- 5 months ago
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00:00I mean, it's only a hundred.
00:02Yeah, nothing to them.
00:03And I said I'd pay it back in six weeks.
00:05Well, knock it off your wages.
00:06And she said it would be all right.
00:08Oh?
00:09I mean, if he'd said no three weeks ago when I asked him, I could have got the money somewhere else.
00:14Ask him this morning.
00:15But I've asked him three times. It's embarrassing.
00:17Well, tell him, sir. If he won't let you have it, you'll go.
00:19I've got to have it this weekend.
00:21Well, ask him. I mean, me and you practically run the bleeding place for him.
00:25Ah, Polly, your paintings, precious.
00:28Thank you, my mother.
00:29Here, and the change is 44p.
00:32Ah, what's all that?
00:34Oh, I make a paella. A surprise tonight.
00:37My mother's recipe is...
00:39But does Terry know?
00:41Oh, perhaps Mr. Fawlty, say?
00:45Anything wrong?
00:50Nothing you could do anything about, thank you, Polly.
00:53Are you sure?
00:54Our 15th wedding anniversary today.
00:57Guess who's forgotten?
00:58Huh? Oh, no.
01:00I didn't think he'd forget this year.
01:02Not after what happened when he forgot last year.
01:05I shouldn't be so thin-skinned about it.
01:08I'm just cursed with a sensitive nature, I'm afraid.
01:12See, oh, that's the way I am.
01:13I suppose we all have our cross to bear.
01:15Do you know what poem that's based on, Polly?
01:22Oh, no.
01:23Oh, to joy.
01:24Hello, dear.
01:26Oh, Polly, you won't forget to put some more splits in the bar, will you?
01:29No, I don't, David.
01:29I don't expect Polly will forget, Basil.
01:31No, just reminding her, dear.
01:32Oh, were you?
01:33Oh, I thought so, yes.
01:34Really?
01:34Well, it sounded like it to me.
01:35You don't have to worry about Polly forgetting anything important, Basil.
01:38Don't I?
01:39No, you don't.
01:40Oh, good, how splendid.
01:41No, she doesn't forget things.
01:42Doesn't she?
01:43Well, can you remember the last time she did?
01:45No, I can't, but then my memory isn't very good.
01:48You can say that again.
01:50Can I do it?
01:51Oh, thank you.
01:53I've forgotten what it was.
01:56Well, don't worry, Basil, provided you can remember the things that matter to you.
02:02Do I detect the smell of burning martyr?
02:05It's not the fountain.
02:07It's your anniversary.
02:08Hmm, but don't let on.
02:09What?
02:10I'm pretending I've forgotten.
02:11Well, I forgot last year and I got flayed alive for it.
02:13So we've got some friends arriving in about ten minutes for a surprise drinks party.
02:17Manuel's making a special paella for tonight.
02:19Got some champagne, but don't tell her I've remembered yet.
02:21Let's let her have a bit of a fume.
02:24Wouldn't it be simpler to boil her in oil?
02:27Yes, but not as economical.
02:29Ah, Mr. Fawlty, what time for the paella?
02:32Nine o'clock, but a secret.
02:34Ah, secret.
02:36Ah, Mr. Fawlty.
02:37Hmm?
02:37Have you decided about the car?
02:40The car?
02:41The money for the car.
02:42I spoke to Mrs. Fawlty and she said it was all right.
02:44Yes, I don't think she quite understands the cash flow situation, vis-a-vis the frozen acid.
02:48But it's only a hundred.
02:49Yes, why?
02:50I thought I'd pay you back in six weeks.
02:51Let me think about it.
02:52But I've got to know this weekend they won't hold it any longer.
02:54This week?
02:55Oh, well, you should have told me.
02:57I told you three weeks ago.
02:59Look, look, it's my anniversary, right?
03:00I've got some friends arriving in a few minutes.
03:02We'll discuss it later.
03:03Oh, and now when they get here, give me a hand with the coats and drinks, will you?
03:05I scratch your back, you scratch mine, eh?
03:08What's this, then?
03:10Oh, good morning, Mr. Fawlty.
03:11Good morning, Mr. Fawlty.
03:13Good morning, ladies.
03:16Could I have a word with you, Basil?
03:18Could it wait just a few minutes, dear?
03:20No.
03:20Is everything all right, dear?
03:26You seem just a little bit tense.
03:28Do you know what date it is today, Basil?
03:31Um, it's the 16th today, dear.
03:33It's the 17th, Basil.
03:35No, no, it's the 16th today, dear.
03:37It's the 17th, Basil.
03:39Well, we'll soon settle this, dear.
03:43Oh, yes, you are right.
03:45The 17th of April.
03:46Well, well, well.
03:47Does that stir any memories in you, Basil?
03:51Memories?
03:54Agincourt?
03:59What anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt?
04:03Trafalgar?
04:05Cressy?
04:06Poitiers?
04:07Yom Kippur?
04:09Mr. Fawlty?
04:10Manuel says he's cooking a paella for you.
04:13Shh, it's for Mrs. Fawlty.
04:14Anniversary.
04:15I can do paella, you know.
04:16Yes, I know.
04:17I have been to catering school.
04:18Oh, yes, I know.
04:19But he is Spanish, you know.
04:20And I thought it'd be rather nice to do it.
04:21Dispacho, chicken andalus, eggplant espagnol,
04:24franco fritters.
04:24I can do it, you know.
04:25Yes, of course you can.
04:26But he's been wanting to do it ever since he got here.
04:28So I thought it'd be rather nice.
04:29You know, just to, just to lie, to give him the chum.
04:36I don't want to cause trouble, Mr. Fawlty.
04:38Yes, you do.
04:39Mr. Fawlty.
04:40Now, don't you start.
04:40I don't want an argument.
04:41No, no, no, please.
04:42No, be quiet.
04:43I told him I want you to do it.
04:44No, no, no.
04:45Mrs. Fawlty, she go.
04:47What?
04:47She leave, she leave.
04:48She go out.
04:50She what?
04:52Sybil!
04:54No, Sybil!
04:55Sybil!
04:56Sybil!
04:57No, no, no, no, no.
04:58You don't understand.
04:58I remember Sybil.
05:00I remember Sybil.
05:02Give her love.
05:02Give her love.
05:04Give her love.
05:15everything all right a bit of a bump just smoothing it out
05:22oh not at all um come on in
05:27what do i see what am i gonna see oh say she's uh um she's uh oh brilliant
05:44problem she's around it's surprise party yes she know here right that is surprise
05:53hello so she's ill she's ill what she's ill simple how are you what would you like to drink
05:58sib ill yes oh dear what's the matter did you hear that i said sib ill yes but you got it
06:04no no no i'm fine no no no well i mean i call i call her sib right so sib ill baswell
06:11oh manuel what's the matter basil yeah what have you done to her eh baz roger oh she knows my name
06:21she's been learning it all night what's the matter basil nothing nothing for sibyl oh sibyl uh
06:28quite a bit actually oh dear no no she's fine she's absolutely fine well i mean i mean she's
06:32feeling dreadful but she'll live that's what counts all right doesn't it well i'll pop up and see her
06:36oh do you don't want to bother with that come on through have a drink no you go on i see what
06:40you know no no alice yes i wouldn't actually let him have a matter old boy no no i mustn't oh but
06:44she's up there on her own i'm sure she'd like a little company i know i would well you wouldn't
06:49if you don't like her you know she's uh very swollen up you know she looks very you know what
06:53sibyl's like about her appearance oh don't be silly basil she won't mind me sing oh she would i think
06:58she would oh but it's her anniversary she's up there all on her own oh like a bit of chip oh better
07:07have a drink come on through oh oh let me call her then what let me call her from down here and see
07:13what she says about it there's the phone come on bad let's have a drink no no please come on please
07:20why not no she's having a bit of a sleep sleep you know she can sleep all day basil she won't mind
07:25no but she's she's lost her voice lost her voice poor thing god just like come on yes just just
07:30coming roger after you after you alice yes all right alice um what would you uh what would you
07:36like to drink alice oh gin and please basil right has a doctor been uh what's yours roge
07:43gin and tonic oh yes of course right basil mm-hmm has a doctor been and nuts
07:48they've had a row she's refused to come down um you were just asking about the doctor yes he
07:57hasn't been yet in fact i expect we'll get him back this afternoon yes well what a shame hey poor
08:02old sib on your anniversary phone oh hello polly oh hello mrs terry is it a shame about mrs faulty isn't
08:09it i'm afraid the doctor says she's going to have to be in bed for a couple of days yes but the doctor
08:13hasn't actually been yet polly i don't know who you were thinking of but that man this morning
08:18he looked like a doctor yes yes he did actually yes that's true but he wasn't unfortunately he
08:22wasn't a doctor no no he was a dentist a dentist what was a dentist doing here staying in the hotel
08:28he's a guest you see dentists do stay in hotels you know yes but don't go about telling people's
08:32wives to stay in bed do they oh he must have been talking about his wife his wife well johnny good
08:39lunch nice to see you birth cheers up yours back oh yes yes who were sib or the dentist's wife
08:51well you're you're both keeping well are you oh yes yes couldn't be better and you basil
08:55no one can't complain well i could but he wouldn't do any good would it
08:59shame on your anniversary as well yeah still all comes out the wash doesn't it we're thinking of
09:03having this room done up as a matter of fact really sort of captain's cabin you know put a couple of
09:07charts on the wall few ropes wheel in the corner that sort of thing yeah give it a bit of class
09:11wasn't my idea aren't you poor sibyl hello hello hello marzipan oh thank you thank you we brought you a
09:23little surprise oh can i see oh cake lovely jolly nice oh did you make it lots of extra marzipan
09:34she's not well she's not well she's in bed that's not like simple she's lost her voice
09:41what is it well we're not absolutely sure i bet she'd like a bit of that marzipan
09:45roger cheer her up bad good idea we'll take her up a slice i don't think we better well why not
09:51well she really ought not to be disturbed oh just for a minute it's not a very good idea tomorrow
09:55perhaps what on earth the matter with her has the doctor been no but the dentist had a good look
10:02the dentist no we call the doctor we describe the symptoms to him over the phone he says she ought to
10:07stay very very quiet now polly um what would you like to drink virginia oh medium sherry please
10:12what are the symptoms well she's uh she's lost her voice and she's very puffed up yes what is it
10:17that's what is telling her he being very difficult what he moved my pop he put his pop where my body
10:23holly what's puffed up beer for me well put your pot somewhere else put it somewhere else he move it
10:30again what's puffed up lies well tell him i said you want to do it all right what eyes i tell you he
10:36won't to make trouble he pushes mop in my feet her thighs thighs well most of her legs actually now
10:45just tell him go on basil polly says her legs are puffed up are they no sibyl's what
10:57sibyl's legs sibyl's legs her thighs oh uh yes just a bit a tiny bit but mainly around the face around
11:05the eyes you know face is puffed up she's lost her voice and her legs are a bit expanded sad isn't it
11:12cool so when's the doctor coming later soon soon when well i don't know exactly well i bet you do
11:19i can have a look at her what she sounds ill basil she is ill that's why we don't want people going
11:24up there and talking to her i'm not going to talk to her basil i'm going to look at her look at she's
11:30ill isn't she what's the bloody point of looking at her i am a nurse basil oh no i know
11:37do you know that everyone all the years i've known old virginia she thinks i've forgotten she's a
11:45nurse you're a marvel you know please let me go basil i want to look at sibyl well you can't why not
11:52because because you've lost weight haven't you isn't that absolutely just a party i think you ought to tell
12:00them oh right about the doctor coming this morning he came this morning first thing well why didn't you
12:11say he didn't want to worry you i didn't want to worry you is it serious well it might be i mean
12:21not completely serious but slightly serious oh poor basil it's all right i'd just rather be you
12:26know talk about it hello everyone hello hello hello hello hello siibyl's not here is she uh no no there
12:36you are you see i told you so i just saw her in the town what in her car in the high street
12:44that's that other woman what other woman that woman who looks slightly like sybil you know don't
12:51you you know like sybil yes very very broad here she's from the north drives a red maxi does she
12:56well her husband does i think i expect she borrowed it perhaps she stole yours old boy it's not out
13:00there it's at the garage garage she looks like sybil yes and she comes from the north well she has a
13:05northern accent you know i assume she's from the north oh you've spoken to her what's her name well i don't
13:11know her name i mean i only met her once but of fate i mean sorry basil i didn't no no of course
13:17hey by the way basil where is sybil she's in bed oh dear yes she's really not well she really mustn't
13:22see anybody now what not at all no can't we just put our heads around the court no i'm afraid not
13:27she doesn't have any excitement oh basil what do you mean old basil well we are her oldest friends
13:32old man i mean it can only do her good and we have all come over here to see you both well i'm sorry
13:36if you've been put out i mean you'll have some drinks plenty of nuts see your old friends have some laughs
13:40but if that isn't good enough i'll i'll refund your petrol for you no steady on basil well i'm
13:45sorry of course we understand you're a bit upset well you know yes of course but you know us well
13:51enough you should have called it off wait until she's better well i would have done rich but there
13:55just wasn't time wasn't time she only began to puff up about an hour ago have you said that the doctor
14:00came first thing this morning yes yes that's right yes that was for the throat the puffing up started
14:04after he'd gone okay after yes after you taking notes where have you gone i'm going to see her
14:11but there is something very peculiar about all this no i'm not standing here while an old friend
14:15like simple look it's it's perfectly simple simple's not well she lost her throat and her voice hurt the
14:21doctor came and said it was a bit serious not a lot a bit he went away she started to puff up he's
14:26coming back later this afternoon and it's best for her to be on her own now what is so peculiar about
14:31that her driving around in the town what did you say no sorry just a joke bass can i have another
14:40gin please just a joke what she's done uh in the town driving around is that what she's
14:43oh no no no obviously i've been standing around here making up crackpot stories about my wife being
14:49seriously upstairs is that no no no of course not it was just that it was a bit funny kitty seeing that
14:53northern woman in the car funny oh i see you mean you think that that was civil in the car and she's
14:59not upstairs is that it oh i understand i've got it now right well what are we all waiting around
15:05here for come up everybody upstairs come on no no no come on everyone who thinks i'm a liar come
15:12on hang on oh don't get like that we don't want to no be best to leave her we'll see her some other time
15:21yes when she's feeling better but roger wants to know no we mustn't disturb her no no no no no if roger
15:26wants he doesn't basil well we could just say hello oh roger right all right fine all right okay
15:35then fine no problem no problem no problem suits me good idea i'll just uh pop upstairs and ask her
15:40to stop dying and then you can all come up and identify all right polly would you give me a hand
15:44help us after another drink please make yourself at home relax any more nuts what are you doing
15:51you won't have to say anything what oh no come on no no no no no i won't yes you will come on
15:58it's easy you put on their dark glasses one of their wings
16:05will you listen to me oh come on they never believe i was listening is believing but i don't look like
16:12car you're a woman aren't you my face is too long shortly you lost your voice all you have to do is
16:17wave wave you put one hand up and diggle it about you soon get the hang of it
16:23i know you're very excited you might even be having a nervous breakdown i don't know i'm no expert
16:29but you must really try and see that this isn't going to work get that on it isn't going to work
16:33what's the matter what's the matter i'm not doing it you want to be in a marx brothers film that's
16:37your problem i'm not interested not interested no this is all your fault my fault you said to say
16:42she was ill you were the one who invited them to come up here they didn't even want to you be
16:46civil you get into the bed i'm too big i've got a mustache what's this supposed to be a great big
16:51hairy bogey it's something you get when you're pumped up i'll ruin you you'll never waitress in talking
16:58again waitress that's a joke i help out at reception i clean the rooms i deal with the tradesmen i mend the
17:05switchboard i changed the fuses and if you think my duties now include impersonating members of your
17:10family you have got one more screw loose than i thought i'm not doing it do you understand you
17:15get yourself out of it it's nothing to do with me
17:17a hundred for the car all right now what now now hello he's no possible what he's not possible for me
17:47please come what is it it's tell me please come look i'm busy he tell me i not know to make a paella
17:52he tell me you tell him i tell him paella is a spanish not cockney stinking eel pie right
17:58i make the paella like my mama i'm not interested my mother's recipe is big in barcelona go away no
18:04please you come you come he called me ignorant log mother boy crump let go of me now look yes
18:11are you tell terry let you alone that's all uh yes french go on go away no no not you not you
18:17a big big big are we supposed to come up there uh yes in a moment and no no no no come on up now
18:24you know yes come on up yes she's just um you know touching up the worst bits and how is she feeling
18:30basil well um i woke her and told that you've come over and and she's very very uh pleased of course but
18:35she's uh very weak and her throat you know she has great difficulty expressing herself oh yeah makes
18:41a change she'll be able to see you in a moment she's pretty quick with the old well she's not
18:47bothering to make up for us is she oh no no no no no just um you know she asked me to thank you and
18:54to say how very much she's looking forward to seeing you all she can speak a little then can't
19:01she basil um not really no no i see what you mean no she she wrote that down actually on one of the
19:07uh postcards you know she keeps by the side of did you stamp it
19:10so do you have an ashtray oh yes i'll just get one alice oh no no no it's not it's not not at all
19:19stop a second
19:30mr falter mr falter
19:34he put mince in it he put bloody mince in it what have you done oh sorry sorry no i tell him
19:40he's a fisty go away go away what i do oh well this is fun isn't it roger no i mean who wants to go
19:52to the boozer or play golf when you can come to one of basil's dues come on roger it can't be easy
19:59for him with sibyl lying there ill well you know what i think about that what oh well i brought some
20:07nuts oh basil if you could just take the ashtray oh sorry never mind i'll get some more shall i
20:14no no no we've got the crisp are you sure i don't mind no no no no no no really oh okay um crisp alice
20:20oh thank you arthur no for me thank you but i'm sure uh kitty would you like it
20:24thank you lovely let's hold them here i'll just get a brush a basil brush
20:30broom broom
20:31what did you mean well they've had a row she's refused to come down he's embarrassed her into
20:39seeing us i'm not interested i'm not
20:46oh don't you bother came to me here we are right that's all
20:51basil basil perhaps she's ready now oh yes uh good idea yes i'll just have a look right
21:02it's not quite nearly anyone care for another chris do you like no
21:09oh no have you got a choc ice
21:14i'll put them there you know just just help yourself nice carpet bass oh thank you yes a bit
21:18worn now i thought that was part of the pattern
21:22nice paper basil oh thank you alice yes we got it together with the carpet oh with it
21:26that's right roger yeah well one of them will have to go my money's on the carpet
21:31you read a lot of oscar wilde do you roger yes i don't know i don't know if you ever see the molding
21:35out there but one of oh it's right it's all right don't worry don't worry i'll clean it up
21:40what time's the main feature lovely day for around the golf morning major yes
21:46anyone care to make up before no no we're going to see your civil major ah playing a match is she
21:52no no she's ill really quite ill oh she should be in bed you know yes she is we're going in to see
21:57her oh another lot in there with her is there uh may i introduce uh major garner oldest resident
22:02i don't know if you don't know if you don't know if you're welcome to talkie
22:07how do you feel about you it's all right she's ready now come on in yes not you
22:16hello darling don't try and speak the gang's here sorry you're not well so we thought we'd come and
22:23wish you happy anniversaries yeah happy anniversaries oh the hedge has fallen over you all right
22:29rich you've done my ankles oh dear you're all right careful it's so dark in here bloody lights not
22:35worse who's that me it's kitty where are you dear oh we have some light in here yes all right hang on
22:43are you all right here here we are okay now the lights on we can see the screen oh dear are you
22:51all right kitty yes you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble bad come on come on up here okay
22:58you both all right come on come on around there okay you can see her from there okay everything all
23:03right here's all right here she is oh yes there's something there i don't see it moving it's a bit
23:10dark basil yes well her eyes are very sensitive she's got her glasses yes well i'll just draw the
23:15curtains yes yes yes i know the idea trust me yes trust me trust me there we are is that better
23:23happy anniversary oh dear how are you feeling dear oh it's a shame oh you're very swollen
23:39her thighs the thighs he brought you a cake oh yes no no have a little bit oh have a little bit
23:46yes well i think she's feeling a little bit tired now it's all that waving and wear anyone out
24:05what's in her mouth that white stuff just foam you know from
24:09from uh from the comic cycle 15 years eh what is it what is it i just remembered something downstairs
24:20you stay here have a chat with polly civil civil i'll just jump him out a chat does anyone know semaphore
24:32hello dear i came back from my clamps basil i nut stain oh aren't you okay what
24:39i'm sure you know best you don't even want me to do you um what's that
24:4715 years i've been with you when i think what i might have had 15 years god
24:54you want me to go don't you oh no but you've obviously made your mind up so
24:59i won't forget this basil won't you do no i won't
25:04i'm going now basil i think it's best don't you all right
25:10bye basil
25:14drive carefully dear get well soon look after yourself we'll have a little party when you're
25:20feeling better you know i don't like leaving you like this dear let me just have a little feel
25:28just to see if now now now now don't don't be frightened no i'm not going to hurt you
25:33now just feel your glands dear now don't be silly sibyl just trust me it's for your own good now don't be
25:42silly
25:42what's going on what's going on she hit me basil what i was trying to examine her she lashed out
25:51don't don't hit our friends i know you're not feeling i'm sorry she's not herself today don't
25:57worry the doctor will be happy here soon i'll give you a call tell you what he says so um
26:02anyone care for another drink of no no we ought to be going
26:06it's going to be it's quite nice okay
26:07they're all the same dear they're all the same believe me oh i know i know
26:18nothing to get all about it we're going to have a nice game of golf and then go out to dinner
26:22if did you get your clubs
26:34well honestly nice to have seen you all thanks for coming
26:38not at all uh we've seen this more often you know when they're fit again yes yes sorry about
26:43all the injuries still um you know perhaps when sibyl's a bit better we can all um get together
26:47and you know have a proper room how extraordinary are we just talking about you uh basil faulty we
26:58met once at a fate let me show you where it is how is the north have you been up there at all
27:02recently
27:08i'll have to kill him
27:17what a coincidence uh she's thinking of buying one of our fridges well lovely to have seen you i'm
27:28sorry about the the ankle why i dress sorry yes keep keep the head right back
27:36great fun
27:37peace of cake now comes the tricky bit
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