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00:00I'll be an animal now, I'll give you a fact about it.
00:02Okay, erm...
00:04Really funny, erm...
00:06Dog?
00:07What's the biggest type of dog?
00:09No, she just said she would give you a fact,
00:11she didn't take to answer a question.
00:13A great Bernard
00:16is the biggest type of dog, isn't it?
00:18No, it's a great Dane.
00:19Great Dane, that's what I meant.
00:20But I know a great Dane called Bernard.
00:29They shouldn't be doing this.
00:31Oh my God, it goes, it goes, it goes!
00:38I think I'm offended.
00:40I like that.
00:41No matter what she takes part in, she's brilliant, isn't she?
00:45I don't believe it!
00:48It gets me!
00:50Oh no!
00:54This is an absolute treat for the eyes.
00:59In the year our Queen celebrated turning 90,
01:04we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:09BBC2 made caravanners compete with one another.
01:13To be crowned the club's inaugural Caravaner of the Year.
01:16I would love me and you to do this.
01:18We would be great at this.
01:20But we can't put up a tent for shite.
01:23Sarah Lancashire was back as the tormented cop in Happy Valley.
01:30Her daughter was raped by this lad in prison.
01:35Is it worth me watching it?
01:36You're telling me all about it.
01:38No, but because you haven't seen it,
01:39I'm just trying to get you into it.
01:40And there were more missions to matchmake on Channel 4.
01:49Oh, I love this programme!
01:52Could you do the bougie?
01:54It might happen in my French revision.
02:03In Brighton.
02:05Alex, I love your trousers.
02:07They're not trousers, they're leggings.
02:09Dad tried so hard to compliment you and he's still got it wrong.
02:13Oh, trousers, leggings, Van Gogh, Van Dyke.
02:17The Michaels.
02:18This is my favourite.
02:20My legs.
02:20Because even the patterns.
02:22They're great, aren't they?
02:22Even the patterns in the prints would be amazing.
02:24But the fact that they're on this colour is what makes it.
02:27Well, they're like a work of art.
02:29The only thing is that they're kind of like ruined.
02:32Why?
02:32Aren't they ruined?
02:34Why am I?
02:36What?
02:36They don't really care.
02:37No, that's the best bit.
02:38No, it's because I'm funky, cool, fresh.
02:40Yes!
02:41That's my aesthetic!
02:42Yes!
02:43The combination of art and sport.
02:47Sport logo.
02:47Yes!
02:49You're my sister!
02:51In April, there were more eager hopefuls trying to impress the judges on ITV.
02:58Love a bit of BGT.
02:59I do.
03:00I think Britain has got talent.
03:05Yeah, the best talent in the world.
03:08And there was one act that got Alicia all fired up.
03:17God, how many is that?
03:22Too many.
03:23Too many.
03:23I'm gonna count how many.
03:24Oh, my God!
03:25Um, and welcome.
03:29Uh, and your name is?
03:31We are the 100 voices of gospel.
03:35Amen!
03:36Woo!
03:37Ah, I love gospel singers.
03:38Oh, I do.
03:39I've never seen a shit gospel choir though of you.
03:42No.
03:44Ah, you obviously are American.
03:46Yes, I'm American.
03:48We've got some English people in our choir as well.
03:50Oh, that's good.
03:51Can you hold your hands up?
03:54There you are.
03:57One?
03:59One?
03:59One?
04:00One?
04:03I'm from England.
04:05This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, oh.
04:14I love this kind of music.
04:16This is gonna be uplifting.
04:18I can feel it already.
04:22Everywhere I go, I'm gonna let it shine.
04:32Oh, unbelievable voices.
04:34Let it shine.
04:40We'll let some of the others have a go then.
04:42What's gonna say?
04:43Let's go!
04:52Wow!
04:54Who was expecting that?
04:56Yeah, that's good.
05:00It's just like Sister Act!
05:03Oh my Lord!
05:05Let it shine!
05:07Let it shine!
05:08Let it shine!
05:09Let it shine!
05:10Let it shine!
05:10Let it shine!
05:12Let it shine!
05:13Let it shine!
05:14Just wait if she wants to shine in!
05:15I love it!
05:17Don't let it shine!
05:17I've got a light of fire!
05:21Let it shine!
05:21Don't she shine!
05:23Don't she shine!
05:24Let it shine!
05:24Let it shine!
05:24Thank you!
05:25Let it shine!
05:33Oh!
05:35Oh no!
05:36Oh!
05:36Oh!
05:37Oh!
05:38I'm not saying, I'm not saying
05:40I'm not saying, I'm not saying
05:42I'm not saying
05:43I'm not saying
05:44Oh my God!
05:50I'm not saying
05:51I'm not saying
05:52Hey, come on in the middle
05:53of the night shot real loud
05:54You've got a light to
05:56say they tell you what you do
05:58Say it
05:59Woo, hey!
06:01Say it, you said this!
06:03I'm not saying
06:04I'm not saying
06:04Come down
06:09How can this not make you happy who's it
06:12Well, give it some money girl
06:36Oh
06:41They got the gold bugger
06:47Everything you represent is my idea of heaven and I
06:51Honestly so proud to press the golden buzzer for an act that I believe
06:56Britain's got talent lead and you have just blown the roof off
07:00Why you absolutely
07:03That was beautiful, but it was lovely God I like the the rhythm and the gospel singing I've always liked
07:12that and
07:14Then they're crying. Yeah. Oh, yes full of emotion was very emotional wasn't it very emotional
07:21excellent
07:23In County Durham part of being a dad his DIY
07:29The Muffet's and I am waiting for the clock to be put on the wall. I also need a bulb
07:35in in the kitchen
07:38What type of
07:40Change type of bull one that lights all eyes is it one with two pins. I was just screwing one.
07:48I
07:48Actually have no clue what you're talking about dad metal. It's a metal bit with with a with glass this
07:52shape
07:53Yeah, but what's the metal bit look like? Is it a like that?
07:56Well, that was a good two pins
07:59Is that why I don't know?
08:01Independent now we should be able to change a light bulb kid. Oh dad to be fair. I don't change
08:05them
08:06See
08:08That's what you're here for
08:11Oh, it's the new slip
08:14Earlier in the year BBC news had a story about what men and women get paid
08:20Big companies which pay their female employees less than their male workers will be named and shamed in new league
08:26tables
08:27Due to be published in two years time good
08:29Rightly so so they should and about time to
08:34This should be named and shamed latest figures show that women in the UK earn on average 20% less
08:40than men
08:4120% less oh, that's a lot that
08:4520 pence, so that's like 20% not 20p. No, but if you were like was on a pound an
08:50hour and I was on a and I'd be on 80p well
08:54Well, oh, it's infuriating. I can't believe that it is 2016
08:59We're still having to beg to be equal
09:02I haven't yeah, I haven't a protest
09:05I haven't a protest to get the same amount of money for doing the same job doing the same job
09:10But because someone's got a little penis they get more
09:16I don't know what's anything to do with the size of it
09:18In the report they showed a clever campaign video to highlight the issue for women today the pay gap still
09:26needs topping up
09:28That is a full point
09:29She shouldn't get the right mark because she doesn't know what a pint is
09:33So she should be paid the right money
09:34The government says it's trying to make things fairer by forcing big employers to publish the difference in pay and
09:42bonuses between male and female staff
09:45What stupid advert
09:47Yeah
09:47Because women don't get paid the same as men. They're not gonna get the same sort of shave or
09:54Or the same sort of point
09:58I think minimum wage minimum work
10:01That's my matter
10:04Companies will hopefully and we expect them from the response we've had to think a lot harder about where women
10:10are in their workforce
10:11In this situation sees the women and equality
10:15Yeah
10:16But do we have a men's minister
10:17Is there a men's minister?
10:19I don't know
10:20Why are you getting involved in?
10:21Why are you getting involved in?
10:22Why are you getting involved in?
10:22Shut up a minute you
10:25Let's equal things up a bit in
10:26No you want it all one way don't you
10:27You want me to open the doors on that for you but you want the same money
10:59That's good manners
11:00If the women weren't getting the same salary for doing the same job
11:04And I mean I do differentiate there
11:07Oh right
11:07The same job I would be annoyed
11:08Yes
11:09But the government and many women hope these measures will help cut
11:13The gender pay gap
11:15Emma Simpson, BBC News
11:17Well that's an interesting item
11:19We've always been ahead of the times haven't we Mary?
11:22What?
11:22You've always been paid far more than me
11:24Well is that anything to do with my work output?
11:27Oh, I'd never thought of that
11:29All these companies must employ more women because it's cheaper
11:32They probably do
11:33Do you know what I mean?
11:34That is
11:34Employ a woman to do a man's job
11:37But at a woman's rate of pay
11:39Because they don't think
11:40There's no such thing as a man's job ma'am
11:42No
11:42We're all equal
11:43Take that back now
11:44That's the
11:45See you're conforming to them
11:46I worded it wrong
11:47No you did word it wrong
11:49I worded it wrong
11:49Because that's what
11:50That's what they want you to think
11:51The fact that you
11:52Come on you join us meals are we
11:53The fact that you said that then
11:55No
11:55The fact that you said there
11:57To do a man's job
11:58What the fuck is a man's job?
12:00And I dig in holes I summed
12:02Well I can't a woman dig a hole
12:03I'd fucking dig a hole if I wanted to dig a hole
12:05Well I can dig a hole but not as well as a man
12:08Oh my god
12:09Oh hey hey
12:09That's honest to god
12:11Well them women burn their bras for nothing
12:13This is why
12:14This is why women are on 10% less
12:15For women like you
12:17You need to sort your head out you
12:20You need to get it sorted ma'am
12:23Thank you
12:31In Wiltshire
12:32Look this goes very well with your jumper Mary
12:35I just don't know if it's meant to be ironic
12:38No it's because I think it's exquisitely beautiful
12:42Giles had bought himself a present
12:44It is absolutely beautiful
12:46It's stunning isn't it
12:47The beauty of a budgerigar without any of the inconvenience
12:51Of budgie poo
12:54Food
12:54Food
12:55Cage
12:55Yeah
12:57Not to mention nesting material
12:58And mirrors
12:59Don't budges like mirrors
13:01Yeah
13:01You've got to have a mirror in a cage
13:03So as far as I'm concerned
13:06That's the way forward
13:07Poly resin pets
13:10In February
13:12In February
13:13BBC 2 organised a holiday for some famous pensioners
13:16Oh I love this
13:19Oh I love this
13:19Yes it is lovely isn't it
13:20Oh
13:23India
13:24A country bursting with colour and beauty
13:28I don't have words
13:30For that
13:31I love her
13:32It's Miriam Margolis
13:34Is this the way to the market then?
13:36I don't know
13:36Do you remember Wait to Sleep?
13:38Obviously not
13:39Who's Wait to Sleep?
13:39The ballet dancer
13:40With year round warm weather
13:42And a low cost of living
13:45Could it be the perfect place to retire?
13:48It's about celebrities living in India
13:51Really?
13:52Yeah they said it's a classic
13:57I've always longed to go to India
13:59And be in a home
14:01Yeah but we've left it too late now
14:02In the programme the celebrity OAPs were out and about
14:07Mingling with the locals
14:08Would you like a pen?
14:11Yes
14:11There we are
14:12You know don't break the bank
14:14Yes
14:14Would you like a pen?
14:15No
14:16How condescending is that
14:18Would you like a pen?
14:19What is a child that age going to do with a pen really?
14:22Draw
14:23Draw
14:24In another bit of the show
14:26The pensioners were taken to the park
14:28This is one of the biggest park of Jaipur
14:31Which opens at 5.30 in the morning
14:34And all people come here for jogging, walking
14:37Do yoga
14:39I don't think I'd like exercising in all the hate
14:43We never exercised in the cold let alone the eight
14:46What are you talking about?
14:47Yeah
14:47Yeah
14:50Laughing yoga is thought to have started in Jaipur in the 1970s
14:54Using self-induced laughter to improve well-being
15:00Makes me laugh just watching them
15:02Oh ha ha ha
15:03Oh it's laughing yoga
15:04Well try that
15:06You want to try that in England then
15:10Do you have to keep laughing then?
15:13Yeah
15:13Yeah but I think the biggest thing is getting over the fact that you look like a mug for laughing
15:17and laughing
15:33You can make yourself laugh
15:35Yeah
15:36Come on Bob comments
15:37You start, that's it
15:39Yeah.
15:40I don't think I'm fake last.
15:42Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
15:43Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha.
15:45Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
15:47You're fine.
15:49Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
15:49You're doing it, that one.
15:50Me, me.
15:51It's infectious, man.
15:52Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
15:56Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
16:01-ha-ha-ha-ha.
16:01You're completely calm.
16:03That one's not the same.
16:04It's not the same.
16:05So, you're taking us away, aren't we?
16:21I'd rather laugh naturally than bring on a sort of asthma attack of laughing
16:32Josh, where are you going for the night? I'm going to the theatre. With who? A friend. The tappers. What
16:40are you going to say? A friend. Friend. Friend. What are you going to say? Name is? Hey girlfriend, let's
16:45go to the theatre. Leave him alone, because you know what, if you start with him, then he'll never tell
16:52us anything. He's laughing at all.
16:56You're making a fuss, OK? But I tell him things, and he doesn't tell me, and then I go all
17:02upset because I hear it from his friends. Joshy. Leave me alone.
17:09In April, there was a startling revelation about the food world on BBC News.
17:15One of the country's biggest food manufacturers has told shoppers that some of their products have so much sugar and
17:22salt in them, they shouldn't be eaten more than once a week.
17:25I've heard about this.
17:26Mars, which makes dolmio sauces and Uncle Ben's rice, is introducing new labelling to distinguish between what it calls everyday
17:33foods and occasional ones.
17:35So that's what they're going to start and call it everyday food, occasional food.
17:39Occasional, when you've been good, you'll get it.
17:42I thought those were healthy foods.
17:44Yeah?
17:45When we were kids, and mum would make spaghetti bolognese or something like that from scratch homemade, you'd slag and
17:53say that you wanted dolmio, and you wouldn't eat the homemade.
17:58I only wanted the dolmio.
17:59There has been growing concern around the amount of salt, sugar and fat hidden in prepared sauces, and the impact
18:06they're having on our health.
18:08I always buy these jars of sauces. It's just because they're so convenient, like when you just need a really
18:13quick meal.
18:13So, concentrating just on sugar content, in this jar of Lloyd Grossman tomato sauce, there are the equivalent of four
18:21teaspoons of sugar.
18:22A jar of napolina sauce contains five teaspoons, but this dolmio sauce, in a slightly larger jar, has the equivalent
18:29of seven teaspoons of sugar.
18:32Seven!
18:33Seven!
18:33Seven!
18:33Literally seven teaspoons of sugar in the pasta jar.
18:37Oh, I just feel so betrayed by dolmio.
18:41Why?
18:42Because I just can't believe how much shite there is in it. I mean, I know it won't grow.
18:45Well, what did you expect?
18:48So, yours is fairly benign, your bolognese.
18:51Even so, I usually put a tablespoonful of sugar to make it taste nice.
18:56You do not do that.
18:58Oh, I've only just confessed that.
18:59You've never done that before.
19:01I have, every single one. Why do you think they taste so nice?
19:03Have you really done it?
19:05Because I have a sweet tooth.
19:07No, Natty, you're lying.
19:08I can't have a relationship with you if you're going to sort of tease me.
19:12I have not. I always put a little bit of sugar into a bolognese sauce.
19:18In the wake of the sugar tax on fizzy drinks, some health experts believe Mars is being clever,
19:23making sure it's well positioned ahead of any possible legislation in the future.
19:27But what I don't understand is that rather than say, hang on a minute, only use this
19:32once a week, less sugar, less salt, that's right.
19:39Because they're going to lose money.
19:41I watch that now, yeah?
19:42Mm-hmm.
19:42And all I can think of is I wanted to, I wanted a ketchup sandwich.
19:47What do you want?
19:48Ketchup sandwich?
19:49I love it.
19:50With butter and nice ketchup.
19:52And then ping, ping, ping.
19:54Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar.
19:55Yeah, but that is so lovely.
19:57It is so lovely.
19:59I'll tell you what, I've only just found out that when something says no added sugar,
20:04it still has sugar in it.
20:06Oh, yeah.
20:07Well, added sugar is where they add sugar into it.
20:10That doesn't mean it doesn't have any sugar in before.
20:11I know, but I've just...
20:12You just realised that?
20:14Yeah.
20:15Just recently, I genuinely thought that no added sugar meant that there was, like,
20:19not a lot of sugar in it at all.
20:20Scarlet, I'm a nine-year-old and even I know that.
20:22And you're 25.
20:27In Manchester.
20:29You know, if you have a colonic irrigation...
20:33No, don't start that.
20:34No, listen, that helps you with bad breath.
20:38Bad breath?
20:39Yeah.
20:40The Malones.
20:41Depression, frequent cold, hypoglycemia,
20:47and it's £60 for your first treatment.
20:50I'm thinking of having it done.
20:53Channel 4 launched a strange new comedy this year.
20:57It can't be a dat comedy.
21:04You love Olivia Colman, don't you?
21:06I love Olivia Colman!
21:07She's my favourite!
21:09I'm just worried that Olivia Colman doesn't seem to have any sort of family life, Mary.
21:14She's in everything all the time.
21:16Yeah.
21:19We'll have it all to show the people of ourselves to you.
21:28Oh, flowers.
21:30Hmm.
21:30It's on for a week, isn't it?
21:32Is it?
21:32Hmm.
21:33In the episode, Olivia Colman and a moody husband Morris
21:37were throwing a party for their anniversary.
21:41Hooray!
21:42Hello, Debra.
21:43Hello.
21:45Ooh!
21:46Ooh!
21:46On the lips!
21:48Oh, God.
21:49Steady on!
21:50No, I can't control myself around you, Debra.
21:52The sexual tension is just unbearable.
21:55Oh, I ain't never had a party that could kiss you like that.
21:58No.
21:58I'm glad you haven't.
21:59Hi, Debra.
22:00Hi.
22:01He's hilarious about that, isn't he?
22:02Jesus Christ.
22:04She looks like a stuffed vine leaf.
22:09Donald's inside.
22:11I was given a whole crate of this as a thank you for a new forehead.
22:15Oh, new forehead.
22:16Fancy.
22:17Ooh, la, la.
22:18That could be me and you.
22:22Hilarious.
22:22She just wants to be perfect.
22:24Yeah.
22:25She's putting on, like, this whole front the whole time.
22:27Hi.
22:27She wants people to love.
22:28It's simply wonderful.
22:30What are you cooking?
22:32That's just Donald's special cheese.
22:34Smells like shit.
22:39That's my kind of guest.
22:40I don't know whether or not to laugh or cry.
22:42That's the best bit.
22:44So, everyone, this is George.
22:45He's a plastic surgeon and his daughter, Abigail,
22:48who's training to be a very clever lawyer.
22:50Abigail.
22:51That's her real face.
22:52I haven't touched her.
22:57Morris.
22:58How are you?
22:59Yep.
23:04Does that remind you of?
23:06Who?
23:08This is like the party from hell.
23:10I mean, it's quite painful to watch.
23:13I don't know about everybody else,
23:14but I'm in the mood for a bloody boogie.
23:26One Earth, is she playing?
23:37You need English sense of humour to find this really nice and funny.
23:43As a medical professional, I just find you fascinating.
23:46Oh, he's dancing to it.
23:48That's so funny.
23:49I almost want to take a mole just to mount on my wall.
23:52Oh, goodness.
23:53Stop it, George.
23:54Making me feel like one of those glamour models.
23:56Excuse me.
24:02Cheer up, Barry.
24:04You don't seem to be showing this lady much respect, sir.
24:08Oh, he's going to go for him, no, because he's jealous.
24:11Look, they're going to have fisty caps.
24:14This lady is beautiful, kind, intelligent.
24:17You're probably very naughty in bed.
24:20Whoa!
24:21Too far, virgin.
24:23If I were at that party, I'd be frightened to death.
24:26I would.
24:27Maybe you should think twice before talking like that.
24:29Yes, maybe you should think twice before eating so many cakes, you fat shit.
24:42Oh, God, it's desperate, isn't it?
24:44Don't touch it, Molly.
24:45You just kick your language down.
24:47It's kicking off.
24:50Does anyone remember the happy song?
24:52My bear, you can sing it.
24:53Well, there's nobody who can be crushed with the happy song, Ray.
24:56She's on the trombone.
25:00Oh, God.
25:07What's blown up?
25:09The cheese machine.
25:12Oh, it couldn't get any worse, could it?
25:15Ow.
25:17Ow.
25:20Ow.
25:23I think my mother's about to die.
25:28That is...
25:29I shoot her mouth!
25:30That is...
25:30That is weird!
25:32This whole program's weird.
25:33That is the weirdest thing I've ever seen!
25:35The whole program's weird.
25:36Okay, um, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is my new favorite show.
25:41This just shows how desperate country life is, doesn't it, Mary?
25:46No wonder you go to London all the time.
25:55In Brighton.
25:56In Brighton.
25:56Are you happy now?
25:58Mm.
25:58Bit of chocolate.
25:59What you wanted?
26:00I'd better not have any more of those.
26:01They are nice, aren't they?
26:03Hairdressers Stephen and Chris.
26:06What more can you want in life?
26:09Chocolate, wine, sitting in with one of your besties.
26:13Eh?
26:14Yeah.
26:15Be nice, wouldn't it?
26:16It would be nice, yeah.
26:18In February, Sky One showed us a talent show with a difference.
26:23Sit.
26:23Sit, Bob.
26:26When animal behavior expert Mark Vettie trained three rescue dogs to drive a car...
26:31What?
26:33What are we doing here?
26:34...many believe that as a feat of dog training, this stunning achievement could never be surpassed.
26:40I'm not having that.
26:42Oh, how can it drive a bloody car?
26:44If that's what's gonna happen in the future, I'm gonna buy a car, buy a dog and make it go
26:48shop for me.
26:49After a nationwide search, 12 unwanted rescue dogs will be selected by three of the world's
26:55top canine experts.
26:57Oh.
26:58Oh, rescue dogs, Frankie.
27:00Through a series of tests and specialist training, they will attempt to answer that most unusual
27:05of questions.
27:07Could a dog be taught to fly an aeroplane?
27:12Don't be ridiculous.
27:15To fly an aeroplane?
27:17Yeah, of course.
27:18No.
27:20Buckle up for the ride of your life.
27:25I don't believe it.
27:27Anyway, it'd be different if it was a monkey, because at least they've got hands.
27:31Dogs ain't even got hands.
27:32At least they've got hands.
27:34I think it's all about the mental capability rather than the tools that they got.
27:38Look, John would sleep.
27:39He would crash the plane.
27:41Wouldn't you, John?
27:43Or it would tip, nosedive, because it's so heavy at the front.
27:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:47We're bringing together 12 dogs from rescue shelters across the UK to show you just how
27:53clever dogs really are.
27:55Jamie Theakson's just turned into a cringy dad.
27:58He used to be fit when he was on Blue Peter.
28:00What's happened to him?
28:02He's put a bit of park on, hasn't he?
28:03Oh, yeah, he has, hasn't he?
28:05The trainers start to lay the groundwork needed before they begin more advanced training.
28:11They'll have to work fast, because in just nine weeks, driving dog supremo Mark Vetti needs
28:18the trainers to have produced three top dogs for flight school.
28:22Nine weeks?
28:24I thought you were to have so many flying hours with an instructor.
28:29I reckon a dog can do that in nine weeks with intensive training.
28:32With intensive training, yeah.
28:33They're doing it every day, aren't they?
28:35Dogs are such quick learners.
28:37In the first episode, it was the audition rounds to find which dogs might eventually take
28:43to the skies.
28:46Reggie breezes through the walk the plank vertigo test.
28:50Cook it.
28:50And laughs in the face of the cockpit of doom.
28:54No problem.
28:55You aced it.
28:56This dog is very confident.
28:58He is definitely a dog that I could see potentially fly a plane.
29:04How can they keep a straight face?
29:06He does look like a pilot, doesn't he?
29:08Don't you think?
29:09You might just be a pilot.
29:10Do you know who he reminds me of?
29:12Like Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can.
29:16Next up, and with not much of an act to follow, is little Spike.
29:21Well, he wouldn't be able to fly a plane, that little one, would he?
29:24Eh?
29:25No.
29:26He'd need a booster seat, though, wouldn't he?
29:27He's only little.
29:28He'd have to build the pedals up.
29:30By the end, 12 dogs were chosen and looked cock-a-hooped to be picked to go to the finalist's
29:36house.
29:36Once in my life I have someone who needs me
29:45These are the select food, the Topkins.
29:52Oh, this is ridiculous.
29:55It's like Big Brother for dogs.
29:57It's bleeding mad.
29:59This is a mad programme.
30:02It's an insult to intelligent people.
30:05For the 12, some of which have spent close to a year in...
30:08There's not an aeroplane in sight.
30:10I mean, they've got no idea what they've got ahead of them.
30:15At least I'd take them to Gatwick for the day.
30:21In County Durham.
30:23I'm not being funny, but you're going to be 50, so you need to start and think about
30:25a bucket list.
30:26Mark had a big birthday in February.
30:29You may as well do it while you're able to body.
30:31If there's anything in the world I want to see is the Earth from outer space, obviously...
30:34Fucking hell.
30:37You don't want much.
30:39Are you serious?
30:41You want to see...
30:42So, you haven't been in touch with NASA?
30:45No.
30:47I know it's your 50th and it's a big birthday, right?
30:50It's not a bad thing.
30:50We're going to look now to space, it's a little bit too extreme.
30:53I thought you were going to see like a new pair of brogues or a written shirt or something.
30:58I want to see the Earth from outer space.
31:00Well, it's safer.
31:00Put things on the bucket list that are achievable, that is all right.
31:03You know what, I'll get you a big old poster.
31:08BBC One's gripping police drama, starring Sarah Lancashire, was back on our screens.
31:15I watched this at Auntie James.
31:18Yeah?
31:18Because she was telling me how good it was.
31:24I love Sarah Lancashire.
31:27No matter what she takes part in, she's brilliant, isn't she?
31:29She's from Correlation Street.
31:31Oh, Raquel.
31:32What?
31:33Raquel.
31:33She was married to Kelly.
31:37In this troubled town, I don't think there's going to be anything happy about this valley,
31:43do you?
31:44In this episode, Sarah Lancashire got some devastating news.
31:49Katherine?
31:51Boss.
31:52You busy?
31:53No.
31:54No.
31:55The man who'd raped her daughter was about to temporarily be let out of prison.
32:01The Home Office have given Tommy Lee Royce permission to attend his mother's funeral tomorrow at the crematorium in Holland.
32:07I've just heard just now.
32:10I thought you deserved to know in advance before you saw it on the news or in papers.
32:16Oh, God.
32:17God, she's not going to be happy about that, is she?
32:19No.
32:20She hates him, doesn't she?
32:21Obviously, I mean, her daughter committed suicide over them.
32:24Sarah, her daughter was raped by this lad in prison and now his mother has been found dead in a
32:33garage.
32:34Is it worth me watching it?
32:36You're telling me all about it.
32:37No, but because you haven't seen it, I'm just trying to get you into it.
32:44Oh, is that him?
32:45Yeah.
32:45Good morning.
32:48Bye, boss.
32:50I've come to let you know you've been given permission by the Home Office to attend your mother's funeral.
32:56When?
32:57Today.
32:59You'll be leaving in half an hour.
33:00You'll be driven there under armed escort and you'll be handcuffed at all times you can.
33:05Well, he doesn't look like a rapist.
33:08I don't know. What does a rapist look like?
33:12He's so good looking.
33:14I mean, God, he's gorgeous.
33:16I mean, to be fair, the way he's got his hair and everything, he doesn't look as gorgeous.
33:20Yeah, he looks like a riffraff.
33:21But he really is gorgeous.
33:34She's going to the funeral, isn't she?
33:37What's her game, Mary?
33:47I think she's disturbed.
33:48She must be disturbed because why would you want to see someone who he thinks raped your daughter?
33:58Ooh, she's got a face that she hates him, isn't she?
34:10Do you think he's looking around trying to devise a plan about to get out?
34:14Because he looks like he's, like, properly thinking about something, doesn't he?
34:17I think he's looking for somebody.
34:19Yeah.
34:27Oh, God, she's going in.
34:35She's just looking for trouble here now, going in here.
34:38Right, why is she doing this?
34:40Why is she going?
34:42To wind him up.
34:47What is she doing now there?
34:49I don't know.
34:49Well, she shouldn't be in there, should she?
34:53She'd probably get in trouble for that.
34:55And to present us faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy.
35:00You can feel the hate, it's palpable.
35:02She looks like a slab of marble, doesn't she, with piercing eyes.
35:07Both now and ever.
35:10Amen.
35:10The father and the father and the father and the father.
35:12So he thinks.
35:13She really.
35:14She murdered his mother.
35:16With exceeding joy.
35:17To the only wise God, our saviour.
35:20Not many there, is there?
35:22No.
35:23She can't have been popular.
35:24No.
35:25I'd want loads of man.
35:27Oh, there will be.
35:29Both now and ever.
35:31Amen.
35:32The father and the son and the Holy Spirit.
35:36Oh, shit.
35:38Oh, she's ready for him, look.
35:40She's ready for him.
35:45He keeps looking over his shoulder though, doesn't he?
35:48No, no, he hasn't.
35:49Watch, watch.
35:50Shit, he's gonna see him, he's gonna see her.
35:57What's that fucking bitch doing?
35:59He clocked her.
36:00You killed my mother.
36:01You killed my mother.
36:03You filthy bitch.
36:06Oh, shit.
36:09Ouch, God, that really, that was very visceral, that headbutt, wasn't it?
36:23Yeah, she does.
36:26She hates him.
36:36Yeah, she does.
36:37She hates him.
36:47Well, that's it now till next week.
36:49Oh, I can't wait.
36:50Now I wanna watch it, now again.
36:51I know, this is what I mean, Lee.
36:54I can't wait for next week.
36:55I can't, I'm gripped.
36:56Oh.
36:58I like it that it's northern as well.
37:00I know.
37:00And that it's West Yorkshire.
37:01But I'm glad I've watched it with you.
37:02I think I'd have been scared if I'd have watched it on my own.
37:04Oh yeah, I would have been.
37:05No wonder people say it's grim up north when there's programs like this on.
37:17On the world.
37:19I heard a really stupid German joke today.
37:22Another one?
37:23Yeah.
37:24The Verdenbabbers.
37:25A guy sit in a really posh restaurant.
37:28Mm-hmm.
37:29And he, and he, er, need to fart.
37:33But.
37:34He would.
37:35The music is loud enough.
37:38So all the time when the bass kicked in, I fart.
37:42Mm-hmm.
37:43So he do that.
37:44Yeah.
37:45It's finished.
37:47Get up.
37:47And the whole restaurant turn around and look at him.
37:51Then he realized he have his headphones still in.
37:59HE LAUGHS
38:04In April, there were caravan owners trying to outdo each other on BBC Two.
38:10Big business, you know, caravans.
38:12Mm.
38:12Apparently now they're building caravans with all levels.
38:16Are they?
38:17Yeah.
38:17Yeah, like a carer house.
38:20The caravan club has whittled down its members to an elite six couples.
38:25Oh, caravaner.
38:26Oh, fucking hell.
38:27I know it's great.
38:28Caravaner.
38:28English people and Dutch people with the caravaners.
38:31Jesus Christ.
38:32To decide who has the ability, passion and know-how.
38:372.8 litre diesel engine.
38:39That means nothing.
38:40To be crowned the club's inaugural caravaner of the year.
38:44This is my dream.
38:45Oh, no, this is going to make you want to do it even more.
38:47Oh, my God.
38:47This is my dream.
38:49I would love me and you to do this.
38:51We would be great at this.
38:53But we can't put up a tent for shy.
39:00If I was king, I'd ban caravans.
39:02Would you?
39:03Yeah, they're dangerous.
39:05In the programme, contestant David was trying to park his caravan.
39:09His mum was doing her best to help.
39:12Gwyn!
39:14Oh, for God's sake.
39:16If I see you, it would help.
39:20Oh, no, no!
39:21Oh, David!
39:23Don't we face when you can't see your mum?
39:25No.
39:26No, he's going to jackknife it.
39:28Whoa, no, no, no, no.
39:30Stop him.
39:30He's going to drive over her.
39:32I can't do this.
39:34I can't see you there.
39:35No.
39:37But don't just go from side to side.
39:39All right.
39:39Help me.
39:41Oh, he's getting cheesed off of there.
39:43We wouldn't last five bloody minutes, would we?
39:48Look at it.
39:49There's going to be some stress build-up.
39:57What's the tree?
39:59Never mind that.
39:59What's your mum?
40:01Later on, we saw David's mum at the wheel.
40:04How can you move her seat?
40:08Where am I going?
40:09Well, how little is she in there?
40:11Why is he making the mum...
40:12No, maybe it should be good.
40:15Where am I going?
40:17No, leave the wheel.
40:18I can't see a thing I'm doing.
40:20Oh, my God!
40:22It's not working.
40:24No.
40:25No!
40:27No!
40:28Put it straight.
40:29One more turn.
40:30That's upside down.
40:31It's upside down.
40:35Good, bless it.
40:37Spinning it round.
40:38I've done that when you've been...
40:40When you've been saying that to me, I've done that, yeah.
40:42I can't see a damn thing.
40:44No, pull the car this way.
40:45So, how do I do that?
40:47No idea.
40:50Oh, my God!
40:52Oh, this is hysterical!
40:54With a clean sweep of manoeuvring failures,
40:57the brakes are now on David's dream
40:59of becoming the first ever caravaner of the year.
41:04I mean, they are taking competition programmes too far,
41:08but this is brilliant.
41:10Do you like this?
41:11He's brilliant.
41:12Ah, I love it.
41:13Oh, I didn't think I was going to enjoy that.
41:15I thought it was going to be boring.
41:17Rock on!
41:19Rock on, Gwyneth!
41:20Everyone's going to be looking out for them now.
41:22Yeah.
41:23There's David Gwyneth!
41:25Driving down the road!
41:26The other way!
41:27The other way!
41:30In Brighton.
41:31I'm going to Amsterdam.
41:33What?
41:35When?
41:36When?
41:36You can't!
41:38The Michaels.
41:39We're getting the plane there.
41:40We're staying in a hostel for five days.
41:44Five days?
41:46That's quite a long time.
41:47That's a really long time for Amsterdam.
41:50No!
41:51You've run out of things to do after two days.
41:53No, we're just going to...
41:54Mum, it is a completely new country.
41:57The only things in Amsterdam are...
41:58There's nothing there.
41:59The art galleries and the brothels.
42:01Yeah.
42:01Oh, I didn't choose.
42:02And the coffee shops.
42:04Oh!
42:04I didn't choose.
42:05Uh-oh.
42:06There's no ordinary restaurant.
42:07In February, Channel 4 got a couple of million of us in the mood for love.
42:12Ah.
42:16Oh!
42:17Oh!
42:17Oh!
42:18Oh!
42:19I love this programme!
42:21Oh!
42:23Oh!
42:24Oh!
42:36Oh!
42:48Oh!
42:49Oh!
42:50Oh!
42:52Oh!
42:53Oh!
42:54Oh!
42:54Oh!
42:55Oh, bless him.
42:56I love geeks, though.
42:57They're so much more interesting.
42:59I wouldn't have put him down as a geek.
43:00A bit shy, maybe.
43:02Yes.
43:03So, I got him.
43:03Favourite Marvel character ever.
43:05Without a doubt, Spider-Man's probably got the most enemies than anyone else I've probably
43:10ever seen.
43:11He could be better looking.
43:13He just...
43:14Yeah, he needs to sort it out a bit, doesn't he?
43:16Get rid of the piss-pot haircut.
43:18That...
43:18Yeah, that.
43:19Even if he just pushed it up, it'd look a bit better, wouldn't it?
43:21Yeah.
43:21It would be really cool to actually have a girl who's into the same thing as me.
43:26Hopefully, the right girl will actually be there someday, somewhere.
43:29He's cute!
43:30Oh!
43:32You see, a lot of the people that come on this show, though, they are quite shy, aren't
43:36they?
43:36Do you know what I mean?
43:37They're the kind of people who are obviously going to find it difficult to find someone.
43:45How are you?
43:45Hi, I'm okay.
43:46How are you?
43:47Very good, thank you.
43:47What's your name?
43:48Libby.
43:49I've never been on a first date.
43:50Oh.
43:51He might have hit the jackpot.
43:53I've never been on a first date.
43:55Like, ever.
43:56Shall I take your...
43:57Anything for you?
43:57Just my umbrella.
43:58Sure.
43:59You've never been on a first date.
44:01Anyone who goes on a first date has never been on a first date.
44:04You silly guy.
44:05No, she's probably never had a date in her life.
44:07Well, exactly.
44:08That's why it's her first date.
44:09Don't get upset.
44:11Hi.
44:11Hi.
44:12Hi.
44:12Nice to see you.
44:13Hi.
44:14She's a little bit awkward.
44:20Oh, I think they're going to get on.
44:22I don't.
44:24So, erm, tell me a little bit more about school.
44:28I didn't really get on with anybody.
44:30Really?
44:31I, like, had the biker boots.
44:33I had the jackets.
44:35Black hands.
44:37And people didn't get that.
44:38I was like, oh, you freak.
44:40Oh, yeah, she's not an outcast.
44:42She's a pretty girl, isn't she?
44:43She is, actually.
44:45She's quite pretty.
44:45These two are socially inept.
44:48They can't, no.
44:49They can't leave each other, ma'am.
44:51I thought, I can never have friends.
44:54You know, no one's ever going to like me.
44:56So, I'm very sceptical with letting people in, really.
45:00Why would she think that, though?
45:02Why would she think, what?
45:03That she would never find someone.
45:04I mean, she's not ugly.
45:05No, I know, but, you know, they have that feeling, don't you?
45:09If you don't have the inner confidence.
45:10Never really go by what you see.
45:13Always go by what's in there.
45:15Yeah.
45:16Yeah, I agree.
45:17100%.
45:17I had something similar like that.
45:20I have, um, Asperger's.
45:22I thought so.
45:23Oh, yeah.
45:24I was gonna say that.
45:25Bless him.
45:26Oh.
45:27He's got As-bos.
45:29Asperger's.
45:29Oh.
45:30It's like, um, autism.
45:32Yeah.
45:32That's really brave of him, actually, to say that.
45:35First on the first day.
45:36Um, and when I went to school, I lost, sort of, struggles.
45:40Because they call it, like, what's called the social dyslexia.
45:44I was, like, very shy as a kid.
45:46I was a little bit socially inept.
45:48So, I was right.
45:49They were socially inept.
45:51I was right.
45:52We pretty much spoke for himself.
45:54It was socially inept, Mum.
45:55It didn't take for him to say socially inept.
45:56No, but we were laughing.
45:58There we go.
45:58You were laughing.
45:59You were laughing.
46:00I know, but I feel terrible now.
46:01Oh, that's spoil me.
46:02Well, I'm not like most people.
46:04I'm weird just like you.
46:05Don't worry.
46:06Yeah.
46:06We can be ourselves.
46:07The two weirdos.
46:08The two weirdos.
46:10They're getting on good, aren't they?
46:12Oh, ain't it nice?
46:13Yeah, it surprised me, actually.
46:15Boy, he's smooth.
46:16Oh, he's really...
46:18You know, he's brilliant.
46:20Watch and learn, Isaac.
46:21Wish I was smooth as him.
46:22Jesus Christ.
46:23I know.
46:24I know.
46:25Would you like to see each other again?
46:27Um, you want to go first?
46:29Oh.
46:30Can you go first?
46:31May I go first?
46:31Or should we say it together?
46:32Nope.
46:32And hope it's the same answer?
46:34Can you imagine?
46:34Yeah, let's go, yeah.
46:35Like, no.
46:36Yeah, yeah.
46:37Yeah, actually, I would actually...
46:39Yeah, definitely, I think so, yeah.
46:40Yeah.
46:40Aww.
46:43Aww.
46:45He must feel on top of the world.
46:48Yeah.
46:48There's a lift for every saucepan, as they say.
46:51You've got to find them first.
46:52Yeah.
46:53That's true.
46:54I seem to have lost a few in the cupboards.
46:56Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
47:0121 days with no stuff.
47:03Could you do it?
47:04You might want...