- 3 months ago
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00:01Norman Stanley Fletcher, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court,
00:06and it is now my duty to pass sentence.
00:09You are an habitual criminal who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard
00:13and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner.
00:17We therefore feel constrained to commit you to the maximum term allowed for these offences.
00:22You will go to prison for five years.
00:30. . .
00:47Come on, girl, pause it out, come on, love.
00:50Pause it out, love.
00:52Come on, my little beauty, you can do it.
00:55Come on, darling.
00:56You can do it, my little son. Come on, squeeze it out.
00:59Come on, son. Come on, my little son.
01:01Here, hang on a minute. Hang on. What's all this, son?
01:03It's a girl, ain't it, you nurk, my son? What are you talking about?
01:05How do you know it's a girl?
01:06Oh, they're all girls, ain't they, Ives?
01:08Oh, are they?
01:09Of course they are. All hens is females, ain't they?
01:11You're males, you're cock, ain't it?
01:12Oh.
01:13There's a hell of a lot more females than males, then.
01:16Of course there are. That's why your cock always looks so smug, doesn't he?
01:18Always knows a friend he's got a bandit play.
01:20Hence the expression, cock's your, ain't it?
01:23Hey, listen, Fletcher, mine's looking intimate.
01:26Inament? What?
01:27Yeah, go on. She's dropped off, she has.
01:29Oh, do you want to double the bench?
01:31Yeah, if you like, yeah.
01:32Right, done.
01:33Done?
01:34You certainly have been.
01:35Why?
01:36Look at that. Jackpot.
01:37There you are.
01:38Thank you, my little darling, and thank you, Ives.
01:41Here, listen to what.
01:43Double a quits, eh?
01:44Which hands have you been?
01:45Go on, fair's fair, double a quits.
01:46All right.
01:47Erm, that one.
01:50It's that one, is it?
01:51Oh, that's the one, isn't it?
01:52Look at that.
01:53Oh, that's not funny, Fletcher.
01:54Not funny at all.
01:55Can't take a yolk, some people, can I?
01:56Oh, what are you going to do with it now, eh?
01:57Go and shake hands with him.
01:58Go on.
01:59Oh dear, what a loser, eh?
02:00Poor old Ives, what a loser.
02:01You know, if Elizabeth Taylor had had triplets, and he was one of them, he'd be the one in
02:03the middle on the bottle.
02:04Oh, you know, you ain't a loser really, are you, eh?
02:05Oh, you ain't a loser really, are you, eh?
02:06No.
02:07You should have won by right, shouldn't you?
02:08If I hadn't cut off your axis.
02:09Oh, look at that.
02:10It's a beautiful one, you know.
02:11It's a beautiful one, you know.
02:13Look at that, it's a beautiful one.
02:14Look at that.
02:15Look at that, it's a beautiful one.
02:17Look at that.
02:18Look at that.
02:19That's a beautiful one.
02:21Now, I can't take a look at that.
02:22It's a beautiful one, you know.
02:23Right now, eh?
02:24Go and shake hands with him.
02:25Go on.
02:26Oh dear, what a loser, eh?
02:27Poor old Ives, what a loser.
02:29if I hadn't cut off your axis.
02:32Look at that, it's a beautiful one now.
02:34How do you get them so egg-shaped?
02:36Nice, hang on a minute.
02:38Hang on.
02:44Now then, girls,
02:45this is what's known
02:47as one of the perks of the job.
02:49Now, with these eggs I'm smuggling in here,
02:51I can get myself a quarter-ounce of shag,
02:54or two tubes of toothpaste,
02:57or three bars of fruit and nut,
02:59or I could take them down to E-Wing
03:01and see Smutty Garland, the king of the porn,
03:03exchanging my two of his dirty books.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Full of full-frontal naked new bars.
03:10I think I'd rather have to fruit and nut myself.
03:11Oh, God, you're messy, ain't you?
03:28You eat like pigs and all.
03:32Here, just a minute.
03:33Can you lot run?
03:34That's a thought, innit?
03:36Pig racing.
03:37Yeah.
03:38Like a nice little flat there, wouldn't it?
03:39The Slade prison selling plate for pigs.
03:45The raw Cheltenham pork cup.
03:47Yeah.
03:48Yeah.
03:49No, it's a nice thought, innit?
03:50Yeah.
03:51I could run a book, couldn't I?
03:54Become an owner.
03:55I could have me own stable.
03:56Style.
03:58Thought appeals.
03:59Thought appeals.
04:02Fake and handicap.
04:03Fake and handicap.
04:05Fake and handicap.
04:06Hello, darling.
04:11You trying again, are you?
04:13Oh, morning, Fletcher.
04:14Eh?
04:15Oh!
04:17I thought it was...
04:18Oh, yeah.
04:19How are you, all right?
04:20Here, that man Ives, what was he doing round here?
04:22Eh?
04:22Ives?
04:23Oh, he just popped in on his way to the silos, Mr. Barraclough.
04:26Not taking bets, was he?
04:28Bets?
04:29Oh, but it has been suspected, is Harry Grouch's runner.
04:31Runner, Mr. Barraclough?
04:33Runner?
04:33Well, for taking the bets.
04:34Oh, I see.
04:35You see, Harry Grouch's a long-term prisoner.
04:36He's not the pleasantest of characters.
04:38And he seemed to exert a sort of unhealthy influence, you know.
04:43We're pretty sure he runs not only the gambling, but the tobacco in this prison.
04:47Oh, really?
04:48I'm telling you this, Fletcher, you see, because you're a good chap.
04:51And I don't want you to get sucked into that circle.
04:54Oh, I have no fear on that score, Mr. Barraclough.
04:56No, no, no.
04:57Gambling appalls me.
04:58I've seen its consequences too often.
05:00It's like a plague in this prison.
05:02Yeah, my poor old mother.
05:03Yeah.
05:04It's not one of my vices, you see.
05:05I've got other things to do.
05:06Here, do you reckon pigs can run?
05:08Run?
05:09Yeah.
05:09Can they be trained to run like, you know?
05:11Why?
05:12Well, I don't know.
05:14I just thought, well, I thought they might like a little run, you know, instead of having
05:19to walk everywhere like us pedestrians, you know what I mean?
05:21Like a bit of exercise, you know.
05:23Oh, it is encouraging to see you taking an interest in your fellow creatures.
05:27Yeah.
05:27Oh, don't sit down there, Mr. Milner.
05:29Sorry, you might dirty your suit there.
05:30Don't sit there.
05:31Let me get you a chair, eh?
05:32There we are.
05:33That's very considerate of it.
05:35No, we're talking too much.
05:36Oh, there you are.
05:38All right.
05:39Oh, gold.
05:40Oh, sorry.
05:40Well, you seem to be settling in down on the farm.
05:43Yes, yes.
05:44Oh, yes.
05:44Well, I resented it a bit first, you know, because I've never been what you might call
05:48a rural man, you know what I mean?
05:50I've always had a deep-seated mistrust of animals.
05:53Oh, but I thought you told the governor you had a keen interest in farming and livestock.
05:57Oh, yeah, farming and livestock.
05:58Yeah, it's just the animal side of it I don't like much.
06:00Well, you're very lucky to be here, you know.
06:04I mean, it's normally a trustee gets a job like this.
06:07It's a privileged position.
06:08Oh, don't think I don't appreciate it, Mr. Barrowcluckman.
06:10I'm sure you had something to do with it and all, didn't you?
06:12Knowing your kind and generous nature.
06:14Yeah, say no more, say no more.
06:16When are you going to get me that single self?
06:18Not in my power, did you?
06:20You see, I'm not a sharer, really.
06:22You know, I've got S. Lop and Evans in there.
06:24There's no rapport.
06:26There's no intellectual stimuli, you know what I mean?
06:28He's a funny chap, that Evans, isn't he?
06:30Is he still eating light bulbs?
06:31Oh, no, no, he's got a taste for something completely different now.
06:33He ate my shaving mirror yesterday.
06:36No, well, I'm afraid there's little I can do, you know, and it's wrong of you to ask me.
06:40Oh, no, wait, Mr. Barrowclough.
06:41Now, please, I don't want you to think that I am trying to influence you in any way or coerce you or...
06:47Well, I hardly like to use the word at all, really, um, bribe you.
06:51I mean, good heavens, you are specially chosen by the Home Office for your honesty and your integrity.
06:58I suppose a dozen eggs won't make any difference for you.
07:02No, I shouldn't have asked. No, I'm sorry.
07:17Lovely day for it.
07:28You won't be getting it for a long time.
07:32You obviously haven't made it for a long time.
07:34Here you are, lukewarm.
07:50Three dozen and two.
07:52What? What's wrong with these ends that you're taking over?
07:54Shell shock?
07:55All right, it's nothing new.
07:56Thieving again, are you, Fletcher?
07:57Now, now, Mr. Appleton, there's no need for that sort of defamatory, is there?
08:01Always pilfering the whole lot of you.
08:03Oh, now, come on, I resent that remark, Mr. Appleton.
08:05I mean, I may have done some bad things in my life, I wouldn't be in here otherwise,
08:08but petty sneak-keeping isn't my style. It's not my style at all.
08:12All right, all right.
08:14Here, Lenny.
08:15Has anyone been in with a message for me?
08:21Yeah.
08:22A bloke come in earlier and he said Harry Grout said permission granted.
08:25Oh, did he?
08:26Oh, good.
08:26Permission for what?
08:27Permission to hold a game.
08:29What game?
08:29Shh, keep your voice down.
08:32What game?
08:33A game of chance, my son.
08:35How do you mean?
08:36Oh, for God's sake, God, but a flutter, a gamble.
08:39A gambling ain't allowed.
08:44Of course it ain't flaming allowed.
08:45That's precisely why we do it, innit?
08:49Why'd you have to get permission off this grout?
08:51Oh, dear, come on, God.
08:52But how long have you been in this, Nick, eh?
08:54A week.
08:54Haven't you learned anything yet?
08:55Look, officially, as we know, this hotel is run by a governor, innit, eh?
09:00Appointed by the Home Office, name of Mr. Venables, right?
09:03But in truth, we know different, don't we?
09:05In truth, we know that genial Harry Grout could bring this place to a standstill if he so wished, right?
09:12What you play for?
09:13Big steaks?
09:14Yeah, if we can nick any out of meat safe, yeah.
09:18No, no, no, we play for, er, we play for anything negotiable.
09:22Snout, mostly.
09:23I tell you, whatever it is, it won't be chicken feed.
09:26It's a pity, because I got a lot of that.
09:30I've noticed blokes are always betting on something.
09:32I suppose it's their way of generating excitement to counter the misery of their monotonous existence.
09:37You know what?
09:37Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:38Well, you see, it's not the excitement of winning or losing, is it?
09:41It's the pleasure of doing it right under the screws' noses, innit?
09:44Surreptitious, like, right?
09:45There's two blokes next to me.
09:46They've had a bet on how many bricks there are in this house.
09:48Oh, yeah, that's commonplace, that is.
09:50I can't think of study.
09:51It's driving me mad listening to them.
09:53Recounts have to recount.
09:55341, 342.
09:56Yeah, well, blokes in stir, you see, they'll bet on anything, you know,
10:00two flies crawling up a wall, or the numbers of the ims in the chapel,
10:04two flies crawling down a wall.
10:06I'll tell you, there was a big game in D-Wing last night.
10:09Didn't you notice the atmosphere in the air?
10:10The tension, it was electric.
10:12Tension, yeah, I noticed that.
10:13But I thought it was because it was Tuesday,
10:15and that's the night the female social worker comes round.
10:20What, gruesome Glenda?
10:21Oh, dear.
10:22With a bicycle and the brogues.
10:25You'd be hard-pushed to have an erotic fantasy about that one, wouldn't you?
10:28I don't know.
10:29Nifty Small's in love with her.
10:30Is he?
10:31He stole her bicycle saddle.
10:38I bet the ride back was a bit painful for her, wouldn't you?
10:43He won't have that long, though.
10:44They'll soon find that.
10:45Under his pillar?
10:46I bet he won't.
10:48All right, you're on.
10:48How much, two fags?
10:50Eh, no, I'm not gambling.
10:51My mother said gambling would get me into trouble.
10:53Oh, did she?
10:55May have escaped your notice, son, but you're in prison, ain't you?
10:58Your mother's too late, you are in trouble, ain't you?
11:00Well, nevertheless, I ain't gambling.
11:02I ain't standing there watching flies go up and down a wall or counting bricks.
11:06Gambling's one thing I'm going to resist inside.
11:09I'll bet you can't.
11:10Oh, yes, I can.
11:11I'll bet you a bar of soap you can't.
11:13I bet I can.
11:13There you are.
11:14You see, you bet you wouldn't bet, so you lost your bet, ain't you?
11:16Eh?
11:16Eh?
11:17It's a bar of soap, you owe me.
11:18Work that out.
11:19Where are you off to, Ives?
11:23Oh, well, I've just got the spuds, Mr Appleton.
11:25All right, get on with it, then.
11:26Got the spuds, Mr Owens?
11:27Yeah, I, uh, here, listen, Fletcher.
11:29What?
11:29How much do they weigh, then?
11:32You know already, don't you?
11:33No, of course I don't.
11:34There's no scales out there.
11:36All right.
11:37What's the bet, then?
11:38All the eggs you've got in there.
11:41You crafty nerd.
11:42All right, against what?
11:44Ounce of snap?
11:45You're on.
11:46What about you, son?
11:47You in?
11:47I know.
11:48Right.
11:49Near this one, eh?
11:49Near this one, eh?
11:5423 pounds.
11:55I'll say 27.
11:56You gave that a lot of thought, didn't you?
11:58Well, uh, just over 27.
12:01Well, would you believe it?
12:03Just over 27.
12:05Yep.
12:06Now, get off.
12:06You knew that.
12:07You knew that already, didn't you?
12:08Yeah, now, listen, I'm no cheat.
12:10What?
12:10You're in here for fraudulent conversion.
12:12What are you talking about?
12:13Now, I'm not straight for the career, then.
12:15Listen.
12:16It's your career cheating.
12:17What are you talking about?
12:17Come on here, listen.
12:18All right, here.
12:18You are a crafty, conniving nerd.
12:21What a bad loser.
12:24Yeah, it's easy to come in, Andy.
12:25Yeah?
12:26I know grouty, don't I?
12:27Do you?
12:27It doesn't do to a big grouty.
12:29There you are, then.
12:29Five.
12:30Now, nap off.
12:32Morning, Mr. Afton.
12:33Morning, Mr. Afton.
12:33Fletcher.
12:34What are you doing, Likes?
12:35I've just brought the spuds, Mr. Mackay.
12:37Where are you going, Fletcher?
12:38Pig's wool.
12:39What?
12:41Just going to give the pigs their swill, Mr. Mackay.
12:43Little fellas need their swill this time of day.
12:45All right, just a minute.
12:51I swept all this, Mr. Mackay.
12:53Come here.
12:53Oh, come here.
12:54I'm sorry, I thought you meant that.
12:55I'm told that your chickens are on short time.
13:00I'm told that since you arrived on the farm, egg production has fallen drastically.
13:05Well, it's not my fault, Mr. Mackay.
13:06Perhaps the ends are in a foul mood.
13:08Well, just don't you come up with me, Fletcher.
13:14What have you got here?
13:15Crown jewels.
13:16Chicken meal, Mr. Mackay?
13:18Empty it.
13:19Ives, stand still.
13:24Empty it?
13:25Empty it.
13:26Well, it'll make a terrible mess, Mr. Mackay.
13:28Got what?
13:30Don't move.
13:33Empty it.
13:34All right, Fletcher, just don't let me catch you.
14:03It's evening, that's all.
14:04I won't.
14:05You won't what?
14:07I won't let you catch me, Mr. Mackay.
14:10All right.
14:11Where are you going?
14:12Yeah, listen.
14:13Heart of a line.
14:15I'm behind that, Mr. Mackay.
14:16Still got them turnips.
14:17Come here.
14:18Yes.
14:19Come here.
14:21Come on.
14:25Now.
14:25You're a bit of a jackdaw yourself, aren't you, Ives?
14:30First time you were caught in the kitchen, you were trying to steal a meat cleaver.
14:34Only to sharpen me pencil, Mr. Mackay.
14:37No, no, it wasn't.
14:39It was to be used to persuade your cellmate to part with his Pirelli calendar.
14:43Now, what have we got today?
14:50A meat skewer, maybe?
14:53Eh?
15:02Call me.
15:03That's right.
15:04Looks like the yolk's on you, son.
15:12All right, how about that?
15:26All right, here we go.
15:29Oh, yeah, ma'am.
15:32Hey, yes, yes, yes.
15:35Come on.
15:37Here, Evans, have you eaten my shoe polish?
15:45No.
15:47No, of course I haven't.
15:48Are you sure?
15:49Of course I'm sure.
15:50What do you eat your shoe polish for?
15:51Oh, I don't know.
15:52Maybe it might make my shaving mirror go down a bit easier.
15:56Here, listen.
15:57Oi, oi, oi, don't we not, don't we not?
15:59No, no, no, no.
15:59Here, listen, the word is you've got a game going.
16:01Would you mind saying that a bit louder?
16:02I don't think they quite caught that in Ewing.
16:04Why don't you go and bellow it from the bleeding rooftops?
16:06Go on.
16:07Oh, it's all right.
16:07The screws are brewing up.
16:09You're about as subtle as an air raid, you all right?
16:11No, no, no, no.
16:11Here, listen.
16:12Is it, Jen, that you've got a game put together?
16:14Yeah.
16:15Oh, I'm going to give the OK, did he?
16:17At a price, yeah.
16:18When is it?
16:19When?
16:20Saturday afternoon, when the world is watching Grandstand
16:22and the screws are playing Ewing at football.
16:25Can I come in?
16:26No, sorry, son, full house.
16:28Who's in, then?
16:29Me, and Mr Heslop up there, Luke Warm from the kitchen.
16:33Oh, and Mr Evans here, providing he don't eat the dice.
16:36Oh, it's dice, is it?
16:38Yes, yes, possibly, possibly, yes.
16:39I've said enough.
16:40Now, listen here, Fletcher, you can squeeze one more in.
16:43Not your sort of eyes.
16:44Now, listen here.
16:44Now, listen, it's all fixed up.
16:46It's all arranged.
16:46So why don't you nap off, eh?
16:48You're telling me you're going to get a game set up in here, in this place?
16:52What, you haven't got a snowballs?
16:54Gambling in here?
16:55It's the same in any nick, and it's just a question of integrity.
16:58Where is the world as a wife?
17:00You're so leery, aren't you, Fletcher?
17:02There may have been a doddle in your last nick, but they cut off your privileges in here for
17:05the toss of a coin.
17:06I've had my privileges cut off.
17:08Have you?
17:08Hasn't affected your voice, has it?
17:15You have your guts for garters in here, if they see you're gambling with anything.
17:19I mean, drafts, dominoes, even that what's it?
17:21That game of the wooden spelling.
17:23Scribble.
17:23Yeah, Scribble, that and all.
17:25I mean, Benham has just come down like a ton of bricks ever since the earwig derby.
17:30The earwig derby?
17:32Yeah, the earwig derby.
17:33The earwig derby, yeah, it's tragic, that.
17:35What's the earwig derby?
17:37When was that then?
17:38Well, that's the earwig season, wasn't it?
17:39Oh, was it?
17:40Oh, well, yeah.
17:40Well, it was organised by Grouty, of course, very much on the line to the jockey club.
17:44I mean, handicaps, eliminators, then it's September, the grand finale.
17:47Well, the derby, eight yards across the laundry floor.
17:51I mean, the whole prison was on.
17:53Until, of course, Mackay finds out, didn't he?
17:55Ah, we never knew.
17:57What did he do?
17:58He put his foot down.
18:01Yeah, right on top of them.
18:04No need for that, we're not there.
18:06No, no, no.
18:07Well, it's dice, is it?
18:09Eh?
18:10Oh, good morning, Mr. Eslop.
18:11Good morning.
18:11You're with us, are you?
18:12You never told me it was dice.
18:14Yes, I did.
18:15I told you yesterday.
18:16It's obviously just permutated, innit?
18:19Hey, listen, Fletcher.
18:20You stand no chance.
18:21No chance at all.
18:23Oh, on the contrary, I think that geraniums do very well in the chalky soil.
18:26Providing you give them plenty of moisture, you know, and don't let the cat near them.
18:28Oh, hello, Mr. Barrett.
18:29I didn't hear you coming.
18:31Yeah, yes.
18:32Oh, and Ives, up to no good.
18:33Yeah, yeah, listen.
18:34Well, you usually are, it has to be said.
18:35No, Mr. Ives and I just found we've got a mutual interest in geraniums.
18:38Oh, yes, geraniums.
18:39Very nice little fella.
18:40Just my cousin used to breed them.
18:42Grown.
18:42Grown.
18:42Really, well, I'm a bit of a haughty culturalist myself.
18:48Are you?
18:48Oh, oh, God.
18:50There's no time to go into that now.
18:52No, no, more's the pity.
18:53Come on, Evans.
18:55Time for your visit to the psychiatrist.
18:57What?
18:58Here, listen.
18:59You still trying to work your ticket by eating things?
19:00Yes, he is.
19:01He's playing havoc with my personal possessions and all.
19:03Playing havoc with my digestion, too.
19:07Here, listen, Fletcher.
19:08What?
19:08Where'd you get the dice?
19:10Oh, Luke one made them out of pastry in the kitchen.
19:13He baked them, yeah.
19:14Won't he break?
19:15No, not his pastry.
19:18I'm very fond of geraniums.
19:22And I ask things like that.
19:25Not that we ever had a garden.
19:27My house just had a yard.
19:30A yard with a bicycle and a ringer in it.
19:33But the wife's sister's house in sick cup.
19:37That has a rioter colour.
19:39And what with his vegetables, she never had to want for nothing.
19:48Was that it?
19:49That's it, wasn't it?
19:53Comes in short bursts like that, you know.
19:56These little poignant anecdotes from the rich pageant of Mr Eslop's past.
19:59Now, the patient's strong as cell block 11, they call him.
20:03You can see how lucky I am to be in here with him, can't you?
20:05Yeah.
20:05You can see why you dealt him in.
20:06No, no, no.
20:07Come on, first, man.
20:08First come, first serve.
20:10Listen, Fletcher.
20:10You'll never get away with it.
20:11What do you mean?
20:12I mean, you'll never organise this game and get away with it.
20:14It's organised, mate.
20:15Ah, but I bet you don't get away with it.
20:17All right.
20:17You put your money where your mouth is.
20:19I will do.
20:19Go on, then.
20:20How much?
20:20Try me.
20:21A biggie.
20:22If you like.
20:23Ah, big.
20:23Try me.
20:25Snout.
20:26Naturally.
20:27All right, then.
20:28Half a pound.
20:32Fair enough.
20:34Did you hear what I said?
20:36I said half a pound.
20:37I heard you.
20:38I mean, that's eight ounces.
20:40Oh, nice one, Einstein.
20:41Now, look here.
20:43Let's get this perfectly clear.
20:45And you're witness to this, Eslops.
20:46I'm betting you half a pound of snout so that you won't see the game through.
20:50You'd either get found out or busted or whatever.
20:53You're right.
20:54Oh.
20:55Well, all right, then.
20:58Well, that's it, then.
21:01Right, I'll be off, then.
21:03I should lay someone out off if I was you, my son.
21:10You've got a lot of bottle, Fletcher.
21:13A lot of bottle.
21:15I used to be a milkman, didn't I?
21:16Oh, there's my bloody polish.
21:20Look here.
21:21When I was doing bird in Shepton Mallet, we used to bet on the number of bricks there was in a cell.
21:30Oh, that was original.
21:31Yeah.
21:32How did you get on?
21:34All I know is there was over 37.
21:43Roomie, wasn't it?
21:44Roomie.
21:46Do you know what we had going in Maidstone?
21:48We only had roulette going, that's all.
21:50Only roulette, yeah.
21:51Only with a dartboard, see.
21:53We had, you could bet on the evens or the odds, you see, or the red or the black, or single numbers, or groups of numbers, you see.
22:01And the croupier, he was a bloke we just blindfolded and he threw the dart, right?
22:05It was marvellous.
22:06We used to play it in association hour.
22:08We'd bribe the screw to turn the blind eye.
22:10We had a great game we did.
22:11Mammoth.
22:13Classy, that roulette.
22:15Yeah.
22:15Pity it had to end so tragically.
22:17What happened?
22:19Well, one night the croupier got a bit careless, you know.
22:21Now the screw turns a blind eye to everything.
22:23You sure they won't find us in here?
22:43No.
22:44Lukewarm here assures us that they won't.
22:46Of course, him being a trustee, you see, he's got access to the Coke store keys.
22:49Cozy, isn't it?
22:50They'll never look down here today.
22:51No, because officially, you see, we're supposed to be watching E-Wing play the screws at football.
22:55A game which should command quite a bit of attention.
22:58And the attention of the hospital as well later on, the way they go at each other.
23:01Oh, yeah.
23:02Yeah, should be quite a bloodbath with any luck.
23:04I had hoped to persuade Tommy McCready to put forward his escape bid to today,
23:08because knowing Tommy, he's bound to cock it up and the diversion of the coming end.
23:13But he refused to be swayed, because as he says quite rightly,
23:16state this country's in, you can't rely on the trains at the weekend, you know.
23:19I didn't know Tommy was going over the wall.
23:23Oh, yes, common knowledge.
23:25Domestic problems.
23:26Yeah, his wife's got nerves or something.
23:28Things getting on top of her, are they?
23:29No, quite the reverse.
23:30She's sleeping with a limbo dancer.
23:34Limbo dancer?
23:35Black, is he?
23:36Black.
23:36Black and blue, I think the way she goes on.
23:37She is.
23:38I don't know why she is.
23:40Oh, before I forget, a little something to nibble on later on.
23:43Oh, lovely.
23:43I haven't had a square bill for ages.
23:45Yeah, not since my shaving mirror.
23:48You spoil us, you know, lukewarm.
23:50I wish I'd had a mother like you.
23:51I might have gone straight.
23:52Or bent.
23:55Are you mine now?
23:56No, you can't eat yours now.
23:58He's just like a big kid, isn't he, eh?
24:00As soon as you get outside your front door,
24:01you want to start the picnic, don't you, now?
24:03You just wait, Mr. Estock.
24:04Now, first of all, rules, all right?
24:06First of all, stakes.
24:07Now, the minimum stake is one fag, all right?
24:10You can't raise more than half the kitty.
24:12Now, two losers.
24:13We've got to have losers, haven't we?
24:14You've got 24 hours to cough up.
24:16Otherwise, Mr. Estock here comes along
24:18and gives you a little reminder, see?
24:20Just like the post office, yeah?
24:21The post office?
24:22Yeah, he sticks one on you.
24:24No, I don't know.
24:25What?
24:26Are we all right, then?
24:27Right, right.
24:28And the game?
24:29The game, gentlemen.
24:30The game is snakes and ladders.
24:36Really?
24:37I knew something was up, Mr. Barracroft.
24:39My antennae taught me.
24:41I know one of the big deal at Dodge City in this place.
24:46I sometimes think it's a waste of our manpower
24:48to try and crack down on gambling.
24:50I mean, men will gamble.
24:53Gambling leads to debts.
24:54Debts lead to ill-feeling, antagonism, lack of discipline.
24:58Did your antennae tell you where this game's taking place?
25:01No, that was Ives.
25:02Horrible Ives.
25:04No honour among thieves.
25:05Not when gambling's at stake.
25:07That's why it has to be stamped out.
25:09What about it?
25:11We're getting warmer.
25:14Hmm?
25:14They're down there.
25:17What, in the boiler house?
25:19In the cook store.
25:22Well, should we...
25:25No, no.
25:26Wait a moment.
25:28I have arranged for a special delivery.
25:31There we go.
25:31There we go.
25:32Mr. Barracroft.
25:33No, no.
25:34No, no.
25:35Listen.
25:36Cheers to this!
25:36Cheers for that.
25:37Cheers to this!
25:37Cheers to this!
25:51Cheers to this!
25:52Cheers to this!
25:54Whoa!
25:55Welcome to the Thank you!
25:56Come to theiry for the acting!
25:57Welcome to the Black and White Minstrel Show.
26:24Evening, Mr. Fletcher.
26:27I heard that this time, the coke was on you.
26:35I have very winning the drive.
26:36You're full of that irrepressible liver puddley and whip we've all had about, aren't you?
26:39Yeah.
26:40What's the government have to say?
26:42He said, I've betrayed his trust.
26:44He said, I've forfeited my privileged position on the farm.
26:47He said, I've forfeited all my privileges for the next four weeks.
26:51Also said, I was an evil influence.
26:53Not the sort to be sharing a cell with Eslop and Evans.
26:55So he's moving me to a single cell.
26:58Oh, dear, Al Xadjic.
26:59I am sorry.
27:00All right, don't give me all that.
27:01I know you've grasped eyes.
27:03I know you've informed on us, as does the entire prison.
27:06As you will find out when you take your first turn round the exercise yard.
27:11Oh, I'm not saying there'll be any unpleasantness.
27:13But if I was you, I'd try and borrow a pair of shin pads from the PT instructor.
27:16Now, hey, listen, Fletcher.
27:19Not that I hold anything against you, you horrible, contemptuous little git, you.
27:24You was just a pawn in my grand strategy, that's all.
27:26No, never mind about that.
27:27There's still the bet.
27:28There's still the bet.
27:28You owe me, Fletcher.
27:30That's true.
27:30That's true.
27:31And it may be some small consolation to you in the grim nightmare of your days ahead.
27:36All right, Fletcher.
27:37Yes, sir.
27:39Here, listen, Fletcher.
27:40Do a deal with you.
27:40You take the heat off me and I'll forget about the bet we're even.
27:44I mean, you're not going to be able to raise half a pound of snout anyway, are you?
27:47No problem.
27:48I've taken out my winnings.
27:49Winnings?
27:50What winnings?
27:50Win a few, lose a few.
27:52While you was betting me half a pound of snout, I bet the entire landing I'll be in a single cell by Sunday.
27:58I'm going to be wrong with you.
28:10I'm going to be wrong with you.
28:40I'm going to be wrong with you.
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