- 5 weeks ago
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FunTranscript
00:00All right, Crash. Today is the rest day of school, and before summer starts, we're going to do SAT practice questions.
00:09What's that noise? Is that snowing? Junior, are you sleeping in cracks?
00:15Huh? What?
00:16Junior, no sleeping in cracks. Just because it's a rest day of school doesn't mean I can't fail you.
00:22Oh, sorry, teacher. I'm just really bored of school. I can't wait for summer vacation.
00:26Yeah, me too, Junior. I can't wait to go to the beach and see all the hunky dudes and their thongs playing volleyball. So hot.
00:33Dude, I hate summer.
00:34What, you hate summer? You like school like Cody? You're a nerd?
00:37Yeah, like me.
00:38No, I'm not a nerd. Dude, I just like the AC at school and the food.
00:42Look, I don't have air conditioning at my house or food, so I like to come to school.
00:46And you know it's going to be super hot all summer.
00:48Well, why don't you just come to my house and have fun? I have AC and food.
00:51Oh, okay, dude.
00:52Yeah, and Cody, you've got to come to my house too all summer.
00:54All right, yeah.
00:55Yeah, we're going to all hang out all summer long.
00:58Sorry, Junior. It looks like I'm not going to be able to hang out with you all summer.
01:01Why not?
01:02Because we're going to Alaska to go whale watching all summer long.
01:07Whale watching? If you want to whale watch, why don't you just stare at your mom?
01:09I want to see a humpback whale.
01:11Don't you have pimples on your back? There's your humpback whale.
01:14Sorry, Junior. Come on, Cody. Those whales aren't going to watch themselves.
01:18Bye, Junior.
01:19That's so lame, Joseph.
01:21That's lame, dude.
01:22Well, you're still going to be able to hang out with me all summer, right?
01:23Of course, dude. I don't have a life.
01:26All right, Joseph. You're coming with me.
01:27You ain't got a warrant. You're just going to walk into the house like that.
01:31Like we ain't got amendments. Step back outside.
01:33What?
01:34He's right.
01:35Well, Joseph, what was that about?
01:37I don't know, dude.
01:37What? Uh, let's go see what that's about.
01:40Yeah.
01:41Uh, hello?
01:41Hey there. I'm the police. Is Joseph here? I know he is. I just saw him.
01:45Yeah, he's right here.
01:46Oh, why'd you snitch on me, dude?
01:48What did Joseph do?
01:49Well, Joseph here has been stealing Lunchables and candy bars from the gas station for the past three years.
01:53It just took us forever to figure out who did it because turtles don't leave fingerprints.
01:57Dude, I was hungry.
01:59Yeah? Well, I'm hungry for justice.
02:01And you're going to do hard time in juvie.
02:03Two months. The whole summer until school starts again.
02:06But the whole summer?
02:06Yeah.
02:07Dude, I don't want to go to jail.
02:09Oh, you're going to go to jail.
02:10You're going to see what it's like to spend time in a cell in a nice warm bed with three meals a day,
02:15one hour of outside time, and a TV.
02:17Oh, man, that sounds like a vacation. Only two months?
02:20Yeah.
02:21Ow!
02:22Okay, okay, three months.
02:24Ow!
02:25Six months!
02:27Okay, okay, a year.
02:28Well, I'm trying to get life, dude.
02:30All right, fine. How about you stop hitting me and we work this out in the car?
02:33What, Joseph?
02:34Bye, dude!
02:34Aw! Cody's in Alaska and Joseph's in jail? Who am I going to hang out with all summer?
02:41Jail? Joseph's calling me! Joseph!
02:45Hello, Joseph?
02:46Hey, dude, I got my free phone call.
02:48That's cool. How's jail?
02:50Dude, it's great. The food is awesome. I got my own bed and my cellmate loves to give me massages. He's all over me.
02:57Massages?
02:57Yeah, dude. He likes to kiss me, though. It's a little weird, but I don't complain. My uncle used to do it, too.
03:03Okay, how long are you going to be in there for?
03:05Dude, I don't even know. I hope it's a long time, though.
03:08Oh, hold on, Junior. It's shower time. I'm going to see what this drop-in-the-show business is about.
03:12I'll talk to you later, bro.
03:14Bye.
03:15Wish me luck!
03:16Okay.
03:16What? Almost the whole summer, I'm going to have no friends! Who am I going to hang out with now?
03:24Oh, Jeffy! I can hang out with Jeffy!
03:29Hey, Jeffy.
03:30Hey, Junior.
03:31Um, what are you doing?
03:33Staring at this wall.
03:35Uh, why?
03:37I'm making sure it doesn't go anywhere.
03:40It's not going to go anywhere.
03:41I know, because I'm staring at it.
03:43Oh, well, I was just wondering if you could hang out with me for the summer.
03:46Can't, Junior.
03:47You've got to stare at this wall.
03:48What?
03:49So you can't go play toys?
03:50Nope.
03:52But...
03:53It's just a wall.
03:55I know! I'm making sure it doesn't go anywhere.
03:58Okay.
04:00See you later, Junior.
04:01Oh, man! I can't wait to watch Charlie and Friends! It's my favorite show ever!
04:06Charlie and Friends is filmed in front of a live audience.
04:12Oh, we're about to crash!
04:14Oh, hi, guys.
04:16I'm Charlie.
04:18And today, I gotta go to work!
04:21I work at the gas station.
04:23And today's payday!
04:25It's time to get paid!
04:30Alright.
04:33Let's do this.
04:34Oh, Charlie! That's not a job! You're gonna go to jail!
04:43Dad, Dad, Dad!
04:45What do you want, Junior?
04:46Um, I was wondering if we could hang out for the summer.
04:49No, I don't want to hang out!
04:51Look, I don't even want to go outside. It's super hot.
04:54It's sweaty and sticky.
04:55It's gross. I just want to watch TV.
04:57Well, um, I was wondering if you could take me to Disneyland.
05:00No, I don't want to take you to Disneyland, either!
05:03Look, how about you go ahead and ask Chef Pee-Pee, because that sounds expensive.
05:07Okay, I'll ask Chef Pee-Pee.
05:08Yeah.
05:09Chef Pee-Pee!
05:11What do you want, you stupid brats?
05:13Isn't it summertime? You should be hanging out with your friends.
05:15Well, Cody's whale watching in Alaska, and Joe's in jail for shoplifting.
05:19Don't you have other friends?
05:20Nobody else wants to hang out with me.
05:22Well, you're lucky you have those friends. I don't have any.
05:24Well, I'm your friend.
05:25Ew! No, you're not. Look, I work for your dad.
05:28If I didn't have to work for him, look, I wouldn't even be talking to you.
05:31Well, me and you are best friends forever, Chef Pee-Pee.
05:32No, we're not, Junior! You bother me all the time!
05:35God!
05:36I was thinking we could hang out all summer.
05:37Junior, I would rather sit my hand on the stove for a week than hang out with you.
05:42Well, we could do it together.
05:43No, Junior! Get away from me! God!
05:45Well, I was hoping you could take me to Disneyland.
05:47We've already been to Disney World, Junior!
05:49Yeah, we've been to Disney World, but not Disneyland.
05:51Disney World's in Florida. Disneyland's in California.
05:54Why would we go all the way across country just to go to another Disney? That's stupid!
05:58Because it would be really fun. It would be a cool summer vacation.
06:00That wouldn't be fun for me, Junior.
06:02Well, how about we go see the Grand Canyon?
06:03No! That's just a hole in the ground.
06:05If you want to have a hole in the ground, I will give you a shovel and tell you to dig one.
06:08And then bury yourself in it, Junior.
06:10Well, okay. Well, then how about we just go to the park?
06:13No, we're not going to a park! I'm not hanging out with you!
06:16Oh, for sure, Pee-Pee. I just want to have a fun summer.
06:19Please take me to do something fun!
06:21Please! Please!
06:22Junior!
06:23Okay, you want to do something fun?
06:24Yes!
06:24You want to do something fun?
06:25Yes!
06:26Okay, follow me. I'll show you something fun.
06:27All right, Junior. This is a bowl of sand. I want you to count every single grain of sand in this bowl and don't talk to me until you're done.
06:34Why do you want me to do this, Chef Pee-Pee?
06:36Oh, it's just been driving me crazy. Every single time I see this bowl, I'm wondering how many grains of sand is in this bowl. And you can count it for me, Junior.
06:44Well, why don't you help me?
06:45Oh, man. I got to cook. And I got to clean. So you know I'm busy. And you have all summer, so you can count them.
06:51Okay, Chef Pee-Pee. I guess I'll do it.
06:53Yeah, so get the counting and don't come talk to me until you're done.
06:57Okay. I guess I'll get started.
07:011, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 17, 18, 18, 19, 19, 19.
07:04I lost count. I'll start over.
07:10Oh, my God! It's going to take Junior forever to count all that sand.
07:14Oh, it's going to be great.
07:16Chef Pee-Pee, I'm done.
07:18No way in the hell, Junior.
07:19There's no way in the hell you counted every single grain of sand in this bowl.
07:23It would have taken you a year.
07:24A year? If I'm a slow counter, I'm a really fast counter, Chef Pee-Pee.
07:28Oh, really? How many grains of sand is in this bowl then?
07:31Okay, well, I might be a little off.
07:32I think I might have counted a little bit too much.
07:34But I think there's 738.
07:36No, Junior. You're stupid as hell.
07:38There has to be 700 million in there.
07:40700 million? Not with the way I counted.
07:42How did you count then?
07:43Okay, this is what I did. See, I grabbed some sand.
07:45I was like, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
07:47There has to be 1,000 in that one pitch, Junior.
07:50Okay, if I'm not counting right, then how about you just counting?
07:52I'm not going to count it, Junior.
07:53Look, I don't want to be bothered by you.
07:55I hate you. I'm not your friend.
07:57I would rather see you die.
07:58What? You hate me?
07:59Yes, I hate you.
08:00Look, Junior, I didn't want to be bothered by you.
08:02That's why I gave you this big bowl of sand to count it.
08:05Because it took you the whole summer.
08:07I wouldn't even see you at all.
08:09So you were trying to do that to get rid of me?
08:10Yes.
08:11Now go leave.
08:12Bye.
08:13See you later.
08:14Finally, you idiot.
08:20Why does Shep-P-P hate me so much?
08:22I just really want Shep-P-P to love me.
08:25I wish Shep-P-P was nice.
08:27I wish he was the nicest human being on Earth
08:29because he's really rude and mean and he sucks.
08:32Oh, this is the worst summer ever.
08:34Who are you?
08:41It's me, Shep-P-P.
08:43Shep-P-P? Why do you look like that?
08:45I don't know what you're talking about, Junior,
08:46but I got you a happy meal for breakfast.
08:48A happy meal for breakfast?
08:51Yes, whatever makes you happy.
08:52Whatever makes me...
08:54Last night, I wish Shep-P-P was really nice.
08:56And now he's being really nice.
08:58You want to hang out with me all summer?
09:00You betcha.
09:01Yeah!
09:01We can do whatever I want?
09:02Anything you want.
09:04Well, okay, let's go to the park.
09:06I better play inside instead, you know?
09:08All these toys.
09:09But I want to go to the park.
09:11Okay.
09:12Let's go to the park.
09:13Come on, Shep-P-P, let's go.
09:15Yay, Shep-P-P, we're at the park.
09:17Let's go have fun.
09:18But it's so hot, Junior.
09:19It's not that hot.
09:20Come on, let's go play.
09:21Okay.
09:32Oh, man.
09:48I had so much fun with Shep-P-P at the park.
09:50They're the greatest day ever.
09:51Oh, I love real life Shep-P-P.
09:54Who's that?
09:55Uh, hello?
09:56What, guys?
09:57I thought you...
09:58Oh, no, I actually...
10:00Um, maybe you should go first.
10:03You just come inside.
10:03We'll just talk.
10:04Okay, yeah.
10:04So, Cody, I thought you were whale watching in Alaska?
10:07No.
10:07It turns out my mom didn't know what the hell she was talking about.
10:10We weren't going to Alaska.
10:11We were just watching a documentary about whales in Alaska, on Animal Planet, at home.
10:16So you're not going to Alaska?
10:17No.
10:17And, Joseph, I thought you were in jail.
10:19What?
10:19Yeah, I got out on the technicality, dude.
10:22The police officer didn't read me my Miranda rights.
10:24So I'm not in jail.
10:26But at least I got a massage.
10:27You get massages in there?
10:29Well, so you guys, is the whole summer you guys are free to hang out?
10:31Yeah.
10:32Well, I've been hanging out with Shep-P-P all summer.
10:34Junior, it's been one day.
10:35Well, that one day's been a load of fun with Shep-P-P.
10:37He's going to get me Happy Meals and stuff.
10:39What?
10:39Shep-P-P never gets us Happy Meals.
10:41Oh, yeah?
10:41Well, check this Shep-P-P out.
10:43Shep-P-P, we want Happy Meals!
10:45I heard there's some stupid brats that want some Happy Meals.
10:48What happened to Shep-P-P?
10:50Yeah, dude, he looks weird.
10:51Don't you love him?
10:52He's so much cooler.
10:53I wish Shep-P-P was a real-life human being.
10:55And he's so much nicer.
10:56Look, he got us Happy Meals.
10:58Was he not a real human being before?
10:59No, he was a puppet.
11:00Now he's a real-life human being.
11:02Here's your Happy Meals.
11:04Stupid brat.
11:05Oh, look, he got us Happy Meals.
11:07Isn't he awesome?
11:07Thanks, real-life Shep-P-P.
11:09See, he spits on me all the time.
11:11Why?
11:12Make sure you eat all your Happy Meals, you stupid brat.
11:17Mwah.
11:18Mwah.
11:19Mwah.
11:19Mwah.
11:20Mwah.
11:20Mwah.
11:20Bye, Shep-P, I love you.
11:23Thank you for the Happy Meals.
11:24Um, Junior, why did Shep-P-P just cackle maniacally?
11:27I think he might be evil.
11:29Yeah, dude, that was weird.
11:30What, Shep-P-P's not evil.
11:31He just got us Happy Meals.
11:32That's not evil.
11:33Well, are you sure everything's okay with the Happy Meals?
11:35Why would there be anything wrong with them?
11:36Well, because he said, make sure you eat all of your Happy Meals,
11:39and then he went, mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha, like he was evil.
11:42Okay, Cody, if you want to check our Happy Meals, we can check them,
11:45but there's nothing wrong with them.
11:46Let's check.
11:47See, Cody, look, a normal cheeseburger.
11:49Junior, that's a knife between two buns.
11:51Where?
11:51Right there, the knife.
11:53Shep-P-P's trying to kill you.
11:54Okay, look, this is just a mistake by McDonald's.
11:56Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, they do that all the time.
11:58They hand out knife burgers all the time.
11:59No, look, this is what happened.
12:00The guy was cutting the cheese for the cheeseburger, right?
12:02And then he accidentally put the knife on the burger instead of the cheese.
12:05Oh, yeah, that's just a totally normal, honest mistake for McDonald's to make.
12:08Okay, what about your Happy Meals?
12:09Is there anything wrong with it?
12:10Let's see.
12:11Oh, my God.
12:12What?
12:13It's a gun.
12:14A gun?
12:14Yeah, a gun.
12:15Shep-P-P's trying to kill you.
12:17Hey, dude, my chicken nuggets taste weird.
12:19They burnt just as nuggets.
12:20Those aren't nuggets, Junior.
12:22Those are bullets.
12:23Bullets?
12:23Yeah, you know, for the gun,
12:25because Shep-P-P's trying to kill you.
12:27Shep-P-P would not kill me.
12:28He took me to the park.
12:30Oh, okay, yeah, I guess that makes everything okay.
12:33I take back everything I said.
12:35No, he's trying to kill you, Junior.
12:37What says that he's trying to kill me?
12:38The weapons.
12:39The weapons that he gave you so you would die.
12:42Maybe these are just new toys from McDonald's.
12:44No, no, Junior.
12:45These.
12:45These are the new toys.
12:47These are weapons.
12:48Okay, you know what, Cody?
12:49I think I know what's going on.
12:50Okay, what?
12:50I think you're jealous that you don't have a personal chef.
12:52Oh, yeah.
12:53No, you got me.
12:54That's what it is.
12:54Yeah, you guys are just jealous that you don't have personal chefs.
12:57How much did I just get out?
12:58Okay, fine, fine.
12:59But you watch your back because Chef BB is trying to kill you.
13:01He's not trying to kill me.
13:02You leave too, Joseph.
13:03Whatever.
13:03Yeah, everyone, you just leave.
13:04Y'all are just jealous of my personal chef.
13:05And you know what?
13:06He's going to take me to Disneyland and the Grand Canyon.
13:09Yeah, that's what he's going to do.
13:11Yeah, he's going to take me there.
13:13Die, Junior, die.
13:14Hey, Chef BB.
13:15Whoa.
13:18Junior, how are you still alive?
13:21How am I still alive?
13:22What are you talking about?
13:22With the burger and the knife and the choking and the stabbing and dying.
13:26I didn't eat it.
13:27I wasn't hungry.
13:28So I was wondering, Chef BB, if you could take me to Disneyland for summer vacation.
13:33Disneyland?
13:34Yeah, Disneyland, you know, with a bunch of fast rides and they go really high up and then
13:37you fall and you scream.
13:40It's hard enough for you to fall and die?
13:42I mean, yeah, if you don't have your seatbelt on, you could fall and die.
13:45I mean, if you hit the ground, you would die.
13:46I mean, yeah, they could kill you.
13:48Okay.
13:50Let's go.
13:51Really?
13:51You want to go?
13:52Yeah.
13:52All right, then come on, Chef BB, let's go.
13:54You're the best chef ever.
13:56I know.
13:57Yay, Chef BB, we're at Disneyland.
13:59Yeah, whatever, you stupid brat.
14:00You want to ride rides at Disneyland?
14:02Yeah, sure, whatever.
14:03You took me to Disneyland, now you're taking me to Disneyland.
14:04Oh my God, I love human Chef BB.
14:06He's the coolest.
14:07Let's go ride Splash Mountain.
14:08Oh, fine.
14:11Chef BB, you ready to get on that ride?
14:12There's no way I'm going on that ride.
14:14Why not?
14:14I don't want to die.
14:15You're not going to die, it's fun.
14:17Yes, I am.
14:18Look at them, they were screaming.
14:19Yeah, they're screaming, how much fun they're having.
14:21No, they won't.
14:22Look at that.
14:22Look at how much fun they're having, watch.
14:24See?
14:25I'm not going in there, Junior.
14:27Are you having fun, Chef BB?
14:28Oh no, Junior, look.
14:30What?
14:30Oh no.
14:31Oh no.
14:33Chef BB.
14:34No.
14:35Junior.
14:44Ah, Chef BB, ah, I'm wet.
14:46Junior, Junior, ah, stay up under, Junior.
14:49Ah, Disneyland sure was fun, wasn't it, Chef BB?
14:52No, no it wasn't.
14:54I got wet, you didn't die, and I almost died.
14:56It sucked, everything sucked.
14:58Well, you're not supposed to die at Disneyland, Chef BB.
14:59Disneyland's the happiest place in the world.
15:01I wanted you to die, Junior.
15:04Well, I still really want to go to the Grand Canyon this summer.
15:06You know, the Grand Canyon's really cool.
15:08What is that?
15:08The Grand Canyon's this big hole in the ground.
15:10It's like a couple thousand feet deep, and you can get right up to the edge.
15:13It's like right up to the edge.
15:14And a lot of people keep slipping and falling and dying, so I don't want to get that close.
15:17But I really want to see the Grand Canyon.
15:21Let's go.
15:22What, you want to go?
15:24Like right now?
15:25Now.
15:26Like right now.
15:27Let's go, Junior.
15:28Okay, let's go.
15:30Whoa, Chef BB, look at the Grand Canyon.
15:33It's gorgeous.
15:35Yeah, yeah it is.
15:37What the f*** is that?
15:43Who creamed?
15:44I want to know who creamed.
15:45Who creamed really hard.
15:46I want to f***ing know who creamed.
15:48Sorry, teacher.
15:49I saw a bug on my desk.
15:51Guys, I just had the worst dream ever.
15:52I had a dream that for summer vacation, Chef BB took me to the park, at Disneyland, and the
15:56Grand Canyon.
15:57Wow, Junior, that sounds like a really horrible dream.
16:00Dude, my dreams are really horrible.
16:02Every night, I dream that I'm in a trailer with no AC or food, and then I wake up and
16:06I'm still there.
16:07See, Junior, that, that's a nightmare.
16:09Well, that's just his life, Cody.
16:11Mine, my dream was really bad, because at the end, Chef BB threw me off the Grand Canyon.
16:16Yeah, that's, that's pretty bad, Junior.
16:18Yeah, so, I just got to make sure that for summer vacation that I don't go to the Grand
16:21Canyon, you know?
16:22Yeah, you probably shouldn't do that.
16:23But guys, we're all going to hang out all summer long, right?
16:25Yeah, dude.
16:26Yeah.
16:26Yeah.
16:27Sorry, Junior, I won't be able to hang out with you all summer.
16:30We're going whale-watching in Alaska.
16:33Well, are you sure you're going whale-watching?
16:34Are you sure you're not-
16:34Yes, I'm sure I'm going whale-watching.
16:36I'm not going to be watching my mom, Junior.
16:39Cody, that's so rude.
16:40Yeah, Cody, why would I say that?
16:41Oh, you guys.
16:43Oh, Cody, are you sure you're going to go whale-watching, or are you sure your mom's
16:45just not going to watch a documentary about whales in Alaska at home?
16:48Oh, that one.
16:49We're going to watch the documentary.
16:50What?
16:51You told me we were going to Alaska.
16:53We are going to Alaska.
16:54In our imaginations.
16:57Okay, whatever, Junior.
16:58I'll see you tomorrow.
16:59All right, bye, Cody.
17:01So, Joseph, you're going to be able to hang out all summer, right?
17:03Yeah, sure, dude.
17:03I don't have a life.
17:05What do I have to do?
17:06I mean, have you been stealing from the gas station lately?
17:08Dude, who told you?
17:09All right, Joseph, you're coming with me.
17:11Wait, what?
17:11You can't just walk into somebody's house.
17:13You have to have a warrant.
17:14I let him in.
17:15What?
17:15Uh, yeah.
17:16Yeah, he let me in, so you're going to jail.
17:19Yeah.
17:19Why don't you let him in, dude?
17:21Yeah, and Joseph, you have the right to remain silent.
17:22Uh, yes, he does have the right to remain silent.
17:24I always forget that.
17:25You have the right to remain silent and, and blah, and yada, yada, yada.
17:29Oh, come on, Junior.
17:31And now I'm going to go make Chef PeePee love me.
17:33Mm, mm, mm.
17:34Chef PeePee, the peanut butter and spaghetti pebbles is almost done.
17:39Oh, yeah, that smells good.
17:40Oh, Chef PeePee.
17:41Oh, what do you want, Junior?
17:43I was wondering if we're going to do anything fun for the summer.
17:45Wait, who told you?
17:46Told me what?
17:47Who ruined the surprise?
17:48What surprise?
17:49We're going to Disney World.
17:51Wait, what?
17:51Yeah, me and you're going to Disney World, silly.
17:53What, really?
17:54Yeah, see, your dad didn't want to go.
17:56He, he doesn't want to get in the sun, or he wants to stay and watch Charlie.
17:59So he just let me and you go.
18:01What, really?
18:01Where are we going?
18:02Right now.
18:03Let's go.
18:04What about your food?
18:05Don't worry about that.
18:06I'm not going to eat that.
18:07Well, really?
18:07Yeah, come on.
18:08Let's go.
18:10All right, Junior, welcome to Disney World.
18:12Chef PeePee, I can't believe you actually brought me to Disney World.
18:14I thought you hated me.
18:15Yeah, I do hate you, but even though you're a brat, you're my brat.
18:18So let's go and ride these rides.
18:20Okay.
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