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BRITCOM III
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00:00I have done you a cheese sandwich and I have cut the crusts off.
00:04Oh, thank God.
00:05See how good I am?
00:06Yeah, yeah.
00:06And it is cheese sandwich.
00:08Oh, thank you very much.
00:08Look at that.
00:10Oh, lovely.
00:10Like you come for tea from the Victor.
00:12Has it got cucumber on?
00:13No, it's cheese.
00:14Oh, chee...
00:14Cheese.
00:16Chee? Where is the cheese?
00:18Well, it's spread.
00:20Who put it on?
00:21Me?
00:21Who took it off the non-on?
00:23Yes!
00:30Ooh, happy days.
00:32Oh, Daniela, I like this.
00:33He's gone and done and did it.
00:34I don't trust him because he's teetotal.
00:36Oh, no, no.
00:37Cryptic that in there.
00:38Convoluted that.
00:40Oh, no, no.
00:42What a waste of a muffin.
00:43Oh!
00:45What's that?
00:47Unacceptable!
00:48Yeah!
00:49Oh!
00:49What the hell?
00:51Is that it?
00:52There's not much evidence of man-boob, is there, Mary?
00:55Oh, I hate Swiss roll.
00:56Oh, no!
00:57Oh!
00:57Oh, no!
00:59Oh, he's a badger.
01:00Yes, he's a badger.
01:02Oh, man, he's got one in and one out.
01:04It's the kind of trash I adore.
01:06Was that good for you as it was for me?
01:09In the week Greg's opened a pub in Newcastle,
01:13we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:16The government's latest plans were keeping us in check on ITV.
01:20The digital ID cards could look a bit like this,
01:23according to Labour Together,
01:25a think tank which is close to the Prime Minister.
01:27That is actually wrong,
01:29because he's showing his teeth there.
01:30You have to be like that.
01:33Like a train's coming at you.
01:34I wouldn't be doing that if a train was going at me.
01:42The youth of Yorkshire were getting pre-exam pep talks on Channel 4.
01:46We, as your maths teachers, are immensely proud of you.
01:51Isn't it crazy that we only ever heard that phrase,
01:54I'm so proud of you, from our teachers?
01:56I know.
01:57Like, how mad is that?
01:58Our parents never said that before.
02:00And bear in mind, I bought awards home before.
02:03I bought debate club awards,
02:05Jack Petchy award,
02:06the Duke of Edinburgh award.
02:08How many more awards do I have to bring?
02:10I was a try-hard.
02:11You really tried.
02:12I was waiting for that affirmation from my parents.
02:15It never came.
02:16It never came.
02:17It never delivered.
02:18And it was baffling business as usual on BBC Two.
02:22Two and a half minutes to solve it,
02:24starting now.
02:28Here it goes.
02:29Spice Girls.
02:30I do daily puzzles with Hugh.
02:32He's obsessed with jigsaws.
02:34Obsessed.
02:35And he is such a clever little boy, you know.
02:38He is.
02:39He's actually so...
02:40Like, he does a jigsaw without looking at the picture.
02:42Sometimes, if me and him are doing a jigsaw together,
02:45and I'll put something somewhere,
02:47he's like, no anti-abs.
02:49Mm.
02:49This goes here.
02:51And he knows more farm animals than me.
02:53Mm-hmm.
03:01In Manchester...
03:03Did you, er, let Erwin know your news?
03:06Alison, her husband, George, and her daughter, Helena.
03:09Your gender reveal.
03:11Oh, I'm not doing gender reveal.
03:13Have I told him he's having a sister?
03:14Yeah.
03:15Yeah.
03:15And how did it go?
03:17Well, that's what he wanted.
03:19That's what he'd planned.
03:20That's what he'd ordered?
03:21He'd ordered that.
03:22So, he didn't...
03:23He wasn't too shocked.
03:24Was he not?
03:24I thought he'd put the order in months ago.
03:26Yeah.
03:27Erm, but he has told everybody
03:30that it's going to be called Ruby Gemstone.
03:32LAUGHTER
03:33It was Glitterballs at Go-Go on BBC One
03:37as we shimmied into Saturday night with this.
03:40Do-do-do-do-do...
03:42Do-do-do-do...
03:44Oh, hello!
03:46I know, I heard you close by day.
03:47Here we go, sir.
03:48But it's stick-mean.
03:50Right, you're going to your lock, aren't you, love?
03:53There's your sample.
03:54Oh, thank you.
03:55Come on, dance.
03:57Hang on!
03:58Dance!
03:59I've got it.
04:05Nitro from Gladiators.
04:06Christ, he's massive, isn't he?
04:08Yeah.
04:08All right, sir, Jesus.
04:10Danny and Dyer.
04:13No, not Danny and Dyer.
04:15LAUGHTER
04:15It's where they put the name and the surname.
04:18It's not Danny and Dyer, it's Danny Dyer.
04:20Who's Danny Dyer, then?
04:26Ah, Levoix.
04:27Oh, Levoix.
04:28Oh.
04:29Levoix.
04:30Levoix.
04:30How do you pronounce it?
04:34Do-do-do-do-do.
04:36Arriba.
04:37There's no only glitter ball I want to be under on a Saturday.
04:39I'll tell you that.
04:44Dancing the cha-cha.
04:45Oh, here he is.
04:47Harry Akin Zarete and Karen Howell.
04:50Look at those arms.
04:52Oh, I bet they could crush a chestnut.
04:55What?
04:56It looks like he's done 100 press-ups before he's come out.
04:59Oh, absolutely.
05:00He'll have had one of those bands in the back.
05:05Whoa.
05:07Oh!
05:07Oh, shit.
05:12Oh, shit.
05:15Ah, poor shit.
05:16Come on, George.
05:17Get in the groove, love.
05:20No, not doing it.
05:21No, it's not the same.
05:26Ow!
05:27Poor shit.
05:27Oh.
05:28Do you like this music?
05:29No, not particularly.
05:30Oh, he's doing well.
05:35He's keeping up with Karen.
05:36Mmm.
05:37I mean, obviously, he doesn't move quite so well as her, but the timing's great.
05:46The hip's a little bit wooden for me, but...
05:48Yeah, but when you've got an arse, that thing, it is quite difficult.
05:52To shake it.
05:54That is pure muscle, so...
05:56Come on, girls, let's go show the guy that we know how to become number one in the hot potty show.
06:03Oh, my God.
06:05He is so good looking.
06:07He's nitro single?
06:09Don't know.
06:10It's like he's got two filet mignons on his arm.
06:13LAUGHTER
06:13Ridiculous.
06:29Ooh, baby, baby, got the...
06:32Woo!
06:33That were a stiff shimmy, that.
06:35You need to give it a shot.
06:37Oh.
06:37Oh.
06:38Push it real good.
06:40Push it real good.
06:41No.
06:42Yes, look at that.
06:44Oh.
06:46Piece of piss.
06:47Anybody can do that.
06:49Watch this.
06:49Oh, God, here we go.
06:51You ready for this?
06:52Oh, my goodness.
07:02Amazing.
07:03Oh, I'd love to be that flaw right now.
07:06LAUGHTER
07:07Christ, I'd be like that.
07:08I know.
07:09You gave me on, can I get on you a bag?
07:12You're having a laugh.
07:13You're under a chiropractor.
07:15LAUGHTER
07:15Get up on this.
07:17Oh, oh.
07:19You are some of this.
07:21Oh, that is.
07:22Oh, that is.
07:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:26It looks like he's defying gravity there, jumping up.
07:29Get up on this.
07:30That was amazing.
07:33And there was a woman dancing with him as well.
07:35LAUGHTER
07:35And there was a little fail there.
07:39You would, though, wouldn't you?
07:40If that were me.
07:41LAUGHTER
07:42I'll be like, catch your breath.
07:43LAUGHTER
07:44Catch your breath, go on.
07:47He's made my night.
07:49So, you want to get some cool water or something?
07:51You'll have to get something.
07:52Huh?
07:53Yeah, I'm on fire.
07:54Yeah.
07:54Yeah.
07:54Yeah.
07:54Yeah.
07:55Yeah.
07:55Yeah.
07:56Yeah.
07:57Yeah.
07:58Yeah.
07:59Yeah.
08:00I know.
08:01Hey, Jenny, I was going through my house insurance, you know.
08:03Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
08:06You should have a look at it and all you know.
08:08Why?
08:08At yours, because I was going through small print.
08:11Yeah.
08:12Do you know if my duvet got nicked overnight, I wouldn't be covered?
08:18Well, it'd come in with your contents, wouldn't it?
08:20Amazing.
08:22Yeah, but it'd come with your contents.
08:24If my duvet got nicked during the night, I wouldn't be covered.
08:28So, what about...
08:30Oh, shut up.
08:32On Sunday night, there were more lessons to be learned
08:35at our favourite school up north on Channel 4.
08:38Everyone's had a favourite teacher.
08:40I remember mine as being Mr Baker P teacher.
08:42It used to get me out of all the detentions.
08:45LAUGHTER
08:46We had a teacher called...
08:47Was it Mrs Coxworth?
08:49Yes.
08:50She was very attractive, but, I mean, they were very immature
08:53about her name, weren't they?
08:55She was Miss Ward and then she became Mrs Coxworth.
08:58LAUGHTER
08:59With an X.
09:00Welcome to the world of education!
09:03When I was in private school, my teacher was my best friend, you know.
09:06When I was at school,
09:08if you do rubbish on your GCSEs, you'll go nowhere, da-da-da...
09:13And do you know what? They were absolutely right.
09:16LAUGHTER
09:17It's November at Thornhill.
09:19In just over a week, the Year 11 students will start their mock GCSEs.
09:24GCSEs, shall you remember those?
09:26Oh, my gosh.
09:27That brings back nightmares.
09:28Ooh.
09:29Oh, I hated GCSEs.
09:30They were the worst.
09:31Did you actually revise for yours?
09:33The only one I revised for was science and that was the only one I failed.
09:37So it just goes to show you shouldn't revise.
09:39Have you ever used a Bunsen burner?
09:41No.
09:42Exactly.
09:43Thornhill's most dedicated students are being treated to a special breakfast.
09:47Oh, so all the goody-two-shoes get a nice breakfast, I see.
09:51One student on the invite list is Falak, a school prefect.
09:55Well, I was never one of them.
09:57No, me too.
09:58I never wanted to be one of them, though.
10:00I didn't.
10:01That's a really good one.
10:02You used to have to wear a badge.
10:04At the moment, I've picked my A-levels to be biology, chemistry and psychology.
10:08Gosh.
10:09She's clever, isn't she?
10:10Yes, Falak!
10:11You and Daniela would get on like a house on fire, Falak, honestly.
10:15Carl John and Sigmund Foyle and their man there.
10:17In my room, I'm, like, locked away.
10:19They call it my man cave.
10:21I'm in my little cave every day.
10:23Doing, like, at least two hours a day of revision.
10:26That's dedication, that is.
10:27That is, that is.
10:28Well, don't push yourself too hard.
10:30You know, you don't want to be putting too much pressure on yourself.
10:33With just one week to go, Year 11s are having their last lessons
10:37before they sit their mocks.
10:39Oh, boy.
10:40It was a scary time, man.
10:41Recently, I've had a few anxiety attacks.
10:44Oh, no!
10:45She's a good student, but she's worrying.
10:48Aww.
10:49That's really common with kids in Year 11 coming up to the GCSEs.
10:53I lose my eyesight.
10:54I don't breathe much.
10:56So my eyes start to water and I panic even more, the fact that I can't see.
11:01Oh, poor girl.
11:02Terrifying, isn't it?
11:03Mm-hm.
11:04I mean, she's feeling the pressure.
11:05Oh, God, jump scare.
11:10Sports all done out is the exam room.
11:12That is anxiety in a room.
11:13It's a safe for sore eyes.
11:15It's the start of the Year 11 mocks.
11:17Oh, God, look at her.
11:18She looks absolutely petrified.
11:21And the students are about to tackle their first maths paper.
11:24Maths?
11:25Oh, my God.
11:26I failed maths twice.
11:28I got a bit nervous, even though I knew I was going to do shit,
11:30but I still was nervous.
11:32I've just been asked if you can get down to the hole.
11:35Oh, no, what's happened here?
11:37Falak.
11:38Partway through her exam, Falak is struggling to breathe.
11:41Oh, God.
11:42Oh, she's having a panic attack, sweet girl.
11:44Come on, kiddo.
11:48Oh, Falak.
11:49Right, let's do some, er, nice and fresh.
11:52Right, breathe in, breathe out.
11:53Big, deep breaths.
11:57Oh, Mr Burton's good mind.
11:59Mr Burton is phenomenal.
12:01Students can put so much pressure on themselves
12:03and that can lead them to not performing, ironically,
12:06the way that they would like to.
12:08And it's our job to make sure that we help them through that.
12:11Do you know what?
12:12It's not fair putting kids under this kind of stress.
12:14The children.
12:16Why do we do this to children?
12:19It's Tuesday and the mock results are in.
12:23Oh, this is the scary part.
12:26The results.
12:27And this is when the teachers start going,
12:29right, now you've seen a hint of reality,
12:32what are you going to do to change that?
12:34Let's change that.
12:38It's not going to be good.
12:39It's not going to be good.
12:40Come on, it's going to be good.
12:41Ooh.
12:42OK, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:46Is she done, eh?
12:47I've passed everything.
12:48Yeah.
12:49Because I've actually passed everything!
12:51Oh, she's passed!
12:53Well done, Falak.
12:55I'm going to college!
12:56Yeah!
12:57Well done!
12:58You see now, if this was me at school, it would have been Peter passed just under half of his GCSEs and didn't get into college.
13:09Peter went on to the University of Life.
13:16I am actually a prime example of why exams don't matter.
13:23I finished school and I've worked in the same company with a really good job,
13:28credit controller that's in the finance department,
13:32and then now progressing into the sales department,
13:36working my way up with only two GCSEs.
13:41Well, one of them was PE.
13:53In Glasgow...
13:54I feel like you would fall in love with, like, a paper bag.
13:57Thanks, yeah, yeah.
13:58But I do, I feel like you fall in love every two seconds.
14:00Best mates Jake and Callum.
14:03Do you not love those moments, though, when you're going through life
14:05and you just sort of fall in love with a stranger for, like, 20 minutes?
14:09Nah, I don't like it.
14:10You sort of think, why is she looking over here all the time?
14:12Then you realise she's probably just wanting to clean up and close the cafe.
14:15No, but that's your head thinking that she's in love with you.
14:19That's right.
14:20And you romanticise this thing that's not there.
14:21You know what, for those 20 minutes, I'd do it all over again. I love it.
14:23But then you probably leave that moment and think, like, I can't believe I'm not going to see them again.
14:27Ever.
14:28So is that why they've got a restraining order on you?
14:30That's exactly what I was going to say.
14:33On Monday night, BBC2 had its hieroglyphics out.
14:37Come on. Come here.
14:39Lip in. Come here.
14:40He doesn't want to sit next to him. Come here. He does.
14:43Do we have to watch this? Because I've already got a slight headache.
14:46Yeah, I love it. It's my favourite quiz show.
14:49I've had to do two tests at work.
14:54Ooh.
14:55Pass them both.
14:56I'm all over quizzes. I've really got brain energy going, Simon.
15:01Big talk, Jane.
15:02As the Duke of Wellington said at the Battle of Waterloo, hard pounding this gentleman.
15:07I beg your pardon?
15:08OK. Pounding.
15:10Let's see who will pound the longest.
15:13Ah.
15:14I wish my history lessons were like that in school.
15:17I was going to say, I've never seen a quiz show open quite like that.
15:20On my right, Julianne Morland,
15:23a diagnostic radiographer who was two-time university karate champion.
15:27They always have to have a little quirky story about them, don't they?
15:30Yes.
15:31Hey, Albon.
15:32Yeah.
15:33Remember when you'd done karate?
15:34Yeah, it's a good girl.
15:35Yeah.
15:36Got photo of you in your white gi.
15:39Oh, right.
15:40And their captain, Steve Ash,
15:42who slept through a bear attacking his cabin in the Rocky Mountains.
15:45I'd be Lara Fawcett swam for Team GB in the Ice Swimming World Championships.
15:51Really?
15:52That's the only achievement I've ever done in my life.
15:55Oh, I see.
15:56So if I was on that, that's what I'd say it was.
15:58My fun fact, I walked around Machu Picchu with Mick Jagger accidentally,
16:02but he was there, I was there at the same time.
16:04And you will be facing this evening, on my left, Hannah Fitton.
16:09Who?
16:10Who's the captain of Franchester United football team.
16:13Manchester United?
16:14Like Franchester United.
16:16Ah!
16:17Lee Riley, fan of vodka and coke and slut dropping.
16:21And then three of you can slink away...
16:24Scanners, you won the toss, you'll be going first.
16:26Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.
16:28Er, the lion, please.
16:29Ooh!
16:30Ooh!
16:33Oh, my God.
16:34Oh, God, what the hell does that say?
16:36One second.
16:37Next.
16:39Is that a canoe?
16:40No.
16:41No.
16:42Girl, girl.
16:43What's the next one?
16:44Next.
16:45Bluff, bluff!
16:46Bluff!
16:47Is this types of cheese?
16:48There, there's a cat, yeah, it's uneven.
16:51Oh!
16:52Woof, woof!
16:53Rabbit!
16:54It's woof, woof!
16:55I think these are dog noises, the equivalent of woof, woof.
16:59Dog noises?
17:01Seriously.
17:02Sit, that, that can't be the answer.
17:06That is what they are.
17:08Well done.
17:09I've never heard of a dog go.
17:11Bluff, bluff, bluff, bluff, bluff.
17:14Are you?
17:15Nothing.
17:16It will be the missing vowels that decide who stays in the competition
17:19and who goes home.
17:20Oh!
17:21I'm so good at vowels!
17:23I'm amazing at them, actually.
17:25My surname, before I became Fawcett, is the only surname in England
17:29with no vowels.
17:30Is that right?
17:31There's no other surname with no vowels.
17:34Oh, truth is so important.
17:37A rice and a rice.
17:39What?
17:40A rice and a rice?
17:41Basmati.
17:42Basmati.
17:43Basmati.
17:44And rice and a rice.
17:46Basmati!
17:47Scanners.
17:48Basmati and tin.
17:49Correct.
17:50Tim!
17:51What's tin?
17:52There's no rice called tin.
17:53I've never had tin rice.
17:54I've had Uncle Ben's.
17:55Jasmine.
17:56And who?
17:57Jasmine and...
17:58Jasmine and...
17:59Condoleezza.
18:00Condoleezza rice.
18:01Well done, Omer.
18:02Benchwomers.
18:03Jasmine and Condoleezza.
18:04Yes, it is.
18:05Condoleezza!
18:06Damn!
18:07What the hell's Condoleezza?
18:08What is Condoleezza rice?
18:09Oh, is that the name of the rice?
18:10No, Condoleezza is...
18:11What is Condoleezza?
18:12What is Condoleezza rice?
18:13Oh, is that the name of the rice?
18:14No, Condoleezza is...
18:15What is Condoleezza?
18:16Sticky.
18:17Basmati.
18:18Benchwomers.
18:19Arboreal and Annika.
18:20Very well done.
18:21That's not a rice.
18:22This isn't rice.
18:23No.
18:24It's not rice.
18:25It's not rice.
18:26It's not rice.
18:27You can't know that many people.
18:28Other than Declan rice, I couldn't...
18:29I only know Declan as well.
18:30Longgrain.
18:31Longgrain and Colin.
18:32Declan.
18:33Scanners.
18:34Longgrain and Declan.
18:35Correct.
18:36Yes!
18:37Oh, let's go!
18:38Yes, yes, yes!
18:39Boom.
18:40There's Declan.
18:41Represent for Arsenal, man.
18:42Here we go.
18:43Yes, yes, yes.
18:44Yes, yes, yes.
18:45Boom.
18:46There's Declan, represent for Arsenal, man.
18:47Here we go.
18:48Yes, yes, yes.
18:49Yes, yes, yes.
18:50Yes, yes, yes.
18:51Yes, yes, yes.
18:52Boom.
18:53There's Declan, represent for Arsenal, man.
18:54Here we go.
18:55Where'd you get Declan Rice from?
18:56Declan Rice?
18:57He's a footballer!
18:59That's it.
19:00That's the end of the quiz.
19:02Oh!
19:03Well, thank God that Salazar got it out, Ron.
19:06I've never had a brain that can react quickly.
19:09No, not me.
19:11I've never had a brain that reacts.
19:18In the Cotswolds.
19:19Oh, God, I'm so glad.
19:21It's the end of September.
19:23We've had the 40th, 150th, 260th, one in England, three abroad.
19:28Do you think that means everybody has sex at Christmas?
19:31Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
19:33I'm exhausted, bro.
19:35No, I know you're not done.
19:36It hasn't helped with your foot, too, with your broken toe.
19:38I actually can't cope with any more social events.
19:40No, and you don't want to see anybody.
19:42I'm putting a veto on it.
19:43Yeah, you're going to close the door and hibernate till December.
19:47Put the fire on.
19:48Put the fire on.
19:49See you at Christmas.
19:50See you at Christmas.
19:52This week, there were more high jinx on the high seas on Hey You.
19:56So, Mary, this is below deck.
19:58Oh, yes.
19:59A sort of nautical version of upstairs, downstairs.
20:02Oh, yes.
20:03All they want to do is shag each other.
20:04All of them.
20:05Do they?
20:06Oh, yeah.
20:07Where did you say it was mud?
20:08Oh, beloved.
20:09I love it.
20:10I love it.
20:11I love it.
20:12I love it.
20:13I love it.
20:14I don't think I'd like to go on holiday on a yacht.
20:18Oh, I wouldn't.
20:19I'd much prefer to go away in my touring caravan.
20:22Yeah.
20:27Oh, here we are.
20:28Hey, up.
20:29What a beautiful day in the neighbourhood.
20:31Eat some champagne.
20:32They're not even off the jetty and they're already asking for bitch juice.
20:35Gorgeous.
20:36Beautiful.
20:37Beautiful.
20:38Beautiful.
20:39Thank you very much for that.
20:40Welcome to Sunnysight Mountain.
20:41That's Captain Kerry.
20:43His boat.
20:44His rules.
20:45Welcome aboard the motor yacht since David.
20:48You've got Barbara behind the bar.
20:50Oh, look at that.
20:51Oh, that looks nice, doesn't it?
20:53I've been travelling too long.
20:54Poor you.
20:55Oh, my God.
20:56Let me cry in a pillow.
20:57I'm sorry, Kelly.
20:58I don't drive around and drink everywhere.
21:00It actually works.
21:01Pour me another drink.
21:02Has she forgot her manners on dry land?
21:04Do you know what?
21:05It doesn't matter how much money you've got.
21:07You can't buy class, can you?
21:08She's a thirsty girl.
21:09She's on holiday.
21:10Anything with alcohol is your favourite drink.
21:12I'm trying to drink it all.
21:14I think these are going to be a handful.
21:16I love getting drunk.
21:17I actually said to my mum yesterday,
21:19I really fancy getting drunk today.
21:21But I didn't.
21:22And you didn't.
21:23Is it because you had no one to get drunk with?
21:25No, because my mum said,
21:27oh, well, let's go for a couple of drinks.
21:29I said, no, that's not the sensible option, ma'am.
21:32Are we ready for some lunch?
21:33Yes!
21:34Yes!
21:35Someone give her something to line her stomach.
21:37She needs some food to sober her up.
21:40OK, let's start running with food.
21:42Woo!
21:44We'd never behave like Kelly, would we?
21:47We wouldn't behave like that if we might drink as much.
21:50Like some scissor salad.
21:52Really?
21:53Really?
21:54She kind of reminds me of Ozzy Osbourne.
21:58If you're really keen to jet ski,
21:59you've just got to be aware of how many you're drinking.
22:02Kelly can't go jet skiing.
22:04Fraser's giving a warning there.
22:05I'm going on the banana boat.
22:07I don't need anybody else.
22:08No, you're not.
22:09You're not.
22:10All captains up.
22:11Jet crew, jet crew,
22:12we've got guests coming your way.
22:13Please pay attention.
22:14Copy that.
22:15I'm going on the banana boat, baby, yeah.
22:17I'm going to have to cut off Kelly
22:18as she's set on to drink.
22:19Wow.
22:20Have you seen how she's stumbled out of the door?
22:22I've had a banana boat, baby.
22:23Someone get a buoyancy aid ready.
22:25Hey, how you doing?
22:26I'm doing well now.
22:28Look at her.
22:29She can't even walk in a straight line.
22:31Kelly, you've had a lot to drink.
22:32I'm worried about your safety.
22:33So put a jacket on.
22:34I'm fine, babe.
22:35You have two options.
22:36Would you really help us if you put a jacket on?
22:37Put it on.
22:38Oh, Simon.
22:39Uh-oh.
22:40She won't wear a fist.
22:41Oh, God.
22:42Help me put it in.
22:43Yeah, I'll help you put it on.
22:44Oh, she's there.
22:46Oh, she's there.
22:47Oh, she's daved in.
22:48There's always bloody one, isn't there?
22:49Would you jump in after her?
22:51They have to.
22:52No, would you?
22:53No.
22:54I don't have a f***ing idea how much sleep there's been around.
22:56Come chase me.
22:57Oh, wow.
22:59Come and chase me?
23:00Come and chase me.
23:01What's going on?
23:03You're welcome.
23:04You're welcome.
23:05You're welcome.
23:06You're welcome.
23:07You're welcome.
23:08You go inside now.
23:09I took her off the yacht.
23:10She needs to go in a cage now.
23:11This is my vessel and you are going inside now.
23:13No.
23:14Yes.
23:15The captain has the power to arrest her.
23:16Yeah.
23:17And lock her up.
23:18He's actually allowed to do that, isn't he?
23:19What is he?
23:20You don't want a f***ing camera to get upstairs.
23:22I'm not going to do that to me.
23:24Yeah, Kelly, you're done.
23:25You're an idiot.
23:26No.
23:27You're off the boat.
23:28You're disgusting.
23:29Disgusting.
23:30No!
23:31Oh, no!
23:32She's assaulting him with cushions?
23:35Kelly, stop it, babe.
23:36I hate you.
23:37No, Kelly, stop it.
23:38Wow.
23:39That's crazy.
23:40Yes, they are.
23:41They're f***ing assholes.
23:42Yes, they are.
23:43They're f***ing Democrats.
23:44Democrats?
23:45What?
23:46Brilliant.
23:47But then that makes her a Republican.
23:49What do you think?
23:50You're an idiot.
23:51You're an idiot.
23:52You're an idiot.
23:53No.
23:54You're off the boat.
23:55You're disgusting.
23:56You're an idiot.
23:57Ask you to talk to her in private, please.
24:00Oh, thank you.
24:01Oh, now she wants to talk.
24:02She's going to lock her in.
24:07I'll come back in 20 minutes.
24:09Oh!
24:1020 minutes?
24:11Yes.
24:12Shut the door, shut the door, quick!
24:16That's it.
24:17Lock her in.
24:18He locked her in!
24:19Yes, Captain Kerry!
24:20I told you he would.
24:21That's pretty strong, so I'll do it.
24:23Thanks, mate.
24:24She's literally holding her in her room until the police get there.
24:27She can only help solve the vessel under any circumstances.
24:30Oh, my God.
24:31The police have got vests on and everything.
24:33Oh!
24:34Why does it get off the boat?
24:35Whether it's right or wrong, that's what's going to happen.
24:37Yeah.
24:38Yeah, right.
24:39But if you resist, the French police will arrest you and detain you.
24:45Oh, my God.
24:47I want to see you be strung armed off by French police.
24:50Oh, it's so rewarding, this programme.
24:52Oh, that's what a shame.
24:54Is there any way we can see what happens?
24:56Rough justice.
24:57I stowed away on a boat once.
25:00You what? Stowed away?
25:01Yeah.
25:02Where?
25:03From Jersey to Portsmouth, back to Jersey and back to Portsmouth.
25:09I've mentioned this before.
25:11Well, no, I don't tell you why.
25:14A stow away?
25:15Yes, me and Julie.
25:18We got pissed.
25:20Good God!
25:21Yeah.
25:22I was that drunk.
25:23I didn't know where the hell I was.
25:33I'm sorry.
25:34I think Shay's coming up to the point where we're soon going to have to say happy birthday
25:38by a text.
25:39What?
25:40We mean what?
25:41Wait, you're going to stop with all the birthday presents and going out for meals?
25:45Sarah, her husband Andre and their daughter Shay.
25:49I don't care how many children I have or how many years I've been married.
25:52I'm coming back here every year for my birthday and I'm expecting balloons, flowers, dinner,
25:57the lot.
25:58I've got an idea, Sarah.
25:59You see, I'm a daddy's girl.
26:00You have to keep spoiling me.
26:01It doesn't stop just because I get older.
26:03I've got a good idea, darling.
26:05Since you want to keep having celebrations like this.
26:07No, if you say find a husband, I'm going to lose it.
26:11On Thursday night, the best brains in business were back on BBC One.
26:19I follow Deborah on Instagram.
26:20I love her.
26:21I do, I love her.
26:22She's vegan, got land, got horses, picks up horse shit with her bare hands.
26:26Love it.
26:27I think I'm using a Dragon's Den product as we speak.
26:30Really?
26:31It's the anti-perspirant stuff.
26:33Really?
26:34Refillable.
26:35I'm on the full power cacao from Dragon's Den.
26:39We're influenced, aren't we?
26:41We're absolute mugs.
26:46I would make a good Dragon, but I won't have any money.
26:49Yeah.
26:50I love your idea, but sorry, I don't have anything to give you.
26:55Let's do this.
26:57In the programme, we met a nervous bloke from Bournemouth
27:01who was looking to get his hands on the Dragon's Dosh.
27:04Hi there.
27:05I'm Phil, and I'm co-founder...
27:08Er...
27:13Co-founder, yeah?
27:15Sorry.
27:16Hi there.
27:17I'm Phil, co-founder of Boot Bananas.
27:19Boot Bananas!
27:20Oh!
27:21You might use a banana to put your shoe on instead of a shoehorn.
27:24And I'm here today seeking a £200,000 investment...
27:29Look at Sarah's face.
27:30That's a lot.
27:31...in exchange for 8% equity.
27:338%?
27:348%?
27:35He's nuts.
27:36No wonder he's stumbling, asking for £200,000.
27:38Boot Bananas was founded in 2012 with the creation of our flagship product,
27:42Boot Bananas Original Shoe Deodorisers.
27:45Oh, right.
27:46Oh, I get odourators.
27:47They're only a couple of quid.
27:49You'd need a bunch of Boot Bananas to stick in your dumpsters.
27:54Cheeky bastard.
27:55I've only got one pair of shoes.
27:57Last year, I turned over £1.37 million with a £220,000 net profit.
28:03Whoa!
28:04For a banana!
28:06No, but over the last 10 years, how much money have you made selling this product?
28:09Net.
28:11Erm...
28:12There's not a net profit.
28:13What?
28:14He's confusing me now, and I don't even...
28:15I thought he said he had £200,000 of a net profit, and now he's saying,
28:18no, there isn't.
28:19So that's why I go back to...
28:20I don't know how you can value this...
28:21Oh, wait, wait, wait.
28:22I can work that.
28:2340, 30.
28:24Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
28:25I got it.
28:26I got it.
28:27It's on my fingers.
28:28Hold on.
28:2990, 100, 120.
28:30Oh!
28:31Oh, God!
28:32Can I borrow some fingers, please?
28:3414, 30, carry the wand.
28:36It's zilch, Peter.
28:37I've actually made a net loss.
28:39Genuinely, I think we could be turning over £100 million.
28:42Really?
28:43£5,000.
28:44God, Alison, I'll lend you the money.
28:47I think £30 million I could probably do on my own.
28:50What, you doing here, then?
28:51You're doing fine.
28:52He's not invented the iPad, has he?
28:54It's a banana, you're shoving a smelly shoe.
28:56You know, once in a while, a business walks into the den...
28:59Mm.
29:00..where I can so clearly see the opportunity...
29:04Oh!
29:05Oh, is he gonna...?
29:06Oh, oh, this is sounding a bit more hopeful.
29:09If you can demonstrate this product within five, ten seconds,
29:12people go, oh, my God, I need that.
29:14He's got everyone clock in now, hasn't he?
29:16Yeah.
29:17And the battleground to do that, in my opinion, is social media.
29:22That is how I shop.
29:23If you were targeting Adam E, I'm buying it.
29:26See, this guy, he's all over social media.
29:28Oh, yeah.
29:29He's the one.
29:30Techno nerd, isn't he?
29:31Yeah.
29:32So, I'm gonna make you an offer.
29:33Oh, my God.
29:34OK.
29:35Yes, Stephen!
29:36Let's see this offer first.
29:37I'm gonna offer you all of the money.
29:40Oh.
29:41For 33%.
29:43Ooh!
29:44A third.
29:45He only wanted to offer, eh?
29:46Ah.
29:47Take it!
29:48Take it!
29:49What do you specifically want?
29:52Money!
29:53Everyone speak to Schmelgers.
29:55I want to spend less time doing the things I'm not very good at.
29:59Mm-hm.
30:00So I have more time for my family.
30:01Sounds like a good plan to me, Phil.
30:03How big is your family?
30:07Sorry.
30:08Oh, Phil!
30:09He loves his family.
30:11This is all for them.
30:12This is the X Factor moment, this now.
30:14Yeah.
30:15Waterworks are on.
30:16Two little bodies.
30:17My wife, Alex.
30:19And our dog.
30:20I'd be like, I've just got my partner.
30:23My little boy.
30:24Four dogs.
30:25Two cats.
30:2623 chickens.
30:27And a fish tank!
30:31And Phil, I'd like to help them.
30:33I'm gonna make you an offer and it's gonna mirror Stephen's offer.
30:36Oh!
30:37It's gonna make you an offer.
30:38Hey, it worked.
30:39It worked!
30:41Would you consider a share of the deal?
30:43Come together.
30:44Oh, you'd get the best of both worlds.
30:46Because he's the internet man and I don't know what Peter Jones is.
30:49I don't know what Peter does.
30:50No.
30:5116% each for £100,000 each.
30:52Yes.
30:53Yes.
30:54You've got it here.
30:55Oh!
30:56My God!
30:57Yes, Phil!
30:58You absolute weapon!
31:00It's done well there.
31:01I'm pleased for Phil, yeah.
31:03He went in there and he flogged his banana well.
31:05When are you going on Dragon's Den?
31:06When I get a brilliant idea.
31:09You have brilliant ideas all the time!
31:11To be honest, I think your most brilliant idea was having me.
31:14That wasn't my idea, actually.
31:16LAUGHTER
31:21In Wiltshire...
31:22Mary?
31:23Yes?
31:24I have a bit of a confession to make.
31:26Oh, no.
31:27Well, it's not on a scale of tragedy.
31:29It's only four.
31:30Giles and his wife, Mary.
31:33I did try to improve our standard of living.
31:36Oh, I know!
31:37You horrible creep!
31:39You've always wanted to spoil that lovely bath.
31:42Bath.
31:43I'm just going to buy another one.
31:44What happened was, I saw that I've been meaning for a long time to cut this bath towel, which
31:51was twice as big as it should have been.
31:53It's meant to be.
31:54It's not a bath towel.
31:55It's a bath mat.
31:56I thought, great.
31:57Well, it's easily...
31:58I've cut it in half easily.
32:00But then look what happened.
32:02It started to fall to bits and all these fibres started coming off.
32:07And then I thought to myself, I've got a lifetime supply of really, really useful rope to tie
32:14up the roses with, Mary.
32:17On Friday, a brand new bright idea from Number 10 was making the headlines on ITV.
32:23But no!
32:24No!
32:25No!
32:26No!
32:27We're just going to watch this one, this news, and then you can have your dinner.
32:33OK?
32:34OK.
32:35Hello.
32:36You know.
32:37In the last hour, the Prime Minister has confirmed every UK adult must have a digital ID
32:43if they want the right to work.
32:45Not a good idea.
32:46No.
32:47I don't oppose it.
32:48I've got nothing against it.
32:49I don't see what the issue is, because some people are really up in arms about it.
32:53Mmm.
32:54You know, sometimes they suggest things that just don't happen.
32:56Yeah.
32:57I think this is going to be one of them.
32:59Sikir Starmer said they'll help to make the country's borders more secure.
33:02How?
33:03About the people coming in, Jane.
33:04OK.
33:05Because anyone wanting to work here will have to show their ID on their smartphone.
33:10Have they got a smartphone?
33:12Well, it is smart, but not the way you use it.
33:16Do you think people who are taking illegal workers on give a fuck about ID?
33:21And there are serious questions around privacy and cyber security.
33:26Well, that's the other thing as well, I mean...
33:28It's about cyber security.
33:29I mean, look at...
33:30Especially at the moment.
33:31Marxist, JLR, co-op.
33:33Yeah.
33:34Do you trust the government with your details?
33:36I mean, come on.
33:37They have my details anyway, André.
33:39The French have long argued that Britain wouldn't be so attractive to illegal migrants if we had ID cards.
33:46Oh, shut up.
33:47It's no good telling the Brits that this is what they do in France.
33:50They will hate it even more if you say that.
33:52Yeah.
33:53This government will make...
33:54Oh, here he comes.
33:55...a new free of charge digital ID mandatory for the right to work.
34:00He's giving it us for free. Thank you. We don't want one.
34:05Let me spell that out. You will not be able to work in the United Kingdom if you do not have digital ID. It's as simple as that.
34:15You like it when Keir gets all stern, don't you?
34:18Chilling, isn't it, Natty?
34:19Not really, because nobody's going to obey him.
34:22The digital ID cards could look a bit like this.
34:25Oh, I like that. It would be like a dating profile. But like, here you go, I can work here.
34:30If you're a tech whiz, and a bit of a wrong'un, you've got a good opportunity here.
34:35Look, he's got the Union Jack on, though. All those flag wavers are going to be happy about that.
34:40According to Labour Together, a think tank which is close to the Prime Minister.
34:43I'd like to push Starmer into a think tank, Mary.
34:47We don't want to be a kind of society where people might be stopped in the street and ask for their papers,
34:52whether that's physical ones or on a smartphone.
34:55But if somebody needs my ID, I've got my wallet on me, and I've got my driving licence.
34:59Google me.
35:02And that is not the way to stop the boats.
35:05No, it's not the way. What is the way then, Helen?
35:08The fact is, Keir Starmer has rushed out this policy as a smokescreen for all the problems he's facing.
35:13She's absolutely right.
35:15Distraction.
35:16It's a distraction. It's something he wanted to say at the Labour conference to try and build up, like, you know, a little bit of confidence.
35:24It ain't going to work here.
35:26I'm surprised it's a digital ID and not just a chip up my bum.
35:29That will happen as well, Watson.
35:31Bum chip.
35:32You know where you...
35:33Well, you might not, but where you go and get your gel nails and all that business.
35:37I know one.
35:38My friend was having her hands done and she only got half a hand done because they were raided.
35:44So she had one hand with no varnish and one without because they were raided.
35:48So will they give these people cards?
35:51Yeah.
35:52Yeah.
35:53Yeah.
35:54Yeah.
35:55Yeah.
35:56Yeah.
35:57Yeah.
35:58In Blackpool.
35:59We had a Chinese fake away last night. It was absolutely fucking gross.
36:03Dossier.
36:04Well, no, the gross thing was the curry sauce that I put on it.
36:07Er.
36:08Pete and his little sister Sophie.
36:10Do you know what?
36:11Me and Paige are Chinese the other day and we were both sat on the couch,
36:14soft button under her and her jeans like, I feel ill.
36:16Yeah.
36:17All that MSG.
36:18Yeah.
36:19You've got to have no plans.
36:20Paige's on the kebab train now.
36:22Oh, finally.
36:23Yeah.
36:24Took her long enough.
36:25Only chicken though.
36:26Ah, I'm just kidding.
36:27But this is what I like about it.
36:28She goes, I'll have a chicken, I'll have a chicken one.
36:30And then as soon as my large donor tips up, she goes, can I have a couple of strands of dinner?
36:36And I'm like...
36:37Right.
36:38It was a juicy psychological thriller about a mum, a son and his girlfriend that had us gripped on Prime Video.
36:46I've seen adverts. I've heard people say, ooh, are you watching The Girlfriend?
36:50I have my son and his fiancee. I'm going to see where I fit in as an overbearing mum.
36:56Oh, you're definitely in the overbearing, I'm sure.
36:58Well, we've both got boys. Do you reckon you'll be a monster-in-law?
37:01Probably.
37:02Yeah, me too.
37:03I plan on it.
37:04The Girlfriend.
37:07The Girlfriend.
37:08The Girlfriend.
37:09That's something I've not shared in a while.
37:12Do you know what? I do miss having a girlfriend, but I love having a wife.
37:15Yeah.
37:16See, you know, you can't have it always, can you?
37:18Yeah.
37:19Girlfriend's easy to get rid of.
37:21Welcome.
37:23This is the Girlfriend.
37:24Yes.
37:25Cherry's the Girlfriend.
37:26Laura.
37:27Nice to see you.
37:28Uh, not really.
37:29Oh, Cherry.
37:30Laura, that's the mother-in-law.
37:31And that's Daniel, the son.
37:32What do you think?
37:33I...
37:34Listen.
37:35Modern architecture is lovely.
37:36She don't like it.
37:37Is it a sound investment?
37:38Well, it's better than a crusty pre-war mazonette.
37:39She'd have to rip everything out and start again.
37:40She wants modern, does Cherry?
37:41There's a bit of point scoring.
37:42It's a bit frosty, Tracer.
37:43Yeah.
37:44A bit frosty.
37:45So here we are.
37:46Oh, here we go.
37:47Here you are.
37:48Okay.
37:49Ooh.
37:50She's from a council estate.
37:51Oh, right.
37:52Oh, so...
37:53So here we are.
37:54Go on.
37:55Here we go.
37:56Here you are.
37:57Ooh!
37:58She's from a council estate.
37:59Oh, right.
38:00Oh, so it's class, then.
38:01A mother's a butcher.
38:02It's to do with class.
38:03No, it's just that she lied quite a bit at the beginning.
38:05Well, I'd lie and all.
38:06And his mother found out.
38:07This is it, you see.
38:08Did I not make myself clear?
38:09Oh, hey!
38:10Oh, she looks quite a hard woman, doesn't she?
38:12She does.
38:13Laura.
38:14Yeah, but the thing is, I'm not a child and you can't tell me what to do, so...
38:17Move on.
38:18Yeah.
38:19Oh, she looks quite a hard woman, doesn't she?
38:21She does.
38:22Laura.
38:23Yeah, but the thing is, I'm not a child and you can't tell me what to do, so...
38:26Move on.
38:27He's mine now.
38:28Your lies will catch up with you eventually, Cherry.
38:31I'm gonna make sure of it.
38:32Oh, what does she know?
38:33What lies?
38:34What does she know about Cherry?
38:35Who's the villain in this, do you reckon?
38:36I'm not sure, but Laura's intense.
38:42Oh, this is nice.
38:43Where are we now?
38:44North London.
38:45I mean, there's trees and everything.
38:46Mr. Sanderson.
38:49Oh!
38:50Oh, my giddy arm.
38:52What the hell is going on?
38:53Lisa nipples are covered.
38:55Yeah.
38:56It's half the battle.
38:57You're staying over again.
38:58Oh, we're gonna have to start charging you rents.
39:00Well, yes, they are a couple.
39:02Daniel and I were just talking about his birthday tradition.
39:06What's that?
39:07She's got that horrible fake smell all the time, hasn't she?
39:10For Saturday.
39:11Oh, what tradition?
39:12Spending it with me and every waking moment with me.
39:14Yeah, yeah.
39:15He and I go away.
39:16With no-one else.
39:17Yeah.
39:18So, every year, Mum and I go and see a musical and then we eat dumplings in Chinatown until
39:24we explode.
39:25Oh, lovely.
39:26And you're not coming.
39:28That's a shame.
39:29I've booked a little surprise trip for us this weekend.
39:32Uh-oh.
39:33Well played.
39:35Oh.
39:36Where to?
39:37You're not invited.
39:39I went to sleep.
39:41It's climbing.
39:42You're kidding.
39:43Look.
39:44Oh, there's a wonderful...
39:45Daniel's like...
39:46I love this.
39:47He's on the fence now and Cherry's giving it there.
39:49We could shift our plans to next week, right?
39:54The dumplings he'll keep.
39:55Oh!
39:56He's chosen Cherry!
39:57One-nil.
39:58Of course, honey.
39:59That's fine.
40:00Oh!
40:01She's got the...
40:02She'll be fucking fuming, Laura!
40:04Oh!
40:08Jesus, Daniel.
40:09Oh, God.
40:10Oh, climbing.
40:11I can't think of nowhere.
40:12Somebody said to me, we're going rock climbing.
40:13I went, sure are then.
40:14Have a nice life.
40:15Yeah, I wouldn't know.
40:16I'd sooner go to the musical.
40:18I'll stuff myself with dumplings.
40:20I would.
40:21Apparently this one's a little tricky.
40:23But you got this.
40:24Daniel.
40:25You OK?
40:26No, not really.
40:27Oh!
40:28Well, would you trust her to hold your rope?
40:30Is there no professionals around with crash mats and stuff?
40:37Oh, it ain't hooked to anything.
40:38Oh, shit, that's high.
40:45This is serious climbing, Jane.
40:47Yes.
40:48Don't pull him off.
40:50Not on the rock, Jen.
40:51No, not on the rocks.
40:52You don't want pulling off.
40:54Are you not clipping in?
40:55Yeah, get a clip in there.
40:56That's all right.
40:57I don't need all of them.
40:58You do need to clip in.
40:59Why?
41:00He's not clipping in.
41:01What's clipping in?
41:02In the wind that attach it to the rock thing and do that.
41:06OK, watch this.
41:08What's he going to do?
41:09Nothing good comes after.
41:11Watch this.
41:12Don't be so cocky.
41:14Exactly.
41:18Don't be a hero.
41:19I don't want to see this.
41:20If he falls, Simon, I'm really going to...
41:24No!
41:25You see?
41:27Oh, shit!
41:28Shit!
41:30Oh!
41:31Should have clipped in, Daniel.
41:32That's what you get with showing off!
41:35Later, with Daniel's life hanging in the balance, Cherry was desperate for news.
41:41Laura?
41:42Hi, Cherry.
41:43Laura, hi.
41:44Thank you so much for picking up.
41:45How is he?
41:47What's she going to say?
41:48I need to see him.
41:49I'm driving up today, OK?
41:50There's no need to come back, Cherry.
41:52Why not?
41:53He's still there.
41:54Daniel's gone.
41:55He died this morning.
41:57He's not dead yet!
41:59Liar!
42:02She is twisted.
42:04I actually can't believe she's just said that.
42:07That's disgusting.
42:09I know you can hear me.
42:11I'm right here, buddy.
42:12So, what happens if he pulls through now?
42:14It is happening.
42:15It's a bit munch-housing, isn't it?
42:16Yeah.
42:21Oh, wow!
42:22Oh, my God, he's coming back.
42:23Is he breathing?
42:24It's a miracle.
42:25Daniel?
42:29He's waking up!
42:30Come on, Daniel, keep going!
42:34Oh, you bastard!
42:36Oh, I'll have to wait till the next one now.
42:37He didn't even say now, did he?
42:38He just went...
42:39You see, I've told little porkies in the past to Paige, you know, like when she's gone out with her mates for the weekend or whatever, down south, and I've said that I've put a mirror up.
42:51You know, I've just deferred the problem to down the line.
42:53Yeah.
42:54Because I know that she's going to come home and see that the mirror isn't up, but in that moment she's happy that I've done it.
43:00And the kids definitely haven't had a kebab for their tea.
43:03Yeah.
43:04No, McDonald's.
43:05Not spending kebab money.
43:07Well, they're not having, they're not having fucking donna, mate.
43:11That's for daddy.
43:14In Leeds.
43:15I shaved my armpits this morning.
43:17Bloody hell, that's him for a treat, isn't it?
43:19We've got a child-free night tonight as well, but I'm in a mood with him, so...
43:23Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
43:25You better get out of that mood if you want to get your end away.
43:27No.
43:28Listen, look at them legs.
43:29Oh, no.
43:30You've shaved your armpits.
43:31I shaved the pits, but I didn't do the legs.
43:32But Elvis has got a beard.
43:34Elvis has got a beard, yeah.
43:36On Friday, it was Rodents on the Rampage that made headline news on the BBC.
43:42Bubble!
43:43Lunchtime news, focus.
43:46You're not ready for some news?
43:48Hopefully it's good news.
43:49Hopefully the news is as good as this Cinnabon.
43:53Now, rats can cause a range of problems.
43:55Nah, I'm done.
43:56Nah.
43:57Whoa.
43:58No.
43:59Long tails.
44:00My mum was a pet rat.
44:01I know she did.
44:02She called it Ascot.
44:03There were more than half a million reports of infestations involving the animals between
44:092023 and this summer.
44:12They're everywhere.
44:13You're only 10 metres from a rat, aren't you?
44:16I haven't heard any rats this year yet, Mary.
44:18As well as food waste and sewage systems, climate change appears to be helping drive the rise.
44:24Oh, great.
44:25Another thing we have to thank climate change for, more rats.
44:29It's dawn on a small housing estate in Croydon.
44:32Oh dear, Croydon.
44:33Why would it be in Croydon?
44:35Yeah.
44:36And the residents are waking up.
44:39And not just the humans.
44:42Whee!
44:43There you come.
44:44With rats on the ground, in the sewers, above your head in the trees.
44:47In the trees?
44:48Wait, wait.
44:49Since when do rats go on trees?
44:51I thought that was squirrels.
44:52Wait, wait, wait, what?
44:55They've adapted.
44:57They've adapted.
44:58And, of course, in the bins.
45:01In the dust bin, you see?
45:02Yeah.
45:03It's all that food people leave out.
45:04I start to get this smell in the kitchen constantly.
45:06What's Ed Sheeran doing living in Croydon?
45:08I'm just going to go on the news, but I won't put my top on if it's all right.
45:13I can hear them in the cupboard, even to a point where one morning I woke up and I can hear them fighting.
45:19You know, that's the last thing you want to hear.
45:21You know, rats fighting over your Cheerios in the cupboard.
45:24Clean Kill, the company tackling the infestation on this estate.
45:28Can you imagine doing that job?
45:29No, I couldn't, Jenny.
45:30No, I can't either.
45:31No.
45:32There you go, there you go.
45:33Ow!
45:34Isn't he meant to be catching the rat?
45:35He's meant to be catching the rat.
45:36He was terrified.
45:37He was terrified of it.
45:38Climate change may be speeding things up, but the rise of the rats is really a reflection of who we are.
45:43Them rats are looking well healthy, I'm not going to lie.
45:46Yeah, they do look like they're eating good, innit?
45:47Yeah.
45:48We're going to be outnumbered by rats before long.
45:50I think we're outnumbered by rats anyway.
45:52It's not AI we need to worry about.
45:54It's rats.
45:55Do you remember that little shrew we had in this cottage?
45:58Oh, Stuart Little.
45:59Yeah.
46:00He was sweet.
46:01Do you remember?
46:02He was so tame that he went across the wall.
46:05He kept bringing dry leaves in to make a nest.
46:07He used to come across the floor, Mary.
46:09In front of us.
46:10And then make a little nest underneath.
46:12And then we had to tidy it away and he started all over again the next day.
46:16He was sweet.
46:17Mm.
46:18Then I found him drowned in a dog bowl.
46:24From pretty huge to has anyone ever been this big before?
46:27The whole Swifty Showgirl story streaming right now.
46:30And young never been away, Brits get paired with pensioners who thought their travelling days were done for a race across Japan.
46:37Worlds Apart begins Tuesday after Bake Off at 9.15.
46:41Well, skits and giggles next.
46:43Mitchell and Webb are on the way.
46:45It's a perfect...
46:46The perfect perfect world.
46:48Where is this world?
46:53The next�'s world isnapped of building.
46:56The perfect world.
46:58But in the police, that we're done I want to give you one of myech rick that made a pretty good week.
47:02That's it.
47:03Fast ***
47:04When we took off all times the Vermoo Priority Time, we had to really hear the news.
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