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00:00Jenny, I'm doing pancakes. I've got you a real nice pancake.
00:02Oh, lovely.
00:03Pancake, ain't it?
00:04Yeah, what am I having?
00:05A pancake.
00:06Is it sweet or is it...
00:07Sweet.
00:08Mince, oh.
00:09It's a sweet one.
00:10Oh, go on then.
00:10We shouldn't have had it to...
00:12No, I've just done it for you.
00:13Oh, you know.
00:14Look.
00:16Oh, Lee.
00:19Oh, I love that.
00:21My teeth don't look like that, do they?
00:23That's not your teeth, that's your tash.
00:25Oh, this is your cheeky sweat.
00:28I think it looks like you.
00:30Look.
00:32My tash.
00:35No!
00:37Oh.
00:38What an entrance.
00:39I'm living for this.
00:40Taser in.
00:41Oh.
00:42We had a little chocolate, this all.
00:43I don't think so.
00:44Hey.
00:45Oh, here we go.
00:46What is that?
00:47Oh, shut up.
00:49This doesn't look real.
00:50I don't think it is.
00:51A flamboisier.
00:52What's a flamboisier?
00:54Oh, I knew it.
00:55No.
00:56This looks dodgy, doesn't it?
00:57Does?
00:57Why is it dodgy?
00:59This is going to go down so badly.
01:01None of us learn, do we?
01:03Wow.
01:05I hate you.
01:06Must remember that bellend.
01:08This is what everyone came for.
01:11The alarm bells were ringing with me, Mary.
01:13At least the nipples are covered.
01:14Yeah.
01:15It's half the battle.
01:16In the week Barack Obama said the aliens were real,
01:20all, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:23The gladiators were flexing on BBC One.
01:27Trying to escape from Comet.
01:32Comet, she's so cute.
01:35She's giving glamorous.
01:37We're the same height but totally different physique.
01:47We're like a before and after shot.
01:50Netflix wouldn't let a wall get in the way of true love.
01:53Connor?
01:54Yes?
01:55From the moment I met you, I knew I met my perfect match.
01:58Really, it's just like the next level dating app
02:01but without a photograph.
02:03Oh, okay.
02:04Well, what do you think?
02:05When we met on the app, yes, you see some photographs of someone.
02:08There could have been anybody.
02:09Could have been anyone.
02:10Yeah.
02:11I mean, you thought I was a bloke, didn't you?
02:13And ghosts didn't you?
02:13Not from the photographs.
02:16You hadn't shaved that day.
02:20And there was desk-based daylight robbery on Prime Video.
02:25On your feet!
02:26Hands in the air!
02:28Hands in the air!
02:29We used to get shotlifters all the time when I worked in town.
02:32It was brilliant.
02:32I just loved the drama of it.
02:34You know, I wasn't on security so I didn't care less.
02:37And plus, you know, some people, if they're stealing, like, kids' clothes or whatever,
02:43just turn a blind eye.
02:45They mustn't eat it.
02:46And that is why Debenhams is no longer on the high streets.
02:57In Leeds...
02:58I'm going on a date tomorrow.
02:59With someone else?
03:00Yeah.
03:00You lie!
03:01No.
03:02Chat to me, where are you going?
03:04Bowling.
03:04Best friends Danielle and Daniella.
03:08Nice.
03:09Because apparently my personality doesn't come out over a coffee,
03:12but my personality might come out in a positive way over bowling.
03:15I'm going to be honest.
03:16I'm really competitive.
03:17You're competitive and you're an arsehole.
03:19I know, but I'm going to pretend I'm not tomorrow.
03:22I'm going to wait till we're married!
03:26On Saturday night, famous faces in fancy dress were having a sing-song on ITV.
03:32Nothing says episode finale like a glass of Prosecco.
03:37The only good thing about this programme, Charles, is it's the final.
03:41Which will allow us time for our brain cells to regenerate.
03:45Regenerate.
03:45Having been turned to mush by watching it.
03:47Mm.
03:48Who are you?
03:49Who are you?
03:50Who's that behind the mask?
03:52Woo!
03:54Who's behind the mask?
03:55That's an older version.
03:57Who's behind the mask like?
03:59First up tonight, they came, they saw.
04:02Will they conquer?
04:03It's conquer!
04:04Oh!
04:06Let's see what he did there.
04:07Who chose to dress up as a conquer?
04:09I love a conquer.
04:12Look out for clues, Daniela.
04:14I am!
04:15There's clues in here.
04:16Every jest has been in the picture, but now, reality.
04:20Reality?
04:21Does that mean a reality show?
04:22Oh, reality show!
04:23See, when they talk in this silly voice, you don't know who's what, where, when.
04:27They sound the same, don't they?
04:28I'm having kittens just thinking about it.
04:31Kittens?
04:32Kittens?
04:32Or pussycat dolls.
04:33Cat Deely.
04:34Cat.
04:34It could be Cat Deely, Nattie.
04:38I'm used to counting down.
04:39Countdown!
04:40Jimmy Carr.
04:42Oh, there's it.
04:43He won't be on this shit, will he?
04:44Who's the presenter of Countdown?
04:46Carol Voldemort, or whatever she's called.
04:51I woke up today with this feeling
04:55The better things are coming my way
04:58It's not a pussycat doll.
04:59It's not a pussycat doll.
05:01It's not a pussycat doll, is it?
05:01Why?
05:02Because it's a bloke.
05:03And if the sunshine has a meaning
05:05It's telling me not to let things get in the way
05:08I know that voice.
05:10Yeah, that's definitely not a singer, that.
05:12Yeah, they're seeing it, innit?
05:14Yeah, they're seeing it.
05:20This is a terrible force, George, isn't it?
05:23Oh, who the bloody hell could it be?
05:25Susie Dent, baby.
05:26She's no cocky.
05:28Mum.
05:29Get on down!
05:30Yeah!
05:34Who do you think is behind the moth?
05:36Absolutely no idea.
05:38What about, erm, him off this morning?
05:41Who?
05:43McDermott?
05:46Oh, it's moth.
05:47Oh, she's brilliant.
05:49You usually find me singing uptown with the girls.
05:53Uptown with the girls.
05:54Flare East.
05:55Because she sang uptown funk.
05:58I'm running rings around those other moth singers.
06:01Hoops, rings, Olympics.
06:03Right.
06:04Kelly Holmes.
06:04Oh, I've not got a clue with all this.
06:11Oh, a little time.
06:14A little time to think things over.
06:17Let me listen to the voice.
06:20Better read between the lines.
06:23Whoever the fuck this is can sing anyway, jeez.
06:26With a voice like that, that's got to be a professional.
06:29Yeah.
06:29I don't know if I could say it again.
06:34Oh, I love her voice.
06:35This is Janet Jackson, this, Soph, I'm telling you now.
06:38Is it shite?
06:40I want to know I love it.
06:43I want to know I love it.
06:46I do think it's Flare East.
06:49And I can't even remember now why I said that.
06:51I want you to show me.
06:52Uptown.
06:54I want to know I love it.
06:57You're right into it, aren't you?
06:59I want to know I love it.
07:01It's got to be someone from a UK girl band, doesn't it?
07:04Like Mystique, Sugar Babes.
07:07What about Mucho Bueno?
07:10She's got to win it, love.
07:12Marth's got to win it without a shadow of a doubt.
07:15After revealing the champion.
07:17It's Mum!
07:20Yes!
07:21Yes!
07:22Deserved and all.
07:23We got to see who was who.
07:25Take it off, take it off.
07:28Take it off, take it off, take it off.
07:31You're too fast, Mum.
07:32Too fast?
07:33Take it off.
07:34Take it off, take it off.
07:35Oh my God!
07:36What the fuck?
07:37No!
07:39Ben Shepard!
07:40Ben Shepard!
07:42I guessed it was Cat Dealey, Natty, but I'd forgotten that it was a man singing.
07:47And he was doing something else.
07:48Was he climbing the mountain or something?
07:50Yeah.
07:51Ben Shepard's a multi-talented man, he does get in sports as well.
07:54Mark is our 2026 champion and it is time.
07:58Oh, here we go.
07:59Come on.
08:00Let's see who it is then.
08:01Come on, Mark.
08:02Everybody.
08:03Take it off, take it off.
08:21It's Keisha!
08:23It's Keisha!
08:25It's Keisha!
08:26It's Keisha!
08:27Come on, Sugar Babes.
08:29Oh, it's her at a sugar babe.
08:31No!
08:32You were close with one of the sugar babes, you just got the wrong babe.
08:36Put it this way, when I was trying to describe me image, it was Ben Shepard here, but McDermott here.
08:45It's not McDermott.
08:49What's his first name?
08:51Dermott.
08:53What's his second name?
08:54It's Dermott or Levy.
08:55Why am I calling him McDermott?
08:57I don't know.
08:58Has anyone ever called him that before?
09:00No.
09:03I'm sorry.
09:04Why is it that as soon as something happens in this house, everyone screams my name?
09:10Dad!
09:11The power went off yesterday, we had a power cut.
09:14Sarah, her husband Andre, and their daughter Shay.
09:18All the lights gone off and Aidan turns around to me like, Dad, what's happened?
09:22I was like, we've got a power cut.
09:23Two seconds later, who's it shouting down the stairs?
09:27Shay.
09:27Dad!
09:28Dad!
09:29There's no power!
09:30I'm like, yes Shay, it's called a power cut.
09:33Fix it!
09:33Everything is, Dad!
09:35Dad!
09:36Yes, Shay!
09:37Yes, Aidan!
09:39Yes, Sarah!
09:40What do you want me to do?
09:41No, no, because Shay came into the room while I was watching TV.
09:44Yeah!
09:45Did you do it?
09:46Did you?
09:47I said, yeah.
09:48And I said, go and ask your dad.
09:50Oh, is that your fault then?
09:52Dad!
09:52On Tuesday night, we got some cost-cutting tips for our holidays on Channel 4.
09:58This is right up your Strava, isn't it, Padders?
10:01Surprised you haven't got a little notebook out.
10:03It's all going in, don't you worry.
10:05I'll tell you what, if you watch this and you book a holiday and it's a good price, I'll
10:11be amazed.
10:12Yeah.
10:12Yeah.
10:12Because you can't even check in online.
10:16Is there anything more satisfying and exciting than being on holiday?
10:24No!
10:25No, it depends where you are and who you're with.
10:28Why are you looking at me like that?
10:30Because every time we've gone on holiday together, there's always been a fucking disaster.
10:34Yes, a bargain holiday, of course.
10:37OK.
10:38OK, chat to me.
10:39Everybody loves a bargain, don't they?
10:41Yes.
10:41This time, I'm going all in on that oh-so-indulgent, all-singing, all-dancing holiday, the all-inclusive.
10:51I love an all-inclusive.
10:53I never, ever go all-inclusive.
10:55That is criminal.
10:57Cancun.
10:58Let's go to...
10:59Mexico.
10:59Let's go to Cancun, Mary.
11:01Well, Philip said we should go there, actually.
11:03Philip?
11:04Wetton.
11:05Oh, yeah.
11:08When you go to all-inclusive, you...
11:11As soon as you open your eyes, the trick is to start drinking.
11:15Like, me and Ben love an 8am gin on the balcony.
11:18But this is the problem.
11:20It's scroats like you...
11:21LAUGHTER
11:23...that take the piss and ruin it for everybody else.
11:28MUSIC PLAYS
11:29Secrets of...
11:30No!
11:30Oh!
11:31I like a bit of mystery.
11:32I'll tell you.
11:33You love a buffet.
11:34I will tell you what the secret is.
11:35You actually love a buffet.
11:36You've got to stop going for the carbs.
11:38You need to fill up on the meat and the seafood.
11:41LAUGHTER
11:41That is how you get your buck's worth.
11:45With so much choice, all free, it's hard not to go overboard.
11:50At the buffet, it'd be so easy to overindulge.
11:53Yes, you can pile your plate with anything you want.
11:56And then go back for seconds.
11:57Well, you see, you can't on the manjaro, it'd be no good.
12:00But there is a good reason to plate your food thoughtfully.
12:04Plate it thoughtfully?
12:06Yeah.
12:06It's called your waistline, isn't it?
12:09Don't.
12:09LAUGHTER
12:10I'm meeting Professor Barry Smith,
12:12an expert in the psychology behind our food choices.
12:16Of course a Barry Smith would suck the fun out of an all-inclusive.
12:20What else was Barry Smith putting this world for?
12:22Seriously, son.
12:23I mean, you eat with your eyes, Professor Barry Smith.
12:26Is that what he's going to say?
12:27He's going to tell me how to get maximum pleasure
12:30from my all-inclusive smash and grabs.
12:32Is he going to tell us how to eat at a buffet?
12:35You know what, I need this.
12:36I need this.
12:36I'm disgusting.
12:37No, I need this.
12:38I think they're eating too much into this.
12:40You just get your plate of food and say, I'll need it.
12:42We eat first with our eyes.
12:44You say, that looks delicious.
12:46Oh, I tell you what, he's on the ball, eh?
12:47He is!
12:48Oh!
12:49I could be Professor Jane Minty, really.
12:52And even in the buffet, it's spread out in a way that's attractive.
12:55So don't undo all that work by piling everything on the same plate
12:59in a haphazard way.
13:00Oh, Jay!
13:02I don't like that.
13:04You know when you see it piled up like that?
13:06I don't like that.
13:07I think that looks horrible.
13:09I'd rather go up ten times.
13:11Well, you do.
13:12I have to say, I have been guilty of piling far too many things
13:18on my plate at a buffet.
13:19Yep, that is you.
13:20I'm with you, darling.
13:21That is you.
13:22Hundred percent.
13:23Hundy-pundy.
13:23Get there and that's...
13:24Fuck, there's pasta.
13:25Let's put a bit of that on.
13:27It's still there.
13:28You just go and eat.
13:28Does it matter that carbonara doesn't really go with berf-boguignon?
13:32No.
13:33Wrangs.
13:33We have to be our own chefs, as it were, and think, what's the right menu here?
13:39Oh, where's the fun in that?
13:41No, I like it.
13:42I like the orderliness of it all.
13:44No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
13:47Arrange it in such a way as it would be attractive if you were offering that plate to someone else.
13:52To someone else.
13:52Now, I'd be naffed, wouldn't I, trying to build a plate for you?
13:56Huh?
13:56Yeah.
13:57Well, it started off with a bit of dried bread.
14:00Yeah.
14:01No better.
14:01Chips.
14:02Chips, yeah.
14:03Chicken.
14:05Chips.
14:05And dried bread.
14:06Bit of dried bread.
14:08Shirley's happy.
14:09And that's it.
14:09I mean, we can arrange stuff so that it doesn't, things don't cross-contaminate.
14:13Like, I wouldn't want me Indian touching my Chinese and my Chinese touching me British,
14:17do you know what I mean?
14:19It smells like reform.
14:31In Manchester.
14:32Sean, seeing what your dad did.
14:34Give me this for Valentine's Day, I saw it.
14:37The diamond store.
14:38I bought me something jewellery-ish.
14:41Got it out of the bag.
14:42Box of chocolates.
14:43The Malones.
14:44It's the fork that counts, isn't it?
14:46Valentine's Day.
14:48Why would you put it in a diamond bag?
14:51A diamond store bag.
14:53Why would you do that?
14:54It's pleasing on the eye.
14:57You know, it's...
14:58Ta-da!
15:00Chocolates.
15:01What do you give chocolates to Sean for, anyway?
15:06On Saturday night, we were back in Sheffield with the fittest people on telly.
15:12Ugh.
15:15I went in my mouth.
15:16You know when you used to go to the gym for that one time?
15:19Yeah.
15:20What was the best apparatus you used to use?
15:22Did you use one?
15:23The toilet.
15:24I used to go sit on it for a sit-down.
15:30Do you know what somebody was saying to me the other day?
15:33That they exercise for the mental health.
15:34And I actually think that exercise makes my mental health worse.
15:38Like, I'm being serious.
15:39I hate it that much.
15:41In the programme, contenders Helena and Nicky were ready to face off in the final game.
15:48The Eliminator.
15:50Oh, this is the cutscene.
15:52This is my favourite.
15:53Never been to a gym in my life.
15:55I would rather stick pins in my eyes than go to a gym.
15:58Contenders!
15:59Ready!
16:01Come on, girls.
16:02Three, two, one.
16:05Oh!
16:07Here goes Nicky with the first hurdle.
16:09Oh, awkward landing. That might have jarred.
16:12Oh, Nicky!
16:13Oh, that'll cost her.
16:15The second hurdle was a little bit awkward for Nicky, too.
16:18Let's see what her rubber body strength's like.
16:19Oh, she's just a weird girl. Look at her.
16:21I just could not do that.
16:23It's a real struggle. Nicky can't get her feet on the platform.
16:27Use your legs.
16:28Use your legs up the rope.
16:29Nicky really struggling as Helena gets onto the overhead.
16:33Nicky's not getting up that rope at all, Jay.
16:35No.
16:36Finally, Nicky is up there.
16:38Oh, she's on.
16:38Oh!
16:39And jumps for the first rug at the ladder, but she's gone.
16:42She missed it.
16:43Oh, no.
16:43Oh!
16:44She must have had slippy hands.
16:46Slippy neck.
16:47Don't laugh.
16:48Don't laugh at our Nicky, bless her.
16:50Well, it's wide open now for Helena to go through and win this eliminator.
16:55Helena's won this.
16:55She's just got to take her time now, hasn't it?
16:58Nicky takes on the rope once more.
17:00Oh, she could hardly get up it.
17:01The first time's got no fucking chance this time, hasn't she?
17:04She needs someone to bellow in her ear.
17:07You've got this!
17:10Here we go.
17:11It does the same thing.
17:13Nicky's up there.
17:14Another jump and another fall.
17:16Again!
17:16Oh, fucking hell.
17:18I think I'd give up at that stage.
17:20Oh, I would, yeah.
17:20I could have a gin and tonic.
17:21Oh, I hope in hell.
17:22A mistake-free finish, and she got her ladder.
17:27Would've given her a ladder?
17:28Yeah!
17:28What's that about?
17:29Reasonable adjustments!
17:30Yeah!
17:31That's what that is!
17:33You know what?
17:33Now I've seen that ladder, I might enter this.
17:35All Nicky can do is keep going.
17:38If I ever get on gladiators, I want to go against Nicky.
17:40I can't wait to see her on the zip line!
17:43Straight on the deck.
17:45Straight down!
17:46Now for the travelator.
17:48She takes a moment to look around.
17:50Here we go.
17:51The humble eater.
17:52Helena's going insultingly slow, isn't she?
17:54Yeah, I know.
17:55Here goes Helena.
17:57Come on, Helena!
17:59Go on, Helena!
17:59First run of the travelator.
18:02Game?
18:02Simon.
18:03She's not making any progress, Mary.
18:05And she's going to run out of steam here.
18:07Oh, no!
18:08She's collapsed!
18:09That's not very good, is it?
18:11She's still got ages, though.
18:12And all of a sudden, there's a confident stride about Nicky in blue.
18:17Helena, get up there!
18:18She's behind you!
18:20She'll be able to sense that Nicky is now close behind.
18:23Oh, no!
18:24Oh, she's gone again!
18:26Let's go!
18:27And she might be even closer in a moment.
18:29Oh!
18:30Oh!
18:31Have they had so much strength before this show?
18:34Ah!
18:34Not even on a piece of apparatus, and she's falling over.
18:37Nicky's falling over a flat floor.
18:39I've never seen an eliminator like this.
18:42Wait, is Nicky going to do it?
18:43Surely Nicky can't win, cos she used to add it.
18:46Can Nicky achieve the impossible?
18:47This one!
18:49Come on, Nicky!
18:50Is it worth it, ladies?
18:52Yet another ball means she has to start again!
18:56Wait, this has gone down to the wire, innit?
18:58And they go together!
18:59Come on!
19:00Come on!
19:01Oh, my God!
19:02Oh, my goodness!
19:03Who's got it left in them?
19:05Go on!
19:06Go on!
19:06Go on!
19:07Come on, Helena!
19:08Come on, Helena!
19:09Come on, Helena!
19:10It's a powerful run here!
19:12Helena's made it!
19:13Oh, whoa!
19:14She's up!
19:15Helena's up!
19:15And she holds on!
19:18Well done!
19:19What a fight!
19:20She's been so, so determined to finish!
19:24Finally!
19:25But do you know what?
19:25You've got to give it to Nicky for just catching up.
19:28Yeah, fair play.
19:29She gave it her best.
19:31If at first you don't succeed, try and try and then get a set of steps out.
19:40In Leeds...
19:41Well, Margaret's back from her holiday and I haven't heard a peep.
19:45From her.
19:46Well, I've heard off her this morning and I thought, no.
19:49I'm too wapped to see you today.
19:51I thought, I'm busy for the next 11 days.
19:53I just want to have a chilled slow morning at home.
19:55Yeah.
19:56Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
19:58And then, Ezra's a little bit unwell as well.
20:01But I've not told anybody about it, really.
20:04Apart from Mum, maybe, I'm not sure.
20:07And Katie texted me saying,
20:09Oh, I've heard Ezra's not well.
20:11So I think that Mum's told Margaret.
20:13Margaret's told Katie.
20:15Katie.
20:15And Katie's sex me.
20:16Yeah.
20:17That's exactly what's happened.
20:19Yeah.
20:19I thought, Jesus Christ.
20:21I thought...
20:21You don't need a town crier with relatives like her.
20:24No.
20:24This week, we were back in the box looking for love on Netflix.
20:29Love can be quite blind, can't it?
20:31If you think about it, because you see some people together and you just go,
20:35Well, that isn't really right.
20:40You have to see somebody.
20:42Yeah, but you're lookest.
20:43I'm totally lookest.
20:45100%.
20:45I'm judgy.
20:47I judge you.
20:49I'm holding out for someone who gets me.
20:53Kevin is talking to two girls and he's leading them both on.
20:59Not picked between the two of them yet, but he's letting each one think they're the only one.
21:05I'm just going to say it because I just can't with this whole fucking secret of shit.
21:08Yeah.
21:08Like, it's me and Kia.
21:09Oh, wow.
21:10Tyler's going to make Kevin choose here.
21:12Me or her, let's go.
21:13Yeah.
21:13You and Kia have been phenomenal.
21:17I don't want to fucking let anybody down.
21:20Oh.
21:21Oh, you got to.
21:22I don't know what your journey is with Kia, but what I would need, like, today is for you to...
21:30Choose me.
21:31Exactly.
21:32Only me dating me.
21:33I've been put on the spot like that a few times, bro.
21:38I guarantee he's going to deflect this and not make a choice.
21:42You've been just so fucking steady rock fighting for it.
21:48So fucking steady rock.
21:51Like, wow.
21:52Then pick her.
21:54What are you waiting for?
21:56That's true love right there.
21:57That's fucking true love.
22:00Why do you have to swear all the time, Kevin?
22:02He does have a potty mouth, doesn't he?
22:04So what are you going to do, Kevin?
22:07She's done with the bullshit there, Kevin.
22:09What are you going to do?
22:10She's putting an end down.
22:11Make a choice.
22:11I am choosing...
22:13Yes.
22:15...fucking Tyler.
22:16Oh, I don't like the F word being used.
22:18Fucking Tyler.
22:19This is truly...
22:20You didn't say that.
22:21You didn't.
22:22Are we, like, official?
22:26You are currently my girl.
22:28Currently.
22:29Don't know what's going to happen later on in the date.
22:31But right now, we're good.
22:34I mean, if you think about it, you know, Paige is currently my wife.
22:36That's your current wife.
22:37Yeah, that's the current wife.
22:39Sounds like bloody Henry VIII.
22:41Tyler still had a few questions about Kevin's other love interest.
22:46Is there any parts of you that feel like you have, like, feelings of love for her?
22:51Oh.
22:51Hang on.
22:52The answer here is no.
22:55No.
22:56None.
22:56She's dead to me.
22:57Is he going to know that?
23:00Love is a very strong word.
23:05I'm thinking, well...
23:07But I will say, I'm definitely, you know, bonded, exchanged gifts.
23:13It's relating to a lot of...
23:16A lot of stuff.
23:17What?
23:18Spit it out, Kevin.
23:19He's kindest not saying anything.
23:22How are you going to tell me that?
23:23You literally asked me to be your girlfriend.
23:26I don't know if he asked you.
23:27I think you asked him to ask you.
23:29Yeah.
23:30I'm going to go.
23:31Oh, she's going.
23:32Well, she's laid it on the table.
23:35Kevin, what are you going to do?
23:36Well, he's going to use that as an excuse to go with the other girl now.
23:39You reckon?
23:39She's too feisty.
23:40She's too much.
23:41I think it might draw him closer.
23:43Tyler, don't go.
23:44This man has no conviction to his words like this.
23:49Don't go.
23:49Don't go.
23:50Please, you're the love of my life.
23:53I fucking love you.
23:58Tyler makes me feel like she may be the one.
24:00Oh.
24:02He's choosing Tyler.
24:03Hello.
24:03So I'm ready to see if she's available and she's ready to see me.
24:07OK.
24:08The next day.
24:10Yeah.
24:14Tyler?
24:15What?
24:16Is she there?
24:17I bet she hasn't turned up.
24:19Hello, hello.
24:22No way.
24:23She's not there.
24:24She's gone.
24:25She's pushed off.
24:29Oh!
24:31Oh, no!
24:33Nobody's on the other side.
24:35Now, that's the wake-up call, isn't it?
24:38Yeah.
24:38Well, plan B now.
24:39Plan B.
24:41Er, Kaya!
24:42Hey.
24:43Hi.
24:44Oh, you'll be cool.
24:45Jesus Christ.
24:46God knows where this is going to go.
24:48How are we feeling?
24:50We are feeling good.
24:52I'm like, Kaya, listen.
24:53I know I didn't choose you, but I choose you now.
24:55That's all that matters.
24:57All I know is that Kaya is one of one.
25:00Kaya is here.
25:03Unlike Tyler.
25:04My heart has always been loving and caring for you.
25:10I think he's listened to one too many R&B albums, son.
25:13What a load of bloody cock and bull.
25:16Jeepers, has he heard himself?
25:18Kevin, oh, my God.
25:20Oh, she's buying it.
25:21Oh, no, she's bought it.
25:21She's bought it.
25:23Kaya, don't listen to his crap.
25:25I'll be honest.
25:26Like, I asked Tyler if we wanted to try to make something happen.
25:29And then Tyler went home.
25:32I didn't want to see her go either, you know?
25:34Yeah.
25:35Stop!
25:36Kevin, I have love for you.
25:37And you've said so many, so many kind words to me.
25:40Here we go.
25:41A fail about.
25:42She ain't no fool.
25:43Do you reckon?
25:44I think she's falling for it.
25:45However.
25:47Yes, conjunction is clart.
25:49It's not even a but, it's a however.
25:51A little bit.
25:51Formal.
25:52I have to stand on business when I say that you are not the one for me.
25:56Well played!
25:58Clock it!
25:59Yes, not your worth.
26:00Run, Mark.
26:01Yeah, Kevin.
26:02Move on.
26:03Go ahead.
26:06Get your shit together, you know?
26:08Yeah.
26:09And be great.
26:11Can you remind me of the names of the other girls that's in the room?
26:14I bet he goes back in there and goes, yeah, what's your fucking all?
26:18Jeez.
26:19Fucking hard work, I told you.
26:21Tops.
26:21Somebody else's problem now.
26:34Tops.
26:38Tops.
26:39Tops.
26:51Tops.
26:52Tops.
26:53Cold snap.
26:54Tops.
26:55This is another cold snap, Mary.
26:56Look at him, isn't he divine?
26:58Yes.
26:59Now pull it back down again, otherwise it's going to look like…
27:01You see, he likes it with a hood.
27:03Yes.
27:03Oh, that's much better with a hood, isn't it?
27:06And he looks like…
27:19Hello?
27:19Come here.
27:20Come here.
27:21What's this?
27:21Come on.
27:24Oh.
27:24Straight upstairs.
27:25OK.
27:26Bye then.
27:27Have you ever had that ball of cheese starter?
27:31I forget what it's called, but it's just a ball of cheese.
27:35That hot cheese.
27:38I don't even know if it's hot, but it's nice.
27:41Can't remember it that much, but it was very nice.
27:43It's just a ball of cheese.
27:45And finally, there have been many comings and goings in Downing Street over the past 15 years.
27:50Telling me.
27:51And how.
27:52And how.
27:53A revolving door.
27:54But throughout it all, there's one resident who successfully kept his nose out of the dirty business of politics.
28:00The cat.
28:00The cat!
28:01Yeah, Larry!
28:03Has he died?
28:03No.
28:04Larry the cat was first brought in to clean out the rats in 2011.
28:08He's since gone on to worldwide fame.
28:11I reckon that explains why the comings and goings at Downing Street have been so much.
28:14He's been kicking the rats out.
28:16Oh, yeah.
28:16Oy, that's wicked.
28:18Thank you very much.
28:20He's served six prime ministers.
28:23I'll tell you what, if that cat could speak.
28:25Oh.
28:26Forming close friendships with some.
28:28I like how he's got his ass all up in Boris's face.
28:30I want to do that as well.
28:31Less so with others.
28:34Yeah, Larry ain't feeling you.
28:35No one wants to get stroked by Liz Truss.
28:38It was these repeated appearances.
28:40Oh, the rat flying across, look.
28:42Ew.
28:43That convinced Downing Street staff it was better to have headlines about cats than rats.
28:48They do say you're never too far from a rat in London though, don't they?
28:52Yeah, more so in Downing Street.
28:54It led them to Battersea Dogs and Cats Home, where Larry was described as a bit of a bruiser.
29:00Quite a big van for him to be delivered in.
29:02Yeah, I don't know if that's necessary.
29:03He could have gone on an Uber.
29:05In 2011, he was adopted by then Prime Minister David Cameron.
29:09Oh, so Cameron got him.
29:11Oh, yeah.
29:11He fucked off and then left the cat as well.
29:14Well, he left us.
29:15He left a sinking ship and a muggy.
29:17Early on, Larry seemed a little overwhelmed by his new surroundings.
29:23Look at that hair tag round his neck.
29:25From rags to riches.
29:27I wonder if he goes back to Battersea City like to give tugs.
29:31Yeah.
29:33Ted Tuck.
29:33I was once in your cages.
29:35Listen here, you lot.
29:36There's chance out there for you.
29:42So, I was in Wetherspoons, okay,
29:44and I was talking to this girl and I was really, you know,
29:47putting on the really good smooth talk and I was like,
29:50I'll get you a pint.
29:51Michael, Sally and their sons Jake and Harry.
29:54The pint in Wetherspoons are £1.99, okay, yeah?
29:57So, I went off and I was like, yeah, nah, I got you.
30:00And I went up, yeah, pulled it, went to pay,
30:02and then my card declined.
30:03Oh, my God.
30:04It was the most embarrassing thing.
30:06It's a £1.99 drink.
30:08And I was like, yo, I was like, yo, Nathan, Nathan, come here.
30:11I need you to go, I need you to go and pay.
30:12He goes, what, you need me to pay for it?
30:15You haven't got £2.
30:16I'm like, shut the fuck up.
30:17He's like, oh, don't worry, I've got you.
30:19Bing.
30:20It was just like the most, the worst.
30:24So, did she come home with you last night?
30:25No.
30:26How much money did you have?
30:27£1.90.
30:30On Sunday night, there were more contestants standing about
30:34ready to show off their specialist knowledge on ITV.
30:38Talking about floors.
30:40I got fresh floor in the kitchen in the extension.
30:45And I don't know what kind of floor it is,
30:47but it's the best floor ever.
30:48I think it's wood.
30:54I might do types of colour or something like that.
30:57Shades of colour?
30:58Yeah, shades of colour.
30:59OK.
31:00I think it's quite difficult, though.
31:03So, Rob Brydon would show you a colour and you would say,
31:06I know what that is?
31:07Yeah.
31:08I'd like to see that.
31:10OK, let's light up the floor.
31:14I'm not a fan of this show.
31:15Do you know what it is?
31:16I don't feel like you find it intellectually stimulating enough.
31:19However, for me, perfect level.
31:21Oh!
31:23Oh!
31:24Oh!
31:24Oh!
31:24It's finally happened!
31:26Maybe it is quite exciting when someone lights up your box.
31:30You what?
31:30Let's see what the choices are, Gemma.
31:33They are Mackenzie with sports teams,
31:36birds,
31:37and we've got anatomy.
31:39What the fuck's anatomy?
31:41What the fuck's anatomy?
31:41Oh, that's your private part.
31:42Hugh was telling his teachers about the anatomies the other day.
31:45I'm going to try and spread my wings, I think.
31:47Yeah.
31:48Ooh!
31:49That'll be birds.
31:50I like birds, but I wouldn't know them.
31:52I'd know a robin.
31:57Owl.
31:57Barn owl.
31:58Tawny owl.
31:59Tawny.
32:00That's a flamingo.
32:01I really want to see a flamingo once in my life.
32:04You've never seen a flamingo?
32:05No!
32:06Fuck it, I have bigger dreams, mate.
32:09No!
32:10Ibis.
32:10Ibis.
32:12Crane.
32:13Stork.
32:13Stork.
32:14Ooh, good shout, darling.
32:16Oh, no!
32:17I got it!
32:18Yes!
32:19A blue tit.
32:20I wonder why they call it a blue tit.
32:22It's blue, innit?
32:23It's titsy-yella.
32:25Eh.
32:27Cock!
32:29I got woken up by a cock this morning.
32:31Not the sort of cock I might like, but the cock in the garden.
32:34The cock you do do, haven't you?
32:37Woodpecker!
32:38Woodpecker!
32:38Woodpecker!
32:39Woodpecker!
32:40Hummingbird!
32:42That's the Jamaican national bird.
32:43Do you remember the hummingbird we had in the garden here?
32:45It wasn't a hummingbird, darling.
32:46It turned out to be a moth.
32:47It was a moth.
32:47Oh, them hummingbirds are beautiful.
32:49Pigeon!
32:52Cuckoo!
32:53It's a fancy pigeon.
32:54A mirror!
32:56Pass.
32:57It was a cuckoo out the bloody hell.
32:59Did you know that were a cuckoo?
33:01No.
33:01My birds.
33:02That's why.
33:05Erm...
33:05Goose!
33:06Barahawk!
33:07Sparock!
33:08It's a fucking goose!
33:09Goose!
33:10Goose!
33:10Goose!
33:11Goose!
33:12Stork!
33:13Goose!
33:14Goose!
33:15Err, herring.
33:17Is this woman blind?!
33:18It's a fucking goose!
33:19She's never eaten the park before!
33:22Turkey!
33:23Look at that gizzard.
33:25I know.
33:25I'm just looking at it, Jen.
33:26What are you saying?
33:28It's funny to see a turkey in real life
33:30other than just as a white corpse on Christmas Day.
33:33Yes.
33:34What the fuck's that?
33:36Kiwi!
33:37Kiwi!
33:37Oh, that's a kiwi!
33:38We don't see many of these around, do we?
33:41What?
33:42Birds.
33:43Like these.
33:44Well, you won't see kiwis.
33:45They need to bloody New Zealand.
33:47Aye, well, half of them.
33:49I don't know half of them.
33:50I've never seen them flying round.
33:52Well, you won't see bloody toucans
33:54and parakeets flying round Caffili.
33:58Well done, honey!
34:00Well done!
34:02You did so well.
34:03Michelle, it's a good job you had Gemma on your team,
34:06to be honest.
34:07She's not on our team.
34:08At all.
34:09That's what we're having to eat tonight, Natty.
34:12Partridge.
34:12Are we?
34:13They've been frozen, unfrozen,
34:17they've had three hours in the car,
34:19and we're eating them tonight, Mary.
34:21What's the chance of us not getting food poisoning?
34:24Well, it won't matter.
34:25It'd be good for us to be ill.
34:34In the Cotswolds...
34:36Oh, my God!
34:37The tanning shop just wished me Happy Valentine's Day.
34:40Well, I bet they did, darling,
34:41because you probably kept them going for the last five years.
34:43You know, I don't go in there that much.
34:44Andrew and his husband Alfie.
34:47Well, I went in yesterday.
34:49The last time I'd been in was 2013.
34:51I think they were steam-driven then.
34:54Well, you're positively glowing.
34:56I know.
34:57Absolutely.
34:57Honey-bronzed and very desirable.
35:01This week, it was a tense thriller set in the finance department
35:05that had us gripped on Prime Video.
35:08It's so nice for us to be able, in 2026, to sit down and watch a drama
35:14during these awful weeks of weather.
35:17Just think, a hundred years ago, there would have been nothing to watch
35:22and we would have been...
35:24Well, we'd have been huddling on the ground with livestock, Mary.
35:29Animals.
35:31Which is what I'm still doing.
35:34Hmm.
35:35Stop going for my hula hoops.
35:37No.
35:38Those are yours.
35:40No, no, no.
35:40Those are joint.
35:41That's me.
35:45Oh, yeah, this is steel.
35:47Sophie Turner, isn't this?
35:48From Game of Thrones.
35:49Ooh, Sansa.
35:52Are we in London?
35:53We're going to London, aren't we, in April?
35:55Yeah, we are.
35:58Myrtle.
35:59Oh, I'm so sorry.
36:01Is this Myrtle's first date?
36:02Were you on Game of Thrones?
36:09Are these inspectors, do you think?
36:11Look at their faces on them.
36:13They're all storming into the office
36:14because Pret-a-Manger has run out of overnight oats.
36:21I don't like that ginger one. He's scary.
36:24They all look scary, don't they?
36:26It's like a crackhead McCookle.
36:27Have they all got prosthetics on?
36:29Because they all just look a little bit funky, don't they?
36:34Oh, what's that all about?
36:39Oh, wow.
36:40Guns, yeah?
36:41What are they doing?
36:42You're not allowed guns in a workplace.
36:44Everybody's listening here right fucking now!
36:47Oh, my fucking God.
36:48This has been my worst nightmare, this.
36:50Up, you heads!
36:52Ladies and gentlemen, if you do exactly what I say,
36:54when I say it, you won't get hurt.
36:55Right, well, what do we need to do? Tell me.
36:57I think if it were me, I'd pretend to be dead already.
37:00I'd just lie on the ground.
37:02If you don't hear what I say, when I say it, you will be shot.
37:04Sometimes I struggle to listen, so what if I heard it wrong?
37:08I'd be dead.
37:09I'd just follow what everyone else is doing.
37:10It wasn't long before it became clear what the baddies were after.
37:15This.
37:16It's got the details of six trades on it.
37:18Source accounts, destination accounts, sizes.
37:20What, so he's going to force him to make trades?
37:22Yeah.
37:23I want you to load them all up into the trading system.
37:27So, no, that won't work.
37:28It won't work?
37:29Why won't it work?
37:30I don't know.
37:31Just load up the trades.
37:33Oh, don't be clever about it.
37:34Oh, please.
37:34He knows what he's on about.
37:35This is over £4 billion.
37:38Over £4 billion?!
37:40Okay.
37:40This is not a small heist.
37:43No.
37:44These are people's pensions.
37:45This is social workers, police, doctors.
37:48Let's do it.
37:48The trades.
37:49He's not bothered.
37:50Just do it.
37:51The guy stood there with a gun.
37:52You horrible man.
37:54I'd like to punch you in the face and take your stupid mask off.
37:58Okay.
38:01Um...
38:01That's all done.
38:02He's in!
38:03Okay, that should be with you in 24 to 48 hours.
38:06The trades have been sent to the custodian bank.
38:09Yeah, but they'll know that we'd never send money to those accounts before,
38:12so they're going to call and ask what's going on.
38:14Yeah, you'll be here to tell them.
38:15Yeah, I mean, somebody's going to flag this smell of a rat in this.
38:25Oh, my dear.
38:26Someone answer it, please.
38:28Luke, answer it, please.
38:32What's she doing?
38:33Um, Lockmail Capital.
38:35How can I help?
38:36Good girl.
38:37Sorry, uh, Zara?
38:38Zara.
38:39Speaking.
38:40He knows her.
38:41Um, I just got the trades you guys sent through.
38:44I've never seen these accounts before.
38:46What's she going to see?
38:47But yeah, no.
38:47If they don't go through ASAP, I'm going to be in some serious shit,
38:52so if you could please just put them through as soon as you put the phone down, please.
38:56Yeah, Luke's going to have a bullet in his temple.
38:59I'll put them through today.
39:01Oh, my deez, wow.
39:02But will she live, or will she be shot dead now by that horrid man?
39:13Oh, my deez, what is he reaching for?
39:15What are you doing?
39:15Don't be a hero.
39:17Hey.
39:19Hey.
39:20Hey.
39:21Shh.
39:21Don't call me.
39:22Yeah.
39:23We can signal.
39:25Oh, my God.
39:26I'd ignore him, mate.
39:28I won't.
39:28I'd say, shut up.
39:29I'd say, shut up.
39:30Fuck off, fucking superman.
39:40Who will see him?
39:41Who's going to see you?
39:48You call...
39:50Fingers.
39:519-9-9.
39:52Oh, yeah.
39:53That's clever.
39:54Telephone.
39:5410-10-10.
39:55No, fucking 9-9-9, you silly bastard.
39:58Oh, I thought it was...
40:02I don't want him to be shot dead.
40:05He's quite good-looking.
40:10Oh, my God.
40:11Oh, my God.
40:12Oh, Jesus Christ.
40:15Nobody move!
40:18Who's going to pay for this mac?
40:21Oh!
40:22Get back to the window.
40:24And an ambulance.
40:26Ambulance.
40:28Money's been transferred.
40:30Block and leave now.
40:31Money's in.
40:32Oh, let's go.
40:36Let's go.
40:37They've got away with it.
40:39The cart, though.
40:40No.
40:41Please don't kill anybody.
40:46I hate they got out.
40:48Just what I said.
40:49They want more on our phones to leave.
40:51The man and the woman spoke to the head car.
40:53Oh, the relief.
40:55Someone must have told them.
40:56So you think it's one of us?
40:57Makes sense, right?
40:58I mean, how else could they do it?
41:00They did know it all though, didn't they?
41:01Yeah, to be fair, yeah, they did.
41:02An inside job, but who is it?
41:04You need to figure out who the inside man was.
41:06Yeah, whoever turns up tomorrow in a Ferrari.
41:08Whoever turns up in a Ferrari tomorrow.
41:15LAUGHTER
41:16GASP
41:16Oh!
41:18No, surely not.
41:23Sarah!
41:25God, I've heard about nicking a pencil or a rubber from work, but fucking hell, not four billion.
41:30No.
41:30That is crazy.
41:31They've just got away with four billion pounds.
41:34I know.
41:34They'll be able to go for a five, guys.
41:36Well, they won't get any bloody change.
41:41LAUGHTER
41:41You know...
41:42Hey, Jenny.
41:43You know, with the weather, I mean, have you seen this bronchi app?
41:46Lee, please don't put that up in here.
41:47I'm not gonna...
41:48Why?
41:48It's unlucky.
41:49It's unlucky, don't you?
41:50It changes colour.
41:52What, when it's raining?
41:53Yeah.
41:53Best friends Jenny and Lee.
41:56Oh, hang on a minute.
41:58Oh, hang on a minute.
42:01What are you doing?
42:03I'm getting wet.
42:03You just said, don't put it up in the house.
42:05Get off.
42:06Oh!
42:07Where is it going?
42:09Look!
42:10Look at the colour.
42:11Hang on.
42:12How can I look at the colour?
42:13I'm getting pissing wet through.
42:15LAUGHTER
42:17On Friday, ITV had something for the weekend for us.
42:22Ooh.
42:23Bloody hell.
42:25That's monsoon-like, innit?
42:26I've been running around like an hobbit this morning.
42:28I've been to go and pick Ben's birthday cake up that I've had made,
42:32and then I've gone to get my eyelashes done.
42:34It's all go.
42:35When are they finishing them off?
42:36LAUGHTER
42:41Hello.
42:42Oh, yeah.
42:42Yes, it is.
42:44Nice.
42:44Love is in the air.
42:46Hey, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow.
42:48I don't know what's got into Nat lately.
42:49Bottle of perfume for Valentine's Day.
42:52Wants to take me out for a meal.
42:54Said I deserve a treat.
42:56What's he after?
42:57Baby number two.
42:58You wish.
42:59If you're planning a Valentine's night in tomorrow...
43:02Then you're sensible.
43:03LAUGHTER
43:04Not being ripped off by a restaurant.
43:06Yeah, sat in a room full of balloons and roses.
43:08And John Turow's back to help you cook a restaurant-quality meal at home.
43:12John Turow.
43:13I'm glad to see he's washed up on this morning, Nutty.
43:15Oh, he looks so pleased to be there, John T.
43:18Oh, it's got to be steak.
43:20I can just smell it.
43:21Oh, it's steak.
43:22Oh, yeah.
43:23Oh, yeah.
43:23Oh, yeah.
43:24So, I'm just going to do this and then we'll talk about the steak
43:26and what we've done with it and how it works.
43:27So, a nice hot pan.
43:29Yep.
43:29Always a hot pan.
43:30What we've got here is we've got a thick-cut sirloin
43:32which is now available in supermarkets.
43:34Yes.
43:34Oh, he's got a second steak here for dessert.
43:36LAUGHTER
43:37For me, this is enough for two, actually three,
43:39maybe even four people.
43:41Four people?!
43:42You're having a laugh!
43:43John has no right to be in a kitchen
43:45if he's going to be talking filthy like that.
43:47Like, that's going to do four people.
43:49So, what we want to do is just take that steak
43:51and just cut into that there and you cut all the way in.
43:54I do that.
43:55I do that.
43:55That is news to me.
43:57This is what it was worth getting up for this morning.
43:59And what that does is that the fat that's there
44:01and that little bit of connective tissue shrinks
44:03but it means the meat doesn't shrink.
44:05Oh, you wouldn't want your meat shrinking.
44:07Oh, no.
44:09Oil the meat, never the pan.
44:11God, I'd have to take tolstatin when I've eaten that.
44:14LAUGHTER
44:14You want enough oil just for it to cook
44:17but you don't want too much oil
44:19that it's going to sort of braise in that.
44:21Yeah, oh, no.
44:22I like my meat oiled.
44:24LAUGHTER
44:28Now, I sometimes put pepper on it.
44:30Pepper burns.
44:31Some people say the pepper burns.
44:33Look at you, Gordon Ramsay.
44:36I'm not just a pretty face.
44:37So, you know what?
44:38I'm going to put a little pepper on it.
44:39Yeah, bring it on.
44:40And here we go, guys.
44:41Do your best at cagging me down.
44:43Chuck the pepper on.
44:44John's up more animated these days, isn't he?
44:48Yeah.
44:48I think Greg was holding him back.
44:50Turn it over and look at the colour of that already.
44:52Oh, my goodness.
44:53Oh, that.
44:54Look at that.
44:55Look, it burns.
44:56Look, we've got to make Valentine's Day as easy as possible.
44:59Yeah, you want an easy life.
45:00You know what?
45:00That's so true.
45:01Yeah.
45:01We've got lovin' to do here, do you know what I mean?
45:03Yeah.
45:04It's Valentine's Day.
45:05Into the oven we go.
45:06Going to give that to you.
45:06Too much lovin' after that.
45:08All right, damn it.
45:08You cook me a steak like that, you'll have all the lovin' you want.
45:11Of course.
45:12I like lovin' before the steak.
45:13Oh, he likes to shak before a meal.
45:15I must admit, I don't mean shak.
45:18Oh, I don't want to know.
45:18Oh, la la la.
45:20Fuckin' hell.
45:20I don't want to know what you're going to do.
45:22No, as I just said, once I've eaten, all I want to do is sit and chill.
45:25We're going to add to that little bit of butter.
45:27Smells incredible.
45:28A little bit of rosemary.
45:32I'm just going to pick that steak up and let it go underneath there.
45:35Oh, I like that.
45:37Yes.
45:38What are you doing there, John?
45:39Medium rare sort of thing?
45:40Medium rare, yeah.
45:41And it'll continue to cook.
45:42Yeah, it looks a bit crispy.
45:44Gosh.
45:45I think that steak...
45:47That steak is going to be like Land of Leather, isn't it, Mary?
45:49Yes.
45:50We've got chips.
45:51We've got dessert.
45:53Oh, it's good.
45:53In you go.
45:55Bit overdone for me, that.
45:57Yeah, I reckon that's cooked a buggery.
45:59Well overdone.
45:59I didn't realise I didn't know how to cook a steak.
46:02You know, put it in a frying pan with some butter.
46:04Flip it over.
46:05Flip it over.
46:06Flip it over.
46:07Your chips, right, just toss a load of cheese and like chillies in them and then just slap
46:11them in the oven.
46:12You know.
46:13Every day is a school day.
46:15Thanks, John.
46:16That is why you're not the host of Astrid.
46:18And neither is he.
46:20And neither is he.
46:20Anymore.
46:21.
46:22.
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