- 34 minutes ago
First broadcast 21st September 2007.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Bill Bailey
Rob Brydon
Jimmy Carr
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Bill Bailey
Rob Brydon
Jimmy Carr
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Hello, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome to QI.
00:08Tonight we are quite interested in engineering, and so we've come equipped with four of the sharpest tools in the
00:15box.
00:16The steely Jimmy Carr.
00:22And the power-driven Rob Brydon.
00:29With the well-oiled Bill Bailey.
00:35And the spanner in the works, Alan Davis.
00:45So let's hear your precision-engineered sounds.
00:48Bill goes.
00:51Jimmy goes.
00:55And Rob goes.
00:58And Alan goes.
01:05Now, although tonight's manly menu mainly means engineering matters, don't forget our elephant in the room bonus by William.
01:15No.
01:15No, for predicting the arrival of one or more elephants on the program.
01:19There it is.
01:21Right.
01:21Be ready.
01:22First question.
01:23Who built Britain's railways?
01:26Look out!
01:27Look out!
01:27Oh, Jesus!
01:30I say.
01:31By the way, I have my own train here.
01:33Look at that.
01:34There.
01:35Isn't that fun?
01:36And I...
01:38I have...
01:39I have sweets, which I can load on and deliver to any particularly interesting answers this evening.
01:45So there's an extra incentive.
01:48However...
01:49I feel like this is turning into my perfect house.
01:53There you say.
01:54Oh, I have...
01:56More toast, please!
01:59Wallace and Gromit.
02:02But you have to first, to address the question of who built our railways, Richard Branson.
02:06Oh, no.
02:07It's not elephants.
02:08Large creatures were trained to trample down areas of Britain to be very, very flat.
02:15The railway mouse...
02:18Well, you're right, actually.
02:20The...
02:21Well...
02:22No.
02:24Sweet.
02:26That's a sweet.
02:27That's a sweet.
02:29You're right, actually, comma, in saying...
02:34Same words.
02:35In saying that railways had to be flat in the days when they were built in Britain,
02:41which were the very earliest days because we were the country that invented the steam locomotive and the railway system.
02:46And they weren't powerful enough engines to go up hills or to go even really around Ben,
02:50so they had to be straight and they had to be flat.
02:52Were they built by the wrong type of builder?
02:55Well, at the time, they were thought they weren't.
02:57They were called the much-mocked navvy.
03:00They were called navvies.
03:01They were mostly Irish.
03:03Yeah.
03:03And they were an extraordinary example of man muscle.
03:06They really were.
03:07It took a year to train a navvy.
03:08Well, I didn't know.
03:09You fed them on meat and beer.
03:11No Dagenham smiles there.
03:12Very tightly done trousers.
03:13Um, and they, uh...
03:18A Dagenham smile.
03:22The Birmingham to London track took five years to build and was the equivalent in work of building one and
03:30a half great pyramids.
03:31It was an astonishing feat.
03:33Astonishing.
03:34These people were incredible.
03:35As I say, it took a year to train them.
03:37They lived on beer and meat, and they could outperform any other manual labor.
03:43I mean, farm workers would be exhausted after a quarter of a day that the navvies could do.
03:47Oh, and I heard once that the Trans-Siberian Railway, which was meant to be a straight line,
03:53the Tsar, got a ruler, and he said,
03:55I want the railway perfectly straight, like this.
03:57And he got the ruler, and he drew a line like that,
04:00but his fingers were over the edge.
04:06And in a couple of places, it did a big sort of detour like that.
04:10He went, build me that!
04:11Go away!
04:12Like that.
04:13And they went, oh, we better build it like he said.
04:15So they had to build two ribbing curves.
04:19That's a lovely thought again.
04:20That's a lovely thought.
04:21I'd always assume that the first railways that were, that was.
04:24Oh, very well.
04:27We've done a sweep.
04:35Oh, let's get someone on the scene and go straight there now to see what's happening.
04:40It's absolute pandemonium, Steve.
04:43Oh, have you had your sweep yet?
04:44I've never had it yet.
04:47Oh, I'm not very good at being a back controller.
04:49The right place.
04:50Can't be a virgin training.
04:54Why?
04:54For a suite and a point.
04:57Why are they called navvies?
04:58Navigational engineers.
05:00Oh, very good.
05:01Very good.
05:02I'm so impressed.
05:02Is that right?
05:03Yeah.
05:05There you go.
05:05There you go.
05:09There you go.
05:10There you go.
05:19The embankments and the tunnels and the extraordinary earth movement involved.
05:23There were horses we used for taking away the spoil, but everything else was human muscle.
05:27Elephants as well, did you realize that?
05:28No elephants were used in the making of that railway line.
05:31They were, just little ones.
05:33So London to Birmingham, or Birmingham to London.
05:35Yeah.
05:35Was it equivalent to what?
05:36One and a half pyramids?
05:37One and a half great pyramids, supposedly.
05:39If only we'd put that to a vote, we would have had one and a half pyramids.
05:43What do you mean, just a half a pyramid?
05:44Yeah, we just thought we knew that.
05:45No, dude.
05:46Can we have the top half of the pyramid?
05:49Well, that's a pyramid.
05:50That's a pyramid, the top half, isn't it?
05:52It's only the bottom half.
05:53That's what I would choose.
05:58So just keep slicing the pyramids.
06:01Don't have a clue.
06:03There you are.
06:04Gentlemen, gentlemen.
06:05Oh, no!
06:08Thank you very much.
06:10Curses!
06:12The credit may have gone to engineers, of course, like Stevenson and Brunel,
06:16but it was thousands and thousands of anonymous navvies who did the actual work.
06:19Now, here's a big question.
06:20What happened when the Americans went off the rails?
06:26Jesus!
06:31This is during the Carter administration, when they tried to bring in a different form instead of rails.
06:37Because Jimmy Carter was a southern president, and in the deep south it was fried food.
06:42It's very, very popular.
06:44And they were hoping to in-build kind of carriages with holes in the bottom.
06:48People would sit, take their trousers down, and after eating a lot of fried food,
06:53they would fart it, and it would rise on a bed of noxious bottom gas.
06:59And then, behind, people would open balloons and let the air out.
07:03And if there were enough of the balloons, they would hope.
07:05I mean, it never worked.
07:06No!
07:06It never got off, obviously.
07:08You would have heard of it.
07:09A fool could have predicted it, but they didn't have a fool in the-
07:14For the first time in history.
07:16Yeah.
07:16Take the sweet off him.
07:18Yeah, he's-
07:20It's the question, when did America go off the rails?
07:23No, when a locomotive went off the rails in America, what did they do?
07:26They picked it up, put it back on.
07:28Is the right answer.
07:29It's as simple as that.
07:31What?
07:32It worked.
07:34The fault is, they deliberately made the locomotives very small in the light.
07:39Put that on!
07:39As you can see, they have no cladding, so they're as light as possible,
07:45and the passengers had to get out, pick it up, put it back on.
07:48They had the advantage of the potato blight, bringing over lots of Irishmen to be their navvies in America as
07:55well,
07:55at just the right time.
07:56Stephen, they're navigational engineers.
07:59Yeah, thank you for that, Ron.
08:00I don't think you should call them navvies.
08:02No, you're right.
08:02Now that we know the fool, the fool type.
08:05The, the, mix, were, um, taken over to do the digging, and did it brilliantly,
08:13and, and they tended to do it in the East Coast, and who did it in the West?
08:17The Chinese.
08:17The Chinese.
08:18The Chinese.
08:18The Chinese.
08:19And they met in the middle, the Irish and the Chinese,
08:21when they've completed the entire link across America.
08:24They could lay track, particularly from the West,
08:26there was a couple of brothers called Casement, who devised this system,
08:29where the track was laid as fast as a man could walk.
08:31That's how quickly they could lay.
08:32Not as fast as, uh, Gromit.
08:35No, that's...
08:37He was probably inspired by the Casement brothers.
08:39They'd have a train on, on the existing track, uh, or a sort of thing,
08:43and they would be exactly going ahead like that,
08:45and then they'd just simply push off the one when it had emptied itself of its rails and sleepers,
08:50and there would be one behind, and they would carry on.
08:52Incredible.
08:53I suspect that they're standing evenly apart for some kind of balance,
08:57because you would never, why would you ever stand like that,
08:59unless you were five individuals who happened to have bought single tickets?
09:03You've gone along with four friends on a train,
09:05you might stand closest to one another, aren't you, and chat?
09:08The women folk, perhaps, are with them.
09:15You may be right.
09:19I think it's top hands-off for that sort of thing.
09:24Why didn't they build a railway at Slough?
09:27At Slough?
09:29Why not?
09:29The town where I grew up.
09:31Is there no station in Slough?
09:33Well, there is no, I suspect, is there?
09:34Yes.
09:35Yes, there is.
09:38But there's no railway.
09:39No, but...
09:46It's a start.
09:47When the railway was being built through that particular part of Buckinghamshire,
09:52they were told they couldn't build a station in Slough.
09:55In fact, what happened was the train would, they would disregard it by stopping,
09:58and people would get on and off, and they would sell tickets in the pub.
10:00But who was it who said, we won't have a station here?
10:03What school is nearby?
10:04Oh.
10:05Oh, yes.
10:11I do know it.
10:12It's Eton.
10:13Eton College, of course, is there.
10:14And yes, they thought the boys would be tempted to go into London.
10:17There they are.
10:18Bless them.
10:18And take them.
10:19Drunks.
10:19And, well, visit prostitutes.
10:21No, I don't know.
10:22What would happen to the first thing they do?
10:23There's a train.
10:24Prostitutes!
10:28I'd like a prostitute super saver, please.
10:35That's why this prostitute seems to be a woman.
10:39Bloody hell, I should.
10:40Seriously, I'm fine.
10:42Oh, my God.
10:43Come on, actually.
10:44What are we meant to do with these?
10:46Yeah, come on.
10:46Oh, really?
10:47Yeah.
10:49There was a traveler's handbook that advised women should put pins in their mouth when trains
10:53went into a tunnel so men didn't kiss them.
10:59To protect themselves from unwanted kissing.
11:01They put a tube in their mouth.
11:03It's very sweet, though.
11:05To think that kissing would be the first thing that men would...
11:09They come out of the tunnel and the bloke's got a pin in his cock.
11:22It's a very direct approach.
11:25You've got to call for this.
11:27I'll just pop it in her mouth.
11:30She'll come round, I'm sure, yeah.
11:32Oh, my God.
11:33It's dark.
11:33She won't even know, is it?
11:36Magnet!
11:37Magnet!
11:37Anyone a magnet?
11:40So, there you are.
11:41Yes, when 19th-century American trains came off the rails, the passengers got out and lifted
11:45them back on.
11:47Now, what did the Zimbabwe Kingdom Brunel get for 18 birthdays in a row?
11:53For the first time ever, simultaneously...
11:55An elephant!
12:25How annoyed would you be as well?
12:25A book was a book!
12:28It would be a book!
12:32There!
12:33That'll do, won't it?
12:35A millionth-old?
12:36Yeah!
12:36What did he do?
12:37Let's think about what it's in my kingdom.
12:39Okay.
12:40Engineering.
12:40Engineering genius.
12:41Tunnels, but the first thing you said is that it's concentrated...
12:43Oh, Meccano!
12:44No?
12:47Which is one of his biggest...
12:49Well, the biggest tunnel he...
12:50The Box Tunnel?
12:51The Box Tunnel under Box Hill.
12:53You're absolutely right.
12:53It's like two miles long.
12:54There it is.
12:55Yeah.
12:55Well, the opening of it, obviously.
12:56It's huge!
12:57It's so...
12:58It created so much earthworks, the making of it.
13:00It was the biggest tunnel in the world at the time he did it.
13:02That there are...
13:04They built whales, were they?
13:05Well, no, there were all these...
13:10There are vast holes down there that are linked by other tunnels.
13:14There are 80 miles of tunnels under there.
13:17Between 1935 and 1940, the military took over and they built this extraordinary system of underground,
13:24with 30,000 square feet of office space, with a lift and as an ammunition dump.
13:29And, of course, a lot of people believe now that it's got an alien spaceship in it and all kinds
13:33of nonsense.
13:33Oh, yes, it's a lot of local folklore.
13:35Because I grew up near...
13:36Oh, well, you know what?
13:37...in Bath, you see, very near the Box Tunnel.
13:38You grew up in that tunnel?
13:39In the tunnel, yes.
13:40I was...
13:41I was known as the creature of the tunnel!
13:45How dare you go in that Box Tunnel?
13:49Did they tell you anything about the way Brunel designed it?
13:53Um...
13:53A special effect that could be got from it once a year?
13:57Does the light shine through it once a year?
13:59Yeah, go on.
14:00You can have your sweetie.
14:02Oh!
14:03There you are.
14:04There you are.
14:06There you are.
14:08Yes, on his birthday, which is the 9th of April, he was born in 1806.
14:13It was his...
14:14Oh, there it is.
14:15It's the bicentennial of his birth.
14:16There's the sun shining through.
14:17On his birthday, our QI field researchers wanted to stand there and check it.
14:22But they weren't allowed to buy network.
14:26But...
14:28That is one of the problems.
14:30Apparently, it is a straight tunnel, and the light will shine through, but it's usually
14:34full of dust and smoke and various other things.
14:36So, to explosions, where's the best place to be when the nuclear bomb goes off?
14:44Extraordinary.
14:44I would have gone for downtown Nagasaki.
14:46What are the chances of that happening again?
14:55There is a distance, and I'm not sure what that distance is.
14:59You have to be close enough to get some of the radiation, and if you're in the right spot,
15:06you will become a superhero.
15:10But, you know, experts are divided on what the distance is.
15:16And if you get it wrong...
15:18Oh.
15:19Yes.
15:19Hang on.
15:20How about...
15:24Behind an element.
15:25Behind an element.
15:29It's a thought.
15:30Oh.
15:30Well, when I say the best place, if you wanted to watch it, and...
15:34Ooh, ooh, ooh.
15:35I know.
15:35You've got to have a little bit of card with a pinhole to it.
15:40And then, you can be as close as you like.
15:42Oh, yeah.
15:43It actually can't hurt you.
15:46Where did the most nuclear bombs go off in history?
15:49South Pacific.
15:50Well, there were quite a few in the Pacific, but actually on land there were a thousand in
15:54the 1950s and early 60s.
15:56Nevada.
15:56Nevada.
15:57And in the early-ish 50s, when they were practicing their bomb techniques and setting one off just
16:02about once every three weeks, there was a town which was no good town at all in the early
16:0750s.
16:07It was of no interest.
16:08Segas.
16:09Las Vegas.
16:10It's called itself the Up and Atom town.
16:14And it advertises itself as a place to watch nuclear bombs going off.
16:18It's 65 miles away.
16:19They thought that was nice and safe.
16:21They would have poolside parties in the few hotels that were there.
16:24So, are you saying the lights of Vegas have got nothing to do with lights?
16:26They're just...
16:27It's just an afterglow of people going in there.
16:30Oh, I don't feel well.
16:33Well, over 10,000 people known as downwinders have claimed and successfully claimed at that
16:39half a billion dollars from the US government for the effects of it.
16:43The Japanese Emperor Hirohito made a radio announcement after Hiroshima.
16:49Which may be one of the great understatements of all time.
16:52He said, the war has developed not necessarily to our advantage.
16:58Traffic and travel next.
17:01Not that much travel.
17:03No.
17:06Fortunately, the American search for amusing new bombs to entertain the public never ceases.
17:11How does the love bomb work?
17:16I turn up and I get on with it.
17:28You get a love bomb, a bottom noise that can be made whilst you're making love.
17:32You know that sometimes you're enjoying some love.
17:35And then all of a sudden, you know that it's been awkward and you pretend you haven't heard it.
17:41Rob?
17:43Rob, can I remind you of something?
17:45I like the fact that you use this.
17:46Your father is in the audience.
17:50He's at the door, that's my boy.
17:53You're putting wheels on the macros.
17:56You have this kind of sophisticated humour.
17:59You're quite right.
18:00So, love bomb.
18:01He lets off something that makes everyone feel loved up.
18:05Yeah.
18:05It's that big ecstasy bomb.
18:07Yeah, you're sort of right.
18:08In 1994, the Americans worked on the idea of a bomb that would contain an aphrodisiac.
18:14I quote of the plan here.
18:17It's been declassified two years ago.
18:18One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behaviour.
18:28Oh, my God.
18:29The idea was to make the troops.
18:32Is that the best example we can count?
18:37Hang on, what have you been putting in my tea, then?
18:40The idea was, yes, that they would all start loving each other up instead of fighting.
18:44Now, what could you make with an ultrasound rectal probe, a light-emitting tube, bicycle helmets, protective clothing, a huge
18:54tub of Vaseline, and a wheelbarrow?
18:58I could make you the happiest man alive.
19:03Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
19:05Elephant in the room.
19:07Yes, yes.
19:08Is this something to do with a medical examination of an elephant?
19:12Do you get the point?
19:13It's what you do.
19:14It's how you test pregnancy in elephants.
19:17No, it's how you make pregnancy in elephants.
19:18Well, that's what I meant, yes.
19:19How you make elephants pregnant.
19:22Artificial insemination of elephants.
19:24Yes.
19:24That's it, yes.
19:25You need the safety helmet, for safety reasons, as you can imagine.
19:29You need the bucket, or wheelbarrow in this case, to collect the elephant droppings, because you need to give an
19:34elephant an enema first.
19:36Oh, you're making an elephant porn film.
19:41And you do need hours of preparation for this.
19:43A couple of Germans, surprisingly, are the experts at this.
19:47Doctors Thomas Hildebrandt and Frank Goeritz.
19:50Oh, there's, there's the doctor.
19:52No.
19:52They've made 12 baby elephants this way.
19:55You know when you say hours of preparation, do you mean getting her in the mood?
19:58Well.
19:59Do you take her out to dinner?
20:00Do you, do you compliment her?
20:02You only have to compliment her once, because she never forgets.
20:09Great.
20:11An ultrasound probe into the elephant's rectum, while feeding a light emitting tube into what is rather pleasingly called her
20:16vestibule.
20:18Into the rectum?
20:19Yeah.
20:20I'm pretty sure that's not how it's done.
20:21No, but you have to do that first.
20:23You have to do, it's all right.
20:24You have to do that first.
20:24That's what I've been telling her.
20:27Oh, listen to her.
20:29Oh, no, no.
20:31Finally, she'll pay attention now.
20:36Why not just get a big boy elephant?
20:38Well, in the circumstances, it would say it's impossible.
20:43Artificial insemination with other animals happens, obviously, and it's, with elephants, it's occasionally...
20:47Getting animals to mate in captivity is very difficult, especially with each other.
20:51Yes.
20:51Yes.
20:52Exactly right.
20:54Anyway, all those exciting objects, with luck, could make you a baby elephant.
20:58And they are the tools used by artificial inseminators.
21:02So, so, the wheel turns full circle, gentlemen, and plunges us back into the oily sump...
21:08What?
21:08...of general ignorance.
21:09So, fingers on, passers, please.
21:11Where are you most likely to get bitten by a vampire?
21:16A 19th century novel.
21:20Mr. Hinewood Studios.
21:22Very good, good answer.
21:24Outside your own house.
21:28Where on the body?
21:29Well, it would be, it would have to be some sort of protrusion where blood gathers and is easily accessible.
21:35Through the base loads.
21:36Probably the elbow.
21:38What about in a dark tunnel?
21:41No, but it is a protuberance, as Jimmy pointed out.
21:44Big toe.
21:45Big toe?
21:47A vampire was the most likely place.
21:49There are a number of misconceptions about vampire bats, obviously, but, I mean, we're talking about real vampire bats.
21:54Well, who does your picture with Mr. Hinewood?
21:56Oh, Jesus.
21:56Oh, he's a nasty looking one, isn't he?
21:58That is a really...
21:58Gary Oldman is a hell of a man.
22:02It's like he really transforms, doesn't he?
22:04It's easy.
22:05If Yoda...
22:06Is he regarded as a bit of a looker?
22:09If Yoda had accepted the dark side...
22:14That's how he would have looked.
22:17That's a very suave-looking man.
22:19Hello.
22:22Would you mind ultimately if I nipped you on the toes?
22:27Well, I'm having a few friends out there.
22:28Would you like a liqueur?
22:31What do they do?
22:36How do they ingest their blood?
22:37I mean, what do they do?
22:39They bite and sniff it up, swallow it, lick it, slurp it, hide it.
22:44Draw it open.
22:45Who do you think you are?
22:47Cancel it!
22:48Cancel it, I don't know, but...
22:50Laid down for a couple of years.
22:53With a syringe, I mean, they're quite hygienic animals.
22:56Small bit of cotton wool.
22:57Syringe, and then you get a cup of tea and a biscuit.
22:59That's how you know you've been bitten.
23:01A tiny little plaster.
23:02They do, they do.
23:03You're quite right in one sense.
23:05They do an anticoagulant and a painkiller.
23:07So you're unlikely to know you've been bitten.
23:09What they do is they open the skin and the vein,
23:12and then they lap at it like a cat.
23:14La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
23:20I don't know about anyone, but I think a love bomb may have gone off.
23:28Oh, Lord.
23:30Stephen doesn't need a love bomb to behave like that, you know.
23:33Is he getting hot in yet?
23:36Yes, the most likely place to get bitten by a vampire is in the big toe.
23:40And finally, what's the biggest load of rubbish in the world?
23:45Oh.
23:45France.
23:48We got France!
23:54There's a lovely picture of France there.
23:59This show is sponsored by the British Tourist Board.
24:02Don't leave, it's horrible over there.
24:05Somewhere in America, probably.
24:07Oh, hang on.
24:08There was a thing in the QI book about the biggest load of rubbish in the world.
24:11The biggest man-made thing.
24:12And it was a rubbish dump in New York.
24:15Ireland.
24:15What?
24:21No.
24:22That is one of the, that is the largest man.
24:25Thanks for taking that bullet, Bill.
24:27Lord knows I appreciate that.
24:30I'll set him up, you knock him over.
24:32I don't know many rubbish dumps, funnily enough.
24:36I mean, this Warnsworth tip.
24:40I don't know the biggest one, there's a very good one.
24:43No, there's a very good one for the Richmond area.
24:46Where you can, you can, they have separate stuff for plastics and cardboard and textiles.
24:52Yeah, that's the one, that's the one in Warnsworth.
24:54No, no, no, no, no. I did clearly say, Richmond.
24:57Well, you can do all that in Warnsworth as well.
24:59You don't have to go to Richmond because you're not talking about Warnsworth.
25:02You're not talking about Richmond.
25:03All right.
25:04What was the original question?
25:05Well, the fact is, as you say, that is a very big pile of rubbish.
25:08It's the biggest man-made structure in the world.
25:10But actually, we're in the Pacific.
25:11We're in the Northern Pacific Gyre.
25:13It's an area where...
25:16It really takes you there.
25:18It does.
25:19Let me come with me into the swirling vortex that is the Northern Pacific Gyre.
25:24That's not a photo, is it?
25:25No, that's not.
25:26It's all the currents swirl, everything tends towards making a huge maelstrom.
25:33Ah, so they grab all the driftwood and all the rubbish.
25:34And in the old days, all the rubbish would go there, but it would be broken down by microorganisms.
25:38But today, since the invention of plastic, plastic doesn't biodegrade, as you probably know.
25:44It photodegrades, but doesn't biodegrade, so it lasts for a very, very long time.
25:48And it's all in an area the size of Texas.
25:51Texas?
25:52I mean, it's colossal.
25:53And for every pound of plankton, there is six pounds of plastic.
25:56And is it just on the surface, or what is it?
25:58Where is it?
25:58It's on the surface, it gets eaten by the poor animals, you know.
26:02You can fight jellyfish with bits of brightly colored plastic inside.
26:04You think that's remarkable?
26:06At the Richmond tip, there's a section, there's a section for fluorescent tubes.
26:12We've got that in Wandsworth, haven't we got one?
26:16And we've got one there for fridges, and...
26:19We've got fridges?
26:19Yeah, fridges, tellies, computers, everything you want.
26:23Keyboards, um, things you don't need anymore.
26:25What about is it?
26:26I want to check it out.
26:27Now, we can decide all this later, because the fact is, yes, the biggest collection of
26:33rubbish in the world is floating in the North Pacific Gyre, otherwise known as the Pacific
26:37Trash Vortex.
26:39Kind of grunge band, isn't it?
26:41Speaking of rubbish, it's time for the scores.
26:45And first out of the tunnel, with a full 11 points, is Rob Bryden.
26:54What?
26:55What?
26:56What?
26:59Mirabile Dicciu, in second place, perhaps the first time ever, with plus four points, Alan
27:06Davies!
27:08Great achievement.
27:15And in third place with minus two, it's Jimmy Carr.
27:23Which means
27:26It means that trailing behind him
27:28One of those funny little up and down things
27:30That you take along on a railway line
27:32With minus 18 points
27:34Phil Bailey
27:45So that's all
27:46From Jimmy, Rob, Bill, Alan and me
27:48But here's one last question for you at home
27:51How do you know that God is a civil engineer
27:53Because when he designed the human body
27:56He put the recreation area right next to the sewage outflow
28:00Good night
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