- 2 days ago
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00:00I'm going straight, I'm straight as an error, I've paid the price and done me time.
00:23I'm going straight, I am, but I'm straight as an error, and I don't think straight back to crime.
00:35I'm straight as an error, and I don't think straight back to crime.
00:49Sign it.
00:50You what?
00:51The receipt, sign it.
00:52Well, just like that, without so much as a cursory perusal.
00:55What's to peruse?
00:57These are my possessions here, Mr Kirby, what I come in with.
01:00It may very well be that during the intervening years, well...
01:03Well what?
01:04Well, I'm just saying.
01:05Just saying what?
01:06Well, you know...
01:07Fletcher, are you implying that there are people in this prison who might resort to stealing?
01:11Yeah, about 800 of them.
01:13Well, steal this rubbish!
01:14It's not rubbish, these are my possessions.
01:16All right, go on, check them off.
01:18If anything's missing, take it up with Lloyds.
01:21One penknife tartan.
01:23Yes.
01:24One belt brown.
01:25Yes.
01:26One South African shilling.
01:28Eh?
01:29Oh yeah, look at that.
01:31One tin corn plasters.
01:33Hang on, hang on, hold your horses, hold your horses.
01:36One tin corn plasters containing.
01:38One, two, three, four.
01:40There's one of these missing, look.
01:42Can we get on?
01:43You don't get bad feet, do you?
01:46Where's my billiard chalk?
01:47Here it is.
01:48Hey, someone's used that in all, it's got a hole in, look.
01:50One billiard chalk, used.
01:53One key ring, Tottenham Hotspur, two keys.
01:56Yeah.
01:57One receipt, shoe repairers.
01:59Oh, that's what it is.
02:00Yeah, look at that.
02:01Brown broke, sold and healed.
02:03I wonder if they're ready yet.
02:06And one Ladbrokes pocket diary for 1974.
02:09Yeah, that's right.
02:10Hang on, hang on.
02:11Just have a shifty here, look.
02:12See what I've written here.
02:13Look at that, see?
02:14No entry after September the 11th of that fateful day.
02:17I've written, look, a tragic misdirection of a jury
02:20by a biased judge.
02:22Pound each way, laughing boy, eh, Doc Park?
02:26You spelt bias wrong.
02:27Yeah, spelt laughing boy wrong and all.
02:29Should have been red rum.
02:30Look at that.
02:31Fond farewell to wife and family.
02:33Remind our Ingrid to collect my shoe repairs.
02:37Yeah.
02:38Can we get on?
02:40Not much of a sentimentalist, are you?
02:42No.
02:43Do you know, Mr Kirby, in all the time I've been staying
02:45at this hotel, I don't think I've ever seen you smile.
02:48Fletcher, you haven't been out for three and a half years,
02:51have you?
02:52Three years, eight months, four days, sir.
02:53Well, let me promise you something.
02:55There's precious little to smile about out there.
02:58To you, maybe not, no.
02:59But what you take for granted will be objects of unsurpassable joy to me,
03:03you know.
03:04Like having hot water to shave in.
03:06Clean sheets.
03:08The right to sit on your own lavatory for as long as it takes to read the sun.
03:15About a minute and a half.
03:19Privacy, warmth, no smell of disinfectant or waterlogged cabbage.
03:24The right to sit by the flickering flames of your own artificial log gas fire.
03:29Gas bills, hot water bills, all sorts of bills.
03:34Bigger bills than when you come in.
03:36Privacy, warmth, in a dole queue.
03:41I'll be all right.
03:43Oh, well.
03:45If the worst comes to the worst, you can always send this lot up to Sotheby's for auction.
03:53Good luck, son.
03:55Jammy Arab.
03:59Jammy Arab.
04:00How?
04:01Going out.
04:02So?
04:03Jammy Arab.
04:04Who are you calling a jammy Arab?
04:05Look at you.
04:07No, well, it's not before time, is it, eh?
04:09I've done my porridge.
04:10Aye, all right.
04:11Your time will come and all.
04:12Don't worry.
04:13I'm the last of our little crowd, eh?
04:14Yes.
04:15Our little sewing circle, yes.
04:16Aye, Lenny's gone.
04:18Warren.
04:19Lukewarm.
04:20Yeah.
04:21They've all embarked on their fresh starts in life.
04:22Well, some more fresh than others.
04:24I had a letter from Lukewarm.
04:25Hey, how's he doing?
04:26Not too good.
04:27His case comes up Wednesday.
04:29No.
04:30He's only been out three months.
04:31I know, but it's a bit difficult for him being a bit lilac, you know what I mean?
04:34Well, who cares these days?
04:35Everybody's tolerant about things like that.
04:37Not in Middlesbrough, Jock.
04:38No, no, no.
04:39It comes from Middlesbrough, you see.
04:41Very difficult being lilac in Middlesbrough.
04:44There's a hard, inflexible breed of man in Middlesbrough.
04:47As is demonstrated by their football team.
04:51Hold on.
04:52Jar of Marmite.
04:53Would you like that?
04:54Oh, sure.
04:55Use that for suntan lotion, can't you?
04:59What are they doing for, anyway?
05:00Who, Lukewarm?
05:01Aye.
05:02Stealing a lady's handbag.
05:03Yes, of course, he swears it was a mistake.
05:05He said he reckoned it was his own.
05:08It's not easy, Fletch.
05:09We know that.
05:10We've both been in and out often enough.
05:11Yes, well, this is it for me.
05:12All right.
05:13Famous laugh.
05:14Oh, I know, I know.
05:15I've said it all before.
05:16Yeah, I know I have.
05:17But now, at my age, I've decided it's time I started to act my age.
05:21Do you know, there's very few people in any prisons over 35.
05:24Did you know that?
05:25Surprising.
05:26Well, it's time for me.
05:27Not au revoir.
05:28It is goodbye.
05:29Right?
05:30I'm 45 now.
05:3345 years of age.
05:35And I've worked out that I've spent about seven days, on average, seven days out of every
05:4130, in some nick or another.
05:43That's a week and every month, isn't it?
05:45Shocking waste, that.
05:47I've done worse than you.
05:49Ending out since I was 14.
05:51And before that, there was the orphanage, which was another kind of prison.
05:54Yeah, well, it is more difficult for your lot, isn't it?
05:56Because there is a lot of prejudice against your lot, isn't it?
05:58Yeah, it's not easy being half black.
06:00I'm not talking about being half black.
06:01I'm talking about being half Scotch.
06:03Didn't it be daft.
06:06People are not prejudiced against the Scots.
06:08Oh, I am.
06:10Hey, you are.
06:11That's because my car's a Scot.
06:12It's my car you hate, really.
06:14Oh, you've noticed, have you?
06:15You know, you're lucky he's not black.
06:17Then you wouldn't be allowed to hate him, would you?
06:19That is true.
06:20That's very true, yeah, yeah.
06:22Oh, I should miss hating him, though.
06:24Do you know, if there was two things I could take away from this prison,
06:27as souvenirs, do you know what they'd be?
06:29What?
06:30I'll give you a clue.
06:31They both belong to Mr Mackay.
06:33Well, off you go, then.
06:47Just a minute, just a minute.
06:49There's something behind, have you?
06:50Yeah.
06:51Three and a half years of me life.
06:54Right, then.
06:55Off you go.
06:56I want to hear this door shut behind me first.
06:59I'm supposed to see you off the premises.
07:01Why?
07:02You think I'm going to try and get back in, do you?
07:04Some would like to.
07:06They can't face it outside.
07:08Listen, mate, you're never going to see me hammering on this door,
07:10crying, let me in, I'll tell you.
07:12Right, then.
07:13You'd better move on a bit sharpish.
07:14All right, all right.
07:40Oi!
07:42Oi!
07:43Get me in!
08:04Peter, please.
08:05What's up?
08:06Oh, don't matter.
08:07JC.
08:08Oh, and one cheese in a marmilla, please.
08:10Haven't got any.
08:11Oh, well, Ham will do, then.
08:12There's no sandwiches.
08:13I haven't a chance to make them up yet.
08:14Well, what have you got, then?
08:15Scotch eggs.
08:17I'm not eating Scotch eggs.
08:20I'm not eating anything Scotch.
08:22You haven't got any Welsh eggs, have you?
08:25I'll tell you what, I'll have a sausage roll, provided it's English.
08:28Just sold the last one.
08:30Pork pie.
08:31Sorry.
08:32All right, let's start again, shall we?
08:33Eh?
08:34I am famished.
08:35I am famished.
08:36What can you offer me?
08:37Kit-Kat.
08:40Just a beer, yeah.
08:42What's this?
08:43Two bucks, ten feet.
08:44I want another sixteen feet.
08:47Twenty-six feet for a beer?
08:48Of course it is.
08:49Where have you been?
08:50Prison.
08:51For grievous bodily harm.
08:53Well, I see.
08:54You accept South African shillings, do you?
08:55Well, you do now.
08:56Yeah, well, I'll make you have a sandwich straight away.
08:57Cheese and tomato, won't it?
08:58Yeah.
08:59Yeah, let's go.
09:00McEwen is starting under Johnnie Walker on the site.
09:27Oi!
09:31I said I'm a killings...
09:33Take that to him over there, will you?
09:42I believe this is yours.
09:43Thank you, Mr. Mackay.
09:47Good God!
09:48Now, don't pretend you're surprised.
09:51You must have known I was coming down this train.
09:53What is this, surveillance?
09:54It slipped my mind entirely, otherwise I'd have caught the earlier train.
09:57The feeling is mutual.
09:58Oi!
10:00Oh, you and him, then.
10:02In a manner of speaking, yes.
10:03We are...
10:05We are from the same establishment.
10:07Oh, I see.
10:08Sorry, sir.
10:09The beer, the whiskey.
10:11How much is that?
10:12Oh, no, no, it's all right.
10:13No rush.
10:14You might want some more.
10:21So?
10:22So what?
10:23First taste of freedom, is it?
10:25Expensive taste.
10:26Cost of living.
10:28Well, sit down, then.
10:29You're making the place look untidy.
10:32Ironical twist of fate, isn't it, eh?
10:35Cos it was you who first brung me up here, wasn't it, eh?
10:37You and old Mr. Barracoff, all them years ago.
10:39Going down for some other poor old nurkling, are you now?
10:42No.
10:43Personal reasons.
10:44Oh, yeah.
10:44Must be going to the smoke, though, are you?
10:45Oh, yeah.
10:46Why?
10:46None of your business.
10:47Oh, it's that personal, is it, eh?
10:49What's her name?
10:50None of your lip fact...
10:51Oi, oi, oi, you can't talk to me like that, you know, now.
10:54Oh, no, you mustn't point your little miniature at me now.
10:59I'm a free man now, you and me equal, right?
11:01Never.
11:02Never, Fletcher.
11:03Not in a million years.
11:05Oh, funeral, is it?
11:06What?
11:07Going for a funeral down to the Great Metrolope, sir?
11:10No, sir, I've no wish to discuss my private affairs with the likes of you.
11:13Well, now, let's see.
11:14If it's not a woman, and come to think of it, it couldn't be, not in a hat.
11:19You're not going down for a course, are you?
11:21Cos you went to Godalming last year, for one, didn't you?
11:24You're not going on leave cos you had two weeks at Easter, didn't you?
11:27Remember?
11:28Went to Aberdeen, it peed down.
11:29Do you remember that?
11:30Then, er, you're not going up for a promotional board
11:33because they passed you over last November, didn't they?
11:36How do you know all this, Fletcher?
11:38Nothing is hidden in the nick, Mr Mackay.
11:40Of course, your birthday's coming up soon, isn't it, eh?
11:43April the 23rd, Taurus, the bull, very appropriate.
11:48Now, what's my birthday got to do with anything, eh?
11:50Nothing.
11:51Unless you're coming up to, er, compulsory retirement age.
11:55Oh, yeah, that's it, is it, eh?
11:5755, yes.
11:58Thanks very much, goodbye time, innit?
12:00What are they going to give you, a golden truncheon?
12:03A digital clock.
12:05Oh, dear.
12:06Here.
12:07Yes, sir?
12:07Two whiskies, doubles.
12:08Yes, sir.
12:09Course, you're going for a job, ain't you?
12:10That's your interview suit, innit?
12:12None of your business.
12:13You and me both, that's ironical and all, innit, eh?
12:16We've both led very different lives over the past 25 years, haven't we?
12:19And now here we are in the same boat, jobless.
12:22I beg your pardon.
12:24Fletcher at least do me the courtesy of not putting me on the same footing as you.
12:27Oh, that's right, no, innit, mate, eh?
12:29We're both shuffling along in the same dock here.
12:31Not me.
12:31Oh, really?
12:32Have you got the qualification to leapfrog this country's million and a quarter unemployed,
12:36in a bit?
12:36Fletcher, there must still be room in this country for an honest, diligent, industrious
12:40man willing to do a hard day's work for a fair day's pay.
12:43Oh, well, I'm not sure about that.
12:45Industrious, diligent, honest.
12:47That'd make you a unique case, wouldn't it?
12:49They wouldn't know what to do with you, would they?
12:50This is Stafford.
12:54This is Stafford.
12:55The train now approaching Platform 1 is the 118 from Carlisle.
13:00Calling at Brookby, Watford Junction and London Euston.
13:04Oi, hokey!
13:06All right.
13:08Come on.
13:09Wait for me.
13:10Oh, my God.
13:40That's a job you could do, you know.
13:59Pardon?
14:00Guard on a train.
14:02Yeah, suit you, that would.
14:03Uniform man.
14:04You could exchange your truncum for a flag and whistle, couldn't it?
14:06Well, Fletcher, I intend to seek a position with a little more dignity than a railway guard.
14:11Traffic warden.
14:13Why do you assume that I need a uniform?
14:16Well, because you've always had one, haven't you?
14:18You've always hidden behind that mantle of security, haven't you?
14:21Eh?
14:22When you were a boy, you left school in schoolboy uniform, straight into the army, weren't you?
14:26Boy soldier, right the way up to sergeant major.
14:28Yes, it's all in your file, I've read it.
14:30I became a boy soldier, Fletcher, out of expedience.
14:34Too many mouths in our family to feed.
14:37Lanarkshire Caulfield, unemployment, hard time.
14:40I grant you the army became a kind of a home, but one that I was grateful and proud of, sir.
14:47Yeah.
14:47Then you went straight into prison service, didn't you?
14:49You see, you'd never been out in the cold, have you?
14:51No, you're wrong, dear, sir.
14:53Absolutely wrong.
14:54But let me tell you, between 1951 and 1953, Marie, my wife and I, ran a boarding house in Peebles to stuff Clyde.
15:02Ah, well, that would have been cold.
15:04Yes, right.
15:05But that didn't last five minutes, did it?
15:08How do you know that, Fletcher?
15:09That was never in my file.
15:10Well, it stands to reason, doesn't it, eh?
15:12With Sergeant Major Mackay as a landlady, eh?
15:14Let's out, ten o'clock, stand by, your beards.
15:16Who left that kipper here?
15:21Oh, yes, you can laugh, Fletcher, you can laugh.
15:24Strasp Clyde took most of my savings, took most of my de-mob pay, tried to re-enlist, joined the prison service instead.
15:30Twenty-five years later, out past you, like some retired pit pony.
15:37Yes, you see, but you uniformed men all make the same mistake, you see, you all do.
15:42Screws, cops, soldiers, you all think that your loyalty is eternally appreciated by them you serve, don't you, eh?
15:50The force, the regiment, oh, they'll look after us, yeah.
15:55You seem to think there's some sort of father figure up there who looks after his own, but there's not, you know, there's not.
16:01There's just a computer, that's all.
16:03A big computer decides when your time's up and gives you the chop, or in your case, the clock.
16:10It's a criminal, Fletcher.
16:12I just read it, it's a criminal.
16:13Of course it is, that's why I know so much about it.
16:16Listen, you are in a very precarious position, do you know that?
16:20I've seen it all happen, I've seen it.
16:22Bittenness leads to resentment, you think the world owes you a living, you'll probably finish up in the dock, you know.
16:26The dock?
16:27Yeah, yeah, in the dock, yeah.
16:28On some pathetic little charge, stealing a tin of Dura-Git out of Tesco's.
16:34So you can polish up your medals, take them round a pool and shop.
16:38Listen, if I was you, Fletcher, I'd pay a little less into my future than a bit more to your own.
16:42You're, you're not exactly a broke prospect, are you?
16:45No, no, no, but I have no illusions, you see.
16:48I've got no illusions.
16:49I expect nap all from society, so the chances are I shan't be disappointed.
16:53You'll be back.
16:55Let me tell you a fact, sir, the straight and narrow, no, the straight and narrow is not as easy as you think.
17:01You'll be back in crime in five minutes.
17:03You'll be back inside in five months in your uniform.
17:07No, no, no, I'm going straight.
17:09I know you've heard it all before, and that's because I've said it all before, but the point is, when I said it before, I didn't mean it.
17:16I used to just say it for the parole board, you know, this time I'm legit.
17:20But what will you do, man?
17:21What will you do?
17:24Well, I'll do the same as you, I suppose.
17:26I'll just pray that somebody gives us a break.
17:33Have I offended you?
17:35No, no, I'm just going to pay the water bill.
17:37Oh, yeah.
17:38Have one for me with them, save me getting up.
17:41Yeah, do you mind if I tidy this lot up?
17:43I do wish you would.
17:44Would you like to settle up now?
17:46No, he's got all my money.
17:50Hey, Fletch, tis Fletch, innit?
17:55Possibly.
17:57Oaksy, remember?
17:59Oaksy, we did time together, Maidston.
18:02Oaksy, Oaksy, how are you?
18:07It's old Oaksy.
18:08I heard you'd been sent up again.
18:10Yeah, yeah, well, you heard right in it, didn't you?
18:12How long you been out?
18:13Oh, ages and ages, about three hours.
18:17You mean this is...
18:17Yeah, I'm just going home, darling.
18:19Never.
18:19It's true, it's true.
18:22Well, what plans you got?
18:23My plans at the moment are very fluid.
18:25I'll have a scotch.
18:26Yeah, eh?
18:26Yes, I...
18:28I suppose you must be a bit short just at the moment, eh?
18:32Not exactly flush.
18:33No.
18:35Well, I won't be a moment, Fletch.
18:39Here.
18:40You seem to know a lot of people on this train.
18:42So, not planning to knock it off, are you?
18:49Not till we've drunk all the beer.
18:57Mr. Tanner.
18:58What?
18:58Yeah, listen...
18:59Why aren't you watching that bag?
19:01The bag.
19:02That's just it.
19:02Look, Mr. Tanner.
19:03Oh, I've just met someone.
19:05Someone?
19:05Yeah, someone who could maybe take the bag off for us.
19:09Who?
19:09Mate of mine.
19:11Just came out of Slade Prison.
19:12Needs a penny or two.
19:13Now, look.
19:13If Lily Laws rumbled us, they'll be waiting, right?
19:16So, my mate, you can take it off for us, eh?
19:19He's very reliable.
19:20I mean, you know, he's solid.
19:23How solid?
19:24Well, I mean, he's one of us.
19:26Always has been.
19:26Look, he's in the buffet on his own.
19:28You can judge for yourself.
19:29Come on, I'll introduce him.
19:30No, no, no, no, no, no.
19:31You get back.
19:32Keep your eye on that, mate.
19:33Oh.
19:36Feel better for that, do you?
19:39Shouldn't we have got another couple in?
19:41Oh, that's a good idea, yeah, yeah.
19:43While you're doing that, I'm going to let a couple out.
19:47Beg your pardon?
19:48I'm going to have my first civilian slash.
19:52Sorry.
19:54Yes, sir.
20:00Good morning.
20:07Good morning to you.
20:10Someone just mentioned to me that you were on your way from Slade prison.
20:14Oh?
20:15Who, my lovely?
20:16A friend of mine.
20:19Well, the chances are, if you recognize me, he's no friend of mine.
20:22Oh, on the contrary.
20:23He spoke very highly of you.
20:24Did he?
20:25He said you were a man of integrity.
20:27A man one could trust.
20:28Well, like to think of, sir?
20:32Um, London?
20:34Yes.
20:35And then what?
20:36Well, it depends how I get fixed up.
20:38Oh, looking for a job?
20:41Position, position.
20:42Oh, perhaps I could help you there.
20:44Well, I hardly...
20:44May I?
20:45Please do.
20:46I mean, would I have the qualifications?
20:48Oh, trust, integrity.
20:51Absolutely.
20:54One thirty-eight.
20:56Oh, no, no, no, allow me.
20:57No.
20:57Oh, no, no.
20:58Well.
20:59Thank you, sir.
21:00Deep chain.
21:06Argyle!
21:06What?
21:07Your tie.
21:09Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders, isn't it?
21:11Oh, you recognize it, do you?
21:12Yeah.
21:12Oh, yeah.
21:14Sixteen years, man and boy.
21:16One drop as a class, too.
21:18Oh, would have guessed it, Sergeant Major.
21:20You a military man, yourself?
21:21Oh, uh, Green Howard's, uh, Major Hall.
21:24Sir.
21:25Oh, long time ago.
21:27Oh, nevertheless, we know, sir.
21:28Comrades in arms, that sort of thing.
21:31It's no, you see, sir, it's no coincidence that this country has gone to the docks since the
21:37abolition of national service.
21:40Bong hose.
21:42Look, uh, get straight to the point, um.
21:44I need to leave this train at Watford, but it's very important I have something delivered in London.
21:51A bag.
21:52Now, if you could do that for me, I would be very grateful.
21:54There would, of course, be suitable recompense.
21:56Say nothing.
21:57It, uh, needs to go.
22:00This dress.
22:03Yeah.
22:04You leave it to me, sir.
22:05This your head office?
22:07Ed's Print and Body Shop, Myland Rose.
22:11Do this right, and we might see later about something more permanent.
22:15Oh, well, sir.
22:17There we are.
22:18I will, uh, get the bag, too, by and by.
22:21There you go.
22:28There we are.
22:40Cheers.
22:48Rockford Junction, Rockford Junction.
22:50Train now arriving at Platform 8, 3.31 for Long Island.
22:54Hey, fetch.
22:54Right, say them all.
22:56Hey.
22:57Here.
23:00Train now standing at Platform 8, sir, 3.31 for London, Houston, Long Island.
23:11Panner.
23:11Train approaching Platform 5, 3.33 for London, Houston, South.
23:17Hey, what's all this?
23:18Here.
23:18No, it's just not where it is.
23:19I'm clean.
23:20I'm clean.
23:20I'm clean.
23:21Gee, what for?
23:22You can't do this.
23:23It's not right.
23:24I'll be here.
23:24Oh.
23:26PHONE RINGS
23:27Bleeding hell's the crown jewels.
23:45Good.
23:45Fletcher?
23:55What?
23:56Norman Stanley Fletcher.
23:59So?
24:00Don't be coy, Fletch.
24:02I collared you once.
24:04Oh, you're Scotch, innit?
24:05Yes, sir.
24:06What's in the bag?
24:07What bag?
24:07That bag.
24:08This bag?
24:08Yeah, what in it?
24:09Why?
24:09I've got a right to know.
24:10No, you haven't.
24:11You've got no right to come on this train to harass me.
24:13Now, come on, Fletch.
24:14A job has been done.
24:16The perpetrators are on this train, and I meet you.
24:19Now, you don't have to be Columbo to put two and two together.
24:21Now, come on, Mr Scotcher.
24:23Give us a break, will you?
24:24Look, I hate to mess up your hypothesis,
24:26but I've just come out from Slade Prison today.
24:28This is my first breeding day of freedom, this is.
24:30First day, huh?
24:31Yes, yes.
24:32It's easily provable, innit?
24:33He'll prove it for you.
24:34Who's he?
24:35This is Senior Prison Officer Mackay, this is.
24:37Right.
24:39What's going on?
24:40What's going on here?
24:41Excuse me.
24:42Scotcher.
24:43Flying squad.
24:44Is this man known to you?
24:45You've been out of it already, Fletcher?
24:47Oh, come on, Mr Mackay.
24:49Just alibi me out of this lot, will you?
24:51Are you who he says you were, sir?
24:52Well, I don't know who he said I was,
24:54but I am Senior Prison Officer Mackay.
24:57And this man left Slade Prison today.
24:59Yes, he did.
25:00What's all this about?
25:01Well, there was a duelist down at Sturford.
25:04Getaway driver lost his nerve,
25:06and the others whipped into the station.
25:07Well, I've got the wrong man here.
25:10He got on the train with me at Carlisle.
25:12So did I.
25:16I see.
25:17Yes, we've got a couple of them,
25:19but they didn't have the gear on them.
25:20That's why I'm assuming it's still on the train.
25:23Well, you'd better go and look for it, ain't you?
25:24Go on, on your way, then.
25:25Right.
25:26I'll just have a look at this bag first.
25:28Oh, hold on.
25:28Wait a minute, wait a minute.
25:30That's my bag.
25:32Eh?
25:34Yours.
25:35Certainly.
25:36What was Fletcher holding it for, then?
25:39Oh, I was minding it.
25:41I was minding it, see?
25:42Because he was asleep,
25:43and there's a lot of criminals who use this line.
25:51I've seen you, Fletch.
25:53No, you won't.
25:53I'm going straight.
25:55I've heard that one before, haven't we?
25:59Yes, a marked man, Fletcher.
26:01Listen, why'd you say it was your bag?
26:03Simple.
26:03Because I knew it wasn't yours.
26:04Too right it wasn't mine.
26:05Someone came and dumped it here.
26:06Just exactly as I admit.
26:08It must be mine.
26:09A fellow came along, left a bag, didn't want to wake me.
26:12What do you mean, it must be yours?
26:13A little commission that came my way
26:15while you were having a Jimmy Riddle.
26:17A military acquaintance of mine
26:20asked me to deliver this bag from in London,
26:22and then we are going to discuss something a bit more permanent.
26:25Oh, would you, Adam and Eve it, eh?
26:30What is so amusing for you?
26:31Oh, dear.
26:32If you was caught delivering that bag, Mr Mackay,
26:35you would be discussing something very permanent with a judge.
26:38I don't follow you.
26:39Listen, Mr Mackay,
26:40you and I are old adversaries, aren't we, eh?
26:43And believe me,
26:44nothing would give me greater pleasure
26:46than to drop you right in the class.
26:49But I can't.
26:50I can't.
26:50You see, it's day one of a new leaf.
26:52Besides, you done me a great favour,
26:54did you know that, even if you didn't know it?
26:57Fletcher, would you try and make some sense?
26:59Have a shifty in the bag.
27:01Betray your confidence?
27:03Never.
27:04I think you should.
27:11Oh, God.
27:13Yeah.
27:14Well, we've got to hand this over to the authorities.
27:17Now, just sit and think of it.
27:18Sit and think of it.
27:18No, no, wait a minute.
27:19I'm trying to think of a novel.
27:20Listen, if you go and get the law,
27:21you'll finish up in court.
27:22You will have to admit to being conned
27:24into being their bag man, won't you, eh?
27:26Rob and Narnie are going to look then, aren't you, eh?
27:28Especially you looking for a job and all.
27:30What is security court going to say to that in the interview, eh?
27:35Well, what do you suggest, Fletcher?
27:39It's not our bag, is it?
27:41Get your coat.
27:44Let's leave it for the cleaners to find.
27:47I mean, he's gone.
27:47Look, he's shut his puppy up, hasn't he, eh?
27:50Let's just mosey off to our individual compartments, right?
27:53Fletcher, I think that's an excellent idea.
27:55Listen, listen.
27:57Let that be a lesson to you.
27:59Remember, the straight and narrow
28:01is not as easy as what you think.
28:05Oh.
28:08Fletcher.
28:13Oh, Teddo.
28:17Shocking waste, isn't it?
28:43I'm going straight, I am
28:59Straight as an arrow
29:01I'll pay the price and done me time
29:06I'm going straight, I am
29:09I'm going straight, I am
29:09But I'm going straight and narrow
29:12And I don't be straight back to crime
29:17I'm going straight, I am
29:18I'm going straight, I am
29:19I'm going straight, I am
29:20I'm going straight, I am
29:21I'm going straight, I am
29:22I'm going straight, I am
29:23I'm going straight, I am
29:24I'm going straight, I am
29:25I'm going straight, I am
29:26I'm going straight, I am
29:27I'm going straight, I am
29:28I'm going straight, I am
29:29I'm going straight, I am
29:30I'm going straight, I am
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