- 1 day ago
Binghamton needs help from Chief Urulu, who refuses, but after lessons on Democracy, Urulu changes his mind and drives a hard bargain.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The End
00:30No wonder driven few miles, no motor
00:37Of course there's no motor
00:39This way you're never run out of gas
00:40If you're dealing with schnook
00:42But make it go
00:44Simple
00:45Step out of the way, Chief
00:47This thing is a speedy vehicle
00:48Spears, men
00:50Saddle up, right in there
00:52Tight
00:54Bush
00:55All right, men, give it the foot brake
01:00There you are
01:02No engine ping, no oily sludge
01:04No sticky valves, real economy performance
01:07Hey, look at these extras
01:08Including air conditioning
01:10I tell you, Urulu, it's a steal
01:13No care how you get it
01:15Okay, we got deal
01:17You got?
01:18I got
01:18Tim get bracelets
01:20Beads
01:22Urulu get cheap
01:23All extras
01:24All right, all right
01:26What's going on here?
01:27Hello, Urulu
01:28What's going on, Gruber?
01:29What are you, starting to use car lot or something?
01:32Just make a little deal, Skipper
01:33Oh, yeah?
01:35I can just see it now
01:37Honest Lester, the laughing Lithuanian, huh?
01:39Yeah, look, this Jeep is government property
01:41You can't sell it
01:42That's against regulations
01:43Article 17, paragraph 4
01:45Or is it section 4?
01:47It's either article or section 4
01:48Yeah, yeah, all right, all right, all right, Chuck
01:50Now, look, Gruber
01:51I don't mind little honest petty larceny
01:53But I think you're getting in way over your head
01:55This is all Captain Binghamton's waiting for
01:57Skipper, it's just an old broken down piece of junk
02:00What?
02:01That runs like a charm
02:03That'll run
02:04We make deal, McHale
02:06This mine
02:07He's right, Skip
02:18Honest Lester
02:19I can't go back on my word
02:20Yeah, yeah
02:21All right, tow it out of here
02:23But if Binghamton knew about this
02:26I can just hear what he'd say
02:27He'd say you're all under arrest
02:29Yeah, you're all under arrest
02:30No, no
02:31Yes, yes, here you are
02:33Stealing and selling Navy property, Carpenter
02:36Sir
02:37I do believe I've died
02:38And gone to that last big court-martial in the sky
02:41I do believe I've died
02:47I do believe I've died
02:48I do believe I've died
02:49I do believe I've died
02:50I do believe I've died
02:51I do believe I've died
02:52I do believe I've died
02:53I do believe I've died
02:54I do believe I've died
02:55I do believe I've died
02:56I do believe I've died
02:57I do believe I've died
02:58I do believe I've died
02:59I do believe I've died
03:00I do believe I've died
03:01I do believe I've died
03:02I do believe I've died
03:03I do believe I've died
03:04All right, you enlisted men, you're confined to your quarters under arrest.
03:26McHale Parker, you come with me.
03:28Unhand me, I'm a war veteran.
03:30Come on, Captain, I can explain this.
03:32So all we're trying to do is promote goodwill with the natives.
03:35Just keep them happy, that's all.
03:36Well, that's right, sir.
03:37You know the old saying, a happy native is a tight native.
03:40Oh, wait, that's a ship, tight ship.
03:43Oh, knock it off, a happy native is a tight native.
03:46All right, Halloween face, get out of that jeep.
03:49Get back up in those hills where you belong.
03:51And don't you try putting one of those stupid voodoo curses on me.
03:56I make deal.
03:58Jeep mine.
03:59Get your grubby hands off of that Navy property.
04:01This now a rural property.
04:04I make deal.
04:07You know what you can do when you deal, you thatch head.
04:12Don't scare me.
04:13Not for a minute, you don't scare me.
04:14Not for a minute, you don't.
04:16Now get moving.
04:17If I catch you around here again, I'm going to throw you in the brig.
04:19And I'm going to paint a PW on your big fat veranda.
04:23Can do, McHale?
04:25Can do.
04:26You'll bet your pierced ears I can.
04:28Now get moving.
04:29You're going with them.
04:37All right, McHale, you come to the boat with me.
04:39You too, seaman third class, Parker.
04:42Oh, I beg your pardon, sir.
04:44I'm an ensign.
04:44You see, these gold bars mean that I've been to officer's school.
04:46And, well, when you go to, uh, can I keep them in class range?
04:55Oh, tiptoe to the window, by the window, me, oh, Elroy.
05:01Would you type up those court-martial charges so their prisoners could read them and sign them?
05:05Oh, yes, sir.
05:06Mm-hmm.
05:06Oh, and, Elroy, I sent an official notice to Chief Yerulu.
05:10Tell him if he ever shows his stomach around here again, I'll use it as a toe target for gunnery practice.
05:17Sir?
05:19Well, anything I can get you, McHale.
05:21Cigarette, blindfold.
05:22We are all hot.
05:24If you don't mind, sir, you can get me a lawyer.
05:27A lawyer?
05:28Boo!
05:28Boo!
05:28You know a lawyer named Boo?
05:37Captain Binghamton here.
05:39Binghamton?
05:40This is Admiral Reynolds.
05:41Oh, yes, sir.
05:42Yes, sir, Admiral Reynolds.
05:43Yes, sir.
05:44Good morning.
05:46I want you to ask very carefully.
05:48Yes, sir.
05:50Boo, a stupid, ridiculous thing.
05:53What's that?
05:54Uh-huh.
05:54Oh, I was talking to my foot, sir.
05:56I mean, I was talking to my, uh, orderly here.
06:00Pay attention.
06:01This is urgent.
06:02That airstrip you have on Tarotoupa, is it in good condition?
06:05Uh, it's perfect, sir.
06:06It's perfect.
06:07I want it lengthened to accommodate a squadron of B-17s.
06:11They'll land at 0600 on the 24th.
06:13See that it's ready.
06:15Uh, well, that doesn't give me much time, Admiral.
06:17My construction crew is on, however, it's on a footy there on a, on a TD over there.
06:23So what?
06:24You've got hundreds of natives down there.
06:26Use them for labor if you have to.
06:28And, uh, speak to that, uh, chief.
06:30What's his name?
06:31Oh, uh, that's, uh, Rulu.
06:33You're on good terms with him, aren't you?
06:35Oh, yes, sir.
06:37We're very close.
06:38Then get that airstrip ready.
06:40And I don't have to remind you of the consequences.
06:43Thank you, sir.
06:44Goodbye.
06:51Here are the court muscle papers, sir.
06:53Thanks.
06:58Dream of my life.
07:00McHale behind bars.
07:02Oh, I'm so happy.
07:03I'm so gay.
07:05It's a cruel world.
07:07But I don't understand, sir.
07:09Oh, it's orders from the Admiral.
07:10I need the help of that slob, Rulu.
07:14And I can't get his help without the help of that slob, McHale.
07:19Somebody up there hates me.
07:20I mean, I just don't have to...
07:21Oh, it's all right.
07:28I have to put up a piece of paper.
07:29Sir, you...
07:31Get out!
07:36Oh.
07:37Oh, what's the matter, sir?
07:39Oh, hello, boys.
07:40I, uh, I didn't know you were still out here.
07:42I'm sorry.
07:43I wouldn't want to keep you waiting like that or anything.
07:45Now, what was that you wanted to see me about again?
07:47Oh, really nothing, sir.
07:49It's just a small matter of a court-martial, life imprisonment.
07:55All that.
07:57Well, I want you to know, I'm just a big enough man to forget all about that.
08:01After all, if you're going to be a leader of men, you've got to be fair and just, you know.
08:04I didn't get to be a captain for nothing.
08:05Oh, that's right, sir.
08:07Uh, just what was the reason?
08:10That's cute, Parker.
08:11Cute.
08:12The point is, I'm willing to overlook the whole thing.
08:14I think we should work closer together instead of far apart.
08:17After all, there's a war on.
08:19You mean besides the one between you and me?
08:22Love your humor.
08:25Love it.
08:26How about it?
08:27We're going to work together?
08:30Well, if you say so, sir.
08:32Now, if we're free to go.
08:34Oh, yes.
08:34By all means, you're free to go, boys.
08:36It's just one, uh, one little thing.
08:38Uh-huh, duck, Parker.
08:40Here comes the boom.
08:42Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm okay.
08:44McHale, this request is not for me.
08:45This is for the war effort.
08:47You see, I've got to extend my airstrip to accommodate B-17s.
08:50I've got just three days to do it, and I'm shorthanded.
08:53Oh, well, I don't give you much time.
08:55You can count on me and my crew to pitch in.
08:57McHale, if I had all of the crews, I'd still be shorthanded.
09:02I'm afraid I need Chief Urulu and his natives to help me.
09:06Ha-ha, so that's it, Urulu.
09:08Hey, look, if I know this guy, he's probably making Captain Binghamton voodoo dolls and
09:12sticking pins in them.
09:13Yeah, all over the place.
09:17Clever.
09:20Well, I'll see what I can do.
09:22Well, I'll tell you one thing, though.
09:23You're going to have to give him back that Jeep.
09:24Oh, give him the Jeep.
09:25Oh, my goodness, just give him the Jeep.
09:26Give him anything.
09:27Give him anything he wants.
09:28The important thing is, we've got to get those natives to work.
09:30Now, you can do it, Quentin.
09:32So can you, Chuck.
09:32So you get out there and get going.
09:34You can count on us, Wally.
09:45Halt, one, two.
09:48Hi there, Chief.
09:49What are you doing here, McHale?
09:51Well, I came to bring you your Jeep.
09:53And to tell you that the big boss apologizes.
09:55Yeah, he wants to be your friend.
09:57Have him for friend, no need enemies.
09:59Oh, come on.
10:00Now, you've got Captain Binghamton all wrong.
10:02Why, he's a great guy, isn't he, fellas?
10:04I said he's a great guy, isn't he, fellas?
10:07Oh, sure.
10:08Peach of a guy.
10:09Hey, his aces with me, sir.
10:11Call me Chuck.
10:12Urulu still thinks something rotten in Denmark.
10:16Whatever that is.
10:18Oh, well, that's anabolic seat, Chief.
10:19Boy, they raise great cheese, sir.
10:20Now, wait a minute.
10:22Look, Urulu, you trust me, don't you?
10:24Well, when I say he wants to be your friend, he wants to be...
10:27He wants your people to work for him.
10:28Oh, no work for him.
10:29No work for him.
10:30Bad medicine.
10:31Well, now, wait a minute, Chief.
10:32This isn't like working just for the big boss.
10:34This is for something that's bigger than all of us.
10:36That's right.
10:37This is for the war effort.
10:38This is for democracy.
10:39Yeah.
10:40Oh.
10:41What democracy?
10:43Well, it's all in your history books.
10:46Oh.
10:47Well, it started with the pilgrims, you see, at Plymouth Rock.
10:49Now, they started raising these turkeys.
10:52Him some kind of nut?
10:55What he means is that, well, democracy is a way of life, you know?
10:59It's like when the Japanese come.
11:01You and your people are prisoners.
11:03But when the Americans come, you do whatever you like.
11:07Have freedom.
11:08Isn't that right, fellas?
11:09Oh, yeah.
11:10Do whatever you like.
11:11Sing, dance, pull, Jeeps.
11:13Enterprise?
11:14He means free enterprise.
11:16What free enterprise?
11:18Well, that's the right to work and earn as much money as you want.
11:23Fondo, fondo.
11:26Make much money?
11:28Oh, that's right.
11:29Much money.
11:30Hmm.
11:31Free enterprise.
11:31Not bad.
11:33What did you say, Chief?
11:34Hey, will you work for the big boss?
11:36Oh, Lulu, think it over.
11:38He come here, we talk.
11:39I'll go get him right away, huh?
11:41Come on, boys.
11:41Say it, Parker.
11:42Excuse us, Chief.
11:44Oh, that was a great idea, the bitch in that democracy, boy.
11:48I want you to stay here and keep it up.
11:49I don't want a ruler to cool off.
11:50You understand?
11:51Right, Skip.
11:52He'll be as American as hot dogs by the time he gets back.
11:54Good, good.
11:55Oh, could you make that Hamburg's hot dogs?
11:57Give me a heartburn.
12:02Hey, how much better is this thing?
12:13Must have been out of my mind letting you talk me into this.
12:16No!
12:19You almost hit me with this thing.
12:21Oh, hi, Lulu.
12:23Your friend, Captain Binghamton, came over to pay a friendly visit, didn't you, sir?
12:28Yeah, friendly.
12:30Yeah, sir, you couldn't help that, could you, Dad?
12:32Mr. Friend, how are you, friend?
12:34I'm sorry, sir.
12:35I guess we should have put in a crosswalk.
12:37Well, then.
12:38Crosswalk, you pea-brain.
12:40I ought to...
12:41Not yell at Parker.
12:43He my friend.
12:45He's all about democracy.
12:47America.
12:48I like.
12:48I tell my people.
12:51Atta boy, Chuck.
12:52All right, Chief, you and I haven't got anything much to say to each other.
12:55It's just that I can use all your natives.
12:57I'll use them at the standard native rate for labor, 50 cents an hour.
13:00All right, now get out of the jeep, get them together, let's go.
13:03We not through.
13:05Fondo, Fondo.
13:08Well, uh, what do you mean, uh, Lulu?
13:10Uh, this for democracy, right?
13:13Right.
13:13Him management, me labor.
13:15We bargain good union contracts.
13:20Union contracts?
13:21You really filled them in, huh?
13:23Well, I told you you could count on me, Skip.
13:25What are you talking about?
13:26Is this some sort of a joke?
13:27What, what, what, what, what?
13:28No, no, no.
13:29Let's not lose them now, Captain, huh?
13:31All right, you finger-painted John L. Lewis.
13:36What do you want?
13:38First, fringe benefits.
13:42Fringe benefits?
13:43Every hour, 10-minute coconut break.
13:46You supply coconut.
13:48Oh, I don't believe this.
13:50All right, a coconut break.
13:54All right, now get your people together.
13:55Uh, next, group insurance.
13:59Insurance?
13:59What did you tell them about?
14:00No, no, no, no, no, Captain, there's nothing wrong with group insurance, sir.
14:04No.
14:05No.
14:05All right.
14:07What about group insurance?
14:08Man hurt on job, you pay.
14:11You go to which doctor of choice?
14:16Oh, I know.
14:17I'm at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.
14:19Where's Alice?
14:20Uh, Alice?
14:21I haven't seen her all day, sir.
14:22Uh, any of you men seen Alice?
14:23Oh, shut up.
14:23Any of you men seen Alice?
14:25All right, you've got your fringe benefits, the group insurance.
14:28What else?
14:28No 50 cents an hour.
14:31Minimum wage democracy, one dollar.
14:34I'm going to tell you what you can do with your union contract, fat boy.
14:38You can...
14:38No, no, no, no, Captain, Captain.
14:39Uh, that landing strip isn't finished yet, sir.
14:43You have no choice.
14:45All right.
14:46One dollar, that's the deal.
14:48Now I'll send the boat over for your people and we'll get over to the island.
14:50People don't work till five o'clock.
14:53The people work now and that's an order.
14:56Five o'clock.
14:57Why not till five o'clock?
15:00Get time and a half for overtime.
15:14Well, so far so good, Arulu.
15:16Even better soon.
15:18Big boss pay workers, workers pay union dues, and me own union.
15:22Yeah, you're a kiddie, all right.
15:24Wish I know about democracy sooner.
15:27I'll bet, I'll bet.
15:28Well, how's it going, McHale?
15:30I just talked to the Admiral on the phone.
15:31I assured him that we're on the ball down here.
15:33Well, no problem, sir.
15:34The landing strip will be ready.
15:36Oh, good, good.
15:37You know, this could be quite a feather in my cap.
15:40I don't even mean a commendation.
15:42Keep on top of them.
15:43Hi, friend.
15:44Bye.
15:45Bye.
15:48You're a nut, Scott.
15:50I'm sorry, Scott.
15:50Hey, you're a fat nut, Scott.
15:57Okay, work stop.
15:59What does he mean, a work stop?
16:00What, what, what, what is that?
16:01Well, I don't know, Captain.
16:03Well, what do you mean, work stop?
16:04Ten minute coconut break.
16:05Say in union contract, right?
16:07Eh, coconut breaks ten minutes?
16:09You supply coconuts.
16:11Where coconuts?
16:12I'll give you coconuts.
16:14Good.
16:15You give me coconuts, I sell to workers, make nice profit.
16:18Oh, no, no, no.
16:19Wait a minute, Arulu.
16:19Enough is enough.
16:20You're being unreasonable.
16:22The men have stopped working.
16:23Oh, I didn't know that.
16:24I thought they were just lying down so they could blow the dirt away.
16:27Oh, no, sir.
16:27Well, that'd take a year, at least six months.
16:29All right, all right, all right.
16:31Look, Arulu, come on, get the men back to work, will you?
16:34All right, now.
16:35You no supply coconuts?
16:37No.
16:38Arulu, exercise democratic right.
16:41Everybody wait in boat to Arulu co-strike.
16:52Oh, I'm not well.
16:54The pains are coming back, I know.
16:59Mandu, Alu.
17:01Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
17:02Wait a minute, Jim.
17:03Hey, you're breaking your contract.
17:05Yeah, you're breaking your contract.
17:06Yeah, I almost dropped my leg.
17:08I do what I like.
17:09Have freedom, this democracy, Parker, tell me.
17:15Okay, all secure?
17:17All secure.
17:18Oh, it's no use.
17:19Skip without those natives, we'll never finish that airstrip in time.
17:21Don't you talk that chief into making his men come back to work?
17:24Ah, but how?
17:25Arulu's rough.
17:26Yeah, what a con man.
17:27Yeah, it's a regular pollination gruber.
17:29Wait a minute, I resent that.
17:31Are you kidding?
17:31He makes Gruber look like a choir boy.
17:33I resent that, too.
17:34All right, all right, knock it off.
17:35And I had to go and teach him about democracy.
17:38What's wrong with that, Urulu?
17:39Why he not fight for democracy, like me?
17:42Because he just doesn't understand.
17:45He thinks democracy is just fringe benefits and coconut breaks.
17:48All right, all right, wait a minute, hold it.
17:55Now, look, because of us, Urulu made his village into a democracy, right?
17:59Right.
18:00Well, now there is a way to get rid of him.
18:02How?
18:03Huh?
18:03We vote him out.
18:05Huh?
18:06How about that?
18:07We vote him out.
18:11See, McGill, you come give me coconut, yeah?
18:14Oh, big boss says no deal, Urulu.
18:16Then wasting time, Urulu, no change mind.
18:19Oh, now, wait a minute, Urulu.
18:20We think it did the right thing.
18:22I mean, after all, this is a democracy.
18:24And as George Washington once said, give me liberty or give me death.
18:28Or was that Martha Washington?
18:30Now, wait, wait, wait a minute.
18:34Look, we're not here to argue with you.
18:36We're here to help you have an even better democracy.
18:39You mean, so I make more money, huh?
18:41Oh, good, good, good.
18:42You tell Urulu, I do.
18:44Well, first, then, how about the election?
18:48What need election for?
18:50Well, so the people can vote.
18:52Make you big boss.
18:54Make you president.
18:55Me big boss now can lick any man in village.
18:58You know something, Chuck?
19:02It looks like a ruler's afraid to have an election.
19:05Yeah, well, he's afraid of his own people, I guess.
19:08A ruler's not afraid of anything.
19:10All right, then, how about it?
19:11You have an election, you'll have a real democracy.
19:16Who are the fellow they vote for?
19:19Well, find somebody.
19:21For instance, there's, uh...
19:24How about Maloco?
19:28Maloco?
19:29Sure.
19:30Maloco.
19:32Maloco?
19:33Oh, you do something funny.
19:35Him nodding, him little pipsqueak.
19:40And, uh, what do you say, Chief?
19:42Okay, everybody vote in morning.
19:45I tell people, you have nice election.
19:47I go fishing.
19:48Maloco.
19:51Bye-bye, Chief.
19:54Bye.
19:55Bye.
19:55And furthermore, I...
20:13I say vote for Maloco.
20:18Yay!
20:18Yay!
20:19Yay!
20:19Yay!
20:20Yay!
20:20Yay!
20:21Yay!
20:21Yay!
20:21Yay!
20:21Yay!
20:22Yay!
20:22Yay!
20:22Yay!
20:22Yay!
20:22Yay!
20:23Yay!
20:24Yay!
20:25Wait a minute, wait a minute, will you hold it?
20:51Greetings, friends.
20:53I'd like to tell you why you should cast your vote for Maloco.
20:58You've had enough of one man telling you what to do.
21:02A vote for Maloco is a vote for democracy.
21:05So, come on, a vote for Maloco.
21:08Let's hear it.
21:09Maloco.
21:24Maloco.
21:24Maloco.
21:25Maloco!
21:26Maloco.
21:27Don't count that one. That writing still counts.
21:30That's it, Skipper.
21:31Oh, good. What's the count, Chuck?
21:34Yeah, what is it? Why, why, why, why, why?
21:36Well, wait a minute. Let's see now.
21:37Nine and three are 12, minus one for Mikhail.
21:41And three or two.
21:47Whoa!
21:52This election stuff very funny.
21:54Skipper can do him a local, too.
21:56That good one very good.
21:57How you doing, Mikhail? You finish with game yet?
22:05Well, Mr. Parker's just counting up the votes now.
22:08You're wasting time. Everybody love Urulu.
22:11Yeah, well, I wouldn't count too much on that, Chief.
22:14Well, that does it, Skip.
22:15Oh, that's a vote.
22:16Yes, how much I win by?
22:17Well, Urulu, 37 votes.
22:22For Maloko, 216 votes.
22:24Hey!
22:27Mikhail!
22:27What you do here?
22:28You cheat me.
22:29I've been robbed.
22:30No, no, no, no.
22:31Wait a minute now.
22:32That's democracy.
22:33The choice of the people.
22:36Maloko, what you think you'll do?
22:37President Maloko.
22:45There you go, President.
22:46Well, how do you hurt him, Blubberbelly?
22:48You're out.
22:49O-U-T out.
22:50And there's nothing you can do about it.
22:53Oh, well, I beg your pardon, sir, but there is something you can do about it.
22:55You see, this is a democracy.
22:56Now, you could demand a recount.
22:58Take a literacy test of all these voters.
23:00You know what I'm saying, Mr. Parker?
23:02Yeah, you're out, Blubberbelly.
23:03O-U-T out.
23:06O-U-T.
23:07O-U-T.
23:07O-U-T.
23:07O-U-T.
23:09Oh, this is wonderful.
23:22Wonderful.
23:23There should be no problems with that airship now.
23:25Oh, as much as I hate to admit it, you saved my neck with the Admiral McHale.
23:29Oh, nothing personal, sir, just for the war effort.
23:32I ought to be able to get those natives for about 25 cents an hour now, huh?
23:36With a schnook like that Maloko in charge.
23:39Uh, sir.
23:40Bye, bye, bye.
23:41President Maloko is here to see you.
23:42Oh, show him in.
23:44Yes, sir.
23:44Show him in, President Maloko.
23:44President Maloko.
23:45Ah!
23:47Bravo!
23:49President Maloko, congratulations.
23:51I want you to know that it warms my heart to know that from this day on, the relationships
23:56between your people in the United States Navy are going to be ones of friendship and goodwill.
24:01Maloko, very happy.
24:03Oh, good, good, good.
24:04Now, if you'll just get your people back to work on that airstrip right away.
24:08Wait.
24:08We've got real democracy now.
24:10Oh.
24:11You'll discuss with Secretary from Labor.
24:14You guys are really doing it up right, huh?
24:16Right.
24:19Yeah.
24:20Oh, rule, rule.
24:22Him, President, by this labor problem, have to negotiate with me, blubber belly.
24:28Now, what about coconuts?
24:37I could just scream.
24:39It's a good start.
24:40Yeah.
24:42All right.
24:42All right.
24:43Here we go.
24:43All right.
24:43Yeah.
24:45Have you거� слą livies?
24:45Yeah.
24:46I can.
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