who had laxatives in their food, we didn't know who.
20:17Well, I bet you did.
20:19Not straight away.
20:20The consequences were quite obvious after a while.
20:23Does it freeze as it comes back?
20:25It was almost showered of shit.
20:28No!
20:30When did the Russians put that then?
20:311958.
20:32Good Lord.
20:33Rupert Longstone, A, congratulations on doing an extraordinary first and being very,
20:38very foolhardy and very brave and very brilliant.
20:40No, clearly not an extraordinary first.
20:42There was a statue there when they arrived.
20:45They went under their own power.
20:47No one had ever done that before.
20:48Congratulations.
20:49Thank you very much, Rupert.
20:51It was amazing.
20:55I like the idea of that, though.
20:56The idea of going and doing that with no mechanical device whatsoever.
21:00Yeah.
21:00His moon mission's going to be amazing.
21:02It could be a man up a ladder going,
21:05oh, this is madness.
21:09So, ladies and gentlemen, on that splendid note,
21:11the pale rider now herds us,
21:14reluctantly towards the slough of despond that is general ignorance.
21:18So, fingers on your buzzers.
21:21What does your appendix do?
21:24Oh, do...
21:25Like the great British builder.
21:26It grumbles, but it does absolutely nothing.
21:36Does it contain details about me that aren't needed in the main body?
21:43Brilliant. Very good.
21:45Well, one of the uses it has is for rebuilding organs around the body in surgery,
21:50but it has quite recently been discovered to have a role in the immune system,
21:53building things, antibodies and lymphoids and so on.
21:57So, it is apparently, I'm rather worried when I've discovered this,
22:00that it seems to have plenty of uses,
22:02and I'm thinking of asking for mine back.
22:04It's going...
22:05There it is.
22:06There it is.
22:07There it is.
22:07No.
22:07Is it big?
22:08Is it...
22:09I can't see the scale of that.
22:10I think it's only small.
22:11No, it's a wee, wee little wordy thing.
22:12Yeah.
22:13Well, maybe yours is.
22:14No.
22:18Showing off about the size of my appendix.
22:21I don't even have any more.
22:24Well, the largest one ever found belonged to a Pakistani gentleman.
22:28when it was actually 9.2 inches, which is very big.
22:31Yeah?
22:32Not impressed?
22:33Yeah, I'm not impressed.
22:36What's the best thing to do, though,
22:38when you get the four-minute warning?
22:43Pop a love egg up.
22:44You're guaranteed to come before the end does.
22:54Very good.
22:55And you've always got one on your person.
22:58At all times.
23:00What I would do, if a four-minute warning,
23:03I would stand next to a wall,
23:05and then strike a pose,
23:08do something...
23:10I would do something like that,
23:12so that when I get blown into my own shadow
23:14and obliterated by the blast...
23:17It would be a funny and stonish.
23:17Yeah, then when they do Time Team in 4,000 years,
23:20and the new...
23:22Well, no, I want the new Tony Robinson to uncover me
23:24and go,
23:25I think ancient Egyptians.
23:26Oh, no, fair than that,
23:27you should get a really long pole
23:29and put it between your legs.
23:34Great.
23:35And they go, my God, look at this one!
23:38Make sure you've got your name somewhere.
23:40Put your name on the wall you've got.
23:42You could sort of flick out your posterior there,
23:45you could just sort of bend your bum out,
23:46and sort of try and make it look as if you'd farted
23:48and everything had gone.
23:50Oh, please!
23:56What is the four-minute warning?
23:57What am I...
23:58You think there was a four-minute warning, was there?
24:00Ah, there wasn't really such a thing as a four-minute warning.
24:02What happened was,
24:03the Americans got permission from the British
24:05to build an early warning system at Finingdale's
24:08in North Yorkshire,
24:08and there was quite a lot of fuss,
24:10saying,
24:11well, the Americans are ruining our lovely National Park
24:13just so they can get this 15-minute warning,
24:15and what good do we get out of it in Britain?
24:17And the defence ministry said,
24:18oh, well, it's also useful for us,
24:19we get a warning that in four minutes we'll go.
24:24So, which everybody rightly ridiculed.
24:26What the hell use is a four-minute warning?
24:28I mean, you've got barely time to do anything
24:29except your love egg going off, obviously.
24:32Finally, the last end question.
24:35How many poles are there at the ends of the earth?
24:38Oh, now, obviously, now there's clearly something.
24:41Well, that's a dangerous one.
24:44I think there are, maybe there are four.
24:46There's a, there's the top of the earth,
24:48and then there's the magnetic.
24:49Why, is that, is that what you're getting at?
24:51Yes, it is.
24:52I'm getting, how many North Poles and South Poles are there in?
24:54Two of each.
24:55So you're saying four.
24:56Oh, Alan.
24:57I really, really try hard.
24:59You did try hard.
25:00You've got to use that, but take it further.
25:03Eight.
25:04Oh!
25:04Oh!
25:09Have another go.
25:10Oh, no, I've blown all my elephant points down.
25:14Sixteen.
25:15It's eleven.
25:15I know it sounds bizarre, but I'll try and take you through them.
25:18There are the two geographic poles, as they're known.
25:20North and South geographic poles.
25:22That's where the earth's axis of rotation meets the surface, as it were.
25:25So that's, you know, pretty obvious.
25:28You think.
25:30There's the earth, and it's spinning round, you know.
25:33There's the...
25:33Just saying.
25:35Oh, oh, oh.
25:36I'm just not sure whether that's the best mime you could have done.
25:39I don't know.
25:40The, the...
25:41Geographical pole where this happens.
25:44I was trying to be like, it's going round the...
25:47Is that what happens when you get there, sir, is it?
25:49Yes.
25:50Oh, well, look.
25:53Okay.
25:53With...
25:54There are...
25:54The two geographic poles.
25:56Yes.
25:57There's the geomagnetic poles.
26:00What's the moment of that?
26:00Where the earth's magnetic dipole meets the surface.
26:03Obviously.
26:04Yeah.
26:04There are magnetic poles where the geomagnetic field lines point vertically into the ground in that way that...
26:10Electrical fields...
26:12I want to go home now.
26:13Alright.
26:14You can.
26:15We're going to get through these.
26:16Girls never like the physics.
26:18It's odd.
26:18Just the same.
26:18Please, I feel sick, sir.
26:21Even Polar Guy, about...
26:23Who's kind of into this as a topic, has dozed off at this stage.
26:27There we are.
26:28There are eleven poles.
26:29Two geographic north and south poles.
26:31Two magnetic poles.
26:32Two geomagnetic poles.
26:33Two poles of inaccessibility.
26:35Two celestial poles and one ceremonial south pole.
26:37Oh!
26:37And now we have come.
26:39We've come!
26:40We've come!
26:42Yes.
26:44Your pole of inaccessibility has finally been plundered.
26:48Yes.
26:53Oh, dear.
26:56We've come, not to the beginning of the end, or indeed to the end of the beginning, nor even the
27:01beginning of the middle part of that bit before the end, but to the actual end of the ending show
27:06itself.
27:06And we have a tie for first place between Dara and Jimmy at five points.
27:13Thank you for confirmation there.
27:14Well done.
27:18And extraordinarily tied at last place, at minus 17 each, Dune and Alan!
27:34So, as the killer locusts of Abaddon swarm around us and the end of the show draws nigh, it's goodnight
27:41from Jimmy, Dara, Dune, Alan and me, and I'll follow the advice of the king of hearts which he gave
27:46to the white rabbit.
27:47Begin at the beginning, the king said gravely, and go on till you come to the end and then stop.
27:53Goodnight.
27:53Goodnight.
27:54Good night.
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