- 8 hours ago
First broadcast 2nd November 2007.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Jimmy Carr
Phill Jupitus
David Mitchell
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Jimmy Carr
Phill Jupitus
David Mitchell
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Well, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome to
00:06QI, where tonight we're all ears and eyes, and so I say unto you, hark, behold, Phil Jupitus, David Mitchell,
00:21Jimmy Carr, and Alan Davis.
00:30So, gentlemen, let's hear your eyes, Phil goes.
00:37Aye, aye, sir.
00:39Oh, cabin boy.
00:41And David goes.
00:45The eyes to the right.
00:47Jimmy goes.
00:52Alan goes.
01:00Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I'll wear a...
01:01No, not surmise.
01:04Good, and don't forget to keep your ears peeled for an elephant.
01:09Mmm, if you see one coming, you're looking at a bonus.
01:13That's it, there's your elephant.
01:15Good, well done.
01:17Very obedient.
01:18You can put them away now, or maybe that was a clue to our next question.
01:22Who knows, here it comes.
01:24What would you use one of these for?
01:28Hmm?
01:29What would I use it for, or what is it meant for?
01:32Oh, isn't this for fish? Getting things out of fish.
01:35Ah, interesting thought.
01:37On the Swiss Army knife, there's one for scooping out a fish eye.
01:40They're not as difficult to get out the eye of a fish.
01:43Are they?
01:44They're pretty squidgy, unless the fish is still alive.
01:48Fish don't blink, which is the main eye defence.
01:53If you're ever trying to get the eye out of a fish and it blinks, it may be a lion.
02:00Is this the Albanian army knife?
02:04I do two things, I poke and scoop.
02:09No, I like the word scoop, scoop.
02:11It's scooping fish eyes out.
02:13Not for scooping out fish eyes, but for scooping something.
02:15Some people get loads of sleep in their eye, great clods.
02:20More than a finger end can manage.
02:23When you get up in the morning and you...
02:25What did you say?
02:26I like you very much.
02:29Earwax is the right answer.
02:33Yay.
02:38No, thanks a bunch.
02:41You've all got...
02:42That as well.
02:42You've all got a red one, in fact.
02:44Oh.
02:44Yeah, this one too.
02:44This is a slightly more modern version.
02:46Do you know what they're called?
02:47Earwax scoopers.
02:48Yeah, they're called ear spoons or ear curettes.
02:53Doctors call them a curette.
02:54Can I just...
02:55I mean, how much do these things cost?
02:57Well, not very much, I wouldn't have thought.
02:59Can I just say, anyone buying a Bic biro?
03:03We have to be very careful about what we put into our ears, though, don't we?
03:06They do say, if you put a tiny bit of earwax, say you've got glasses and you do that, you
03:12know, which some people with glasses do, and you would just pop it on top of a frothing
03:15pint of beer or stout, it makes the head disappear completely.
03:21Because it's oil-based, and oil will break down the surface tension of the bubbles and
03:25cause them to collapse.
03:26You use that little hole, you put that in your ear?
03:29Well, yes.
03:29Again, a doctor wouldn't recommend it.
03:31I have to...
03:31Oh, he's going to do it.
03:34That's silly not to.
03:34I can't hear anything.
03:36The problem is not the scraping out of the ear matter, it's the disposal.
03:40Oh, you're right.
03:41Where does one put it?
03:42Yes, because unlike snot, it doesn't taste nice.
03:47It is so very bitter, isn't it?
03:49Yes, it is bitter.
03:53It's very much just the greens of the meal that the body makes rich.
03:57You chuck your earwax.
04:00That's what magicians do, isn't it?
04:02Oh, yeah, very good.
04:04It's convincing from my angle, not from the audience.
04:06It's actually gone in.
04:10Well, if it's true, if you squirt sort of fairy liquid on, thinking of the surface tension
04:20thing, where there are lots of water boatmen hanging around, they'll all sink, won't they?
04:24They will.
04:25And he just wanted to look at the expressions on their faces, because to them, it's like
04:29the ground has turned to liquid.
04:31Because they don't realise it's liquid to start with, the morons.
04:36Right, what can you tell me about Q-tips?
04:38Don't put them in your ear.
04:39They're much better for cleaning your ear than these things.
04:41Well, you'd think, wouldn't they?
04:42Do you know who invented them?
04:43Mr. Q and Mr. Tip.
04:46There was actually a man called Leo Gustin-Sang.
04:49So it wasn't Quincy Tippington.
04:51I don't know what they thought.
04:53When he saw his wife using toothpicks with cotton wads for their baby's ear.
04:58And do you know what the original name was for them?
05:01Baby Spears.
05:02Baby something.
05:03Baby Gays.
05:05Baby Gays?
05:06Baby Gays.
05:07G-A-Y-S.
05:08They're still called Baby Gays in other places, because I imagine if some, you know, a foreigner
05:13comes here on holiday, having a lovely time, but they think, I'm going to clean my ears,
05:16you know, put on a good show, and they walk into Boots and go, have you got any Baby Gays?
05:20They'll be put on some sort of register.
05:22They would.
05:23You're right.
05:24Do you know how many of these Baby Gays now called Q-Tips or Cotton Buds Unilever produces
05:29a year?
05:30A billion.
05:31Two trillion.
05:31Two billion.
05:31Four billion.
05:3325 and a half billion.
05:35Billion?
05:36A year.
05:37That's a lot.
05:37Now, how can we tell who is whose child just by looking at their ears?
05:43Hey!
05:46That was a beautiful weekend.
05:50Presumably, the parents of the child would be going, step away from my child, stop looking
05:54in his ears.
05:56Well, yes, there is that.
05:57On that day, I had to have a child's head on my body all day.
06:02Was it exhausting?
06:04Tell you who's they think about it.
06:05I've got a crack in paradise.
06:07So, the Atkins is working there.
06:11I feel really left out.
06:12I'm sorry.
06:13Could I be like the dog or something?
06:17Actually, though, David, you could also be the parent of that child.
06:22Indeed, Alan, Phil could be your parents.
06:25In terms of ears, how would we know that, though?
06:27What is it about your ears that is particular?
06:29It's very odd that you four, all four of you, have very unusual ears.
06:32Well, not very unusual, but less than average.
06:35Is it a lobe thing?
06:36It's a lobe thing.
06:38Your lobes are all attached.
06:39They don't hang.
06:41Yeah, what, you mean they're not sort of over there somewhere?
06:43No, they're called attached lobes.
06:45They go straight down.
06:46You don't have a little actual lobe.
06:48You have a lobe.
06:49You have a lobe, don't you?
06:50A little flappy lobe.
06:51I can do that.
06:52Oh, stop it!
06:53Stop it!
06:54It's more common to have a lobe than not to, in fact.
06:57In the audience, could you put your hands up if you've got, like me, a little flappy lobe?
07:00Freak!
07:01There you are, you see.
07:02And could you put your hands up if you haven't, if you like those?
07:06Yes, you see?
07:07It's a bit like eye colour.
07:08It's a dominant and recessive gene thing, so that if you both have attached lobes as a mother and father,
07:15then your child must have attached lobes, too.
07:18So if a family are watching this and they think, well, hang on, ours hasn't.
07:21Yeah.
07:22I'm afraid it's a dead giveaway.
07:24Yeah.
07:24Well, this is turning into Kilroy.
07:26Well done.
07:26Yeah.
07:28I think the best way to tell whose kid it is by the earlobes is if they're pierced
07:31and the kid is less than two years old, the parents are the ones in the shell suits
07:35having a fight in a car park.
07:38Oh!
07:40What?
07:45If a child has hanging lobes and both his parents have lobes attached,
07:50then something's amiss.
07:51Don't wake the children up to find out now, though.
07:53Just take a picture.
07:54Yeah, why wake them up?
07:55They're not yours.
07:55Of course.
07:56Exactly.
07:58Now, what's the best way to date a cod?
08:01Oh.
08:02Where did you find a slutty fishmunker?
08:07There are plenty.
08:08All these whores of the sea can be yours.
08:10If you do them up like that, they fly out the shop.
08:13Oh, given the choice of two cod cods.
08:18Yeah, which one?
08:20I love Lady Penelope there.
08:23That's what's going to do with eyes or ears.
08:27That's our theme.
08:29Yes, Mark.
08:30They have no ears, so.
08:31Well, the size of them.
08:33Holmes?
08:33Ears is, right, they have an ear bone.
08:35They have an ear bone?
08:36They have an ear bone.
08:37But what's interesting is that you can age a cod to within a day using this method.
08:43So it's even better than trees, which, as we know, is a year.
08:45The otolith is a bone that we all have, which helps us give us a sense of which way our
08:49head is up.
08:50We all, what, all of us cod?
08:51No, all of us living things.
08:54In fish, including cod, it gets this calcium carbonate buildup.
08:59And if you, unfortunately, you have to kill the cod first, and then you bake its otolith,
09:03and then under a microscope, you can tell its age to within a day.
09:07And then you go, oh, it's his birthday, I'll get him a present.
09:09Oh.
09:11Cods used to be so plentiful.
09:12Alexander Dumas, who wrote an encyclopedia of gastronomy, said you could walk from France to America on cod.
09:19They were so, you could see them, and you sailed them.
09:21Well, that ended in disaster.
09:22Yes, it did.
09:23The deaths of many young people.
09:25Yes.
09:26Essentially, the cod wouldn't cooperate.
09:28Yeah.
09:28It was theoretically possible, but the organisational challenge was too great.
09:33And they're slippy, even if they will lie nicely on the surface.
09:37It's true.
09:38It's just, it's not going to happen.
09:40Back to boats, you know.
09:41No, but it'd be brilliant, though.
09:43It'd be like, you could just, like, run, and then slide on them for a bit, and then go up
09:46and run.
09:47It'd be the best journey to America ever.
09:49Yeah, like wheelie trainers.
09:50Oh, yes.
09:51Anyway, that's how you age them.
09:52Just by counting the rings in its ears.
09:55Now, who has the biggest ears in the world, and what are they for?
09:59Hey!
10:01Hey!
10:02Hey!
10:04Hey!
10:04Hey!
10:04I would go, Grandma, and I would say, all the better to hear you.
10:08We're...
10:13I'd like you to be aware of it.
10:14Oh, two elephants in the end of the day.
10:16And you are right!
10:19Ah!
10:19So simple.
10:21Elephants have the biggest ears.
10:22But what's interesting about the size of those flaps is that they're nothing to do with hearing.
10:27but do you know what there is are for why they yes cooling yes they cool and a huge blood
10:35vessels
10:35you see how veiny they are and they flap them and they can reduce the temperature their blood by up
10:39to 10 degrees Fahrenheit and then send it around the rest of their body and keep doing it so it's
10:43a
10:43wonderful air conditioning system also they're for aggressive displays not that aggressive is it
10:48waggling your ears well it's not right out there they've got tasks if they want to get properly
10:53aggressive it's true it's a first warning shot across the bow I think it's a bit more flirty do you
10:58think well there is a library that they they waft some of their scent which they manufacture behind
11:04there is with their flap so maybe you're right maybe it is flirty I think it's important if you're
11:08thinking of going on a safari holiday for you to get it right about whether an elephant is being
11:12aggressive or flirty and also you want to think even if it is being flirty is that the kind of
11:19relationship you want to get in surely that is a lose-lose yes aggressive or randy yeah
11:26if it starts flapping its scent around you don't want to get covered in that either no you don't
11:30want to be appealing to a randy elephant you'd rather the corner one coming up behind you so the more
11:34it's flapping the colder it's getting presumably more aggressive yes dynamite in the sack though
11:40elephants do have big ears though they don't use the flaps for hearing really
11:46now would a bit of rough music stop you beating your wife
11:51Jesus what
11:54that's the kind of light-hearted image we have of beating your wife
11:59yeah sounds like a sort of leading question in a police interview doesn't it
12:03would some music stop you beating your wife
12:06I might actually
12:07gotcha
12:08but it is the classic thing isn't it is the old press question is have you stopped beating your wife
12:13which any answer naturally condemns you but uh wife beating is a bad thing we don't approve
12:20naturally it's just so stupid isn't it being your wife I mean it's your wife it's like keying your own
12:25car
12:33society just got a tiny bit worse I like to think I can help have you heard the phrase rough
12:40music no in the countryside if a man was accused of beating his wife oh they would be condemned by
12:47the village to rough music in which they would come around to his house at midnight and they would bang
12:53on buckets and cash
12:56metal metal things make a terrible row or they'd parade indeed through the street again making this noise
13:01humiliating them in such a way that they would presumably would be often be run out of town in fact
13:06a hundred years ago this was still being done in the countryside they called it riding the stang in scotland
13:12there are a number of things philandering wife beating or indeed allowing yourself to be henpecked was considered a punishable
13:18offence for men but that looks brilliant he sat on a chair everyone's carrying around hitting things it's like a
13:23carnival
13:23I don't think he's him
13:25no
13:25you didn't know I thought that was the fellow that beat his wife
13:28that's one of the people but he's beating a saucepan
13:30we don't know where
13:31that's the disabled person in the village who also wants to join in with the whole thing they were very
13:36very PC in the past
13:37so
13:39unusual disability in that he can't get his leg down
13:43that picture is called the serenade of rough music it's from Robert Chambers book of days published in 1865
13:51apparently the one there he's the leader of the rough music the one on the channel
13:56he looks in charge
13:56he's after all being carried
13:59he can play two instruments
14:01the pan and the stick
14:05well anyway there we are rough music was a traditional form of community justice meted out in the English countryside
14:11until a hundred years ago now what happens if an earwig gets into your ear
14:15oh
14:16yes
14:17to the right
14:18it gets into your brain
14:20and it stays there and you form a sort of symbiotic relationship with it
14:24it happened to me 20 years ago and we've never been happier
14:29oh
14:35oh what a shame you got thought of this or that
14:38I'll tell you what I would do
14:39if an earwig went into my ear I would threaten it with a gun like that
14:43and then if it didn't come out I would shoot I don't mess about
14:45yeah
14:47do they go in ears though is that why they're called that
14:49well you
14:50it's an interesting thing as to why they're called it
14:52it may be because the back of their body looks like the kind of pincers people use to pierce ears
14:59with
14:59in French it's called a pierce or a pierce ear
15:02and lots of words for earwig in other languages are the same as the word for scissors in fact
15:07it just looks useless having that at the back end
15:09it does rather doesn't it
15:10well it's kind of what you want it up the front
15:13that's true
15:14you know if a spider lays its eggs underneath your skin
15:17think about how much worse it would be if it was a goose
15:23yes
15:24they all come out in this hour
15:25yes
15:27geese everywhere
15:28gorgeous they are when they come out
15:30yeah the fluffy little
15:34yes
15:34I'm a goose mother
15:38anyway the idea that earwigs crawl into people's ears and lay eggs or bore into their brain
15:42is a complete myth but a very widespread one
15:45now pin back your lug holes for another dose of the half-baked hearsay we call general ignorance
15:52fingers on buzzers please
15:54why was it hard for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
15:58the eyes to the right
16:00this is isn't this this is because it was a gate wasn't it
16:04it was a gate
16:07no
16:08no
16:09no
16:09no
16:10Christ if you remember says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle
16:13than it is for a rich man
16:14to enter
16:15into the kingdom of God
16:17of course and these were the days before liquidisers
16:19yeah
16:20there was no chance of pureeing up the thing and getting a straw
16:23I mean it would be a mess but it would be doable ladies and gentlemen
16:26remember this is a rich man we're talking about
16:28he would have people to do this for the white goods
16:33obviously what happened is a lot of rich men read the bible and thought
16:37that can't be right
16:38surely
16:39so there are two get-out clauses one was this idea that there was an eye of the needle gate
16:44in Jerusalem city walls but there is absolutely no contemporary historical or archaeological
16:48ever there
16:49well actually in biblical times women's hands were significantly bigger than they are today
16:53so a needle's eye could be forty or fifty foot across
16:58you still want that rich man to get through don't you
17:01what someone told me I might say at my bloody school
17:04which is still going and it turns out it's talking bullshit
17:11I bet it was a private school
17:13it was a private school
17:13where they don't like to get on the wrong side of rich people
17:15there are two sorts of gates to get into cities in those days
17:18one that was quite wine one that was quite narrow and a fully laden camel
17:22couldn't squeeze through quite a narrow gate and those were called eyes of needles
17:27and what Jesus wasn't doing was being sort of sarky
17:30and going yeah it's about as easy for a rich man to get into heaven as to get a planet
17:35into a shoe
17:37he was actually saying that if the camel was no longer fully laden
17:41hence the wealth had been you know dumped somewhere
17:45then the camel went in as easy as you like
17:46I don't know how rich you are if all your stuff is on the back of one camel
17:49but it depends if it is diamonds
17:51yeah, they're really rich
17:53they haven't found all the South African diamond mines then
17:56so diamonds are worth even more
17:57yeah, good point
17:58the coronation of George IV
18:00all the diamonds in the crown jewels were hired
18:02the king of England wasn't rich enough to own enough diamonds for one poxy coronation
18:08that's how expensive diamonds were
18:10can you hire diamonds?
18:10now any sort of rap stars got married
18:12of course you can
18:13all the actors hire diamonds
18:14that would be the Everest of unsure engagements wouldn't it?
18:19I've just rented this for a week
18:20let's see how things go
18:22let's wait until after you put it out
18:24but no, you're absolutely right David
18:26that is precisely what
18:28Jesus was being sarcastic
18:30Jesus meant exactly what he said
18:32he should have just said
18:32you can't
18:33if you're rich
18:34you're going to hell
18:36yeah
18:37it was an existing phrase
18:38there was actually putting an elephant through the eye of a needle existed as a phrase
18:42which is in the Torah, the Jewish book
18:44and it appears in the Koran as well
18:46putting a camel through the eye of a needle
18:47and it means that
18:48so there was an alternative idea
18:50that camelos was a misreading of the Greek for rope
18:52that it was easier to put a rope through
18:54you know
18:55I quite like the idea they downgraded it
18:57passing rope through a needle
18:58it's rather good
18:58well it started with elephants
19:00it's very difficult to get an elephant through
19:02technically easier to get a camel through
19:04it would be
19:04and then they downgraded it to a kitten
19:06a kitten
19:07a kitten would be heartbreaking though wouldn't it?
19:10a heart breaking film
19:11you start with his first little claw
19:13and you're going
19:13you know I don't think this is going to happen
19:15you cut their whiskers off
19:18you can get their head stuck in a milk bottle
19:20I know that
19:23from experience
19:25and they will try
19:26if you put something at the bottom
19:27like a bit of tuna
19:31and then they do actually manage it
19:33and you end up with a lovely bottled cap
19:35let's take to a party
19:37let's take to a party
19:38I couldn't decide red or white
19:39so I brought the cat
19:42what about a cat in a balloon?
19:44a cat in a balloon?
19:46a cat in a balloon?
19:48you've got to think
19:49you've got to think
19:56what about the claws?
19:58we'll have to pass
19:59the claws
20:03now the bottle was a workable idea
20:05balloon that's just silly
20:10so most likely the text means exactly what it says
20:13at any rate there's no evidence for a gateway called the eye of the needle
20:16now how many eyes does a four-eyed fish have?
20:19two
20:20one
20:21four
20:21eight
20:22how many points were lost?
20:25I can tell you
20:26the trouble is
20:26you did say one
20:28but you said first two
20:30which is right
20:30that's right
20:31so we'll get the points back
20:32you should get the points back
20:33definitely
20:34it's two eyes
20:34in fact they're called the four-eyed fish in many places
20:37they come from
20:38have you heard of them?
20:40no it's called the anableps anableps
20:43there it is
20:44that's not hot
20:45anableps anableps
20:46named by a scientist with a stutter
20:48yeah yeah yeah
20:49anableps anableps
20:49means looking up in Greek
20:52and that's the clue
20:52it has two eyes
20:53but they're divided into two each of them
20:55the fish arrange themselves precisely at the surface of the water
20:58so the top halves of their eyes are looking up out of it
21:01while the bottom halves are simultaneously looking down
21:03so they're there in the water with the top half going
21:05so dry
21:06so very dry
21:07they can't blink
21:08it's a bit of a bastard
21:11well do you find them in Mexico and northern Spain
21:13do their predators come up from behind and go yet?
21:15oh, what is he expecting that was he?
21:17he's not expecting that when he's looking up and he's looking down
21:21whoop
21:21good point
21:22now what are your chances of survival in a plane crash?
21:25I'm guessing
21:26I'm just gonna be one of these where there are loads and loads and loads of plane crashes
21:29but usually no one dies
21:31yeah that's more or less true
21:32statistically
21:33I imagine it swings on the whistle that you get on the life jacket
21:37I think that's probably what saves the lives
21:40the people
21:40and if it's that kind of plane crash that's never happened
21:43where the plane likely bobs onto the water
21:45everyone gets out
21:47nicely takes their high heels off
21:48inflates the thing
21:49tops it up
21:50and then
21:50oh help doesn't seem to have come
21:52I know
21:52oh that's alright
21:56here it comes
21:56the American army
21:58it does rather rely on someone having quite selective hearing
22:00and going
22:01I didn't hear that plane go down
22:02but
22:03imagine anything more
22:04I can't imagine anything more pathetic
22:07what if there's a plane going
22:08a round of air travellers
22:09barboring along the water
22:11what if there's a plane going
22:11ping ping ping
22:14what they should give is everyone gets a different note
22:19you get a little song book
22:20yeah
22:21wouldn't it be tragic though if you were playing a little song and one of the notes didn't go off
22:24and you went
22:25didn't make it
22:26didn't make it
22:29oh dear
22:34I see Dave's been eaten by sharks
22:37we're going to have to play chopsticks
22:40let's do South Pacific
22:41we can do this show right here
22:44I heard a great
22:46an urban legend about the brace position
22:48someone told me that the reason they want you to put your head between your legs
22:51is to preserve the dental record
22:53I don't think it's true
22:54I heard that as well
22:55and actually I don't know why they just tell people that
22:57you know
22:57in the unlikely event of your death
22:59I'm sure you'll all agree
23:00you'd like to be identified
23:01leave
23:05quite down hard on your own armrest
23:13oh dear
23:17well in fact between 83 and 2000
23:19in the US there were 568 plane crashes
23:2653,487 people aboard
23:2851,207 survived
23:30the main problem experienced
23:32is oddly enough getting seat belts off
23:34although you know
23:35we all get bored by the hostess reminding us
23:37how this incredibly simple buckle works
23:39but apparently under stress
23:40people revert to trying to undo them the way that's familiar to them in the car
23:44so yeah the fact is it is very unlikely
23:47the reason you're made to open the window blinds
23:49when you're landing
23:50and that they turn off the cabin lights
23:52and make it dark on landing
23:54is if there's an accident
23:55the emergency services can see in through the windows
23:58if they need to
23:59and also so that passengers eyes are accustomed to low light
24:02in case they need to evacuate in the dark
24:05um
24:06now
24:06can any of you
24:08name
24:09just one of the actors who
24:11in
24:12over 30 adaptations of treasure island
24:14played captain flint
24:16isn't captain flint
24:18not in treasure island
24:19no there is a captain flint
24:21in fact there are two captain flints
24:31oh no captain
24:32flint is of course actually the parrot who says
24:35pieces of eight
24:36pieces of eight
24:36pieces of eight
24:37why pieces of eight
24:38yes because you needed to circle the parrot there
24:40i think we
24:43the parrot is here
24:46that's where it is
24:47because many people have parrot blindness watching a parrot
24:50it's a terrible affliction
24:53why pieces of eight
24:54something to do with pirates and silver
24:57yes
24:57they often divided the silver spanish dollar into eight pieces
25:02and two of those eights made a quarter of a dollar
25:05which is why in america a quarter 25 cents is called
25:09a quarter
25:12two bits
25:13two bits
25:14in america they call it two bits
25:15two bits
25:16two pieces of eight
25:17i like after eights
25:20do you
25:22i wish i'd known that i'd bring you one
25:24i'll just say that because i went on a tv show once and i said i like quorn
25:26and i got sent a box of it
25:29i like twelve year old whiskey
25:31i thought i wish i'd said after eight
25:36apparently the actor that originally played long john silver in the first film adaptation
25:41invented that pirate voice
25:43you know the pirate voice that everyone does
25:45well robert newton is with that wasn't the first adaptation
25:48there were silent ones i mean as i say they've been thirty but
25:50well the silent one didn't have the voice
25:52exactly
25:52you said the first adaptation
25:54the first adaptation with the voice
25:56not the first talkie either
25:57what a stop at you
25:58no
25:59i thought it was quite an interesting fact
26:01that he invented that
26:02yeah everyone knows that
26:02it's robert newton's voice
26:03i mean there's a
26:04did everyone know that
26:05yes of course they did
26:07there's an international talk like a pirate day
26:09which is dedicated to robert newton
26:10if you ask people to do a part
26:12they'll go
26:12yeah yeah basically
26:14seems totally natural
26:15that's what he sounded like
26:16tony hancock
26:18made his name when he first became one of them
26:20by being a robert newton impersonator
26:23doing his
26:24and various other parts
26:26he was a very well known actor robert newton
26:27but nowadays people don't
26:28remember him
26:29anyway
26:30most of the actors who played captain flint
26:32were probably called polly
26:33or something similar
26:34because captain flint is the name of long john silvers parrot
26:36and finally
26:37that brings us
26:38of course
26:39to the scores
26:40ho ho
26:41look
26:42just listen
26:43to this
26:44last
26:46with minus eleven
26:48is david mitchell
26:53he did well
26:54he did for
26:56for a couple of them
26:58and only
26:59just ahead by one
27:00with minus ten
27:01is jimmy car
27:07we are now
27:09moving into the plus scores
27:11with a very creditable
27:13plus three
27:15phil jupitus
27:21ears and eyes do my
27:23eyes deceive me
27:24do your ears deceive you
27:26with plus thirteen
27:28allen
27:28davis
27:31what about that
27:33oh
27:39oh
27:40that's it
27:41from jimmy david phil
27:43allen and me
27:44and from columnist jerry dennis
27:46who had this to say
27:47that is neither here nor there
27:49i met a guy this morning with a glass eye
27:52he didn't tell me
27:53he just came out in the conversation
27:55laughing
27:56laughing
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