- há 4 semanas
Categoria
😹
DivertimentoTranscrição
00:00Transcrição e Legendas por Quintena Coelho
00:30Yes, hello and welcome one and all to Taskmaster Australia.
00:38Many months ago, I sent five comedians of varying levels of fame, success and hand-eye coordination
00:43to our private Taskmaster Retreat to complete a series of complex tasks.
00:49Why would they put themselves through it?
00:50The answer is simple.
00:52To win this, my iconic head recreated in pure gold paint and medium-heavy plastic.
00:58As they will be every week, our contestants are Daniel Walker, Kimmy Reese, Julian Morris,
01:07Luke McGregor and Nina Riyama.
01:12Tonight, I had the distinct pleasure of watching them attempt things and deciding who is good
01:17and who is shit.
01:19It's the job of a lifetime.
01:20Speaking of job of a lifetime, look who the work experience people have sent us today.
01:26It's a younger, keener Tom, my assistant Tom Cashman.
01:33Tom too will be keeping us up to date with stats and figures this evening.
01:37Have you got some good ones for us?
01:38I do have some good ones.
01:40Two minutes and 25 seconds.
01:42I've also got 71%.
01:43And if you think those are good, just wait until they're in context.
01:48Shall we dive into a task?
01:50Our first task is a prize task.
01:52So all five of our contestants have brought in a prize.
01:55The one that tickles the Taskmaster the most will receive five points.
01:58The one that tickles him the least will get one point.
02:00Two, three and four points will also be given based on the level of tickling.
02:04The winner of tonight's episode will take home all five prizes.
02:08Okay.
02:08A brilliant system.
02:10Terribly explained.
02:12What have they brought in for us tonight?
02:15Our contestants have brought in what they consider to be the most satisfying thing to touch.
02:21I've always believed the most satisfying thing to touch is a nation's heart.
02:26Jimmy, what have you got?
02:27I have three children.
02:29Um, and I...
02:30I would like to redact this.
02:34I brought in kinetic sand, okay?
02:37Okay.
02:39This is everywhere in my house and it's very satisfying to touch.
02:42Well, long the kids are gone and I am still playing with the kinetic sand and it is very, very satisfying to touch.
02:48Okay, so even when your kids are out the door doing something else in your home alone,
02:51your first thing that you want to touch is kinetic sand.
02:57Luke, what have you got?
02:57I brought in the Union Valley spot on your hand.
03:02Oh.
03:04Sorry, can you just say that again, Luke?
03:06Can I...
03:06So this...
03:07I brought this...
03:08This...
03:08This spot.
03:10Do you realise that spot is also on your own hand and you could have sat down...
03:14Sit down over there.
03:17Sit down.
03:19So it's supposed to relieve headaches and backaches?
03:23I'm not sure about this one.
03:24You're saying it's satisfying to touch, but you're touching yourself, so you're also being touched.
03:28How much joy are you giving and how much are you receiving?
03:31If you try it, like...
03:35I don't want to try it.
03:38Nina, what did you bring in for us tonight?
03:40Uh, I brought in my ass!
03:47Moulded in one of those hand-pin-y thingies that you touch in the science shop.
03:53So you brought in a thing and you love it so much you don't even know how to name it.
03:56That's how often you use it.
03:58Well, I don't know.
03:59What do you call it?
04:00I don't know.
04:00You brought it in.
04:01On your shelf, what do you call it when you point to it?
04:05No, I had to buy it.
04:05I typed in hand-pin-mouldy-thingy.
04:07Oh.
04:08And, uh, take back-mup.
04:09I really hope that you like it, because there was a real pin in my ass.
04:16Don't applaud, you'll make it worse.
04:20Danielle?
04:20Um, I've brought in the most satisfying thing to touch, which is sensitive weed.
04:26The leaves open up and then when you touch them, they shut up like that.
04:30Oh.
04:30Yeah.
04:32You know what?
04:33The crowd's into it and I'm always swayed by the crowd.
04:36Thank God.
04:37It made Athletics Day at School entertaining for me.
04:40Okay.
04:41I would just sit on the ground and stroke those plants.
04:44Okay.
04:44When you used to sit there, stroking those plants, were you...
04:48I'm guessing you were on your own?
04:51There's a few other kids like me and if you could fit three kids around, you would.
04:54If not, you'd be very protective of your patch of weeds.
04:57She wasn't doing shot put, she was staying put.
04:59Oh, yeah.
05:00Am I allowed to make you lose points?
05:02LAUGHTER
05:03Julia.
05:03Oh.
05:06Yes.
05:07Okay, so I've got it in a towel.
05:09We weren't supposed to bring it in to the actual thing.
05:12I know.
05:12Otherwise, everyone would have touched the kinetic sand and I would have won already.
05:15No, I brought mine in as well.
05:16Oh, God!
05:17APPLAUSE
05:17OK, what is that?
05:22That's the prostate.
05:23Oh.
05:24LAUGHTER
05:25Julia, I have to ask the obvious question.
05:30Have you touched one?
05:32Uh, I'm not legally allowed to talk about whether I've touched it or not.
05:35LAUGHTER
05:37But that's it.
05:38And apparently, boom, crash opera.
05:40All right.
05:40That's what I'm talking about.
05:43All right, well, I'm going to start at the bottom, I think.
05:46Luke's on one, definitely.
05:47Because you just described touching your own hand.
05:49You didn't even try to...
05:50Do you want me to try?
05:51I guess...
05:51All right, I'll try one.
05:53There we go.
05:55At least I know how to de-stress.
05:56I feel like, Julia, I'm going to put on number two
06:00because I feel like most of the pleasure is going to the person
06:01whose prostate is being touched.
06:03LAUGHTER
06:04And then I'm going to put Jimmy at three.
06:07OK.
06:07A for kinetic sand.
06:08Nina above that.
06:09OK.
06:10And Danielle, I'm going to give five points to
06:12just because I feel sorry for her sitting on her own
06:14at an athletic stage.
06:16Oh, thank you.
06:17Danielle is off to a rousing start,
06:19but only one of our contestants will get to touch
06:21all these satisfying things.
06:23Ooh.
06:23I'm ready for a proper meaty task, Lesser Tom.
06:26What have you got for me?
06:27Let's have a look.
06:47Hi, Danielle.
06:48Good morning.
06:49How are you, sir?
06:51All right.
06:51Ooh.
06:52Dog collar.
06:53That takes me back, babes.
06:55OK.
06:56Oh.
06:58What's that?
06:59The task.
06:59Oh.
07:00Oh, sorry.
07:00Oh, yeah.
07:00Go on.
07:01All right.
07:01I've got to read the letter.
07:05Let the cat out of the bag.
07:07Once you touch a bag, you must open it.
07:10Fewest bag openings wins.
07:13Your time starts...
07:14I can't...
07:14Your time starts...
07:16Your time starts...
07:18Meow.
07:20Is that...
07:20And that's now?
07:21Meow.
07:22Do you like that joke?
07:23Yeah, it's very clever.
07:25So, a pretty simple task here.
07:29We've got 100 bags, and you've got to find the cat while opening as few bags as possible.
07:33Whose attempt are we looking at first?
07:35He shares his name with Carr and Fallon, but he doesn't carey.
07:38It's Jimmy Rees.
07:41There's a cat in a bag.
07:42I get it.
07:42OK.
07:43I've got it.
07:43The cat is here.
07:48Is that a cat?
07:49Don't think so.
07:51Is that a cat?
07:52Don't think so.
07:53There's a bowl, and a chilli.
07:56Right.
07:57I know you, Tom.
07:58There's a pattern to it all.
08:00A koala with some milk.
08:04And there's a chicken with some milk.
08:06We've got milk, milk, milk, ice, ice.
08:12Baby.
08:13What?
08:13I just thought it would be funny to say baby after you said ice twice.
08:18OK.
08:18I've got it.
08:19I've figured it out.
08:20OK.
08:20It's a game of warm, cold.
08:23Warm, cold.
08:23Chilli is hot, so I'm close over here.
08:26Dog has a chilli.
08:29So I'm getting warmer.
08:32There's a sausage.
08:33Yep.
08:34Or maybe it's a chorizo.
08:35That could be spicy.
08:36The chillies are here.
08:38There's sausage there.
08:40This one is...
08:42Can I get a drum roll, please, Tom?
08:44This one is...
08:47A cat!
08:50Yes!
08:54Yes!
08:57I have found the cat!
09:02I'm a bit worried about your palate, because at one point you picked up what was clearly a frankfurt and called it a spicy chorizo.
09:09It was near a chilli, so I was like, I'm getting warmer.
09:13So you just willed it into being spicier than it was.
09:15Basically!
09:16The kremsk, it wasn't cooked, it wasn't hot.
09:18What does a frankfurt go in?
09:20Oh, go...
09:21So...
09:22Do you have any stats for us?
09:24I do.
09:25Jimmy opened a total of 22 bags.
09:29Okay.
09:30Have we got time for another?
09:31We do!
09:31Hopefully killing won't be necessary and Curiosity will just find the cat.
09:35It's Nina Oyama.
09:36So there's a cat in one of these bags, and I have to let it out?
09:44Is there, like, salsa in this bag?
09:46Okay.
09:50Oh, it's a bunny!
09:52That's not a cat!
09:53You can see it in some of the bags.
09:54I think I've seen in this one.
09:56Ooh!
09:57No, definitely not.
10:00Oh!
10:00Maybe we're in business.
10:01Oh, shit!
10:03Come on!
10:04Come on!
10:05Come on!
10:06Is this a cat?
10:10Oh, cool!
10:11How do you feel?
10:12I feel like I won this one.
10:15I feel like I might win this whole show.
10:19Right.
10:20Yeah.
10:21You're that confident just after this?
10:22Yeah, I'll bet you $50.
10:24$50.
10:25Good.
10:26Have a good day.
10:31You seem genuinely disappointed that you did well.
10:34Yeah, because I always think I'm going to fail,
10:36and then when I do okay, I'm like, what the hell?
10:38Like, that's not supposed to happen.
10:41Speaking of disappointment,
10:43I don't know how you'd feel spending hours putting different foodstuffs
10:46and different soft toys in bags
10:48only for someone to just look through the little hole in it.
10:51Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you...
10:56Stats?
10:59Nina opened two bags in total.
11:02Oh!
11:02All right, let's see some more cat hunting.
11:08Who have you got?
11:09It's Luke and Danielle.
11:11Okay, cat.
11:12Cat.
11:13It's not alive, is it?
11:15Are you kidding?
11:18What are you thinking?
11:19I was like, maybe there'd be something to give me a clue somewhere.
11:23Oh, right.
11:26That's a cat.
11:27That's a cat?
11:28Yeah, that's a cat.
11:29It doesn't look like it, but it's a cat.
11:31Oh, I didn't even think of that.
11:33They spell out something, right?
11:34They must spell out...
11:36Is that an arrow?
11:37Oh, no, you've just spelt cat.
11:38Oh, it's in the shape of a cat head.
11:40I'm going to go upstairs and look down.
11:42Maybe there's something I'm missing.
11:45It spells cat.
11:48And then there's a...
11:49Okay, okay, okay.
11:50Oh, that's an arrow.
11:51To this one.
11:57I think you'll find the cat is in this bag.
12:01Are you happy?
12:08Yeah.
12:09Yeah.
12:10Yeah, upstairs, I said, is it a big task?
12:12Because if it was a big task, I was going to go to the toilet.
12:14I'm done.
12:15So you didn't go to the toilet?
12:16No, I did.
12:17But I didn't even need to.
12:20Thank you very much.
12:21You're welcome, buddy.
12:21Here if you need.
12:28Jimmy and Nina, are you still feeling clever?
12:30Sorry.
12:32Did you remove the arrow for when I went up and looked on the roof?
12:36Damn it!
12:36No, the arrow was definitely still there.
12:39While you were walking all over it, playing hot and cold for no reason.
12:44Just out of curiosity, how many of you thought it would be a live cat?
12:47How many of you were looking for a bag that was just, like, wiggly?
12:52I thought just in case I should find it fast.
12:54You were worried about its safety?
12:57Yeah.
12:57Unfortunately, it was already dead and stuffed.
13:01Danielle, you were so quick when you did the tasks that we could include a minute of inane
13:06and chat about you going to the toilet or not.
13:08I was pretty good.
13:11So you didn't go, is that right?
13:12I peed before nearly every task, just in case, you know, because you never know if you need to go.
13:18But we shot, like, 12 tasks a day.
13:20Do you have a UTI?
13:21No, I've never had one because I keep it clean and flowing.
13:26Would you like to know how many bags were open?
13:28Yes.
13:29Luke opened four bags in total.
13:31Ooh.
13:32Danielle opened the cat on her first bag opening.
13:35Oh!
13:39So there must be one more left.
13:43Maybe they've done even better.
13:46Maybe.
13:47This contestant has the same first name as my eldest cousin.
13:50It's Julia Morris.
13:51Here we go.
13:53What am I doing?
13:53Stop mucking around.
13:54Oh!
13:55Oh!
13:56No, that's a seal.
13:57I feel like it's over here.
13:59Hang on.
13:59Does it say something?
14:02A-T-C-A-T.
14:04Someone has reached out to the shareholders today.
14:07That's a lot of bags, babe.
14:08Oh, here's a little sweetie.
14:09It's a monkey bag.
14:10Here we go.
14:11Oh, look at that.
14:13Oh, Lammy.
14:15Hey?
14:16I mean, it takes ages to get rid of them.
14:18I feel like there's a close-up over here that I can...
14:21get on board with.
14:22Sweet bear.
14:23It's another monkey.
14:24Have we got time to stop for a dronie?
14:26What's that?
14:30Dronies.
14:31Everyone's talking about them.
14:32I want to see if there's any rhyme nor reason to it.
14:35So, it doesn't feel like there is.
14:37Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
14:40Where's pussycat?
14:40Where's pussycat?
14:41It could be here, babe.
14:45The drone hasn't got it, has it?
14:48Another cat.
14:50Doesn't have the cat.
14:51Pussycat.
14:52Where would the cat be?
14:53That's an elephant.
14:55Bear bear.
14:55Broggy.
14:56Koala.
14:56It's a bear that has returned from war.
14:59Bear with no eyes.
15:00Grasshopper.
15:01Hi, Ducky.
15:01No.
15:03So, don't call it a snow leopard for nothing.
15:06I think that's a wombat.
15:08Hello, Lemmy.
15:08Koala bear.
15:09A red whale.
15:11Oh, you haven't got happy for this corner much.
15:14Here we go.
15:15Hello.
15:15Meow.
15:17Who's this?
15:18Who's this?
15:18Who's that?
15:19Oh!
15:20Oh!
15:23And as for you, one last dronie.
15:26How many people are cool enough for a dronie bait?
15:28That's you and me.
15:32I could happily watch you, Julia, waving cluelessly at a drone all day.
15:37I keep thinking, well, if the drone's flying, there's something to see from up there.
15:43Interestingly enough, you're only there for 20 minutes and four seconds.
15:46You took less time than Jimmy, but you opened way more bags.
15:51How many?
15:52How many did I open?
15:54You opened 71 bags.
15:58I mean, no wonder I was tired.
16:04In last place, I think we know who it is, with one point, Julia.
16:07Two points to Jimmy.
16:08Three to Luke.
16:09Four to Nina.
16:10And the winner of the task is Danielle with five points.
16:16All right, what's that done for our scoreboard?
16:18Leading this episode is Danielle with ten points.
16:20OK, onwards, it's the march.
16:26I'd like more tasks.
16:28OK, I suppose I'd better bring, bring, bring, bring you another one.
16:31All right.
16:50This is hanging and chilling.
16:51Call an older family member and make them hang up on you.
17:04If they suspect you want them to hang up on you, you will be disqualified.
17:10Fastest wins.
17:12Your time starts when they answer the call.
17:13Oh my gosh.
17:14This is, it's hard.
17:23Oh, excuse me.
17:26Oh, my girlfriend's calling and she says she'd like to see Nina and Jimmy.
17:32OK.
17:33Oh God, I really hope this works.
17:37Hello.
17:38Hi.
17:39Hi.
17:40Hello.
17:40Hi.
17:41Jimmy.
17:43Hello.
17:43How are you?
17:44That's a pleasant surprise.
17:46Hello.
17:49Hello.
17:51Oh, you keep coming out.
17:53Where are you?
17:54Just, I'm, plain.
17:58Oh, plain, are you?
18:0135,000 feet up.
18:03Oh, that's why you're cutting out.
18:06Are you in the toilet?
18:27Oh, you're in the toilet.
18:28Oh.
18:28Oh, my God.
18:28Oh, wow.
18:28Oh, my God.
18:33I'm kind of to see you now.
18:43Hello?
18:44i feel like
18:57how often you ring that relative
18:58would affect how quickly they would hang up
19:01is that someone you talk to often jimmy
19:02um yeah
19:03ela
19:04she's here
19:07is that the person you called
19:08that's my auntie she's here
19:09hi
19:10really
19:13O que você achou?
19:17Surprised when he called.
19:19Então eu rambled on about,
19:21oh, eu amo o meu book.
19:23Eu acho que nós estamos re-living
19:24o telefone call.
19:26O que você, Nina?
19:27Você fala com o meu irmão,
19:30que é minha família, e eu falo ela sempre.
19:32E ela disse, eu estava muito preocupada
19:34que você estava em danger.
19:35Mas ela disse, eu estava preocupada por um minuto.
19:37Então eu pensei, eu não tenho que ter que preocupada.
19:40E ela é aqui para não!
19:41Não, ela disse não quer que ele.
19:46Então, Jimmy achou a hang-up
19:48em 2 minutos e 25 segundos.
19:50Nina achou isso em 1 minuto e 8 segundos.
19:56Isso next contestant's
19:57phone number
19:58tem dois zeros,
19:59três, quatro, oito,
20:00cinco, sete,
20:01e dois nines.
20:02Mas não em que ela,
20:03aqui é a Dania Walker.
20:04Can't type in Nana
20:08It's going to be her actual name
20:11Hello
20:15Hello
20:17How are you?
20:21Hi
20:23Hi
20:25You there Dan?
20:31I can't do it. Hey Nana, I can't do this. I think Nana's worried. Hey Nana, I'm so sorry, I'm filming something. Sorry, I've got to be disqualified from that because I was stressed out and I was worried. My Nana would definitely think I was on drugs if I thought I was doing that. Okay, sorry Nana, I'll talk to you later. I love you.
21:01Hi Nana. I'm so sorry. That's okay. She seemed like she was freaking out. I knew I'd get like 35 calls from the family. You were making concerning noises. I know, why did I do that? That was the worst tactic. Oh boy.
21:17To be fair, you sounded like you were having a medical emergency.
21:26I was going to not say anything. And then as soon as Nana answered, I was like, I can't. I can't not say anything. And then I went off and I was terrified I was going to give her a heart attack.
21:39And then she'd call my mum and my mum would have a heart attack. And oh, I was so scared.
21:45Well, it's admirable how much you care about your family, but unfortunately it counts for nothing on this show.
21:51I think it's fair to say you're disqualified.
21:53We're not going to give her an extra point for being cute?
21:57Beep, beep, beep, beep.
21:58I've heard what the crowd thinks, and the answer's no.
22:08Alright, who's up?
22:09This next contestant loves phones so much, she has two, but won't tell me what the second one's for.
22:14It's Julia Morris.
22:17Okay, here we go.
22:18Oh, that's, hello, hello.
22:38Thank you.
22:43It's not a great task from me, output-wise.
22:46But it did the trick.
22:52I must say, themes emerging, Julia, you seem to do the best when you put in the least amount of effort.
22:57Oh, welcome to my career, Tom.
23:00I have watched it, and I have noticed that.
23:04I get the feeling that you bum-dial a lot of people, because they hung up so quick.
23:07I feel like that's happened to this person so many times.
23:10I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.
23:11I am turning 55 any second, right?
23:14So most of my older relatives are dead.
23:16And I thought, who can I call that's going to hang up immediately?
23:20So I called my agent.
23:27Her agent hung up after 17 seconds.
23:32Stayed on for a while.
23:34It's Last Call, everyone, and it's Luke McGregor.
23:37Okay, I'm going to call mum, because she's retired, so she'll probably pick up.
23:41Mm-hmm.
23:42And then I'll just try and wrap it up.
23:44Mm-hmm.
23:46Hi, dear.
23:47How are you going?
23:48Good.
23:48What are you up to today?
23:50Oh, just laying low.
23:52Not much loss happening here at the moment.
23:54Just looking up recipes on the computer.
23:57Oh, right, yeah.
23:58I mean, yeah, that sounds like something you've got to focus in on.
24:00And once you do that, you're like, I don't want anything to distract me.
24:02Well, I'm doing that, so.
24:05Oh, no.
24:05You're strapped away.
24:07Great.
24:08Are you just at home at the moment?
24:10How are you doing?
24:11Yeah, yeah.
24:11Just laying low.
24:15How did you date with the girl in Sydney go, by the way?
24:18Um, yeah, good, thanks.
24:21Uh, but, um, I'll see you in person.
24:24Well, what's the weather like up there at the minute?
24:26It's raining?
24:27It's pretty overcast.
24:31Yeah, over down here.
24:32Just got dark all of the sun's down here.
24:35So you'd rather just go out for dinner or for your birthday.
24:38You don't want us to get you something.
24:39No, just dinner with you guys.
24:41That is present or not.
24:42Don't have to burn all the conversation now either,
24:44because we've got to save it for that dinner.
24:46So, not that I want to get off the phone or anything, but, uh...
24:51There he is, that baby's cute.
24:54Celia's baby is cute, yeah.
24:56They've gone down so much, haven't they?
24:58Shares have gone down, yeah.
25:00And Avatar's coming out again.
25:01Really looking forward to seeing that one.
25:03Really?
25:03I mean, the first one, I didn't feel like it needed a sequel,
25:06but, um, anyway, don't want to get lost in the weeds on that one.
25:09You don't really see many 3D movies anymore.
25:12They don't sort of bring them out.
25:13Oh, sorry, Mum, I've just got to double-check something.
25:16I'm just going to mute you for one second.
25:18Can I tell them, like, can I say, like...
25:20Well...
25:21Can I do...
25:22It's up to the task, Mum, still.
25:23I can't...
25:23And, um, you know, they...
25:25They've got...
25:26I'm back.
25:28Did we break up to me?
25:29Oh, no, no, sorry.
25:30I was just checking how much better I had left.
25:33Um, uh, and I'm doing pretty good.
25:37Oh, good.
25:39Yeah.
25:39Sorry, I had my Facebook hacked the other week.
25:42Yeah, right.
25:43Did they post anything weird, or...?
25:45No, just...
25:46It was just sending out friends' requests.
25:48But it took me a while,
25:48because I couldn't remember what the password was, but...
25:51Well, don't...
25:51Don't say that loud.
25:52You never know who's...
25:53Who's listening, so...
25:54I can't...
25:55This will never stop.
25:58I'm not going to the game when I'm in Melbourne, though.
26:00Oh, yeah.
26:02It is, yeah.
26:02Been amongst the crowd.
26:03Yeah, it's just good being amongst all the crowd, isn't it?
26:10Oh, absolutely.
26:12Anyway, I'd like to let you go.
26:15Oh, yeah, okay, yeah.
26:16Yeah, no, if you have to go, you have to go.
26:19Thank you for talking to me.
26:20I really appreciate it.
26:22Thank you for ringing.
26:24Love you guys.
26:26Love you too, matey.
26:28Bye.
26:30Have a good weekend.
26:31You too.
26:33See you, dear.
26:34Thanks again for calling.
26:35No worries, Mum.
26:36Good talking to you.
26:37You too.
26:38Bye, sweetie.
26:39Bye.
26:45Oh, thanks.
26:47It's too loud.
26:54It's a, uh, it's a close race.
26:57The phone call went for exactly 20 minutes.
27:01I counted.
27:06You covered a total of 34 topics, including the share market, the weather, Wendy Harmer,
27:14what Luke wants for his birthday, and last year's Optus privacy breach.
27:17All right, we've got our times.
27:22How do they all score up?
27:23Oh, so Danielle has been disqualified.
27:25Luke receives two points.
27:26Jimmy with three.
27:27Four for Nina.
27:28So the winner of this task is Julia with five points.
27:30Thank you, Ted.
27:33Here's another task.
27:36Apologies in advance to any trees watching.
27:38I'm coming.
27:55Whoa.
27:56Hi, Julia.
27:58Hi, baby boy.
28:00Hi.
28:01G'day, mate.
28:05What's this?
28:06I want your paper.
28:07Shh.
28:09Do the bravest thing with this ream of paper.
28:12Bravest thing wins.
28:14You have 20 minutes.
28:16Your time starts.
28:17Now.
28:22All right.
28:23Memoirs.
28:24Let's go.
28:25No, I'm just kidding.
28:26Just so I've got some thinking time, let's make a paper airplane.
28:29See if you can go the furthest.
28:32Swimming with sharks, but only protected by paper.
28:35Do you have a shark?
28:36No.
28:37No.
28:37One, two, three.
28:42Eat shit.
28:44All right, now the task.
28:47You could argue that it was brave of Luke to allow himself to be filmed flying such a
28:53piece of shit at paper plane.
28:55Would you like to see what he did?
28:57Uh, yes.
28:57All right, I'll do you one better.
28:59Here's Jimmy and Luke.
29:02Is it just doing a brave thing holding a ream of paper?
29:05And that could be interpreted that way, couldn't it, really?
29:08Do the bravest thing with this ream of paper.
29:10What does bravery mean to you?
29:12Well, there's some of your fears.
29:14One of my fears is actually being, like, poked in the eye with a spoke of an umbrella.
29:19Has that happened to you?
29:19It was just a recurring dream that just happened.
29:21In the dream, it was like, poof.
29:23Mmm.
29:24You could be the gauntlet of umbrella spokes, and I could face my fears with this ream of
29:30paper.
29:30I guess if I wrapped my head in paper and I just went for a long walk, that would scare
29:34me.
29:35But is that brave to do that, or is that dumb?
29:37They're not mutually exclusive.
29:39Yeah, yeah.
29:40You could go crazy, and then we'll have one last one where, you know, like, Mission Impossible,
29:44where the knife that goes, like, near his eye?
29:46Oh.
29:46Like that?
29:47Yeah.
29:47Sorry, I'm thinking it might be fun to have obstacles on the way.
29:51Okay.
29:53Final boss?
29:53Final boss.
29:54Okay, let's wrap my head in paper, huh?
29:56Okay.
29:56So it's a busy city.
29:57It's just started raining, and everyone's getting their umbrellas out.
30:01Just draw a brave face on that.
30:02A brave face?
30:03But be quick about it, because we only got four minutes.
30:04Okay.
30:04Is that marker safe to breathe in?
30:12What does it say?
30:13It says Sharpie permanent marker, fine point, safe to breathe.
30:18Bullshit.
30:19Okay, so Tommy, you've got to leave me to the truck.
30:20Okay.
30:21And then I'll walk back into the caravan.
30:23Oh, this is a big one.
30:25Does he know where he's going?
30:26All right, don't tell me if I'm going to hit something.
30:28Okay.
30:28How much time do I get left?
30:29One minute and 19 seconds.
30:31One minute and 19 seconds?
30:32Oh, this sucks.
30:34This, okay.
30:36Oh, this sucks.
30:37I'm never going to make it.
30:38No, no, no, no.
30:40No, the wing's got it.
30:44Oh, my gosh.
30:46Thanks, Luke.
30:47Am I close?
30:48Kind of.
30:50Are you ready?
30:51Yeah, I'm a bit nervous, but it's okay.
30:53You feel like you're too close.
31:02Thank you, Tom.
31:08Luke, I feel like for you the bar was pretty low.
31:11Like, you seemed pretty easily frightened.
31:12At one stage you were scared of a texter.
31:15Well, the fumes were quite strong and I was worried that would be poisonous.
31:18So that was quite brave.
31:21Thank you.
31:22Now, I'd say that for most people, wrapping paper around your head and walking around the
31:26yard isn't that frightening.
31:28So it was more of an internal struggle.
31:30Yeah.
31:31Once I'd sort of breached in the fumes, I actually felt quite relaxed.
31:33So, Jimmy, you just kind of did something brave while holding the paper.
31:40Yeah.
31:40Well, all the information was in the task and that's, you just said, just with a ream of
31:45paper.
31:45To be fair, the paper did really have nothing to do with the task, but you are claiming
31:48it didn't have to be.
31:50But if I knew that, it would have been way easier to walk without my head covered in paper.
31:53Actually, that's true.
31:54You could have just held a ream of paper, sat down in a chair and been anxious.
31:58Whose paper bravery is up next?
32:04They're not a four, but they're both a force to be reckoned with.
32:08It's Nina and Julia.
32:1020 minutes.
32:11Have I got a printer?
32:12Yeah, I think we can get you a printer.
32:13I'd like a printer.
32:14Like, bravery to me is like vulnerability, which is kind of cringe now that I think about
32:20it.
32:20In terms of feeling really brave, talking about politics, I suppose.
32:25That's bravery?
32:26I think it is.
32:27I don't, so that feels super nervous to me.
32:30So I'm leaning into vulnerability.
32:33All right.
32:34I vote left wing.
32:40Wow.
32:40I've never said that out loud.
32:41Oh my God.
32:43What am I doing with my life?
32:46I need some rocks.
32:48I'm going to do what I stand for.
32:50Okay, well this feels pretty brave to me.
32:52I could throw up on the table.
32:53I think we should be a republic.
32:58Oh, let's try.
33:00You know I'm never going to be invited anywhere again.
33:03Wait, can you just like dump them like here and then can you get more rocks?
33:06Oh, right.
33:07Yeah.
33:07Yeah.
33:07I decided to go with like a very honest embarrassing message and now I'm regretting it.
33:12I should have just done something funny.
33:13No, I don't care.
33:15I don't care.
33:15Killing misogynists.
33:17Okay.
33:17Because that's probably too far, isn't it?
33:19I think the former government's caused a lot of damage that needs cleaning up.
33:22I really want to use the word.
33:24Oh my God, imagine if I just put my phone number.
33:27Like I'm self-aware about how cringe this is, but I just genuinely didn't have any ideas.
33:33My upper's rights.
33:35If the taskmaster disagrees, he's a rich white man.
33:40Here's some things that I stand for.
33:44Anyway, this is my last job.
33:46Just wanted to say I've really enjoyed my career.
33:48This is my bravest thing.
33:50Nina, was that a dronie?
34:01That was a dronie.
34:03Now, it was nice to see you being vulnerable.
34:05I think the audience always likes that.
34:07Yeah, that's why I did it.
34:08It's not because I ran out of ideas or anything.
34:11Would you care to elaborate on the heartbreak?
34:13I just went through a breakup and I just wanted to say something that was like vulnerable and relatable
34:18and like, I cry when I masturbate was too long.
34:24There you go.
34:25She's back.
34:27We were worried that you were going to be sincere there for a second.
34:30But you fixed it, didn't you?
34:32I really appreciate it.
34:33Because we're a comedy show.
34:36Julia, people at home will be so inspired by her.
34:39Just how brave you were as a woman who works in the arts being vaguely left-wing.
34:43I know!
34:45Do you know what?
34:46There's an interesting thing that happens, I think, with people who have been on television
34:49for a long time.
34:50Yes.
34:50You move from you care about the workers because you are, to I've got an investment property
34:55and I need to protect that, so that's going to change my politics.
34:58Right.
34:59I feel like you're mistaking this show for the project.
35:01OK, more ream-based bravery.
35:06Just one remaining?
35:07That's right.
35:08Plucky, courageous, fearless.
35:10These are all synonyms for brave, but whether they apply to our next consistent remains to
35:14be seen.
35:15It's Danielle Walker.
35:16I could write a list of my fears.
35:19What are you scared of?
35:20That you're a kanji jellyfish.
35:21Right.
35:22Or I don't like the way your centipedes move.
35:25I guess also it's pretty brave for me to go face to face with those geese as well.
35:29I might attack the geese.
35:30I'm going to go take these so I can quickly make a sword.
35:32I've got 20, how long do I have left now?
35:33About 14 minutes and 39 seconds.
35:35My mum's friend, Deb, her geese kept on killing all her chickens, like they were very aggressive,
35:39and so she offered to give them to my granddad.
35:42Do you fear your granddad's geese?
35:44Yes, because my nana said that they took a chunk out of the back of her leg.
35:47They attacked her, but she doesn't blame the geese.
35:49What bit of her leg?
35:50Just the, just the back.
35:52The calf.
35:53Yeah, the calf, I guess.
35:55OK, you ready?
35:56Yeah.
35:57Right, let's go.
35:59Honk, honk!
36:01What are you yelling?
36:02Honk, honk!
36:03Oh, I see.
36:04Honk, honk!
36:06Come over here so I can fight you!
36:08Honk, honk!
36:13Do you have any strategies for when you attack?
36:15Um, I'm just going to honk at them.
36:18Right.
36:19Honk!
36:20Ooh!
36:21This is getting real now, it's a bit spooky.
36:23Yeah.
36:23Honk, honk!
36:25Honk!
36:27Honk!
36:27Honk!
36:29Honk!
36:32Honk!
36:33Honk!
36:34Honk!
36:37Honk!
36:37Honk!
36:37I beat them.
36:39You beat them?
36:39Yeah, they fall away.
36:41OK.
36:42They bowed down to me.
36:43Thanks, Danielle.
36:46Honk!
36:46I feel like I could judge your attempt
36:51But I'd prefer to just hear more about
36:53A goose taking a chunk out of your grandma's leg
36:55How big was the chunk?
36:57Oh, like, that big?
36:59Like, I guess, like a 50 cent piece
37:01But circum...
37:01Geese size
37:02About size
37:03Well, you might think I'm going to judge you harshly
37:07But I've been attacked by geese as well
37:09It's frightening
37:10They're really coming at you
37:11They're going to tear you limb from limb
37:14Alright, well, I think Julia Morris I'm going to put on one
37:19Because I know that for you it felt really brave
37:22Yes
37:22For you to say that you were slightly left wing
37:24That we couldn't quite nail down
37:26No, it was worth completely losing my career for one point
37:29Absolutely, absolutely worth it
37:32Next up, I did think that geese are very frightening
37:34Danielle, you're on two
37:35Because I think you didn't get close enough to get genuinely scared
37:38They flew off before you really faced your fears
37:40I went down there with the intention
37:42And that was scary
37:45I think it was as scary as you looking at them at a zoo
37:48Yeah, so you're on two
37:50And then, Nina, I'm putting you on three
37:53Because you were vulnerable
37:55But was I brave?
37:56Uh, not really
37:57And Jimmy, I'm putting on four
38:00Even though you were just facing your fear holding some paper
38:03Rules are rules
38:04It satisfied the actual original task
38:06Even though it was disappointing
38:07And, uh, I just want to take a moment to say
38:10That I think that Luke was the bravest of all
38:12And, um, he faced the biggest fears that we all face
38:15And that is what's inside us
38:16So tell me, Tom, what does that do to our overall scores?
38:22In the lead, with 15 points, it's Nina Oyama
38:24It's clear what everyone has to do
38:30Let's head upstairs for a live task
38:31Tom, I'm deeply intrigued
38:37What's going on here?
38:38Uh, this live task doubles as catering for the cast
38:41Could you all please put on your mitts?
38:44Oh, okay
38:45They have, like, chopsticks in them
38:47That's correct
38:47Danielle, could you please read the task?
38:50Ha ha ha ha ha ha
38:51Do you need a hand?
38:53Do you need a hand?
38:54How about I break the thing?
38:56Get
38:56There we go
38:58Thank you
38:58Wearing your chopstick gloves
39:00De-pineapple the pizzas
39:02And put the pineapple in your bowls
39:05If you want a new pizza
39:07You may request one from Tom C
39:09By asking him accurately and politely in Italian
39:12The contestant with the most pineapple juice extracted wins
39:19Yes, sorry
39:21After the task is complete, we will be juicing your pineapple
39:26Great
39:26You have 120 seconds
39:29Your time starts when Tom C blows his whistle
39:31Tom, so, like, full Italian or, like, Chris Pratt as Mario?
39:35The accent is not a must, but the Italian must be accurate
39:40Okay, yikes
39:44Oh, yes
39:51Get off
39:52What are you doing?
39:54What?
39:55Excuse me, pizza, por favor, prego
40:01Por favor, what are you doing?
40:04Excuse me, pizza, grazie
40:10Grazie
40:12Hey
40:13Cashman
40:14Forza Italia
40:15Pizza, por favor, uno
40:18It's me wanting a pizza
40:20Oh
40:21Let's see
40:22Quick, quick
40:23Tom
40:24Get open
40:25Tom
40:26Tom
40:28Prego, prego
40:29Grazie
40:30This is the longest two minutes of my life
40:33Ander, pre pizza
40:35Andiamo, Tom Cashman
40:37Grazie
40:38Grazie
40:39Oh, sorry
40:40Alright, Tom Cashman is taking your pineapple juices to the lab for some testing and measuring
40:49We'll be back with the results soon
40:50Enough with the clapping, we've got points to award
40:56Five comedians sit before me holding five disgusting cups of pineapple juice
41:01Tom 2, talk us through the results
41:03So, Luke had nine mils
41:05Did you spill mine by accident?
41:08Nina had 30 mils
41:10She had so much bacon in her bowl that it clogged the juicer
41:13Next we have Danielle who had 32
41:17Julia had 64
41:19And then Jimmy had 70 mils
41:21Wow, babe
41:2470 mils of liquefied pizza
41:27I'm thinking I'm just going to play it on volume because I would hate to do a taste test
41:32Has that done any moving and or shaking of the scoreboard for the night?
41:36It sure does
41:37We have a tie
41:39For first place Jimmy and Nina on 17 points each
41:44That means the first tiebreaker in Taskmaster Australia history
41:50So the tiebreaker task is to clap as many times as possible in 60 seconds
41:58Let's see how Jimmy and Nina did
42:00Your time starts
42:02Now
42:04It's slowing down, I can't go quick
42:08Oh my god
42:10Count me down
42:11Six, five, four, three, two, one
42:15Ah!
42:18Ah!
42:20Right
42:22Okay
42:23Break the tie Tom
42:24So Jimmy had 352 claps
42:27There could have been more but some of them his hands didn't even touch
42:32But Nina is the winner with 372 claps
42:39Nina, warm up those fingers because you're about to touch five very satisfying things
42:44Get on stage, they're all yours
42:46There we have it, another episode complete
42:52Tonight we learnt that the best way to find a cat is to look for the sign with a big arrow next to it
42:57We learnt that umbrella spokes can kill and we also learnt every single detail about the everyday life and opinions of Luke McGregor's parents
43:05Most importantly our episode 2 winner is Nina, well done to them
43:11Give them a smattering of applause, but don't use all your energy
43:15We'll need that for next week when Taskmaster Australia returns
43:19Good night
43:21And then Brandon
43:29وبernersonic
43:31Be Shoes
43:33Thank you
43:35Pretty much
43:36Thank you
43:39Thank you
43:41We're really young
43:42Rosy
43:45And your
43:48Tchau, tchau.
Comente primeiro