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00:00Ahhhh!
00:02Ahhhh!
00:04Ahhhhh!
00:06Ahhhh!
00:16Oh!
00:18Oh!
00:20Yasss!
00:22No!
00:24Oh, meu Deus!
00:26.
00:28.
00:30.
00:32.
00:34.
00:36.
00:38.
00:40.
00:42.
00:44.
00:46.
00:48.
00:50.
00:52.
00:54The wiser, not wise, not even wise-ish comedians are...
00:58Anne Edmonds.
01:00Jenny Tien.
01:02Josh Thomas.
01:04Floyd Langford.
01:06And Will Anderson.
01:08And the person who I tried to manipulate into not being here
01:14by scheduling a learn-to-draw anime girls event
01:18at the same time as his taping is Tom Cashman.
01:22.
01:26Why didn't you go to the drawing class?
01:28I knew it was a trick.
01:30.
01:32And I already know how to do it.
01:34.
01:35Alright Tom, make yourself useful and tell us about the prize task.
01:38Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in
01:40the thing most likely to make your parents tut tut.
01:43And at the end of tonight, the winner of the episode will take home
01:46all five tut-tut-able prizes.
01:48Okay, well Will Anderson, what have you brought in to make your parents tut tut?
01:51My parents are dairy farmers, Tom, so I thought I'd start there.
01:53So I brought in this.
01:55.
01:56That's a little cow in like a skimpy bikini.
01:59And if you press it...
02:01.
02:03That is my parents saying tut tut.
02:05They sounded like cow chewing on cud.
02:07.
02:09.
02:10Alright, so scantily clad.
02:11They're normally naked.
02:12Isn't that worse?
02:13.
02:14I think if you went to a farm and a cow was in a bikini, you'd think that was worse.
02:16.
02:17.
02:18.
02:19.
02:20What do you have?
02:21Yes, so my parents, when they get older, they always talk about how I'm going to take
02:24care of them.
02:25So I've brought in a pack for the retirement village I'm going to send them to.
02:29.
02:30.
02:31.
02:32Oh, we can see there's a 110% dissatisfaction rate because I'm going to send them to the
02:37cheapest retirement home in the country.
02:39.
02:40.
02:41.
02:42.
02:43.
02:44.
02:45.
02:46.
02:47.
02:48.
02:49.
02:50.
02:52.
02:53.
02:54.
02:55.
02:56.
02:57.
02:58Displaced parental pride might overshadow that who said they had pride
03:05Lloyd, what do you have? I'm glad you asked I
03:09Have a
03:11Photograph of me standing next to a not retreating from a lit firework
03:18And it is attached to a copy of the Daily Mail newspaper the Daily Mail is full of scare stories about
03:25Immigration and global warming and the royal family and stuff. So they're already being a in a tutting vibe
03:33And then they'll turn over the page and they'll be faced with a photograph of me
03:38Absolutely disobeying the accepted laws of the firework behavior
03:44And what did you bring in I actually brought in my Deb dress
03:49You already know I can just I could already feel judgmental energy from parents
03:53Well, my mum who is a feminist she said to me. I'll give you a thousand dollars if you don't make your Deb
04:01And so at the age of 17 I gave up a thousand dollars to be paraded around in front of men
04:09I've got a thousand dollars anyway from now
04:15What's a Deb oh Europe where did you go to school Tom none of your business
04:20You obviously weren't invited it's when they it used
04:27They parade the women around and society go she's out. Uh-huh. Yeah
04:32Marry her off. Is this how you met Lloyd? Yeah
04:37That was a very hotly contested auction
04:42So Josh what would make your parents tart I brought in I'm your gold Logie
04:50They um they really don't like you
05:01So they don't like my comedy or my whole act they just think that you're a piece of shit
05:10Probably never gonna meet your parents it doesn't worry me you've met my parents have I
05:14No
05:19Well Josh's mum if you are watching I think you're a
05:27Well I better score these mmm will on one point because I think a nude cow would be even more tut tut at that myself
05:34Jenny I'm gonna give two points because quite considerate
05:37I mean at the moment it may seem like a long way away, but I'm telling you they'll eventually appreciate it
05:41No, but they're Asian parents, so no they won't
05:46Not sure that means because I'm white
05:49Josh I'm giving three points to I know he's saying that his parents hate me, but quite happy about that
05:55Lloyd's gonna get four points because being too close to a bottle rocket is a definite parental dressing down and five points to and because
06:03Mothers hate their daughters
06:05I
06:07Right this way
06:09All right Tom task time one of the real ones that we filmed with cameras
06:14You know what I always say if life gives you lemons turn it into the first team task of the season
06:18Oh
06:32Hello hi Josh, you look good. Thank you
06:37Don't run too fast. There's some dangerous implements over here. You don't want me getting cut by a knife
06:41I would hate that bunch of lemons. Oh my god
06:43Oh my god
06:45Oh my god
06:47Nice to see you too
06:49Oh
06:51Hi, where did you come from? I just sort of live out the front there
06:54Oh
06:56Oh
06:58Oh my god
07:00Well you look like the worst discount wiggles
07:04All the whole time
07:06How have you found Tom Cashman?
07:07Yeah, good. He's really warm and um
07:09Sometimes I find him really annoying but sometimes I like him
07:11Yeah, I mostly like him
07:13So who wants to read the
07:14I'll read it
07:15Okay, go
07:16Okay, let's go
07:17This is hard. Do you find this bit hard?
07:20I haven't found that bit hard, no
07:22This is the hardest bit for me
07:24Yeah
07:26Toss lemons from one waste bin to another
07:29All tossing and all catching must be done with waste bins
07:33Any lemon that hits the ground Tom will make into lemonade
07:37Further successful toss in meters
07:39What does that mean?
07:40It's just that I don't need to say meters does it?
07:42All those words
07:43Further successful toss in meters minus the amount of lemonade in liters wins
07:48You have 15 minutes
07:50Your time starts now
07:51Maybe we should start off small and give ourselves confidence
07:54Right
07:55Should we just start really long and see if we win?
07:57Yeah, okay
08:03So can you just talk us through the task again?
08:05Um, it's total meters
08:06Total meters
08:07Minus the amount of liters of lemonade which would be created by any dropped lemon
08:11Any lemon that touches the ground I juice and that's the literage that is minused from the meterage
08:16I've made this too complicated
08:19Didn't understand it then, I don't understand it now
08:22Basically, you've got to throw from
08:26Do you want me to have a go?
08:28Maybe
08:29So you've got to throw a lemon from one basket to another
08:31The longest distance is the best
08:32Yep
08:33But you subtract the amount of liters of juice from the lemons on the ground
08:36Yeah
08:37Okay, so I like to name the memes
08:42But I feel like Will already named his team beautifully as the Discount Wiggles
08:47I'm just going to sit back on the other team
08:49Okay
08:50And maybe I'll decide later
08:51Anyway, meters minus liters, easy
08:53Which team is going to start us off?
08:55This team is a lot like lemons
08:57If they showed up at half-time to your local footy match
08:59You'd think something's gone horribly wrong
09:01It's Anne and Josh
09:02Alright, you ready?
09:07That doesn't count! That doesn't count!
09:09It's still in there
09:10We've got 15 minutes
09:11Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
09:13Okay, okay, okay
09:14Wait, we don't have to worry about him though
09:15Do you want to throw or catch?
09:23Okay, I can get further
09:24I can get further
09:25I can get further
09:26Let's do some more
09:31Let's do some more
09:35I'll have a throw now
09:36Yeah
09:38Oh, you should throw
09:43Oh!
09:44I mean, we would have been almost the same
09:46These have touched the ground
09:47Look how small that is
09:48These have touched the ground
09:49What if they touch the ground?
09:51That's correct
09:52Should we stop?
09:53Ah!
09:54It bounced out!
09:55Just up there
09:58How could they toss further?
10:00You could go up on the top
10:01Go up there
10:02Go on the balcony
10:03Okay, go, go, go
10:04This is the most important thing you've ever done
10:06I know you've done TV shows
10:08And lived in LA and stuff
10:10But this will make or break you this
10:13This is a lemon!
10:14Oh!
10:15That was so close
10:18Ah!
10:19Oh!
10:20It hit my wrist
10:27Oh!
10:28I was here
10:29Is that good?
10:30Is that further?
10:31I don't know
10:32Go right out there
10:33Yeah
10:34Go right out there and then
10:35This will be a wrap
10:36No!
10:40I think we're done
10:41Look at the whistle
10:42Hey whistle boys
10:43They're just two lemons just dropped
10:45It was just
10:46No!
10:47Why did I point that out?
10:48I don't know why you did that
10:50Honey
10:51You've gone real serious about that juice
10:53He's so busy juicing
10:55Well this is our winning
10:56Ooh
10:57This is our winning lemon
10:58I really
10:59What happens with the juice?
11:05Look at him
11:06He's like a near cat
11:07Is that touching the grass?
11:08It's not touching the blade of grass
11:09It's not touching the blade of grass
11:10Ah!
11:11Oh!
11:12Ah!
11:13Oh!
11:14Oh!
11:15Oh!
11:16Oh!
11:19Okay, well
11:20I'm not sure that you understood what was going on there
11:22Given Josh you said what's going on with the juice
11:25Do you understand now?
11:27No
11:28Um
11:29We assumed that only the lemons that we missed catching in them but then some of the wheelbarrow
11:34and that counted and we sort of hadn't thought that through yet
11:37Yeah
11:38But I think we should have stopped
11:40You should have stopped
11:43When Josh said I think we're doing quite good at that point they dropped 14 lemons in a row
11:48But like let's be honest how many did you expect us to drop?
11:54I would have thought more than 14
11:56Yeah 14 feels right
11:57So you've got 10.8 metres distance
11:59And 1.7 litres of juice which gives you a final score of 9.1
12:03I feel good about that
12:07So I've been thinking about the team name
12:09We've got Discount Wiggles
12:10Yep
12:11I need something equivalent
12:12So I'm thinking premium economy hoolidoolies
12:14Wiggles discount premium economy hoolidoolies
12:21It's about even
12:23I don't know what a hoolidoolie is
12:25I don't know either
12:26Yeah
12:27The fact that you don't know who they are makes it even better
12:29Hello to the hoolidoolies if you're watching at home
12:32No one remembers you
12:34Hey hoolidoolies
12:36F*** yeah
12:38Yeah
12:39And Josh's mum if you're still watching you're still a f***ing whip
12:42Alright our very own lemon party continues right after this
12:54Welcome back to Taskmaster
12:56The Olympic arena where comedians clash in marathons of confusing life challenges involving shit like eggs or lemons
13:03Tom Cashman where are we up to?
13:05It's the Discount Wiggles with the ingredients for a very discounted fruit salad
13:09Yummy, yummy, yummy, it's Jenny
13:12Where's the point?
13:13Hey any lemon hits the ground Tom will turn it into a lemon
13:15No, no, no
13:16You should
13:17That wasn't an attempt
13:21Lloyd what have you done?
13:23That wasn't an attempt
13:24Duh
13:25Lloyd
13:26Okay
13:27Alright you ready?
13:28Yeah
13:29Oh shoot
13:30Oh that was great
13:31We've got one
13:32Essa é a primeira distância.
13:34Oh, é ótimo.
13:36Eu acho que você pode ter mais uma vez mais uma vez.
13:39Oh, shit!
13:40Ok.
13:41Ok.
13:42Ok.
13:43Ok.
13:44Ok.
13:45Ok.
13:46Ok.
13:47Ok.
13:48Ok.
13:49Ok.
13:50Ok.
13:51Ok.
13:52Ok.
13:53Ok.
13:54Ok.
13:55Ok.
13:56Ok.
13:57Ok.
13:58Ok.
13:59Ok.
14:00Hey, that was pretty good.
14:02Not letting it hit the ground.
14:03Yes!
14:05Here we go.
14:07Oh!
14:08Got it.
14:09Yes!
14:10Good work.
14:11This is good.
14:12Right here, thank you very much.
14:13Wow.
14:14Alright.
14:15Big throw, big fella.
14:16Let's go.
14:17Oh, one of the all-time crates.
14:19Damn!
14:20There we go.
14:21That's not that.
14:22That was great.
14:23That's a great throw.
14:24Oh!
14:26Got it?
14:27Yes!
14:28Yes!
14:30Você é incrível.
14:32O que você tem que você tem em seu, Lloyd?
14:35Eu acho que Lloyd tem outra outra.
14:36Você tem uma coisa.
14:37Você tem uma coisa.
14:3825 segundos.
14:39Você tem uma coisa.
14:40Vamos lá.
14:41Vamos lá.
14:42Vamos lá.
14:43Vamos lá.
14:44Vamos ver o que acontece.
14:45Isso pode ser o momento em TASMASTER.
14:47Vamos lá, Lloyd!
14:58Aplausos!
15:09Can I...?
15:13Look...
15:14What?
15:14We...
15:15We...
15:16We did lose and we would have lost...
15:16Come on, Lemon boy.
15:17We would have lost...
15:18Don't let us have our moment.
15:21How do you feel about the fact that when they threw,
15:23they had two people with two different baskets,
15:26capable of catching?
15:27Ah, é um bom ponto.
15:28Eles têm dois passos de oportunidades,
15:30e nós só tínhamos me.
15:32Mas sua ineptitude é o mesmo.
15:34Ainda...
15:35Ainda...
15:36Ainda...
15:37Ainda...
15:38No, eu...
15:39Eu acho que a pergunta é que eu acho que a resposta é que nós não tínhamos.
15:42Eu acho que a problema é que se diz que nós dizemos que eles têm dois passos,
15:46Tom vai dizer que eles têm dois passos,
15:47eles dizem que eles têm um...
15:48Ainda não tínhamos.
15:50Ainda hoje, mas, na hora, está Bahia.
15:53Essas
16:02Portas exparedes bem datado.
16:07No!
16:08Em meio que eu já sabia About a sân .
16:13Na linda.
16:15Em meio.
16:19Então, o Discount Wiggles foi ótimo!
16:21Eu acho que foi incrível!
16:23Nós acidentemente inventamos um task que é realmente
16:25um welsha nacional sport, pois você era
16:27todo mundo sobre isso!
16:29Sim, eu já estava vibando.
16:31Eu era como...
16:33Eu era bom para...
16:35...citares de waste receptacles.
16:37Foi realmente impressionante.
16:39Ele foi assim, oh meu Deus!
16:41Eu estava realmente atraindo para ele!
16:43Então, o Discount Wiggles,
16:4919.8 metros,
16:51only 0.9 litros,
16:53então, o seu score é 18.9,
16:55mais do que o outro lado.
16:57Eu acho que o Discount Wiggles
16:59fez um ótimo trabalho.
17:01Então, o Discount Wiggles
17:03fez um ótimo trabalho.
17:05Ok.
17:07E o Premium Economy, oi-do-lis,
17:093 e 3.
17:11Então, a Liss e Tom,
17:13pode você nos dar um episódio score update?
17:15Josh e Will
17:17are on 6 points
17:19each. Jenny's on 7, Anne's on 8,
17:21mas Lloyde é na lead com 9 points.
17:23Ok,
17:25vamos lá, nós vamos fazer uma outra
17:31tarefa, não?
17:33A CIDADE NO BRASIL
18:03TURNIP
18:04But this one is a mystery to me
18:05This is a celeriac
18:07If this task is for us to root Tom
18:09I'm very excited about this
18:11Oh okay
18:11Make love to Tom
18:15You have 30 seconds
18:16Your time starts now
18:18Is that your usual time?
18:20Pick a root vegetable
18:21Then do something breathtaking with it
18:23You have 30 seconds
18:25To choose your root vegetable
18:27Then 30 minutes to do something with it
18:30Most breathtaking thing
18:32Wins
18:33Your time starts now
18:36I'm going to pick this one
18:37Teleriac
18:38Oh
18:39Oh
18:40Yeah
18:41Why did you choose that one?
18:44It looked more like a willy
18:45Tom
18:46Can't beat a root
18:47I pick up what you're putting down
18:50We're going to be special friends
18:53Special?
18:54No, not like that Tom
18:55Get your mind out of the gutter
18:56Okay
18:57And then what do I do
18:58Breathtaking with it?
19:03I think you sort of held your breath through that
19:06You're finished?
19:07Then 30 minutes to do something with it
19:09Oh I've misread it
19:10Oh I've misread it
19:13Haven't I?
19:14Okay well
19:15Let's try and do something more breathtaking than that
19:17Okay
19:17So just to be clear
19:20We've got Joshua in a sweet potato
19:21As did Anne
19:22Jenny grabbed the celeriac
19:24And Will the beetroot
19:25For its joke potential obviously
19:27And Lloyd the parsnip
19:28Who's first?
19:29For maximum healthiness
19:30Tonight we will consume
19:31Five vegetable based tasks
19:33Our first course
19:34Is Jenny
19:35Woo
19:36Welcome to the root vegetable Olympics
19:40Today we have the diving event
19:42In competition
19:43We have beetroot
19:45Sweet potato
19:46And what's that coming?
19:47The incredible celeriac
19:50Who has a name
19:51Very hard to pronounce
19:53Therefore making it
19:54The superior root vegetable
19:55First up
19:56We have sweet potato
19:58Oh
19:59Oh
19:59Oh
20:00Lands on the ground
20:02Like a loser
20:03Next up
20:04Beetroot
20:05Oh
20:06And
20:07It doesn't make it either
20:08It doesn't belong in burgers
20:10Or the Olympics
20:11And finally
20:12We have celeriac
20:14Diving
20:15Diving
20:16Now
20:17It turns
20:18It spins
20:19It's flying through the air
20:21I have never seen anything
20:23So magnificent
20:24And it's
20:25Land
20:26Absolutely breathtaking
20:28Celeriac is the winner
20:30Yeah
20:32I got a good reaction Jenny
20:37Yeah
20:38Were you supposed to just choose one root vegetable
20:40It never said you can't have all of them there
20:42You have to choose one and do something
20:44Breathtaking with that one
20:46Yeah with that one
20:47But I did with the one
20:48Now the other vegetables last
20:49I'm with Jenny 100% on this
20:51Yeah
20:51Celeriac was the only one that did anything breathtaking
20:54Exactly
20:55Just before you get excited Jenny
20:57Every time Josh backs himself
20:59It goes badly
21:00I agree
21:02Like for the celeriac to
21:04You know
21:04Win gold in the Olympics
21:05Would be breathtaking
21:06Yeah
21:07But the other root vegetables
21:08Were in the Olympics
21:10Which I would also say
21:11Is quite breathtaking
21:12Would you really call a splat on the ground
21:15Breathtaking
21:15Let me just picture it
21:17I'm watching the Olympics
21:17Someone jumps up the board
21:19They split in half
21:21You know what I'd do
21:21I can't breathe
21:25I can't breathe
21:27In fact more so than the gold medal
21:29Okay who's next
21:31This guy never struggled to get a root
21:33At least that's what he's always telling me
21:35It's Will Anderson
21:35Hi there
21:37Hi Tom
21:38Will
21:39I am Will but I'm also a beetroot
21:42Tom
21:43Will you make me the happiest beetroot in the world
21:47And take this task from me
21:48Okay
21:49Could you please open it
21:51Be mine
21:53Yeah
21:53Every day
21:54Every night
21:55Tom
21:55Are you owed
21:57Orgasms
21:58Tonight
21:59Question my question my
22:00I love you
22:01Please marry me
22:03Yeah
22:03If you could make me the happiest beetroot on earth
22:06Thank you
22:09Thank you
22:10I love you
22:11Thank you
22:13I think we've just learned
22:19Why you never said yes to a sketch show
22:21I feel like you're way outside your comfort zone
22:28Yes of course I am
22:30I've come on someone else's show
22:32It's weird to sit over the other side of a panel
22:34You know
22:35I know
22:35I have been thinking
22:36Why are you doing this show
22:37Do you need money
22:39You know I can lend it to you
22:40Well firstly Tom
22:43I mean I actually kind of do need money
22:45But if I did need money
22:48This would not be the show that I would come on
22:50Because we're all being paid the same
22:51Despite our experience
22:53Is that why you were doing the root jokes before
22:59Because it's all you think
23:00Yeah you get what you pay for
23:01It's break time
23:04So why don't you go to your fridge bottom drawer
23:07Find that sad shriveled up carrot
23:09And set it free by chucking it into the night
23:11See you after this
23:12Welcome back to Taskmaster
23:20We've seen some spuds have a crack with some lemons
23:23And now we're in the middle of watching these lemons
23:26Tool around with some spuds
23:28That's right
23:28Our contestants are trying to do something breathtaking
23:30With a root vegetable
23:31So far we've had a spectacular fall from Jenny
23:33And a spectacular fall from Grace
23:35From Will
23:36Who's up next
23:39Can he beat snapping a bit of it off with his knee
23:41It's Josh Thomas
23:42You know sometimes you see those people
23:46And they make a battery out of a potato
23:48What people?
23:50You make a circuit
23:50You connect the copper to the zinc
23:55And then you connect the copper to the light bulb
23:57But that makes a circuit
23:59So now we connect this to this
24:02Okay
24:03Can we turn the light off?
24:05Oh!
24:08Is it not working?
24:10Yeah
24:10It feels like a letdown
24:16Okay
24:16I feel disappointed
24:17Yep
24:18It's just me and you
24:19And this duck staring at a potato
24:21Even your mother would be tut-tutting that
24:27You've got to give it to me
24:29It was a quick package though
24:30Can we make a potato battery?
24:34No we can't
24:36Now it's time for Jenny Tian
24:38The good news is you did already snap a sweet potato in half
24:43And by comparison that was breathtaking
24:45So I'm more than happy to go with the snapped sweet potato
24:51Well then let's have another lesser Tom
24:53I've heard of Mr Potato Head
24:54It's time for some Mrs Potato Dread with Anne Edmonds
24:57Hi my name's Sweetie
25:02I came today because my grandma and I always used to sing together and she just passed away
25:09This is my song
25:12I'm just a sweet potato
25:19I'm long and strange and bumpy
25:27That's what the other potatoes call me
25:36Yeah
25:40I'm always left on the shelf
25:44Yeah
25:50I'm sweet
25:51Sweet potato
25:54Yeah
25:57I'm sweet
25:58Sweet
26:00Potato
26:03Sweet
26:05Sweet
26:06Potato
26:09Baby I was born to
26:16Fry
26:21Fry
26:26Fry
26:29Fry
26:34Fry
26:36Fry
26:37Fry
26:39Thanks, Anne.
26:39No worries.
26:46Sorry, I've just got to get my breath back.
26:49That was amazing.
26:50Moving.
26:51That was very moving.
26:52And Lloyd, you know, I've been singing that song around the house too.
26:55Did it ring a bell?
26:56To me, it just sounded like an old classic.
26:59So you improv'd all of that?
27:01Holy cow, you're talented.
27:04Yeah, she improv'd the lines,
27:05sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet potato, yeah.
27:10OK, we've got one more attempt at taking breaths with a dirt nugget.
27:14He's a big fan of underground jazz.
27:15Let's see how he feels about underground vegetables.
27:18It's Lloyd Langford.
27:20I saw, like, an American football player.
27:23OK.
27:23And he threw it over a house.
27:26As soon as it let go of his hand,
27:28he ran around the house and then he caught it.
27:32Right.
27:32And I reckon I could throw this parsnip over that shed
27:37and do the same thing.
27:39What I'm wondering is,
27:40if I keep trying it and failing,
27:42are you going to use that footage?
27:47That's the right...
27:48Did you run all the way around?
27:49So quickly that I missed it?
27:51I went fully around the shed then.
27:53I did it again.
27:54I'm not a very athletic person.
28:12Do this.
28:13Get your head together.
28:14Get in the game.
28:15We'll do this.
28:23You think it's possible?
28:24Yeah.
28:31That was heartbreaking.
28:32How much time have I got?
28:3326 seconds.
28:35Right.
28:35It's almost like you were performing to a crowd there.
29:02I was just fantasising doing it like in a stadium, you know?
29:06Do you think you'll beat the others here?
29:07I'd like to see Josh Thomas throw a parsnip over a shed
29:10and catch it on the other side.
29:12He hasn't got a sniff.
29:13You could rename the task for everyone else.
29:16You could say,
29:17Lloyd threw a parsnip over a shed and caught it.
29:19Can you do the same?
29:20So you're challenging the others specifically?
29:22I'm laying down the gauntlet.
29:23So, parsnip throwing,
29:28I feel like we've stumbled on another Welsh national sport.
29:31It took me so long.
29:33I injured my wrist and I had to,
29:35one of the crew had to, like,
29:36tape my wrist up for the remaining tasks
29:38and it really took the shine off.
29:40I feel bad that Anne, having to sit there,
29:43watch you do that.
29:44Well, I was just about to say, it's over.
29:46Yeah.
29:48Yeah, it's over the shed.
29:49No, no, no, no, no, no.
29:51It's over.
29:51OK, well, you said that we should turn it into a task
29:55and I agree with you, Lloyd.
29:57So, we did.
30:01Oh, well.
30:04Aw.
30:06Lloyd threw a parsnip over a shed and caught it.
30:08Can you do the same?
30:09If you do it in fewer attempts than Lloyd.
30:11Lloyd is wrong.
30:13I love it when Lloyd's wrong.
30:14You have ten minutes.
30:16Your time starts now.
30:21Oh, my...
30:27That wasn't the single coolest moment
30:43of my whole life.
30:49One-headed.
30:50One-headed.
30:50So, Lloyd took 24 attempts to catch a parsnip
30:58after being thrown over the shed.
31:00Everybody else did it in less than 24.
31:02Well, I think the only thing to do there
31:05is to give all the others a bonus point
31:07and not Lloyd.
31:12So, to go back to the primary task,
31:14I have to grade all of them.
31:16I think Will's on one point
31:17because I don't ever want to see him
31:18do sketch comedy ever again.
31:20Well, you're going to have to close your eyes
31:22a couple of times over the next few weeks.
31:25Josh, I'm giving two points to.
31:27The knee snap was underwhelming
31:28compared to all the others.
31:30Yeah.
31:30Lloyd's on three
31:31because it was a good initial task
31:32before he started the smack talk.
31:34Jenny's on four
31:35because it was an Olympic standard.
31:36But my breath was actually taken away
31:38just by that beautiful sweet potato
31:40singing its little heart out.
31:42And five points.
31:43CHEERING
31:44Now, you've had your fruit,
31:48You've had your veggies,
31:50the foundations of the food pyramid.
31:52So let's squeeze in some more TV junk food
31:54for an ad break.
31:56See you after this.
32:03Welcome back to Taskmaster.
32:05We've watched lemons go into the trash
32:07and Lloyd's reputation as a parsnip thrower
32:09go even further into the trash.
32:11What could be next?
32:12Another task.
32:13And my apologies,
32:14this one involves a bit of a pong.
32:16A ping pong.
32:18Hi.
32:30Hey, Jenny.
32:31Hello.
32:32Hi, Josh.
32:33OK.
32:35Hey, Toots.
32:36Hi.
32:37Hello.
32:38What now?
32:39What's going on here?
32:41Get those balls into that jar.
32:43You're not allowed to use your hands.
32:44Get the balls from this jar into that jar.
32:48You may not touch the balls with your hands.
32:50Foster wins.
32:51Your time starts now.
32:52You've got it all figured out.
32:53You mother f***er.
33:06Yeah.
33:07Um, never underestimate us, Lloyd.
33:10Uh, seems simple enough.
33:13Move the balls from this container to that container pretty much.
33:16Yes.
33:17Who's first?
33:18First up, we've got Will, Lloyd and Jenny.
33:21Get the balls from this jar into that jar.
33:23You may not touch the balls with your hands.
33:28Ah, there's no bottom on that, is there?
33:31If I picked that up, all the balls would have gone everywhere.
33:33We'd hate that.
33:41I see what you've done.
33:44You know what?
33:45Come into it.
33:47Time to start scooping up some balls.
33:52OK, this vacuum cleaner.
33:53It feels like I could only suck one ball at a time if I did that.
33:57I'm going to be back.
33:57If anything, that feels like it's going to take longer.
34:08Maybe I could use this as, like, a container.
34:12Oh, God!
34:14It'd be better if I had some sort of funnel.
34:17How's your day been?
34:19Pretty good.
34:20I mean, they've just been putting balls in jars.
34:22I know that for you, Liv.
34:24Oh, man.
34:24Why is this really the fastest way to do this?
34:29The jar's wearing a bib?
34:30The jar is wearing a bib, Tom.
34:31Yes, exactly.
34:32Let's give it a go.
34:36The bibs have been effective.
34:37We've got some balls loose, Tom.
34:39What are you thinking?
34:40I'm thinking, like, all of the best proctologists.
34:45I'm going to fix this bottom.
34:47Oh, I just realised that the bouncy balls are big enough for the vacuum.
34:51Oh.
34:54Oh, Tom.
34:56Why is this going so badly?
34:58I'm just going to try something else.
34:59Is there a time limit on this tusk?
35:01No.
35:01It's because I overheard the crew talking about all the time.
35:04It might be necessary.
35:09Stuck in them balls anyway.
35:10I won't say that again.
35:11I like this bit.
35:23Oh, yeah.
35:24Here we go.
35:27Look, I suppose that's one of the downsides of using so much tape.
35:30I want to try and complete the task for the best of my ability.
35:33And then we can all move on with our lives, I suppose.
35:36We're going to leave no ball and grub.
35:38Do you think any proctologists ever say that?
35:41You'll be struck off the register.
35:46So finish it off.
35:48One, two.
35:53Whoever's in the props department needs her arse kicked for that.
35:56A basic error.
35:58All right, that's good.
36:00Yay!
36:01If they've just cut a circle at the very bottom, this would have been impossible to see.
36:07Impossible, do you think?
36:08I could have put something underneath if I knew there was a hole underneath.
36:11Okay, well, I feel in summary, it's Will, Nerd, Lloyd, Dope, Jenny, well-meaning.
36:24At what point did you know things weren't going well for you, Jenny?
36:27Before this series, I thought I was really quite a competent human being.
36:31And then I did tasks like this.
36:35It was the last task of the day, might I add.
36:39I was on such little sleep and all I wanted was a nap.
36:42And then I just couldn't keep track of anything.
36:45I went into this show not thinking I had any competence.
36:48And constantly proved that I have like half competence.
36:51I'm always like, can I identify what the problem is?
36:53But I can't necessarily find what the solution to that problem is.
36:57Okay, so you're like opposite Jenny.
36:59In almost every way.
37:00So Lloyd, you came in pretty cocky,
37:05thinking that you knew what the task was going to be all about.
37:08And then you very quickly hoisted yourself on your own petard.
37:12When the balls fell out the bottom...
37:13Oh, we loved it.
37:15I did a bit as well.
37:18I was excited and then it was like your first sexual experience.
37:23Like mine?
37:25Oh, you mean people in general?
37:27You said that to me very directly.
37:28He said, it was like your first sexual experience.
37:31And I'm like, I remember being there and you not being there.
37:34So Jenny took 34 minutes and 41 seconds.
37:39Lloyd took 23 minutes and 9 seconds.
37:42And Will was slightly faster.
37:4322 minutes and 14 seconds.
37:45That leaves Jenny in last place, but not to kick her while she's down.
37:51But you might want to see this.
37:54You may not touch the balls with your hand.
37:56No, I didn't realise that the...
38:12These things are possible.
38:14Oh, but I can't touch the balls.
38:16Ah, I touched it!
38:18You know, I hope I don't get disqualified for touching those balls at the beginning.
38:25Jenny touched 17 balls in total.
38:31You said during that that you hope that it doesn't disqualify you.
38:34But don't you commend my effort that even though the first thing I did was touch balls,
38:39I still spent how long again?
38:4039...
38:4034 minutes.
38:4134 minutes completing the rest of the task.
38:44It's true.
38:44It's one of the best disqualifications I've ever seen.
38:47All right, we're done with this part of the show.
38:49We're going to move to that part of the show,
38:51which happens right after the break.
38:59Hello, we are back here on Taskmaster.
39:02Before the break, Will and Lloyd did some low-efficiency ball transplants
39:06and Jenny got too handsy, leaving her empty-handed.
39:10We're in the midst of a task where our contestants are trying to move balls
39:13from Jar to Jar without using their hands.
39:14The door to first place could still be a Jar too.
39:17Next up, it's Anne and Josh.
39:20Your time starts now.
39:25There's a hole in the bottom.
39:27That's the stunt.
39:33Well, I won't do that again.
39:35Fastest wins.
39:36That's taken a turn for the worst, there.
39:53It's not quite good, though, isn't it?
40:02There is a vacuum cleaner.
40:04It's fun.
40:20No, bronchotainer.
40:30I'm done.
40:30Are you?
40:32What was the task?
40:33All the balls.
40:37Well, now aren't I in a spot of bother.
40:41It's going to take ages.
40:43So we're all just going to stay here while I do this, are we?
40:45I guess.
40:46This is just doing chores, isn't it?
40:48A little bit.
40:50Do you feel good right now?
40:51I feel normal.
40:53I don't really want to pick them all up.
40:54I know that sounds immature, but I just don't really want to do it, you know?
41:00But you're not satisfied with the implements?
41:01The implements are great.
41:03Okay, what if I sweep onto the...
41:05The plastic seems like the only real...
41:06Don't touch.
41:07What?
41:08I did touch one.
41:09Does that mean I'm disqualified?
41:10I'd love to be disqualified.
41:12Am I disqualified?
41:12Uh-oh.
41:18I'm just going to admit defeat and say, you know, I'm now at the mercy of the taskmaster.
41:24Okay.
41:24Oh, my God, I'm disqualified.
41:25Would you like to be disqualified?
41:35So, Anne, I feel like a lot went wrong for you.
41:38Were you having a day?
41:39Can I just say, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet day?
41:43Remember that?
41:44I do remember that, but it did erase my memory of it.
41:47I couldn't get all those balls out.
41:49I just don't have that kind of staying power.
41:51That's how I roll a bit.
41:52Just throw in the towel.
41:54Why not sometimes?
41:55May I remind you also who finished it?
42:02Fair point.
42:04Josh, you were disqualified and then you were very happy to be disqualified.
42:07Yeah.
42:08Only a chump would stay there picking up balls after they've been disqualified.
42:11No, sorry, you didn't know.
42:14You didn't know.
42:14Well, you did know, didn't you?
42:16Yeah.
42:16Yeah.
42:17So, I...
42:18Okay, well, what are the scores?
42:20Well, so Anne quit after 13 minutes and 19 seconds.
42:24Josh disqualified himself after 4 minutes and 14 seconds.
42:27Wow.
42:29Yeah, well, I think it's pretty easy.
42:34Jenny did do one of the best disqualifications I've ever seen in my life, so I'm going to
42:37leave you at zero.
42:38Whereas I feel like Josh's disqualification was minus one.
42:42And also, I feel that Anne, in giving up, sets a bad example, minus one.
42:50You can't just give up on a task.
42:52I can.
42:54I did.
42:55Okay, well, do it again.
42:56There'll be more negatives for you, won't there?
42:58Well, that means four points for Lloyd and five points to an unstoppable Will Anderson.
43:08So, a live task is moments away, but first, how's the episode score looking, Leslie Tom?
43:13Well, we've had some movement.
43:14Josh is on eight.
43:15There's some jostling in the middle, but now Lloyd has taken the lead with 16 points.
43:21All right, let's wrap things up with a live task.
43:23Everyone, get on the stage.
43:24So, Lissa Tom, what's all this crap?
43:31Well, before we reveal the task, I would ask each contestant to pick one thing from the
43:36bath, please.
43:39This will backfire.
43:41It always does.
43:42Yeehaw!
43:47So, Anne has a hat, Jenny has a leg, Josh has a chicken, Lloyd has a gnome, and Will has
43:52a plunger.
43:53Well, Jenny, if I could ask you to read this.
43:55Uh-oh.
43:57All right, paint a painting of a thing that rhymes with your thing, using only your thing.
44:03Best painting wins.
44:05However, if the taskmaster cannot tell what your thing is, you will lose two points.
44:10You have three minutes.
44:12Anyone have any more questions before we commence?
44:13Are we supposed to be naked under these?
44:16Whatever you do under there is your business.
44:21All right, your three minutes starts now.
44:26That's a silly thing to paint with.
44:28Is the conundrum in which you've found yourself, yes.
44:31You've got two minutes left.
44:33F*** off.
44:34I'm not going to win this.
44:39I should have probably clarified this earlier, but please don't draw anything really, really
44:43rude.
44:43Eeeeh.
44:46Josh, did you hear that?
44:48What?
44:49That's not rude.
44:50One minute remaining.
44:51No, I want to go home.
44:53I believe in you, Josh.
44:55You can do it.
44:56Thank you.
44:57You're wrong, too.
45:00Three seconds.
45:02Two.
45:02One.
45:08Okay, well, let's bring these jokers back down to their seats, which is the opposite of
45:12what you should do.
45:12You should get out of your seat, maybe walk around during the break.
45:15See you soon.
45:16Welcome back to Taskmaster, where our mouth air is like fishhooks.
45:27Yes, we're waiting with bated breath.
45:29Well, you need to judge our live tasks, where objects were painted, using objects that rhyme
45:34with those painted objects.
45:36So, first of all, you need to guess what each painting is of.
45:38So, first, can we see Anne's painting?
45:41Okay.
45:41Um.
45:43I think that's a cat.
45:45You've nailed it in one.
45:46Okay.
45:48Could we see Jenny's painting?
45:50A little bit abstract, but I'm pretty sure that would be the first thing that pops into
45:53your head to rhyme with leg, and that would be peg.
45:56That is correct.
45:57Woo!
46:00Could we please see Josh's painting?
46:04Come on, Tommy.
46:06Okay, well, something that rhymes with chicken, um, it's like you're painting really slowly
46:12and someone yelled out, quicken.
46:13That's all I can think of, really.
46:15That is incorrect.
46:17Does anybody know what it is?
46:19What is it?
46:20It's licking!
46:21That's a big tongue, that's a big tongue, slurp, slurp, and then that's a lollipop.
46:28And to that I say, thank God.
46:32Lloyd's painting, can we see Lloyd's, please?
46:34Well, I think we're obviously looking at a house.
46:43The Taskmaster's just being cute.
46:45That's correct.
46:47Yeah, that's a home, obviously.
46:49Will was painting with a plunger.
46:51If you get this, I'm not going to sit here for the credits.
46:57A grave threat.
46:59I'm not sure I'd be able to identify it if I didn't know what it was.
47:06Can I say, when I clarified with Will what it was, it seemed like he'd forgotten.
47:10Maybe...sponger?
47:15No way!
47:21You get out of here!
47:22You tell your story, Walkers!
47:25That's what's just happened!
47:27Thank you, Josh!
47:29Oh!
47:30Thank you, Josh!
47:36Alright, well, I have to allocate some scores.
47:40I had no idea what Josh was painting, so that's obviously minus two.
47:43And just to be clear, he did quit.
47:46And I made it very clear before that if you quit, that's minus one.
47:49So I think it's minus three for Josh.
47:51OK.
47:52I mean, I think that sounds fair to me.
47:54Oh!
47:56He has an opportunity to come back right now if he wanted, and he's chosen not to do it, so.
48:02Hopefully there'll be more quitting later in the season.
48:05Sponger Will is on two, because let's be honest, I jagged that one.
48:10Jenny is on three for the peg.
48:13The cat was a great painting.
48:15I think the most beautiful painting was The Home by Lloyd.
48:17Now, who wins the good stuff?
48:24Well, not doing their best was Josh, but on 21 points, the winner is Lloyd Lincoln!
48:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
48:28All right, congratulations, Lloyd.
48:33Get up there and rip into that perfect collection of material items that are finally going to bring meaning to your life.
48:40And that brings us to the end of episode two.
48:43What a show, and we've learnt so much.
48:45Tom has genuinely learnt what a debutante's ball is, and that he's never been asked to one.
48:51And I learnt that Lloyd was born to hoik fruit, but curse to fumble veggies.
48:56Well done, Lloyd.
48:59You're the big winner.
49:00Enjoy your parent displeasing bounty.
49:03Everyone else, see you next time.
49:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
49:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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