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00:00Jenny, I'm doing pancakes. I've got you a real nice pancake.
00:02Oh, lovely.
00:03Pancake, ain't it?
00:04Yeah, what am I having?
00:05A pancake.
00:06Is it sweet or is it...
00:07Sweet.
00:08Mince, oh.
00:09It's a sweet one.
00:10Oh, go on then.
00:10We shouldn't have had it to do.
00:12No, I've just done it for you.
00:13Oh, you know.
00:14Look.
00:16Oh, Lee.
00:19Oh, I love that.
00:21My teeth don't look like that, do they?
00:23That's not your teeth, that's your tash.
00:25Oh, this is your cheeky sweat.
00:28I think it looks like you.
00:30Look.
00:32My tash.
00:35No!
00:37Oh.
00:38What an entrance.
00:39I'm living for this.
00:40Taser him.
00:42We don't talk like this all.
00:43I don't think so.
00:45Oh, here we go.
00:46What is that?
00:47Oh, shut up.
00:49This doesn't look real.
00:50I don't think it is.
00:51A flambroisier.
00:52What's a flambroisier?
00:54Oh, I knew it.
00:55No.
00:56This looks dodgy, doesn't it?
00:57Does.
00:57Why is it dodgy?
00:59This is going to go down so badly.
01:01None of us learn, do we?
01:03Wow.
01:05I hate you.
01:06Must remember that bellend.
01:08This is what everyone came for.
01:11The lamp bells were ringing with me, Mary.
01:13Least and apples are covered.
01:14Yeah.
01:15It's half the battle.
01:16In the week, Barack Obama said the aliens were real,
01:20we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:23The gladiators were flexing on BBC One.
01:27Trying to escape from Comet.
01:32Comet.
01:33She's so cute.
01:35She is giving glamorous.
01:37We're the same height, but totally different physique.
01:46We're like a before and after shot.
01:50Netflix wouldn't let a wall get in the way of true love.
01:53Connor?
01:54Yes?
01:54From the moment I met you, I knew I met my perfect match.
01:58Really, it's just like the next level dating app,
02:02but without a photograph.
02:03Oh, okay.
02:04Well, what do you think?
02:05When we met on the app, yes, you see some photographs of someone.
02:08There could have been anybody.
02:09Could have been anyone.
02:10I mean, you thought I was a bloke, didn't you?
02:13And ghosts didn't me.
02:13Not from the photographs.
02:16You hadn't shaved that day.
02:20And there was desk-based daylight robbery on Prime Video.
02:25On your feet!
02:26Hands in the air!
02:28Hands in the air!
02:29We used to get shot lifters all the time when I worked in town.
02:32It was brilliant.
02:32I just loved the drama of it.
02:34You know, I wasn't on security, so I didn't care less.
02:37And plus, you know, some people,
02:40if they're stealing, like, kids' clothes or whatever,
02:43just turn a blind eye.
02:45They mustn't eat it.
02:46And that is why Debenhams is no longer on the high streets.
02:57In Leeds...
02:58Going on a date tomorrow.
02:59With someone else?
03:00Yeah.
03:00You're alive!
03:01No.
03:02Chat to me, where are you going?
03:04Bowling.
03:04Best friends Danielle and Daniella.
03:08Nice.
03:09Because apparently my personality doesn't come out over a coffee,
03:12but my personality might come out, in a positive way, over bowling.
03:15I'm going to be honest.
03:16I'm really competitive.
03:17You're competitive and you're an arsehole.
03:19I know, but I'm going to pretend I'm not tomorrow.
03:23I'm going to wait till we're married!
03:26On Saturday night, famous faces in fancy dress were having a sing-song on ITV.
03:32Nothing says episode finale, like a glass of Prosecco.
03:37The only good thing about this programme, Charles, is it's the final.
03:41Which will allow us time for our brain cells to regenerate.
03:45Regenerate.
03:45Having been turned to mush by watching it.
03:47Who are ya, who are ya, who's that behind the mask?
03:52Woo!
03:54Who's behind mask?
03:55That's an older version.
03:57Who's behind mask like?
03:59First up tonight, they came, they saw.
04:02Will they conquer?
04:03It's conquer!
04:05Oh!
04:06See what he did there.
04:07Who chose to dress up as a conquer?
04:09I love a conquer.
04:12Look out for clues, Daniela.
04:14There's clues in here.
04:16Every jest has been an adventure, but now, reality.
04:20Reality?
04:21Does that mean a reality show?
04:23See, when they talk in this silly voice, you don't know who's what, where, when.
04:27They sound the same, don't they?
04:28I'm having kittens just thinking about it.
04:31Kittens?
04:32Pussycat dolls.
04:33Cat, Deely.
04:34Cat.
04:34It could be Cat, Deely, nothing.
04:38Used to count him down.
04:39Countdown!
04:40Jimmy Carr.
04:41Oh, there's it.
04:43He won't be on this shit, will he?
04:44Who's the presenter of Countdown?
04:46Carol Voldemort, or whatever she's called.
04:51I woke up today with this feeling
04:55The better things are coming my way
04:58It's not a...
04:59It's not a pussycat doll, is it?
05:01Why?
05:02Cos the bloke.
05:03And if the sunshine hasn't mean it
05:05It's telling me not to let things get in the way
05:09I know that voice.
05:10Yeah, that's definitely not a singer, that.
05:12Yeah, they're seeing it, isn't it?
05:14Yeah, they're saying it.
05:15I'm on up and go down, baby
05:17Take a good look around
05:20This is a terrible forced jealousy, isn't it?
05:23Oh, who the bloody hell could it be?
05:25Susie Dent, baby.
05:26She's not a coppy.
05:28Mum.
05:29Get on up!
05:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:34Who do you think is behind the moth?
05:36Absolutely no idea.
05:38What about him off this morning?
05:41Who?
05:42McDermott?
05:46Who? McDermott?
05:55Because she sang uptown funk.
05:58Uptown funk.
05:58I'm running rings around those other master singers.
06:01Hoops, rings, Olympics.
06:03Right.
06:04Kelly Holmes.
06:05Oh, I've not got a clue with all this.
06:08I want to take a bit of time
06:11Oh, a little time.
06:14A little time to think things over.
06:17Let me listen to the voice.
06:23Whoever the fuck this is can see anyway, jeez.
06:27With a voice like that, that's got to be a professional.
06:29I don't know if I could face it again.
06:34Oh, I love her voice.
06:35This is Janet Jackson, this, Soph, I'm telling you now.
06:38Is it shite?
06:40I want to know what love is
06:43I want to know what love is
06:47I do think it's Fleur East
06:49and I can't even remember now why I said that.
06:51I want you to show me
06:54I want to know what love is
06:57You're right into it, aren't you?
06:59I want to know what love is
07:01It's got to be someone from a UK girl band, isn't it?
07:04Like Mystique, Sugar Babes.
07:07What about Mucho Bueno?
07:11She's got to win it, love.
07:12Marth's got to win it, without a shadow of a doubt.
07:15After revealing the champion
07:17It's Mum!
07:19Yes!
07:21Yes!
07:21Deserved and all.
07:23We got to see who was who.
07:25Take it off, take it off, take it off.
07:28Take it off, take it off, take it off.
07:31You're too fast, Mum.
07:32Take it off, take it off!
07:35Take it off!
07:35Oh my God!
07:36What the fuck?
07:37No!
07:39Ben Shepard?
07:40I guessed it was Cat Dealey, Natty, but I'd forgotten that it was a man singing.
07:47I didn't think he was doing something else, was he climbing a mountain or something?
07:50Yeah.
07:51Ben Shepard's a multi-talented man, he does Sky Sports as well.
07:54Good, Mark.
07:55Here's our 2026 champion, and it is time...
07:58Yes!
07:59Oh, here we go.
07:59Come on, let's see who it is then.
08:01Come on, Mark!
08:02Everybody!
08:02Take it off!
08:04Take it off!
08:06Take it off!
08:06So, once again, park your brain at the reception and join them in saying...
08:11Take it off!
08:13Take it off!
08:14Take it off!
08:17Take it off!
08:19Take it off!
08:21Take it off!
08:21Take it off!
08:21Take it off!
08:22It's Keetha!
08:23It's Keetha!
08:25It's Keetha!
08:26Yeah!
08:27From the sugar bathes!
08:29Oh, it's her at a sugar bathes!
08:31No!
08:32You were close with one of the sugar bathes, you just got the wrong babe.
08:36Put it this way, when I was trying to describe me image, it was Ben Shepard here, but McDermott here.
08:45It's not McDermott.
08:49What's his first name?
08:51Dermott.
08:53What's his second name?
08:54It's Dermott or Levy.
08:55Why am I calling him McDermott?
08:57I don't know.
08:58Has anyone ever called him that before?
09:03I'm sorry.
09:04Why is it that as soon as something happens in this house, everyone screams my name?
09:10Dad!
09:11The power went off yesterday.
09:12We had a power cut.
09:14Sarah, her husband Andre, and their daughter Shay.
09:17All the lights gone off and Aidan turns around to me like, Dad, what's happened?
09:22I was like, we got a power cut.
09:23Two seconds later, who is it shouting down the stairs?
09:27Shay?
09:27Dad!
09:28Dad!
09:29There's no power!
09:30I'm like, yes Shay, it's called a power cut.
09:33Fix it!
09:33Everything is Dad!
09:35Dad!
09:36Yes, Shay!
09:37Yes, Aidan!
09:39Yes, Sarah!
09:40What do you want me to do?
09:41No, no, because Shay came into the room while I was watching TV.
09:44Yeah!
09:45And I was...
09:45Did you do...
09:46Did you...
09:47I said, yeah.
09:48And I said, go and ask her, Dad.
09:50Oh, is that your fault then?
09:52Dad!
09:52Dad!
09:53On Tuesday night, we got some cost-cutting tips for our holidays on Channel 4.
09:58This is right up your Strava, isn't it, Padders?
10:01Oh, ah.
10:01Surprised you haven't got a little notebook out.
10:03It's all going in, don't you worry.
10:05I'll tell you what, if you watch this, and you book a holiday, and it's a good price,
10:10I'll be amazed.
10:12Yeah.
10:13Because you can't even check in online.
10:16Is there anything more satisfying and exciting than being on holiday?
10:24No!
10:25No, it depends where you are and who you're with.
10:28Why are you looking at me like that?
10:30Because every time we've gone on holiday together, there's always been a fucking disaster.
10:34Yes, a bargain holiday, of course.
10:37OK.
10:38OK, chat to me.
10:39Everybody loves a bargain, don't they?
10:41Yes.
10:41This time, I'm going all in on that oh-so-indulgent, all-singing, all-dancing holiday, the all-inclusive.
10:51I love an all-inclusive.
10:53I never, ever go all-inclusive.
10:55That is criminal.
10:57Cancun.
10:58Let's go to...
10:59Mexico.
10:59Let's go to Cancun, Mary.
11:01Well, Philip said we should go there, actually.
11:03Philip?
11:04Wetton.
11:05Oh, yeah.
11:08When you go to all-inclusive, you...
11:11As soon as you open your eyes, the trick is to start drinking.
11:15Like, me and Ben love an 8am gin on the balcony.
11:18But this is the problem.
11:20It's scroats like you...
11:23...that take the piss and ruin it for everybody else.
11:29Secrets of...
11:30No.
11:30Oh.
11:31I like a bit of mystery.
11:33I'll tell you.
11:33You love a buffet.
11:34I will tell you what the secret is.
11:35You actually love a buffet.
11:36You've got to stop going for the carbs.
11:38You need to fill up on the meat and the seafood.
11:41That is how you get your bucks worth.
11:45With so much choice, all free, it's hard not to go overboard.
11:50At the buffet, it'd be so easy to overindulge.
11:53Yes, you can pile your plate with anything you want.
11:56And then go back for seconds.
11:57Well, you see, you can't on the manjaro.
12:00It'd be no good.
12:01But there is a good reason to plate your food thoughtfully.
12:04Plate it thoughtfully?
12:06Yeah.
12:06It's called your waistline, isn't it?
12:09You don't.
12:10I'm meeting Professor Barry Smith,
12:12an expert in the psychology behind our food choices.
12:16Of course a Barry Smith would suck the fun out of an all-inclusive.
12:20What else was Barry Smith putting this world for?
12:23I mean, you eat with your eyes, Professor Barry Smith.
12:26Is that what he's going to say?
12:27He's going to tell me how to get maximum pleasure
12:30from my all-inclusive smash and grabs.
12:32Is he going to tell us how to eat at a buffet?
12:35You know what, I need this.
12:36I need this.
12:36I'm disgusted.
12:37No, I need this.
12:38I think they're eating too much into this.
12:40You just get your plate of food and sit down and eat it.
12:42We eat first with our eyes.
12:44You say, that looks delicious.
12:46Oh, I tell you what, he's on the ball here.
12:47He is.
12:48Oh!
12:49I could be Professor Jay Minty, really.
12:52And even in the buffet, it's spread out in a way that's attractive.
12:55So don't undo all that work by piling everything on the same plate
12:59in a haphazard way.
13:00Jay!
13:03I don't like that.
13:04Push me right off.
13:05You know when you see it piled up like that, I don't like that.
13:07I think that looks horrible.
13:09I'd rather go up ten times.
13:11Well, you do.
13:12I have to say, I have been guilty of piling far too many things on my plate at a buffet.
13:19Yep, that is you.
13:20I'm with you, darling.
13:21That is you.
13:22100%, hundy-pundy.
13:23Get there, and that's, fuck, there's pasta.
13:25Let's put a bit of that on.
13:27It's still there.
13:28You're just going to eat.
13:28Does it matter that carbonara doesn't really go with berf borgignot?
13:32No.
13:33Wrangs.
13:34We have to be our own chefs, as it were, and think, what's the right menu here?
13:39Oh, where's the fun in that?
13:41No, I like it.
13:42I like the orderliness of it all.
13:44No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
13:47Arrange it in such a way as it would be attractive if you were offering that plate to someone else.
13:52To someone else.
13:52Now, I'd be naffed, wouldn't I, trying to build a plate for you?
13:56Huh?
13:56Yeah.
13:57Well, I'd start off with a bit of dried bread.
14:00Yeah.
14:01Chips.
14:02Chips.
14:02Chips, yeah.
14:03Chicken.
14:04Just chicken.
14:06And dried bread.
14:06Bit of dried bread.
14:08Shirley's happy.
14:09And that's it.
14:09I mean, we can arrange stuff so that it doesn't, things don't cross-contaminate.
14:13Like, I wouldn't want me Indian touching my Chinese and my Chinese touching me British,
14:17do you know what I mean?
14:19It smells like reform.
14:32In Manchester...
14:32Sean, seeing what your dad did.
14:34Give me this for Valentine's Day, I saw it.
14:37The diamond straw.
14:38I bought me something jewellery-ish.
14:41Got it out of the bag.
14:42Boxed chocolates.
14:43The Malones.
14:44It's the thought that counts, isn't it?
14:46Valentine's Day.
14:48Why would you put it in a diamond bag?
14:51A diamond straw bag.
14:53Why would you do that?
14:55It's pleasing on the eye.
14:57You know, it's...
14:58Ta-da!
15:00Chocolates.
15:01What do we give chocolates to Sean for, anyway?
15:06On Saturday night, we were back in Sheffield with the fittest people on telly.
15:12Urgh!
15:15That went in my mouth.
15:16You know when you used to go to the gym for that one time?
15:19Yeah.
15:20What was the best apparatus you used to use?
15:22Did you use one?
15:23The toilet.
15:24I used to go sit on it for a sit-down.
15:26The human radiator.
15:30Do you know what somebody was saying to me the other day?
15:33That they exercise for the mental health.
15:34And I actually think that exercise makes my mental health worse.
15:38Like, I'm being serious.
15:39I hate it that much.
15:41In the programme, contenders Helena and Nicky were ready to face off in the final game.
15:50Oh, this is the cutscene.
15:52This is my favourite.
15:53Never been to a gym in my life.
15:55I would rather stick pins in my eyes than go to a gym.
15:58Contenders, ready!
16:01Come on, girls.
16:02Three, two, one.
16:06Here goes Nicky with the first hurdle.
16:09Oh!
16:10Awkward landing.
16:11That might have jarred.
16:12Oh, Nicky!
16:13Oh, that'll cost her.
16:15The second hurdle was a little bit awkward for Nicky, too.
16:18Let's see what a rocker body strength's like.
16:19Oh, she's just a wee girl.
16:21Look at her.
16:21I just could not do that.
16:23I know.
16:23It's a real struggle.
16:25Nicky can't get her feet on the platform.
16:27Use your legs.
16:28Use your legs up the rope.
16:29Nicky really struggling as Helena gets onto the overhead.
16:33Nicky's not getting up that rope at all, Jay.
16:35No.
16:36Finally, Nicky is up there.
16:37Oh, she's on.
16:38Oh.
16:39And jumps for the first rung of the ladder, but she's gone.
16:42She missed it.
16:43Oh, no.
16:44She must have had slippy hands.
16:46Slippy hands.
16:47Don't laugh.
16:48Don't laugh at our Nicky, bless her.
16:50Well, it's wide open now for Helena to go through and win this eliminator.
16:55Helena's won this.
16:55She's just got to take her time now, hasn't it?
16:58Nicky takes on the rope once more.
17:00Oh, she could hardly get up at the first time.
17:02She's got no fucking chance this time, hasn't she?
17:04She needs someone to bellow in her ear.
17:07You've got this.
17:10Here we go.
17:11It does the same thing.
17:13Nicky's up there.
17:14Another jump and another fall.
17:16Again!
17:16Oh, fucking hell.
17:18I think I'd give up at that stage.
17:20Oh, I would, yes.
17:20I'd get to have a gin and tonic.
17:21Another hope in hell.
17:22A mistake-free finish, and she wore a ladder.
17:26Would've given her a ladder?
17:27Would've given her a ladder?
17:28Yeah.
17:28What's that about?
17:29Reasonable adjustments.
17:31Yeah.
17:32That's what that is.
17:33You know what?
17:33Now I've seen that ladder, I might enter this.
17:36All Nicky can do is keep going.
17:38If I ever get on gladiators, I want to go against Nicky.
17:40I can't wait to see her on the zip line.
17:43Straight on the deck.
17:45Straight down.
17:46Now for the travelator, she takes a moment to look around.
17:49Here we go.
17:51The humble eater.
17:52Helena's going insultingly slow, isn't she?
17:54Yeah, I know.
17:55Here goes Helena.
17:57Come on, Helena!
17:58Go on, Helena!
18:00First run of the travelator.
18:02Jane?
18:02Simon.
18:03She's not making any progress, Mary.
18:05And she's gonna run out of steam here.
18:07Oh, no!
18:08She's collapsed!
18:09That's not very good, is it?
18:11She's still got ages, though.
18:13And all of a sudden, there's a confident stride about Nicky and Blue.
18:17Helena, get up there.
18:18She's behind you.
18:19She'll be able to sense that Nicky is now close behind.
18:23Oh, no!
18:24Oh, no!
18:25She's gone again!
18:26Let's go!
18:27And she might be even closer in a moment.
18:30Oh!
18:30Oh!
18:31Have they had some upstream before this show?
18:34Ah!
18:34Not even on a piece of apparatus and she's falling over.
18:37Nicky's falling over a flat floor.
18:39I've never seen an eliminator like this.
18:42Wait, is Nicky going to do it?
18:43Surely Nicky can't win because she used the ladder.
18:46Can Nicky achieve the impossible?
18:47Nice one!
18:49Come on, Nicky!
18:50Is it worth it, ladies?
18:52Yet another ball means she has to start again.
18:55Wait, this has gone down to the wire, hasn't it?
18:58And they go together!
18:59Come on!
19:00Come on!
19:01Oh, my God!
19:02Oh, my goodness!
19:03Who's got it left in them?
19:05Go on!
19:05Go on!
19:06Go on!
19:07Come on, Helena!
19:08Come on, Helena!
19:10It's a powerful run here!
19:12Helena made it!
19:13Oh, wow!
19:14She's up!
19:15Helena's up!
19:16And she holds on!
19:18Well done!
19:19What a fight!
19:20She's been so, so determined to finish!
19:24Finally!
19:25But do you know what?
19:25You've got to give it to Nicky for just catching up.
19:28Yeah.
19:28Fair play.
19:29She gave it her best.
19:31If at first you don't succeed,
19:32try and try,
19:35and then get a set of steps there.
19:40In Leeds...
19:41Well, Margaret's back from her holiday,
19:43and I haven't heard a peep from her.
19:46Well, I've heard off her this morning,
19:48and I thought,
19:48no, I'm too happy to see you today.
19:51I thought,
19:51I'm busy for the next 11 days,
19:53I just want to have a chilled slow morning at home.
19:55Yeah.
19:56Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
19:58And then,
19:59Ezra's a little bit unwell as well,
20:01but I've not told anybody about it really,
20:04apart from Mum maybe,
20:05I'm not sure.
20:06And Katie texted me saying,
20:09oh, I've heard Ezra's not well,
20:11so I think that Mum's told Margaret,
20:13Margaret's told Katie,
20:15and Katie's sexed me.
20:17Yeah.
20:17That's exactly what's happened.
20:19I thought, Jesus Christ.
20:21You don't need a town crier with relatives like a...
20:24No!
20:25This week, we were back in the box,
20:27looking for love on Netflix.
20:29Love can be quite blind, can't it?
20:31If you think about it,
20:33because you see some people together and you just go,
20:35well, that isn't really right.
20:40You have to see somebody.
20:42Yeah, but you're lookest.
20:43I'm totally lookest.
20:45100%.
20:45I'm judgy.
20:47I judge you.
20:49I'm holding out for someone who gets me.
20:53Kevin is talking to two girls,
20:57and he's leading them both on.
20:59Not picked between the two of them yet,
21:01but he's letting each one think they're the only one.
21:05I'm just going to say it,
21:06because I just can't with this whole fucking secret of shit.
21:08Yeah.
21:08It's me and Kia.
21:10Oh, wow.
21:10Tyler's going to make Kevin choose here.
21:12Me or her, let's go.
21:13Yeah.
21:13You and Kia have been phenomenal.
21:17I don't want to fucking let anybody down.
21:20Oh.
21:21Oh, you got to.
21:22I don't know what your journey is with Kia,
21:24but what I would need, like, today is for you to...
21:30Choose me.
21:31Exactly.
21:32Only be dating me.
21:33I've been put on the spot like that a few times, bro.
21:38I guarantee he's going to deflect this and not make a choice.
21:41You've been just so fucking steady rock fighting for it.
21:48So fucking steady rock.
21:51Like, wow.
21:52Then pick her.
21:54What are you waiting for?
21:56That's true love right there.
21:57That's fucking true love.
22:00Why do you have to swear all the time, Kevin?
22:02He does have a potty mouth, doesn't he?
22:03So what are you going to do, Kevin?
22:07She's done with the bullshit there, Kevin.
22:09What are you going to do?
22:10She's pinning him down.
22:11Make a choice.
22:11I am choosing...
22:13Yes.
22:14...fucking Tyler.
22:16Oh, I don't like the F word being used.
22:18Fucking Tyler.
22:19This is truly...
22:20You didn't say that.
22:21You didn't say that.
22:21You didn't.
22:22Are we, like, official?
22:26You are currently my girl.
22:29Currently.
22:29Don't know what's going to happen later on in your date.
22:31But right now, we're good.
22:34I mean, if you think about it, you know, Paige is currently my wife.
22:36That's your current wife.
22:37Yeah, that's the current wife.
22:39Sounds like bloody Henry VIII.
22:41Tyler still had a few questions about Kevin's other love interest.
22:46Is there any parts of you that feel like you have, like, feelings of love for her?
22:51Oh, hang on.
22:52The answer here is no.
22:55No, none.
22:56She's dead to me.
22:57Is he going to know that?
22:58Love.
23:00Love is a very strong word.
23:05I'm thinking, well...
23:07Yeah.
23:08But I will say, I'm definitely, you know, bonded, exchanged gifts.
23:13It's relating to a lot of...
23:16A lot of stuff.
23:17What?
23:18Spit it out, Kevon.
23:19He's kind of not saying anything.
23:22How are you going to tell me that?
23:23You literally asked me to be your girlfriend.
23:26I don't know if he asked you.
23:27I think you asked him to ask you.
23:29Yeah.
23:30I'm going to go.
23:31There we go.
23:32Oh, she's going.
23:32Well, she's laid it on the table.
23:35Kevin, what are you going to do?
23:36Well, he's going to use that as an excuse to go with the other girl now.
23:39You reckon?
23:39She's too feisty.
23:40She's too much.
23:41I think it might draw him closer.
23:43Tyler, don't go.
23:44This man has no conviction to his words like this.
23:49Don't go.
23:49Don't go.
23:50Please.
23:51You're the love of my life.
23:53I fucking love you.
23:58Tyler makes me feel like she may be the one.
24:00Oh.
24:01He's choosing Tyler.
24:03So I'm ready to see if she's available and she's ready to see me.
24:07Okay.
24:08The next day.
24:10Hey.
24:14Tyler?
24:15What?
24:16Is she there?
24:17I bet she hasn't turned up.
24:19Hello, hello.
24:22Go away.
24:23She's not there.
24:24She's gone.
24:25She's pushed off.
24:31Oh, no.
24:33Nobody's on the other side.
24:35Now that's the wake up call, isn't it?
24:38Yeah.
24:38Well, plan B now.
24:39Plan B.
24:41Uh, Kaya.
24:42Hey.
24:43Hi.
24:44Oh, you'll be cool.
24:45Jesus Christ.
24:46God knows where this is going to go.
24:48How are we feeling?
24:50We are feeling good.
24:52I'm like, yeah, listen.
24:53I know I didn't choose you, but I choose you now.
24:55That's all that matters.
24:56All I know is that Kaya is one of one.
25:00Kaya is here.
25:03Unlike Tyler.
25:04My heart has always been loving and caring for you.
25:10I think he's listened to one too many R&B albums, son.
25:13What a load of bloody cock and bull.
25:16Jeepers, has he heard himself?
25:18Kevin, oh, my God.
25:20Oh, she's buying it.
25:21Oh, no, she's bought it.
25:21She's bought it.
25:22Kaya, don't listen to his crap.
25:25I'll be honest.
25:26Like, I asked Tyler if you want to try to make something happen.
25:29And then Tyler went home.
25:32I didn't want to see her go either, you know?
25:35Stop.
25:36Kevin, I have love for you.
25:37And you've said so many, so many kind words to me.
25:40Here we go.
25:41I feel a boat.
25:42She ain't no fool.
25:43Do you reckon?
25:44I think she's falling for it.
25:45However.
25:47Yes, conjunction is clart.
25:49It's not even a but, it's a however.
25:51Love it.
25:51Formal.
25:52I have to stand on business when I say that you are not the one.
25:55For me.
25:56Well played.
25:58Lock it.
25:59Yes, know your worth.
26:00Run, Mark.
26:01Yeah, Kevin.
26:02Move on.
26:03Go ahead.
26:06Get your shit together, you know?
26:08Yeah.
26:09And be great.
26:11Can you remind me of the names of the other girls that's in the room?
26:14I bet he goes back in there and goes, yeah, I want you to fuck it up.
26:17Ha ha!
26:18Geez.
26:19Fucking hard work, I told you.
26:21Tapped.
26:21Somebody else's problem now.
26:32In Wiltshire.
26:33Come on up here, Merlin.
26:35Where's his arm holes?
26:37Wait a minute.
26:37That's his head hole, isn't it?
26:39No.
26:40Where's the other hole, Giles?
26:42Giles and his wife, Mary.
26:44Can you be more cooperative, Merlin?
26:46Yeah.
26:47And then, oh.
26:48And then, that'll help him get through the cold spell, Noddy.
26:52That's it.
26:52The cold snap.
26:54This is another cold snap, Mary.
26:56Look at him.
26:57Isn't he divine?
26:58Yes.
26:59Now pull it back down again, otherwise he's going to look like…
27:01You see, he likes it with a hood.
27:03Yes.
27:03Oh, that's much better with a hood, isn't it?
27:05And he looks like…
27:06Now look at his beard now.
27:07He looks like Santa Claus.
27:09Now I'll give him a treat.
27:10Now he looks like Noddy Holder.
27:12On Friday, ITV News was celebrating Downing Street's most popular resident.
27:18Come here.
27:19Come here.
27:20Come here.
27:21What's this?
27:21Come on.
27:24Oh.
27:24Straight upstairs.
27:25Okay.
27:26Bye then.
27:26Have you ever had that ball of cheese starter?
27:31I forget what it's called, but it's just a ball of cheese.
27:35That hot cheese.
27:38I don't even know if it's hot, but it's nice.
27:41Can't remember it that much, but it was very nice.
27:43Just a ball of cheese.
27:45And finally, there have been many comings and goings in Downing Street over the past 15 years.
27:50Telling me.
27:51And how.
27:52And how.
27:53A revolving door.
27:54But throughout it all, there's one resident who successfully kept his nose out of the dirty business of politics.
28:00The cat.
28:00The cat.
28:01The cat.
28:01Yeah, Larry.
28:03Has he died?
28:03No.
28:04Larry the cat was first brought in to clean out the rats in 2011.
28:08He's since gone on to worldwide fame.
28:11I reckon that explains why the comings and goings at Downing Street have been so much.
28:14He's been kicking their ass out.
28:16Oh, yeah.
28:16Oy.
28:17Thank you very much.
28:20He's served six prime ministers.
28:23I'll tell you what, if that cat could speak.
28:25Oh.
28:26Forming close friendships with some.
28:28I like how he's got his ass all up in Boris's face.
28:30I want to do that as well.
28:31Less so with others.
28:34Yeah, Larry ain't feeling you.
28:35No one wants to get stroked by Liz Truss.
28:38It was these repeated appearances.
28:40Oh, the rat flying across, look.
28:42Ew.
28:43That convinced Downing Street staff it was better to have headlines about cats than rats.
28:48They do say you're never too far from a rat in London though, don't they?
28:52Yeah, more so in Downing Street.
28:54It led them to Battersea Dogs and Cats Home, where Larry was described as a bit of a bruiser.
29:00Quite a big van for him to be delivered in.
29:02Yeah, I don't know if that's necessary.
29:03He could have gone in an Uber.
29:05In 2011, he was adopted by then Prime Minister David Cameron.
29:09Oh, so Cameron got him.
29:11Oh, yeah.
29:11He fucked off and then left the cat as well.
29:14Well, he left us.
29:15He left a sinking ship and a moggy.
29:17Early on, Larry seemed a little overwhelmed by his new surroundings.
29:23Look at that hair tag round his neck from rags to riches.
29:27I wonder if he goes back to Battersea City, like, give tugs.
29:31Yeah.
29:33Ted Tug.
29:33I was once in your cages.
29:35Listen here, you lot.
29:36There's chance out there for you.
29:41In Kent...
29:42So, I was in Wetherspoons, okay, and I was talking to this girl and I was really,
29:47you know, putting on the really good smooth talk and I was like,
29:50I'll get you a pint.
29:51Michael, Sally and their sons Jake and Harry.
29:54The pint in Wetherspoon is £1.99, okay, yeah.
29:58So, I went off and I was like, yeah, nah, I got you.
30:00And I went up, yeah, pulled it, went to pay, and then my card declined.
30:03Oh, my God.
30:04It was the most embarrassing thing.
30:06It's a £1.99 drink.
30:08And I was like, yo, I was like, yo, Nathan, Nathan, come here.
30:11I need you to go, I need you to go and pay.
30:12He goes, what, you need me to pay for it?
30:15You haven't got £2.
30:16I'm like, shut the fuck up.
30:17He said, oh, don't worry, I've got you.
30:19Bing.
30:20It was just like the most, the worst.
30:24So, did she come home with you last night?
30:25No.
30:26How much money did you have?
30:27£1.90.
30:30On Sunday night, there were more contestants standing about
30:34ready to show off their specialist knowledge on ITV.
30:38Talking about floors.
30:40I got fresh floor in the kitchen in the extension.
30:45And I don't know what kind of floor it is, but it's the best floor ever.
30:48I think it's wood.
30:54I might do types of colour or something like that.
30:57Shades of colour?
30:58Yeah, shades of colour.
30:59OK.
31:00I think it's quite difficult, though.
31:03So, Rob Brydon would show you a colour and you would say, I know what that is?
31:07Yeah.
31:08I'd like to see that.
31:10OK, let's light up the floor.
31:14I'm not a fan of this show.
31:15Do you know what it is?
31:16I don't feel like you find it intellectually stimulating enough.
31:19However, for me, perfect level.
31:22Oh.
31:24Oh.
31:24It's finally happened.
31:26Maybe it is quite exciting when someone lights up your box.
31:30You what?
31:30Let's see what the choices are, Gemma.
31:33They are Mackenzie with sports teams, birds, and we've got anatomy.
31:39What the fuck's anatomy?
31:41Oh, that's your private part.
31:42Hugh was telling his teachers about the anatomies the other day.
31:45I'm going to try and spread my wings, I think.
31:47Yeah.
31:48Ooh, that'll be birds.
31:50I like birds, but I wouldn't know them.
31:52I'd know a robin.
31:57Owl.
31:57Barn owl.
31:58Tawny owl.
31:59Tawny.
32:00That's a flamingo.
32:01Flamingo.
32:01I really want to see a flamingo once in my life.
32:04You've never seen a flamingo?
32:05No.
32:06Fucking hell, I have bigger dreams, mate.
32:10Ibis.
32:10Ibis.
32:11Oh.
32:12Crane.
32:13Stork.
32:13Stork.
32:14Oh, good shout, darling.
32:17Oh, no!
32:17I got it!
32:18Yes!
32:19A blue tit.
32:20I wonder why they call it a blue tit.
32:22It's blue, innit?
32:23It's titsy yellow.
32:25Yeah.
32:27Cock!
32:30I got woken up by a cock this morning.
32:32Not the sort of cock I might like, but the cock in the garden.
32:34The cock you do to do, haven't you?
32:37Woodpecker, woodpecker, woodpecker.
32:39Woodpecker, woodpecker.
32:40Hummingbird!
32:42That's the Jamaican national bird.
32:43Do you remember the hummingbird we had in the garden here?
32:45It wasn't a hummingbird, darling.
32:46It turned out to be a moth.
32:47We don't get them.
32:48Oh, them hummingbirds are beautiful.
32:49Pigeon!
32:52Oh.
32:52Cuckoo!
32:53It's a fancy pigeon.
32:54A mirror!
32:56Pass.
32:57It wore a cuckoo out of bloody hell.
32:59Did you know that were a cuckoo?
33:02That's why.
33:05Erm...
33:05Goose.
33:06Barrowhawk.
33:08Sparrowhawk?
33:08It's a fucking goose.
33:09Goose, goose, goose.
33:11Goose?
33:12Stork.
33:13Goose.
33:14Goose.
33:16Er...
33:16Heron.
33:17Is this woman blind?
33:18It's a fucking goose!
33:20She's never beat the park before.
33:22Turkey.
33:23Look at that gizzard.
33:25I know.
33:25I'm just looking at it, Jen.
33:26What are you saying?
33:28It's funny to see a turkey in real life other than just as a white corpse on Christmas Day.
33:33Yes.
33:34What the fuck's that?
33:36Kiwi.
33:37Kiwi?
33:37Oh, that's a kiwi.
33:38We don't see many of these around, do we?
33:41What?
33:42Birds.
33:43Like these.
33:44Well, you won't see kiwis.
33:45They're native to bloody New Zealand.
33:48Aye, well, half of them.
33:49I don't know half of them.
33:50I've never seen them flying round.
33:52Well, you won't see bloody chocans and parakeets flying round Caffili.
33:58Well done, honey!
34:00Well done!
34:02You did so well.
34:03Michelle, it's a good job you had Gemma on your team, to be honest.
34:07She's not on our team.
34:08At all.
34:09That's what we're having to eat tonight, Nutty.
34:12Partridge.
34:12Are we?
34:13They've been frozen, unfrozen.
34:17They've had three hours in the car and we're eating them tonight, Mary.
34:21What's the chance of us not getting food poisoning?
34:24Well, it won't matter.
34:24Yeah.
34:25It'd be good for us to be ill.
34:34In the Cotswolds.
34:36Oh, my God.
34:37The tanning shop just wished me Happy Valentine's Day.
34:40Well, I bet they did, darling, because you probably kept them going for the last five
34:43years.
34:43No, I don't go in there that much.
34:45Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
34:47Well, I went in yesterday.
34:49The last time I'd been in was 2013.
34:51I think they were steam-driven then.
34:54Well, you're positively glowing.
34:56I know.
34:57Absolutely.
34:57Honey-bronzed and very desirable.
35:01This week, it was a tense thriller set in the finance department that had us gripped
35:06on Prime Video.
35:08It's so nice for us to be able, in 2026, to sit down and watch a drama during these awful
35:16weeks of weather.
35:17I just think 100 years ago, there would have been nothing to watch and we would have been...
35:24Well, we'd have been huddling on the ground with livestock, Mary.
35:29Animals.
35:31Which is what I'm still doing.
35:34Hmm.
35:35Stop going for my hula hoops.
35:37No.
35:38Those are yours.
35:40No.
35:40Those are joint.
35:42That's me.
35:43That's me.
35:45Oh, yeah.
35:46This is steel.
35:47Sophie Turner, isn't this?
35:48From Game of Thrones.
35:49Ooh, Sansa.
35:52Are we in London?
35:53We're going to London, aren't we, in April?
35:55Yeah, we are.
35:58Markle.
35:59Oh.
35:59I'm so sorry.
36:01Is this Markle's first date?
36:02Were you on Game of Thrones?
36:04LAUGHTER
36:09Are these inspectors, do you think?
36:11Look at their faces on them.
36:13They're all storming into the office cos Prat-a-Manger has run out of overnight oats.
36:21I don't like that ginger one. He's scary.
36:24They all look scary, don't they?
36:26It's like a crackhead McCucknell.
36:27Have they all got prosthetics on?
36:29Cos they all just look a little bit funky, don't they?
36:34Oh, what's that all about?
36:38Oh, wow.
36:40Guns, yeah?
36:41What they're doing?
36:42You're not allowed guns in a workplace.
36:44Everybody listen in here right fucking now!
36:47Oh, my fucking God.
36:48This is my worst nightmare, this.
36:50Hurt you heads!
36:52Ladies and gentlemen, if you do exactly what I say, when I say it, you won't get hurt.
36:56Right, well, what do we need to do? Tell me.
36:57I think if it were me, I'd pretend to be dead already.
37:00I'd just lie on the ground.
37:02If you don't hear what I say, when I say it, you will be shot.
37:05Sometimes I struggle to listen, so what if I heard it wrong? I'd be dead.
37:09I'd just follow what everyone else is doing.
37:10It wasn't long before it became clear what the baddies were after.
37:15This.
37:16It's got the details of six trades on it.
37:18Source accounts, destination accounts, sizes.
37:20What, so he's going to force him to make trades?
37:22Yeah.
37:23I want you to load them all up into the trading system.
37:27So, no, that won't work.
37:28It won't work?
37:29Why won't it work?
37:30I don't know.
37:31Just load up the trade.
37:33Oh, don't be clever about it.
37:34Oh, please.
37:34He knows what he's on about.
37:35This is over four billion pounds.
37:38Over four billion pounds?
37:40OK.
37:40This is not a small heist.
37:43No.
37:44These are people's pensions.
37:45This is social workers, police, doctors.
37:48Let's do it.
37:48The trade.
37:49He's not bothered.
37:50Just do it.
37:51The guy stood there with a gun.
37:52You horrible man.
37:54I'd like to punch you in the face and take your stupid mask off.
37:58OK.
38:01That's all done.
38:02He's in!
38:03OK, that should be with you in 24 to 48 hours.
38:07The trades have been sent to the custodian bank.
38:09Yeah, but they'll know that we'd never send money to those accounts before,
38:12so they're going to call and ask what's going on.
38:14Yeah, you'll be here to tell them.
38:14Yeah, I mean, somebody's going to flag this smell of rat in this.
38:25Oh, my days.
38:27Someone answer it, please.
38:28Luke, answer it, please.
38:32What's she doing?
38:33Um, Lockmill Capital.
38:35How can I help?
38:36Good girl.
38:37Sorry, Zara?
38:38Zara, speaking.
38:40He knows her.
38:41Um, I just got the trades you guys sent through.
38:44I've never seen these accounts before.
38:46What's she going to see, Bea?
38:47I know.
38:48If they don't go through ASAP, I'm going to be in some serious shit,
38:52so if you could please just put them through as soon as you put the phone down, please.
38:56Yeah, Luke's going to have a bullet in his temple.
38:59I'll put them through today.
39:01Oh, my days, wow.
39:02But will she live or will she be shot dead now by that horrid man?
39:13Oh, my days, what is he reaching for?
39:15Don't be a hero.
39:17Hey.
39:19Hey.
39:20Hey.
39:21Shh.
39:21Don't call me.
39:22Yeah.
39:24We can signal.
39:25Oh, my God.
39:26I'd ignore him, mate.
39:28I'd say, shut up.
39:29Fuck off, fucking Superman.
39:40Who will see him?
39:41Who's going to see you?
39:48You call...
39:50Fingers.
39:51999.
39:52Oh, yeah.
39:53That's clever.
39:54Telephone.
39:5410-10-10.
39:55No, fucking 9-9-9, you silly bastard.
39:58Oh, I thought it was...
40:03I don't want him to be shot dead.
40:05He's quite good-looking.
40:10Oh, my God, a light.
40:13Oh, Jesus Christ.
40:15Nobody move!
40:18Who's going to pay for this mac?
40:21Oh, get back to the window.
40:24And an ambulance.
40:26Ambulance.
40:28Money's been transferred.
40:30Block and leave now.
40:31Money's in.
40:32Oh, let's go.
40:37They've got away with it.
40:39The car don't.
40:40Oh, no.
40:41Please don't kill anybody.
40:46I hate they got out.
40:53Oh, the relief.
40:55Someone must have told them.
40:56So you think it's one of ours?
40:57Makes sense, right?
40:58I mean, how else could they do it?
41:00They did know it all, didn't they?
41:01Yeah, to be fair, yeah, they did.
41:02An inside job?
41:03But who is it?
41:04You need to figure out who the inside man was.
41:06Yeah, whoever turns up tomorrow in a Ferrari.
41:08Whoever turns up in a Ferrari tomorrow.
41:10LAUGHTER
41:16Oh!
41:18No, surely not.
41:23Sarah!
41:25God, I've heard about nicking a pencil or a rubber from work,
41:28but fucking hell, not four billion.
41:30No.
41:30That is crazy.
41:31They've just got away with four billion pounds.
41:34I know.
41:34They'll be able to go for a five, guys.
41:36Well, they won't get any bloody change.
41:38LAUGHTER
41:41You know...
41:42Hey, Jenny, you know, with the weather,
41:44I mean, have you seen this broad?
41:46Lee, please don't put that up in here.
41:47I'm not going to...
41:48Why?
41:48It's unlucky.
41:49It's unlucky, don't you?
41:50It changes colour.
41:52What, when it's raining?
41:53Yeah.
41:53Best friends Jenny and Lee.
41:56Ooh, hang on a minute.
41:58Ooh, hang on a minute.
42:00Ooh, hang on a minute.
42:01What are you doing?
42:03I'm getting wet through.
42:03You just said, don't put it up in the house.
42:05Get off.
42:06Ooh!
42:07Where is it going?
42:09Look!
42:10Look at the colour.
42:11Hang on.
42:12How can I look at the colour?
42:13I'm getting pissing wet through.
42:15LAUGHTER
42:17On Friday, ITV had something for the weekend for us.
42:22Ooh!
42:23What the hell?
42:25That's monsoon-like, innit?
42:26I've been running round like a knobhead this morning.
42:28I've been to go and pick Ben's birthday cake up that I've had made,
42:32and then I've gone to get my eyelashes done.
42:34It's all go.
42:35When are they finishing them off?
42:36LAUGHTER
42:41Love is in the air!
42:42Oh, yeah!
42:43Yes, it is!
42:43Nice.
42:44Love is in the air.
42:46Hey, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow.
42:48I don't know what's got into that lately.
42:49Bottle of perfume for Valentine's Day.
42:52Wants to take me out for a meal.
42:54Said I deserve a treat.
42:56What's he after?
42:57Baby number two.
42:58You wish.
42:59If you're planning a Valentine's night in tomorrow...
43:02Then you're sensible.
43:03LAUGHTER
43:04Not being ripped off by a restaurant.
43:06Yeah, sat in a room full of balloons and roses.
43:08Then John Turow's back to help you cook a restaurant-quality meal at home.
43:12John Turow.
43:13I'm glad to see he's washed up on this morning, Nutty.
43:15Oh, he looks so pleased to be there, John T.
43:18Oh, it's got to be steak.
43:20I can just smell it.
43:21Oh, it's steak.
43:22Oh, yeah.
43:23Oh, yeah.
43:23Oh, yeah.
43:24So, I'm just going to do this and then we'll talk about the steak
43:26and what we've done with it and how it works.
43:27So, a nice hot pan.
43:29Yep.
43:29Always a hot pan.
43:30What we've got here is we've got a thick-cut sirloin which is now available in supermarkets.
43:34Yes.
43:34Oh, he's got a second steak here for dessert.
43:36LAUGHTER
43:37For me, this is enough for two, actually three, maybe even four people.
43:41Four people?!
43:42You haven't left!
43:43John has no right to be in a kitchen if he's going to be talking filthy like that.
43:47Like, that's going to do four people.
43:49So, what we want to do is just take that steak and just cut into that there and you cut
43:53all the way in.
43:54I do that.
43:54I do that.
43:55That is news to me.
43:57This is what it was worth getting up for this morning.
43:59And what that does is that the fat that's there and that little bit of connective tissue
44:03shrinks but it means the meat doesn't shrink.
44:05Oh, you wouldn't want your meat shrinking.
44:07Oh, no.
44:09Oil the meat, never the pan.
44:11God, I'll have to take tolstatin when I've eaten that.
44:14You want enough oil just for it to cook but you don't want too much oil that it's going to
44:19sort of braise in that.
44:21Yeah, oh, no.
44:22I like my meat oiled.
44:28Now, I sometimes put pepper on it.
44:30Pepper burns.
44:31Some people say the pepper burns.
44:33Look at you, Gordon Ramsay.
44:36I'm not just a pretty face.
44:37So, you know what?
44:38I'm going to put a little pepper on.
44:39Yeah, bring it on.
44:40And here we go, guys.
44:41Do your best at cagging me down.
44:43Chuck the pepper on.
44:45John's more animated these days, isn't he?
44:48I think Greg was holding him back.
44:49Turn it over and look at the colour of that already.
44:52Oh, my goodness.
44:53Oh, that.
44:54Look at that.
44:55Look at that.
44:56That's burnt.
44:56Look, we've got to make Valentine's Day as easy as possible.
44:59Yeah, you want an easy light.
45:00You know what?
45:00That's so true.
45:01Yeah.
45:01We've got lovin' to do here.
45:03Do you know what I mean?
45:03Yeah.
45:03It's Valentine's Day.
45:05Into the oven we go.
45:06Going to give that...
45:06Too much lovin' after that.
45:08All right, damn it.
45:08You cook me a steak like that, you'll have all the lovin' you want.
45:11Of course.
45:12I like lovin' before the steak.
45:13Oh, he likes to shack before a meal.
45:15I must admit.
45:17I don't mean shack.
45:18Oh, I don't want to know.
45:18Oh, la, la.
45:20Fucking hell.
45:20I don't want to know what you're going to do.
45:22No, as I just said, once I've eaten, all I want to do is sit and chill.
45:25We're going to add to that little bit of butter.
45:27Smells incredible.
45:28A little bit of rosemary.
45:29I ain't got time for putting the plants in it.
45:31No, not rosemary in it.
45:33I'm just going to pick that steak up and let it go underneath there.
45:35Oh, I like that.
45:37Yes.
45:38What are you doing there, John?
45:39Medium rare sort of thing?
45:40Medium rare, yeah.
45:41And it'll continue to cook.
45:42Yeah, it looks a bit crispy.
45:44Gosh.
45:45I think that steak...
45:46That steak is going to be like Land of Leather, isn't it, Mary?
45:49Yes.
45:50We've got chips.
45:51We've got dessert.
45:53In you go.
45:55Bit overdone for me, then.
45:57Yeah, I reckon that's cooked to buggery.
45:59Well overdone.
46:00I didn't realise I didn't know how to cook a steak, you know?
46:02Put it in a frying pan with some butter.
46:04Flip it over.
46:05Flip it over.
46:06Flip it over.
46:07Your chips, right, just toss a load of cheese and, like, chillies in them
46:10and then just slap them in the oven.
46:12You know?
46:13Every day's a school day.
46:15Thanks, John.
46:16That is why you're not the host of Astrid.
46:19And neither is he.
46:20Anymore.
46:25A Mersey Derby in the FA Cup fifth round.
46:29Full live coverage Sunday afternoon from four o'clock.
46:32And brand new factual drama.
46:34Dirty Business uncovers the sick truth behind Britain's sewage scandal
46:38beginning this Monday evening at nine here on Channel 4.
46:41Well up next, Bridget Christie's joining The Last Leg.
46:46You're a perfect, perfect world.