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00:05lovely thank you please welsh cake swedish chocolate
00:15let's go no no this is terrific i have been watching this oh there it is our passport to
00:25happiness really right come on wake up shaker wow shots fired pray you how to think yourself
00:37thin that's dramatic yeah in the week they sent captain kirk into space at the age of 90
00:46we enjoyed lots of great telly the deadly competition continued in the record-breaking
00:53netflix drama squid game what if they make us play congee or elastics then what do we do
00:59girls are usually the good ones that's true but when it really comes down to it usually men are
01:03better you completely agree with that don't you not in all cases i mean women can be better at
01:10parallel parking i'm just kidding did you enjoy the tea i made you the nuts i provided in the tiny
01:16bowl the lovely cookies i provided you with rob were they poison yeah whoopsies you scam
01:22alice levine still had more to learn about sex on channel four sexological bodywork is how we work
01:30through the body to learn about our body and our pleasure and our sex i left school when i when
01:35i
01:35finished my gcse's and so and then i went to a college and we didn't have have sex education at
01:42college and they did it at school but i'd already left so i still haven't had a sex education lesson
01:50oh i think it's a bit late now i'm literally learning on the job i was gonna say i was
01:56gonna say that
01:57and there were some underwater animals looking for love on the bbc they position themselves with great
02:05precision and she transfers all her eggs without losing a single one in it weird watching animals do it
02:16yeah but because it's on the bbc you can get away with it you know if i had this on
02:20my laptop at
02:21home and paige walked in she'd be going bonkers
02:30in wales even the idea of having ham and cheese and that kind of stuff for breakfast when i first
02:37came across that idea i did think that is a very peculiar thing to do that's what your parents
02:41say the first time that we were having breakfast at their place and i was having ham on toast michael
02:46and his partner anna your mom and dad was it ham on toast is that what my dad said yes
02:52pretty much
02:53no i think he was asking first and then your mom came into the room and he had to like
02:57tell her i read i read come and see what she's doing here no come and see you won't believe
03:05it ham
03:07on toast oh lovely like they do on the continent oh very european on tuesday night our taste buds were
03:17tingling again as the bakers were back in the big white tent i genuinely love this do you yeah for
03:23you
03:23going sir oh thank you well i missed her you're spoiling us with these kegis i know
03:30hey hey oh
03:33bye michelle's baking dance
03:43the great british bake-off now coming into its 100th year i think the thing i like about the
03:50great british bake-offs most is that i've won it how do you feel sitting in a room watching
03:55with a winner you haven't baked a single thing since for your technical challenge evil pru would
04:03like you each to make four individual sticky toffee puddings love a sticky toffee pudding oh my god is
04:12there anything better to say in succession than sticky toffee pudding they're some good words aren't
04:17they yeah sticky toffee pudding yeah you have 90 minutes on your marks get set and bake here we go
04:25i've never ever made one oh maggie for god's sake you're letting us down we'll see how it goes
04:33this may be i never have before may never ever again i wouldn't know where to begin i've got some
04:38butter and sugar in here i'm not sure if i need the flour huh not sure if you need the
04:44flour it's a cake
04:45maggie you need flour oh no maggie maggie maggie it's looking runny but stay with it mag don't
04:53change anything now oh look at that that's gonna have to be in the oven for a long time into
05:00next
05:00week's challenge yes she'll still be there in the final exactly they're nearly ready it's almost there
05:05i must have left something out but i don't think i did it's all ticked off did she just missed
05:09the
05:10flower and the other page is no flower no there is flower oh there's a second page yeah oh right
05:19that's the difference between maggie and me at that point i'd be going what that yes she just
05:24maggie's like ah right yeah she knew it was wrong she was going that's weird there's no flour in it
05:29it and now helpfully helpfully now that it's in the oven has gone no there is flour there bakers you
05:36have five minutes left wait five minutes what are you gonna do what would you do in that situation
05:42i'd leave time to get them out shaky shaky shaky there's sticky toffee pudding
05:51jesus oh it's a sticky toffee balls up love taxi from maggie
05:56let's go for it time to get them out i wouldn't even bother turning them out mag
06:10oh maggie she won't be getting a hollywood handshake for that
06:15look at the state of that
06:20is it too late to put the flower in now anybody watching will feel very sorry for me i'm not
06:27saying i wouldn't eat it you'd eat it yes i would eat it and she must be punished yeah yeah
06:32didn't put
06:32the flower in because i thought it was one line on the next page didn't see it did i oh
06:38mad me one
06:38line on the next page i didn't put the flower in oh paul and prue were looking for four rich
06:44sticky
06:44toffee puddings oh see that's what they should look like where's maggie's come on mag let's see if we
06:52can spot maggie's along here silky toffee sauce smooth creme anglaise and eight perfectly crispy tuiles
06:59oh my god
07:04oh dear well funnily enough those tuiles look really good i've got a poop bag give it to maggie
07:11give it to maggie oh bless her do you know what it looks like caramelized onion chutney
07:18burnt with cinder oh oh oh don't
07:23because i feel so bad for her you're not gonna try i'll leave it thanks
07:30oh no see now i think that's not on he wouldn't even eat it one job to do the proof
07:37is in the pudding
07:38as they say yeah do you know what i like about maggie she balls is it up but she does
07:43it with a
07:43smile on her face yeah i would still eat it you wouldn't you defo would still eat it i'd lick
07:49the
07:49plate in north london i remember being very excited when we became neighbors yes friends rob
07:57and ashley do you remember when you came over and you were and you said through the letterbox thing you
08:02were like it's the most beautiful girl in the world and my boys were like well it can't be ashley
08:06or
08:07what do they say like and then they opened the door and they were like ashling like disappointed
08:12on friday afternoon it was all about the vowels and consonants as usual on channel four do you want
08:18one of these no i'm all right thanks i'm trying to watch my weight i know i shouldn't but i
08:25would
08:25imagine the average age of people watching it in the day is probably in the high 70s excellent so very
08:34much
08:34my demographic
08:42dun dun dun dun dun and dented there was a little bit of countdown in there yeah wow i've got
08:50the app on
08:51my phone countdown i like oh yeah i like countdown they're very clever
09:00oh hang on isn't annie and creature is doing this and robinson
09:08let's see if you can get six or more letters oh god i'm terrible
09:12terrible i'm good at banana grams are you well then you might be in with a shout let's meet our
09:18contestants ahmed you're still here she says that with such disappointment ahmed you're still here
09:25if you win this game you'll be an octo champ is that eight times it's got to be eight yeah
09:30yeah this is
09:31a smart man right here if he wins today he becomes an octo champ so now he's a septo champ
09:35he's a septo champ
09:36thank you so much and even if i don't become octo champ i'm really proud of how i've done he's
09:41about to be an octo champ the excitement is really bubbling over calm down tell your face you're excited
09:45your challenger today is carrie she's from berry carrie from berry hey carrie from berry
09:51carrie your letters thank you hi rachel hi carrie hello rachel what have you been up to that
09:58ah vowel you yep yep another vowel please a a for h p-rack try you right repeat papyrus and
10:12lastly e
10:1430 seconds all right 30 seconds let's go i can't see a word at all
10:20act that's all pat cats rats yurt yes
10:28pirate what is what does pirate mean i don't like a pirate no no you've got pirates you've got pirate
10:36p-i-r-a-t-e
10:38pirate yeah pirate yeah really really
10:46crap crap is in there a cute a cute oh no there's nowhere carrie uh just a six six i
10:59got the six
10:59just a six from carrie from berry you've got to do better than that carrie you've got to step it
11:03up
11:03love ahmed seven oh oh my god a seven is it do the longest word you can with these yeah
11:09oh i didn't even
11:10know the game carrie you're six uh piracy what's it in berry carrie from berry ahmed pick rates huh
11:18what what i'm sorry sorry what was that i'm ahead pick rates i don't even there's not even an s
11:23in
11:23there pick rate is a salt of picric acid which is used in the manufacture of explosives what what
11:29wow pick rate who knows that i've made any bums recently so a bit rusty it's carrie's turn come on
11:38carry a fin barrier start with a consonant please i would start with a consonant i would start with a
11:42consonant get you in the mood h and a vowel u and a consonant g hug hug hug i do
11:51those vowel
11:53e huge and lastly e start the clock okay come on saransky come on now i've got one one yeah
12:07mung bean mung m u n g there's no one there's no b yeah there's no b wang me is
12:18wang a word
12:19kerry uh six kerry from berry's got six ahmed yeah six as well really stupid six oh only six ahmed
12:31oh how the mighty fall kerry you're six uh menage oh menage like nikki menage ahmed when you're who
12:40when you are when you are hang on sorry when you're what does it mean no clue oh my god
12:48he doesn't know
12:49what it means but he just knows the word he's just making up now i can tell you what it
12:53means it's a
12:54word it's maori um english so from new zealand and it means the land how do you know that i
13:00mean
13:00that's ridiculous impressive i feel like you shouldn't be able to say words if you don't
13:05know what they mean no he was just taking a punt but then i suppose that's um you know
13:23in north london i saved you from being wet through where you were wet through and then i saved you
13:28did you oh it's in the torpedo tube remember you went through in the torpedo tube friends saran and adam
13:33you didn't know how to fucking get me out in fact you were so rubbish the stunt coordinator is saying
13:38you just take grab her i kept doing no no no i'll tell you what you did you made noises
13:43like i was
13:45that was what you do if you're pulling dead weight you were concerned that you were like a heifer lump
13:49i was doing you were doing acting noise and as i was pulling you out in the corner of your
13:53mouth
13:53you're going i'm not that heavy started so much noise you were doing this yeah
14:00if you just had to lift me that's it slide you out yeah on sunday night
14:05attenborough is back with more intimate secrets from the natural world
14:12what is it it's called the mating game and it'll be david that brings brilliant about
14:16these amazing animals you shouldn't really be excited to watch animals mate but it's good viewing
14:25the mating game let's watch them going at it hopefully we'll pick up some tips
14:31in the episode david took us deep under the ocean
14:36these flamboyant creatures are nudibranchs nudibranchs nudibranchs i've never heard of him
14:43they're vivid colors and elaborate patterns are certainly not ways of attracting the attention
14:49of the opposite sex oh for nudibranchs are in fact blind oh are they they can't see their own beauty
14:59suit me though they say love is blind don't they yeah flatworms like nudibranchs are also both male and
15:06female and blind also bloody worm flatworm but that is where the similarity ends wow look at that
15:16i quite like to mate with that myself oh so beautiful i wouldn't go that far when it comes to
15:22mating
15:22it's also somewhat aggressive oh an aggressive mate well i like an aggressive mater oh hang on does it kill
15:30the thing it mates okay i don't want that aggressive i meant just a little like yeah come here babe
15:35it has
15:35sensed the presence of another flatworm uh oh a potential partner oh okay to start with they seem
15:44wary of one another well you would be if it's going to be aggressive you know it's either going to
15:48kick me head in or shag me each of them is trying to avoid the labor of looking after the
15:53fertilized
15:54eggs oh typical they both want the nookie but don't want to look after the egg so if one does
16:02the
16:02be inseminating listen to you scientist thank you dr visage thank you then the other one could
16:10leave and the other one has to then have give birth and take care of the mine the eggs it's
16:15a tale as
16:15old as time it is rearing up each reveals its two-pronged penis huh two wrongs well some people might
16:26like that wow i don't even have one prong we've got so much a prong it's more those are more
16:35like
16:35nubbins i think they look almost more like little boobs mm-hmm little mini penis boobs
16:42and now they fence with their penises they're fencing with the penises it's like being in boarding school
16:52each tries to stab and inseminate the other without being stabbed first what do you mean stabbed oh my
16:59god oh i'd be in and out i would how you gotta go boom boom boom god you normally are
17:11spunk there's that little spunk everywhere tanyo i know what that stuff is yeah
17:16that don't squander it you need a box of kleenex it can be hard to go twice rapidly one after
17:22the
17:22other a strike anywhere on the body will fertilize you can go anywhere anywhere you like pick a spot
17:31pregnant yeah that kind of the baby oh god because the babies pregnant that's really easy i mean
17:37well they're blind someone well so god give them a chance
17:46there's your chance go
17:49wow got him it's in yet it's in a successful strike and sperm is injected into the rival
18:01that's some rough shit man the impregnated fat worm is left with the scar and the labor of laying the
18:08eggs oh how annoying yeah look at the white stuff on the back it's quite a large load for a
18:15flat
18:15worm no it's like monica's dress it is oh well we just swims off no kiss me ass thanks or
18:25nothing
18:26will the impregnated at least visit at the time of birth bring a cigar wow it's rough down in the
18:34ocean
18:34i mean it was beautiful and yet strangely depressing yeah
18:39this week channel four showed us liam's story
18:44my mum is the best person she's just like just the best mom ever like he's a cool guy ain't
18:53he
18:53i agree with you as well liam mommies are the best isn't it it's just so full of energy
19:00he's just like such a good kid oh i was just playing my xbox i just felt kind of like
19:08a pain
19:08on my knee and i looked down it was kind of like a lump oh god you don't expect that
19:13as a young
19:14lad do you no obviously it's a parent i just literally put it down to a pulled ligament tendon
19:19something simple why would you think anything else though you won of course you don't think no
19:29so we drove up to the hospital just me and liam i remember he had the scans in the morning
19:36and then they said to me the consultant needs to speak to you and it's very serious
19:42and she just said yeah unfortunately he's got bone cancer
19:50it's like the end of your world isn't it really to hear something like that
19:54there's nothing there's no words that could describe how it feels to be told that your child's
19:59got cancer you can't imagine it can you i can't even begin to conceive that's just an
20:12unbearable thought no parent should have to go through this the tumor was growing in his knee and
20:19had started to spread to other parts of his body oh no it puts you on that like panic mode
20:28anything
20:29could happen when you got it why is a kid having to panic it's mad isn't it there is a
20:35lot of side
20:35effects to the chemotherapy like it's there's a lot the side effects were shocking he just got it
20:43horrendously bad they did warn us that this would happen it punishes your body oh my god oh
20:52it's like someone punching me like so much in the belly but it just hurts that much oh no
20:59i think at his worst point i think he went 10 days without eating or drinking
21:08oh god i can't imagine what that is like he went so drawn and so pale and he looks so
21:16poorly
21:17oh they just don't look like your child it's hard
21:24i'm in the hospital now in stanmore got the surgery and i just have to go down and you're in
21:30it now
21:31oh darling oh jesus he's going through murder really we hope with the operation and the chemo
21:39the cancer has stopped spreading and we can just get on with our lives oh i hope so
21:45even though i can't do things that my mates can do such as football and all that oh you know
21:51just
21:52so relieved that it's over and hopefully i don't have to go through it again yeah that's it he shouldn't
21:58have to be bloody worrying about that should he should just be playing football with his mates
22:03i just want him to be able to experience everything he wants to experience and then
22:08hope and pray that he goes on to live a normal happy life and it never comes back i hope
22:16so too
22:16he's an inspiration that's all you want for your kids isn't it yeah for them to have a full happy
22:22life
22:22yeah
22:30oh no
22:34oh no no no no no no no no no no oh god
22:50It just doesn't bear thinking about, do you know what, cancer, it just doesn't discriminate, does it?
22:55No. Adults, children, old, young, it just ruins people's lives, doesn't it?
23:04You just wish him all the love in the world? Absolutely.
23:09One in two of us will get cancer in our lifetime. Help us fight back.
23:14To give £30, £20 or £10, text 3020 or £10 to 70404 or donate online at channel4.com forward slash
23:25SU2C.
23:26100% of the money you give will fund life-saving cancer research.
23:39In London...
23:40There's always white wine for you, is it your thing?
23:42Sometimes gin, sometimes vodka.
23:43Oh, okay.
23:44Sometimes whatever's there.
23:45Depends on the day?
23:46Yeah, sometimes it's mouthwash.
23:49Exactly.
23:50Yeah, battery acid.
23:51Oh, I'll take it.
23:53Friends Graham and Michelle.
23:55Even when your mother pushed you into Manhattan to go nightclubbing, you never drank?
23:59Never drank.
24:00Was it bad drinking around you or you didn't like the taste?
24:03No, I don't...
24:03A, I don't like the taste.
24:04B, I hate to be out of control.
24:06It's a Virgo thing.
24:07I don't like to not be in control.
24:08C, I become a 100% total slag when I drink.
24:12Oh.
24:13Fully uncontrollably.
24:14I don't black out.
24:15I just have zero inhibitions and zero boundaries.
24:18I will overstep no matter what situation I'm in.
24:21So I realized that's not going to behoove me.
24:24No.
24:24No.
24:25No.
24:26No.
24:26But I am fun.
24:29Yeah, we've had enough of that.
24:32I'll keep this aware.
24:34I'll keep this over here.
24:35You just...
24:36On Monday night, there was another installment of this racy documentary series on Channel 4.
24:42Oh, it's the bloody Alice Shagging Show, Ellie.
24:46This is terrific.
24:47I have been watching this.
24:48I want to watch it.
24:49I just don't want to watch it with my mum.
24:52I'm Alice Levine.
24:53Hi.
24:54Hello, Alice.
24:55And I'm stepping out of my comfort zone to embark on a journey of sexual discovery.
25:00Might get some ideas.
25:02Hello.
25:03Or not.
25:04That's it, Phoenix.
25:05You'll fuck me.
25:07No.
25:07No.
25:08No.
25:09Oh, my goodness.
25:10Excuse me.
25:11Excuse me.
25:12And this as well, I think.
25:13That is a heroically big cock.
25:16Have you ever said in your life, that is a heroically big cock?
25:22No.
25:23Yeah.
25:23And you'd have to be a heroically big cock to say that.
25:27This time, I'm exploring the extraordinary world of sex and wellness.
25:32Sex and wellness.
25:34I think they go hand in hand, sex and wellness.
25:37We'd all be nicer people if we were just a little bit more orgasmic.
25:40You know, I mean, how many times have you heard me say that?
25:47Sex, actually.
25:48Oh, good.
25:49Thank you, Alice Levine.
25:50We love a bit of porn.
25:52Who does?
25:54Who are you speaking for?
25:56I don't.
25:57Neither do I.
25:59Armed with a healthy dose of scepticism, I signed up to one of the latest crazes designed
26:04to improve your life.
26:06Ooh.
26:06What could the latest craze be?
26:09Oh, Jesus.
26:10God only knows.
26:11A technique intriguingly named full body orgasm.
26:14Lovely.
26:15You have one of those?
26:17I don't think so.
26:18Not recently.
26:18No.
26:19So many women go through life not experiencing orgasm.
26:22Well, now they're going to have a full body.
26:23Can't freaking wait.
26:25Let me get my notepad.
26:27Running the workshop was Jem, a certified sexological body worker.
26:32Okay.
26:33Never heard of that.
26:33What is sexological body work?
26:36Yeah, what is it?
26:37Mum, over to you.
26:40Sexological body work is how we work through the body to learn about our body.
26:44and our pleasure.
26:45How do you get your pleasure?
26:46Yes.
26:47Ooh, that would be telling.
26:50Sudoku.
26:50No.
26:51No.
26:51Bridge.
26:52Clothes shopping.
26:53Clothes shopping.
26:54What is a full body orgasm?
26:56Yeah.
26:57Yeah.
26:57So full body orgasm is how can we feel?
27:00Look at her nodding.
27:01Yeah, whatever.
27:02I was just thinking, will the upper crust still be open at the station when I get back?
27:07I've had a particularly brilliant experience with my ankles a few years ago.
27:11What was that?
27:12Her ankles.
27:13You've had an anklegasm?
27:14Yeah.
27:14An anklegasm?
27:16An anklegasm.
27:17Come here.
27:18Put me that ankle.
27:21Are you, like, feeling the same thing in your ankle?
27:25Seemingly, it's emanated from there, all over your body.
27:27Fingers, nose.
27:29A little nose orgasm?
27:31Mm-hmm.
27:31Like...
27:32It might not be little.
27:33And in your case, my friend...
27:35It's rather large.
27:37Oh, I know.
27:38Tell me about it.
27:39There's a type of orgasm in the world.
27:41It's the one that we might see in pornography.
27:43Taking notes.
27:44It usually involves hard, fast friction.
27:49I'm more interested in a slow build which fluctuates over time.
27:56It builds slowly and then it fluctuates.
27:59Please.
28:00I mean...
28:03Like, we've got to take our chances when we get them.
28:06I know.
28:06You might want to put your pillows and your water bottles to the side so that nothing gets
28:10knocked over.
28:11Mateway.
28:12Give me some room.
28:13And find a place of standing and take up space.
28:17Here we go.
28:17This is going to be the most uncomfortable thing ever, isn't it?
28:20Yeah.
28:20I'm not looking forward to this.
28:22I am.
28:23Bending the knees.
28:26What the fuck?
28:35Letting out sound.
28:39Squeezing.
28:41And releasing.
28:43And loosening the knees.
28:45Oh.
28:50Squeeze and release.
28:52Ah.
28:53Ah.
28:54Ah.
28:57I'm lost, isn't it?
29:04If I was there and I was going, ah, ah, ah, I'd get myself a WhatsApp and I'd be like,
29:12ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to orgasm again after this.
29:22This week, Channel 4 showed us Cassie's story.
29:31She's very joyful.
29:34This must be Cassie.
29:35If she saw anybody in need, um, she was there.
29:39She was bright, bubbly.
29:41Ah, she's beautiful.
29:43So beautiful.
29:44When we discovered, um, that we were expecting, I don't think words can describe, um, what that
29:52was like.
29:53These stories are stuff so happy, don't they?
29:55Yeah.
29:56I remember once Clyde came out.
29:58Oh, look at him.
29:59Oh.
30:00And then I took him out, uh, to come and see the family.
30:03And everybody was just like, hooray.
30:07As you do with the birth of a baby.
30:09So proud, isn't it?
30:10You can tell that's a happy memory for him, can't you?
30:19Yeah.
30:19Oh, look at him all that happy.
30:20We're a beautiful family, eh?
30:22Yeah.
30:22Yeah.
30:28Oh, no.
30:42Oh, no.
30:46We went to the clinic.
30:47But then after about 18 months, I found another lump in the other breast.
30:52Oh, God.
30:54Oh, God.
31:10Man.
31:10Jesus.
31:11I took him up to intensive care because he was too ill to move.
31:14I had the scans and then they just came in the room and said, he's got cancer.
31:21It's in his brain.
31:26I remember the doctors telling us he'd only got a number of weeks before he was going to go.
31:37Oh, my God.
31:39That was tough because...
31:49Oh, God.
31:50This poor man.
31:51Gone.
31:52He just deteriorated really, really quickly.
31:55Oh.
31:57And we slowly watched this little boy who was so funny, so intelligent.
32:05He slowly just disappeared.
32:07Just this child laying there, he just disappeared.
32:18I remember Cassie, she had a hand on his chest.
32:25And then, yeah, he went.
32:30I think they lost everything that day.
32:43Oh, no.
32:46Oh, no.
32:49Oh, he was nine years old.
32:56Nine years old.
32:58How is that even allowed to happen?
33:01How is that even allowed to happen?
33:14Cassie was quite poorly by then, and it was just empty.
33:18There was nothing there anymore.
33:19Oh, no.
33:20The cancer was everywhere.
33:21They did some scans and they found some...
33:23Some in my rib, some in my pelvis, and then I've got the bit on my lung and my liver.
33:30Oh, God.
33:31And then on the breast wall, it's everywhere, basically.
33:34I can't do anything.
33:42Just have it back again.
33:53ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES
33:57Oh, God.
34:03OK.
34:07People like Kai and his mum shouldn't have to, you know,
34:12lose their lives so young.
34:14They've got their whole lives to live.
34:17And they've been taken from them.
34:20One in two of us will get cancer in our lifetime.
34:23Help us fight back.
34:25To give 30, 20 or 10 pounds, text 3020 or 10 to 70404
34:31or donate online at channel4.com forward slash SU2C.
34:37100% of the money you give will fund life-saving cancer research.
34:49In Leeds...
34:50Ready? Yeah, you.
34:53Oh!
34:55One more, one more, cos we're getting it, we're getting it.
34:57Friends Calvin and H.
35:05There we go.
35:07It's not in, it's not in!
35:09Right, it's done.
35:11On Monday night, there were more posh people parading around West London on E4.
35:16Oh, my exercise ring's just gone off.
35:18I beg your pardon.
35:20But I haven't been doing anything.
35:22What's got...
35:22My hand's been there, but I've not been...
35:23The combination of you saying ring and the hand there, I...
35:26What?
35:27Ooh!
35:27New Made in Chelsea, Ellie!
35:29Made in Chelsea.
35:30Oh, yeah, Made in Chelsea.
35:30I've never seen it.
35:31I've never seen this.
35:34I've never seen Towie.
35:36I have seen Towie.
35:36I like Towie, actually.
35:37Yeah.
35:41So, they're all in relationships.
35:43They all...
35:43I think they all sleep with each other, or they all have slept with each other.
35:46They have these little hissy fits at a polo match.
35:49This makes me want to move to Chelsea and start talking properly and have elocution lessons.
35:54I'll be like, oh, hello, my name's Stephen.
35:56Oh!
35:57In the episode, we saw a couple James and Maeva setting their friends up on a blind date.
36:03How you doing?
36:04Hi.
36:05Angus, this is Paris.
36:07Do you know each other?
36:08We have actually met before.
36:10Oh, my God, they already know each other?
36:12It was at a London Fashion Week event two years ago.
36:14Up here, that'd be, oh, yeah.
36:16I'll send you down.
36:17Asda.
36:17Yeah.
36:19Well, at least I know you like to party.
36:20I love partying.
36:21Yeah?
36:22And I can see you like partying as well.
36:24She absolutely loves to party.
36:26I like to party.
36:27You like to party.
36:28Yeah, I love to party.
36:29A party is what, you know, nine-year-olds are.
36:33Last time we were hanging out, you guys both liked to party.
36:35What's happened?
36:35Have you guys subdued?
36:37We grew up...
36:37Well, we've got a dog.
36:38We've got a flat.
36:40Once you have a dog, you can't party anymore.
36:42Yeah, you can't go anymore.
36:43Yeah, yeah, but...
36:44But what?
36:45Oh, no.
36:46Yeah, but...
36:47Spit it out, James.
36:49Well, go on date if you want to.
36:52James, you are skating on thin ice, mate.
36:55Are they going to start having a barney?
36:57I have to be very careful with my words.
36:58Yes, you do, James, because she is a firecracker.
37:01It's not right at home.
37:03It's not right at home for these two.
37:06Oh, there's an awkward silence.
37:08This is orcs.
37:09It's called orcs, man.
37:11More champagne, anyone.
37:14Single children.
37:15Bloody nightmare.
37:16What?
37:17What?
37:18She's going to kick off now.
37:19Yeah, she's about to kick off.
37:20People with siblings, they're fucking annoying as well.
37:24Oh!
37:28We're not annoying, are we?
37:30I don't think so.
37:31It's all about, like, family and doing games and all the time being with each other.
37:35There's really bad things, aren't they? Family and games and...
37:38I think she's just resigned herself for the fact now we're having a row.
37:44Fuck it.
37:45Well, she's going to get a lot of it because we're going down to Cornwall tomorrow.
37:49I'm actually not going.
37:51Oh!
37:51Mavis not going.
37:53That's a surprise for him.
37:54I love your family, but I don't want to go on holiday with you.
37:58Oh, dear.
37:59Picked a moment to tell him.
38:01Your family's great, but you're in our bed. I'm not going on holiday with you.
38:03We don't speak to each other. It's been months that we don't speak to each other.
38:07Wow.
38:08Okay, there's couples therapy 101 right there, my friend.
38:12Why do you mean that?
38:13You speak and I agree, and then we avoid an argument.
38:15That face is fantastic. That's exactly...
38:18This.
38:20You're a fucking asshole.
38:22No coming back from that, really, is there?
38:24You can face that we have a fucking problem.
38:28Why didn't you tell him before?
38:30It's been months that we're not okay.
38:31And yes, I'm saying that in front of them, and I'm sorry, I shouldn't...
38:35Oh, no.
38:36Oh, don't mind me. I'm loving it.
38:38Continue.
38:40That's what we would be like.
38:42Stop not taking me seriously.
38:44Oh, wow.
38:45Oh, she's really to its end here.
38:47She got out the wrong side of the bed this morning.
38:49The bed.
38:49Yes.
38:51I can't stand your prisons.
38:53Oh!
38:54Wow!
38:56Shots fired.
38:56They're done.
38:57They're done, done.
38:58You annoy me.
38:59Oh, my God.
39:00Everything you do, everything you say, annoys me.
39:04Oh, she's got the ache.
39:06Has she got to that point that she can't even stand the way he breathes?
39:09Yeah.
39:09All right, I'll go to Cornwall and join myself there without you.
39:11But I don't think it's a good idea.
39:14I feel like there was a big cultural clash there.
39:16I want passion.
39:17I want Cornwall.
39:19See, my idea of heaven is going to Cornwall.
39:23To see the family.
39:24With the board games.
39:25Yeah.
39:27Fire.
39:28Okay.
39:28Long walks on the beach.
39:29James.
39:30Not for Maver.
39:30James, are you listening to this, my friend?
39:33Give Saransky a call.
39:34Give me a call.
39:37In West London.
39:39Do you have a lot of popcorn in your life?
39:41Oh, it's delicious, isn't it?
39:42I could eat that whole bowl.
39:44Matt and his mum, Diana.
39:46Oh!
39:47Not bad.
39:48You did it!
39:49There's no way I'm going to be able to do it.
39:52What?
39:55Oh, God!
39:58I can do it like that, but I can't throw it in the air.
40:01Well, you just put that in your mouth.
40:03I know.
40:04You just put that in.
40:05That's all I can do.
40:06Oh, well.
40:07This week, Netflix's smash hit Squid Game
40:10had us back on the edge of our seats.
40:12I feel like I haven't watched anything
40:14that's been as good as this for ages.
40:17Mm.
40:17Like, I'm hook, line and sinkered.
40:19There's a hair in my nuts.
40:21Yes, you're welcome.
40:22Not a joke.
40:23Oh, thank you.
40:27Oh, Squid Game.
40:28Oh, no.
40:29I hate Squid.
40:31Yeah, it's not...
40:33Yeah.
40:33Is it like the queue, but in the end,
40:35Philip Schofield kills you?
40:36Essentially, yeah.
40:37Players, welcome to the third game.
40:40Oh.
40:41I wonder what the third game's gonna be.
40:43All players, please divide yourselves
40:45into teams of ten people.
40:46Sounds pretty easy to me.
40:48No, that's not the game, Sean.
40:52Oh, my man Gi-hun.
40:53What are you thinking?
40:55Our team already has a girl and an older guy.
40:58Don't underestimate the girls
41:00and don't underestimate the old men.
41:03Uh-oh.
41:04All right, this is the game room now.
41:06What have we got?
41:11One high-arthed platform.
41:13Are they gonna have to kind of jump across or something?
41:17Today's game is Tug of War.
41:20Tug of War.
41:21Oh, no.
41:22And it's not just bloody bog-standard Tug of War, is it?
41:25It's Tug of War to death.
41:27You'd be all right, wouldn't you, with those guns, eh?
41:31The old boy's gonna be getting pulled off.
41:34He wishes.
41:37That's not looking good for them, is it?
41:39No.
41:39It literally is all about being strong.
41:42A bit later, we saw a nervous Gi-hun and his team
41:46on their way up to the terrifying platform.
41:49Come on.
41:51Don't lose your spirit.
41:52He's about to say something with wisdom, though.
41:55Let me hear what he's about to say.
41:58Tug of War needs more than just raw strength.
42:01Exactly.
42:02There's tactics to it.
42:03This old boy, player one, is gonna know.
42:06Like if you Tug quickly.
42:09When I was young, we always liked Tug of War.
42:12It's a game I know well.
42:13Yeah.
42:13He knows, love.
42:15That old fella.
42:16He knows.
42:17And back then, I would always win.
42:20Oh.
42:20Yes.
42:21He would always win.
42:22Okay, great.
42:23Well, tell us how you did it.
42:24Listen closely, and I'll tell you.
42:27Yeah.
42:27Do.
42:28Do tell us.
42:28How my team and I were able to win, even when it seemed impossible.
42:33Right, sir.
42:34Spit it out.
42:35Can you hurry up?
42:35Because it's about to start.
42:36Player one, can you please speak fast?
42:40Oh, my God.
42:42That's actually like my recurring nightmare.
42:44And then, at the end of the road, you need to have someone strong and dependable,
42:50like the anchor of a ship.
42:51I have a big butt and big thighs.
42:54Lean back into it.
42:55Yeah, which I think would anchor me well.
42:58And then, hold the rope in your armpit.
43:01Take the strain.
43:02Once the game begins, for the first 10 seconds.
43:06Come on.
43:06This is it.
43:07Come on.
43:08You have to hold your ground.
43:10You should lean back.
43:12Look at that.
43:13Oh, my God.
43:13That is such a good strategy.
43:16This old man is actually useful.
43:18And throw your head back to the point where you can almost see the groin of the person
43:23behind you.
43:23The groin of the person behind?
43:25No.
43:26See the groin?
43:27Sounds like my kind of guy.
43:29Push your lower abdomen up so you're doing this.
43:31Just hold like this for 10 seconds.
43:34Fuck it.
43:35Look off his head.
43:37A little head.
43:37Yeah.
43:38If you can hold out for that long, you will be able to catch a moment when your opponents
43:44falter.
43:45Their feet are starting to slip.
43:47And their rhythm breaks.
43:50Right.
43:50Pull, pull, pull, pull.
43:52Now's our chance.
43:53Now that they know they've slipped.
43:54Look.
43:55Ooh.
43:58Go.
43:59Go.
43:59Go.
44:00Go.
44:00Yeah.
44:01Yeah.
44:02Yeah.
44:04Oh, they're only on the edge.
44:05I mean, I don't want to get too excited about people falling for their deaths.
44:12Oh, hold on.
44:13Oh.
44:13Oh, no.
44:14They're getting a bit of traction.
44:15They're pulling them back.
44:19Oh, shit.
44:20The flag's coming back.
44:26Oh, shit.
44:33The flag's coming back.
44:35Oh, no.
44:35Go back to doing the leaning back thing.
44:38It's too late.
44:39Too late.
44:40Let's try something.
44:42Take three steps up when I signal.
44:43Oh.
44:44Forward.
44:44Three steps forward.
44:45I don't know.
44:45What are you saying?
44:46Just trust me and they'll fall.
44:48Oh, they all do this.
44:49Come on, girls.
44:50You might as well try.
44:52Yeah, try.
44:53One.
44:54Two.
44:55Three.
44:56Go.
44:58Oh.
45:00Oh.
45:00Fucking hell.
45:02They fall.
45:03And now they pull.
45:04Go now.
45:05Now.
45:05Oh, no.
45:07Oh.
45:08Come on, man.
45:09You have to move it.
45:11Yank the bastard.
45:14They're doing it.
45:16Yes.
45:20Oh, no.
45:21What's he doing?
45:22He knows that they're going to die.
45:24He just realized, hang on.
45:25I'm sorry.
45:26I'm sorry, he's saying.
45:29Oh, this is horrible.
45:30This is so dark.
45:33You're open.
45:35Oh, and they're attached in the room.
45:39Oh, my God.
45:42Oh, my God.
45:43Oh, my God.
45:47Oh, my God.
45:53Oh, my God.
45:54Oh.
45:56That was brutal.
45:58Oh.
45:58He's so savage.
45:59Okay.
46:00What's the lesson we've learned there, Saransky?
46:02I mean, ultimately, no one wins the squid game.
46:05Well, except the person who wins.
46:37Well, except the person who wins.