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00:00Ta-da!
00:03Are you ready for Puddy's Day?
00:05Yeah!
00:06Sh! Kitchi!
00:11Where's yours?
00:12You look like a leprechaun drag queen!
00:14Where's yours?
00:16Man, I'm ready!
00:17Where is it?
00:18Yeah, I'm ready!
00:20Oh, you said you was getting dressed up!
00:24I am!
00:26I didn't know you'd go that far!
00:30The beautiful world
00:34Have you ever done it like that?
00:36Well, I ain't telling you what they had!
00:40Oh, Barcelona!
00:43No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:46A what?
00:47Fault fetish!
00:48I had no idea that was a thing!
00:50Remove my britches!
00:51Expose your loins!
00:52I like that!
00:56Oh, Ronnie!
00:57This is weird!
00:58He's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
01:00This is why I don't eat!
01:01His heart is dicing with the devil!
01:03Oh, no!
01:04He suffers for his heart, doesn't he?
01:06Clearly!
01:06A Bentley Continental!
01:08I think I'd rather call it a Dane, I'd say, wouldn't you?
01:11Who's been arrested now, and for what?
01:15In the week Jessie Buckley became the first Irish woman ever to win Best Actress at the Oscars, we enjoyed
01:23lots of great telly.
01:25There was a must-see BAFTA winner on Netflix!
01:28I've seen quite a few youngsters for this job.
01:31Aye!
01:31And I don't think I'm breaking any confidentiality when I tell you that that is the best cup of tea
01:37yet.
01:38Great!
01:39It means something when someone you respect tells you that you make good tea.
01:43Dad's never said it to us, has he?
01:44Has he ever said it to you?
01:45Once or twice, yeah.
01:46When?
01:47No, he hasn't.
01:49I've written it down in my diary.
01:51What did he say?
01:52Once or twice?
01:53Yeah.
01:53Well, that's more than the number of times you made me a tea.
01:56Mrs. Trump had her own show on Prime Video.
02:00If we go out, I think people will already know where we would go out, so...
02:04I do like her smokey eye, don't you think?
02:09I might try and read that, look.
02:11He'll see me.
02:15I might try it out, you know, on a night owl or two.
02:18And then when people ask me, oh, that looks nice.
02:21Where did you get inspiration from, Melania?
02:23First lady.
02:25And there was some straight talking down under on E4.
02:29Um, so one thing I asked the experts for but didn't get is Bradley Cooper.
02:35Clearly doesn't fit her profile, does it?
02:38I mean, when I married you, Steve, I thought you looked like Brian Ferry,
02:42but now you look like Danny DeVito, so people change, don't they?
02:48Sorry?
02:50They change.
02:52Who do I look like now?
02:54Oh, I...
02:54Danny DeVito.
02:56I married Brian Ferry.
02:58What happened?
03:06In Wiltshire...
03:08On the mainland, we drink out of cups and saucers, not jugs, Mary.
03:12Yes, there's no mugs or cups in the kitchen.
03:14Are you...
03:14You're obviously relapsing into your...
03:17Giles!
03:17...Northern Irish habits.
03:18I have to drink out of this because you have taken all the cups and mugs...
03:22Is that...
03:22Is that...
03:22...into the garden.
03:23Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:26So I'm just going to have to keep drinking out of jugs until all the jugs have gone into
03:31the garden as well.
03:32And what will I be left with?
03:34Saucepans.
03:35I'll be drinking out of saucepans next.
03:36Oh, no, Mary.
03:38We don't want you relapsing into barbarism.
03:41What do you mean, relapsing into barbarism?
03:45What are you talking about?
03:46Well, you've come such a long way since you've moved to the mainland.
03:51On Saturday night, Graham Norton had us all in a spin again on ITV.
03:56My favourite type of wheel is my car steering wheel with that lovely diamond-y cover on.
04:02Horrible, that.
04:05The worst thing I've ever seen.
04:06Are you doing your newspaper quizzes every day to keep your brain in gear?
04:09I do the easy crossword and all the little puzzles.
04:12Oh, well done, you.
04:13Except the cryptic.
04:14I can't do the cryptic because I simply don't know what they're talking about.
04:20Wheel of fortune!
04:23Stop it.
04:24There's no need for that.
04:25Let's start winning with three quick-fire puzzles.
04:28You got your buzzers there?
04:30All right.
04:30Right, okay, I'm ready.
04:31I'm ready.
04:32The clue for all three of these is curious collectives.
04:36Curious collectives.
04:38I'm lost with the clue.
04:39This one is worth £500.
04:42Er, ah.
04:43Yes.
04:45Of.
04:45A something of.
04:50Prickle of.
04:51A prickle of what?
04:52A prickle of.
04:53A prickle of.
04:54A prickle of.
04:55A prickle of summer.
04:55Juleps.
04:57A prickle of fuck-ups.
04:59No.
05:00Hedgehogs.
05:01No.
05:02Porcupines!
05:04Porcupines!
05:04And it's Daniel.
05:05A prickle of porcupines.
05:08He's only got a...
05:10I got that.
05:11You did?
05:11I got that before all of them.
05:13Well done.
05:16Another curious collective.
05:19A something of something.
05:20Ah.
05:22Where's ah?
05:23Where are you getting ah from?
05:24This is the first letter.
05:24I don't think everything starts with ah.
05:26Is it?
05:26True.
05:29Something goes.
05:31Flamingos.
05:32Flamingos.
05:34Flamingos.
05:35Er.
05:36A boy's own.
05:38Er.
05:38This is well hard.
05:40A flamboyant.
05:41Of.
05:42Flamingos.
05:44Daniel.
05:44A flamboyance of flamingos.
05:48A flamboyant.
05:49The fuck?
05:50The fuck?
05:52It's all X, innit?
05:53Celebrity second jobs.
05:57Kylie Minogue.
05:58No.
05:58No.
06:01Lighthouse keeper.
06:02Billy Piper.
06:04But who's this?
06:04No, you can see it.
06:05Erm.
06:07Who could be a lighthouse keeper?
06:09Erm.
06:10Dua Lipa.
06:11Lighthouse keeper.
06:12Daniel.
06:13And it's Daniel again.
06:14Daniel, can you just give the others a chance?
06:16Please.
06:17Dua Lipa.
06:18Lighthouse keeper.
06:19Wow.
06:20Oh, my God.
06:21No-one's ever going to get that.
06:23I got it.
06:24I got it.
06:24Did you see me get that, then?
06:26I don't think Dua Lipa has a lighthouse.
06:28She must be.
06:29That must be what she does in her spare time.
06:31Second job, lighthouse.
06:32Surely not.
06:33This is a very special skill you have, Daniel.
06:35It is.
06:35This guy must be an expert in this, whatever he is.
06:38Random game that no-one can figure out.
06:40Yeah.
06:40You've got to level the playing field.
06:42Take Daniel's glasses off him or something.
06:45Oh, my God.
06:45Let's go for our third and final toss-up.
06:48Third and finals.
06:48Third and finals.
06:49Third and finals.
06:50Who's going to solve it?
06:52Celebrity second jobs.
06:53Celine Dion.
06:54Celine Dion.
06:56Why do you keep following me?
06:57Everything can't say it.
06:58You're like a parrot, you.
07:03What's her name?
07:03Traffic Warden.
07:05Something.
07:06Doard and Traffic Warden.
07:07Traffic Warden.
07:08Traffic Warden.
07:09What's the name of?
07:11What's the name of?
07:12Gordon.
07:13Something.
07:13Gordon.
07:14Who Gordon?
07:15Which Gordon?
07:17James Corden.
07:19James Corden.
07:20James Corden.
07:21James Corden.
07:21traffic warden.
07:22Do you mind not shouting?
07:23Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
07:26Stupid girl
07:28And it's Nicole
07:29Oh look, Nicole, yes
07:31James Horden, Traffic Warden
07:33Who?
07:34No
07:35Oh my god
07:37Now you know who's going to come in and nick it
07:40Daniel
07:40James Corden, Traffic Warden
07:43Yes
07:45Oh
07:45Oh, they should have let her have it, Mary
07:48No, she got it wrong
07:49Oh, you was nearly there, Nicole
07:50Well, at least the buzzer's working
07:53Yeah
07:57In Caffilly
07:58Ah, so do you fancy your idea of going to Paris for your birthday or no?
08:03Well, I don't mind France
08:05Paris is in France
08:06I thought it was two different places
08:08Dave and his wife, Shirley
08:11Well, Paris is the capital of France
08:14Oh, I didn't know that
08:15How long have you been under this?
08:17Well, I always thought, you know, the
08:20What's that?
08:21Leaning Tower of Peace
08:24That's in Paris, isn't it?
08:27That's in Italy and Rome
08:28Is it?
08:29Yeah
08:30Oh, no, I mean the other
08:32Geographically
08:33You or me?
08:34I mean the other building
08:36Not the Eiffel
08:37Oh, the Eiffel Tower
08:39The Blackpool Tower
08:39No, the Eiffel Tower
08:41What is it?
08:42The Eiffel Tower
08:43The Eiffel Tower
08:44Yeah
08:45It's the Eiffel Tower
08:46It's the Eiffel Tower
08:47Oh, right
08:47God, I don't know where the hell I am
09:18On Wednesday night
09:20Wearing a nylon bikini
09:21To the wedding
09:22No, no, no, that's not correct
09:23Well, exactly
09:24Neither did my mother serve trifles and volumonts
09:27But if my memory serves me correctly
09:29Well, it doesn't
09:34I asked Nat the other day
09:35When we're going to get married
09:36And he said we're not
09:37So I says, well
09:38What about inheritance tax?
09:40And he says, well
09:41There's ways and means
09:42What a way to woo a guy
09:44Let's talk about when one of us dies
09:47Woo!
09:48Let's get married
09:49I'm clutching at straws here
09:50You are
09:54Mel and Luke, darling
09:55I know
09:56These two have got off on the wrong foot so far
10:06This looks fun, doesn't it?
10:07They don't seem happy, do they?
10:13That frigging violin's getting on my neck
10:16It's just awkward and frosty, man
10:18Why are they not talking to each other?
10:20I'm feeling quite flat
10:21Because obviously the situation with Mel and I isn't great
10:25We can see that, really
10:27You don't have to tell us
10:27Bloody hell
10:28It definitely feels like a little bit uncomfortable
10:31He makes me look excitable
10:34Stop it
10:36Feels like pretty awkward, to be honest
10:38Yeah, welcome to marriage
10:39That's a nice little area
10:40Yeah
10:42And it's got a coffee machine, which is great
10:46Well, you can't have a relationship without a coffee machine
10:49Can you?
10:50No
10:51Very nice
10:52Yeah
10:53And I might breathe
10:55Yeah, let's just point out everything around the room
10:57Yeah, and it's got a window
10:59Oh my God
10:59It's got a door
11:00It's got a bed
11:01It's got a bed, yeah
11:02The photo ranking task returns in Revelations week
11:05Uh-oh
11:05God, this is the worst one, isn't it?
11:09Brutal
11:09You're an absolute dick if you don't put your wife first
11:12Exactly
11:12I mean, couldn't be clearer
11:14I feel like this is a really hard challenge to do
11:17Like, they're all, all the girls are pretty
11:19Yeah, yeah
11:20God, please, just, please, just get it right
11:23That's the shag pile there
11:25And that's the avoid just a picture of it
11:28And then pop you right here
11:32Ah, he's put her fair
11:34Number one
11:35Mel number one
11:36Nailed it
11:38This is a truthful experiment
11:39This is a truthful task
11:40Pride myself in being honest throughout this whole experiment
11:43Oh, she's going to be brutally honest
11:45Summit tells me she ain't going to put him first
11:48We've got Scott here
11:52And then Grayson here
11:53Tell you what, they've all got turkey teeth, haven't they?
11:56Oh, look at you
11:59And then you
12:02Got you here
12:06Where is she going to put him now, Tom?
12:08I'm a little bit nervous, Simon
12:10Physically, like, you do look like some sort of, like, great god
12:12Oh, no, I feel about coming on
12:15But
12:15So, I've put you just here next to you
12:17Close second, though
12:19Oh, she's second
12:21Oh, that's not bad
12:22Considering they're not getting on
12:24That's terrible
12:25It's not bad
12:27Mum, if a man did that to me
12:29You would be fuming
12:31That just knocks me down even further, to be honest
12:33Oh, Luke
12:35Have I done anything to make you feel underconfident?
12:40Well, it's a bit late now, Mary
12:41Oh
12:42Er, you might have asked that question 60 years ago
12:50Oh, no, it's another task
12:52We've crafted a series of prompts for you to answer
12:55Oh, God
12:58The most shocking thing I did after a breakup was get in the car with my friends and drive past
13:04his house multiple times during the night time to make sure he was home
13:08What the hell?
13:09Oh, I've been there, done that
13:11That's normal, that's not weird
13:12I would probably do that as well
13:14Yeah, I think that's okay
13:15But in this sense, I'm going to say, oh, dear me
13:19And if his car was there, it meant that he was home
13:23So, night made
13:26Oh, my God
13:28The red flags are waving wildly at him
13:41Right
13:45What do you even say to that?
13:47What do you say to that?
13:48What the hell?
13:49Luke has decided that he might need some space
13:53I'm not surprised
13:56Run, Luke
13:57Luke, run
13:58You see, me and Paige
13:59We were not like this at the beginning, but we're similar
14:02You know, Paige moved up north to go to uni
14:05Early doors, you know, within three months of us being together
14:08Didn't like it and then went back down south
14:11The only problem was that while the absence makes the heart grow fonder
14:14It cost me a fucking fortune in diesel to go and see it
14:17But you won't hear your moaning about it
14:19No, never mention it
14:21Never see that money again
14:24But it's worth it
14:26I've got my children now, haven't I?
14:28And your wife
14:29And the wife, obviously
14:38In Blackpool
14:39Paige and Eva went out to dancing this morning
14:41Yeah
14:42And I was having a chat with Jimmy
14:44Because it's Mother's Day, isn't it, tomorrow?
14:45Oh, yes, it is
14:46Have you got her a card for the kids?
14:48No
14:48I thought you were picking me one up
14:50No, I've picked your card for our mum
14:52Pete and his little sister Sophie
14:55Fucking hell
14:56You leave me in the shit, you, sometimes
15:00Listen, in case you haven't noticed, I don't have a wife and kids
15:04It's not my remit
15:06No, but you have a brother who's shite with stuff like this
15:10But I've sorted out for our mum and nan
15:12Yeah, but also sorted out for my children's mum
15:17This week, we were game for a laugh again on Prime Video
15:21Ellie, last one laughing
15:22New series, new comedians
15:27The time I laugh most heartily is at
15:30Hello and welcome to a brand new series of
15:33Come on, what do I laugh most heartily at?
15:36My own jokes
15:37Oh, yes, your own jokes
15:38Or if someone else repeats your own joke and then you interrupt them
15:43Yes, you do
15:44For the next six hours, ten comedians will be locked in here
15:48Trying to make each other laugh whilst trying not to laugh themselves
15:51I know for a fact I'd be hopeless at something like this
15:54Yeah
15:54I'd, you know
15:55I'd be first out
15:56Actually, we might be alright at this game
15:59Because we would just have such bad verbal diarrhoea
16:02That no one could say anything to us
16:04That's true
16:05Just don't let anyone else speak
16:06Just talk at them
16:07Constant drivel
16:08Barrage
16:09We're going to love this, Roisin
16:11The defending champion is going back in
16:13It's Bob Mortimer
16:14Oh, you idiot
16:15You's your favourite, love
16:17Nobody stands a chance for Bob Mortimer
16:20Oh, no!
16:21Oh, no!
16:23Oh, no!
16:23Oh, no!
16:24Oh, no!
16:24Look at you
16:25Look at you
16:25Rubbish
16:25Oh, God, I got no chance
16:27Bob, as our reigning champion, do you have any tips for your fellow players?
16:31Yeah, get a safety face
16:32Safety face?
16:34A safety face
16:35Safety face!
16:36Safety face!
16:36Safety face
16:37What's your session?
16:37I'm going to go on under that
16:40Oh, no!
16:40Oh, no!
16:53Right, we're in
16:54Nobody laugh
16:56Oh, no, no, no, look, look
16:57See, I would be out already
16:59You're out!
17:01Can I join you, Rob?
17:02May I?
17:03Oh, yes, say no
17:05I'd go like that
17:06No
17:09Get away
17:09Yes, you may
17:11You're not sure, are you?
17:12Well, it's just because you were a dangerous bloke, do you know what I mean?
17:16I'd say go sit with somebody else
17:18Fuck off
17:18Fuck off, Bob
17:19I once woke up and there was a shit on me windowsill
17:23Oh, see, toilet humour just makes me laugh
17:31Yeah
17:31That'd be me gone
17:32Proper
17:33Like a human shirt?
17:34Yeah, well, I think it'd come from me
17:38What do you say to that?
17:44Oh, Romesh is in trouble
17:46Is he going to get Romesh now?
17:49Oh, oh, he got himself
17:52Well, that was horrible, Bob, thank you
17:56There have been nearly gone
17:57Bob have had to move away, mate
17:59Yeah
17:59Because I think Bob was on the verge of going a bit then
18:02What's your favourite bank that you don't have an account with?
18:05Santander
18:06Because of the bikes?
18:08Because of Ant and Dec
18:08Oh, look, he's going for Bob
18:10Don't get caught up in Bob Mortimer
18:14Have you met them much?
18:15I've lifted up Ant and Dec
18:17He's a stupid slut, isn't he?
18:19Really?
18:20Yeah, I remember
18:20When they were going through their fellow years
18:22No, physically
18:23Oh, OK
18:23Lifted them
18:27He's there talking about lifting little people
18:31Can I lift you?
18:32You can give it a go
18:33I mean, that would be surreal, isn't it?
18:36See if someone just lifted up Bob Mortimer
18:41Oh, it did
18:50Alan, he's going, he's going
18:52Was Alan laughing?
18:54Smoking, he was smiling
18:55Jim
18:56OK, that was definitely a laugh
18:58Oh, what's that mean?
19:00Someone laughed
19:00Who laughed?
19:02Who was it?
19:03Is that Alan?
19:03Were it Bob?
19:04Did Bob laugh when Sam picked him up?
19:06Let's have a look at the replay
19:07Let's have a look
19:09Who is it?
19:10You can give it a go
19:12Whoa, Sam!
19:14Oh, it's him
19:14Oh, it's Bob!
19:16Oh!
19:19He's got him!
19:20He's got him
19:21Do you remember that time
19:22When we was in Egypt on that cruise?
19:24I can't because I can't even look at you now
19:26When you're talking about it
19:27I just didn't look at you that night
19:30It was daytime, wasn't it?
19:32Daytime
19:32Yeah, and we had to get on
19:33We was getting on that felucca
19:35Yeah
19:35In Egypt
19:36And this woman got on with the sunglasses
19:38And her headscarf
19:39And she like slid
19:42And the wig fell off
19:44And landed in the Nile
19:46Floated down the Nile
19:47And I knew
19:48I just turned away
19:50Because I thought
19:50I can't
19:51I can't look at you
19:53I just can't hold it
19:54You laugh at people's downfalls
19:57I did hear
19:58There's other friggin' wigs laying down the river
20:04In North London
20:05Amira, I have to show you this
20:07Oh, is that your head outfit?
20:09But I'm not feeling it
20:10So I need to get your opinion on it
20:12Let's see, let's see
20:13Sisters Amira and Armani
20:15What the hell is that?
20:18I can't
20:21Oh my God
20:22It looks like you walked into a rainforest
20:23And they bedazzled you
20:26I don't even know what to make of it
20:28It's not it
20:28It's actually not it
20:29It's not it
20:30It looks cheap as well, Armani
20:31How much was it?
20:33Like a pound?
20:35How much was it?
20:37This was
20:37I think
20:38I spent £80 on it
20:39£80?
20:41It comes
20:41Because it comes with a dress
20:42To go underneath
20:44And it comes with a headscarf as well
20:46So it's a three-piece set
20:47Oh wow
20:48The whole shebang, eh?
20:50This week
20:50It was a true story
20:52Turned into a movie
20:53That had us gripped on Netflix
20:55I can't wait for this
20:56I swear
20:57I know you do
20:58No
20:58You're always
20:59The film, I swear
21:00You see, I've seen documentaries
21:02With John Davidson in
21:03We like him, don't we?
21:05He's a very interesting man
21:06It must be quite difficult
21:07Living with
21:09Tourette
21:10Yeah
21:15Edinburgh, we've been there, Julie
21:16I was going to say a bit
21:17That's Scotland
21:18Yeah
21:18He's got us, John
21:19I can't do it, Dolly
21:20Can we not just pick it up another time
21:22We could deliver it to my house
21:23John, it's an MBE
21:25Not a pizza
21:26Oh my God, the MBE
21:27Always getting an award
21:29Always be getting off
21:30The Queen or somebody like that
21:32John
21:32I'll embarrass myself, Dolly
21:34I'll see something I regret
21:34He's trying to leave
21:36He doesn't trust himself
21:37To not say anything
21:38Or be embarrassed
21:44Oh, it's the Queen
21:45Oh, no
21:49Oh, look
21:50You can see the tics come in
21:51I mean, that would be
21:52Stressful and daunting
21:53For anyone walking in there
21:54Let alone if you've got to rest
21:56Exactly
21:59Fuck the Queen
22:01Oh
22:03Oh
22:06Oh
22:06Oh
22:06Oh
22:06Oh
22:07Bless him
22:08Oh, I didn't mean it
22:09He didn't mean it
22:09He can't help it
22:14No
22:14No, that is one way to make an entrance, isn't it?
22:17Am I allowed to laugh at this, Simon?
22:19Or is that disrespectful?
22:22There are times it is genuinely funny
22:24Okay
22:24You can tell there's other times
22:26Where it's really quite distressing
22:27So we try and navigate
22:29So we try and navigate
22:29But, yeah, sometimes it's genuinely funny
22:34Hey!
22:35Oh, have we gone back in time now?
22:37Well, it must be when he's younger, isn't he?
22:38Growing up
22:39Yeah
22:39Remind me to get some oxy cubes as well, John
22:41He's out for a stew
22:42A stew!
22:43Stop it!
22:44How's she telling him to stop it?
22:46As well, like, that's what I'm saying
22:47Back then, it's like
22:48It was a lack of understanding
22:49It was a very, very strong lack of understanding
22:52Johnny D!
22:54Jesus!
22:55How you doing, pal?
22:56I thought I heard you then
22:56Oh, here's his mate, Murray
22:58Oh, look at him
22:59They're pleased to see each other
23:00Fancy a wee drink or something, John?
23:02Have a wee catch-up?
23:02No, he can't drink, Murray
23:04He's on medication
23:05Yeah, we can go for a coke or something
23:07We could maybe just go for a walk or something
23:09A wank?
23:09Yeah, that'd be good
23:11No, we aren't going for one of them, John
23:14We might have seen each other for a while
23:15It's a good way to catch-up
23:18See, when we get in there, John
23:20Can you just relax and don't do anything weird, please?
23:22I won't
23:22Oh, the boys are on the town
23:24How's this going to go?
23:25First night out?
23:26Oh, it goes one way or another, doesn't it?
23:30Yeah, yeah
23:30I love it, man
23:31I can do that bass in my chest
23:33Come on, it's good
23:34I'll go get a drink, you get a seat
23:36No worries
23:36This is perfect place for him, though, isn't it?
23:38Because it's quite loud
23:39I'm hairy, yeah
23:44Oh, John's vines in, though
23:45Can I buy you a drink?
23:47Ah!
23:48Can I buy you a drink?
23:49Yeah!
23:50He's a smooth operator
23:51Oh, my son
23:52Tell you what, he's not backwards and coming forwards, is he?
23:55It's right, isn't it?
23:55Yeah
23:59Oh, she's feeling him
24:01Someone's getting the eye?
24:02Giving the eye, yes
24:07Oh, dear
24:08That was a tick
24:09That was a tick, right?
24:12Oh!
24:13Oh, no
24:13Oh, God
24:14Fisticuffs now
24:19Oh, that wasn't John's fault
24:21That must be difficult
24:22Oh, he can't control it
24:23That kid doesn't know it, Lee, does he?
24:25No
24:25He doesn't know he thinks he's picked a fight
24:27Yeah
24:28A bit later
24:29Murray's mum had lined up an interview for John
24:32Tommy at the community centre's looking for an assistant
24:35They're interviewing next week
24:36He needs somebody to believe in him
24:38She believes in him, don't she?
24:40For a job as a caretaker
24:41How are you, John?
24:42All right
24:42Nice to meet you
24:43How are you?
24:43How are you doing?
24:44OK
24:44Good
24:44I don't, he's told me a lot about you
24:46Good
24:46Right
24:47Oh, dear
24:48Oh, dear
24:49John
24:50Right in his face as well
24:51Hi, Aiden, did you get that note about the blue roll?
24:54Yeah, no worries
24:55Yeah, anyway
24:57He's just not taking notice of what he's doing
24:59So the caretaker knows he's got
25:00Yeah, he knows he's got to write
25:02But he's not making it an issue
25:04No
25:04Is he?
25:06I'll give you a rundown of the place
25:07Give me a cork in my hand
25:08Of all the things they say
25:12What the hell?
25:14I'd be like, what?
25:15Pardon?
25:16I mean, we all think it
25:17But we don't say it
25:19So, now we get
25:21To do the most important part
25:22Of the interview, John
25:23Bum sex
25:26Oh, man
25:27The thing is
25:28You don't know whether
25:29It's funny
25:29But you feel bad for laughing
25:31Because you know he doesn't mean it
25:33But I'm not laughing at you
25:36And that is
25:37Can you make
25:39A decent cup of tea?
25:40He's a good guy
25:41He's just
25:43Taking no
25:44Offence from it at all
25:45There you go, Tommy
25:48Oh, no
25:50Did he just spit in his brew?
25:53I'm really sorry
25:54I'll take that one
25:55Aye
25:55Aye, that's a good idea
25:56Yeah
25:57Good idea, yeah
25:58Yeah
25:58I don't think this interview was going very well, do you?
26:01Oh, is it really?
26:02Bless him
26:02Are you okay with the Texan this week?
26:07Wait, Tex, what's the matter?
26:09Aww
26:14Aww
26:14Can't stop me that
26:16Aww
26:19Oh, no, don't
26:21I'm going to cry
26:21I literally love this man
26:24See, I spend half my life
26:26Training people
26:27To react like Tommy
26:28Yes
26:29Because half the people don't
26:31They can't
26:32They don't know what to do
26:33Tommy's just got it
26:43In Surrey
26:44I've succumbed, Simon
26:47To a water bottle
26:49Simon
26:50And his sister Jane
26:51How many of those do you get through a day?
26:54Well, I'm just aiming for one at the moment
26:56Okay
26:57So that would be a litre of water
26:59Oh, it's definitely good
27:01Isn't it?
27:01I always say two a day, don't I?
27:03What, two litres a day?
27:04Something like that
27:06Okay, I'm going to see how
27:07What effect it has on my
27:08Having to stop and do a wee all the time
27:10Yeah, yeah, yeah
27:11But
27:12I feel it's a positive thing
27:21Right, I'm right in with the in crowd, Simon
27:23It's like sitting next to an athlete
27:25I love the Olympic Games
27:28On Friday
27:29There were more things to think about over breakfast on the BBC
27:40That's what it actually sounds like
27:42Insane
27:42That's what it sounds like
27:43Around half of us now choose restaurants based on social media recommendations
27:48All the time
27:49Yeah, how else are we choosing restaurants?
27:52If I haven't seen it on TikTok
27:53I'm not going
27:54So-called content creators might be replacing traditional food critics
27:59I've never ever paid attention to traditional food critics
28:03So I'm all for the influencers
28:05Because I'm all over social medias
28:07If you're lucky enough to go out for a restaurant meal these days
28:10Chances are you've seen diners sort of snapping pics of their dishes before they tuck in
28:14I can be guilty of that
28:15Oh!
28:15If I see a big
28:17If I've ordered a big whopping burger and it comes out
28:20I'm taking a picture of it so I can send it to everyone and say look at this beast I've
28:24just took on
28:25Hands up
28:26Hands up I am guilty of this
28:27I'm always looking at food blogs
28:30I can't help it
28:31I like to look at the food I like to look at them eating it I like I like I
28:36like it I like food
28:37Well research suggests almost half of us now pick where we dine out based on posts we've seen on Instagram,
28:44TikTok, YouTube
28:45Oh this doesn't affect me Nutty
28:46Nor me
28:47So this must be young people
28:49And a whopping 85% of hospitality venues say they've got more people coming through the doors thanks to so
28:57-called content creators
28:58Well that's surely a good thing
29:00If it gets more footfall and more covers Mary look covers then I think it's good for them
29:08Imagine if someone in the restaurant you were at started setting up all of this equipment
29:16Fucking ring light? Surely not
29:18My friends do that whenever we go out they get out the light and everything I'm like guys I just
29:21want to eat
29:22Seriously?
29:23Yeah
29:24I'm going to go next level when I go to next restaurant I'm going to stand on the table and
29:29like
29:30It's the dining debate dividing catering bosses
29:33In the red corner
29:36Famously fiery celeb chef Gordon Ramsay
29:38They're very powerful and they don't take six weeks to fill a restaurant
29:43Gordon did an influencer evening I think in his new restaurant in the sky
29:48But that's what it should be
29:49Get the influencers out of the way early doors so then they're not ruining our experiences
29:53But not everyone agrees
29:56Legendary restaurateur and co-founder of the Ivy Jeremy King
30:00Oh look at him
30:01Oh isn't he splendid now
30:05You've been to the Ivy haven't you?
30:06I have it was lovely
30:07I've even had one influencer couple turn up and get outraged that they couldn't just set up a tripod and
30:15start taking shots
30:16Yeah well it's not a studio it's a restaurant isn't it?
30:19And in the Ivy as well and when I went in it was lovely
30:22Oh alright Jenny you said alright that's why she said you've been to the Ivy
30:25It ran full and it was lovely
30:28Alright we know you've been to the Ivy
30:29The Ambience
30:30Oh alright
30:31And the Ivy
30:37In Leeds
30:39I went to Margaret's last night and when I got there she said she's been death cleaning
30:45She's been prepping for death for a long time as Margaret
30:48This isn't Margaret's first death clean
30:51Sisters Ellie and Izzy
30:53A food mixer she's binned that
30:56She gave me a full bottle of unopened baileys that she got for her birthday
31:01And I got this bowl and a glass plate
31:06I don't know why it's wrapped in a hood
31:08Why is it wrapped in a hood?
31:09I've no idea it's wrapped in a hood
31:12And then she's texted me as well another glass plate and a quiche dish
31:19She said ask me if I want them but she did have a glass cake stand that she wouldn't part
31:24with
31:24And Barry were having a go at it
31:26I want the glass cake stand
31:27He was saying let her have it let her have it you never use it
31:30And she was going no too many memories too many memories
31:32On Tuesday night our favourite mountain-based game show continued on ITV
31:39Ellie, Summit, Final
31:41Oh here we are Cheryl
31:43After a long wait
31:45I know there's only four there
31:46The finals of the Summit
31:47I can't wait
31:48Who will reach the Summit?
31:54What do you think is the point of a programme like this?
31:58Don't think about it too hard, Natty
32:00OK
32:02Oh my God, look how big that crevasse is
32:06Oh shit, no
32:08Oh, I wouldn't fancy that
32:10Oh, look at that
32:11How would you get across there?
32:13This deep ice crevasse stands between you and the Summit
32:18And that's the way they're going across
32:19Oh my God, what with that old ladder?
32:22No, thank you
32:23No
32:25Next up is Drew
32:27Come on, Drew
32:27Oh, is this the chap who's got a missing limb, the amputee?
32:31Yeah
32:31I've had really good balance throughout my life
32:33Because I've had to adapt and overcome
32:36I don't know if you've heard it
32:38I've had really good balance in my life
32:44Yo, yes
32:46Didn't make any fuss about that
32:47He just went for it, didn't he?
32:49Oh, yes
32:50He did it very quickly
32:51Well done
32:51Well done
32:52Yes
32:52With Drew having made it look easy
32:54The pressure is on for Dockers
32:56Who is last to cross
32:58I wouldn't have a problem if Dockers fell
33:00You're not a fan then?
33:01No
33:01No
33:01Were Dockers the knobhead?
33:03Dockers was the knobhead
33:04How's the knobhead got so far?
33:06He's come in and out of being a knobhead
33:08He's been on a bit of a journey
33:09It's an easy little ladder
33:11You only got to put one foot in front of the other
33:13Look at him, he's full of BS
33:16This guy
33:16Come on, Dockers
33:18Yes, Dockers
33:20Whoa
33:22Look, he's like
33:23Oh, oh
33:24But unfortunately for Dockers
33:27The Mountain's Keeper has arrived
33:29Oh
33:29Oh, shit
33:30Oh, here we go
33:32The Keeper's coming
33:33Oh, here he comes
33:33The old helicopter's coming
33:34The Mountain's Keeper
33:35He'll shed a brick now
33:36And he'll fly right by him
33:37Oh, no
33:42Oh
33:44That's awfully unplanned
33:46That's a bit mean, isn't it?
33:47I ain't got a balance
33:49Oh, shit
33:52Oh, there he goes
33:58He's gone
34:00He's gone, yes
34:02Dockers
34:06Help
34:07Help
34:09Help
34:10What's happening?
34:12Nobody's running over to have a look
34:14See how he is
34:14They're really not that bothered, are they?
34:17Fucking hell
34:17Oh, he's dangling
34:19He's really mugged himself off doing that, hasn't he?
34:22Shut up
34:23That's brutal
34:24Oh, he's coming back up
34:25You're taking that off to him
34:27Yeah
34:27Well, he's still got to get across, mind
34:30Yes, Dockers
34:32Oh, he's running for it
34:33He's running
34:34He's not hanging about
34:37He's going to do it now
34:39He's going to do it
34:40He's there
34:40Boom
34:43Woo
34:44Woo
34:44Well done, mate
34:45Well done, mate
34:47Well done, mate
34:48I don't know anybody
34:49I know who would like to do that
34:51Do you?
34:52Know anybody who'd like to do that?
34:54My brother
34:55Apart from your brother, yes
34:57Well, he'd been up Everest, hasn't he?
35:07In Blackpool
35:08Oh, Colin, right?
35:09He goes for his haircut round the corner from our house, doesn't he?
35:12Apparently, what's happened is
35:13She's got, like, this low-level treat tray
35:16Anyway
35:16Oh, Colin's had one of the treats
35:18Only it's three for a fiver
35:20Like, well, we've not authorised the treats
35:23Pete and his little sister Sophie
35:26But Paige is non-confrontational, you see
35:29So she went
35:29Oh, right
35:30Well, we'll pick another two, then
35:32I'll have a tally's worth
35:34So she's then
35:36That's how we've ended up with the cows here in me bed
35:38Oh, well, it wouldn't be that
35:39But it's 42 quid to get his hair cut anyway
35:4142 quid?
35:43I'm sure it is
35:44That's with a hot foam shampoo and a turtle
35:46That haxes out
35:49This week, we were down with the kids again
35:51For the big return of Borders on the BBC
35:54I went to board when I was six years old
35:57That's how much your mother disliked you
35:58Yeah, exactly
35:59I mean, it was cruel
36:00Have you considered boarding school for Jimmy?
36:02And either
36:03Um, while they do do my head in
36:06And it would be nice to get rid of them sometimes
36:08It would not be financially viable for me to do that
36:16It's a bit creepy, isn't it?
36:19Oh, it's this
36:20What's happening here?
36:21Someone's breaking in
36:23The hen house
36:24Is that a pig?
36:25Is empty
36:26What?
36:27The hen house is empty
36:32Oh, my God
36:33It's a gang
36:34Gang of pigs
36:39Oh, bloody hell
36:40What are they doing?
36:42This is sacrilegious
36:43Religious
36:47Oh, they're all right
36:49They're all right
36:49Aren't they?
36:51What's them?
36:53Hinks
36:53What the hell?
36:55Muslims, what's not?
37:04I mean, the best that ever happened at my school
37:08Was a very, very rich kid
37:12Managed to get a helicopter
37:14Pay for it
37:15And they put the headmaster's car on top of the chapel
37:18Fucking hell, that's quite good
37:20That's quite good
37:21The headmaster came out in the morning
37:23Where's my car?
37:24And it was on top of the chapel
37:28Oh, my gosh
37:31That's St. Gisbert
37:34What the actual fuck?
37:37Yeah, what happened?
37:38Break in
37:39Break in
37:40He's got in
37:41They're on the ball, aren't they?
37:42Everyone's saying it was an inside job
37:44An inside job?
37:45What, really?
37:46Inside job
37:47Well, they had keys to open it, didn't they?
37:49Oh, look at this
37:52Posh wankers
37:53I wonder if they've pinched the pigs from the farm
37:55What farm?
37:57Just any farm
37:58I feel sorry for the pigs
38:00Is this real?
38:01No, Ab
38:02A bit later
38:03With St. Gilbert's on lockdown
38:05We saw Toby hatching a plan to break out and see his girlfriend
38:13What, are you the boogeyman?
38:14Oh, what now?
38:15How are we breaking out?
38:16Oh, she was in Corrie
38:18I know you figured out a way to sneak out after hours to visit Abby
38:21She was married to Tyrone
38:24Okay, well, you heard Carol
38:25We're in lockdown
38:26Hmm
38:28Got to stick to the rules
38:30Hey
38:31Give me that back
38:32What is that?
38:34Oh, what's in the parcel?
38:35What's the bolt cutters for?
38:38We got bolt cutters for
38:39Is he really looking to sneak out?
38:41For real?
38:41Or in the fence
38:42I feel like I'm watching, like, a kid's great escape
38:44It's all desperate to break out for anyway
38:46We want revenge on Caldwell College
38:48It was them who tried to score
38:51Cos, she's the right Sherlock, isn't she?
38:53She thinks that it's Caldwell College, I think
38:55She wants to go out and fuck their sight up
38:58Yeah
38:58The sight
39:06The bolt cutters are out
39:07It's ten o'clock
39:08It's time to go
39:14I love the fact he's got two flashlights
39:16Two flashlights
39:16We're pretending to be lightsabers
39:18Yeah
39:22Oh, Toby, you're doing a mud tip, didn't it?
39:28What are you going to do, Tobes?
39:29He's going
39:30He wants a shark, Simon
39:34Studying hard
39:35That's what I like to see
39:37You studying hard
39:38He's doing science
39:39Cos I remember that book
39:44This is like Romeo and Juliet
39:46Throwing little stones at the window
39:47What's the window, bro?
39:49Break free window
39:50No, let me in
39:51Lucky you, I came your way
39:54What happened to Hi, Hello?
39:56Like
39:57They ain't got much time, bro
40:00They're sneaking around
40:02Hey, Dad, he's in the next room
40:04And the rooms are like paper
40:05Listen, right
40:06Would you want to go in the garage, then?
40:13Oh
40:14You'd at least get on the floor
40:15Yeah
40:17Hold on to the bed board
40:19So it doesn't squeak
40:20Come on, kids
40:25Fuck
40:25My dad
40:26Hide
40:28Hide
40:28Under bed
40:29There you go
40:34What has Toby found there, though?
40:36He's gone
40:36He can come out
40:41No
40:43I mean
40:44The pig masks
40:46No
40:48Oh, no
40:49It was air
40:50Did you trash my school?
40:53Did you trash my school?
40:54For no shit, Sherlock
40:57About sleeping with the enemy, eh?
40:58Yeah
40:59Jeez
41:00They're all bloody sex mad at 16
41:02When I was 16
41:06Me and Becky Fish
41:07Used to
41:08She had one of those beds
41:09That was for like old people
41:10That would like
41:11Move up and down
41:12So we just used to play on that
41:14Listening to her black-eyed peas
41:15On her iPad
41:16None of this shit
41:20In hall
41:20Do you want a glass of wine, Jenny?
41:22Oh, go on then
41:23Yes, I will
41:23Thank you
41:24Best friends, Jenny and Lee
41:26Do you know something?
41:27I was talking to Steve the other day on the phone
41:29Yeah
41:30And he was saying to me
41:31And he went
41:32What are you drinking?
41:33And I went
41:35It's a glass of wine
41:37And he went
41:38Do you know?
41:38And I went
41:39Stephen, it's Saturday night
41:40I'm having one glass of wine
41:41Yeah
41:41Seven o'clock
41:42You know what I mean?
41:43Yeah
41:43And you know what he said to me?
41:45He said
41:47Do you know alcohol is your enemy, Lee?
41:50Really?
41:51Yeah
41:51He did
41:52Do you know what I said to him?
41:54No
41:54Jesus said
41:55Love your enemy
41:55Did he?
41:56Jesus
41:57Ha, ha, ha, ha
41:58Case closed
42:00Ha, ha
42:01Am I going to get a wine tasting?
42:04Where's the wine?
42:05This week
42:06We were off stateside on Prime Video
42:09Hoping to get a revealing look into the life of the First Lady
42:12You're excited for this, aren't you?
42:14Well, of course I am
42:15Because I was
42:15One of the four people in England
42:17Who wanted to go and see it in the cinema
42:19When I only think three went
42:20So you would have been the fourth?
42:21Yes
42:21I would have been
42:22And I very nearly did
42:27Oh, look at the
42:28Red Louboutins
42:34Oh
42:36Look, she's taking her glasses off
42:38Oh, it's she beautiful, Lee
42:39I always wanted to take my sunglasses off like that
42:48Oh, no, she's on the page, I
42:50Happy New Year
42:51Thank you
42:53We don't get this door-to-door service
42:55How come she hasn't had to be frisked?
42:57We always get frisked at the airport
43:01Oh, no!
43:03Is that him?
43:05What the fuck?
43:06You can't buy a taste, can you?
43:08Everyone wants to know
43:10So here it is
43:1120 days in my life
43:13Does everybody want to know?
43:14I've never actually heard her voice before
43:17Yes, you must have done
43:19Family, business, philanthropy
43:21And becoming First Lady of the United States
43:24Again
43:25Oh, all right, love
43:27All right
43:28Get out
43:28Drop the mic
43:29Yeah
43:32Melania
43:34We don't care for her, do we?
43:36We don't care
43:38She's just there
43:39I mean, she ain't no Michelle Obama, let's be honest
43:42No, if it was her
43:44Yeah
43:44Yeah, I'd be watching it
43:46We still are
43:47That's true
43:48The film took us behind the scenes
43:50In the lead-up to a big day for Melania's husband
43:53The inauguration is made up of four days of celebrations
43:56Four days
43:57Four days
43:59Blinkinick
43:59Starting with the candlelight dinner
44:02The night before the swearing-in ceremony
44:04She had a what?
44:05A candlelight dinner?
44:08What?
44:09A candlelit dinner
44:10It'll be Trump, Mandelson, Epstein
44:14Those kind of
44:14Andrew
44:15Those sort of people
44:16Chef Chris's menu
44:18Begins with a golden egg and caviar
44:21As one does
44:22And this is
44:25The first course
44:27I know what you're thinking
44:28Is it chavvy?
44:30No, it's not
44:31No, and do you know why it's not chavvy?
44:33Because they've got money
44:34Yes
44:35Later, after the swearing-in ceremony
44:38The glad rags were on
44:40And it was time to party
44:41All of the official ceremonies are over
44:44It is time for the inaugural balls
44:47The inaugural balls
44:51Oh, crap, bastard
44:52You said it
44:53Yes, you did
44:54I thought you said Niagara Falls
44:56The Commander-in-Chief Ball
44:58For the military
44:59The Liberty Ball
45:01And the Starlight Ball
45:02Which will be our last stop
45:04It was a full itinerie, innit?
45:06Yeah
45:13Look at that
45:14Yeah
45:15And they say chivalry's dead, innit?
45:16He like chucked her halfway
45:18Go fuck off
45:18Do the rest yourself
45:19I've done my bit now
45:20And it wasn't long before Melania and Donald
45:23Were back at the White House
45:25And ready for bed
45:26Today was so rich with meaning
45:28And since each moment was historic
45:30And filled with purpose
45:32Time no longer mattered
45:34What the bollocks are you talking about?
45:36I don't know
45:37And quite honestly
45:38If it's two o'clock in the morning
45:39You would have taken your shoes off by now
45:42See, if you're First Lady
45:43You cannae have a down day
45:45When you're just in your jammies
45:47Watching Law and Order
45:48SVU all day
45:49Without your teeth in and your bra
45:50Can you?
45:51Well, certainly not
45:51I know
45:52Knowing that I was living a day
45:54Which would be remembered forever
45:56Not for the right reasons, though, no
45:58Nah
45:59I'll be honest with you
46:00I've forgotten it
46:00I'll see you guys tomorrow
46:03Good night
46:03Sweet dreams, Mr. President
46:05Yeah
46:06Is Melania not going with you?
46:08Ah, is he going to his own room now?
46:10Obviously
46:11They don't sleep in the same room
46:13Night-night, Donald
46:14I actually feel like I know the exact same amount
46:16About Melania Trump
46:18That I did when I started watching this
46:21Which is nothing
46:22Yeah
46:23She's Donald Trump's wife
46:25That's right