- 8 hours ago
The presenters take to a Welsh rally stage to test three high-performance SUVs — the Bentley Continental GT Speed, Range Rover, and Bowler EXR-S — in a mix of mud, luxury, and mayhem. Amy Macdonald joins the fun as this week’s celebrity guest.
Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
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Top Gear Season 19, Top Gear S19E03, Top Gear SUV test, Bentley Continental GT Speed, Range Rover, Bowler EXR-S, Amy Macdonald Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, Top Gear BBC 2013
Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
Thank you for supporting our channel
Top Gear Season 19, Top Gear S19E03, Top Gear SUV test, Bentley Continental GT Speed, Range Rover, Bowler EXR-S, Amy Macdonald Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, Top Gear BBC 2013
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MotorTranscript
00:00:00Tonight, I stop for petrol. Richard wears some sunglasses, and James sees some shirts.
00:00:20Hello. Hello. Good evening. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you. Thank you. Now, we begin with this. It is the Toyota GT86, a car which has stirred the soul and, indeed, the trousers of every petrol head in the land.
00:00:46But, unfortunately, to explain why, I need to be a little bit boring.
00:00:59What we have here is a front-wheel drive car going around Chicago Corner in an exuberant manner.
00:01:07And if we slow the film down, you can see the front wheels are fully turned, but the car is ploughing straight on.
00:01:14This is called understeer.
00:01:21Now, here we have another car coming around the same corner in the same exuberant fashion.
00:01:31However, because this one is rear-wheel drive, the back end is sliding out of line.
00:01:36This is called oversteer.
00:01:39Now, for reasons that are extremely difficult to explain to normal human beings, petrol heads prefer oversteer.
00:01:48We like the front end to grip and the rear to be all loose, and that means we prefer rear-wheel drive.
00:01:55But rear-wheel drive cars, Jags, BMWs, Porsches, Mercs, are complicated to make, and that means they tend to be expensive.
00:02:06That brings me back to the new GT86, a rear-wheel drive car that costs just £25,000.
00:02:23It gets better. The engine is a flat-four boxer unit, so the pistons go like that, okay?
00:02:40And that means it can be mounted low down, and that means a low centre of gravity.
00:02:45And there's no turbocharger, so there's no lag. Everything about the GT86 is immediate.
00:02:54And brilliant.
00:02:56And I haven't got to the best bit yet.
00:03:01To make sure its tail is as waggly as possible...
00:03:04They use exactly the same sort of skinny little tyres they use on a Prius.
00:03:23And what it means is the petrol head can enjoy some tail-out action at low, non-frightening speeds.
00:03:31Look, here we are, 30 miles an hour, well within the speed limit, and the tail's gone!
00:03:50You might think it's daft fitting deliberately un-grippy tyres on a car.
00:03:55You might think that you'd inevitably crash, but would you?
00:03:58Well, let's find out, how hard is it to slide this thing at 80 miles an hour the wrong way round the Hammerhead?
00:04:05Not, not hard.
00:04:14You could drift this car while reading a book.
00:04:19So I did.
00:04:21In some regard, non-echoic irony has been produced by semantic reversal.
00:04:28Interesting point.
00:04:29Because of the thin tyres, it's obvious the GT86 was not designed to set new lap records at the Nürburgring.
00:04:41And with a 197-horsepower 2-litre engine, it won't win many drag racers either.
00:04:53What it will do, though, is put a massive smile on the face of every motoring enthusiast in the world.
00:04:59It isn't even stupid.
00:05:13It comes with easy finance and a five-year warranty.
00:05:16And cruise control and Bluetooth and air conditioning come as standard.
00:05:19There's a boot too, which is big enough for things, and in the back, a couple of seats.
00:05:28There are, however, a couple of problems.
00:05:31One, it doesn't look particularly interesting.
00:05:34And two, it has a deadly rival.
00:05:37Welcome, everyone, to the Subaru BRZ.
00:05:44Like the Toyota, it has rear drive.
00:05:48And a low-mounted 2-litre boxer engine.
00:05:54Like the Toyota, it'll go from 0 to 60 in 7.7 seconds and onwards to a top speed of 137.
00:06:04And the similarities go further than that.
00:06:12Both cost the same.
00:06:14They have the same bodies and the same interiors with the same equipment.
00:06:18They're even built by the same people in the same factory.
00:06:22You might imagine, then, that it's quite hard to choose between them, but actually, it isn't.
00:06:27What? Because this is how you do it.
00:06:37Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a teacher by his toe.
00:06:42When he squeals, let him go, eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
00:06:46Toyota it is.
00:06:47Now, we must find out how fast the winner of our eeny, meeny, miny, moe test goes round our track.
00:07:01And that, of course, means handing it over to our tame racing driver.
00:07:05Some say that, following the vote on gay marriage, he's got engaged to James May, his lawnmower.
00:07:12And that he's become convinced this week that Henry IV is buried under the follow-through.
00:07:19All we know is, he's called the Stig.
00:07:22And he's off. Skinny Prius tyre scrabbling for grip on the damp track.
00:07:29Could make for some big slides.
00:07:32Let's be finding out here in the first corner.
00:07:35He's keeping it remarkably tidy so far.
00:07:39It's a bit of a surprise.
00:07:45Stig, still obsessed with national anthems.
00:07:47No need to tell you where that's from.
00:07:49And no surprise, the GC86 did go a bit sideways round Chicago.
00:07:54Right, Hammerhead now.
00:07:55ABS pulsing hard under braking.
00:07:57Suspect it might oversteer here.
00:07:59Yes, there it is.
00:08:01It is very, very tail-happy when it's greasy.
00:08:05That's Stig smiling though.
00:08:13Now, will we see a small brown Richard III from the follow-through?
00:08:17I think we might.
00:08:18Looking a little bit out of shape there.
00:08:21Okay, now we just have two corners left.
00:08:24Here we are.
00:08:25A little bit of opposite lock going in there to keep it all tidy.
00:08:28And now, Gambon.
00:08:30And here he comes and guess what?
00:08:31He's sideways again.
00:08:33But there he is, across the line.
00:08:41It did it.
00:08:42In one minute, 11.7.
00:08:45I made that up.
00:08:50It's a little bit slower.
00:08:52It's a lot slower actually.
00:08:54It's 131.3.
00:08:57So there we are.
00:08:59But once again, we must turn to the baby Jesus, who once said,
00:09:05He who shall be last shall be sideways and smiling.
00:09:08And now it is time for the news.
00:09:09And the news is, Subaru has announced that there will be a new Impreza, but that it won't be coming to Britain.
00:09:22I'm sorry, what?
00:09:23What?
00:09:24Yes, there is a new one.
00:09:25But we're not going to have it in Britain.
00:09:26They're not going to sell it.
00:09:27They're not.
00:09:28The Yobmobile is not going to be sold in Britain.
00:09:32Subaru Impreza.
00:09:33But how will our studio audience get here every week?
00:09:36I have no idea.
00:09:37No, I'm not joking.
00:09:38Every single week our car park is, what, 75% Subaru Impreza.
00:09:43Don't worry about our car park.
00:09:45What's going to happen to Wales?
00:09:47Well, because once again, those of us who choose to live in the countryside are not just ignored but abused, it would seem deliberately.
00:09:56And I've had enough, seriously, the end of the Impreza.
00:09:59I mean, they've taken our libraries, they've taken our post offices, they've taken our bus services, and they can never take our freedom.
00:10:09It must stop.
00:10:11Crikey.
00:10:12Hammond's gone mad.
00:10:13It's the end.
00:10:14Well, you say that, Hammond, but they can, and indeed they have, because they're only going to concentrate now on the Forrester and the legacy Outback.
00:10:21And the BLZ that I was just talking about in my film.
00:10:24Well, technically yes.
00:10:26Oh, sorry lads, I don't care, you're rambling on about parts that don't matter.
00:10:28No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what do you mean technically yes on the BLZ?
00:10:31Well, the thing is, they did a deal with Toyota when they did that joint venture thing.
00:10:35Yeah.
00:10:36And the arrangement was, for every ten Subarus that are sold, they can sell 90 of the Toyotas.
00:10:42So you can order a Subaru, and you will be able to have it sometime in the future, or you can have a Toyota this afternoon, sir.
00:10:49You're kidding.
00:10:50I'm not kidding.
00:10:51But either way, you can't have an Impreza, that's the key issue here.
00:10:54You might as well just get rid of the countryside, with it.
00:10:56Tell me to take that.
00:10:57All right, all right, Hammond.
00:10:58That's incredible, I thought it was all about the ban on fox hunting or something.
00:11:01It is a good question, I mean, what are yobbos going to drive?
00:11:05I don't know.
00:11:06Well, if you are a yobbo, and you have a suggestion, write it down on a note, attach it to a brick, and throw it through our window at 201 Wood Lane, London W, wherever we are.
00:11:1812.
00:11:19Hammond.
00:11:20What?
00:11:21The Camaro, don't you?
00:11:22The big new Chevrolet Camaro.
00:11:23Yes, yes I do.
00:11:24Okay, well, they've made one just for you.
00:11:26Here it is.
00:11:27There you go.
00:11:28Funny.
00:11:29Funny.
00:11:31It's actually, ignore the little one, that's a Hot Wheels one.
00:11:33What they've done is a full-size Hot Wheels model of the Camaro.
00:11:36Well, so they've made a full-size version of a model which is a miniature version of a full-size car.
00:11:43Yes, can't understand the logic of the self.
00:11:45There you are, that's what they've done.
00:11:46That's a brilliant idea.
00:11:47Is it?
00:11:48Well, that will survive an 800 mile an hour impact with a giant skirting board and come out completely unscathed.
00:11:53The worst thing about Hot Wheels was when you get up in the night for a pee and you tread on one.
00:11:58Or Lego.
00:12:00Lego is...
00:12:01Or an upturned plug.
00:12:03No.
00:12:04Lego's worse.
00:12:05Why?
00:12:06Because an upturned plug is big, Lego hides in the carpet.
00:12:09Carpets in.
00:12:10No.
00:12:11Is there anything worse than an upturned plug for treading on in the middle of the night?
00:12:14A Lego.
00:12:15A landmine.
00:12:18A tiger.
00:12:19Your house, James.
00:12:21I know something worse.
00:12:23Dog s***.
00:12:24Dog s***.
00:12:25It's the...
00:12:26It's the...
00:12:28Ow!
00:12:29It's that...
00:12:30A low friction moment.
00:12:32A low friction moment.
00:12:33If you have a lot of dogs, it can happen.
00:12:35It is.
00:12:36You have horses in your house.
00:12:38And then on occasion, yes, it has happened.
00:12:39Have you ever trodden in some horse manure?
00:12:41Possibly unbeknownst to me, I just had a warm foot.
00:12:44No.
00:12:45No.
00:12:46Anyway, if you want a full size model of a toy car, it's basically a Camaro with Hot
00:12:51Wheels written on it, it's £40,000.
00:12:53Yeah, but it will be worth more if you keep it in the box.
00:12:57Oh, now, business news.
00:12:59Yes.
00:13:00Important business news.
00:13:01Classic cars.
00:13:02Values have been shooting through the roof in recent years and months, actually.
00:13:07And I think I know why.
00:13:08It's because if you put your life savings in a bank, you get, what is it nowadays, half
00:13:11a percent interest?
00:13:12About half a percent.
00:13:13So if you put £25,000 life savings in the bank, you get...
00:13:18£125.
00:13:19It is about £125 a year back in interest, OK?
00:13:22Yeah, it is.
00:13:23Now, if you'd have bought ten years ago an E-Type Jab for £25,000, it would now be worth
00:13:27£80,000.
00:13:28£80,000.
00:13:29And you'd have had an E-Type to drive around in, because you can't drive around in a bank
00:13:34statement.
00:13:35So, it makes perfect sense.
00:13:36And there's no tax, presumably, on the profit on a car, is there?
00:13:38No, there isn't.
00:13:39No, on a car you can sell it and you don't even pay any tax on it.
00:13:41But there's quite a lot of cars doing that.
00:13:43Ferrari 275 GTS, if you bought one of those ten years ago, about £130,000.
00:13:48Now, half a million in ten years.
00:13:50I know.
00:13:51I know.
00:13:52It's staggering.
00:13:53The difficult thing, though, is knowing what to pick next, spotting what's going to do
00:13:56that, is it?
00:13:57Talk to me.
00:13:58Really?
00:13:59So, Jeremy, what's it going to be?
00:14:01I once bought a BMW 3-litre CSL for £3,000.
00:14:05They're now worth 40, 50?
00:14:07Easily.
00:14:08How much did you sell yours for?
00:14:09£1,500.
00:14:10Well done.
00:14:11I am the man you turn to at times.
00:14:14What's it, what, come on.
00:14:15What's it now?
00:14:16What's the top tip?
00:14:17Subaru Impressor, probably.
00:14:21Well, let's take this quite seriously, though, because we could actually dispense sound
00:14:24financial advice.
00:14:25Yeah, really.
00:14:26And actually, a car I've noticed that has gone up a lot in recent years is the Rolls-Royce
00:14:30Corniche.
00:14:31Yeah, like the one you've got, James, really.
00:14:34Yeah.
00:14:35How much is it worth now, James?
00:14:36About a million pounds.
00:14:37Is it?
00:14:38Is it, really?
00:14:39That's nothing compared to the Mercedes 600 Grocer.
00:14:42Oh, such as the one you got, James.
00:14:44One billion pounds.
00:14:45Really?
00:14:46A billion?
00:14:47That's a great billion.
00:14:48That is now a billion to buy one of those.
00:14:50Wow.
00:14:51If anybody's interested, give me a shout after the show.
00:14:53Yeah.
00:14:54Now, you know the old Maserati Quattroporte.
00:14:56We all agreed on this, actually.
00:14:57It was one of the most want-one cars.
00:14:59Yes.
00:15:00You just got in there and thought, God, I want one of these.
00:15:01Fantastic thing.
00:15:02For me, though, the only problem with it was, I thought its headlights were a bit too small.
00:15:07You know, they were out of proportion.
00:15:08Well, there's a new Quattroporte been announced.
00:15:10Okay, here it is.
00:15:11And I think it's got the same problem.
00:15:13It's got piggy little eyes.
00:15:14It looks like Ray Mears.
00:15:15What?
00:15:16A bit fat and lives on squirrels.
00:15:19Do you know the best thing about Ray Mears?
00:15:22You know it was with those very tight shorts?
00:15:24Well, when he bends down to whittle something, you can always see a testy.
00:15:29That is the best thing about Ray Mears.
00:15:33You know the best thing?
00:15:34The occasional glimpse of chicken skin outside of his shorts.
00:15:37No, he's not.
00:15:38It's, you know what I mean?
00:15:40It's just...
00:15:41I know.
00:15:42You know what I mean?
00:15:43No, don't.
00:15:44Oh, don't bend down Ray.
00:15:45Oh no, there it is.
00:15:46Oh my, the boys has popped out.
00:15:48Anyway, if you do want a Maserati, there's a V6 Turbo, which is £80,000.
00:15:52And a V8 Turbo, which is £108,000.
00:15:55I did want one quite a lot.
00:15:57You have now ruined it.
00:15:59And that's the end of the news.
00:16:01Now, over the years, we've had many big races across Europe.
00:16:05And in every single one of them, the car, driven by me, has always beaten public transport.
00:16:11However, since the last race, public transport has got a lot faster.
00:16:16So the producers thought it would be a good idea for us to have another.
00:16:21Yes, and they announced that they had one ticket for a Champions League football match
00:16:26to be played between AC Milan and a Belgian team called Anderlecht
00:16:30down at the San Siro Stadium here near Milan.
00:16:33And the first of us to get there could have it.
00:16:36The start would be here at Wembley Stadium in Wembley.
00:16:41As usual, James and I would be on public transport, buses, trains, energy.
00:16:45And as usual, Jeremy would be making the 800-mile journey by car.
00:16:50Except, obviously, for the channel which he would have to cross by boat.
00:16:53There was, however, one difference.
00:16:55Because the producers said to me that I couldn't just turn up at the start line as I usually do
00:17:01with a £350,000 supercar made out of rhodium and myrrh.
00:17:07No, they said the car he chose had to cost no more than £35,000.
00:17:12So, just to summarise, Jeremy would be slower and we would be faster.
00:17:17So, you can see why we were feeling just a little bit confident.
00:17:21To have a hope of making the kick-off in Italy, the start time was an alarming 3.30am.
00:17:31And, rather worryingly, at 3.20am, Jeremy still hadn't arrived.
00:17:38Right, so £35,000. He's not going to get that much power for that, is he?
00:17:43No.
00:17:44What I'd do, to be honest, even though it's a bit boring, is get something like a diesel Audi.
00:17:49Because it will go fast enough and you'll be comfortable and you'll get the range.
00:17:52BM.
00:17:53Or a BM, yeah.
00:17:54Get something reasonable.
00:17:55Or Volvo.
00:17:56Or even Mercedes for that.
00:17:57Soon, we had an answer.
00:17:59Slightly hot hatchback, I think.
00:18:02Yeah, what is that he's going for? A Mustang.
00:18:05That's a Ford Mustang.
00:18:07There they are.
00:18:08What is he?
00:18:09Oh, he looks pleased with himself, look.
00:18:11Dear, oh dear.
00:18:13What do you know that?
00:18:15Well, you do know, don't you, that just because a car has go faster stripes on it, doesn't
00:18:21actually mean it goes faster.
00:18:23I know.
00:18:24You wouldn't go through Europe in a big Stetson hat with chaps on, would you?
00:18:27He would.
00:18:28So why you, come on.
00:18:29Because it's a GT5.
00:18:30What?
00:18:31You see, Mustangs, very good straight line, quarter of a mile.
00:18:34That's what they're for.
00:18:35This is 800 miles across Europe.
00:18:38No.
00:18:39Have you caught it finished?
00:18:40I should go on.
00:18:41Because, er, have you seen the time?
00:18:43That's a very good point.
00:18:44I think we need to get cracking.
00:18:46Yeah.
00:18:47And so, at precisely 3.37am, the race began.
00:18:59Mustn't spin the wheels on the pitch, mustn't break the pitch.
00:19:03And here we go.
00:19:04Again.
00:19:05Oh, look.
00:19:06Oh, that's it.
00:19:07Now we've got to play for England.
00:19:08It's the wardrobe.
00:19:09Look, it's Adrian Cole's shirt.
00:19:11Right.
00:19:1216 hours to kick off, and I've got 814 miles to go.
00:19:18For the first part of their journey, Richard and James would have to catch a night bus, and then an overland train to St Pancras.
00:19:28I, meanwhile, had a choice.
00:19:31So, North Circular M25, or straight through London?
00:19:36Quarter to four in the morning, I'm thinking straight through London.
00:19:42Wake a few people up.
00:19:44In Sheffield, in fact.
00:19:48Morning.
00:19:49I'd like a single to Hendon Overland.
00:19:52That's first class.
00:19:53That must be upstairs at the front, is it?
00:19:54I don't know.
00:19:59I haven't been on a night bus since the late 80s, but when I did, it wasn't like this.
00:20:06I was envisaging a sea of six, sloshing from side to side.
00:20:09If you're sophisticated or intelligent, in other words, European, you might think James May has a point.
00:20:22That this is a stupid car.
00:20:25In fact, if you are from the land of Wordsworth and Shakespeare and a right honourable gentleman,
00:20:32you probably think the Mustang is a bit daft.
00:20:35A codpiece, really, for the shorter chap.
00:20:38You still have a Mustang, don't you?
00:20:40Yes.
00:20:41Judy Dench, Jew Whitfield, Melvin Bragg.
00:20:48These are not Ford Mustang people.
00:20:52Would you drive it to Milan?
00:20:53I would drive it to Cheltenham.
00:20:55I mean, it's lovely.
00:20:57I like Mustangs, but they're not fast.
00:21:00You know how people who don't ride bikes think Harleys are fast?
00:21:03And they're not.
00:21:04It's like that.
00:21:05This particular Mustang, however, is not like that.
00:21:10In America, this car costs the equivalent of £35,000.
00:21:14It is very cheap.
00:21:15But its engine produces 662 horsepower.
00:21:24That's round about 100 more than you get from a Ferrari 458 or a Mercedes SLS.
00:21:30It is, in fact, the most powerful road-going V8 ever made.
00:21:41And today I will need that power, because since we last did one of these pan-European races, the seesaw has tilted to make life harder for the car.
00:21:51You see, the train they're using to get to the channel is 20 minutes faster than it used to be.
00:21:58And to make things worse, they've stopped using the jet-cat things to go across the channel.
00:22:04I have to use an old-fashioned ferry, and that's 40 minutes slower than it used to be.
00:22:11So even before I get to France, I've lost an hour.
00:22:14An hour ahead.
00:22:19I understand a chance. You can't make that up.
00:22:22Yeah, well, you're right.
00:22:23Well, unless he tries to make it up in a Mustang round a corner, then he'll just be up a train.
00:22:27It's true, Mustangs are not good at corners, but that wouldn't be a problem for me on the motorway.
00:22:34What was a problem was fuel consumption.
00:22:38Since I left Wembley, I've done 12.6 miles to the gallon.
00:22:44That's not brilliant, is it?
00:22:46And nor, as it turned out, was the Mustang's voice-activated telephone directory.
00:22:52Richard Hammond.
00:22:54For a media device, say use your device, USB, line-in, or Bluetooth audio.
00:23:01For settings, say phone or voice settings.
00:23:03For sync services, say services.
00:23:06If a route is active, you can say next turn, update route, route status.
00:23:11Shut up!
00:23:13Look, it's saying Pancras.
00:23:16Do you want to go before we set off?
00:23:19He's coming. Thank you.
00:23:21Oh, this is nice.
00:23:22Foresee the tips available at www.saintmyride.com.
00:23:27Please! Stop talking!
00:23:31As we waited for the train to depart, the tension on board was electric.
00:23:36It is about ten years since we did one of these races with James and me on public transport and Jeremy in a car.
00:23:47A few things have changed. Amongst them, ten years ago, my esteemed colleague would have managed to stay awake.
00:23:52Obviously, those days are far gone. It has caught up with him.
00:23:57Nevertheless, the race is still going on.
00:24:00Here is Jeremy, and he appears to be in Dover.
00:24:04I was indeed boarding HMS yesterday, where I found out that not everyone shares my views on the Mustang.
00:24:18So, I mocked this thing all the way through London. I mocked it, actually, all the way through my life.
00:24:27But there is something about it, which, as you can see, is quite appealing.
00:24:31People like it. I think it appeals to our inner nine-year-old.
00:24:35It's not really French. It's just a fan that goes to respond to this accent.
00:24:48It works very nice.
00:24:50Please ensure that your Lugage is labeled Lugage.
00:24:54Our new, faster train thundered across Kent,
00:24:59and was already under the channel when HMS 1924 finally lumbered out of Dover.
00:25:07Why are we going so slowly?
00:25:09Where did we used to be able to go across the channel in 50 minutes,
00:25:12and now it takes 90 minutes?
00:25:15It doesn't make any sense.
00:25:22We're already steaming it to here somewhere, and he's just there, miles ahead.
00:25:27That's incredible.
00:25:29And thanks to the Speedo app on my phone, we could keep abreast of our immense pace.
00:25:35177 miles an hour.
00:25:38He's not doing that, is he?
00:25:40No.
00:25:41In fact, I was only doing a Victorian 23 knots.
00:25:46I'm going to ring May, because as you can see, we're nearly in France.
00:25:50Here he is now.
00:25:53Jeremy Clarkson.
00:25:54May, yes.
00:25:56Yes, hello.
00:25:57Where are you?
00:25:58We're about 15 minutes outside Paris, and about 200 miles into France.
00:26:03You're what, 15 minutes from Paris?
00:26:06Yes.
00:26:08Ah, okay.
00:26:10I'm not actually in France yet.
00:26:14Well, you're still on the boat.
00:26:16This is a setback, I admit, but enjoy your cockiness.
00:26:19When he's at it.
00:26:21Right, they are now arriving in Paris.
00:26:28Right, next train.
00:26:32There you go, Paris, 275 kilometers.
00:26:35So they are 275 kilometers in front of me.
00:26:39Do you ever get the impression you're completely wasting your day?
00:26:51On the plus side, Hammond and May now had to get across Paris to catch their train to Milan,
00:26:57which wouldn't be leaving for another 80 minutes.
00:27:00One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
00:27:04That meant I could close the gap, and I had just the engine for the job.
00:27:09It's a big 5.8-litre supercharged V8.
00:27:13But unlike most traditional American V8s, this one isn't made from melted-down box girder bridges.
00:27:22It's actually quite sophisticated.
00:27:27The block is made in Germany, where they know what they're doing.
00:27:31It's got plasma this and stellite that.
00:27:34The prompt shaft is even made from carbon fiber.
00:27:36Hopefully, then, it won't explode when I introduce it to what we Europeans call speed.
00:27:490-60 in this car takes just 3.7 seconds.
00:27:54And the top speed is 202.
00:28:00And I needn't worry about the police, of course, because I'm an Englishman in an American car,
00:28:04and the French, well, they love that Anglo-US combination.
00:28:09It makes them feel all warm and gooey.
00:28:12Bonjour, monsieur.
00:28:14Are you carrying my bag for me for a bit?
00:28:17Let me think about it.
00:28:19No.
00:28:21Uh-oh.
00:28:2350 miles to empty. Fuel level low.
00:28:26Got to go for a pee now.
00:28:29I think that's ladies. I don't know.
00:28:31It's all women in there.
00:28:32Yeah, they always have its French.
00:28:37No, it's just confusing. I'll hold on to it.
00:28:40At the petrol station, I discovered a problem.
00:28:44You are joking.
00:28:46It's only got a 50-litre fuel tank.
00:28:48A 50-litre? What's the point of a 50-litre fuel tank?
00:28:51A 50-litre fuel tank.
00:29:00So I'm doing the maths.
00:29:02That's about 14 miles to the gallon.
00:29:06Which means I'll have to stop every 140 miles.
00:29:09As the Mustang set about draining its fuel thimble, the phone rang.
00:29:14Hammond.
00:29:16Hello, how are you?
00:29:18Are you still in Paris?
00:29:20We're just setting off now, yeah.
00:29:21What?
00:29:22We're just leaving Garda Lyon now.
00:29:23And you're a hundred miles ahead of me already, and you'll be increasing that lead.
00:29:24The thing is, mate, I mean, you know, we've still got quite a long way to go, and I don't want to put an end to all of this right now, but you have clearly had it.
00:29:39That is really not good.
00:29:42They're on the super-fast train, and they're now doing a hundred miles an hour more than I am.
00:29:49Sit rep.
00:29:51I'm gonna lose!
00:29:59I mean, normally, normally I win those races by minutes.
00:30:05Yeah, well, seconds, actually, when we race the Ferrari to Verbier.
00:30:09No, no, you're absolutely right.
00:30:12So, to be an hour behind before I even got to France, the situation was pretty bleak.
00:30:18But we shall find out what happens later on, because now it is time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
00:30:25Now, my guest tonight drives a Bentley Continental and a Range Rover, and has an impenetrable accent, but isn't a footballer.
00:30:32She is, in fact, an incredibly talented songsmith.
00:30:35Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Amy McDonald!
00:30:41Hello!
00:30:42Hello!
00:30:44Hello!
00:30:45Hello!
00:30:46Good, thank you!
00:30:47Excellent!
00:30:48Look who's here!
00:30:49Marvellous!
00:30:51Now, as you say to yourself, you're not really a household name, but you have had some extraordinary success.
00:30:57Yes, I like to think so.
00:30:59How many albums have you sold now?
00:31:01We're close to about five million, I think.
00:31:04Five million albums?
00:31:05And you started, well, you were, like, 15 or something when you picked up your top.
00:31:08I mean, very...
00:31:09Yeah.
00:31:10What are you now?
00:31:1125.
00:31:1225?
00:31:13Yeah.
00:31:14And it's not just Britain either, it's all across Europe.
00:31:16Yes, I've been very fortunate with the support I've had in places like Germany or Switzerland or Holland.
00:31:22I've been very lucky with it.
00:31:24Do they understand what you're on about there?
00:31:26Most of them understand.
00:31:27I have had the odd, strange comment.
00:31:30One in particular was, now that you're successful, will you learn to speak English properly?
00:31:40And will you?
00:31:41No, I still haven't.
00:31:44Sorry Scotland, couldn't help myself, couldn't help myself.
00:31:47And you're a rare thing actually, you're a Scottish person who actually still lives in Scotland.
00:31:52Is that right?
00:31:53Yes, I do.
00:31:54Because you're not like Connery and all the other ones who live in the Bahamas and go,
00:31:57I love Scotland.
00:31:58I love it so much, I live in Monaco.
00:32:01That was a Scottish accent, by the way.
00:32:03That was terrible.
00:32:04It was, I agree.
00:32:06So, you are really, I mean, one of the biggest petrol heads I think we've ever had on this show.
00:32:11On a scale of one to ten, where would you put yourself?
00:32:14I don't know.
00:32:15I mean, I went through a phase where I was that crazy and I knew everything.
00:32:19I knew all the brake horsepower of everything that was coming out and I just was obsessed by it.
00:32:24I've just, ever since I passed my driving test, it's just been something that I've been really excited by
00:32:29and just exhilarated and love the thought of cars.
00:32:32I know you had a big love affair for quite a long time actually with the Audi R8s.
00:32:37Yes, I did.
00:32:38That was my first true love before I even passed the driving test and when I was able to buy
00:32:44that car, it was just a moment of, I was sitting behind the wheel and you see the little badge
00:32:49that says R8 and I actually had to say to myself, no, no way.
00:32:56Was yours a V8 or V10?
00:32:58I've done, I've done the V8, then the V10 and then I've done the R8 GT as well.
00:33:03So I'm well rounded in the R8.
00:33:04You've done it a lot.
00:33:05Actually the GT was quite an interesting idea from then because it was, what, how did they
00:33:09change it?
00:33:10I've forgotten.
00:33:11They basically made it a whole lot lighter so everything was carbon fibre and got rid of
00:33:15the glass and the windows and lowered it so it was just quicker.
00:33:18Was it well powerful?
00:33:19It was up to about, I think, 560 from about 520 from the standard V10.
00:33:26Do you write albums thinking, right, if I sell a lot of these I can go and buy A?
00:33:31Yeah.
00:33:32You do?
00:33:33Yeah.
00:33:34This is the motivation?
00:33:35I live my life that way.
00:33:37The ultimate goal was the Bugatti Veyron but I've got to get busy with old songwriting
00:33:43before I can go there.
00:33:45So, okay, so you did a V8, a V10 and then the GT and then you did, what, what came after
00:33:50that?
00:33:51After the GT came a Ferrari 458 and that's still with me now.
00:33:56Because the 458, are you a big fan of that thing?
00:34:00I am, yes.
00:34:01That was the first time I'd ever sat in a Ferrari and again that was a, I still get that moment
00:34:06when I see the little prancing horse and I go, no, definitely not.
00:34:11So, when you pull into a petrol station, do you get people who make observations about
00:34:16your car if you're in the Ferrari?
00:34:17Yes.
00:34:18All the time.
00:34:19Right, but you can't get much in the back of that.
00:34:21That's the usual one.
00:34:22Or, I bet that costs a pretty penny to insure.
00:34:25And you just think, why are you saying that?
00:34:27Because everywhere you go abroad people go, what a lovely car.
00:34:30But in Britain it's always my maestro does more miles to the gallon than that.
00:34:34Yes, but it makes you look like a .
00:34:36Yes, I've had that a few times actually.
00:34:38You even got it when you went on BBC Breakfast News.
00:34:41I bet you can't remember that.
00:34:42I can't remember it because you wrote a column and you were absolutely raging about that.
00:34:47I couldn't remember that.
00:34:48Okay, so Amy went on and said, I've got a Ferrari 458.
00:34:51Well, the first question was, well, how much did that cost?
00:34:56The next one was, where can you drive a car like that?
00:34:58In Britain you can drive it everywhere.
00:34:59You drive where you drive your pathetic little Nissan.
00:35:02I was properly crossed.
00:35:05I actually said I'm going to get Amy on Top Gear one day and apologise on behalf of the BBC for its communist tendencies.
00:35:13I'll tell you one more car I just want to talk to you about actually, which I didn't know that you'd had.
00:35:16It's a Nissan GT-R.
00:35:18Yes.
00:35:19Because I've never met anybody who actually owned one of those. Did you enjoy it?
00:35:22No.
00:35:23Really?
00:35:24Obviously it's super fast, but I did feel like I was just driving a big plastic box.
00:35:31Because technically you look at all of the on-paper stuff, like if you read the car magazines and you think, my God, this is amazing.
00:35:37But there is something missing from it, isn't there?
00:35:39Yeah, definitely. And it's very quiet as well.
00:35:42When I've got something super fast, I want everyone around me to know how fast it is.
00:35:47Did you ever use launch control on the Nissan?
00:35:50I didn't, no. I think it's definitely a boy racer's car, though.
00:35:53What, and you're not a boy racer?
00:35:55I'm not a boy.
00:35:56But...
00:35:57So, really, I mean, I know you said that this was an ambition then to come down here on...
00:36:03Oh, yeah, totally.
00:36:04Was it fun out there?
00:36:05It was great fun, yes. The stag was brilliant. I had a good laugh and I hope I'm not too near the bottom.
00:36:13Well, the practices weren't completely perfect.
00:36:18Oh, but they were exciting.
00:36:20You know when you spin off and you know you think the cameras weren't filming you?
00:36:24Yes, they were.
00:36:25Yeah, they were.
00:36:26Who'd like to see some of Amy's practices?
00:36:29Yeah!
00:36:30Let's have a look.
00:36:32Right, coming up to, yep, the second to last corner.
00:36:36Oh, yep.
00:36:38Good one.
00:36:40Oh, that's the follow through. That's about 100 miles an hour and...
00:36:45F***!
00:36:46I kept it going!
00:36:49That's brilliant!
00:36:54I'm sorry, the only person I think who's ever been off there was Blackstick from years and years back.
00:37:03Went off in a vanquish.
00:37:04That's about 100 miles an hour there.
00:37:06Yeah, I was caning it and then right over all them lights.
00:37:09Yeah, their landing lights did suffer quite badly, actually.
00:37:13But no, how did you manage to run wide? Was it really greasy? Was it greasy? I mean...
00:37:17Oh, I just think I wasn't paying attention at that point and I suddenly went right off.
00:37:21But I went off with style at that point.
00:37:23You did, and you did some damage.
00:37:25And I love the way that you keep your foot down and keep coming down.
00:37:28Yeah.
00:37:29So, who would like to see the lap?
00:37:32Yeah!
00:37:33Let's play the tape. Here we go.
00:37:39Perfect wheelspin.
00:37:40Oh, burning rubber.
00:37:43And a couple of breaking points there.
00:37:48And into the first corner.
00:37:50Just the right around the tyre squeal and a perfect line.
00:37:55Follow the road.
00:37:57Yep.
00:37:58Good plan.
00:37:59Follow it, get a bit in.
00:38:02Bang on.
00:38:04Yep, that's looking good.
00:38:06I'm coming for you, Damien Lewis. I think I might beat you.
00:38:11Do you know? I think you might. He was dealing with quite a lot more snow and ice than you've got there.
00:38:18Oh, that is nicely judged through there.
00:38:20My mum's going to have a heart attack watching this.
00:38:29Does she get worried?
00:38:30Yeah.
00:38:31She does?
00:38:32But there's nothing to hit except for a few landing lights and you can't even hit those anymore because they've gone.
00:38:37That was very fast through there and kept it on the island nicely.
00:38:42That was, yeah, not even cut there. No cheating. And here we are coming up to Gambon.
00:38:49Again, that is absolutely spot on and across the line.
00:38:52So, Amy MacDonald, whereabouts do you think you came?
00:39:05Erm, I'm hoping it's not too far near the bottom. I'd go somewhere in the middle, I'd be happy with it.
00:39:12Somewhere in the middle? What, this sort of 147 times?
00:39:14Yeah, I'd be happy with that.
00:39:16Well, you did.
00:39:19One.
00:39:20One.
00:39:21Okay, that's good, not last.
00:39:23Forty.
00:39:24Okay.
00:39:25Four.
00:39:26Wow.
00:39:27Point four.
00:39:28Not bad.
00:39:29So, I think that is an astonishing thing.
00:39:32Not bad at all.
00:39:37Just two tenths behind Tom Cruise.
00:39:42Stig was pushing me on and pushing me, so he must have known that I was right near Tom Cruise.
00:39:48That is an astonishing time. And to celebrate, we've got a gift for you to go home with.
00:39:53Oh.
00:39:54Yep, this hasn't happened since Harry Enfield came here, actually.
00:39:56Okay.
00:39:57But we'd like to present you with the landing light you rode.
00:40:00Ah.
00:40:01Ladies and gentlemen.
00:40:02Edward McDonald.
00:40:03There it is.
00:40:12Now, tonight we are having a race. It's between Jeremy Clarkson in this Mustang and Richard Hammond and I on trains.
00:40:19Yes, and we lift the action with Jeremy here and us two here. A hundred miles ahead and going a hundred miles an hour faster.
00:40:28Yes. Now, you don't have to be a professor of advanced mathematics to realise that, for once, Jeremy Clarkson is going to lose.
00:40:37I suppose it would be cruel, wouldn't it, to pray for some kind of derailment. A minor one.
00:40:52Or a strike. French love a strike.
00:41:01We are now approaching Fontainebleau at 183 miles an hour. There's the proof. I suspect even with his mighty Mustang, Jeremy isn't doing that.
00:41:12With victory for the train looking almost certain, we now had to tackle a thorny issue. There were two of us on it, and we only had one ticket to the match.
00:41:24I like big matches.
00:41:25Do you?
00:41:26I like going to see a big match. It's the best thing in the world to watch. It's fantastic.
00:41:29So you'd quite like to win this?
00:41:31Yeah.
00:41:32I'll be honest. I can take it or leave it. I'd rather leave it. But, in this one instance, I want to win more than anything else, because I want to deny you and Jeremy the chance of watching it. No offence. That's my thinking.
00:41:47Because I wasn't really in the race at all, I was getting distracted.
00:41:51This is good. There's a control on the steering wheel that allows me to choose what dial I have in the middle of the dashboard. So I can have volts, or inlet air temperature, air fuel ratio. I've got 14 of those.
00:42:08So the problem we have here is that you and I are competing, but obviously what we are engaged in here is a very lengthy truce.
00:42:14Yeah, because there's nothing we can do now. We are tied together until we get there and we get off the train. But the last bit is on full.
00:42:23Yeah.
00:42:24Now, I'm quite happy to run on television. Are you, James?
00:42:27Well, this is what's bothering me. The best I can do is come second.
00:42:31Yes.
00:42:32With my inability and refusal to run.
00:42:34Well, you've lost.
00:42:35Yes.
00:42:37I've currently got 11, what is it, in-hooks. 11 in-hooks? No, wait, 20 in-hooks. What's the point of all this?
00:42:45You might as well tell me the weather forecast for Adelaide.
00:42:49Then there was the radio, which could only receive frequencies ending in an odd number.
00:42:54HAPPILY THOUGH, THE OFFICE HAVE PROVIDED ME WITH A TALKING BOOK TO KEEP ME AMUSED ON THE LONG JOURNEY.
00:43:07He brings his hand up to grasp my chin and holds me in place. He wants me and I want him. He sits down on the edge of the bed.
00:43:17Did you undress me? I whisper. Yes.
00:43:24Who preceded Alex Ferguson as manager of Manchester United?
00:43:28Kenny Dudley.
00:43:30Was it Ron Atkinson? He's a local builder, is he?
00:43:35Can you play Mr. Bean?
00:43:36Perhaps I imagined it all. No. I touched my lips, swollen from his kiss. It definitely happened.
00:43:461969, year I was born. Which legend scored what was claimed as his 1,000th goal?
00:43:53George Best.
00:43:54Peel.
00:43:55Pele.
00:43:56Pele.
00:43:57The miles rolled by in a relentless blizzard of fuel stops and sadomasochism.
00:44:05Before I know it, he's got both of my hands and one of his and a vice-like grip above my head.
00:44:11And by mid-afternoon, I'd worked out why this immensely powerful car is so cheap.
00:44:24Well, it's not what you'd call lavishly equipped. The seats, for example, adjust manually. Then you've got the plastics which are hysterically terrible.
00:44:39And it simply isn't as refined or as well engineered as anything made in Europe or Japan.
00:44:46But it is a likeable car. It's a good-looking car. The power is always intoxicating. You'd never, ever, ever get bored with that.
00:44:56And you do get a lot of something else as well. Heritage.
00:45:03This car owes its existence to a Texas chicken farmer called Carroll Shelby.
00:45:11He was born in 1923 with a heart condition, which meant he lived much of his life on a daily dose of nitroglycerine pills.
00:45:21That's probably why, one day, he decided to become a racing driver.
00:45:26After not quite making the grade, he heard that in little old England, a small company called AC was struggling to find an engine for its sports car, the Ace.
00:45:39He brokered a deal with Ford to supply big V8s. And what became known as the AC Cobra was born.
00:45:47The Sunday Times reported that a coupe version had achieved 190 miles an hour on the M1.
00:45:57And the following week, the Daily Mail said this had sparked fury with motoring organizations.
00:46:04And thanks to the Mail's campaign, the 70 mile an hour limit was introduced.
00:46:10In America, though, the Cobra cemented a partnership between Shelby and Ford.
00:46:18A partnership that spawned many great cars and lasted right up until May of last year, when at the age of 89, he died.
00:46:30Just before he passed away, though, he got to see this.
00:46:33Apparently, he liked it. And I like the fact that it bears his name on the back.
00:46:43I was going to say at this point, well, Mr. Shelby, wherever you are, my victory today, it's for you.
00:46:51But I am so far behind, I just can't bring myself to say it.
00:46:56However, while I was delivering my small history lesson, either the engine had stopped.
00:47:03The problem is, as we start to go into the mountains as we make our way towards Italy, we get on to the old bit of the network, has to wind around a bit to go through cuttings, and that slows it down.
00:47:14So we're in a very fast train on goat paths.
00:47:17And that's him, and he's actually moving forwards in big leaps and bounds.
00:47:22This thing updates itself every two and a half, three minutes.
00:47:24So we see Jeremy's progress as a series of jumps, and they're bigger than our jumps.
00:47:28And it's costing us our lead.
00:47:30It is costing us our lead.
00:47:36Sit rep. I've eaten my last pork pie, and I've eaten all my sausage rolls.
00:47:40Richard Hammond is making contact.
00:47:47Hammond.
00:47:49I'm only wanting to ring with good news for you, which is to say we appear to be stuck because we have the mountains in our way, and I haven't seen more than 80 miles an hour, and we're getting slower.
00:47:59You're only going 80?
00:48:01Yes. The gap is closing right now.
00:48:04We haven't been over 65, 70 for the last stretch, and we're slowing again.
00:48:08Our ETA is still ahead of yours.
00:48:10You've still got time to make up, but right now we seem to be your closing on us, and that's an unpleasant feeling.
00:48:15Interesting. Right, well, thank you for that update.
00:48:21Better still, because of the Alps, the train had to take a longer southerly route to reach Milan, whereas the road was more direct.
00:48:30I was back in the race.
00:48:32We are going to side through these mountains, you and me.
00:48:35Let's do this for Carroll Shelby. Come on!
00:48:3868. Why isn't it registering 168? Why is it only saying 68? Why aren't we going that fast?
00:48:39We're not going that fast.
00:48:40We're not going that fast.
00:48:41We're not going that fast.
00:48:42200 miles, three hours.
00:48:43Aircon low, speed high.
00:48:44We're not going that fast.
00:48:45We're not going that fast.
00:48:46We're not going that fast.
00:48:47We're not going that fast.
00:48:48We're not going that fast.
00:48:49We're not going that fast.
00:48:50How are we going that fast?
00:48:51Let's do it.
00:48:53We're not going that fast.
00:48:54They're not going that fast.
00:48:55We're not going that fast.
00:48:59Why aren't we going that fast.
00:49:00We're not going that fast.
00:49:03200 miles, three hours.
00:49:04Aircon low.
00:49:05Speed high.
00:49:07miles, three hours, air calm low, speed high, keep me awake. Another problem for us was
00:49:17that in the mountains we seem to be stopping at every single village. We've been stationary
00:49:22at this one for five minutes. Excuse-moi, c'est cinq minutes, c'est cinq minutes en
00:49:29addition de la grande totale pour la trip, or included dans la trip?
00:49:37Ah, je crois qu'on va bientôt repartir, hein?
00:49:40Yeah, I don't understand the answer. Yeah, I don't understand the answer. It's okay,
00:49:44it's okay, let's just be calm, it's gonna be a pause now, whilst we wait and then
00:49:49we're locked away. He is catching up, I mean, cracking along.
00:49:56Chamonix Montblanc, it'll do me. I love the signposts you get round here. It's like
00:50:01I'm driving through a Robert Ludlum novel. We're gonna see Jason Bourne going the
00:50:08other way, punching people in the face, and he'll give me a thumbs up, go, yeah, go, Mustang.
00:50:1345. We're going slower than here. I'm getting depressed looking at it. As we
00:50:24trundled through the Alps, we got a call from Carol Clarkson.
00:50:28Hammond.
00:50:30Hello, how are you doing?
00:50:32Let me put it to you this way. What are you drinking?
00:50:35Oh, why?
00:50:37Well, because I'm doing really well. Montblanc is right...
00:50:40You're looking at Montblanc.
00:50:41I'm looking right at it, I'm under it.
00:50:43He's looking at Montblanc.
00:50:45Oh, God, he's going great, guys.
00:50:46It's a bit neck and neck.
00:50:48Yeah, it is.
00:50:49But then my charge was brought to an abrupt halt.
00:50:53Oh, God, Contraflow. That's not funny.
00:50:57I suppose they're just doing all the repairs before the skiing season starts.
00:51:02Bloody skiers.
00:51:04Come on, French worker johnnies.
00:51:06What numbers are we going to have here, I'm not telling you, Spain?
00:51:09I'm going to make a guess at 74 miles an hour.
00:51:1270 miles an hour.
00:51:1370 miles an hour.
00:51:14I'm in part of.
00:51:15Oh, no, no, no.
00:51:18Not again.
00:51:19Please, no more Contraflow.
00:51:30For about ten glorious minutes, I thought I was in with a shout of winning this,
00:51:34but these roadworks, it is just constant.
00:51:37In the Montblanc tunnel, I had seven miles at 40 miles an hour.
00:51:44If the Italians aren't doing roadworks to the same extent as the French, I am still in with a shout here.
00:51:53Meanwhile, far to the south.
00:51:56How fast are we going?
00:51:57Well, we've been touching 100.
00:51:59I mean, we're accelerating again.
00:52:00But he's not going very fast.
00:52:02But then I emerged from the tunnel onto God's racetrack.
00:52:07Italy.
00:52:09Oh, you beauty.
00:52:12The race was now entering its final dramatic chapter.
00:52:17James and Richard would get into Milan at 6 p.m.
00:52:22Then they'd have to cross the city by tube and cover the last mile on foot.
00:52:29Meaning they'd reach the finish line a bar near the stadium at 7 p.m.
00:52:34All the current calculations say I'm going to arrive at 14 minutes past 7 p.m.
00:52:44Which means I'm only 14 minutes behind them.
00:52:48Come on, Mustang.
00:52:50You are going to beat the train.
00:52:53Aha!
00:53:08We've peaked at 120 miles an hour in that last stretch.
00:53:12That's a tremendous sort of speed.
00:53:14We might actually just be in with a chance.
00:53:18I'm 79 miles away.
00:53:23I've been awake since 2 o'clock this morning.
00:53:26But I'm very, very awake now.
00:53:28Very determined and awake.
00:53:36Hello, Clarkson.
00:53:38We're just pulling into Milan.
00:53:39I wondered what time you thought you were going to arrive.
00:53:42Just curious.
00:53:43I reckon I could be there in an hour.
00:53:46I think we're going to be there in one hour and four minutes.
00:53:49May the best man win.
00:53:50It'll be you or Hammond, obviously, because I can't run.
00:53:52Yes.
00:53:53Got to go.
00:53:54Sorry.
00:53:55All right.
00:53:57Come on, Mustang.
00:53:58You have been the hero of many, many films in the past.
00:54:04It's now time to be the hero in another one.
00:54:08In Milan, the San Siro Stadium was coming to life.
00:54:15And on the other side of the city...
00:54:17Is that the right bit or that bit?
00:54:19Metro.
00:54:20M.
00:54:21Must be.
00:54:22We've decided to stick together until we've dealt with all the tricky train stuff.
00:54:27It's M1.
00:54:28M1 is down there.
00:54:30Oh, come on.
00:54:31Did we miss that by about?
00:54:32Yes.
00:54:33Seconds.
00:54:34Where the hell are we?
00:54:35Garibaldi.
00:54:36Okay.
00:54:37Three stops.
00:54:38What's the name of the bar?
00:54:39It's the...
00:54:41So it's another train yeah?
00:54:57There's a change, isn't it?
00:54:59It's not this one.
00:55:0715 miles to go.
00:55:09I can still do this
00:55:15How long are we on this one?
00:55:17I don't know. I'm trying to work it out
00:55:19Come on!
00:55:22There's Lotto, so it's one, two, three, four, five stops
00:55:28Seven miles. We've done 807. Seven to go
00:55:36You're not gonna run? No, I'm not
00:55:38But you are. Yes, I am
00:55:40Like a stabbed rat
00:55:43Oh, this is bad traffic
00:55:46I am treading on my own tail. That's what's happening here. I'm caught up in match-day traffic
00:55:52Is this us? No, but we're going to the right way or two more
00:55:56There's all the Belgians coming down to watch their team get annihilated
00:56:02I'll be on your side, Belgians, if you cheer for me now. Come on, come on, come on
00:56:08Right, exit
00:56:12Hammond and I had reached our final stop, which meant we were no longer a team
00:56:18Running commences
00:56:20Moving, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
00:56:22Outside the station Hammond scampered off, imagining that victory was in the bag
00:56:27But that's because he hadn't seen what was in mine
00:56:37San Siro
00:56:40Okay, that's a good sign
00:56:41Howdy, man, move! Move!
00:56:55We're through
00:56:55Where's the bar? Where's the bar?
00:57:09Where's the bar?
00:57:22Where's the bar?
00:57:23Stairs, yeah, yeah
00:57:27Oh, cock!
00:57:29Loser! All right
00:57:32Well done
00:57:32You look a bit tired, mate
00:57:34He's not here, though, is he?
00:57:36So, although you are a loser, you're not the loser, there's a word for what I am
00:57:40Yeah, smug
00:57:42Moments later, our deluded colleague arrived
00:57:46Right, where's the ticket?
00:57:53Oh, he's trying this on, he doesn't like how it fits, does he?
00:57:55He doesn't like that, he's magnanimous
00:58:01It just was
00:58:02I haven't thrown a suitcase at you, I haven't said no cock, well done
00:58:06We heard you
00:58:08Well, that's it, isn't it?
00:58:10My first ever loss
00:58:11800 miles in a stand, you've done all right
00:58:13It's not a stand, it's a must stand
00:58:14It's a stand
00:58:15Who won, by the way?
00:58:16I did, Eddie
00:58:18By running
00:58:18So you're going to watch a football match?
00:58:20Yes
00:58:21All by yourself?
00:58:22Yes
00:58:22Did you face it some nice dinner?
00:58:24He doesn't love football, he doesn't even like football
00:58:26Where are you?
00:58:271A
00:58:281A
00:58:29Which is at the front, isn't it?
00:58:31You're actually playing in gold
00:58:32I think you are actually in the team
00:58:34That is the goalkeeper's position
00:58:36Is it?
00:58:36Yeah
00:58:37Okay
00:58:37Is it complicated?
00:58:38Do I need gloves?
00:58:38No, no, no, no, I won't blame the tools
00:58:51But I will blame the French
00:58:54Because it was the French's fault
00:58:56Those roadworks, the contraflow went on for nearly 100 kilometers
00:59:00And that is what cost me the race
00:59:03Yes, yes, well enough about your embarrassing and very public failure
00:59:07The thing is, what about the car?
00:59:09The car looks great, tons of character, goes like a train
00:59:13No, it doesn't
00:59:14No, it didn't
00:59:15Doesn't go like a train
00:59:16No, it goes like a British train
00:59:18But there is a problem
00:59:19Is there?
00:59:19No, no, really there is
00:59:21Because the biggest advance with cars in the last 40 years or so has not been speed or economy or safety, it's actually refinement
00:59:30You could drive an old Ford Escort at 70 miles an hour
00:59:34But if you did it shaped and it rattled and it wore you out, yes?
00:59:37Now a modern day Ford Focus you can drive that at 70 miles an hour and it's like sitting in the bath
00:59:42This is like an old Escort
00:59:44The noise and the vibration and the harshness, it is exhausting
00:59:49You're absolutely right and that is why American cars are so cheap
00:59:53This, the Viper you were driving last week
00:59:56The truth is, they simply aren't as thoroughly engineered as cars from the civilized world
01:00:01No, they're not, they're not
01:00:02And as a result of that, I arrived at the end of that trip and I was just a big soggy bag of skin
01:00:09Yeah, yeah
01:00:10Thing is though, let's not forget
01:00:12You lost
01:00:14I did
01:00:15I did lose, I did lose
01:00:16And as a result of that, we must finish up on a rather alarming conclusion
01:00:21Because of the French, the car as a concept is finished
01:00:25And on that bombshell, it's time to end
01:00:27Thank you so much for watching
01:00:29Good night
01:00:50Good night
01:00:59Good night
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