- 4 hours ago
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CreativityTranscript
00:00The only thing better than a third cup of coffee, a fourth cup of coffee.
00:17Come on, we're gonna be late.
00:19Late for what?
00:20To meet Steve St. James.
00:22Who?
00:22Steve St. James.
00:24He was off-duty cop on the hit show Off-Duty Cop.
00:26That old TV show about the detective and his butler?
00:30Chauffeur.
00:30Why would a detective have a chauffeur?
00:32Because he was Steve St. James.
00:34The detective who couldn't let Justice sleep just because he was off-duty,
00:38so he had a chauffeur drive him around to make Justice not sleep.
00:41I need another cup of coffee.
00:45Come on, he's making an appearance at the mall.
00:47I can't. I got a doctor's appointment.
00:50What's wrong with you?
00:51Nothing. It's my yearly physical.
00:54When was the last time you got one?
00:55Never. I've never been to the doctor.
00:57I'm the picture of health.
00:59Oh, my hip.
01:14Ooh, ooh.
01:15What is that shooting pain?
01:17Ah, numbness.
01:19Tingling.
01:20Cramping.
01:21Thanks for inviting me, Daffy.
01:31Isn't it funny how you're always available, no matter how last second?
01:35And you never have other plans.
01:37Like you don't really have a life.
01:40Yeah, that is funny.
01:42Now, who's Steve St. James?
01:45Steve St. James.
01:46Off-duty cop.
01:48Give me your phone.
01:51When are you going to get a phone?
01:52Never.
01:53Cell phones are like doctors.
01:55The calling plans are confusing.
01:56The buttons are too small.
01:57Huh?
01:59Just watch this.
02:00Oh, is this the old show about the detective and his butler?
02:20Ugh.
02:21Show birth.
02:22Okay, I get it.
02:36I don't need to see anymore.
02:38You're missing it.
02:42Yeah, give it to him, Steve.
02:47Does he have to cut everyone he meets?
02:49How a little bit that long are these opening credits?
03:02Daffy, I get it.
03:03Give me my phone.
03:06So to answer your question, that's Steve St. James.
03:15Steve St. James.
03:17Wow.
03:17I'm your biggest fan.
03:19Well, thank you very much.
03:22Would you like a signed copy of my book?
03:25Nah.
03:25Books are like cell phones and doctors.
03:27Takes forever to get an appointment, and I don't have insurance.
03:30Will you sign my beak?
03:32I can't see it.
03:37Sign his face.
03:40Leslie Hunt?
03:42Who's she?
03:43I'm Leslie Hunt.
03:44You're Steve St. James.
03:46No.
03:47Steve St. James is a character that I played on TV.
03:50I'm Leslie Hunt.
03:52Who?
03:52I thought you said you were my biggest fan.
03:54I'm Steve St. James' biggest fan.
03:56And you're no Steve St. James.
04:00That's what I said.
04:01That's what I said.
04:04I need a cup of coffee.
04:06Well, if he's not going to be Steve St. James, then I will.
04:18Dabby, that's stealing.
04:20You'd make a great chauffeur.
04:21Hello.
04:34Don't say it.
04:35What's up, Doc?
04:36He said it.
04:37Are you okay?
04:39You seem a little jittery.
04:40Jittery?
04:41I'm not jittery.
04:42If anyone's jittery, you're jittery.
04:43I'm not jittery.
04:44So, do I have a clean bill of health?
04:48Everything looks fine.
04:50Great.
04:50See you next year.
04:51Oh, there is just one thing.
04:55I knew it.
04:56I knew you were hiding something.
04:57How long do I have?
04:58A year?
04:59A month?
04:59A day?
05:00Am I contagious?
05:01If I'm contagious, then those people need to know.
05:03You owe it to them.
05:05I'm highly contagious.
05:08Run for your life.
05:09Why didn't you tell me sooner?
05:14What kind of a doctor are you?
05:16You're probably not even a real doctor.
05:21Syracuse?
05:23That's a basketball school.
05:27I was just going to say that I think you should stop drinking coffee for a while.
05:33You have too much caffeine in your system.
05:36It's what's making you so tense.
05:38Oh, cut out coffee.
05:41No problem.
05:43You could probably just take this.
05:53All right.
05:54No caffeine.
06:03I'm sorry to bother you, but could I just have 30 seconds of your time to tell you about
06:08a product that could change your life?
06:17Sam.
06:18This product differs from other similar products because of its unique ingredients.
06:23I'm not interested.
06:25It's like coffee, but without the caffeine.
06:28What's like coffee?
06:30Spargo.
06:31While coffee leaves you feeling jittery, Spargo will leave you feeling rested and alert.
06:36When did you get into this racket?
06:38I needed money quick.
06:39They said they were going to take my house.
06:41I mean, I believe in the product.
06:47Tastes weird.
06:48Those are the sparkler berries.
06:52Wow.
06:52Could this be working already?
06:54I don't know.
06:55You won't catch me drinking that stuff.
06:57I'll take them.
06:58How many?
06:59All of them.
07:00Such king.
07:01I mean, it'll change your life.
07:20Where are we going, Daffy?
07:22I'm no longer Daffy.
07:24I'm Steve St. James, plough duty cop.
07:26And we're going wherever Justice is sleeping and needs to be woken up by me, Steve St. James, off-duty cop.
07:34So, are you to the edge?
07:35Just keep going straight?
07:38Pull over.
07:40No, park illegally.
07:44More illegally.
07:45Like you don't have time to play by the rules.
07:47Huh.
07:52Aren't you forgetting something?
07:54Oh, sorry.
07:56Will you marry me?
08:04Freeze!
08:07But he was...
08:08I know what he was doing.
08:09He was stealing your ring.
08:10And beautifully placing it in this elegant box.
08:13No, I was...
08:14Assaulting her.
08:15And that's a code nine.
08:17I might be off duty, but I'm not off my game.
08:22Looks like your meter's expired.
08:24Call me if you have any more trouble, ma'am.
08:27Day or night.
08:27Well, never before 11 a.m.
08:29And don't call after five.
08:30And also, when you call, it'll be my roommate's voice on the answering machine.
08:34I don't know how to change it.
08:35Also, I don't know how to access messages.
08:37So just keep calling.
08:38Anytime.
08:39Day or night.
08:39Between 11 and five.
08:41And not on weekends.
08:42Day or night.
08:43Day or night.
08:56Ay!
08:57Hey!
09:02Hey!
09:02Let's go.
09:32I have so much energy.
09:53What to do, what to do, what to do?
09:55It's oily, but I guess I could make dinner.
10:02Hmm, now what?
10:10Oh, there's that book I always wanted to write.
10:15The end.
10:21June, I don't think that's too early to put up Christmas decorations.
10:24Merry Christmas!
10:39Well, I'd say that was a solid day's work.
10:48Wherever Justice tried to sleep, we were there to wake it up.
10:52Good work, chauffeur.
10:53Are you sure the chauffeur doesn't have a name?
10:56Nope, just chauffeur.
10:57Why is your house covered in Christmas decorations?
11:05Isn't it always like that?
11:11Oh, hi.
11:12Hey, I hope you don't mind.
11:14I did a few things around the house.
11:15I painted the garage.
11:17I resurfaced the swimming pool.
11:18Oh, and I moved everything that was in your room into the kitchen.
11:21But if you don't like it, I can move it back no problem.
11:22I just have three hours left on the treadmill.
11:24But after that, I definitely can move your stuff back into your bedroom.
11:28Unless you want me to move it into the garage.
11:29I just painted it.
11:30Are you okay?
11:32Never better.
11:32Never, ever, ever better.
11:35Are you guys itchy?
11:42Huh.
11:43I like it.
11:44Closer to the fridge.
11:46Is it?
11:47So you're saying the chauffeur was in every episode.
11:49And they never gave him a name?
11:51I'll prove it to you.
11:57St. James, have your chauffeur bring the car around.
12:01He's a human being, Chief.
12:03He has a name.
12:04Brandon Steele.
12:06Use it.
12:07I do.
12:08Every time I address him.
12:11Oh, Brandon.
12:12Thank goodness you're here.
12:14Huh.
12:15That was a stupid episode.
12:16Have you guys seen any sparkles that still have sparkle in them?
12:19I'm all out of sparkle and I need some sparkle.
12:20You know what I mean?
12:22What is wrong with you?
12:23Nothing.
12:23There's nothing wrong with me.
12:26I gotta get more sparkle.
12:42Something tells me Justice is about to get a wake-up call.
12:46Where's the sparkles?
12:52He's gotta have it somewhere.
12:53Where is he?
12:54Here.
12:54I can see him somewhere.
12:55Where's the sparkles?
12:56Where is he?
12:58What in tarnation are you doing in my house?
13:01Oh, uh, I was just, uh, I figured I'd stop by.
13:05I saw the window was unlocked.
13:07It seemed like a great time to come over and hang out.
13:09Well, I thought I was the only one who broke into people's houses to hang out.
13:12Say, you know what goes well with hanging out?
13:14Spargo.
13:15Do you have any more spargo?
13:16I could really go for some spargo.
13:18Don't got no more.
13:19You bought it all.
13:20What?
13:20But I really need it.
13:22I said I don't got no more.
13:24Well, you gotta hook it up.
13:26I guess I could take you to my supplier.
13:29Let's go now.
13:30Fine.
13:31Let me throw on some jeans.
13:32I said now.
13:33I always knew Bugs was a criminal.
13:42Chauffeur, looks like we're going for a little drive.
13:51Hello, darling.
13:53You probably know me.
13:54I'm a spargo sales representative.
13:56We have a lot of sales representatives.
13:59Yeah, well, I bet you don't have a lot to sell a month's supply in one day.
14:05See that guy over there?
14:06The one talking to that plant?
14:08I moved one of the bedrooms into the kitchen, but I think it would look better in the garage.
14:11I just painted it.
14:12Well, thanks to him, your company's about to get rich.
14:16And so am I.
14:18Because I get four cents on every can.
14:21Freeze!
14:22You're all under arrest.
14:24Dessie, do not blow this deal.
14:25My name is Steve St. James, and you are coming with me.
14:30I'm not going anywhere without my spargo.
14:51Hey!
14:55Hyah!
14:57Hyah!
15:08Hyah!
15:16Hyah!
15:17Hyah!
15:18Hyah!
15:19I just want my Spargle!
15:29Put down the pen!
15:31Put down the stapler all right all over the pig's face!
15:33Why does everyone want it right on my face?
15:35Just give me my Spargle!
15:36Put down the pen!
15:37It's permanent ink!
15:39I said give me my Spargle!
15:41Put it down!
15:42I'm not leaving here until you give me my Spargle!
15:46I said put it down!
15:47It won't come off!
15:49This is a place of business!
15:56These are hard-working people who simply want to sell a quality product!
16:02What in tarnation is illegal about that?
16:07You're all under arrest!
16:12What's going on here?
16:14This whole operation's a scam!
16:16These things are filled with dangerous, highly addictive chemicals!
16:19But what about the Spargle-Berries?
16:24Somebody get that guy to a doctor!
16:28Am I under arrest?
16:30I'm just an innocent sales representative!
16:33Well, that all depends.
16:34Did you know you were selling a dangerous product?
16:35Thanks for helping out.
16:50I'll take it from here.
16:51Who are you?
16:53Steve St. James, off-duty cop.
16:56Arrest this one, too!
16:58What did I do?
16:59You've been impersonating a cop and handcuffing people all over town.
17:03What about him?
17:04He's been impersonating a chauffeur!
17:09That's not illegal.
17:11It's pathetic, but it's not illegal.
17:13Get this guy out of my face.
17:14I'm putting you down as a witness, so I'm going to need your name, too.
17:21It will be able to...
17:22Brandon?
17:23Still.
17:25I'm just going to put chauffeur.
17:28Huh.
17:28Well, the doctor says one cup of coffee a day can't hurt.
17:43Do you mind?
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