- 3 months ago
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00:00Norman Stanley Fletcher, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by this court, and it is now my duty to pass sentence.
00:10You are an habitual criminal who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner.
00:18We therefore feel constrained to commit you to the maximum term allowed for these offenses.
00:23You will go to prison for five years.
01:12Hello, Fetch.
01:16You was expecting me. They informed you.
01:18They informed me, yeah.
01:20Only temporary, they said.
01:21Your two rights are only temporary, Godbar.
01:23Single cell this is by right. It's mine.
01:25That's not my fault.
01:26No, I'm just saying.
01:28It's only temporary.
01:30All right, all right. Dump your stuff. Don't stand in my light. Go on, get out of it.
01:36Is this where you want me to sleep?
01:38What?
01:39Well, I presume I'm on the bottom bunk life. I mean, top bunk status in the nick.
01:42Yeah, of course it is. Yeah, you're on the bottom bunk, yeah.
01:45Well, if you wouldn't mind shifting your stuff, I could...
01:47What? Oh, dear.
01:49God almighty.
01:51It's not my fault.
01:52It's not my fault.
01:53So you keep saying.
01:54He had a riot on my landing.
01:57And my cellmate, Banksy, who was one of the ringleaders like, set fire to his mattress.
02:03And mine.
02:04Egg case, that, Banks.
02:06It's being transferred.
02:07Egg case.
02:08It weren't a bad bloke to share a cell with. He was always very nice to me.
02:13He showed me the ropes, taught me cribbage.
02:16Never displayed no violence.
02:18Oi, oi.
02:19He, er...
02:22He smuggled this kitten into his cell, and from the way he handled it, you could see the gentle side of his nature.
02:26You what?
02:27Before he lit his mattress, I heard he threw a screw off a top landing.
02:32Well, he weren't hurt. He hit the safety net.
02:36That gober is somewhat academic, innit?
02:39The fact remains that a 15 stone prison officer was hurled off the top landing by your cellmate, Mighty Joe Banks.
02:46Only because he said he couldn't keep the kitten.
02:49Well, that's hardly an excuse, is it, eh?
02:51Hardly an excuse.
02:53I can't see that cutting much ice with his parole board.
02:56Can't see the arm, myself.
02:57Well, look, it's rules.
02:58That's what the arm is.
02:59It's just rules, innit?
03:00It's prison procedure, innit?
03:02I mean, you can keep caged birds.
03:04Sometimes they let you keep caged birds, or insects in matchboxes.
03:07But not cats, and old Banksy knows that, the porridge he's done.
03:10Well, it's only a little kitten.
03:12Look, kittens differ from cats only in scale, don't they?
03:15They still have the same lavatorial tendencies.
03:20They'd pee on your blankets.
03:24I can't see the arm.
03:26Well, look, it's just rules, that's all. It's rules.
03:28Like, I've got rules in this cell, haven't I?
03:30Well, not so much rules as standards, really.
03:32I mean, while you're a temporary resident in here, you've got to abide by them standards, innit?
03:36Which are?
03:37You don't snore, you don't rabbit, and you don't pick your nose.
03:42Don't think I do any of them.
03:44Well, that's all right, then. We should get on passably well together, shouldn't we?
03:47Well, Banksy never complained, anyhow.
03:48Well, of course he didn't, an animal like him.
03:50Well, I don't.
03:51Well, that's all right, that's fine, you're sitting on my paper.
03:55Come on.
03:57Sorry.
03:58That's another thing and all, look, papers.
04:00You're allowed to read the paper, all right?
04:02But when, and only when, I'll finish with it, all right?
04:05All right?
04:06All right.
04:07Well, shift out of the way, then.
04:20I've got some grey darning thread.
04:22Yeah, what?
04:23I've got some grey darning thread, if you want that old soda.
04:27Oh, yeah.
04:32Tom.
04:34Your standards don't include sweaty feet, I notice.
04:41Man who's don't sweat in hell for you, is he?
04:44He's like a dog with a dry nose.
04:47You settling in all right?
04:50Yeah, I'm all right, yeah.
04:52Yeah, keep me pecker up.
04:53They can't grind me down, these nerks in here.
04:56Bide your time, that's what it's all down to, isn't it?
04:58Bide your time.
04:59I'm finding it very hard to adjust.
05:03It's all natural, isn't it?
05:05Manning cases.
05:06Bide your time.
05:08I don't mind work.
05:10And as I'm in the kitchen, I get plenty of grub, but, er...
05:14Well, the screws ain't bad, by and large, but...
05:17Oh, no night, sunshine.
05:19Charmless nook.
05:23Oh, I ain't put me shoes out to be polished.
05:26You know, this is the bit I can't stand.
05:28What?
05:29Lock hook.
05:31It's only quarter to eight.
05:33It's barely dark out there.
05:35If I was at home now, I'd just be getting ready to go out for the evening.
05:38Well, that's the point, isn't it, sonny?
05:41You're in here to be punished, ain't you, eh?
05:43You're in here to forego all them little pleasures that you took for granted over the years, ain't you?
05:47A comfy shirt, decent smoke.
05:50Night out.
05:52Night out.
05:56If you're keen, we could go out, you know?
05:59Oh, yeah.
06:00I could ring up a couple of birds, you know?
06:03Couple of them darlings that dance on top of the pops, you know what I mean?
06:07What are they called? Pants People, yeah.
06:09There's one special one.
06:10Beautiful Babs.
06:12I don't know what her name is.
06:14We could ring up and meet them at an Italian restaurant, couldn't we, eh?
06:20Up west. Lovely.
06:21Then we could go on from there somewhere.
06:23Night clubs, you know what I mean?
06:24Dance till dawn.
06:26Then back to their luxurious penthouse flat and wallop.
06:29Oh, dear.
06:31Trouble is, I'd done all that last night. I'm a bit knackered.
06:37Anyhow, we'd have to get all ponced up.
06:39You would have to darn the holes in me socks, wouldn't you?
06:42Why don't we just have a quiet night in, eh? All right?
06:45If you say so, Fletch.
06:47That's what you've got to tell yourself, just having a quiet night in, see?
06:51Trouble is, I've got 698 quiet nights in to go.
06:55Less than some.
06:57Do you think she'll wait?
06:59What?
07:00Do you think she'll wait?
07:02Who?
07:03Who?
07:04Denise, my fiancée.
07:05Oh, Denise, your fiancée, eh?
07:07Oh, dear.
07:08I don't know.
07:10I shouldn't think she'll wait in for 698 nights.
07:13Well, she's my fiancée.
07:14I know, but when she promised to love you forever,
07:16she didn't know she was going to be deprived of you in here for two years, did she?
07:19I can't sleep at night through thinking about her.
07:20You don't want to start any of that. Don't start any of that.
07:23All them thoughts, you've got to give them carnal thoughts.
07:26There's no good lying there thinking and twitching about what you're not going to get, no.
07:31Carnal thoughts.
07:32Give them the big E, see?
07:33Big elbow.
07:34The less you think about women, the better.
07:37God blimey, look at her.
07:46Beauty Queen shocks Council.
07:48Lovely Sharon Spencer, 22.
07:51She's more than 22, isn't she?
07:54Look at them, they're more like 44, ain't they?
07:58Each.
08:01Shocked the town council when they learned that she played the title role
08:05in the new sexational film, The Virgin and the Vicar.
08:10I wonder which she played.
08:13Had we known, said a council spokesman,
08:15we would never have crowned her floral queen.
08:18I don't know what all the fuss is about, said Sharon,
08:21a former convent girl whose hobbies include water skiing and carpentry.
08:28I am proud of my body and what I do with it in my spare time
08:31is none of the council's business.
08:34Wouldn't even get planning permission with that, would you?
08:36What was I saying?
08:39You were saying the less you think about women, the better.
08:42Oh, yeah, yeah.
08:43Carly thoughts.
08:44Carly thoughts are fatal, yeah.
08:46You know, she reminds me of Denise a bit.
08:48Huh?
08:49Which bit?
08:50No, Denise, my fiancée.
08:53You're not telling me that your Denise is a star of a silver screen, are you?
08:56Albeit a grubby one in the little back room.
08:58No, nothing like that.
08:59Not a model like them?
09:01No.
09:02Although I did take some provocative Polaroids of her
09:04when we were caravanning in the Gower Peninsula.
09:06Did you?
09:07Yeah, nothing mucky-like.
09:08You know, she was just, um, expressing herself, posing-like.
09:11You know what I mean?
09:13Look at that.
09:20Hey, watch it, son.
09:21What will the neighbours think, eh?
09:29Oh, it's all right.
09:30It's all right as far as I'm concerned, mate.
09:32They all know which side my bread's buttered.
09:34No, I'm not worried about it.
09:36It's you I'm worried about.
09:37You know, a young boy like you, a growing lad, can come to arm, you know.
09:40Oh, yeah.
09:41I mean, half the fairies round here would go into a frenzy if I saw you doing that, you know.
09:46I'm engaged to Denise.
09:47Well, that means naff all to them, doesn't it, eh?
09:49I mean, they're all engaged to each other, ain't they?
09:53No, no, I mean, Denise is a thing of the past, isn't she?
09:55She's just a photograph under your pillow.
09:57Just a, just a letter in your top pocket, right?
09:59Just a, a warm tingle in your loins.
10:02I mean, what?
10:05In your loins.
10:06What are loins?
10:10Look, you know when you're lying there in the middle of the night, thinking of Denise, right?
10:25And you're thinking of all the lovely times you've had together, yeah?
10:28Don't you get a little warm tingle?
10:30Yeah.
10:31Well, where you get it, that's your loins.
10:41I thought they were...
10:42There are lots of names going on.
10:43There are lots of names going on.
10:51She's a very physical girl, is Denise?
10:53Yeah.
10:54She was a beauty queen.
10:56Well, sort of.
10:58She was a finalist in the office machinery exhibition.
11:01Miss Duplicating, she was.
11:02Her picture was in the paper, and she'd become a pin-up of 2,000 sailors on an aircraft carrier in Gibraltar.
11:09They wrote to her, and they said, she was the girl they'd most like to have ink in their roller.
11:17That must have made you very proud, Lenny, my son, to think your Denise, your little fiancé, was a sexual fantasy of an entire aircraft carrier.
11:24I didn't know her then.
11:26That was before she moved to Smedic.
11:29Before that never-to-be-forgotten day in a supermarket where I met her in the bullring.
11:34That's in Birmingham.
11:36She was stamping special offer on giant-sized jars of pickled onions.
11:40And I come round the corner from sauces and condiments, and me wire trolley went over her foot.
11:46It was a magic moment.
11:48We both knew.
11:49And I said to her, I said straight off, I said,
11:51Will you meet me outside?
11:53And she said, all right.
11:54Gold preservers, govver, what?
11:57I mean, romance.
11:58How do you mean?
11:59It was beautiful.
12:00Yeah, I'm sure it was.
12:01All I'm saying is,
12:02I hope you'll find somewhere a bit more romantic next time, if you have your time again,
12:06to meet the love of your life.
12:08Oh, dear.
12:09Stamping special offer on giant-sized pickled onions.
12:12And bloody hell, it's not Romeo and Juliet, is it?
12:15Was your courtship any more romantic?
12:20No.
12:21No, I can't say it was really, no.
12:23No.
12:24I was a city boy like you.
12:26Mind you, it was just after the war, so I had a bit more space, you know.
12:29And it was mainly bomb sites.
12:32Of course, there was the cinema, too.
12:34There was the Muswell Hill Odeon.
12:37Or the back seat of a car.
12:39If I could open one.
12:40But we seem to have a bit more, I don't know, a bit more scope somehow, you know.
12:46I mean, these great big grey concrete forbidding tower blocks.
12:51I mean, there's no hiding place, is there, eh?
12:54Can't make love in a laundrette.
12:56We did.
12:57Oh, did you?
12:58Yeah, it was very quiet at the time.
13:02Oh, I'm glad to.
13:03That's a great relief, eh?
13:05I thought we had three bags full to do and it was bitter out.
13:07Well, that hardly qualifies you, does it, eh?
13:10Three bags full?
13:11Mind you, I don't know Birmingham meself.
13:13Now, my oldest, Ingrid.
13:15Ingrid?
13:16Oh, yeah, Ingrid, yeah.
13:17The old lady called her Ingrid after her famous film star, Ingrid Bergman,
13:20what was sweeping the country at the time.
13:22You know what I mean?
13:23But I just suppose you've ever heard of her, have you?
13:25Eh?
13:26Casablanca?
13:27For whom the bell tolls?
13:28Spellbound?
13:29Oh, I think I've seen that one on the telly.
13:30Oh, yeah?
13:31Yeah, is that the one where there's these scientists in a secret laboratory in Arizona
13:35and this bloke drinks a substance by mistake and turns into a werewolf
13:38and then he carries off the mad doctor's niece and does things to her in the catacombs?
13:43No.
13:46No, no, that definitely wasn't one of Ingrid's, no.
13:50I think I can say, without fear of contradiction,
13:52that Ingrid was never in no catacombs with no werewolf, no.
13:55My daughter Ingrid may have been, but...
13:58Not the lovely Miss Bergman, you know.
14:04Here, what were you going to say about your daughter Ingrid?
14:06Eh?
14:07Oh, was I?
14:08Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right, yeah.
14:10Now, my daughter Ingrid, my oldest, now this is between you and me, Gobba, right?
14:14She was actually conceived, er, in Igot Cemetery.
14:19You see, we wasn't married at the time.
14:21Mind you, we got married as soon as we knew little Ingrid was on the way, like, you know,
14:24but at the time we wasn't.
14:25And, er, we needed somewhere flat to consummate the passion we felt for each other.
14:32It's for a cemetery?
14:33Yeah.
14:34Oh, well, it's a very famous and historic cemetery, you know.
14:36Still seems a bit indecent to me.
14:38Well, it's not as indecent as supporting your local laundry, is it, eh?
14:41Oh, dear.
14:42Three bags full.
14:45Anyhow, it wasn't premeditated, because we originally went there to view, to view the tomb.
14:54We went there to view the tomb of Karl Marx, you see.
14:56Yeah.
14:57Because I was going through a political stage at the time, and I was also a bit randy, you know what I mean?
15:01My political career didn't really go further than scrawling on Viaduct walls.
15:06Yeah, I've done that.
15:07Have you?
15:08I painted Lenny Godbel of Denise Shorter on a warehouse wall.
15:10Denise Shorter?
15:11Yeah, my fiancée.
15:12Oh, that Denise Shorter.
15:13Oh, yeah.
15:14I couldn't...
15:15Oh, I ain't got me things off yet.
15:16No, it don't matter.
15:17Here, shove over some, will you?
15:18Come on.
15:19Oh, God!
15:20Limey!
15:21What's the matter?
15:22Something's hurt me foot, something's stuck in it.
15:24It must be my darling needle.
15:25Oh, what's it doing there?
15:26I was darling, you suck.
15:27Well, can't that wait till the morning.
15:28Oh, now you...
15:29You're trying on my other foot now.
15:30I didn't mean to.
15:31You've injured both my feet one at a time, Bobber.
15:32I didn't mean to.
15:33Well, get in the bed, will you, son?
15:34I ain't undressed yet.
15:35Look, just get in the bed till I get in the bed.
15:37You can get out and get undressed to get back in the bed, can't you?
15:39Oh, God!
15:40What's the matter?
15:41Something's hurt me foot, something's stuck in it.
15:42It must be my darling needle.
15:43Oh, what's it doing there?
15:44What's it doing there?
15:45What's it doing there?
15:46I was darling, you suck.
15:47Well, get in the bed, will you, son?
15:48I ain't undressed yet.
15:49Look, just get in the bed till I get in the bed.
15:50You can get out and get undressed to get back in the bed, can't you?
15:55Sippling enough, innit?
15:58No room to move about in these places.
16:00No privacy.
16:01Oh, dear.
16:04I bet you snore and all.
16:06You've done half rabbit.
16:14Do you want a licorice all sort?
16:15No, I don't want a licorice all sort.
16:16No, I don't want a licorice all sort.
16:19Where'd you get licorice all sorts?
16:22Swapped them for a pound of marja whipped from the kitchen.
16:25Learning, innitcha?
16:27Little victories.
16:28Yeah.
16:29You have told me that.
16:30Let's get some kip, shall we?
16:32Hey, Fletcher.
16:33What?
16:34Do you know what I've found useful since I've been inside?
16:37What have you found useful, copper?
16:39Well, I've started doing something that I haven't done since I was a kiddie.
16:42I've found it helps.
16:43Do you know what I do?
16:44I've shudder to think so.
16:45I pray.
16:46Oh, you pray?
16:47Yeah.
16:48I've sorted saying me prayers.
16:49Go preserve us.
16:50That's what I keep asking him.
16:51So if you don't mind...
16:52If you must.
16:53Dear God, thank you for getting me through another day.
16:54Thank you for the letter from Denise and the licorice all sorts.
16:56Please look after Denise in your infinite wisdom.
16:58And the same applies to me, ma'am, dad, wherever he is.
16:59And the Aunty Vi and Uncle Donald, Uncle Les and Aunty Conn.
17:03And me Aunty Rita in Newport, Pagnoll.
17:04Sissy and Stu.
17:05And the same applies to me, ma'am, dad, wherever he is.
17:10And me Aunty Vi and Uncle Donald, Uncle Les and Aunty Conn.
17:16And me Aunty Rita in Newport, Pagnoll.
17:18And me Aunty Rita in Newport, Pagnoll.
17:19And me Aunty, and Stu.
17:20And all the lads in the darts team at the Bell and Dragon.
17:23And Norman.
17:24And Frida, and Eros, Brindel, and the Greater to Melbourne.
17:27Here.
17:28Is this a prayer or a dedication on the Jimmy Young Show?
17:30And the Jimmy Young Show?
17:31I'm sorry.
17:32I'm sorry.
17:33I'm sorry.
17:34I'm sorry.
17:35I'm sorry.
17:36I'm sorry.
17:37I'm sorry.
17:38I'm sorry.
17:39I'm sorry.
17:40I'm sorry.
17:41I'm sorry.
17:42I'm sorry.
17:43I'm sorry.
17:44I'm sorry.
17:45I'm sorry.
17:46I'm sorry.
17:47I'm sorry.
17:48I'm sorry.
17:49I'm sorry.
17:50I'm sorry.
17:52But I'm sorry.
17:53And please God...
17:54Look after Fletcher.
17:55And forgive him for being such a bad-tempered, cantankerous old git.
18:17Oh
18:37You awake Fletch?
18:40No
18:47Me neither
18:52So your God in his infinite wisdom isn't giving you a peaceful night after all is he?
18:58Weren't one of the things I asked for. Oh, no true. That's true. That's true. I
19:03Shouldn't think he's getting much kip either all that list of you gave him to do
19:10All right, I'll be irreverent. Oh dear. You're changing your spots, ain't you?
19:13When you first came in here first day at reception, you didn't know whether you was C of E press B for flaming buddies, did you?
19:23Don't think he matters much. I just believe in God don't think he matters which lot you support
19:29I admit my beliefs only been revived since I come in here
19:33I used to pray when I was a kid
19:36When I was up in front of the juvenile court and when Villa looked like doing well in the cup I prayed then
19:40But I don't know it didn't seem to work out
19:47I got probation and Villa lost to Rotherham won nothing
19:51Typical ain't it, eh? People don't give a second thought do they, eh?
19:55As long as everything's chugging along all right, they carry on with scant regard to the Ten Commandments, don't they?
20:00Stealing, committing adultery, coveting each other's oxys
20:08Then suddenly wallop in the face of adversity, oh please God, please help your loyal and faithful servant
20:13Yeah, you're right, but I am in the face of adversity
20:17I hate prison Fletcher
20:19I hate the air of defeat and the smell of disinfectant
20:25I hate the noise and the keys and I hate not having a handle on the inside of that door
20:33Well, kids like you, they shouldn't be in prison should they, eh? Not really
20:37I mean it's the system, innit? You're not here to be reformed or rehabilitated are you?
20:42You're just here for public revenge, aren't you? Now with me it's a different kettle of fish, innit?
20:47To me it's a, well, it's occupational hazard, innit? Being as how my occupation is breaking the law
20:55Still, my family's never gone short, you know? I've got a wife and three kids, you know?
21:00What a bit of this
21:01I'm tough
21:02Yeah
21:03Wife and three kids, I'll show you their picture when it gets light
21:07Now my youngest, he's, er, he's just got into grammar school, you know
21:10Has he?
21:11Yeah, very expensive school, it's nice though, but it costs a lot, you know, books, equipment, all that sort of thing
21:18But when my son there went on the first day he went there, he didn't want for nothing
21:22Rugby boots, blazer, caps, scarf a lot
21:25Now he wouldn't have had them if his father had just been a struggling clerk, would he now, eh?
21:29No, reason he had them was because his father had just robbed a school outfit
21:38What would your son think if he knew the truth?
21:41Oh, I think that's why the blazer's a bit big
21:48So you just do it for your family then?
21:49Yeah, me old lady, yeah
21:5224 years we've been married, you know
21:55That's a hell of a long time, 24 years
21:57Of course we was married at 19, you see
21:59Yeah, of course it's too young, isn't it, yeah
22:02Well, that is Karl Marx and your eigensevery boy, isn't it?
22:05You must love her very much
22:07Yeah, well, yeah
22:08You know, because when you're asleep, like, he kept saying things
22:11Oh? What? What was I saying?
22:13Well, he just kept saying a name over and over, you know
22:16Oh, Gloria, my love
22:18Oh, Gloria, Gloria, my love
22:20Did I?
22:24Found it very moving, even though it woke me up
22:28Only thing is, my old lady's called Isabel
22:33And who's Gloria?
22:34Well, you may well ask
22:36Are you sure it was Gloria?
22:37Positive
22:38Gloria
22:39Gloria?
22:42Oh, yeah, there was a Gloria
22:43Of course there was a Gloria
22:45Yeah, of course there was once
22:46Well, lots of times, actually
22:50Was that before you met your Isabel?
22:52Well, no, to be honest, Lenny, no, no
22:54Mustn't, I mustn't, I mustn't be untruthful
22:56No, that was actually a bit of an indiscretion round about 1955, yeah
23:00You see, I happened to be then, at that time, king of the Teds in Muswell Hill
23:03And she, er, she was a machinist, what worked at a clothing factory
23:09So I used to go round her place, have me evil way of her
23:11And get me trousers narrowed at the same time
23:17I could never be unfaithful to Denise
23:19Oh, no, don't get the wrong impression
23:20Now, this was just an indiscretion, you see
23:22You have to realise my position
23:23I mean, you can't be king of the Teds
23:25And suddenly say around about 10 o'clock
23:27I'll have to go home to the wife now, can you?
23:29Especially when you just smashed up an amusement arcade
23:33So, you don't make a habit of indiscretions, don't you?
23:36No, I don't, of course I don't
23:37Isabel's my old woman and she knows it, all right?
23:43Then who's Sharon?
23:50Sharon?
23:52After Gloria, you're always moaning about Sharon
23:54Oh, God, I don't, I don't know no Sharon
23:57You were
23:57Oh, Sharon, she's the one on the wall, ain't she?
24:01Beauty Queen Shocks Council
24:02Oh, yeah, that's right, I was having a dream about her
24:05That's right, it's all coming back to me now
24:07Carnal thoughts?
24:08All right, all right
24:09No-one asked you to eavesdrop into my private dream, did they?
24:13Gobber
24:14There's one place you can get a bit of privacy inside prison, that is
24:18In your head
24:19You won't remember that, my son
24:21There's one place where you can get freedom, innit?
24:26Dreams is your escape, innit?
24:27There's no locked doors, there's no barriers, there's no frontiers
24:30No, dreams is freedom
24:32Freedom?
24:34Yeah
24:35No locked doors, is there?
24:38Oh, yeah
24:39Oh, yeah, you're right, Fletch
24:41Well, I'm going to get back to mine, I suggest you do the same
24:45Well, I will
24:46I will do, Fletch
24:48And thank you
24:49All right
24:50Good night
24:51Good night
24:52All right, then, where was I?
24:57Beauty Queen Shocks Council
24:59Oh, yeah, yeah
25:00The way she was performing in my dream, you could see why
25:04I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
25:34It's my alarm call.
25:36Oh, sorry, son.
25:39No, no, it's all right, Fletcher.
25:40It's my fault, it's your cell.
25:42Sorry if my head hits your foot.
25:47Sleep all right?
25:48Yeah.
25:49Very well since our midnight chat.
25:51Did you dream at all?
25:52Did you find that land of exotic fantasy, I promised you?
25:55Yeah.
25:57It was Denise and I.
25:58Yeah?
25:59We were in this laundrette and we got through five bagfuls without stopping.
26:04Did you?
26:06Trouble is this bloke come in and spoiled it.
26:08Oh, what great charmless note did that, eh?
26:11You did.
26:14Couldn't have been me, mate.
26:15I was with Sharon Spencer up the hook and all that.
26:20Um, Fletcher?
26:22Yeah?
26:23Um, well, in the rush of moving in here, like, I, uh, I mislaid something.
26:29Oh, yeah, what?
26:32Me toothpaste.
26:33Oh, yeah?
26:34Well, I was wondering, like, if I could have a loan of yours.
26:37A loan of my toothpaste?
26:39Yeah, well, just a squeeze, like.
26:41A loan of my toothpaste, Godba?
26:43Well, I'll give you a lick of a sauce, sort.
26:45Oh?
26:47I've got some left.
26:49Have you got that pink one with a coconut all right in it?
26:53Yeah.
26:54Oh.
26:55All right, then.
26:56Well, I suppose you ain't got no flaming shaving cream now, have you, Summonie?
27:11No, I just wanted to say thank you.
27:13What for?
27:15Well, for helping me out, like, you know, with advice.
27:18It's like that song, innit?
27:20Help me make it through the night.
27:21Oh.
27:22What song's that, then?
27:27I don't suppose you know it.
27:28No, I suppose it's a bit too contemporary for your era.
27:31I suppose being King of the Teds, you went more for, uh, Eddie Cochran and Conway Twitty.
27:35No, no, no.
27:36No, I was a bit more mellow than that.
27:37I used to like, uh, K-Star and, uh, Rosemary Clooney, weren't it?
27:43What was that lovely number, uh?
27:45Seeing the pyramids across the night.
27:50Who's that lovely one?
27:51That was Joe Stafford, wasn't it?
27:52Yeah.
27:53Don't know him.
27:56It's a girl, you know.
27:58Joe Stafford.
27:58Joe's a girl's name, innit, eh?
28:00Oh, dear.
28:01They don't make tunes like that anymore, though, do they, eh?
28:04A bit of melody in it, that, eh?
28:06Yeah.
28:06You're a sentimentalist at heart.
28:09You are.
28:10But I can see that underneath that gruff, unpleasant exterior, there's a kind man with feelings.
28:15Oh, bloody hell!
28:18Oh, oh.
28:19Is that my darning needle?
28:20I'll swing for you, Godber, I swear, I'll swing for you.
28:23What's going on here, then?
28:24Did you assault this man, Godber?
28:26No, he sat on me darning needle.
28:27Is that true, Fletcher?
28:28Now, fourth, can't you see I'm in agony?
28:30Why don't you get a moog on?
28:32Why don't you go home and see who's been sleeping with your old lady while you've been on night duty?
28:36Ha, ha, ha.
28:39Oh, that is original, Fletcher.
28:41I've been having that for the last seven years.
28:44So is she and all.
28:45Come on, Fletcher.
28:54Get off me.
28:55You can have this.
28:57I don't want them, no.
28:58I don't want them.
28:58No, go on, take them, no.
28:59It's a present line.
29:00He's been sleeping with your old lady.
29:02All right.
29:02I won't say no, son.
29:05It's meant as a thank you.
29:08Well, when that door's locked, I am depressed and I am afraid.
29:11And, well, you just make it a bit more tolerable, like.
29:15You'll get used to it, son.
29:22I mean, they're not in all that long, is it?
29:24It's just your human spirit, you see.
29:26That's what they can't grind down and hurt in here.
29:27Your human spirit.
29:31We'll be all right, you and me.
29:32We could go out tonight, if you like.
29:39With them dancers?
29:40Yeah, definitely, yeah, yeah.
29:42Or I could ring up Miss Sharon Spencer there, couldn't I?
29:45She's bound to have a big friend, ain't she, eh?
29:47We could go up west again, eh?
29:49Do all the nightclubs.
29:49It's discos now.
29:50Oh, is it?
29:51Well, as you prefer, as you prefer, yeah, yeah.
29:53Anyhow, give it a thought, right?
29:55Yeah, well, I'll see how I feel like.
29:57That's it, yeah.
29:58Still, on the other hand, Fletch.
29:59Yeah?
30:00Well, if we don't want to go out,
30:02we could always have another quiet night in.
30:04Right.
30:06Right.
30:06Right.
30:32Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another quiet night in.
30:36Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another quiet night in.
30:37Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another quiet night in.
30:38Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another quiet night in.
30:39Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another quiet night in.
30:40Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another quiet night in.
30:41Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another quiet night in.
30:42Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another night in.
30:43Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another night in.
30:44Well, if we don't want to go out, we could always have another night in.
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