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00:05G'day, folks. It's Kenny Smythe here. Now, I know what you're thinking. What's your ugly
00:09muck doing on me zombie box? Well, some jokers in TV land reckon I know a thing or two about
00:14dunnies. And when the idea of celebrating the UN year of sanitation popped into the
00:18scones, guess I got a lot with the job of hosting the show. So come and explore the
00:23septic wonders of the world with me. Welcome to my world, Kenny's world.
00:51China. Land of pandas, Confucius, Kung Fu, and the name is stamped on the bum of just
00:58about everything ever made. Now, the Chinese have some interesting ideas when it comes
01:02to doo-doos. We'll get to that in a moment. For now, I'm in Shanghai with my girl Jackie.
01:08And with only eight hours up our sleeves before she bunks on a flight attendant uniform again
01:12and hits the skies, I was taking advantage of every second.
01:15Want a cup of tea or you're right?
01:17Apparently, if you throw the coin and it lands in Wood's hand, you'll be blessed with great
01:21luck for the rest of your life.
01:23Yes!
01:24All your wishes come true.
01:26Little did you know, they already had.
01:28My uncle used to smoke with something similar to this. He went and saw the doctor and the
01:32doctor told him to stay away from the cigarettes and he got right away from about two feet.
01:36Oh, you're a human conveyor belt. It just keeps covered.
01:39I think I should be in Top Gun. I think I'm Goose.
01:44I think I've got to play up now. He's brought the knife out.
01:51Jackie and I stopped in to check out a local Chinese herbivore shop.
01:55Chock-a-block with strange natural remedies.
01:58This stuff here has got bat guana in it, or bat poo, and it's supposed to help with night blindness.
02:03Truth be told, I thought we were all blind at night. I've got a cure for it. It's got a
02:07torch.
02:07You know, the Chinese aren't afraid when it comes to trying herbal or poo-able remedies.
02:12How about silk worm poop to cure diarrhoea?
02:15Or maybe you'd fancy some flying squirrel droppings for menstrual health.
02:18Hello.
02:20When travelling in some parts of Asia, it's often a good idea to carry a little roll of
02:24food tickets with you, because not all toilets in Asia actually have them inside.
02:28Maybe don't carry it on you like I am right now. Get a loved one to hang onto it.
02:33Do you want to hang onto that for us?
02:34That's a good bit of information. People should be told, don't you think?
02:38No toilet paper was actually invented in this country.
02:41In China?
02:41Yeah.
02:42No.
02:42Yeah, it was.
02:43Yep, it's bizarre to think that the country that really stocks this stuff actually invented it.
02:47But they did, back in 1391, for the emperor.
02:51I don't think I'd fancy being a part of that selection process, let me tell you.
02:56Wow.
02:57Wow.
02:57Que joe yo.
02:57Ha ha ha ha.
02:59Good work there, Toby.
03:02Ooh.
03:04Drunkula.
03:05Give yourself a little tap on the back there, Trevor.
03:07Nice one, son.
03:14And I think we can also assume from this that at the same time they may have invented sandpaper.
03:22Strangely enough, poo tickets on rolls didn't appear until the 1890s in the USA.
03:28Well, here we are at the Moon River Art Park in Shanghai, and I tell you this place is massive.
03:33They've got lakes and sculptures, and they've even got a huge marshmallow bouncing field.
03:40But have a guess what the biggest attraction here is.
03:43Yep, the famous Crystal Palace Toilets.
03:46They cost over 600,000 US dollars to build in 2004.
03:50And nearly a million people a year come here just to splash their boots and warm the seats.
03:55Dooley dooley.
03:56And Jackie and I were lucky enough to get a private viewing after hours.
04:01Sensational.
04:04You know, China is known for its tradition and history.
04:07But, boy, Zingos, once that sun goes down, the old Shanghai town goes nuts with neon, let me tell you.
04:13It's huge.
04:14And what could be more appropriate for a plumber and his girl than a cruise on a dinner dragon boat
04:19down the Huanpu River?
04:21A small confession?
04:22I knew they were saying chicken, but I obviously don't know the Chinese word for feet.
04:26So we've got chicken feet.
04:27But they haven't got footy boots on, so they might be tough or anything if you want to.
04:34It's such a fun city.
04:36Yeah, I know.
04:36We should come back.
04:38I'd love to come back.
04:39That wasn't me.
04:40I'm sorry.
04:43I can't even look at that.
04:44Now that's a portable television.
04:45Sadly, Jackie was leaving tonight, but the city put on a cracker fireworks show for her.
04:50And I'll be seeing her again soon enough.
04:55Did you know, back in the 19th century in Shanghai, there was a female crime lord who ran an empire
05:01entirely on poo and weeds.
05:02She'd send her minions out at night confiscating human waste and sell them to farmers for fertilizer.
05:08Talk about dirty money.
05:09What a stinker.
05:11And so my journey continues.
05:13I'm heading to the center of China, to a small town called Yanan.
05:17You know, it's amazing, but for the whole five-hour trip, I saw street cleaners every 200 to 400 meters.
05:23Literally hundreds of them.
05:25I couldn't believe it.
05:27I've stopped smack-banging the guts of China in a town called Yanan, home to the Bogota Hill, and it
05:33used to be the HQ for the Communist Party.
05:35So what am I doing here?
05:37Well, I've come to check out Biogas in action.
05:40Biogas is a curious source of power that at first I thought came from the old trouser tornado.
05:45But no, we're talking human and animal methane.
05:49This is Wang Mingying and her interpreter.
05:52She's the leader of the Shanxi Volunteers Association.
05:55They're a non-profit group who is doing a wonderful job traveling the country, helping less affluent farmers work with
06:02biogas.
06:02So we're on our way to see some of these less affluent effluent systems that work.
06:06And I tell you, I've got to be the luckiest plumber on earth, because I'm seeing parts of the world
06:11few people get to go to, let alone plumbers.
06:13So is this road here the only access to the village?
06:16Yeah, exactly.
06:17What happens if there's a car coming out of the way?
06:20Do we go straight over the edge?
06:21Is that what happens?
06:22Ah, so they have to reach it.
06:24They have to reach it?
06:25They have to reach it.
06:26Oh, this is war.
06:28Now, I don't know what kind of reception you're used to getting when you visit country folk, but I did
06:33not expect this.
06:38Is this for us?
06:39Yeah, the dancing for you.
06:42Really?
06:42Yeah.
06:43I can guarantee you one thing, I never get a welcome like this in Australia.
06:48When we return, I'm showing around a village that's almost run entirely on poo power.
06:57What a beautiful way to greet a stranger.
06:59I thought I'd actually stumbled in on a festival, but no, this was all laid on for yours truly.
07:04My dad always does a song and dance every time I rock up on his doorstep, but it ain't nothing
07:08like this.
07:09Fantastic.
07:10I don't know what I'm doing, but I'll get in there.
07:14What much the locals have thought.
07:15I guess it's not often that Yogi Bear makes an appearance in these parts.
07:19Am I doing the right to you?
07:20Is this what we do?
07:27Well, I tell you what, you know how to make a man feel welcome.
07:31No worries.
07:31Yeah, let's go.
07:32Everyone invited me into their homes.
07:34What a privilege.
07:35So this here, this is part of the biogas system here, and this here is what regulates it.
07:39Yeah, adjustable.
07:41Here we go.
07:42Look at that.
07:43And that there is running on human and animal methane right there.
07:46And on goes the kettle.
07:47And am I able to see the light work?
07:49A little bit of a zapper.
07:51Boom.
07:52There it goes.
07:52Look at that.
07:53So all the gas that's coming into here is all just from the toilets from this house and
07:59the animals just involved in this house.
08:01Yeah.
08:02How easy is that?
08:03We'd be able to run the MCG from Splacetown, if you know what I'm saying.
08:06I think we know now it works perfect.
08:08It's very good.
08:09And it doesn't stink.
08:10You know, for years the locals actually lived in these caves, but as the economy started
08:15to grow, so did the number of outside dwellings.
08:17Is that the original toilet there before they built the new one?
08:20And that's what you call an outhouse.
08:21That's completely out of the house.
08:23Right now we're going to go and find out where the biogas is stored.
08:26So that's the toilet in there, which is one of the standover ones.
08:29And right here is the pigsty.
08:31The pigs are here.
08:33And well, you can't fool me.
08:34That's not a pig.
08:35That's a dog.
08:36Actually, by the way, it got under there.
08:37It could be a rat.
08:38So what there is, there's two tanks.
08:40All the waste goes in one.
08:41If there's an overflow, it heads into the other tank over here.
08:44But all the rest of the gas, all the gas that comes out of that heads down this orange pipe
08:48that goes inside the house, wherever you're for, into that regulator.
08:53So, hey, Boggeroni.
08:54It's a remarkably simple and effective idea where both human and animal methane works
08:59to sustain local living.
09:00Almost six million Chinese households are powered this way.
09:04Who can argue with that?
09:06Apparently, the lady that lives here, that's her corn.
09:09And you know the old expression, hell hath no fury like a woman's corn.
09:13Well, there it is.
09:13All the trees are in the forest.
09:17They are all planted in the forest.
09:19Don't forget it.
09:21Oh, hello.
09:22Hey, mate, how are you going?
09:24Thanks.
09:26That's working.
09:27I think what we're witnessing here is the world's largest billy car.
09:30The thing's not actually making any noise.
09:32I don't even know if that thing's got an engine.
09:34It's just rolled passes.
09:36Watching these pigs eat, and I think now I truly understand the expression, great little pig.
09:43So the way it works out, a family of four with four little porky pigs can make enough
09:47biogas for most of their household needs.
09:50And who knows?
09:50If they've got a couple of curries on the menu, they might even be able to fire up a
09:53hot tub, bubbles and all.
09:55Yes, yes, yes.
09:56Well, thank you very much.
09:58These biogas systems also save a family from having to haul tons of firewood a year,
10:03which is pretty good for the environment in itself.
10:05Now, these apples, in fact, all the fruits and vegetables they grow around here, what they
10:10use as fertiliser to get them going is actually what comes out of the tanks.
10:14So not only are they getting the gas from it, but they get amazing fertiliser.
10:17Once the tanks fill up a bit, they scrape the contents out, mix it up and fertilise the
10:21soil with it.
10:21I guarantee you, these apples, they are very, very tasty.
10:25So how's that for win-win?
10:27All thanks to Wang Ming-Yi.
10:28While they're going in the house, I'm just going to go back to the toilet and I'm going
10:32to make a little power deposit, let them know I'm probably going to be able to get
10:36them right through until next winter.
10:37All right.
10:44So having filled their tanks with my generous deposit, our China tour has come to an end.
10:49And we were invited back to town for a farewell dinner.
10:52The crew and I were spoilt with a wonderful evening, the food, drink and song.
10:57And I tell you what, I couldn't get enough of old Sammy Davis here.
11:00I love a singer that can do his own photos.
11:03Good on him.
11:06Next up, I leave China for Singapore in search of the World Toilet Organisation.
11:15There's a lot of traffic.
11:16Here we go.
11:18So here I am in the marvellous Singapore, wandering the streets in search of the WTO,
11:23the World Toilet Organisation.
11:25It's got to be somewhere.
11:26I already know what a world headquarters of toilets would look like.
11:29But I wasn't on my Pat Malone there.
11:31Yeah, the World Toilet Organisation.
11:35The World Toilet HQ is a big deal.
11:38It's like the UN of you-know-what.
11:40So I reckon it's definitely going to be pretty impressive.
11:42Like this, or even this.
11:44I mean, it's the World Toilet Organisation.
11:47Is this what I thought all was lost?
11:49Snuck in a little corner?
11:50Oh, it's smaller than I was expecting, but there she is.
11:52I'm here to meet Jack Sim, who founded the WTO in 2001.
11:57Are you Jack or...?
11:58No, no, Jack's Jack.
12:00Oh, Jack.
12:01How you going, mate?
12:02How are you?
12:02Pleasure, mate.
12:03When it comes to toilets, Jack is well-connected.
12:06I'm from the Philippines.
12:07Fantastic.
12:08Ken, are you from Australia?
12:09Even the office is like the United Nations.
12:11Everyone I met was from a different corner of the world.
12:13How are you?
12:14Pleasure.
12:14With a long-term goal of improving syringe and sanitation around the world,
12:18he has a vision of everyone on earth having access to clean water
12:21and a properly sewed toilet.
12:23You'd think that wouldn't be such a tough wish.
12:26About 1.6 million kids die every year from diarrhoea.
12:321.6 million kids die a year from diarrhoea.
12:36I think it's only because people don't want to face this issue,
12:42don't want to talk about it.
12:43Movie stars die of AIDS, so AIDS become legitimized.
12:47And diarrhoea is no movie star die of diarrhoea.
12:52So people don't want to talk about it.
12:54The way the world works is really, really strange.
12:58I think what we need is not to criticise it,
13:02but to market it according to the way that emotionally appeals to them.
13:07We have some very beautiful ladies waiting for us.
13:10All right, okay.
13:10Unbeknownst to me, Jack had his marketing strategy
13:13all sitting in the next room.
13:14And if he's looking for an appealing strategy,
13:16I think he might have found it.
13:17I've arranged five beauty pageant finalists,
13:20and I want to use their beauty to help the strategy
13:24of the beauty and the beast to work very well.
13:27Am I the beast?
13:29Toilets is the last taboo in the 21st century.
13:34AIDS, homosexuality, sex revolution, woman liberation, leprosy,
13:39every taboo has been broken, and this is the last one,
13:42and I really need your help, everybody.
13:44He's a clever man, Jack.
13:45His idea is to photograph these ladies
13:47in areas of great poverty and need,
13:50drawing people's attention to the conditions
13:52when normally they just look away.
13:54Every 11 seconds, one child dies.
13:5742% or 2.6 billion people have no toilets.
14:02Unbelievable.
14:02That is one statistic I've never heard.
14:0642% of the world's population
14:08don't have access to good sanitation.
14:11That's just crazy.
14:13The rich have only a few children.
14:15The poor has a lot of children.
14:17Do you know why?
14:18Because when I ask them, they say,
14:19because I know some will die.
14:22Jack Sim is such an inspiring humanitarian,
14:25and while his passion for sanitation and toilets
14:27is focused on the world,
14:29he's also doing great things in his own backyard.
14:31We use a star rating.
14:33Star rating?
14:34Yeah, it's called a happy toilet program.
14:36We grade the toilet according to three star,
14:39four star, and five star.
14:41Of course, if it's no star, then they are suspicious toilets.
14:47I was given a tour of some of the highest rating loos.
14:50It's a great idea.
14:51Everyone wins.
14:52The customers know they're in a top-maintained dunny,
14:55and the cleaners can walk around with a feeling of pride.
14:58Can you tell Mr Tan that Kenny here thinks
15:00this is one of the best-kept toilets I've ever been to in my life?
15:03Congratulations.
15:04That's awesome.
15:05Thank you, thank you, thank you.
15:06My pleasure.
15:07See, see.
15:09Jack's dedication to the happy toilets
15:11has also helped create a program for primary school kids.
15:14Oh, hello. Look out. They're all here.
15:17You educate the kids.
15:18You also educate their parents.
15:21A wonderful welcome to our special guests.
15:23We are happy to present to you our climate of pride.
15:27I was gobsmacked by their knowledge
15:28and a little humbled, I've got to say it.
15:31I was also honoured,
15:32because they asked me to judge
15:33and hand out some happy toilet awards
15:35to the best-dressed dunnies.
15:36Ladies' toilet.
15:37This is Kenny, the ladies' toilet.
15:40Yep.
15:41Well, I think it's fantastic.
15:42Can I give them a full mask?
15:43Full mask.
15:44I think that's it.
15:45You can give them a full mask.
15:46Well done.
15:47Right.
15:48So clean and dry floor.
15:49That's the first thing.
15:50I think we give them 10 out of 10 for that.
15:51Yeah, no problem.
15:52Odour-free.
15:54Smells perfect.
15:55I think it's nice.
15:55Nine.
15:56Nine, alright.
15:57It still means the girls win by one point.
15:59Here boys, congratulations.
16:01But the winners today,
16:02congratulations girls,
16:04here's your happy toilet plaque there.
16:05Oh, look at that.
16:06Hey, that's a beauty.
16:07I'm a restroom ambassador.
16:10Oh, don't stab me,
16:11it'll be all sorts of blood and trouble.
16:13Mostly we play a game,
16:15two football games,
16:16rugby and a thing called AFL.
16:18You ever heard of that?
16:21When we return,
16:23I go back to school.
16:24Oh boy.
16:28We have a world toilet college as well.
16:31A what?
16:32A world toilet college.
16:34Maybe you can be a student in the class.
16:36A student?
16:36And you can be toilet trained.
16:39Mate, I'm not very good at school.
16:41I mean, I can go and do the course,
16:42but I'm going to warn you mate,
16:44I might come up a little bit dim, Sim.
16:46That sounded a bit weird.
16:48I might look a bit stupid.
16:49That's what I'm trying to say.
16:51Nice.
16:52I was a little nervous going back to school,
16:54to be honest.
16:55I wasn't always the sweetest cookie in the jar
16:58when it came to learning.
16:59Jasmine Lounge.
17:00Actually, I once remembered a school teacher
17:01telling me I was completely unburdened by intelligence.
17:04How you going?
17:05Sorry, I'm a little bit late here mate.
17:06Yeah, we are supposed to start the class at 9 o'clock,
17:09so try to be early next time.
17:11Yeah, sorry, no, I will.
17:14We don't accept this one.
17:16Yeah, okay, all right.
17:16No, by the way, you're not supposed to be in short.
17:19Not supposed to be in short.
17:21Oh yes, this feels like school, all right.
17:23Just as I remember it.
17:24I'm off to a good start.
17:25I've only been here one day,
17:26and I've already made a mistake.
17:28The World Toilet Collies opened in 2005,
17:31and when you consider that the graduates
17:32usually end up increasing their income by 100%
17:35after completing the course,
17:37means it's doing something bang on, I reckon.
17:39We are looking forward to the revision of wages,
17:41your salary.
17:42Yeah, the bug's money to me.
17:44Money, yeah, the money's worth it.
17:46Don't worry about that.
17:47It's a seven-day course with lectures on hygiene,
17:51there's theory and personal grooming in the mornings,
17:53and practical training and field work in the afternoons.
17:56It's the whole college box and dice.
17:58Luckily for me, I was able to skip a few lessons
18:00due to my fine standing in the toilet community.
18:03Well, at least that's what I told the teacher.
18:05So the cleaners do some of the repairs?
18:07Yes.
18:08As and when, when they come across it,
18:09they have to do their own repair.
18:10In Australia, it's only me fixing the toilets,
18:12everyone leaves them.
18:17The ring.
18:18Look at that.
18:19Because you can't put your head into the pool.
18:21No.
18:22You might be able to put one of these lovely ladies' heads in,
18:24but mine wouldn't fit.
18:25Yes.
18:26Whatever there is in the toilet, they have to do.
18:28Very exclusive.
18:29You make people work for their money, I've got to tell you.
18:31I really do.
18:32I hope you don't come and inspect one of my toilets
18:34because you clean your toilets better than we do in Australia.
18:38Yeah, I just want to have a little...
18:39Oh, they scared the pants off.
18:42The story I got told was that Singapore got its name
18:45from a prince who thought he saw a lion,
18:48and he wanted to call it like the lion town or lion city.
18:53Right.
18:53But I've been told that there's no lions in Singapore,
18:57so he probably saw a tiger.
19:00Yeah.
19:01Thanks, mate.
19:02Thank you very much.
19:04Okay, this is the test for today.
19:07Test?
19:08Oh, dear.
19:10Okay, you can start now.
19:11Now, not many things make me nervous,
19:13but school exams can almost bring me to tears.
19:15I reckon I could answer a multiple-choice question
19:18on what my name is and still take the wrong box.
19:20I guess you could say I'm a little flaky under pressure.
19:22No copying, please.
19:23Oh, no.
19:24She's so much further ahead, I thought she might have,
19:26I don't know, Mr Page or something.
19:28No, I wouldn't.
19:30Copy.
19:36You know, it suddenly dawned on me.
19:38If I fail this, will the network pull me out of the tour?
19:43I certainly hope not.
19:45Thank you very much.
19:45And Mr Kennedy.
19:46Yeah.
19:47Good one.
19:49Thanks, mate.
19:50Good on you.
19:50Thank you very much.
19:51It's the first thing I've ever passed in me life.
19:53You did it.
19:54Oh, mate.
19:55You did it.
20:04I'm going to read to you one of my poems and title,
20:08Shit.
20:09Rise on top, paddy field in the centre.
20:13Together, shit, you gather.
20:15This is Lin Sing Sing, an experimental artist,
20:18mass wizard and self-proclaimed poo poet.
20:20So when I'm inspired by something, it just flows.
20:24Sometimes you cannot stop.
20:25Here we are at the museum.
20:26Lin Sing Sing has made a virtual toilet museum on computer
20:30and the whole thing is very avant-garde,
20:32which people tell me is the reason I struggle to understand this.
20:35Maybe you want to go to the toilet.
20:36So here we are in the toilet.
20:39While you shit, you can think at the same time.
20:41I can honestly say I've never thought about toilet
20:43the way Lin Sing Sing has.
20:45It's called concerto for shit.
20:48When we met her, she'd just returned from helping design
20:50an onboard flight computer system for a jet airliner.
20:54I mean, I'd love to be able to tell people
20:55that I'm a computer wizard when I'm not pumping dunnies,
20:58but somehow I don't think anyone's going to buy it.
21:00Like shit.
21:01What the shit?
21:02Don't give a shit.
21:03Get the shit out of it.
21:04And this is the BS.
21:07Bachelor of Shit.
21:08So you take a shit exam.
21:10She's as colourful as a sack full of sequins,
21:13and I reckon the world would be a damn sight more boring
21:15without people like her.
21:17Thank you for all the shit.
21:24Here we are, a boat team.
21:25Let's be honest.
21:26It's a toilet tour of the world,
21:27but if you're not stoking the fire,
21:29the toilets are kind of redundant.
21:30So, and this is the right place to get a feed,
21:32but try and walk along here without getting a race.
21:35Let me tell you.
21:36Oh, look at it.
21:37They're coming double.
21:37No, I'm good, thanks.
21:38Oh, I know I'm right, thanks.
21:40Oh, I know we're just going for a walk, actually.
21:41Look at me.
21:42I've got enough food in me to last me a lifetime.
21:45Hello.
21:45Good evening, sir.
21:46Hey, mate.
21:47How you going?
21:47Good time.
21:48Very nice.
21:49Good food.
21:49Alright, you win.
21:50I've got to go in somewhere.
21:51Alright, you've won.
21:52Well done, mate.
21:53Okay.
21:53You might need more menus.
21:55My cameraman needs a ton of food.
21:57Okay, no problem.
22:00Well, folks, that's it for now.
22:02Join us next time when we go to Thailand and the USA
22:05to lift the lid on all things pupula.
22:08Really clean.
22:09I tell you what, when you take the tuk-tuk,
22:11I think you take-take your life-life in your own hands hands.
22:15So take care, be good to yourselves,
22:17and hey, give a stranger a smile, eh?
22:19Good on you.
22:22I think Kenny is also a beauty with her voice, right?
22:25Yeah.
22:26When he goes around talking a lot.
22:28I think in Australia they say, I'm a beauty,
22:30but they go, hell, he's a big bloke.
22:32He's a beauty.
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