- 2 days ago
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00:00I'm going straight, I'm straight as an arrow
00:17I'll pay the price and done the time
00:23I'm going straight, I am
00:26But I'm just straight and narrow
00:29And I don't mean straight back to crime
00:35Evening, Mr. McKeown
00:51Oh, Fletcher
00:52Come through, would you?
00:54Yes, sir
00:55Little early
00:59Yes, well, my son Raymond had a few friends round, you know
01:01Sort of party-like
01:02Oh, that's nice
01:03Well, not really
01:04Sixth-form punk society, it was
01:06I thought being as how I was on parole
01:08It wasn't the sort of company I should mix with
01:10I'm not one to complain
01:12Means I can hand over the reins that much early, etc, etc
01:15Might pop round to the anchor for a quick one
01:16Oh, I wouldn't advise that
01:17Not tonight, son
01:18Oh, why?
01:19Well, there's a load of Scotsmen in there tonight
01:21They're down for some union confab or something
01:23Are they causing trouble?
01:24No, no, no, no
01:25No, they're very merry, as a matter of fact, in a moment
01:28But you know you're Scotsman
01:30He can turn ugly in the twinkling of a sparring, can't he?
01:33And it's at times like that
01:34They are seized with an insatiable desire
01:36To pummel someone's head
01:37I'm Scots, Fletcher
01:39Oh, dear, I
01:40At least my forebears were
01:43Oh, you had four, did you?
01:44One more than Goldilocks
01:45I beg your pardon?
01:49Goldilocks
01:49She had three bears
01:50You had four bears, yeah?
01:52It's a joke
01:53Never mind
01:54Never mind
01:55Oh, yes, I see
01:57Well, Fletcher
01:59Tonight marks your first week here
02:01Yes, sir
02:02I'd like to tell you I'm well pleased
02:04And I'd like to give you this
02:05Oh, that's very nice, sir
02:06What's that?
02:07A pay packet
02:08Oh
02:08Have you never seen one before?
02:11No, my money usually goes straight into a bank, sir
02:12Or straight out of it, you know what I mean
02:13What does all this mean, then?
02:16Oh, the top figure is gross
02:18And the bottom figure's net
02:19Well, what's happened in between, then?
02:22Deductions
02:23National insurance
02:24PAYE, etc, etc
02:25Oh, I see
02:26That explains why most of the grosses slip through the net, does it?
02:29That's your welfare state, isn't it?
02:31Now you're on the right side of the law
02:33That's one of the things you'll have to get used to
02:34Yeah, among all the others, yeah
02:36Question of adjustment, Fletcher
02:39I know what you're going through
02:40Because I had to adapt myself
02:42When I came back from Nyastaland
02:43Did I mention that?
02:44Oh, yes, yes
02:44Malawi as it now is, sir
02:46Yes, Africa
02:46That's right, that's right
02:47Of course, we lived a very different lifestyle out there
02:50I was a farm manager in Africa
02:51Enormous spread as far as the eye could see
02:53We grew tobacco and some coffee
02:55And a local crop called Betelwoke
02:57The natives used the fibre to make rope
02:59Or soup
03:00Depending on their needs at the time
03:02Very adaptable people
03:04Yeah, they must have been, yeah
03:05Couldn't do that with Monica Tawny, could you?
03:08I'd stay out, possibly, yeah
03:09Talking of adaptability, sir
03:12I caught number 23 sneaking out this morning
03:15Oh?
03:16Yes, he was checking out with two dozen wire coat hangers
03:18He'd bent them square to fit his rucksack
03:21That's the ticket
03:23You keep your eyes open
03:25Sir?
03:25I think I'll give your parole officer a tinkle
03:28And tell her I'm well pleased, etc, etc
03:29Oh, thank you, sir
03:30Oh, I say, you shouldn't leave this open, really, should you, sir?
03:32Oh, no, of course not
03:33Thank you, Fletcher
03:33Incidentally, I think you're buying a better safe, you know
03:36But they're not cheap
03:37Yeah
03:37Well, better safe than sorry, sir
03:39Oh, that's very witty, Fletcher
03:42Oh, thank you, sir
03:43I prefer the one about Goldilocks, myself, really
03:45Still, we've got to do our best, haven't we, sir?
03:49Not much to laugh at these days, sir, sir
03:51Not since Mastermind finished
03:52Oh, thank you
04:22Fletcher, innit? Fletcher. Norman Stanley. Crowther. Thomas Clifford. West End Central.
04:46Flying squad, now. Oh, yes. I heard the Sweeney was a bit pushed for personnel.
04:50I think he won this, Naltie. Lot of lip. When did you come out?
04:56Two months ago. Where have you been? Work.
04:58Work? Pull the other one. I heard you haven't got another one.
05:06What have you got in the bag? Now, listen, you've got no cause to do that.
05:09No cause? What are you doing at seven o'clock in the morning, far from your own turf?
05:12I told you, I've got a job round the hotel in Sussex Gardens. Here, look here.
05:17Nothing in here, Tom. Except half a tongue sandwich.
05:20It's despicable, this is. They don't overpay you, do they?
05:24I have to accept all that, don't I? Just as I have to accept all this.
05:29And what do you expect? This is a hard crime right now.
05:32Oh, is it? Must require a very sharp eye and constant vigilance then, don't it?
05:37It does. Now, what do you attribute personally to your rising crime to, eh?
05:42I mean, is it, er, is it unemployment? The dissatisfaction of youth?
05:46Frustrated by blocked opportunities? What?
05:50Or is it part of a deeper sickness? One which permeates the entire society?
05:54Look, I haven't got time to stay here talking to you.
05:56Or is it simply that you can't turn your back for a minute?
05:59What?
06:16Oh, don't mop your grease up with your bridge.
06:19That's the trouble with your job. You spend all your time in transport camps
06:23picking up manors like that.
06:25I've always had manors like that.
06:26Well, I don't like it.
06:28And I don't like the way you eat with your elbows on the table.
06:31And everything I cook for you, you put into a sandwich.
06:34Why haven't you seasoned on the run?
06:35Well, it's not nice.
06:37Someone got out of bed the wrong side this morning.
06:39Well, I have a lot to do of a morning. I have to get you off.
06:42And then I have to make that something when he comes in.
06:45And then I have to get myself off to work. And Raymond's no help.
06:48Raymond, get out of that ballroom!
06:51When we're married, beloved, you'll only have me to worry about.
06:54Well, you won't come down to breakfast in your vest when we're married.
06:57They're the same as Dad in that respect.
07:00They've got a lot in common with your dad, haven't they?
07:03Unfortunately, yes.
07:05That's always going to embarrass me, that is.
07:08I mean, when we live somewhere nice, people are going to ask me
07:11how I met my husband.
07:13And I'm going to have to say he shared a cell with my dad.
07:16Well, it must be off.
07:19Hit the road, mate.
07:20Incidentally, while on the subject, have you mentioned it yet?
07:23What?
07:24What?
07:25You know, to Dad, our intentions.
07:27Er, no, I haven't had a chance.
07:29You've been putting it off since you've come out of prison.
07:31No, I haven't.
07:32I'm on the road all the time and he's working nights.
07:34You're just pro-varicating.
07:36No, I'm not.
07:37What do you want me to do?
07:38Go down on one knee and ask for his daughter's hand in marriage?
07:40Even if he refuses, it'll make an awful difference.
07:42Well, I do think you ought to make our intentions formally clear.
07:45I will.
07:46I will.
07:47Give us a kiss.
07:48Just like Dad.
07:49Put off.
07:50Put off.
07:51Put off.
07:52Yeah.
07:53Oh, I don't believe it.
07:55Oh, morning, Fletch.
07:56Morning.
07:57Hello, Dad.
07:58You a sec.
07:59Here.
08:00Necking first thing in the morning.
08:02Before the breakfast things are cleared away.
08:04I couldn't be like that, you know.
08:05How many sausages?
08:06Two.
08:07Here, Ingrid.
08:08Got something to show you.
08:09What?
08:10I haven't got time.
08:11Ingrid!
08:12This is a matter of some portent to me, please.
08:15Look, what do you think of that?
08:17Oh, Dad, it's your first ever pay packet.
08:22I will, yeah.
08:24Congratulations, Fletch.
08:25Yeah, I will.
08:26Huh?
08:27Can I have that six quid you owe me, then?
08:31What six quid?
08:32From the pub last week.
08:33Oh, that's six quid.
08:34All right, then.
08:35Yeah, give me that.
08:36What are you doing?
08:37Well, you owe me a fiver from the previous week.
08:39And I, the insurance man, I can pay him now,
08:42because we're a month behind.
08:43What insurance?
08:44What?
08:45Your life insurance, Dad.
08:46It costs a bit, but it's worth it,
08:48because if anything happened to you, we'd be quid-zine.
08:50LAUGHTER
08:51Here's your six, Len.
08:53Listen, why doesn't he pay board and lodging?
08:56He gets an allowance, you know.
08:57They all do.
08:58Well, he gives me that allowance, Side.
09:00Oh, well, let's have it.
09:01Let's share it out, then.
09:02No, I know Ingrid puts that into our fund.
09:04In, er...
09:05Into our fund, like.
09:07What fund?
09:08Er, must be off.
09:10What's he talking about?
09:11What time is it?
09:12Er, Tam, I was off.
09:13Don't do that to me!
09:15LAUGHTER
09:16Morning, son.
09:17See, morning, Fines.
09:18Why, what do you want to do?
09:19Listen to your Rice Krispies?
09:20LAUGHTER
09:21Look what your dad's brought home, Raymond.
09:23Oh, good, cos you owe me money.
09:24What for?
09:25You broke the stylus on my stereo.
09:26Said you'd replace it.
09:27It cost £3.50.
09:28Oh, well, you're like vultures.
09:29A lot of you, ain't you?
09:30Give me that packet here.
09:31What have you left me with?
09:32Look at that.
09:335p.
09:34Oh, good.
09:35We need that for the gas meter.
09:36LAUGHTER
09:37Hang your sir.
09:38Good on, Marky, please.
09:39Er, 20, er, 26.
09:4026, sir.
09:41I'm sorry.
09:42You broke the stylus on my stereo.
09:43You broke the stylus on my stereo.
09:44Said you'd replace it.
09:45It cost £3.50.
09:46Oh, well, you're like vultures.
09:47A lot of you, ain't you?
09:48Give me that packet here.
09:49What have you left me with?
09:50Look at that.
09:515p.
09:52Oh, good.
09:53We need that for the gas meter.
09:54LAUGHTER
09:55Thanks, sir.
09:58Good on, Marky, please.
10:04Er, 20, er, 26.
10:0626, sir, certainly.
10:07Check in today, did you, sir?
10:08Yes, right, this afternoon.
10:09I've been in London for a bit.
10:11And I've changed.
10:13Oh, yes, a lot of changes, sir.
10:15I notice that when I come out.
10:16Hmm?
10:17When I come back, sir.
10:18When I come back out, you know.
10:19When I come back to live out here, like.
10:21Oh.
10:22Arabs.
10:23Arabs, yes.
10:24All over the place, yes.
10:25Oxford Street's like a Casbah now, sir.
10:27Can't get down it for flying carpets.
10:29Still, they're the ones with the money, though.
10:32Oh, indisputably, sir.
10:33And this country needs it.
10:34Yeah.
10:35Yeah.
10:36I wish a few would stay here instead of the Dorchester, then.
10:38Oh, what, you mean because of the, er...
10:39Yeah, yeah.
10:40I'll tell you a funny thing, sir.
10:41I've got a friend, er, he lives in St John's Wood.
10:43He's a window cleaner, you see.
10:44And he was cleaning this Arab lady's window.
10:46And, er, and, er, she said to him, how much?
10:48And he said, 250, love.
10:49So she gave him 250 knicker.
10:51Never?
10:52Yeah, straight up.
10:53Would you give it to her back?
10:54No, but he left her the ladder.
10:55You know what I mean?
10:56LAUGHTER
11:05I don't know.
11:06I don't know.
11:07I don't know.
11:08I don't know.
11:09I don't know.
11:10Oh, well.
11:11Nice talking, dear.
11:12Thank you, sir.
11:14Stirring bean lady
11:15Ever so lovely and clean
11:18No chest
11:21Wonder what's under there
11:25Ha-ha.
11:27LAUGHTER
11:28Good evening, sir.
11:29Madam.
11:30Good evening.
11:31The thing is, I don't suppose you have any rooms?
11:35Don't you, sir?
11:37LAUGHTER
11:38I said they probably wouldn't have, darling.
11:40I might have some.
11:42I mean, I'm willing to take a chance, you know.
11:46As long as it's a five to one chance.
11:48Know what I mean?
11:49You see, we've got this room we keep specially for this Arab potentate,
11:52but if he wants to fly in the middle of the night in his private Concorde,
11:56well, that is his hard luck, isn't it, sir?
11:58Thank you, sir.
11:59It's awfully decent of you.
12:00Not at all.
12:01We're in luck after all, darling.
12:03Would you like someone to help with the luggage, sir?
12:05Er...
12:06There is no luggage.
12:07Oh.
12:08Oh, well, that's just as well,
12:09cos we've got no-one to help you with it, sir.
12:10LAUGHTER
12:12I'm afraid it's cash in advance this time of night, sir.
12:15Oh, yes, of course.
12:16Yeah.
12:17That'll be £12, sir, or the double, excluding this little bit of VAT.
12:20No, you see, the thing is, my wife and I were been to an office due
12:25and we were driving back to Reading, Red Hill, and a car broke down.
12:29Oh, yeah?
12:30Just around the corner.
12:31I think it's the Big End.
12:32Oh, I hope so, sir, yeah.
12:33LAUGHTER
12:34And I said to you, didn't I, darling?
12:37I said, why don't we stop over in town for the night
12:40and let the AA deal with it in the morning?
12:42Yes, yes.
12:43Well, that's the best thing, isn't it?
12:44Well, thank you very much, Mr Smith.
12:47LAUGHTER
12:48Well, er...
12:49I'll say goodnight, then.
12:50Yeah, goodnight.
12:51Oh, would you like a call in the morning,
12:52or shall we let nature take its course?
12:53LAUGHTER
12:54I think we'll just let nature...
12:55Won't we, darling?
12:57LAUGHTER
13:04That's so take the wind out of yourselves?
13:06LAUGHTER
13:08LAUGHTER
13:09Ah, there you go.
13:12Yes, all right.
13:13SINGLE PANTS
13:14SINGLE PURTHER
13:16SINGLE PANTS
13:19SONG
13:24What are you doing here?
13:26I just dropped by, you know?
13:28You had a row with Ingrid, have you?
13:30I just dropped by.
13:31You in trouble, are you?
13:33You always think the worst you do, Fletch.
13:34No, I don't.
13:36No, I just don't see much of you these days.
13:38I get a chance to talk to you.
13:39And, er, what were you, working nights and me days and...
13:44Well, you are me mate and I value that and I couldn't sleep tonight
13:47and I thought, why not come down and while away a few hours with me old mate Fletch?
13:52Ingrid's pregnant, isn't she?
13:55No, she's not.
13:56Yes, she is. I've told her about this. I've tried to warn her.
13:58She won't listen to me.
13:59Now, will you shut up a minute, Fletch? She's not pregnant.
14:01You think we're daft or something?
14:02Well, you've come here for something. You haven't just stopped by, have you?
14:04Well, I have come round here about Ingrid, actually.
14:06She wanted me to tell you something that I should have told you way back.
14:10Yes?
14:11Well, um, to come straight to the point...
14:14Yeah.
14:14Good evening.
14:15Oh, good evening, madam.
14:18I haven't had the pleasure before, have I?
14:20Oh, haven't you, madam? Oh, never mind.
14:23My name is Fletcher and you would be...
14:25Mrs Appleby, room two.
14:27Room two, madam, certainly.
14:28I wonder, could you undo this for me, young man?
14:38I'm going to have to give these to you.
14:40Oh, are you, madam? Why's that?
14:42To put in your seat.
14:43Oh, I see. Oh, yes.
14:47It's my custom, my rest easier in my mind.
14:49Oh, certainly, ma'am. I'll just get you a receipt, shall we, a moment?
14:54Do you work here?
14:55No, ma'am.
14:57I've got a son your age.
14:59He's in the theatre.
15:00Oh, that's nice.
15:01He's an actor.
15:02Very good, too.
15:04Only they don't seem to give him very big points.
15:06Oh, well, one day, perhaps, who knows?
15:10Here we are, madam. One receipt coming up.
15:12I should like some tea in the morning at 9.30 and a daily telegraph.
15:16Certainly. I'll just make a note of that.
15:18There's your receipt for your jewellery.
15:199.30, daily telegraph. Thank you, madam.
15:22Good night, then.
15:23Good night, madam.
15:29What a nice old soul.
15:32Now, where was I?
15:33Oh, yeah.
15:34Yeah, Ingrid thought it was about time I told you...
15:36Got it. Got it.
15:38What?
15:39I've just twigged, didn't I?
15:41Oh, well, I'll be off then, Fletch.
15:42No, no, no, no.
15:44Nice old soul, you say?
15:45Butter wouldn't melt.
15:47She is a bleeding con artist.
15:50Who, the old dear?
15:50Yeah.
15:52Oh, come on, Fletch.
15:52That's typically you.
15:53You always think the worst of people.
15:54No, no, no.
15:55It's all fallen into place now.
15:56Just before you came in here, a bloke came in.
15:58He's in room 26.
15:59I thought I knew his face.
16:01It's all fallen into place now.
16:02Wellins' name is Wellins Acker Foster Acker Stansfield.
16:07Acker?
16:07Acker, aka, also known as.
16:09I was in Maidstone Knit with him, yeah, for a long time.
16:13That's Worm Wellins, that's his name.
16:14I don't see the connection between him and the nice old lady.
16:17All right, I'll tell you.
16:18No, I'd much rather talk about Ingrid.
16:19Listen, never mind Ingrid for a moment.
16:21Come round here.
16:25Wellins used to work this con, you see,
16:27with a lady who some said was his old mother.
16:28They used to work round the south coast, Bournemouth, Torquay, that sort of thing.
16:32Always a small hotel, always with a safe like this one, an easy one, see.
16:35What was the con?
16:36Well, the con was they would insure some jewellery,
16:38they'd declare a value of, say, £10,000, right?
16:41And they would book into this hotel separately,
16:43no connection whatsoever, different days sometimes, you see.
16:46Then the old lady would put her tomfoolery in the night safe, see, her jewellery.
16:49See what I mean?
16:50Then she'd try and get the porter upstairs
16:52by phoning down saying she got a date and would I take some aspirin up,
16:56that sort of thing, you see, if it was me, right?
16:57Now, meanwhile, old beggarlegs, wellins, he'd come down and do the safe, you see.
17:01Oh, I see.
17:02Then they'd claim the insurance line.
17:03And also, of course, they might get a backhander from the hotel
17:06for keeping your stum and all.
17:07And, of course, the jewellery's fake, see, always fake.
17:10Come and have a look.
17:13Well, even if it's fake, they've got to pay a very high premium.
17:15But only till they've done the job, ain't they?
17:17That's not long, is it?
17:18Then it's a new name, innit?
17:19New name, new town, new insurance policy, right?
17:23Yeah, look at it. It's rubbish, innit?
17:24What's the look of, dear?
17:26Well, well, worm wellins, eh?
17:28Looks real enough to me.
17:30Well, of course it does to you, because you know enough all about it, do you?
17:33That is paste, mate.
17:35Hey, Fletch.
17:36What?
17:37This is not good.
17:38What?
17:38You and me, ex-cons, open safe.
17:42No, you're not wrong, then. Put it in there, put it in there.
17:47Oh!
17:54Hello, reception.
17:56Yes.
17:59Oh!
17:59Oh, certainly, Mrs Appleby.
18:02Yes.
18:03Nice glass of hot milk, certainly.
18:06Certainly, yes.
18:07In a jiffy, madam, yes.
18:09What did I tell you?
18:10What did I tell you?
18:11Hey, Fletch, this is a golden opportunity for you.
18:14Now, call the law, right?
18:15They come in here, eyed.
18:17You take up the hot milk.
18:19Wellins comes down, does the safe.
18:20They collar him.
18:21Who's the hero?
18:23You are.
18:24Think how that will go down with your parole board,
18:25not to mention the owner of the hotel.
18:27It's a flaming golden opportunity.
18:30That's despicable, that is.
18:34Pardon?
18:34And you're the man who's taken up with my daughter, Ingrid?
18:38I don't follow.
18:39Listen, Sonny Jim.
18:41You and I have had the strength to go straight, right?
18:43But this guy obviously hasn't, has he?
18:46So are you going to be the one who puts him behind bars again, eh?
18:48Are you?
18:49And what is more, are you going to live with that on your conscience
18:51for the rest of your life that you were a party to it?
18:53Oh, no.
18:55No, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
18:56Of course you wouldn't.
18:58Call the law.
18:59I'm sorry, Fletch.
18:59I didn't think it through.
19:00No, you never do, do you?
19:02Till, you can't have anything on to ward happening on your own doorstep.
19:06No, that's true.
19:07That's very true.
19:08Well, not in your position.
19:11No.
19:11So what are you going to do?
19:26What's going on?
19:27I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but I have no choice.
19:30This is Sergeant Gobber of the Yard.
19:34The Yard?
19:36Fraud squad.
19:38Fraud squad?
19:39Look, we know your game, chummy.
19:42We know what number you've been running.
19:44Could you keep your voice down a bit, Sergeant?
19:45We don't want to get the hotel a bad name, you know what I mean?
19:47I don't know what you're on about.
19:49Do you deny that you're Worm Wellens, otherwise known as Stansfield, otherwise known as Foster?
19:53They never let you forget, do they?
19:55That was years ago.
19:57Yeah, I got away with it on the south coast, but we're a bit more alert up here, Sunday, Jim.
20:00Excuse me, Sergeant.
20:02If there is going to be an arrest, could it be surreptitious, like, I mean, like, down the fire escape with a big bag over his head, you know what I mean?
20:07I'm going straight, for God's sake.
20:10You are from now on, Sunday, Jim, if you've got any sense.
20:13But?
20:14Don't remember me, do you?
20:16Fletcher.
20:17We was in Maidstone together many moons ago.
20:20Did you shock me, then?
20:21Only to him.
20:22Well, what do you mean?
20:23He's only the Yard?
20:24He is a truck driver.
20:27The only Yard he knows is the one he backs his lorry into.
20:33Is this all a joke, then?
20:34No, no, it's a warning.
20:36If you've got anything up here, Sunday, Jim, you will take either this warning.
20:38Here you are.
20:39Here is your Christmas cracker jewellery.
20:41Now, you take that, and you take your old lady friend, and you leave this hotel first thing in the morning and don't come back, right?
20:50Here.
20:51I've done time and all, you know, and I'm going straight, me and him both.
20:54Now, it takes a lot of courage and a lot of bottle.
20:57Come on, Billy Graham, out of here.
21:11My word, your early risers.
21:13Oh, yeah.
21:14See, the thing is, I contacted the AA, and they said they'd fixed the car already.
21:19Oh, that's funny, because you haven't got a phone in your room, have you?
21:21What did you do, send a pigeon?
21:25Yes, quite.
21:26Well, come along.
21:27Let's be off, Beryl.
21:29Cheryl!
21:36Morning, Cletcher.
21:37Oh, good morning, Mr McCurn.
21:39Late arrivals, were they?
21:40They were, sir, yes, but don't worry, cash in advance up front, sir.
21:42That's the ticket.
21:43Oh, yes, and now I see that you've put Mrs Appleby's jewellery in the safe.
21:49Yes, yes, sir, that's quite safe in there, sir, yes, sir.
21:53Delightful old sir, been coming here for years.
21:59Come in here for years, sir?
22:01Yes, last Friday every month.
22:02Board meeting in the afternoon, theatre in the evening, etc, etc.
22:06Regular as clockwork.
22:07Always stays here, even though she could afford clarages.
22:09Always leaves a jury in the safe.
22:12Worth a bit, is it, sir?
22:13Er, about £12,000, I gather.
22:18Her husband, her late husband, was Appleby's toffees.
22:23What's the matter, Fletcher?
22:24Are you looking ill?
22:25Yes, I feel a bit dizzy, sir.
22:26I feel a bit, just a bit queasy.
22:28I think I'll go and look at the first aid box,
22:29see if there's anything there that can help me at all, sir.
22:32I'll just hope.
22:32My God!
22:53Would a cup of tea help, Dad?
22:55No, no, no.
22:56I might as well just pack my little bag and get on the train
22:59and go straight back to Slade Prison.
23:01Save the taxpayer the expense of an arrest.
23:05They might believe you, Dad.
23:07Don't be daft, Ingrid.
23:08I'm an ex-con, innit?
23:09Well, you never know.
23:10I mean, the story's so ludicrous,
23:11it does have a ring of authenticity about it.
23:14Yeah.
23:15And you was a witness, Len.
23:18Hey, leave me out of it.
23:19I'm an ex-con.
23:21That's nice, innit?
23:22Well, there's no point in both of us being falsely arrested.
23:24Why not?
23:25Oh, now, Dad, you've got till 11 tonight.
23:28Correction, correction.
23:30I've got till Mrs Appleby leaves for the theatre tonight, 7 o'clock.
23:34You've got a lot of contacts.
23:35I mean, you know all the bent people around.
23:39Put the word about it,
23:40and maybe one of them will nail worm weddings for you,
23:42you know, and get the stuff back.
23:44The stuff by now will be in small pieces in Amsterdam,
23:47or wherever the fences dispose of the stuff.
23:49Yeah, I always knew it was genuine.
23:50I could tell her to glance it weren't paste.
23:52Oh, you knew it wasn't paste, did you?
23:53You knew it wasn't fish paste.
23:54That's about all you knew.
23:57Well, it's not surprising it was genuine, though.
23:59Not if you say her husband was Appleby's toffee.
24:02I mean, that's the famous brand, that.
24:03Yeah, and to think I used to be very fond of their weekend assortment and all.
24:07That's put me right off toffees for life, that is.
24:10All I'm praying is that I don't get sent to the same Nick, that's all.
24:13Cos the sight of Mr Mackay's face when I walk through that door
24:16is more than I can stand.
24:20Did you tell him last night?
24:25What?
24:26About you and me.
24:29No.
24:30No.
24:31Put off, put off, put off.
24:33Why could I tell him with all that going on?
24:35Well, you'd better tell him now.
24:36I can't now.
24:37Before it's too late.
24:38Before what's too late?
24:39Oh, um...
24:43Uh, Ingrid thought I, uh, I probably ought to tell you, um, this.
24:48Uh, I know it's the wrong time cos you've got a lot on your mind,
24:50but she thought I'd better tell you that we're probably, uh...
24:55thinking of getting married.
24:57Ah, congratulations.
24:59I hope you'll both be very happy.
25:01Sorry I shan't be there to see it.
25:03There's no need to take it like that.
25:12Hello, Fletcher.
25:13What are you doing here this time of evening?
25:14Can I have a word with you, sir?
25:15Has Mrs Appleby left for the theatre yet, sir?
25:17No.
25:18She should be down any minute now.
25:19Well, could I have a word with you before she does this?
25:20It's essential I've talked to you, sir.
25:22I can't wait just to take Fletcher.
25:23I'm right in the middle of something.
25:24I've got a plumber in 14.
25:25Oh, all right, all right.
25:26Now, Harry, I've got all the time in the world I have.
25:31Two years minimum.
25:34Fletcher.
25:37Wellins?
25:39I hoped you'd be here.
25:41I brought you this.
25:44Oh, God.
25:47And the money for my room.
25:50And my key.
25:52Oh.
25:53Well, I have to ask you, Worm, why?
25:55Well, I really have been going straight, you see.
25:58Six years.
26:00I didn't know what the hell was going on last night,
26:03but suddenly you handed me temptation.
26:06And all my intentions, all my promises to myself and to me family
26:10went out the window.
26:13Yeah, much as you did down the forest gate.
26:15Oh.
26:17Yeah, it hasn't been easy.
26:18Straight and narrow.
26:20Making do, getting by, just.
26:23You don't have to tell me, son.
26:24Well, I've got a fairly decent job now.
26:26I sell bathroom tiles.
26:30Cargo's worth it.
26:31Expenses.
26:32It's not much, but it's honest.
26:35And just sleep at night.
26:38Good evening.
26:39Oh, good evening, Mrs Appelbaum.
26:41I've been needing my jewellery.
26:42Yes, I've got it right here for you, madam.
26:44Wasn't it locked up?
26:46Oh, yes, yes.
26:46Yes, it was locked up, yes.
26:47But I knew it was coming down in a minute, you see,
26:50so I got it out for you specially.
26:51There we are.
26:54Could you help me with this, young man?
26:59So, where is it tonight, then, madam?
27:01I'm going to see a new play.
27:03I'm told it's rather sordid and sexually explicit.
27:08Oh, dear.
27:09I do hope so.
27:11It's $3.50 a ticket.
27:14Now, would you like a cab, madam?
27:16No, Mr McEwan's already seen to that, thank you.
27:18Oh, right.
27:19Oh, by the way, Fletcher, last night I didn't get my hot milk.
27:23No, I'm sorry about that, madam.
27:24An emergency came up.
27:25It won't happen again.
27:27Oh, right.
27:27Good night.
27:28Good night, madam.
27:28Good night.
27:29Oh, I get it.
27:31You thought her and me was working the whole game together.
27:33Oh, yes.
27:34You see my point of view, don't you?
27:35You see, the trouble with people like us is we think they're worst in others, don't we?
27:40Well, you weren't far wrong.
27:42Ten o'clock this morning, I was round at the fences.
27:47What?
27:47Oh, yes.
27:49Well, listen, which one?
27:50I've been round them all today.
27:52I've walked my legs or I haven't had a wink of sleep.
27:54Ernie Fish.
27:55Don't you know him?
27:56Ernie Fish?
27:57Is he still alive?
27:58I thought he snuffed it years ago.
27:59Oh, no, he's still there off the Caledonian Road.
28:02So was I with the gear.
28:03Oh, it scares me, though, how easy I succumbed.
28:08I thought I'd kick the habit, but I was like an ex-alcoholic who'd suddenly found a case
28:12of scotch dumped on his bed.
28:13Now, listen, son.
28:14Don't sell yourself short.
28:16Sure, you was tempted, but you licked it, didn't you?
28:19As your presence here indicated, you brought that stuff back, didn't you?
28:22Eh?
28:23You'll be all right, don't worry.
28:25You're an example to us all, you are.
28:27Am I, though?
28:28Well, what worries me is would I have brought it back if Ernie Fish had said it was genuine?
28:34Hmm?
28:34I'm going straight, I am straight as an arrow, I've paid the price and done the time.
28:56I'm going straight, but I am alone, it's straight and narrow, and I don't think straight
29:04fair to the price.
29:07Thank you for all.
29:29I'm going crazy.
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