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00:30Yes! Hello! Welcome, television viewers, to the first episode of the first season of Taskmaster Australia.
00:40I'm Tom Gleeson, and everything I've done in my storied career has led to this.
00:45For now, I'm no longer just Tom Gleeson. I am the Taskmaster!
00:51For ten weeks, five comedians, hand-selected by me, will put their brains, bodies, and whatever they have left of their reputations on the line.
00:59As they compete to take home the most valuable prize in Australian television history, this golden replica of my stunning head.
01:07Let's meet the brave contestants vying for the prize.
01:17Our season one cast are...
01:19Neil Walker, Jimmy Rees, Julia Morris, Luke McGregor, and Mina Riyama.
01:28These five comedians have each given up days of their precious lives to complete a series of tasks set by me at our highly secretive Taskmaster Retreat.
01:39Unfortunately for them, we filmed everything they did with high-definition cameras, and I am going to spend the next ten weeks ranking them from best to worst.
01:48Oh, and there's someone else I need to introduce.
01:50Sitting next to me, on a significantly smaller and appropriate chair, is a man whose value will become more apparent, hopefully, as the show goes on.
01:59Tom Cashman has been my eyes and ears on the ground during the filming of the task, and also my hands and legs.
02:09I promise I didn't do anything weird with your eyes or ears.
02:13Or legs.
02:15The hands, well...
02:16Let's just say there are a few slip-ups.
02:20But I will be providing facts and figures throughout the show.
02:24For example, about, like, 90% of me regret saying that thing about my hands just then.
02:29Shall we get stuck into our first task?
02:31Yes.
02:32Our first task is a prize task.
02:34So each of our contestants have been asked to bring in a prize or an offering.
02:38The one that fits the brief the best will receive five points.
02:42The second best, four points, and so on.
02:44And the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
02:50So what's the prize task tonight, Tom?
02:53Tonight our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the most beautiful thing.
02:58All right, I think we all know the most beautiful thing is a 15-cent reusable Coles bag blowing in the wind.
03:05But maybe this lot can top that.
03:07Danielle, what have you brought?
03:09It's a couture gown based off a country item.
03:11A fishing shirt that I've made it.
03:13This is...
03:14I've added a corset back and I've covered it in bedazzles.
03:19I feel like you're dressed there for the red carpet at the Country Music Awards in Tamworth.
03:27Oh, if I win it back, I'm wearing it to the Logies.
03:31So, Jimmy, what have you brought for me?
03:33I thought a beautiful thing I saw on Twitter, actually.
03:36It's just the composition of words that I think is quite beautiful.
03:39Okay. Poetic?
03:40Yeah.
03:42You'll see.
03:43Oh, my God, this is fantastic.
03:46My preference was for Kitty Flanagan to be the taskmaster, but Tom is absolutely an easy pick.
03:54To be fair, Kitty Flanagan would have been a great taskmaster, but this is Australian television and I'm a white man, so I get to host.
04:01That's how it works.
04:02I thought I had more retweets than that, but the one comment was me just saying, beautiful.
04:10Julia, what do you bring?
04:12One of my real happy place is a morning coffee.
04:14I had a mug made for myself and that is the beautiful thing that I've brought in.
04:18and it's what I like to call the taskmaster in his dorm room at school coffee mug.
04:33Where did that photo come from?
04:34I'm not telling you.
04:35No names, no court cases.
04:37Well, Julia, I really like it because now I know what colour Tom's hair was.
04:41Yes!
04:41Luke, what did you bring?
04:49Well, you and I both, we love the sun.
04:54But we're limited to when it's below UV level three.
05:00So, I brought in the sunset.
05:04No, sorry, sunrise.
05:06Well, both.
05:07I brought in both, but because I couldn't bring in either.
05:11I brought in this, so we don't miss it.
05:19Hang on.
05:20Did you say sunrise or sunset?
05:22Well, I brought, well, you can use, you can go for both.
05:23You just put it in the, you just set the alarm and you can.
05:26You had to set the alarm for the sunset.
05:28What, are you worried about having a really, really decent nap?
05:32Well, if you're busy, it's, um, you get an alarm clock.
05:38But we've got one of those in our phone.
05:43You brought in something that we already have.
05:45You actually, I'm not sure you brought anything, really, if you think about it.
05:48I think I'm going to mark you down harshly.
05:50Or, or, or, hear me out, you don't do that.
05:53Okay, Nina.
05:56I brought in a cigarette butt from the gutter.
06:00That's got a lipstick stain on it.
06:02Lipsticks are such a motif for, like, elegance and beauty and, like, class.
06:06And then, like, a cigarette is the opposite of that.
06:08And it kills you.
06:10So, yeah, like, so the sunset, not too bad anymore, right?
06:13I feel like the only thing it represents is just a woman who's made a poor health choice.
06:21First of all, I think Luke's at the bottom because he brought us nothing.
06:24Well, I mean, a sunset, they are beautiful things, but you didn't actually bring them.
06:27Just to bring the sun in would have been a logistical nightmare.
06:31Okay, so Luke's on one.
06:33Nina's, I understand the poetry behind it, but really it's just a woman who've made a poor health choice.
06:37So Nina's on two.
06:38Julia's reminded me of my traumatic past, so that's a three.
06:41To be fair, Kitty Flanagan would have been a better Taskmaster, so Jimmy's on four.
06:48And Danielle's going to look so great at the Logies.
06:52She can have the win on five.
06:55All right, shall we get into the good gear, Tom Cashman?
06:58I still get shivers when you say my name.
07:02Let's do it.
07:02It's time for our first pre-filmed task of the season, which is cause for celebration.
07:07A very restrained celebration.
07:11Hi, Tom.
07:23Hi, Julia.
07:24I'm coming.
07:30Come on, buddy.
07:31Hi, Danielle.
07:33It's in the letterbox.
07:34The flag's up.
07:36Oh.
07:36Oh, message received.
07:45Stand by.
07:48I didn't know that's what that meant.
07:51Remove the balloon from inside the caravan.
07:55You may not touch or step into the caravan.
08:00Fastest winds.
08:01Your time starts.
08:04Now.
08:05Where is it?
08:06Now.
08:06Oh, that is in there.
08:18So, relatively simple stuff here.
08:21We've got a balloon in a caravan and our contestants have to remove the balloon without stepping
08:25into the caravan or touching it.
08:27Fastest winds.
08:28Okay, well let's get stuck in, shall we?
08:30One's blown up on social media, the other doesn't mind a puff.
08:33Here's Jimmy and Julia.
08:37You may not touch or step into the caravan.
08:41You can't step in there.
08:42You've just got to get it out.
08:43I feel like I need a gun.
08:45Alright, I just want to survey the area, Tom.
08:50Yes.
08:51No, not up there.
08:52Alright, I'm wasting time.
08:53I can feel it in my ladies' waters.
09:01I think I've got an idea.
09:04Okay.
09:18I want to put myself in here.
09:20So, I'm not touching.
09:22Oh, okay, Tom.
09:23I'm still not touching, I don't think.
09:25Go this way.
09:26It's going to bounce off the...
09:28Come this way.
09:30Come on.
09:31That was a nice basket too.
09:32Um, okay.
09:33Oh.
09:37Just using what is available to me at this current point.
09:43Here we go.
09:47Bounce.
09:48Oh.
09:48Got it, Tom.
09:53Woo!
10:00I must say, I'm not sure what was more exhausting, watching you blow that much.
10:05Or watching Julia sit on a basket.
10:08I really had no idea what I was doing.
10:10I, you know, I was just happy to be away from home.
10:13For a second when I was watching you in the middle of the task, I thought the task was
10:17polishing the floor with your arse.
10:19Well, I mean, 75 years in the business, Tom, let's face it.
10:23Still got a job.
10:24Now, I feel like popping the balloon was disappointing.
10:27But it did just say you had to get the balloon out, didn't it?
10:29There was nothing in the rules that said you couldn't pop the balloon.
10:31I feel like I want to mark you down for that.
10:33But why?
10:34I got the balloon out of the thing.
10:35It was just disappointing.
10:36The crowd went, oh.
10:38And I thought, I just go with the crowd.
10:40I'm an entertainer.
10:42Wait!
10:42And then I picked up the remains of the balloon and they all went, oh!
10:49You're leaving out half the story, Tom.
10:51No, I don't remember that bit.
10:54Jimmy took four minutes and 18 seconds to remove the balloon from the caravan.
10:58Julia took seven minutes and 26 seconds.
11:01All right.
11:02Who's next, Tom?
11:03Well, having been children more recently, help them.
11:05It's our two youngest contestants, Danielle and Nina.
11:08Can you go inside and open a window?
11:11Yeah.
11:11That would be good, maybe.
11:13Yeah.
11:15Okay, thank you.
11:15Thank you.
11:16I'll be back.
11:16I need some things.
11:17Change of plans.
11:19Or I'm going to get both, like, just in case, like, JIC.
11:23JIC?
11:24JIC, just in case.
11:25Oh.
11:26I thought you had an idea of what Jesus' middle name was.
11:28Oh, yeah.
11:29Maybe it's my middle name, which is Isabel.
11:31Jesus Isabel Christ.
11:33That has a nice ring to it.
11:35Totally.
11:36Beautiful.
11:36I should run.
11:37This is a fast time.
11:38I need to run.
11:38Okay.
11:42So, I can't go in the caravan, but I can do something like this.
11:47All right.
11:47Okay.
11:48What if I use them like little chopsticks?
11:57Oh, oh, oh.
11:58We have an action.
12:00Oh, oh.
12:01Oh, my God.
12:01Oh, my God.
12:02Nope.
12:03Nope.
12:04Ah.
12:05No.
12:07No.
12:08Oh.
12:10Oh.
12:11This balloon's floating with me.
12:12Oh, okay.
12:13Okay.
12:15Okay.
12:15It's like big, um, salad tongs right now.
12:19Sure.
12:21Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
12:32Thank you.
12:34Hey, Drew.
12:35One balloon.
12:40Nina, I really wish the audience saw the look on your face when Danielle put tape on her oar.
12:46I saw the look on your face.
12:48It was a look of regret.
12:49It was.
12:50It was a nice moment for me too
12:52Because I talk in a way that makes people think I'm dumb
12:55But then that really proves that
12:56There's something going on
12:59I also talk in a way that thinks I'm
13:02No
13:03There it is
13:05Thank you so much Nina
13:09For proving that point
13:10So how are you scoring them
13:12Danielle with her sticky ore method
13:14Took 5 minutes and 18 seconds
13:16Nina's salad tongs method
13:19Took 3 minutes and 18 seconds
13:22Who's that?
13:24Much like balloons
13:25Certain children are scared of him
13:27It's Luke McGregor
13:28You may not touch it or step into the caravan
13:32So I can't step into the caravan
13:33Didn't say I can't go into the caravan
13:36You reckon that's going to pass?
13:50Did you touch the caravan?
13:52Oh shit
13:53I did touch the caravan
13:57I forgot about that
13:58Well I'm taking the balloon
14:02Luke did you know that we were filming this?
14:10I had a hunch based on the 20 members of crew around us
14:15Yeah I feel like you're very good at lateral thinking
14:17If you don't follow the rules
14:19Because you fixated on that one thing
14:22I was so excited
14:23It's like doesn't fit in the lava
14:24Well I can jump into it
14:25And then it's still lava
14:27And you die
14:28My favourite part of it
14:30Was the eye contact you maintained with me
14:32As you proudly slid back
14:35So that's a pretty easy disqualification
14:39Well it's very early on in the series
14:42But I feel like we need to establish that rules are rules
14:44So who won?
14:47Well I mean if you're going to be a stickler for rules
14:50Oh no
14:50I feel like there's some more footage that maybe you should see
14:52Oh no
14:54You may not touch the caravan or step into it
14:58Is that right?
14:59That's what it says
14:59You may not touch it
15:01Is that open?
15:04Oh what's this?
15:06I was going to do a roll in
15:07Oh okay
15:08Because it's not stepping in is it?
15:10Is it touching?
15:11Does it open?
15:12Does it open?
15:13Oh it's open
15:14Get open!
15:16Is that not a step?
15:21No not that way!
15:23No!
15:27All my dreams have come true
15:29We are opening the whole series
15:31With a mass disqualification event
15:33This is great!
15:36I thought we'd have to wait weeks for this
15:38Jimmy touched the caravan 25 times
15:41Julia touched it 4 times
15:44And stepped into it once
15:45So our scores are
15:47Julia, Jimmy and Luke
15:48Have been disqualified
15:50Danielle is on 4 points
15:52And the winner of this task
15:54Is Nina Oyama with 5 points
15:56So the winner thus far
16:01Danielle on 9 points
16:02What do you reckon?
16:07Shall we do another one?
16:08We've got like 30 more of these to go
16:10So I think yeah
16:10Let's watch our contestants
16:13Put their lives on the line
16:15Hey man!
16:32Hey Nina!
16:33Oh there's you!
16:39Awwww!
16:40Look at that!
16:41In Paris?
16:42And as a baby?
16:43It's my history
16:44Getting married?
16:45You should be proud of yourself
16:47Thank you!
16:48You can die
16:49You haven't lived a full life
16:50Let's not go that far
16:51Ok create a minute long montage of your life
17:01The best looking life wins
17:04Best looking
17:04That's in the bag
17:07You have 45 minutes
17:08Your time starts now
17:09Let's start with my breath
17:11I'll be back
17:13So our contestants had 45 minutes
17:18To film all the scenes
17:19To make up the story of their lives
17:21And all creative decisions
17:23Were made by our contestants
17:24Ok was that wise?
17:26I'm not sure
17:26Ok
17:27Who's first?
17:29Let's take a dive
17:30Into the twisted mind
17:32Of Danielle Walker
17:33Hi
17:34That's me Danielle
17:36My mum knew she was going to call me
17:38Danielle for forever
17:39She went to a sidekick
17:40Who said
17:41You're going to call your daughter Danielle
17:42Also
17:43She will be known the world over
17:45My favourite movie when I was a kid
17:47Was Andre the Seal
17:48We recorded it onto VCR
17:50But it was recorded second
17:52After a report on 60 Minutes
17:54About a man getting killed
17:55And I didn't know how to use fast forward
17:56So I'd have to watch that first
17:58I was 8 years old
17:59When my grandad taught me how to drive
18:01Hey bush rat
18:02Yeah
18:02You know you can eat that
18:04We check the pig traps everyday for feral pigs
18:07Feral pigs are a real scourge on this country
18:10They need to be eradicated
18:13They're destroying Australia's flora and fauna
18:15Grandad shoot
18:16Grandad
18:16Grandad
18:17Me and my grandad love drinking together
18:19Me and grandad love food
18:21Rainbow popcorn to the rainbow fish
18:23So that they'd get their beautiful colours
18:24That's me with Quentin Bryce
18:27Ex-governor general of Australia
18:28She's giving me my BP scout medallion
18:30The highest accolade you can get in scouts
18:32And yes
18:33We shake hands with the opposite hand in scouts
18:35Okay
18:35I woke up on my 410th birthday
18:39And saw the light
18:40I walked into it
18:41Now I'm in heaven
18:43Scouts was a highlight
18:52If that was a highlight to your life
18:53I'm worried you've had a bit of a shit life
18:55I loved scouts
18:57Because it was fun
18:58And I got to
18:58I was a PL
18:59It's a PL
19:00It's a patrol leader
19:01Oh
19:01Yeah
19:02You work your way up the ranks
19:03You start off scum
19:05Then you go
19:05Is that one of the rankings?
19:09Scum
19:09Yeah, scum
19:10Really?
19:11Do you get a scum badge?
19:12You don't even get to wear a badge
19:15You don't even get a uniform
19:18Are you sure this was scouts?
19:21Well, mum took me somewhere on a Wednesday night, so
19:23I feel like you got a bit political in the middle of your film there too
19:31You worked in your woke, anti-feral pig agenda
19:34What was that about?
19:35Oh, sorry, is that woke, is it?
19:37To not want the bandicoots to die out?
19:39Danielle's not wrong, in 2021 it was estimated that Queensland had up to 2.3 million feral pigs
19:47Okay, so you mixed a few facts in there with your short film
19:50I'm big into facts and I'm not big into feral pigs
19:54Okay, well the boundaries have been laid
19:57Who's up next?
19:59From the twisted mind of Jimmy Rees, here's Jimmy Rees
20:02Oh, he looks handsome
20:04Me?
20:04Oh, we had a baby
20:06Hey!
20:06Let's call him Toby
20:08No, not Toby, we'll call him James
20:09I don't want to ride on the motorbike
20:12It's your first day of school, Jimmy
20:13Ready to go, mum
20:14The school captain will be
20:16Me?
20:17See?
20:17That was fun finishing school
20:18What am I going to do now?
20:19Come see me, Jimmy
20:21Okay, for like one year?
20:22Sure, whatever
20:23I'd like to be on TV
20:24Wanna come and hang with me, Jimmy?
20:25Only if I can wear pyjamas 24-7
20:28Yeah, you got it, man
20:29Oh, that girl looks cute
20:30What, me?
20:31You may kiss the bride
20:34Hi
20:34Oh, you won't be needing that
20:35Wow
20:36That's me, Jimmy
20:38She's so proud
20:39We should have another one
20:40Cut it, Jimmy
20:41Twins are amazing
20:43Oh, wow
20:45Woo, my life is crazy
20:47You're on Taskmaster, Jimmy
20:48Oh, what do I do?
20:49Oh, thanks, Tom
20:51Um, uh, just read it
20:55Yep, okay
20:56Create a minute-long montage of your life
20:59Best-looking life wins
21:00You have 45 minutes
21:01Your time starts now
21:04I feel, Jimmy, that that was like one of your TikTok videos
21:11Except a bit more brief
21:15And also the camera work was less shit
21:17But it'll be seen by less people because it's on broadcast TV
21:21That's very true
21:22But if I post that, it won't
21:24Oh, you're just going to get someone to send you the video file
21:26And then just upload it
21:27Because I didn't have to edit it
21:28It was easier
21:28Can you post mine?
21:29I'd love to get the word out about feral pigs
21:36Tom Cashman
21:37Who shall we look at next?
21:39Here's one from the twisted mind of Julia Morris
21:42All right, iMovie, here we go
21:44Are you going to choose some photos?
21:46Yeah
21:46I mean, you can't believe how hot I thought I was there
21:48I think I have a disease called reverse body dysmorphia
21:51Where I just think I look really hot all the time
21:53Right
21:54Here we go
21:55Get in there
21:56It's got no music on it
21:57But do you want me to sing?
21:58I love you
22:01Some covers
22:02There we go
22:03How hot the honey
22:03Are there
22:04I have this
22:11You about me
22:16But do you want me to do
22:21E e e e e e e
22:24Da da da da da
22:27Ha ha ha ha ha
22:32Ha ha ha ha ha
22:34Thanks Julia
22:35Yeah that's my real pleasure sir
22:37So desperate for validation
22:38I know it's pathetic
22:40But I can't change it now
22:42That nearly 55
22:43Is that a montage?
22:49I feel like it was more of a slideshow
22:51Oh, well, yeah, I guess
22:54One thing I will say is I do feel like you captured the three stages of life
22:59Childhood, adolescence and being a celebrity meeting other celebrities
23:02Which is something that we all go through, isn't it?
23:06Absolutely
23:06And also, it's not like I know her
23:08I'm standing next to her in a photo
23:10And then we both go our separate ways
23:12That's what always gets me about celebrity photos
23:14They're so ridiculous
23:14You're like, here's us standing beside each other
23:17And then we weren't
23:18That's right
23:19Are we going to hang out after this, Julia?
23:21Never!
23:21No
23:22It's never going to happen
23:24I would love it, but I just know
23:26And also, it's because only one of us is a celebrity
23:28I'm ready for more montages
23:32They call her the pretzel
23:35Because her mind is so goddamn twisted
23:37It's Nina Oyama
23:39I'm here to debut the book that I read, Space for Dummies
23:54It blew my mind
24:07And it made me want to go to space
24:11And it made me want to go to space
24:12Right?
24:13Right?
24:13Yeah!
24:14Three, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one
24:21Lift off
24:23Well, you brought something new in with the titles
24:47Oh, thank you
24:48And the black and white
24:49Yeah, which was great
24:50I also liked it when you held a press conference to announce that you'd read a book
24:53Is that what the point of that press conference was?
24:57Yeah, because I don't sound or look like I read books
25:00And so I wanted everyone to be proud of me
25:02I'm feeling like I have to mark you down though
25:06Because I think
25:06Wasn't the task yet to make a montage of your life?
25:09Create a minute-long montage of your life
25:12Best-looking life wins
25:13You have 45 minutes
25:14Your time starts now
25:14Of your life
25:16Interpret that how you will
25:17I know how I'm going to interpret it
25:19I'm going to interpret it for maximum damage
25:22We have one more montage to go
25:27No, and it...
25:28Oh
25:29Oh, it says...
25:30It says this guy's just got a normal mind
25:32Nothing twisted about it
25:35It's Luke McGregor
25:36Push
25:37Push, Mrs. McGregor
25:39I'll name him Luke
25:43After Luke Skywalker
25:45Cool
25:46Luke, I'm the mayor
25:48And I need you to jump this lake to save the town
25:50You got it, Mr. Mayor
25:52I support gay marriage
25:54Thank you
26:01I am the king of Tasmania
26:05And I hereby knight you for protect...
26:06I'm a teenager as well
26:07I'm the youngest knight
26:08Youngest knight ever
26:09Nevertheless you've protected our realm
26:11And you're the best
26:12Here is the knighting
26:14Thank you, thank you king
26:17I can't wait to tell all my girlfriends
26:20How many do you have?
26:21None of your business
26:22Okay
26:23Have I done it?
26:25Have I done it?
26:27You've cured cancer
26:29Oh, great
26:32We gather here today to remember the life of Luke McGregor
26:36Who died winning the sex grand final
26:40So Luke, did all these things happen in your life?
26:57I tried to stick to the facts
26:59Oh great, well I won't mark you down
27:01So tell us what happened in the sex grand final
27:08Um, well I died but
27:10It's a bit of a blur to be honest
27:12Um
27:13But um
27:14Tom was there?
27:15I'm
27:16That's not true
27:18I've never even made it out of the sex round of 16
27:22I feel like I should give some scores
27:27I gotta say, Julia you're at the bottom on one
27:29Cause I feel like it was a slideshow
27:31And that was a disappointment
27:32Fair enough, both
27:33So you're at the bottom on one
27:34Okay
27:35Nina's was completely made up
27:36You weren't an astronaut
27:37That wasn't actually your life
27:38So that's two
27:39Jimmy
27:40I feel like it's a very good clip
27:42But you don't need points
27:43Cause you're gonna get like sponsored content
27:44Or some shit on Instagram
27:45I don't understand
27:46And then Danielle for raising awareness
27:48Of the feral pig problem in Queensland
27:50That's something that needs to be talked about more often
27:52So four points to Danielle
27:54That's true
27:55And for Luke McGregor's factual life
27:57That was very entertaining
27:59I'm giving him five points
28:00APPLAUSE
28:05Tom Cashman, my trusted assistant
28:07Do we have another task to watch?
28:09We do
28:10And this one is juicy, baby
28:20Hi
28:25Cuckoo
28:26Cuckoo
28:27Cuckoo
28:32Hey buddy
28:33Hi Luke
28:34Oh, oh
28:35There's a lot of things here
28:36Hmm, quite a collection
28:40Yeah, I've recorded before
28:42And I record again
28:43You know what else I do?
28:45Oh
28:46Oh
28:50Yeah
28:51Careful
28:52Yeah
28:53It's hard to guess what the task's gonna be
28:54So I'll just read it
28:55OK, dear lord
28:56Fill the glass with orange juice
28:59You may only touch oranges with the items on the bench
29:02Fastest wins
29:03Your time starts now
29:05So they're only allowed to touch the oranges with an egg beater
29:11A keyboard
29:12A toothbrush
29:13A dumbbell
29:14A recorder
29:15And a crock
29:16No different from how they do it at Boo Stews
29:17Uh, who's
29:18Who's up first?
29:19These three all follow me on Instagram
29:21It's Nina
29:22Luke and Jimmy
29:24Oh yeah
29:25Oh
29:26Oh my god
29:27One
29:30The first blast is the best blast
29:33As they say
29:35The first blast is the best blast
29:37Yep
29:38Couple more
29:39Look at that, that's working
29:40Show me the glass
29:43There's gotta be something better we can be doing
29:45Yeah
29:49I've made the floor slippery Tom
29:51Can you just remind me that when I do that next time?
29:53How much is full?
29:54It just needs to be at least 50%
29:56Because that can be a glass half full
29:58It can also be a glass half empty
29:59It has to be 51%
30:01I don't think the saying is a glass half full
30:03That's a full glass
30:05Oh
30:06Okay
30:07Can you also remind me to just be less aggressive with the weight
30:09When I go to squash an orange next?
30:12This will double our output
30:19What?
30:20Oh yeah
30:22I'm almost there I think
30:23Oh it comes out the side of the crock
30:25Can you also remind me that it comes out of the side of the crock next?
30:27Yeah
30:28So that's three
30:33Why is my aim getting worse?
30:35Alright Jimmy be careful of the slipperiness
30:36Thank you
30:37And don't be too aggressive with the weight
30:39Thank you
30:40And also be mindful that the juice comes out of the side of the crock
30:42And what are we saying showbiz?
30:44The first blast is the best blast
30:45Mate you are an A plus student
30:48The keeper's not working
30:50The keeper's not working
30:51I'm thinking maybe if I do this
30:53Then brush it into the table
30:57A couple more
30:59Just catch it, gotta catch it now
31:00Catch, catch, catch
31:01Be mindful of the slipperiness
31:04Are you going to type encouraging words on the keyboard?
31:06Okay
31:07If you want
31:08Fantastic
31:09Job
31:10Thank you
31:11Enter
31:12Received
31:13Damn
31:14I really squeezed the shit out of this one
31:15That guy's never going to walk again
31:18Oh no, no, no
31:20No
31:21Am I disqualified?
31:27No the juice
31:28No I don't care
31:29I'm going to care
31:30Nevertheless she persisted
31:31But I'm going to do one more orange
31:32And then I'm going to give up
31:33Be careful being too aggressive
31:35Thank you
31:36And don't slip
31:37Okay
31:38Look at that
31:39Is that it?
31:45Pathmaster
31:46Forgive Nina for touching the orange that one time
31:49Are you finished?
31:50Cheers
31:51Yes
31:52Want some?
31:53Sure
31:54Careful it's slippery
31:55Thanks Jimmy
31:56No worries
31:59What percentage fall do you think that is?
32:01It's more than half
32:0352%
32:05Oh boy
32:13Nina we have to talk
32:14You decide it was half full when it got to half the height
32:18But the problem is
32:19The glass has angles
32:21So I suspect the top half has more volume than the bottom half
32:26That just sounds like maths or science
32:29Which I'm unfortunately not very good at despite being half Asian
32:34I think I'm just going to have to trust you on this one
32:39Well you can trust me because I did the maths
32:43Nina's glass was 49.4% full
32:51So Nina took 19 minutes and 29 seconds to fill the glass to 49.4%
32:56So if you do the maths and you extend that out and assume that you would have filled the glass at the same rate
33:01Your time comes to 39 minutes and 1 second
33:03Oh it's like times 2
33:05No
33:06No
33:07It's approximately times 2
33:09It's approximately times 2
33:10But maybe you shouldn't approximate things from now on
33:17Okay now Luke you could have just actually taken the weight to the whole bucket of oranges right from the get go
33:22Yes in fairness I didn't think of that
33:26So Jimmy great use of the croc
33:31So when you looked at that did you just see a strainer?
33:33Is that what you're thinking?
33:34I have worn them before and there was a lot of airflow through a croc
33:39Even though it makes your feet sweat profusely
33:42Can I say I only found out today that that croc was a used croc
33:51I had a drink of Jimmy's I had a drink of Luke's
33:54Both of them the juice had gone through someone's foot
33:58Stuff
33:59Okay
34:00Well that's interesting so let's just back up again
34:02And can you explain to us again Jimmy just how sweaty a croc can get after you wear them around
34:06It can get really sweaty
34:07In detail
34:08Your feet take the brunt of the sweat
34:09Because everything like gravity like all that goes down there
34:12Into the crocs
34:14This sounds like a great plot for a movie where wearing sweaty crocs are banned in a town called Foot Juice
34:25Nina are you trying to lose more points?
34:28Just outside the competition
34:31Not intentionally
34:32Luke took 17 minutes and 36 seconds to fill the glass with orange juice
34:37Jimmy took 7 minutes and 41 seconds
34:44Okay
34:46Whose sweet nectar shall we drink upon next Tom?
34:49Ah we must be tied 40-40 in a game of tennis
34:52Cause it's juice
34:53With Dania Walker
34:55Fastest wins
34:57Your time starts
35:00N-now
35:01I'm just gonna fill the glass to the top, that's the thing
35:13All the information you need is in the task
35:15Can you read it to me again?
35:16Fill the glass with orange juice
35:18You may only touch oranges with the items on the bench
35:20Fastest wins
35:21Your time starts now
35:22Fill the-with orange
35:24Juice
35:25With touch
35:26Touch
35:27Okay
35:28Far out
35:29That one's too tough
35:32One more, one more, one more, one more
35:33One more, one more
35:34One more juicy
35:41Thanks Danielle
35:42Thank you
35:43How do you think you went?
35:44Oh I'm actually pretty proud of that one
35:45Hopefully that's
35:46Surely that one's pretty good
35:47Pretty good
35:54So
35:56I have to ask you Danielle
35:58What did you think all the objects on the table were for?
36:02I thought
36:03They were the only things you could use to help you
36:06If you wanted
36:10I was really proud of that one
36:13I went home and was like
36:14Well that one's gonna be good
36:17I know
36:20That was the joy of it
36:21I've never seen someone
36:22Look so proud of doing a shit job
36:25I got them juiced so fast with my hands
36:28It would've
36:29I would've won
36:30If that was what the task was
36:32Well
36:33Time was good
36:35Two minutes and 55 seconds
36:37Okay
36:38So ignoring the rules is very effective
36:40This woman's got the juice
36:41It's Julia Morris
36:42I feel like it doesn't say I'll have to use those oranges to fill the orange juice
36:48Tom!
36:49Tom!
36:50Tom!
36:51Tom!
36:52Tom!
36:53Tom!
36:55Tom!
36:57Tom!
36:59Tom!
37:01We're gonna print!
37:03Oh
37:04Is that orange juice?
37:05Is that orange juice?
37:06Uh
37:11Yes!
37:12Okay
37:13Still
37:14Come on
37:16It sounds like I've got a vibrato
37:17Hmm
37:18Well it's cause I'm puffing from running
37:31Okay
37:32Hey Tom
37:34Time is what it looking like when I'm when I'm dead
37:37Oh
37:38Alright
37:39Well hopefully that doesn't happen very soon
37:41Not today, Tom.
37:49Daniela, como você acha que Julia completou essa tarefa?
37:54Pretty pissed off.
37:58Eu gostaria de ver se é realmente 100% orange juice.
38:02É por isso que eu licked e flicked.
38:03Como você pode ver se é 99.9% orange juice?
38:07Ah, o pulp, babe.
38:09It was orange juice.
38:11Julia took 1 minute and 13 seconds.
38:19Alright, Tom Cashman, final scores.
38:21So Danielle is a DQ, disqualified.
38:24Nina, I think we're giving her 1 point.
38:26Luke with 3, Jimmy with 4,
38:28and the winner of this task is Julia with 5 points.
38:36It is almost time for our final task,
38:38but before we do that, Tom, a score update, please.
38:40Leading at the moment is Danielle with 13 points.
38:46Alright, the stakes are high.
38:47Let's head up the stairs for a live task.
38:50I see a lot of props, Tom.
38:55What's going on?
38:56Jimmy, could you please read the task?
38:58I can.
38:59It says, while standing beside your table.
39:01Okay, I'm doing that.
39:02Throw a throw, boot a boot, bowl a bowl, flick a flick, or propel a propeller.
39:09If your item goes over the edge, you are eliminated.
39:15If no item falls, the contestant furthest from the edge of the stage is eliminated.
39:21Once you have selected your item, you must throw, boot, bowl, flick, or propel on Tom's whistle.
39:28Repeat until the last play outstanding wins.
39:32Please select an item.
39:35Oh, okay.
39:36I'm going to go hard up front.
39:38Three, two, one.
39:41Three, two, one.
39:45Oh, no.
39:54The bowl is the furthest from the edge of the stage.
39:57Luke McGregor is eliminated.
39:59Please select another item.
40:01Get down tight.
40:02Set.
40:03I don't think it's necessary for me to specify who lost that round.
40:12Please select an item.
40:13Okay, stand by.
40:20Jimmy is eliminated.
40:22You ready?
40:26Oh, shit.
40:28I love this show, but as in life, there are winners and losers, and we're about to find out who they are.
40:44Our live task saw Luke get one point, Nina two, Jimmy three, Danielle four, and Julia took home five points.
40:52Which means what in the total scheme of things, Tom?
40:58It means tonight's winner of the first ever episode of Taskmaster Australia is Danielle with 17 points.
41:09Well done, Danielle.
41:11Five things of beauty now belong to you.
41:13A mug with my mug on it is coming your way, among other things.
41:18Get up on stage and claim what is rightfully yours.
41:21And that was our first episode.
41:26We learned that Nina Ayama went to space, never came back, and somehow stayed here the whole time.
41:32And we learned that if you want to make some orange juice, you don't have to break a single orange.
41:37We learned that Luke McGregor doesn't know how to read.
41:40But most importantly, however, we've learned that Danielle is the winner of episode one of Taskmaster Australia.
41:47See you next week.
41:48We'll see you next week.
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