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00:00Jenny, will you do me a favour and put some of this on me back, on the base of me
00:03back?
00:03Yeah.
00:06What's...
00:09Oh, Lee, is it on your back or on your arse?
00:13Well, no, it's got to be on the base, hasn't it?
00:15Oh, I...
00:17Oh, I ain't doing it further down, Lee.
00:19Oh, go on.
00:20No!
00:21It's got to be.
00:22Oh, I ain't rubbing it in your bum crack.
00:25Oh, I ain't rubbing it in your bum crack.
00:31You're what?
00:32Ah!
00:33Ah!
00:34You're drunk.
00:35Ah!
00:36You'll get this shot down with a spoon.
00:39Ah!
00:40Oh, my God.
00:41This is very Alan Partridge, Mary.
00:44Ah!
00:44David!
00:45I beg your rotted pardon.
00:48Ah!
00:49Ah!
00:50Asparagus!
00:51He's dead!
00:52Oh!
00:53Do you know what he's dead?
00:55He can never come?
00:56Yeah.
00:56He's got warts.
00:58Oh!
00:59Oh!
01:00What is that?
01:01I can't believe they've shown that.
01:03Where's his teeth?
01:04Please somebody help this lady.
01:05He's going to bloody kill her.
01:07Why would you do that?
01:08You and I don't carry knives.
01:10Oh, shut up.
01:11I'm waiting for her to look down the camera and scream.
01:14Bulk bar in toilet roll.
01:17THC, that's what gets you stoned.
01:19In the week Hollyoaks celebrated turning 25, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:26There was cash up for grabs in ITV's big see-through box.
01:31You're off.
01:34I'd do that three times for five grand.
01:36We don't.
01:37There you would.
01:40The news gave us an update on our exit from the European Union.
01:44Downing Street has said that Brexit trade talks are over.
01:47I can just see us crashing out of the EU, being absolutely knackered, and then our sausages in our hands.
01:55Going back to the EU, please will you let us back in, because we've completely ballsed up.
02:00We can't eat.
02:01We can't sleep.
02:03I can't live if living is without EU.
02:08And more families face questions to win a fortune on ITV.
02:13OK.
02:14We asked 100 people, a sport that uses a bowl.
02:17A bowl or bowl?
02:19What, a bowl did he say?
02:20What sport uses a bowl?
02:22Competitive being sick.
02:30In Belfast...
02:31I'm just going to get something sweet.
02:33Right, get us a beer.
02:34Bring us a donut.
02:35Good friends Adrian, Vicky and Martin.
02:39AD, you're going home without the arm of your glasses.
02:49AD!
02:50There's something wrong with that.
02:52You've got to have another pair of glasses.
02:55You've got to have another pair of glasses.
02:57I don't think.
02:58Where's the bit for it?
03:01I think that's serious.
03:04I don't give a shot.
03:04I don't give a shot.
03:07On Sunday night, ITV treated us to this family favourite.
03:13I love the show.
03:13You watch Family Fortunes?
03:15Back in the day.
03:16Yeah.
03:17Amazing, easy.
03:19We played this for all the life.
03:20Did we?
03:22Remember when we played Family Fortunes?
03:24No.
03:28Welcome to Family Fortunes.
03:32Is this the eh-eh-eh one?
03:34Yeah.
03:34Yeah.
03:35Some people say some stupid things, though.
03:37Let's meet the host.
03:39Let's see if the host is.
03:40It's Gino De Campo.
03:42Gino!
03:43Gino!
03:44I like Gino, though.
03:45No, no, these guys are bad boys.
03:48He's a chef, guys.
03:49No.
03:51He's a chef.
03:52Yeah, what's he supposed to do with presenting Family Fortunes?
03:54Well, good question.
03:55And it makes him, to me, initially unrecognisable.
04:00Well, either way it's go.
04:01Bottom, bottom, done.
04:04Is that good or bad?
04:05Bad.
04:06Bad.
04:07Gino.
04:08We asked 100 people.
04:10Name something you do in the shower.
04:12Piss!
04:13Oh, shit, you better not!
04:15I don't do that.
04:16Wash your legs.
04:17Play with the loofah.
04:18No, maybe you what?
04:21That's what...
04:22Is that what you call it these days?
04:25Sing.
04:26Sing?
04:27Wash.
04:28Wash your hair.
04:29Yeah, wash your hair.
04:30That's got to be up there.
04:31It's not the top answer, though.
04:32Come on, Alicia.
04:33Wash your body.
04:34I hope somebody's saying they're washing their body.
04:37Yes?
04:38My hand.
04:3921.
04:40All right.
04:40Alex.
04:41Sing?
04:42Sing in the shower.
04:43Yeah.
04:43That's up there.
04:44I think sing's highest.
04:45Yeah.
04:46Is he singing in the shower up there, our survey said?
04:50Yes!
04:54Get that right up, yeah!
04:56Sing in the shower?
04:58In the bath?
04:59What else do you do in the shower?
05:01Manscaped?
05:05Paul, what do you do in the shower?
05:07Wank!
05:07Scrub your balls!
05:09Come on, Paul.
05:09Be honest.
05:10I would never do this.
05:11Bath?
05:12Oh, don't say urinate.
05:15No.
05:15Some people have a wee, don't they?
05:17Did you say have a wee?
05:18What did you say you have a wee?
05:19A wee?
05:19In the shower?
05:21Wait, he said I would never do that.
05:23Wait, I swear everyone does that.
05:24Do you see what he's done?
05:25He set the question up and said,
05:26I don't do it.
05:27I don't do this, but some people do.
05:30Yes, you do.
05:30Paul, you do it, bruh.
05:31You do it.
05:31You probably do it.
05:32You piss in the shower, bruh.
05:33Is he up there on the board?
05:35Our survey says?
05:36It's got to be up there, isn't it?
05:36It's got to be up there, wee-wee.
05:38It's there.
05:42Everybody does it.
05:43As if washed body is only one up from waste.
05:46We're a nation of dirty bastards.
05:49Wow.
05:49Adam, I'm trying to ask you this.
05:51What do you do in the shower?
05:53Make love.
05:56Make love, he said.
05:59Make love?
06:00Look at his green face as well.
06:02Make love.
06:03Make love.
06:05The dad's cringing, but he's thinking.
06:07I've porked you, Mum, in there.
06:10I've never made love in a shower, have you?
06:12Yeah.
06:12Have you?
06:13Oh, you've tried everything, have you?
06:14Yeah, when we was in Palma Nova, mine.
06:17Oh, in that and that.
06:17I would do it in this country.
06:19I remember you were selling me that.
06:20Yeah.
06:20Oh, yeah.
06:21Yeah, we went down, we had, it was happy hour.
06:24Oh, you had a happy hour, all right, in the shower.
06:27I'm going to go pee, not in the shower.
06:29Don't pee in the shower?
06:31No.
06:33In London.
06:35The way a person eats a custard cream
06:37is, it's just between that person and their conscience.
06:40I like to bite the top off.
06:42Victoria and her husband, David.
06:44So you've got like just the, see like that,
06:46so a bit of the top and then you just have the cream.
06:49Yeah, that's not how they're designed to be eaten.
06:51Do you eat a sandwich like that?
06:53No.
06:53Have like the top bit of bread
06:54and then lick off the egg mayonnaise
06:55and then the bottom bit of bread.
06:57People have an open sandwich.
06:59I've never understood what an open sandwich.
07:01Well, it's a thing, so.
07:02Beans on toast, is that an open sandwich?
07:06Yeah.
07:07Okay.
07:08Well, all right, I do understand an open sandwich.
07:10Right.
07:11On Friday night, five more single fellas
07:14were competing to impress one lady looking for love.
07:18I love this programme.
07:21The thing with five guys a week, as you can imagine,
07:24it's a lot of guys...
07:25Yeah.
07:25...like trying to show that they're alpha male
07:27and almost show their territory, isn't it?
07:29Yeah.
07:29Yeah.
07:30How do you do that, though?
07:30Well, I do it like in the animal kingdom.
07:32I just go and piss everywhere.
07:35Oh, Caffilly.
07:38Lovely.
07:39Meet Sharon, a 51-year-old mother and grandmother...
07:43She's a grandmother.
07:44...who is ready to find love again.
07:46Lady, you're available?
07:51I've had three long-term relationships.
07:53She doesn't look 51, though, does she?
07:56Divorced twice.
07:57Oh, she's been divorced twice.
07:59Do you know what?
07:59I just don't care how people get married twice.
08:01Like, I can't even get a proposal once.
08:03Anna!
08:06First guy to arrive is Zach.
08:08Oh, no.
08:09Zach looks cool.
08:11Zach's recently returned to his homeland.
08:13Zing, zong.
08:14She is a leather jacket.
08:15Come on, Zach.
08:16It's a bit of a silver fox, isn't it?
08:18Mm-hmm.
08:18I think she's going to like him.
08:20Well, hello.
08:21Hello, Zach.
08:22It is, Zach.
08:23I'm in here.
08:23Nice to meet you.
08:25And you.
08:26Oh, kissy, kissy.
08:28Oh, you look exactly like you thought it was, huh?
08:30She's proper flustered, isn't she?
08:32Oh, you look lovely.
08:32Come on, then.
08:33Ooh, Shazza thinks he's fit.
08:36He's got a bit of Mr. Tumnus about him, hasn't he?
08:38What do you call them?
08:39Mr. Tumnus.
08:39Tumnus.
08:40The half-man, half-goat thing.
08:42What are they again?
08:42Yeah, the, um...
08:44What?
08:44The half-man, half-goat.
08:47I love a silver fox.
08:48She likes a silver fox.
08:50What's the point in getting the other four blokes round?
08:52Zach could be the perfect kafili-willy.
08:54Yeah.
08:55Some people call me a mammal.
08:57Who's this?
08:57He's on a bike.
08:58A middle-aged man in lycra.
09:00A middle-aged man in lycra.
09:03Other people call me a bellend.
09:05Oh, yeah.
09:07She'll think this is Amazon at the door.
09:09Hello, Sharon.
09:11How are you?
09:12Did you come on your bike?
09:13No, I always dress like this, love.
09:15Got a little present for you.
09:17Oh, thank you.
09:18Oh, he's brought the Ferrero Rocher.
09:20Oh, he has, but...
09:21Hang on, now he's taken an early lead.
09:24Later, Sharon took her suitors to a haunted castle for a ghost hunt.
09:29Ghost hunting's a great idea.
09:31It's going to break the ice, isn't it?
09:33And it wasn't long before she was alone in the dark with Mark.
09:38But this isn't sexy, to be looking round a haunted house.
09:43They might fall into each other's arms in fear.
09:47But it's the most...
09:48It's the most sexy.
09:50The most sexual of all the emotions.
09:53Can you move the table to show us a sign, please?
09:57Is that a Ouija board?
09:58It's a sort of Ouija table.
10:01Can you hear it?
10:02Now, which one of them is just rocking the table?
10:05Oh!
10:06It's him.
10:07He's just rocking the table.
10:08Oh, that's me, Dennis.
10:10Look, he's just moving it.
10:12He's just not rocking his back and forth.
10:15Upstairs, Zach and Sharon.
10:17Oh, here we go, Zach and Sharon.
10:19I reckon Zach's going to put it on, Sharon.
10:20He moves on, innit?
10:21Yeah.
10:22I mean, Zach, we ended up in this tiny room.
10:24Oh!
10:25Oh, Zach!
10:27Oh, shit!
10:28Cheeky devil, you cooney!
10:29Oh, my word!
10:30Cheeky devil!
10:31Oh, Jesus!
10:32Go on, Zach!
10:34She's just about messing about on the table with the other guy,
10:36and then she's straight into Mr. Tumnus.
10:40I've not had an age thing before.
10:42I've not.
10:42Because I'm not going to go with anyone.
10:44This is younger than me.
10:45Oh, she's older than him.
10:46You're worried that I'm a bit young.
10:48Mm.
10:50Oh!
10:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
10:52Oh, there he is, the mammal.
10:54We're not that far apart.
10:55Is he eavesdropping, Mary?
10:57Yes.
10:58He's feeling sick as a pig at the top of the stairs.
11:01He pretended he could feel the force of some ghost
11:04in order to impress this woman,
11:06and now straightforward schmoozing from a younger man
11:09is trumping his supernatural technique.
11:12Mark's doing it on purpose
11:14because he needs to understand Karen.
11:16Eh, Sharon.
11:18That's right.
11:19Tonight, Sharon will choose between Mark and Zach
11:22over a romantic dinner.
11:24Oh, here we go.
11:26Oh, very nice.
11:28So is this the romantic dinner?
11:29Give me a big cut.
11:30Why doesn't someone turn on another strip light?
11:33Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
11:34I made my decision.
11:36And?
11:37Right.
11:38Zach, all the way.
11:39Who's she picked?
11:41I've...
11:42chosen Zach.
11:43Oh!
11:44Oh!
11:45I knew she'd go for Zach.
11:47Well done.
11:47End for the win.
11:50Aw.
11:52Oh, Mark.
11:53Fuck. But you have been amazing.
11:58Off he goes. Poor man. On your bike.
12:03You can tell he's upset because he's walking off with his bike instead of riding.
12:08He hasn't even had a chance to put his helmet on.
12:14What a shock.
12:15There was a woman on the television. I think she was 80-odd.
12:19And I know he was somebody from abroad.
12:21She went and got herself a 20-year-old bloke.
12:24Oh, don't blame her.
12:25And married him.
12:26Good for her.
12:27Well, I asked you.
12:29Yeah, but some young men like older women.
12:32But he said he do love her if she was 80.
12:34Yeah, but at that age, when a woman's older, they likes it because they're more experienced.
12:38Oh, yeah.
12:41You can't imagine, yeah, they've got a little giggly teenager.
12:45Men don't like that.
12:46No.
12:47They want somebody with experience, see.
12:49I could teach him a trick or two.
12:51Oh, God, yeah.
13:02In Wiltshire.
13:03Oh, what is that charming thing?
13:05Is it a little pumpkin?
13:07I'm going to...
13:08Don't have an accident.
13:09I'm going to get a sharpened knife.
13:11Now I'm making some progress now.
13:13Giles and his wife, Mary.
13:15I just needed to give it some welly, Mary.
13:18Welly?
13:18Welly.
13:19What's that?
13:20Welly.
13:21It's an expression.
13:22Give it some welly.
13:24I haven't heard it before.
13:25Have you?
13:26Have I ever used it before?
13:27Never.
13:28But I've been in a funny mood ever since I had that flu jab, Nutty, and I'm wondering if
13:33I'm having a reaction to the flu jab.
13:35Let me see.
13:36Yeah, beautiful.
13:37Put them in.
13:39Oh, don't be so childish.
13:40Put them into the oven, Nutty.
13:42You see, I wouldn't normally behave like that unless I had a flu jab.
13:45Well, I think you might have done.
13:46Do you want to pop them into the oven?
13:48Oh, Giles, please.
13:48That's because I've had the flu jab.
13:50It's had a strange effect on me, Mary.
13:52You always are childish.
13:54On Sunday night, Five Star had us trembling with terror with this super scary slasher movie
14:00from the 1990s.
14:02I fucking love this movie.
14:04There hasn't been one, like, scary movie that's got you.
14:07No.
14:07And played with you for a while.
14:08No, not at all.
14:09What?
14:10Oh, this is a classic.
14:17Oh, not more bloody scary strength.
14:20It's been so long since I've seen this film.
14:27Hello.
14:28Look who it is.
14:29Drew Barrymore.
14:30I forgot it was Drew Barrymore.
14:31Yeah.
14:32She's only in the beginning bit.
14:33This is like the, you know, the bit at the beginning of a Bond film before the credits?
14:37Yes.
14:37That's this.
14:38Hello.
14:39Hello.
14:40Yes?
14:40Have you been involved in an accident that wasn't your fault?
14:43Fuck off.
14:47Don't answer it.
14:48Don't answer it.
14:49Hello?
14:49Don't answer the phone.
14:51Stop perking off the phone, you fucking idiot.
14:53I'm sorry.
14:54I guess I dialled the wrong number.
14:55It's him again.
14:56Big man, come off my phone.
14:58Wait, wait.
14:59Don't hang up.
15:00Hang up, Ed.
15:01Hang up.
15:02See ya.
15:03Bang, phone down.
15:05But it rings again.
15:08Oh, for goodness sake.
15:09Don't pick up, fam.
15:10Look at your popcorn priorities.
15:13Listen, asshole.
15:14No, you listen, you little bitch.
15:16You hang up on me again, I'll gut you like a fish, understand?
15:20I'll gut you like a fish.
15:22Oh, damn.
15:24He's going to gut her like a fish anyway.
15:26Is this some kind of joke?
15:28More of a game.
15:30It's a kid.
15:31See, I've stopped being scared.
15:32Now you said she's going to gruesomely die.
15:33It was only the suspense that got me.
15:34You don't know when.
15:35But how would it be if I said, in a few minutes, I'm going to stab you with a nitting
15:38needle?
15:38What you would say is, could you just please stab me now with a nitting needle and we can get
15:42it over with?
15:42That reminds me, we've got to make an appointment for flu jabs.
15:46Why are you running out of the kitchen?
15:48The knives are in the kitchen.
15:50For God's sake, hasn't she checked the front door?
15:52This is when she checks the front door.
15:57What can she see?
15:58Can she see anything?
15:59Can you see me?
16:00No, can't.
16:01Where are you?
16:05Oh.
16:07He's going to pop up, isn't he?
16:09I am two seconds away from calling the police.
16:12Call the police man.
16:13You should have gone the police before.
16:15We're not coming.
16:18My boyfriend will be here any second and he'll be pissed when he finds out.
16:22He's not here right now, is he?
16:24His name wouldn't be Steve, would it?
16:28Steve.
16:29Oh, he knows him.
16:31Oh, dear.
16:32Turn on the patio lights.
16:34Oh, no.
16:35Oh, don't tell me Steve's out there dead with all his insides hanging out.
16:39Here we go.
16:40Here we go.
16:40That's right.
16:44No, no, no, no, no.
16:45Did she turn on the light or did it?
16:47Oh!
16:48Oh, dear, Steve.
16:49Oh, my.
16:50Oh, the boyfriend.
16:52Oh, God!
16:54Don't open the door!
16:55Turn the door!
16:55Turn the door!
16:55Turn the door!
16:56I wouldn't do that if I were you.
16:58It's over for you, Steve.
16:59Why don't you just call the police?
17:01I want to play a game.
17:03I don't want to play a game.
17:04Let's play a game of turn the tally off.
17:07What door am I at?
17:09Oh.
17:11Fucking none, I hope.
17:14Oh!
17:15Fucking hell!
17:17Oh!
17:18Oh, there he is.
17:19Oh!
17:22He's throwing a chair in.
17:23Maybe here's a chair.
17:25Oh, my God.
17:28Get out the house.
17:29Get out the house.
17:30Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
17:35Don't go out backwards.
17:38Oh, shit.
17:39Oh, shit.
17:39Oh, no, I can't deal with this.
17:41I can't deal with this.
17:43I've got to go upstairs alone after this, you know,
17:45and go to bed.
17:51There's a car.
17:52There's a car.
17:53Get out there to the car.
17:53Get out.
17:54Go, go, get out.
17:57What's she doing?
17:58All my days.
17:59What's wrong with this girl?
18:00Can you go to the car?
18:07Oh, shit.
18:15Oh, shit.
18:21All right.
18:22Go, go, go, go, go.
18:23Go.
18:24Go.
18:25This is where you need to be Usain Bolt.
18:29Leave your boyfriend.
18:30Leave your boyfriend.
18:35Why are you still here?
18:36Why do you stop?
18:38Why are you stop?
18:39Oh, my.
18:40Stop.
18:41Go.
18:44Oh.
18:44Oh.
18:45It's back.
18:46Oh.
18:47Fuck.
18:48Ah.
18:49Oh, no.
18:50Oh, no.
18:51Oh, right.
18:51Is she going to get stuck up?
18:52No, no, no, no, no.
18:53Oh, no, phone.
18:54No.
18:55Oh.
18:59Who's this coming?
19:00Is it the mom and dad?
19:00Why is she screaming?
19:02Help.
19:02Hey, help me.
19:04Say something.
19:06Oh, she can't scream.
19:08Oh, that's the worst.
19:10Ain't much of a scream, was it?
19:12Ah.
19:15No.
19:15Oh, God, hadn't you done enough damage?
19:20Well, that's me on for a set of fresh hundies, anyway.
19:22Nice one.
19:23That were horrific.
19:25It's based on a true story, isn't it?
19:27Is it?
19:28Idiot.
19:31Oh, God.
19:35On Wednesday, Channel 4 told us Emily's story.
19:41My name's Emily.
19:42I'm a strength conditioning addict.
19:45Gosh, look old fit she is.
19:47Personal trainer.
19:48And I had this mole on my calf.
19:50A mole?
19:51Had them all removed a week after that they came back a skin cancer
19:58Skin cancer
19:59The scans aren't very good. Oh
20:02You've got pressure in the head. Oh my god. Just like being tubers in your head
20:10And you've got progression elsewhere as well including the bones
20:15What is it's in your bones could they not do anything for you? I don't know
20:22So that was the shittiest appointment of my life
20:25I can't even do this
20:31I just feel so awful
20:34Why do you feel awful for you? You've given me like the best four years of my life. Yeah, but
20:39I want to give you 40. Ah, she's worrying about a girlfriend
20:47Oh
20:49Do you need people close to yeah people you love?
20:55Love you back
21:01Oh
21:02Look
21:04Oh
21:05Brilliant
21:07That's cute
21:08So today we are going to find out the results of my CT scan. Obviously, you know that in the
21:13previous videos
21:13We found out about the five extra bloody brain tumors. Oh
21:18five
21:19Five
21:20She's in spiral, isn't she?
21:22Yeah
21:22God, what do you want?
21:24The lesion that sits between the brain and the beginning of the spinal cord has increased over the last two
21:31weeks
21:31Jesus
21:32Oh
21:37It's grown. It's at the top of my spine
21:39Oh, it's gone massive
21:44So they're giving me whole brain radiotherapy, which means losing hair
21:49Losing function of things maybe
21:54And then that's it
21:55And then that's it
21:55I've got my glove
21:58That's all I can do
22:00No, it's not it
22:07Christ
22:09Can you imagine hearing that?
22:11Being taught that?
22:18I'm knackered
22:28Oh
22:29God
22:30Come on girl
22:32Come on
22:35I wanted to let you know that Emily has passed away
22:42Ah
22:52It was very peaceful. She just opened her eyes, looked at me and I told her how much I loved
22:57her
23:03Look how fit she was, Lee
23:06How fit and how happy she was with her
23:10And it's all gone and it's took it all away from her
23:13It's fucking evil, I told you
23:17It's fucking evil, I told you
23:18Are you okay?
23:24One in two of us will get cancer in our lifetime
23:27Help us fight back
23:29To give 30, 20 or 10 pounds, text 3020 or 10 to 70404
23:35Or donate online at channel4.com forward slash su2c
23:41100% of the money you give will fund life-saving cancer research
23:54In London
23:55I'd rather go two cheeseburgers than have one big match like two cheeseburgers either put on top of each other's
24:01one
24:01There's just something about it man
24:02What about the hot apple pie?
24:04I love apple pies
24:05Good friends KSI and Craig
24:08You're allergic to anything though?
24:10Um, peanuts
24:12I'm actually allergic to peanuts man
24:13What is it like, what does it do? Like it blocks up the throat?
24:17It's not too bad, it kind of just, it tickles my throat
24:20So it's like an itch that I can't scratch
24:23But not like, like if you got it in a room you're gonna
24:25No, I wouldn't like pass out and die
24:28No, hopefully
24:30No, because I was looking, I was thinking, did we put any peanuts in the thing or is it just
24:35Some buttons?
24:36Well, I think, I think
24:38It's just like Maltesers and buttons
24:40Okay, let's keep it, let's keep it on that, on that
24:42On a low key vibe, you know what I mean?
24:44On Monday night, ITV dug up and dusted down this game show classic
24:49Do you know the only person to beat the Cube, Ellie?
24:53Mo Farah
24:55No way
24:57The Cube is back
24:59I said to Grant, I went, do you know what?
25:01It'll be a good socially distanced game show that they need to bring back the Cube
25:06Lo and behold, here it is
25:09One million pounds on the line
25:10One million! One million is a lot of money, you know
25:13Wow, okay, this is, this, this is big
25:18The Cube!
25:19I think I could easily smash the Cube
25:21Yeah? Yeah
25:22The only thing, right, if you've got it in that Cube, if you've got a roof in it and you're
25:25farting
25:26Oh!
25:28Let's meet our first contestants
25:29Oh, contestants
25:32Oh!
25:34It's Adam and John, welcome both of you, so your relationship is?
25:38We're brothers
25:39Oh, they're brothers, okay
25:40They're brothers
25:41That's no never speaking after this
25:43The fact that they're brothers
25:44Right
25:45Like if I was doing this challenge with my sister, I think we'd be able to know what the other
25:50one's gonna do
25:51Because they're brothers, that bodes well
25:53You'll release 40 balls into the Cube
25:56You be good with this, ball handling
25:58When the floor flash is red, you must pick them up and place them in the container within 15 seconds
26:0540 balls in 15 seconds
26:07Right, okay
26:08That's easy!
26:09That's hard, bruh
26:10God, that sounds stressful, doesn't it?
26:11Sounds easy
26:12Can you work quickly as a team and win 5,000 pounds?
26:165,000 pounds for putting some balls in a canister
26:19I think that's doable, don't you?
26:20Yeah, I think that's doable
26:21They'd be better off getting a non-executive directorship, though
26:24That's even better paid, I've heard
26:27So all you've got is for the balls and that, thank you
26:29Bless you, Adam
26:31Bless you
26:31Thank you
26:32You literally just need for the balls
26:33Bless you
26:36Bless you
26:36Bless you
26:37Bless you
26:37Here we go, lock the doors
26:43Oh, they're going all over the frickin' place, look
26:46Wait for them to settle
26:47Wait, let them settle
26:49Are you both ready?
26:50You ready?
26:51Alright, game on now, yeah?
26:52Go for it
26:53They're off
26:55Quick, man, just dash them in there
26:58It's not fast enough, bro
26:59It's not enough
27:00Whoa, it's already 10 seconds
27:01Four
27:02Come on
27:03Quick!
27:04They're not moving fast enough
27:05Three
27:06Quick!
27:07One, two more
27:09Aww
27:10Aww
27:11They've not done it?
27:12No
27:12Oh, boy, that was close
27:15There's one underneath that
27:16Yeah, why didn't you grab it?
27:17Ooh
27:19Argumentative?
27:19Why didn't you grab it?
27:20Because I didn't bloody see it, you little dickhead
27:22Arguing already
27:24That'd be me and you
27:25God, didn't you see it until I walked away?
27:27Gotta go faster
27:28Yeah, cheers, Phil
27:29Shade?
27:30Oh, in a time trial?
27:32Thank you
27:33You don't have to fucking just let him hit you as he fall
27:35Come on
27:35Come on
27:40Right, come on
27:40Q, play the game
27:43Here we go, here we go
27:45Maybe they'll do it this time
27:48Come on, lads
27:50Oh, they're ready
27:52Poised like curlers
27:53You're off
27:55Little brother's going for it
27:58Five
27:58Oh, no, they ain't gonna do it
27:59They ain't gonna do it
28:00Oh, come on, quick
28:01Four
28:02Three
28:03Two
28:03There's one behind you
28:05One
28:06Look, there's that one
28:07Another one there
28:09One more
28:11Oh, shit, there's one on the floor
28:14No
28:14Oh, my God
28:15Come on, Lewy
28:16Oh
28:17Oh, my gosh, bruv
28:23Oh
28:26That's your side
28:27He's booting off now
28:28It was his side
28:29How was that your side?
28:31That's when you were closest to it
28:32Oh, he's kicking off big time
28:34Now Adam the little shit
28:35Imagine you say to me
28:37Bruv, you missed the ball
28:38Bruv, we're doing the game together
28:39So
28:39You missed the ball too
28:42This is classed as your side
28:44I'd just say, bro, I'm up
28:45Get it, get it, get it
28:45No, I'm gonna pick up
28:46Blood, shut your mouth
28:47You're the younger brother
28:48I don't think it would be good for our marriage
28:50If we had to do this for money, do you?
28:52I don't think it would
28:53The thing is, I don't think there would ever be a combination
28:55Where you could go on there and it not be stressful
28:57You know, you're going with your sibling
29:00Nightmare
29:00Going with your missus
29:02Nightmare
29:02Going with your parents
29:04Even worse
29:05Going on with your missus
29:06Or your partner
29:08You dickhead
29:12In Wiltshire
29:13Get plucked
29:15Family box
29:16Delivering in and around Marlborough
29:18I'm gonna ring up and say I would have patronised you
29:20But I don't like the offensive tone of your advert
29:23What, there's nothing, they haven't used any swear words
29:26Of course they have
29:27Why?
29:27The swear word is implied
29:29Get plucked
29:30Yes
29:30Giles and his wife Mary
29:33Duck me
29:34No
29:35There's one called duck me Mary
29:37Oh
29:38There's one called pluck me
29:40No
29:41I think they deserve 10 out of 10 for initiative Mary
29:44No
29:45They got on their bikes
29:46Chicken, it's our plucking business
29:49Right
29:49Everything about them I like
29:51Making the world a burger place
29:54At least they didn't say burger me
29:56Ha ha ha ha
29:59On Friday, it was UK local lockdowns making headline news on ITV
30:05Tears for fears
30:07So cliched
30:09The tracks of my tears
30:10Just why were you talking in cliches?
30:12Tears of a clown
30:13I'll give you the tears of a clown if you're not careful
30:17Good afternoon
30:18Good afternoon, love
30:19My theory is, Laquette's here is a vampire
30:23She is very vampish, isn't she?
30:24Yeah
30:25Like, I think that she wouldn't look out of place in twilight
30:27Local leaders in Lancashire have agreed a deal to impose the most strict Covid restrictions in England
30:34Oh, now Lancashire's gone in it
30:35We've got Liverpool and Lancashire, they're all in tier 3 now
30:39I hope they're not coming for us
30:40We're next on list, Ellie
30:42The best start back in me case
30:43What for?
30:44To come here
30:45Don't fucking bother
30:46Well, I'll have to
30:47The Prime Minister urged Greater Manchester to fall into line 2
30:51Oh, here we go
30:52Oh my God, that's Manchester now
30:55Yeah, to fall into land
30:56But they won't because the Mayor of Manchester is not having it
30:59It's up to local leaders to show the kind of leadership that we've seen in Liverpool, in Lancashire and in
31:06London
31:06That's a dig at Andy Burnham
31:07You know what, I'm glad that the North are like taking a stand on this as well
31:11Yeah
31:12And Manchester really represents the North, doesn't it?
31:15I am, I am
31:16Because you know for a fact that if this was in the South, the whole country would go into lockdown
31:19Yeah, this evening it was the Prime Minister making a move
31:22First, reading a roll of mayors, he says, set an example
31:27I would like to thank Steve Rotherham in Merseyside
31:30Steve Rotherham in Merseyside must cringe every time Boris Johnson says his name
31:34Because people would think I'm the biggest pussy in the UK
31:37To like bend over first for Boris Johnson
31:39I know
31:40Sadiq Khan in London
31:41Who's not on my list? Andy Burnham
31:43Yeah
31:43You're in the naughty corner
31:44If agreement cannot be reached, I will need to intervene
31:48Andy Burnham's going to wake up with a horse head in his bed
31:51If he's not careful
31:54Boris Carleone
31:56Four days later and BBC News told us this
32:00After ten days of tough and sometimes acrimonious negotiations
32:04Greater Manchester is to be moved to the top tier
32:07Oh, it's done it
32:08Of coronavirus restrictions
32:10Oh, they've given in
32:11It's happened
32:12Without the explicit agreement of local leaders
32:16Without the explicit agreement of local leaders
32:19So the government have enforced it
32:21We have ways of making you lock down
32:24Yeah
32:25Is this a game of poker?
32:26Are they playing poker?
32:27With places and people's lives through a pandemic?
32:29Oh, he's not fucking happy, is he?
32:31But is they that though?
32:32Or would be
32:33Don't forget that Boris got the votes of a lot of people up north, Nutty
32:37They lent him the votes based on Brexit promises
32:42And also levelling up
32:43If the people of Manchester were planning on voting for him
32:47They're definitely not in any future elections
32:50The North remembers
32:52Remember that
32:53The North remembers
32:54Yes
32:54Look, literally every line that I say is out in Game of Thrones
32:57It's a bloody Game of Thrones
32:58The North remembers
33:00On Thursday, Channel 4 told us Rebecca's story
33:09Oh, look how beautiful she is
33:11I always got called like the mermaid of the family
33:14Because I always liked swimming that much
33:17Aw, the mermaid
33:19Aw
33:19I thought she'd pulled her muscle or torn something
33:22And the doctor said, looks like a blood clot
33:24Aw
33:25And I can feel a lump behind her knee
33:27Oh my god
33:28So it's just come out of nowhere
33:29And it just escalated really quickly
33:31And they just said, we're thinking along the lines of something is serious
33:35And I'd sort of blurted out and just said, what, cancer?
33:42Mm
33:42I really didn't understand what was going on
33:44How can little kids understand what's going on?
33:47It's difficult for adults to comprehend
33:49So how can you expect a child to get their head round it?
33:55My dad bought me a camera
33:56And then I started making, like, little videos, like, with it
34:01I'm doing with Aunt Bridget because I'm scared that I've got one
34:04Because it's starting to get hot in my room
34:07Oh, wow
34:12When she hit that first round of chemo, the decline's massive
34:15Ow
34:16Look at her
34:18Jesus Christ
34:21This is a little girl
34:22We shouldn't be seeing this happening to a little girl, let alone anybody else
34:25It's really difficult watching Rebecca go through so many different treatments and be in pain
34:31Oh, man, God
34:34I was just thinking, why has this happened to me? Like, did I do something wrong?
34:39No, you never, bless you
34:47This is heartbreaking
34:50She's still the same height and weight she was when she started this chemotherapy treatment
34:55And looks like she'll be stuck looking very childlike for the rest of her life
34:59Aww
35:02It's just not fair
35:05Eventually life does get back to normality
35:08Rebecca's back at school and then she relapsed
35:11Aww
35:12Oh, man
35:15When I found out I did have cancer again, I was like, why has it happened again?
35:21Horrific that she's had to go through it once, but then to just get her life back on track and
35:26it to happen again
35:28She's entering into her seventh year of treatment now and she never seems to get a break from it
35:33Seven years of treatment
35:37She knows it's come back three times
35:39Nobody's been able to say from the beginning that she would make it through
35:42So each time you've just got to hope for the best
35:45What is your biggest fear?
35:48Dying
35:49Oh, God
36:03I had a dream that my life was back to normal, but then when I woke up I just started
36:08crying
36:23All that she's gone through, Lee
36:25I don't know how the parents do it, how do they hold it together for her?
36:30Because as a parent that's your worst nightmare
36:35She's a little fighter, Lee, isn't she?
36:38She's definitely a little fighter
36:41One in two of us will get cancer in our lifetime
36:44Help us fight back
36:46To give 30, 20 or 10 pounds, text 30, 20 or 10 to 70404
36:52Or donate online at channel4.com forward slash SU2C
36:58100% of the money you give will fund life-saving cancer research
37:11In South London
37:12I hate cheese
37:13You're like, you hate cheese?
37:14I hate cheese
37:15Oh, what kind of person are you? Who don't like cheese, bruv?
37:17Me?
37:18Mo, and his good friend Babatunde
37:21How do you not like cheese? You're the only person I've ever met in the history of my life
37:24No, there's a lot of us
37:26You don't like cheese?
37:27There's a club of us
37:28Yeah, so you've never had the delicacy of having cheese on toast at 2am
37:31Oh!
37:35In West London
37:36Have you ever tried, if you mix half a glass of sparkling with half a glass of steel?
37:40Have you ever tried that?
37:41No
37:41Brilliant
37:42Good friends John and Roger
37:44It gives the water a sweet taste
37:46And it's not quite as fizzy to make you burp and fart a lot, you know
37:50It's really good
37:52It's good for your guts
37:53It's good for your guts
37:53Because bubbles aren't really supposed to be rough for you
37:56Yeah, man
37:57Yeah
37:58That's...
37:59Of all the things I was expecting to learn from a rock and roll legend
38:03It wasn't to mix you still in sparkling water
38:06It might have absolute useless information, John
38:08Excuse me
38:10On Sunday, there were more politicians getting a pounding on BBC One
38:15It used to be how Sunday was recovering from Saturday
38:20Now Saturday's goal was to bed early so I can get up for Andrew and Mark
38:30Do that again?
38:31I can't, we're one time only
38:33Right, who's he going to be punching today?
38:35My final guest this morning is the Cabinet Office Minister Michael Gove
38:39Oh!
38:40Oh!
38:41No!
38:42Welcome
38:43Are you going to...
38:44Good morning
38:45Here's the Boris bot
38:46Test and Trace
38:47Isn't it true that the Test and Trace system
38:48Also known as Major Balls Up
38:50Which has cost this country £9 billion
38:53£9 billion?
38:55£9 billion?
38:56For Test and Trace?
38:58What the fuck?
39:00It doesn't even fucking work
39:01It's having a marginal impact on transmission rates
39:04No
39:05No!
39:05For £9 billion they could pay security guards to stay outside everybody's homes and make them stay there?
39:11Literally
39:12That's what Sage says
39:13They're the science advisors aren't they?
39:15To the government, yeah?
39:16Sage
39:17And they're saying it's a crock of shit?
39:19Yeah
39:20Here's your advisors
39:21Sage
39:21Relatively low levels of engagement and testing delays
39:24When politicians drink water in questions like this
39:27They are under pressure
39:27They need to take a moment
39:29This system is having a marginal impact on transmission at the moment
39:34You know you're in for it when Andrew Mayer's got the readers on
39:36The first week of October, which is the last week for which we have figures
39:40Test and Trace found around 90,000 positive tests and spoke to 77,000 of those people
39:46So they're not even speaking to everybody who's had a positive test?
39:49They've missed out on 13,000 people?
39:52But the ONS system, which your government depends upon
39:55Oh, so there's two systems
39:56What's the ONS? Oh, Office of National Statistics?
39:59Yeah
39:59Found 183,000 new infections, so therefore the majority of people were neither tested nor traced in the first week
40:07of October
40:08Oh!
40:09Oh God!
40:10Fuck!
40:11Double!
40:12So test and trace have only got half of the number of infections versus what that actually is
40:17You spent like billions to do half a job
40:20I never did understand maths, did you?
40:22No
40:23Yeah
40:24Trace has reached 63% of their contacts last week
40:28Last week we've got vigorous fall, and that is the lowest percentage since
40:32Bend over, Michael, we're going in dry here, son
40:34What have you got to say to that now, Mike? It's there in black and white
40:37As the virus speeds up, the system is slowing down
40:42What's that?
40:44He's trying to press the off button on Andrew Mayer, isn't he?
40:47This is the specific thing, it's not that the system is slowing down, it is that the virus is accelerating
40:50fast
40:51Yeah, but is the system speeding up to catch up with the virus?
40:54Exactly, yeah
40:54If this virus just stopped growing and spreading and making people ill, we'd be alright
40:59It's the fucking virus's fault, don't blame our system
41:02The test and trace system is specifically designed to be at its most effective when you're bringing infection rates down
41:08If infection rates are going up, why are we using that system?
41:11This test and trace system will work amazingly when there's no coronavirus left
41:15Yeah
41:16Let's turn to Brexit
41:17Oh, here we go
41:18Do you think Michael Gove's thinking thank fuck for that?
41:21Yeah
41:21Give me Brexit
41:22Do you think the public are going to thank you for leaving the EU without any kind of trade deal
41:27in the middle of a global pandemic?
41:29Fucking hell
41:29That's a loaded question
41:32It's tough questioning today, Mary
41:34Could it get any worse?
41:36I think the public, like me, would rather
41:38Oh, good job, he stopped it there
41:39I thought he was going to say, I think the public, like me, I was about to go, only fucking
41:44don't
41:45How would you cope if you were being grilled by Andrew Mayer?
41:48I'd stay in bed, Mary
41:49No, but if you find yourself in the chair and Andrew Mayer's saying, so, Giles Wood, you've failed to get
41:56up on Sunday mornings normally
41:57I'd say, it's a fair cop, Gov, and you've got me banged to rights
42:02I'd just agree with everything he said, Nutty, and the sooner I can go, the better
42:06Get on with harvesting my pumpkins
42:13In Leeds
42:14Honest God, me and Grant like nearly fight over popcorn
42:17Dio
42:18Sisters Ellie and Izzy
42:20I bought some multi-pack bags and I hid the last one
42:25No, I'm going to tell you what I did too
42:28I put the last two bags of multi-packed popcorn in a bag
42:31And then Grant came over and wanted some out of my bowl
42:33I went, go get your own
42:35Quickly scoffed what were left in the bowl, knowing there were none left
42:40I like this
42:42Come on, give me the popcorn
42:45Can't
42:46You can
42:46These are my favourite
42:48What, crystallised with loads of flavour on
42:51Come on, they're my favourite too
42:54Come on, we can't fight in a pandemic of popcorn
43:00There's worse things in the... is it?
43:03On Friday night, BBC2 had us licking our lips as we caught up with this
43:09Let's watch the Nigella
43:11I like Nigella
43:13Yeah
43:18And for me, a meal, however simple, is a celebration of life
43:22She's very attractive, isn't she?
43:24Put your tongue in, Steve, put your tongue in
43:30Simply Nigella
43:31Simply Nigella
43:31Simply Nigella
43:31Simply Nigella
43:32Simply Nigella
43:32Oh, that's the first lie
43:40Countless recipes start with an onion
43:41But I prefer the sweeter, gentler tones of a banana shallot
43:47Shallots
43:47Aidy likes to put shallots in beans
43:49Yes, there she is, Nigella
43:51The lady of shallots
43:53See the way she said that
43:54The sweeter, gentler tones
43:57Set it up so nicely
43:59Even the way she cut it
44:00That you're like
44:00Ugh
44:01As if my mum would have ever heard of a banana shallot
44:05If banana shallots elude you, you could always use a small red onion
44:08If a banana shallot elude you
44:11Do you know what eludes me? The price
44:13I wouldn't normally cook with extra virgin olive oil
44:16Because that's not me
44:18And here is the joy of this
44:20Very suggestive look she gives, doesn't it?
44:22Well, well
44:23For men of a certain age, eh
44:25Hmm?
44:27The squid goes in just as it is, not chopped
44:30There it goes in, not chopped
44:32That looks horrible
44:33I don't, no, I don't think that looks
44:35It looks lovely
44:35Yeah, I do, I think it looks nice
44:36It doesn't look, it doesn't even look cooked
44:38Well, it's not yet
44:39Well, that'll be that then
44:40You either cook it quickly at a high heat
44:44Or go low and slow
44:45And this is low and slow
44:47Low and slow
44:48Low and slow
44:49Low and slow
44:50Low and slow
44:51Do you want a lot of that of the low and slow?
44:57Right
44:58Little souvenir
44:59From a holiday
45:00A splosh of ouzo
45:03Ouzo?
45:04Ouzo?
45:04If you don't have ouzo
45:05You could use vermuth
45:07She means vermuth
45:09It's important
45:09Who says vermuth?
45:11Vermuth
45:11Vermuth
45:12Oh
45:13Like Weymouth
45:13Vermuth
45:14I'd be happy with red or white
45:18I'm literally blown away by
45:20I can
45:22I can
45:23I can
45:23I can just see bloke saying
45:25It's alright love
45:25I'm just watching a cooking show
45:27On me own
45:29The moment of truth
45:31Here we go
45:31This better be good
45:34So that looks nice though
45:35That looks delicious
45:37Got a forest of dill
45:39That's nice
45:39Some chopped grass
45:40I was sat there thinking
45:41This needs dill
45:43I'm glad she put that in
45:44Mmm mmm there's a good bit here
45:46Must be a great bit here mate innit?
45:53No one has this much fun at my house
45:55With jazz music innit?
46:01You know that's those lying faces innit?
46:04The food's average but I just act like it's decent
46:07Yeah
46:07That all looked very nice but equally a massive hassle to make
46:12Oh
46:13Making it as an enjoyable thing
46:14That's part of it
46:15I've just enjoyed a biscuit
46:16Which was
46:17A manufacturing process I've completely outsourced
46:21To a factory somewhere
46:22Yeah but you outsource your eating at home as well
46:24Because I do
46:31See if you agree with what the celebs said about five guys a week
46:34The complete box set stream away on all four
46:36Stay with us here on Channel 4 and keep standing up to cancer
46:39Adam, Josh and Alex are all back together and not
46:42A moment too soon
46:43The Last Leg is live