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Transcrição
00:00Transcrição e Legendas Pedro Negri
00:30Yes, hello, welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:38My name is Tom Gleeson and as far as you are concerned,
00:41for the duration of this show, I am the Taskmaster.
00:46This is the show where I take five beloved comedy personalities
00:50and make them dance for me like they've never danced before.
00:53The prize at the end of the season?
00:55Why, it's as good as it gets.
00:57It's this shiny replica of my head,
01:01forged by melting down every single gold logie except mine.
01:06Vying for this most elusive of prizes are our brave contestants.
01:10Please clap as I say their names.
01:12Daniel Walker.
01:14Jimmy Rees.
01:16Julian Morris.
01:18Luke McGregor.
01:20And Nina Riyama.
01:21And by my side, as always, is a man who does need an introduction.
01:28Easily one of the top two Toms in my inner circle.
01:31It's my honest assistant, Tom Cashman.
01:34G'day, mate.
01:37Let's start with the prize pass, eh?
01:39I think that's a good idea.
01:41Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in
01:42what they consider to be the most pretentious thing.
01:46The person who brings the thing that the main Tom finds most pretentious
01:50will take home five points,
01:51and the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five pretentious items.
01:55OK.
01:56It shouldn't be too tricky for this highbrow group of coastal elites.
01:59Let's start with Nina Riyama.
02:03What have you brought in?
02:04I brought in a gay toilet door.
02:08So this actually does have a story,
02:10which is my former housemate Ian is a subversive queer artist,
02:13and this is part of one of his installations.
02:15It's actually one of the original toilet doors
02:17from one of the first gay nightclubs in King's Cross.
02:20So it's part of queer Australian history.
02:22Actually, round of applause for this great door.
02:25That explanation was very pretentious,
02:28and even the wanting a round of applause at the end
02:30for your own validation.
02:32Extremely on the nose, that was.
02:35Luke, what have you got?
02:36I also brought in a gay door.
02:38No.
02:39I spent four grand
02:44to get someone in England
02:48to build a replica proton pack
02:51from the first Ghostbusters movie.
02:52But because I know the person gets the prizes at the end,
03:01I didn't bring it,
03:03I just brought a backpack that looks like it.
03:06Why is this pretentious?
03:07I don't quite understand why.
03:09To be fair, I didn't look up the definition of pretentious.
03:12I just wanted to claim the backpack on tax, so...
03:15Being sensible with your finances,
03:18I don't think that's pretentious.
03:19That's meat and two veg,
03:21that's an everyday Australian thing to do.
03:23And the proton pack's gay, so...
03:25Oh.
03:26OK.
03:27All right.
03:28Uh, Julia?
03:30I brought in my HSC results.
03:32LAUGHTER
03:33So, obviously, if you're pretentious,
03:37I'm guessing you're showing off that you did really well.
03:39Actually, I got 198 out of 500.
03:42Oh.
03:43But how the pretension comes in, Tom,
03:46is that I use that within my complex personality type
03:50of inverted snob
03:51and brag about how low I did in the HSC.
03:54Because I feel like I did heaps better
03:56than everyone else in life.
03:58LAUGHTER
03:59APPLAUSE
04:00Due to your really poor score in the HSC,
04:03I feel like maybe knowing the meanings of words
04:06isn't your specialty.
04:07LAUGHTER
04:08Because I think you've just described bragging.
04:11I can't get past how poorly you did.
04:14LAUGHTER
04:14Do you know what?
04:16I got really confused
04:17and booked my schoolies week before the exams.
04:19LAUGHTER
04:20APPLAUSE
04:21Yeah, and see, now you're down with the people again.
04:26I'm down with my back down.
04:27You're supposed to be above everyone.
04:29It's my original location.
04:30I'm always going to return there.
04:32All right.
04:32Jimmy?
04:34Well, I've brought in my collection of vinyl records.
04:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:39But this is sounding good.
04:41I do not own a record player.
04:45LAUGHTER
04:45APPLAUSE
04:46Look how cool they look.
04:52On my shelf, they look stunning.
04:54It's making me kind of hate you, so...
04:56LAUGHTER
04:57So, good job.
04:58Thanks!
04:58Danielle, what do you have for us?
05:01I've brought in a prayer candle of myself.
05:04Oh.
05:06APPLAUSE
05:07So, you got that made, obviously.
05:11Uh, no, I would never trust anybody
05:13to make any art over myself.
05:15Oh, hang on.
05:16Is this you and the craft again?
05:17Listen, when you've got a sticker printer at home,
05:19you take advantage of it.
05:21LAUGHTER
05:21All right, well, the Ghostbusters proton pack
05:24is not pretentious.
05:25Ghostbusters is a very popular mainstream film.
05:28Spending a lot of money on it isn't pretentious.
05:30It's stupid.
05:30LAUGHTER
05:31So...
05:32Uh, the HSC certificate, again,
05:35it means you're down with the people
05:36because you didn't do well.
05:37And you're being...
05:37Ultimately, you're being self-deprecating,
05:39which is the opposite of pretentious.
05:40Two points to Julia.
05:41Danielle, the prayer candle.
05:43Again, I don't actually think it's that pretentious.
05:45Three points to you.
05:46Uh, your doorpiece.
05:47It's ultimately just a toilet door,
05:49but you talked about it with such passion and detail.
05:51that it was really getting on my tits.
05:53So, four points to you.
05:56But the most pretentious records
05:57just because they look good
05:58and you don't even listen to them,
06:00Jimmy with five!
06:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:02Shall we get into our first proper task of the night?
06:08OK.
06:09Like everyone up here on stage right now,
06:11this one is a snack.
06:21Tom!
06:27Tom?
06:28No Tom?
06:28No Tom?
06:30No Tom.
06:30OK.
06:31Oh, God.
06:31It's freshly popped.
06:33Protect the popcorn with an impenetrable fort.
06:37In ten minutes, Tom will try to eat the popcorn.
06:40You may not move the popcorn.
06:41You may not personally attack Tom.
06:42The longest uneaten popcorn wins.
06:43Tom!
06:44You know how I love not reading the last line?
06:47Your time starts now!
06:48So, our contestants need to stop me from eating the popcorn
06:50without physically attacking me.
06:51Oh, right.
06:52A key detail.
06:53Here are our first two Colonel Withholders.
06:54It's Danielle and Jimmy.
06:55So, can I just...
06:56Cos he can't eat it if it's in the toilet.
06:57Can I just put it in the toilet?
06:58Can I just put it in the toilet?
06:59Can I just put it in the toilet?
07:00No, no, no.
07:01No, no, no.
07:02No, no, no, no.
07:03No, no, no, no.
07:04No, no, no, no.
07:05No, no, no, no.
07:06No, no, no, no.
07:07No, no, no, no, no.
07:08No, no, no, no, no.
07:09No, no, no, no, no.
07:10Here are our first two Colonel Withholders.
07:12It's Danielle and Jimmy.
07:13So, can I just...
07:14Cos he can't eat it if it's in the toilet.
07:16Can I just put it in the toilet?
07:17Oh, I've already moved the popcorn.
07:20Oh, no, you may not move the fort.
07:23No!
07:24OK, impenetrable fort.
07:26Let's just put random things on the table.
07:28So they can go...
07:29Impenetrable fort.
07:39OK, there's one.
07:40It'll do.
07:44How many minutes until Tom comes?
07:46I'm just going to get anything...
07:49Just stuff is going to be in the way.
07:55What are you doing?
07:56I'm going to capture you.
07:58I'll be trying to get into the popcorn.
07:59It's got to...
08:00Stuff!
08:02Get out of the way!
08:03How...
08:04He showed me how long everybody else
08:06kept you all away from before.
08:07Gosh darn it.
08:08Just...
08:10Don't fall over!
08:12Just...
08:13Oh, I'm a...
08:15They are slippery!
08:16And...
08:17Whoop!
08:17No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:20OK.
08:21Oh, no.
08:22OK.
08:23Oh, no.
08:24OK.
08:25I'll...
08:26I don't want to hurt you.
08:27Ok, ele está aqui.
08:31Eu tenho que ir para um pop-coron.
08:32Eu não vou para atacar você.
08:33Não!
08:34Não!
08:36Come on!
08:42É isso, Tars, não é só você comer pop-coron com um pouco mais?
08:48Potentemente.
08:49Eu estou preocupada com isso.
08:50Jimmy, o que você acha que colocou um pouco mais um pouco mais de um pop-coron
08:54pode fazer alguma diferença?
08:55O que você fez isso?
08:56Bem, eu fui fora de bookshelves, para ser honesto.
08:58Eu pensava que tinha uma lá, tinha uma lá lá,
09:00mas eu fui fora muito rápido.
09:02Em hindsight, o que eu deveria ter feito
09:03é que eu deveria ter que iria para ir para
09:06e colocar a bookshelves lá.
09:07Tem mais de uma porta, não é?
09:09Sim.
09:10Se você ainda tinha mais de bookshelves
09:11para ver cada porta?
09:12E o windows?
09:13O skylight também, eu acho.
09:15Oh, sim.
09:16Você deveria ter colocado o skylight.
09:19Não é assim.
09:20Não é assim.
09:23Daniel?
09:24Hum?
09:25Eu acho que
09:26você não era capaz de atacar
09:28Lesser Tom,
09:29mas eu acho que você fez.
09:31Ela me pinou para a chair.
09:32Sim.
09:33Eu não atacava ele.
09:35Ok.
09:36Se você vai ter colocado um animal
09:37para sua própria saúde...
09:43Se eu tinha uma trancada,
09:44BOOM!
09:46Você teria atacado ele com a trancada?
09:48Não.
09:49Eu teria, por sua própria saúde,
09:50eu teria, por sua própria saúde,
09:51ele tinha me dado.
09:52Ela me deu para...
09:532 minutos e 38 segundos.
09:54Um...
09:55Um...
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11:15That's not popcorn, that's a piece of nutricane.
11:22Thanks Nina.
11:24What?
11:31Lesser Tom, can you just read the task again?
11:34Just so we can take it in one more time.
11:37Protect the popcorn with an impenetrable fort.
11:39In 10 minutes Tom will try to eat the popcorn.
11:41You may not move the popcorn.
11:43What? So hang on.
11:45What was that tiny detail that you could easily miss?
11:49You may not move the popcorn.
11:50Okay.
11:51And you may not personally attack Tom.
11:53Okay.
11:54What the f*** am I going to do with you, Nina?
11:56When the task gets read out to you and you read the task,
11:59what's actually going on inside your head?
12:02Anything at all?
12:05There's actually a lot of stuff, guys.
12:07Mostly me being like...
12:08So even if we accepted all of that,
12:13how long did Nina take?
12:15She still took longer than Jimmy.
12:1714 seconds.
12:19Who's left?
12:20I was fond of both of them before we filmed this.
12:22It's Julia and Luke.
12:23Here you go, Tom.
12:33You want to eat the popcorn?
12:35Munga, munga, babes.
12:36That is pretty revolting.
12:44Oh, these are beautiful eggs.
12:45Some days I'm just so pleased with myself.
12:54Tom!
12:55Morning tea!
12:56Oh, I'm not going to scratch my bum and then put my finger in there, am I?
13:05That's too far.
13:06I can feel it's too far.
13:07Hey, buddy.
13:16Hello, Luke.
13:17How are you?
13:18I don't know if you like some popcorn.
13:19Oh, but wait.
13:20Before you do, actually, sorry.
13:21Let me get up for a second.
13:23And a little bit in the top.
13:25So now I feel like there's a fecal count in there.
13:27Hi, Tom!
13:29Hi, Julia.
13:31Before you eat the popcorn, before you eat the popcorn.
13:32Is my butt wet?
13:34Mm-hmm.
13:35That's right.
13:36Could it be because I went into the toilet, filled that bottle up with toilet water, and
13:41then poured it on that popcorn?
13:43So, to help yourself if you want one, but that's toilet water on the popcorn.
13:48Mm.
13:49I like some popcorn.
13:50You know what, Tom?
13:51I just touched my bum and then I stirred it.
13:55All right.
13:55And I think legally, I have to tell you, I've spat in there.
13:58Okay.
13:59There is...
13:59A few eggs in there.
14:00There is literally not a whisper of popcorn you can get to.
14:03It's an impenetrable fort, sir.
14:05But you are welcome to a little snacky if you feel like it.
14:08But it just depends on how long you want to be on the toilet today.
14:11I think I'm...
14:12I'm good.
14:12You're okay?
14:13It could be poisonous, too.
14:15You get a lot of diseases from toilets.
14:16It really smells like...
14:18Like urine and feces.
14:19Can I get your biscuit or something?
14:21That'd be great, thank you.
14:22Do you want me to get your biscuit?
14:22Yeah, thanks.
14:23But I've got poo-poo hands.
14:24Okay, don't worry about it, then.
14:25So, Luke, you seem pretty proud of yourself for someone who just put their hand in a toilet.
14:34Well, it wasn't actually toilet water.
14:36It was sink water.
14:37But I told Tom it was toilet water.
14:38And then once he said I did the task, I revealed that it wasn't toilet water.
14:42Okay.
14:43But I also had my bum on it for quite a while.
14:45And do you just sort of naturally have a bit of a stress sweat coming from that area anyway?
14:51No, no, I have a very diligent hygiene routine, but, um...
14:55Yeah, but I'm saying when you get stressed out, you can't control your perspiration
14:58and you might just get a bit damp on the back part of your trousers.
15:03Can we edit this bit out, or...?
15:09Now, I feel like I understand, Luke, you being disgusting,
15:11but, Julie, I feel like this was a bit beneath your standards.
15:13Here's the thing, uh, nothing is beneath my standards.
15:17Was he even remotely tempted to find a little bit he could eat?
15:21No.
15:21It was just, it was revolting.
15:22I didn't, I didn't touch the actual...
15:25I know, but it wouldn't have been a faecal count as such.
15:29But you did spit in it, though.
15:31I did spit.
15:32Tom, you didn't eat any of the popcorn from either of Julia or Luke.
15:35No.
15:35No.
15:36So, that means that Julia and Luke don't have a tie.
15:39You could argue, therefore, they tie.
15:41Danielle's an easy disqualification.
15:43What the...?
15:44Well, you attacked him and you moved the popcorn.
15:46Nina, I mean, shit, mate.
15:50You're gone.
15:52That's fair.
15:53So, you're both out, and that leaves Jimmy in second place
15:57behind the two ties.
15:58I feel the point!
16:01I feel the point!
16:02But it was a really hopeless attempt.
16:04So, I think it's five for Luke and Julia and two for Jimmy.
16:06That means that tied in the lead, it's Jimmy and Julia with seven points!
16:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:14All right, what do you reckon, Lisa Tom?
16:18Do you have any more of those tasks lying around?
16:20I do.
16:21Open Sesame!
16:22Hello?
16:34OK.
16:35Hi, babes!
16:37Hi, Julia.
16:38Hi, Jimmy.
16:39Hang on.
16:40Hi, Danielle.
16:41Hi, Danielle.
16:41Oh.
16:42Oh!
16:45Oh!
16:46Hello, mate.
16:47Hi, Tom.
16:48That's my emotional state.
16:53Is this some sort of way to set up some romance between us?
16:57No.
16:58Read the task.
16:59Pick up all 26 flowers and deliver them to Tom's vase.
17:05Vase.
17:06Vase.
17:07Vase.
17:07You may only advance to collect the next flower
17:10when you correctly guess that flower's password.
17:15You must deliver all 26 flowers to Tom's vase
17:18or you will be disqualified.
17:20Fewest total attempts to guess a password wins.
17:23Fewest total...
17:24OK.
17:25So when does my time start?
17:27There's no time aspect of this task.
17:29That's very dangerous.
17:32OK.
17:34Quite a convoluted way to get roses into a vase.
17:37Oh, not really.
17:38They just have to guess 26 acceptable passwords.
17:41Fewest guesses wins.
17:42Simple.
17:43All right.
17:43Hit me.
17:44I wouldn't dare.
17:46It's Nina and Julia.
17:48Number one.
17:49Is the password password?
17:51I will accept that password.
17:52Yes.
17:52Please proceed to the next flower.
17:54Sunshine.
17:55Happy.
17:56Nina is a cool dude.
17:58Roses in my pockets.
17:59I don't know why this is going so well.
18:01Bouquet.
18:02Vase.
18:04Pen.
18:05No.
18:05Oh.
18:07Don't turn your back on the network, Tom.
18:09Existential crisis.
18:10Echo.
18:11Bouquet.
18:12I will accept that password.
18:14Are there rules?
18:15Wait.
18:16Is the password...
18:17Are there rules?
18:17No.
18:19No.
18:20Christmas.
18:21Santa.
18:22Jesus.
18:23I will accept that password.
18:24Have you accepted Jesus, Tom?
18:27Why wouldn't you?
18:28How did I even get here?
18:30Look how far you've come.
18:31Oh, my God.
18:32Oh, my God.
18:33There's 26 letters in the alphabet.
18:34Oh, my God.
18:35It's alphabetical order.
18:36OK.
18:36Password.
18:37Vegan.
18:37No.
18:41But.
18:44But.
18:45Run.
18:46Skip.
18:47Tie.
18:47Whistle.
18:49Me dead, Tom.
18:51That was not an instruction.
18:52It was just a sense of frustration.
18:55Why would you have 26 if it wasn't all letters of the alphabet?
18:58Cola.
18:59Wattle.
19:00Gown.
19:00Mini.
19:01Zipper.
19:02I will accept that password.
19:03I just got it.
19:05What about xylophone?
19:06None.
19:07Oh, that's...
19:08Does that theory out the window?
19:10Spiky.
19:11Sandy.
19:11Boom.
19:13Boom.
19:14I will accept that password.
19:15What?
19:16But first, a victory lap.
19:18As is tradition.
19:20Succulent.
19:21Skin.
19:22Hang.
19:22Strength.
19:23I think it is alphabet related.
19:25But the problem is I can't remember which letters have been said or not.
19:30I don't think we've had two.
19:33So I'm going to say is next password.
19:34Question.
19:36I will accept that password.
19:37Victory lap.
19:38Whip, whip, whip, lap, whip.
19:40Alphabet.
19:41Dog.
19:42Efforts.
19:42Far out, girl.
19:44I'm not just going to go through the alphabet.
19:45That's an abhorus both.
19:48Next password is xyz.
19:50I will accept that password.
19:52Quirky.
19:53I will accept that password.
19:55Please proceed to the final bars.
19:57Ah.
19:59Ah.
20:00There you go, baby boy.
20:02Thanks, Nina.
20:02Bye.
20:03Ah.
20:07In case it wasn't painfully obvious,
20:10we needed 26 different acceptable passwords,
20:12starting with a different letter of the alphabet.
20:14Once you'd used a word that started with one letter of the alphabet,
20:17you couldn't say another password that started with that same letter,
20:20and the order didn't matter.
20:22Right.
20:22So, Julia, Nina, at the beginning,
20:24you both thought you were doing really well.
20:27I was so furious by the end.
20:29Did you end up working out what was going on?
20:32You did, Nina.
20:32Did you, Julia, by the end?
20:33When I first saw 26, I'm like, well, that's alphabet.
20:36When I realised they weren't in order,
20:37it did not even vaguely occur to me that it was still alphabet,
20:40just not in that order.
20:41So I'd already thrown that theory out.
20:43They'd rhyme nor reason by that point.
20:45OK.
20:46The time it takes, though, doesn't matter.
20:47It's irrelevant.
20:48It's how many guesses?
20:49It's number of guesses.
20:50Nina made 159 guesses.
20:53Julia, you guessed the C word four different times.
21:01Yeah.
21:02Julia made 342 guesses.
21:08Interestingly enough,
21:10after deciding it would be too boring to go through the alphabet,
21:13Julia made 87 more guesses.
21:18Let's keep the guessing coming.
21:20Who's up?
21:20Their passwords are strong and their muscles are medium.
21:22It's Jimmy and Luke.
21:26Hey, Tom, what's the password?
21:29Is that a guess?
21:30Yeah.
21:30I will accept that password.
21:32Yes!
21:33Is the password Rose?
21:36Terminator 2.
21:37Blink-182.
21:38Dolphin?
21:39Politics.
21:40The Matrix Reloaded?
21:42No.
21:43The Matrix Resurrection?
21:44No.
21:45OK, the first Matrix, the original Matrix.
21:47No.
21:47OK, the Matrix, the video game, The Path of Neo.
21:50No.
21:51Frogs.
21:52I will accept that password.
21:54OK, OK.
21:54Is this the Matrix?
21:56Roses are red, violets are blue.
21:58How old are you?
21:59Flower.
22:00Now there's a pattern and I can't remember what I've done.
22:03Xbox Series X.
22:04God of War 3.
22:06Elephant.
22:07Is it the Matrix?
22:08Is it the Matrix?
22:09My name is Jimmy.
22:11This flower is red.
22:12Toys.
22:13Well, what I was doing was just rambling on about the things that I've thought I've done and
22:17then I've gotten here and I'm stuck because I don't realise what the pattern is still.
22:20but it's probably glaringly obvious for everyone who's playing along at home.
22:24Sunburn.
22:25Sunscreen.
22:26Bananas.
22:28The Matrix.
22:29Taskmasters are stupid.
22:31Can I please just figure it out in my brain?
22:34What's the password, Tom?
22:36Do you even want these flowers?
22:40Picture the password in your mind.
22:42OK.
22:43Is that the password?
22:44Tell me I'm wrong.
22:45You have to, I've got you trapped.
22:47I mean, yeah, but...
22:48Yes!
22:48Move it up!
22:49Here we go.
22:50What's it?
22:50OK, 25.
22:51Here we go.
22:52Get comfortable, Tom.
22:53That is my guess.
22:54I will accept that password.
22:56God damn it!
22:57Please proceed to the next flower.
22:59Is the password my mum?
23:01No.
23:02Did my mum have anything to do with coming up with a password?
23:04Not that I know of.
23:05Don't you lie to me.
23:06This is exactly the sort of thing mum would do.
23:08Starts with C.
23:09No.
23:09Word beginning with D.
23:11No.
23:11A word begin...
23:13With E.
23:13I will accept that password.
23:17Is the password who...
23:19No.
23:21Who's...
23:24No.
23:24Whoop.
23:27No.
23:29Q-R-S-T-U-D...
23:32No.
23:32No.
23:33No.
23:33W-X.
23:35I will accept that password.
23:37If we do rock, paper, scissors and I win, will you give me the password?
23:40OK.
23:40One, two, three.
23:44What's the password, please?
23:46An example of a correct password is the word zebra.
23:49Password is zebra.
23:50Zebras are cool.
23:52I will accept that password.
23:53Please proceed to the vase.
23:57Well, that took a while, didn't it?
23:58See you, buddy.
24:00See you, Luke.
24:02Luke, if people wanted to hack into your social media, I reckon if they just tried out various
24:06variations on the Matrix movies, they might get straight in there.
24:09If they added 69, they'd be straight through.
24:11How many did he do?
24:14Luke made 289 guesses, 17 of which related to the Matrix franchise.
24:20OK.
24:22I must say, after seeing you, Jimmy, on children's TV, looking so positive and happy, it was quite
24:29satisfying to watch you lose your shit.
24:32Yeah, by the end, I was very frustrated because I had actually figured it out and then thought
24:37I was the biggest dumbass for 75,000 guesses.
24:40Yeah, I had to lie down for a bit.
24:43Well, I think there's a certain irony there because you worked for children's TV for so
24:46long and you started to behave like the people who watched you.
24:49You turned into a toddler to the point where you had a tantrum and lied down.
24:56Was it hard for you, Tom, watching us all just completely f*** up?
24:59It was my favourite task.
25:04So how many guesses did Jimmy make?
25:06Jimmy made 323 guesses, which means Nina is still winning and Julia is still doing the
25:13opposite, losing.
25:15I should bring up, really, what the task was about, was delivering 26 roses into the vase.
25:20Right.
25:20I think they all did that, didn't they?
25:22I think you might want to see something.
25:24Oh, gosh.
25:25OK, The Legend of Korra, which is the one after Avatar.
25:29Iron Man.
25:33Iron Man.
25:40See you, buddy.
25:42No littering.
25:45So is it fair to say that Luke put 24 roses in a vase?
25:50In my defence, I have hay fever.
25:56They were plastic roses.
25:59Anyone remaining?
26:01She loves letters from the alphabet.
26:03She even has like six different ones in her name.
26:05Here's Danielle.
26:07Put the password.
26:09The password?
26:11I will accept that password.
26:13Open sesame.
26:14Come on in.
26:15Bong.
26:16Tom.
26:17Gleeson.
26:17Is.
26:18A.
26:18Mongoose.
26:19Toyfish.
26:20Fungus.
26:21Willipad.
26:21Ulysses.
26:22Butterfly.
26:23Roses.
26:24Dad.
26:25Wrench.
26:25E.P.S.
26:27Q.
26:28Quoll.
26:29Nickel.
26:29Yabby.
26:30Jupiter.
26:30Human.
26:31Budgerigar.
26:32No.
26:33Oh.
26:34I can't tell if there's any connection between all of the things.
26:43Guava.
26:44Pecan.
26:44France.
26:45No.
26:45Oh, what the hell?
26:47Tear.
26:48Trawler.
26:49Prawn.
26:50Boat.
26:51Reef.
26:51Parrotfish.
26:53Shrimp.
26:53Krill.
26:54Bow bum.
26:55Burrow.
26:56Thailand.
26:57Northern hairy nose.
26:58Wombat.
26:58A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J.
27:00H, I, J.
27:02Mm.
27:06Hi, now.
27:08Um.
27:09Rooster is a guess.
27:10Nope.
27:11Steam.
27:11No.
27:12That's so raven.
27:13No.
27:13Heath urban.
27:14Nah.
27:14Kangaroo.
27:15Mm-mm.
27:15Rikki-dikki-tavi.
27:16No.
27:16Subaru.
27:17No.
27:18Chrysalis.
27:19No.
27:19Oh, my God.
27:22Taika Waititi.
27:23I don't even know if I can see his name, but damn it.
27:27Mars.
27:29Uranus.
27:31Venus.
27:32I'll accept that password.
27:33Venus.
27:35H, I, J.
27:36Nothing.
27:37Weird order.
27:38The order doesn't matter.
27:39The order doesn't matter.
27:40What is this?
27:43Crayfish.
27:44Fishing rod.
27:44Sargopath.
27:45Kaka.
27:45Mochaccino.
27:47Huh.
27:48I'll just read you what I've got here.
27:50Yep.
27:50So these are the correct guesses so far.
27:53Ah.
27:53Bongalongalong.
27:54Comealong.
27:55Dad.
27:55EPSQ.
27:56Fungus.
27:57Gleeson.
27:58Human.
27:58Is.
27:59Jupiter.
27:59Koi fish.
28:00Koi fish.
28:00Lily pad.
28:01Mongoose.
28:01Nickel.
28:02Open sesame.
28:03Password.
28:03Quol.
28:04Roses.
28:05Sugar cane.
28:05Tom.
28:06Ulysses.
28:06Venus.
28:07Wrench.
28:08And yabby.
28:09But I've said other things that are alive.
28:13Oh, my God.
28:14God.
28:14Is this going to be so obvious and I'm going to frickin' kick myself?
28:19Two more out of 26 to go.
28:21I don't understand this game.
28:24Two more out of 26 to go.
28:26Mario, this is about to help me.
28:28I have no idea.
28:30Oh, did I get here?
28:34Um, taco.
28:36What about army worm?
28:39Two more out of 26 to go.
28:42Two more out of 26 to go.
28:46Oh, no.
28:47I think I've just...
28:49Oh, no.
28:5126 letters in the alphabet.
28:52F***ing Jesus Christ.
28:55Oh, my God.
28:56I don't know what one's ever gotten to xylophone.
29:09I will accept that password.
29:12Nebra.
29:14I will accept that password.
29:16What the hell?
29:18What the freaking hell, dude?
29:20Oh.
29:22I don't know if they're two alphabets.
29:24It makes a deck of cards.
29:2526 to go, 26 to go, 50 to go, 50 to go.
29:2750 to go.
29:2850 to go, 50 to go, 50 to go.
29:29Oh, my God.
29:30Oh, my God.
29:31Oh, I'm going to go.
29:33I'm going to do that.
29:37God.
29:40Thanks, Danielle.
29:41Oh, boy.
29:43I'm crying again.
29:58I know.
30:01You are.
30:05Even though it's not, are you OK, Day, I feel like I have to ask you, are you OK?
30:09No, that genuinely broke my brain.
30:14I couldn't work it out.
30:17And I just kept on being like, I said koi fish.
30:24Mongoose.
30:25That was the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my whole life.
30:28I think one of my favourite moments was when Tom Cashman listed all your answers in alphabetical
30:35order.
30:36And then what did you say?
30:38You said, yeah, not all of them are alive.
30:40I don't know what my theories were, but I had lots of different theories.
30:44Well, that clip took longer to edit than all the Matrix films.
30:48It was a really big job.
30:50And after all that, you dropped a rose.
30:53I did?
30:54No, you didn't.
30:55Oh, thank God.
30:56I double-checked.
30:58I don't.
30:58No, you didn't.
30:59I just wanted to see the look on your face.
31:02Do you want to know how long you took?
31:02I hate to ask, yes, but how many guesses was it?
31:06503.
31:09I was thinking when I heard Julius, I was like, maybe I won't come last.
31:14I think Luke McGregor's an easy disqualify.
31:16You only put 24 roses in the vase.
31:18That was pretty clear.
31:19You've got to put 26 in there.
31:20Can you score the rest of them?
31:21So we've got Luke with zero, Danielle with two somehow, Julia with three, Jimmy with four,
31:26and the winner of the task is Nina with five points.
31:32It's time for another task.
31:33Tom Cashman.
31:34What do you got?
31:35It's a team task filmed at our Taskmaster retreat.
31:38What was it?
31:38The Plains of the Serengeti?
31:49Woo!
31:51Woo!
31:54Yay!
31:55Hi Tom, we made it.
31:56Woo!
31:56Woo!
31:57Okay.
31:58I see, I see.
32:00This is a bubble bath.
32:01There's actually bubbles in here.
32:02Here it is.
32:03Oh, give it a go?
32:05Yeah.
32:07Ok, get the giraffe in the bath.
32:10If you touch grass, or the giraffe touches grass,
32:14or you touch the giraffe, you must start again.
32:18Faster swings, your time starts now.
32:20I've got so many questions.
32:21What do you think?
32:21Like, where's the giraffe?
32:22It's over there.
32:23Oh, is it, babe?
32:24Yeah.
32:25So should we do that?
32:27Love it.
32:28Could we attach these to our feet and use them as shoes
32:30instead of doing that?
32:31That's a way better idea.
32:32And then we take this, like that, and it might...
32:35Take it with us and I'll bring this one with us, will I?
32:37Beautiful, yeah.
32:39I'll see you over there.
32:39Oh, my gosh, you're faster than a rat up a drainpipe, doll.
32:44Right.
32:46The bad improv group is back.
32:49Great to see you.
32:49Yes, and that's really mean.
32:53Well, you just look like three friends with an unbreakable bond,
32:56and then the other two look like two people
32:58that clearly met that day.
32:59So all they have to do is get the giraffe in the bath
33:04without touching the giraffe or touching grass,
33:06and the giraffe is not allowed to touch grass.
33:08If any of those three things happen,
33:10they have to go back to the beginning.
33:12Would you like to see the first team try?
33:13Yep.
33:14Who's first?
33:14It's Danielle and Julia.
33:16Oh, tell you what.
33:22Shake him, baby.
33:23You won't break him.
33:24So we can't touch the giraffe,
33:26and the giraffe can't touch grass?
33:28Yes, well, he shouldn't.
33:30He doesn't have the mental capacity.
33:31Now I feel like I want to put him in this.
33:35This?
33:36Because we're not allowed to touch him, are we?
33:37We can't touch him, no.
33:39So then...
33:40Oh, wait, wait, wait.
33:41What are you thinking?
33:42We don't have to use these things.
33:43Babes, tell me.
33:44So we can go get a sheet from inside.
33:46Oh, my God, let's get a sheet!
33:47It's actually just a really good life lesson,
33:49don't touch grass.
33:50Oh, yeah.
33:51Here we go.
33:53Tell you what,
33:54I was pretty sure this is where my career was headed.
33:57Oh, yeah.
33:57Yeah.
33:58This is...
33:58It's not going to get any better than this, mate.
34:00No.
34:01So we need to take the sheet off
34:02or just get him in there?
34:03I think we'll just put him in.
34:04All right, bubs.
34:05Have a lovely bath, babe.
34:06Beep.
34:07Da, da.
34:08Ba, ba.
34:09De-de-de-doo.
34:12La, la.
34:13Ooh, ooh.
34:14Ah, ah, ah.
34:16Woo!
34:17Ooh.
34:18I love you.
34:20Just like that, Tom?
34:21Just like that.
34:22Yeah.
34:25Great to see the dance again
34:27and still no points.
34:29If you have just tuned in a couple of weeks ago,
34:32we split them into two different teams
34:33and one team we told had to do a bonus task of a dance,
34:38every team task,
34:39and the other team doesn't.
34:40So every time we do a team task,
34:44Julia and Danielle do a dance that doesn't matter.
34:50Now, Julia, do you agree that you thrive most
34:54when you're paired with someone competent?
34:57Yeah.
34:58I had a very strong idea that Danielle had a lot of better ideas
35:01than me, so that just seemed like the...
35:03She hadn't seen me do the other tasks.
35:07I feel like you're a match made in heaven, actually.
35:09Yeah, we are.
35:09Yeah, we are a dream team.
35:10Because, Danielle, you're very concerned
35:12with getting the task right
35:13to the point where sometimes you forget to be entertaining.
35:16Because you're so focused, you don't say anything.
35:19Oh, yeah.
35:19And then Julia is so busy entertaining,
35:21she forgets to do the task.
35:22Yeah, it's true.
35:23It's true.
35:24I thought maybe she'd been given a task
35:26to sabotage sometimes.
35:29I said, no, that is just my...
35:31That's just my nature.
35:32How'd they go?
35:33Danielle and Julia took eight minutes and one second.
35:35Ooh!
35:38OK.
35:39Shall we watch the other team, then?
35:40It's Jimmy, Luke and Nina.
35:42LAUGHTER
35:43OK, I have another idea.
35:45OK, another one.
35:46Put the giraffe on this, tie this to the bike
35:49and somebody rides the bike and drags this across.
35:53That's a fantastic idea.
35:54So we're going to get there.
35:55OK.
35:55But then you've got to not touch the floor of the booth.
35:57We've got shoes, then we're fine.
35:58We've got shoes.
35:58OK.
35:59I'll soon be able to go wherever I want.
36:01Look at these idiots.
36:02They've just spent three minutes building shoes.
36:05OK, off you go, mate.
36:06See you later.
36:07See you soon.
36:07Thank you, buddy.
36:10OK, you ready to pick it up from each side?
36:12Guys, I've got some shoes as well.
36:14I'm just going to come and help.
36:15Yeah.
36:15Yeah, baby.
36:16So I can't come back.
36:18That's all right.
36:19We don't need you.
36:19I can.
36:20Yeah, but you can.
36:21Do you have pants on?
36:21I'm going to tie this.
36:23OK, sorry.
36:24No, I took my pants off.
36:24I was like...
36:26Nina has touched grass.
36:28No!
36:31Please return to the bar.
36:32Sorry, everybody.
36:33Look how cool he looks on the bike, though.
36:35So, Nina, you hang here and we'll get you to transfer the giraffe to the bike.
36:41You get its leg over there, yeah.
36:42Looking at a giraffe is a man's job.
36:44I want to see the giraffe's head.
36:48It's worth it for the...
36:49Yeah.
36:51We're coming.
36:53The giraffe has touched grass.
36:55Where?
36:57That's a lie.
36:58Please return to the bar.
37:00Oh, you are kidding.
37:02You're a liar, Tom.
37:03I think we need to knock out Tom.
37:04That's a good strategy.
37:06We could just carry it.
37:07Carry it.
37:07Yeah.
37:08All right, let's go.
37:08Sorry, Nina.
37:09Who are you?
37:09That's okay.
37:10I'll just wait for my boys to come back from the giraffe.
37:13Oh, sorry.
37:13It feels a little...
37:14Very well, very well, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
37:20Like touch the grass.
37:23Oh!
37:23Touch the grass with your hand.
37:24Oh, for God's sake!
37:25Please return to the bar.
37:26I'm quite enjoying this.
37:27Can we just touch the grass a few more times?
37:29That giraffe really needs a bar.
37:31Okay, all right.
37:33I can't go back to the bar again.
37:34We're not going to.
37:35We'll use these.
37:36We'll just hold each other side of these.
37:37Gotcha.
37:38It's not going to tip a sorus on it, is it?
37:39No, that's when Nina comes in.
37:40She stabilizes.
37:41Oh!
37:46Nina, touch grass with her foot.
37:48I'm so sorry.
37:48Please return to the bar.
37:50Okay.
37:50Let's make a pact to not have to go back to the bar again.
37:54Man, zoos do this all the time.
37:56Our last couple of plans were very sexist, so this is...
37:58This is...
37:59Nina, you stay there.
38:00We've got this.
38:01Here we go.
38:01Okay, all right.
38:02No, this is good.
38:02This is good.
38:03Going this way.
38:04Yeah.
38:04And we're in the bar.
38:05We're in the bar.
38:07Holy shit.
38:08Great work, team.
38:10Having more people is supposed to be an advantage.
38:15I think you were at your best when Nina wasn't contributing.
38:19I would disagree, because when we got the giraffe in the bath,
38:22that was a group effort.
38:23Right.
38:23You couldn't have done it without me.
38:24You needed all three.
38:25I like the way that you say,
38:27we needed all three people,
38:28after you just watched two people do it on their own.
38:32I definitely had the thought of just going up.
38:35I could just do this by myself.
38:37I just want to say, I never had that thought.
38:39I was like, I need two strong boys and a giraffe.
38:43This team took a total of 22 minutes and 42 seconds.
38:47I think Julia and Danielle both get five points.
38:50That's an easy choice.
38:51Did a great job.
38:52The Bad Improv group gets two points, I think.
38:55Two points each.
38:57This was hard to watch.
38:58How's our episode scoreboard looking?
39:00So in last place with eight points, we have Luke.
39:02And in the lead, it's Julia with 15 points.
39:08Let's settle it then.
39:09Off your backsides and up on stage,
39:11it's time for a live task.
39:13Get up there.
39:14Up you get.
39:15I'm deeply intrigued.
39:18What's going on here?
39:20Nina, could you please read the task?
39:22OK.
39:23As a team, use your own shadows to spell Taskmaster.
39:27You must spell one letter at a time.
39:33A letter will be captured every 10 seconds.
39:36Every team member must contribute to every letter.
39:39The best team Taskmaster wins.
39:41The picture of your first letter will be taken exactly 10 seconds
39:44after Tom Cashman blows his whistle.
39:46OK.
39:48It's exciting.
39:51Come forward.
39:52Come forward.
39:53Oh, yeah.
39:54That's a T.
39:55That's a T.
39:56That's a T.
39:58Oh, yeah.
39:59Hold it.
40:04Quick go in the middle.
40:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:07Which way does it?
40:08Let's go!
40:15Come forward.
40:15Come forward.
40:19M, M.
40:19That's it.
40:20You like it?
40:23What?
40:24Just go.
40:24He's got it.
40:25Exactly.
40:26A bad improv group are doing what they do best.
40:35What on earth is Luke doing?
40:45No, no, we can't sell you!
40:47We can't sell you!
40:52Oh, ok, I'm going to do this.
40:56Yeah!
41:01Shall we take a look at the results?
41:04Let's see Jimmy, Luke and Nina first.
41:14Taskmaster!
41:16Yeah, I'll be honest with you, I'm using the letters underneath it to read it.
41:21It kind of just does look like you're looking through the window of a gymnastics studio.
41:27What's going on there in the second S?
41:32Are you taking something out or putting it back in?
41:36I just want it to be useful.
41:39I'll be honest with you, I'm not happy about that at all.
41:42Would you like to see the next one?
41:43Uh, yeah.
41:44Let's look at it.
41:45Sure, that has to be better.
41:53OK.
41:55Um, I think we need to focus on, what's happening with the K?
42:00It looks like you're in Germany in 1940.
42:06You look like you're a Nazi man.
42:09Yes.
42:11The first S, by the way, looks like you've had a very unfortunate accident in Bali.
42:16LAUGHTER
42:21Yeah, well I think I'm ready to score. They're both terrible.
42:24LAUGHTER
42:26But I found Julia and Danielle's teams slightly more amusing.
42:29So I'm thinking I'm going to give Julia and Danielle two.
42:33OK.
42:34They both get two.
42:36The bad improv troupe, they get one.
42:38LAUGHTER
42:40So, has that done anything for moving and or shaking our scoreboard for the night?
42:43Yeah, it's added one to some of them and two to some of the others.
42:47LAUGHTER
42:48What about the totals?
42:49Oh, the totals.
42:50Yeah, the totals.
42:51The winner of the episode is Julia Morris with 17.
42:53Join us.
42:57Congratulations, Julia.
42:58Five very pretentious items coming your way.
43:00You can take them home, put them in your house
43:02and look at them through a monocle while wearing a top hat.
43:06Do whatever you want, they're yours.
43:08Get up on stage and claim your pretentious bounty!
43:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:13Five episodes down and we are halfway through our inaugural season.
43:16And while there is only one winner,
43:18the rest of us walk away with something even more pretentious.
43:21Knowledge.
43:23Tonight we learnt that popcorn is generally inedible
43:26when drowned in toilet water.
43:28LAUGHTER
43:29We learnt about the unique bathing habits
43:31of the East African giraffe.
43:33But importantly, however, we learnt our episode five winner is Julia!
43:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:39Make you feel loved for about 30 more seconds
43:41by piping around Leeds.
43:42We'll see you next week with more Cars Nice Australia!
43:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:45LAUGHTER
43:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:58Obrigada.
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