- 1 day ago
McHale and The Crew take in a young orphan girl, and go out of their way to make a happy home for her, on their island.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The End
00:30Up to there
00:32You handle
00:33They get past that line
00:35Then you call me
00:37Here
00:38Up to here I handle
00:42Hey watch that line you guys
00:44Watch it
00:47Hey somebody's been stealing my clothes
00:55Somebody been eating in my kitchen
00:57Hey somebody's been sleeping in my bed
01:01You three bears better start looking for Goldilocks
01:03Look
01:06What do you know
01:10Goldilocks
01:12With a dye job
01:14I'm so glad you're playing up here
01:18I did it
01:18It's good
01:19It's good
01:20It's good
01:21It's bad
01:22It's full
01:24I'm not it
01:24What is it
01:25It's cool
01:25It's cool
01:26It's good
01:27It's cool
01:27It's cool
01:27It's cool
01:28It's really cool
01:30You're not talking
01:31Shit
01:32I'm notç®—
01:32That's cool
01:33I snel
01:36Just look
01:37It's cool
01:38You're not going to die
01:38I'm not talking
01:39You're not talking
01:39I'm not saying
01:40I'm not talking
01:42all right honey now will you tell us your name i'm kim sue oh kim sue that's a nice name
02:08and where's your mommy and daddy honey i don't have any you mean you don't have any parents
02:16where do you come from sweetheart the big white boat oh the big white boat you mean uh the hospital
02:23ship honey oh yeah skip you remember it was pulling in here just as we left on our mission it had all
02:26those kids it was taken to the orphanage in new caledonia yeah uh but it pulled out about two
02:30days ago so what does uh hey skip uh we got a deserter on our hands please don't send me away
02:38please let me stay here i'll handle this um no kim sue uh you see uh this is a naval base
02:47and uh and uh well there's a war on and uh it's it's against regulations and uh
02:57how about it skip she can have my hut
02:59hold all of these off there guys no i'm sorry kim sue but you just couldn't stay here no why not
03:08you got me and i'm not supposed to be here skip you can't let them take it to an orphanage give
03:14her a chance skip she hasn't got a family so let's give her one yeah nine uncles about it skip
03:20well what are you standing around for start fixing up a room you you you you bunch of buckles
03:29oh come on group it's supposed to be a kid's nursery well the kid's gotta start sometimes huh
03:47taste good well there it is skip little boy blue cows the corn the whole thing
04:00hey uh mr parker could you get into the crib i want to check it for size
04:04oh yeah all right here let me help you there we go
04:07how's that mr parker yeah not bad pretty good
04:14uncle quentin can you come in and wash my back for me
04:18how about are you coming uncle quentin
04:23uh uncle quentin's busy right now honey uh but i'll tell you what i'll send an uncle chuck
04:30you got it me wait a minute i don't know anything about washing a girl's back no no no no look
04:35i i hate the pool rank chuck but uh uh come on get in there and that's an order come on come on
04:40come on come on let's go
04:42come on come on there give her that to her
04:48oh not me i hate water
04:50i'm waiting uncle chuck
04:52how about she's waiting she's coming honey coming come on come on let's go come on
04:56all right
04:57i'm waiting all right come on full speed ahead boy
05:11yeah
05:11go
05:12and then the two of them walked off
05:30we're happy and wrapped
05:33isn't that a cue
05:34do i have to go to sleep now uncle quentin
05:38oh sure it's a
05:40oh my goodness is it that late
05:43why it's nine o'clock already
05:44are you all going to sleep now
05:46oh sure you bet
05:49aren't we men
05:50aren't we men
05:51oh yes
05:52night
05:53night
05:54night
05:54night
05:55night
05:56night
05:57night
05:57good night sweetheart
05:58okay for about a gig it's a big crap game going on
06:28out of the main base
06:29yeah i guess so
06:30you can drop me off the office club i'll get my tie
06:32hey food how about it you babysit
06:34sure i'll be right back
06:35okay
06:36uncle quentin
06:37uh yes
06:39isn't everybody going to sleep now
06:42oh
06:42sure sure we are
06:45weren't we fellas
06:46yeah
06:47all tired
06:48good night kim so
06:51good night
06:53good night fellas
06:55good night fellas
06:57good night
07:00good night
07:01good night you bunch of uncles
07:17good night
07:18good night
07:19good night
07:20captain bingham
07:27what
07:28what is it carpenter
07:29you always have to sneak up on me like that
07:31what do you want
07:32what what
07:32i'm sorry sir
07:33but two officers from com fleet have landed
07:35and they're on their way up to see you
07:36com fleet
07:36oh fine
07:37as if i didn't have problems enough
07:39problems captain
07:40that's problems
07:41mikhail's island over there
07:42look at it
07:42completely dark over there
07:44you remember what happened the last time all the lights were out over there
07:48sir you don't think they're giving the nurses commando training again
07:52may i
07:52oh get your hand off the ground
07:54i don't know what they're doing over there
07:55all i know is i can't stand any more of this
07:57look at these guys
08:00they're nerve pills
08:01they're stomach pills
08:02they're sleeping pills
08:03i tell you
08:04mikhail's company's turned this whole base into a pill box
08:07a pill box
08:08oh that's very good sir
08:09oh shut up
08:11you think i'm here to entertain you or something
08:13captain binghamton
08:14we're from the chief medical officer staff
08:17i'm commander carmichael
08:18this is lieutenant plowright
08:20oh sir
08:20i say it's my aid lieutenant carpenter
08:22oh lieutenant
08:23our orders sir
08:25oh your orders yes
08:26you're a um
08:29oh you're a psychiatric team
08:32that's right captain
08:33we're conducting a survey of the forward areas
08:35checking all personnel for combat fatigue nervous tension
08:38anything that might require hospitalization and or transfer
08:42oh oh is that what you're doing
08:44you're checking for all those things
08:46uh uh combat fatigue
08:48well i'm glad to have you there
08:51uh lieutenant carpenter will find your quarters in the um
08:54in the hospital in the morning
08:55you get out for a nice fresh start
08:56thank you thank you very much captain
08:58i see you
08:59carpenter
09:01lieutenant carpenter
09:02yes sir
09:03i must be slipping
09:05did you hear what they said
09:06they said
09:07hospitalization and or transfer
09:10well that's right sir
09:11oh i don't think you have anything to worry about sir
09:13no i don't
09:14me you nitwit
09:15i wasn't talking about me
09:16get me my boat
09:17and get me those medics
09:18we're gonna pay a visit to mikhail's island
09:20mikhail sir
09:21you know if we're very lucky
09:24we can catch those nitwits
09:26in one of their daffy stunts
09:27and if we're very very lucky
09:29maybe we can get them all a gang section eight
09:31oh you're gonna see some kooks you are
09:41i wouldn't believe half the things that go on over here
09:44you allow them to live on their own little island
09:46frankly gentlemen i look upon it more as sort of an isolation ward
09:51it seems very quiet captain
09:53i don't see anything going on
09:55hmm that's because you don't know mikhail
09:59you see when nothing is going on
10:02that's when something's going on
10:05follow me
10:07oh and not
10:08tippy-toe
10:09uh-huh
10:23you see that
10:24and that's not all
10:26big
10:37but they're sleeping
10:39sleeping
10:40don't be silly
10:409 30 at night
10:42off duty on their own time
10:43i tell you there's something wrong
10:45mikhail
10:47mikhail wake up
10:48wake up mikhail
10:48wake up
10:49anything you say sugar
10:51hey captain binghamton
10:53captain binghamton
10:55binghamton
10:57as you were
11:00oh yeah
11:01all right mikhail
11:09what's going on
11:11well uh
11:12you can see for yourself
11:14i
11:14who are sleeping
11:15i think
11:16mikhail
11:16you're not fooling me for a minute
11:19and these two gentlemen with me
11:21they're psychiatrists
11:22and they can see through you just as clearly as i can
11:25psychiatrists
11:27let's just say we're a medical team making a survey on combat fatigue
11:33you'll find no fatigue here sir
11:35we get a lot of sleep here
11:36don't we chuck
11:37oh yeah
11:38we sleep all the time
11:40want to see me drop off
11:41it's very obvious to me
11:43something is going on here
11:44let's just have a look for ourselves
11:46captain you can't wake up the crew
11:51they had a tough day
11:53oh the crew
11:55that's where the body's hidden
11:57huh
11:57huh
12:01ah
12:02what'd i tell you
12:03they're sleeping too
12:04oh mikhail
12:07you'd better have a good explanation for this
12:10well uh
12:12how about uh
12:13they were tired sir
12:14captain binghamton
12:16don't you think we ought to return to the main base
12:18ah that's a good idea
12:19me and parker would like to get some sleep sir
12:22yeah i'd like to see who gets me
12:23betty grable or lana turner
12:24wait
12:25if i could get rid of me
12:27wouldn't you mikhail
12:27or i'm gonna get to the bottom of this
12:29captain please
12:30please
12:31we can talk about this in the morning
12:32tomorrow morning sir
12:34yes sir
12:34i tell you
12:38something is going on
12:39you may be right captain
12:40but perhaps this isn't the right time
12:429 30 at night
12:43those cutthroats wouldn't go to bed at 9 30
12:46unless they were sick
12:47and i tell you they are sick
12:48they're sick
12:49sick
12:50sick
12:50nighty night captain
12:52you're not gonna get away with this mikhail
12:54i'll be back
12:55i'll find out what all this sleeping is about
12:57can't we give the kid a break skip
13:04be reasonable
13:05come on skip
13:06have a heart
13:07hold it
13:08where do you hold it
13:09i want kim sue here
13:10just as much the rest of you guys
13:12but is this any way to bring up a kid
13:14teaching her how to run for the hills
13:16every time she sees a boat coming
13:17but it'll be worse if we give it to binghamton
13:19he'll just turn her over to that orphanage
13:21yeah that's no place
13:22yeah
13:22peace off
13:23peace off
13:24will you
13:24who said anything about turning her over
13:26well skip you just said
13:27all i said was
13:29that this is no place for a kid
13:31so we do the next best thing
13:33we find her a home
13:35a home
13:35well sure
13:36chief with tower over in the village
13:38must know some nice young couple
13:39who just love to adopt a sweet thing like
13:41like kim sue
13:42hey
13:43that's a great idea
13:44and we can still get to see her
13:45yeah and she should be happy there
13:47that's marvelous
13:47look look look
13:49all i say is this
13:50don't say anything about it to kim sue
13:52because i don't want to build an upper hopes
13:54until i find out
13:54uh archway
13:55here comes the head kick
13:56hi honey
14:01uncle quentin
14:02yeah
14:02you promised to help me build a mud castle
14:04a mud mud castle
14:06oh well um
14:07uh well i gotta go somewhere honey
14:09uh besides uh
14:10uncle chuck's in charge today
14:12uh oh uncle chuck
14:13uncle chuck
14:14oh skip a mud castle
14:17there you are sir
14:18i uh
14:19always remember what i told you
14:21command is a dirty job son
14:23come on uncle chuck
14:26don't forget two parts water
14:31one part sand
14:32and we'd like to be your sister brother dad and mother too
14:47pretty baby
14:50pretty baby
14:53condition red
14:55condition red
14:56chapter binghamton's coming
14:57binghamton
14:58boy the skipper isn't back yet
14:59well i don't panic
15:00all right now you take kim sue and head to the hills
15:03the rest of you guys follow me and act natural
15:05come on kim sue
15:10good afternoon captain
15:29everybody
15:30hi mikhail
15:32uh well uh
15:33he's not here right now sir
15:35oh where is he and turn around when i'm talking to you
15:37what in the blue pacific is that
15:43what is what
15:44start
15:46oh this
15:47well uh
15:48well good
15:50not with it mr parker what are you doing with that doll
15:53uh
15:54doing with the
15:55well it's my
15:56it's mine
15:58it's your doll
16:00yes sir
16:01you mean
16:02you play with doll
16:04it does keep them off the street sir
16:06mr parker i think we should all go into your quarters and have a little talk
16:10yes parker let's go in your quarters and have a little talk
16:13my quarters well uh it's such a beautiful day why don't we stand out here and talk
16:16get a suntan at the same time
16:17he's a little pale
16:18parker you'll hide the doctors now go on inside
16:20go ahead gentlemen
16:21have a good look at him
16:22and little boy blue
16:37boy blue
16:38yeah you see he's asleep and the cows are out in the corn
16:42he's asleep in the crib
16:43uh yeah well i used to have a lot of trouble sleepwalking but boy this sure cured it
16:49parker you stop that
16:50you tell us what this is all about
16:52you see there was a
16:53uh
16:55jacks anyone
16:58don't you play
17:00well there it is sir
17:05release and transfer of instant pockets of the hospital at new caledonia
17:08the medics are on the way to pick them up right now sir
17:11oh i wish this was for mikhail and the whole crew
17:13you know frankly this puzzles me
17:16that parker is so naive he's so simple
17:19i thought he'd be the last to crack
17:21but sir it is a step in the right direction
17:23i guess you're right carpenter
17:25from little acorns giant redwoods bloom
17:28oh by the way sir
17:31this message just came in from that hospital ship that stopped by
17:33it seems that one of the little war orphans who was on board is now missing
17:36and they'd appreciate it very much if we'd look for her here at tarotuba
17:39child here at tarotuba that's nonsense absolute nonsense with a child here we'd see the child here wouldn't we
17:46we'd see some trace of her
17:48the dog parker shack dressed up like a nursery those cutthroats in bed at 9 30 at night
17:59carpenter they're kidnappers that's what they are they're kidnappers
18:05oh mikhail has fulsome dastardly deeds in his day but this is the saturday end
18:09but what would commander mikhail would i don't know what mikhail those pirates have up their sleeves but i'm going to find out carpenter i think that our little acorn just blossomed into a big redwood
18:20but i don't want to leave all of you
18:25don't you like me anymore
18:27well sure we do honey we love you honest
18:30but that's why we want to do the right thing for you
18:33and the holocais are really wonderful people
18:35that's right dear and having your own parents is sure a lot better than having nine broken down uncles
18:40uh-oh here comes trouble it's the medics
18:42hey the medics the medics hey they've come to take me away
18:45i'm not supposed to be packing my gear
18:46we're in a blaze of the holocais
18:48look i'm gonna take kim su and go out and look for that couple
18:52now i know it's been rough on you but
18:53stall those medics will you
18:55do whatever you can but stall them i don't care what you do
18:57here play cowboys and indians
18:59come on you guys
19:00let's go medics
19:01come on
19:02let's go
19:18uncle quentin
19:23oh sweetheart
19:24i'll miss you all so much
19:26oh
19:27well now don't you worry we're you're not gonna be that far away
19:32we'll come see you often i promise i really promise
19:35oh thank goodness
19:37hello mr and mrs halakai
19:39good to see you
19:41sorry sorry we are later mr oh that's all right how are you
19:44yeah kim su i want you to meet mr mrs halakai
19:49hello
19:49oh come on now kim su come on that's no way to meet these fine people
19:54come on sweetheart
19:55here's your mother goose book
19:58oh
19:59yeah
20:00oh parker
20:02you forgot your doll
20:04you can't let him take mr parker
20:06come on let's get in the act
20:08what are you doing with my doll
20:10what do you mean you're a doll that's mine
20:12that's my doll backstay
20:14hey
20:14hey you get my mother goose book you nasty boy
20:17hey i love my bird
20:18all right you men you cut that out
20:29cut it out cut it out
20:30can't hurt
20:31now your little game is over where is the child
20:33child
20:35yes child commander this is not a case of combat fatigue
20:38this is a case of kidnapping
20:39kidnapping
20:41you hurt me
20:41where is mikhail and the child
20:43never mind i'll find them myself
20:45doctor you come with me bring the other doctor with you
20:47oh carpenter
20:48you stay here in case mikhail shows up with the child
20:52aha
20:56mikhail
20:57oh hey you were looking for me sir
20:59how am i looking for you
21:01this child is a war orphan under the jurisdiction of the navy
21:04that's another charge besides kidnapping
21:07unauthorized interference with naval affairs
21:10oh come on now captain
21:11these offer will you
21:12all we are trying to do is to find a home here for kim sue
21:15and we have found them
21:16these people want to adopt her
21:17she is a ward of the navy
21:19and i would advise you to stop worrying about her
21:21and start worrying about your court marshal
21:24please captain binghamton
21:25this is all my fault
21:27don't be mad at uncle quentin
21:29oh uncle quentin
21:31young lady you get your things you're going with me
21:34and that's an order
21:35excuse me sir
21:37come on with me sweetheart
21:38uh would you wait for me over there please
21:40thank you
21:42well i'm sorry honey
21:55we tried our best
21:57now don't you worry
22:00you go over to uncle chuck's hut
22:03and get your things
22:04you meet me back here
22:07mikhail
22:28how about parker and the doll
22:32you mean it was all just a joke
22:34oh of course it was commander
22:36he's just as normal as any one of us
22:38i see
22:39well that's a tough wreck mikhail
22:42i can understand now what you men tried to do
22:44i've got children of my own
22:45and now you know our captain
22:48got a heart like lead
22:51how gone it all he does is go by the book
22:53go by the book
22:54i wish there was some way i could help
22:57hey uh
23:00did you really mean that
23:04sure
23:04oh
23:05well now listen
23:07if he can go by the book
23:08why uh
23:09you're a navy psychiatrist right
23:10maybe you can throw
23:12a few pages at him
23:14huh
23:14you know what i mean
23:15i think i begin to get the idea
23:19i guess you won't be needing us anymore
23:28so we'll get back and start preparing our reports
23:31including the one on you
23:33that's a good idea
23:34why don't you just go on back
23:36and start preparing your report
23:37what do you mean the one on me
23:38well sir
23:40we do have to file a report on any evidence of odd behavior
23:44what are you talking about odd behavior
23:46well sir
23:48for instance your insistence
23:49that these men were doing strange things
23:52when they were only sleeping
23:53does show signs of a persecution conflict
23:56i don't know what you're talking about
23:58i'm perfectly normal
23:59well i wouldn't say that captain
24:01a normal man would want a child like this to have a happy home
24:04whoever said that i don't want her to have a happy home
24:08i never said
24:09it's just that naval regulations say
24:10that uh
24:11with the rig and they've uh
24:13and they
24:13does she have to keep looking at me like that
24:17when i'm talking to you
24:18i i don't want to be unreasonable about this thing
24:23it's just that the
24:24um
24:25well maybe we we could cut through some of the red tape
24:30and arrange for a speedy adoption
24:32oh thank you uncle binghamton
24:34no no no honey
24:36uncle wally
24:36here give him a big hug
24:37uncle wally
24:39uncle wally
24:41he didn't make it
24:42thank you
24:42thank you
24:42thank you
24:43thank you
24:43thank you
24:43thank you
25:07thank you
25:13thank you
25:14thank you
25:26my
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