- 1 week ago
The Happy Mess Method Season 1 Episode 5
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FunTranscript
00:00You alright?
00:10I'm so tired.
00:12For what?
00:14Kelly, it was like having two Sabrinas all day yesterday.
00:17That should give you energy.
00:18I need a nap.
00:19We don't have time for a nap.
00:21We've got a game plan.
00:22We got this call from Andrew because Kelly keeps the house too clean.
00:27We just need to make that house like a real mess.
00:29Oh, I can't do that.
00:31But you're right.
00:32The fact that she doesn't want the house to look like there are kids there,
00:35I want that to change.
00:36Yeah, I'd love for her to be able to take on a little bit more of Andrew's viewpoint.
00:40I love that, I do.
00:41Just take it down like a little notch so they can enjoy life together.
00:45Alright, let's take a look at what's going on in there.
00:49Hey baby, whatcha doing?
00:50Um, just picking up.
00:52I'm gonna take the kids to the playground, wanna come?
00:54Um, I just wanna pick up this room and get all back in the guest room.
00:58And just get everything out of this space that's a toy.
01:02Okay, how much longer do you think it's gonna take?
01:05Um, I don't know.
01:0615 minutes?
01:07Like, don't wait for me.
01:08Alright.
01:11He wanted to spend time with the kids.
01:13That's exactly why he's called us.
01:15Well, who else is gonna clean?
01:16Maybe there's a bit of learned helplessness on Andrew's side too,
01:19because he knows she's gonna do all the work.
01:22What Andrew doesn't realize is that by not offering to help Kelly keep the home neat and tidy,
01:26there's creating a cycle where she feels like she has no choice but to do it all.
01:29And then inherently, she doesn't feel like she has the option of being able to take time to spend with him and the kids,
01:33which is the one thing that he wants.
01:35I just need you guys to play for a little bit quietly.
01:38I'm gonna do a couple emails, and then when I have my work call...
01:41How many emails?
01:44Maybe 10 emails.
01:46How does she do any work in this office?
01:48I'm gonna have a work call, and then when I have my call, I need you guys to go play downstairs.
01:54Come on, this is dumb.
01:58She needs a lock on that door.
02:00That's a lot to manage.
02:02Yeah.
02:03Because she's the one that wants to be tidy, she wants everything to be under control.
02:07She's doing all the managing, and she has to sort of play the, like, you know...
02:11The house manager.
02:13Yeah.
02:14And I think she wants to be the fun mom too.
02:16If we give Kelly permission to let go, do you think she'll take it?
02:20I don't know.
02:21I hope so.
02:22I guess we'll see.
02:23What do you think Kelly's doing right now?
02:39I think she's probably cleaning.
02:41The truth is, a lot of people who need to control their environment and how it looks,
02:44feel like other things are out of their control.
02:47Hello!
02:48Hi again!
02:49And studies have shown that people actually turn to these repetitive behaviors
02:53like cleaning as a way of maintaining that feeling of constant control.
02:56Did you spend any time last night cleaning at all?
02:59Yes.
03:00That's why it's so important to slowly implement change that eases you into adopting these new
03:04behaviors and letting go.
03:06As much as a clean house makes me feel relaxed, the pressure to get to that, it's a lot.
03:12And I'm sure you feel the same way.
03:13Definitely.
03:14I want to get to a place where I care less about a lot of those things.
03:19I love that.
03:20I just don't know how to get there.
03:22What we want to do is give you some different perfection zones, areas of the house where
03:26you need them to be perfect.
03:27And then we figure out ways where we give you permission to be a little bit messy within
03:32those zones.
03:34This method is called Baby Steps.
03:38Whether you're on the cleaner side of things or the messier side of things, it can be really
03:42hard to step outside of your comfort zone, especially when you've had the same habits
03:45for years.
03:46And although it's pretty easy to just tell somebody to chill out.
03:49Yeah, I think we've had that conversation a few times.
03:52It's a lot better to just ease somebody into a new habit.
03:55Otherwise, if it's too big of a change, you get overwhelmed and you just give up.
03:59So if you're like me or Kelly who are on the neater side, you can start implementing small,
04:04medium, and large perfection zones where you start to introduce a little bit of a mess.
04:08Whether it's a smaller zone like misaligned bowls in the cupboard or a larger zone like
04:13leaving a bit of a mess in your primary bedroom.
04:15And if you're on the messier side of the spectrum, you can create imperfection zones in
04:19areas that need to be tidier.
04:20So your smaller zone could be making sure the bowls are always stacked properly.
04:25I think he missed one.
04:27Good.
04:32Better.
04:35First impressions.
04:37A little scared.
04:38All we're trying to do is bring you a few tiny little baby steps closer towards the
04:43middle.
04:44So we want to identify your perfection zone.
04:46We'll do it in three steps too.
04:48So is there something small around the house that can drive you crazy if it's not where
04:52it should be?
04:53This room is a big one.
04:55I need to have the pillows perfectly in the corners.
04:58So like if this was like, that would drive you crazy?
05:01Yes.
05:02Yeah.
05:03Oh.
05:04That's too far.
05:05Now that's probably crazy.
05:07Crossed a line.
05:08We crossed a line.
05:09It's hard to change long habits, old habits.
05:12So I'm a little worried about it.
05:15But knowing that I only have to take it one baby step at a time feels manageable.
05:20So maybe one of the baby steps for this particular zone is at the end of the night one of the
05:28pillows is askew before you go to bed.
05:31Just let it be.
05:32Just see.
05:33Try it on.
05:34I can try.
05:35Just try.
05:36Because I'm sure he'd rather you come up to bed sooner.
05:38That's my baby.
05:39Right?
05:40Damn.
05:42You're welcome.
05:43I mean, you know, I'm not too old of a dog.
05:46I might be able to learn some new tricks.
05:48So I'm willing to be tested a little bit.
05:50Okay.
05:51So if this is the small, what would you say is medium?
05:53Probably like the dining room area.
05:55Okay.
05:56Can we go in?
05:57That's probably next.
05:58Yep.
05:59Okay.
06:00Let's walk through that.
06:01I hope that Kelly can realize our whole method is about not being perfect.
06:03If we give you a method and you fail at it.
06:05That's okay.
06:06That's fine.
06:07So if you're not perfect at being imperfect, that's okay too.
06:13What drives you crazy in this space?
06:15Pretty much anytime the kids bring out their toys, because it's like our hanging
06:19area, walk area, I want it back in the playroom.
06:22Even in my house where I like to have everything polished, Olivia has toys in the living room.
06:27I just have like huge baskets on each side of the sofa so she could throw things in.
06:32Listen, a basket in the room sounds like a good compromise.
06:37Can I test your limits?
06:38Okay.
06:39Sure.
06:40Okay.
06:41Let's do this.
06:42Can we also play with the toys?
06:43Yes, of course.
06:44What do you want to play with?
06:45The great thing about baskets and bins is that they are low maintenance storage options.
06:48There's no lids, so there's no psychological impediment.
06:52There's no reason to not just chuck stuff in there, especially if you're a kid.
06:55And they're decorative.
06:57So it's not much of an eyesore for somebody as particular as Kelly.
07:00Where are you going to put those?
07:02Let's say the night's done.
07:04Kids just played with this stuff.
07:06Can I go upstairs?
07:07I mean, can I just put it back in the bin, but we'll leave the bin in the room?
07:10Yes.
07:11Okay.
07:12Yes.
07:13Leaving the toys out in this room with Renee will definitely be a challenge.
07:18It sounds like a good compromise.
07:20I'm okay with leaving the bins out, for sure.
07:22So if the pillows were small, the toys in the living room is medium, what would be large?
07:28Probably the upstairs playroom.
07:30Okay, and that's where the girls are now?
07:31Yes.
07:32Can we go say hi?
07:33Sure.
07:34Okay.
07:35Kelly's large perfection zone is the toy room.
07:38And I would love to be able to turn this perfection zone into a chill imperfection zone.
07:49Hello, girls.
07:51Hi.
07:52This is Sabrina.
07:54Hi.
07:55And this is Jen.
07:56Hello.
07:57You guys are so cute.
07:58What are you guys working on?
07:59Are you reading a book, sweetie?
08:01Yeah.
08:02Where do the books go?
08:03Books.
08:04I don't know.
08:08So this is the kind of mess that sort of drives you crazy?
08:11Yeah.
08:12And then I try and get to my desk, so I have to clean it up first.
08:15And oftentimes it's even bigger than this.
08:17Yeah.
08:18I will say that part of the baby steps is like resisting tidying, like a tiny bit.
08:23So think about maybe what tiny amount of chaos you would be okay with.
08:28Baby, maybe you could leave some of those things on the floor tonight.
08:31As long as I can clear a pathway to my desk, I can maybe be okay with that.
08:35That's a baby step.
08:36Choosing a perfection zone in your house, something like a kid's room, a storage room, a garage,
08:41that tends to typically get messy anyway, it's giving yourself a little bit of freedom to push your boundaries.
08:46And you're relieving yourself of the stress of feeling like you have to keep it perfect.
08:51So we've got throw pillows, we've got the living room, we have the playroom to just identify other zones of perfection around the house where maybe, you know, you could...
09:01Relax.
09:02Relax like a little bit around like your routine.
09:05I'm a little worried about having to be messier.
09:09We'll see you tomorrow.
09:10Okay.
09:11All right.
09:12Bye, guys.
09:13Bye.
09:14Bye.
09:15Baby steps.
09:16That's all they're asking for.
09:17What do you think?
09:18Maybe for one night, Mama doesn't do any cleaning?
09:19Yeah.
09:20I will do my best, but it'll be new for me.
09:23Maybe you clean up instead of me.
09:25And I have a light.
09:27And it will wrap into white.
09:29Balling.
09:30How do you think they did that as well work last night?
09:43I think Kelly probably tidied everything.
09:45You think?
09:46Yeah.
09:47It feels like it was going to be quite difficult for her.
09:50And I think that's why these baby steps are going to be so important for her.
09:54We got to get them both to make baby steps.
09:56It's not fair in any relationship where the expectations of cleaning falls onto one person's
10:01shoulder, even if that person is the one who's bothered by the mess.
10:04I understand there's an extreme to being too clean.
10:07There's also an extreme to being too chill.
10:09And by Andrew not contributing, he's essentially saying to Kelly that her needs don't matter that
10:13much.
10:14And when those little resentments occur and start to build up.
10:17Hi.
10:18Hi.
10:19Hello again.
10:20How are you?
10:21It can be very difficult to find the motivation to make any changes at all.
10:24So how was your night?
10:25I want to hear all about it.
10:26We poured a glass of wine and tried to, like, think about your homework.
10:31I see your pillows.
10:33They are askew if you notice.
10:36A little.
10:37A little.
10:38How did it feel?
10:39Since I feel like I kind of had, like, an expert's permission to let it go, it felt
10:44a little bit okay.
10:45How were the toys in the other room?
10:47Can I take a look?
10:48Yep.
10:49Did you leave them?
10:50I did.
10:52The boxes are out.
10:53Yay.
10:54They are.
10:55I am so proud of you.
10:58Congratulations.
10:59And drawings too.
11:01I left the art out.
11:03You know, she was still working on it.
11:05So I thought maybe she can continue it later today.
11:10Who are you and what did you do with Kelly?
11:13I am shocked.
11:14I'm shocked that she left all that stuff out all night.
11:18This is a very large win.
11:20Do the victory dance.
11:21I am.
11:22Did it feel at all different this morning?
11:26Kelly did really well yesterday.
11:28I give her a lot of credit.
11:29But she's got her limits.
11:31So we'll see if this keeps up.
11:33We don't want to push too hard.
11:34We get it.
11:35Yes.
11:36Like, even if it just lasts for, you know, 48 hours, you've tried something new.
11:39Thanks, guys.
11:40I'm giving myself some credit that I'm doing the work and hopefully we'll be a happier family
11:46because of it.
11:47Can I head upstairs?
11:49Sure.
11:50You know what I was thinking about this morning?
11:52Do you happen to have a basket?
11:54I do.
11:55Can you grab it?
11:56Yes.
11:57I have like a little tip.
12:04So I was thinking, and it doesn't, it's not going to necessarily be this basket,
12:08that if we leave like a basket here and it'll be all the way up basket.
12:12There are toys in the downstairs room.
12:14There are toys in the upstairs room.
12:16So Kelly's going back and forth.
12:18But she doesn't need to be going up and down all day.
12:20So you just throw things in there that need to go upstairs and once a day, maybe for you
12:25twice a day, you can bring the whole basket up instead of running up.
12:29It's going to save you time and stress.
12:31I end up stacking things.
12:32Right?
12:33Here, here, here, here.
12:34I know.
12:35I'm the same way.
12:36The on the way up basket is great for somebody like Kelly because it's still contained.
12:41It's going to get up there, but it's not in plain view.
12:43I love that idea.
12:44Are you going to be okay with that?
12:46Yeah, I think, I think so.
12:48We'll make it a cute basket.
12:49Yeah.
12:50Come on, let's go up.
12:52I think having a basket at the bottom of the stairs as a forever staple seems doable.
12:58I love the idea that not everything needs to be put away.
13:01It can just be put in a spot and we can clean it up from time to time.
13:05Maybe sometimes you can take the basket out.
13:07Maybe sometimes.
13:08Oh, yay.
13:09They're still out.
13:10Wow.
13:11They're still out.
13:12I will say it still looks marvelously neat for a playroom.
13:17But I love that you like fell asleep with this.
13:18Something as simple as just letting the toys stay out overnight seems like a simple task,
13:22but for somebody like Kelly, taking those steps to implement real change could be difficult
13:26to overcome.
13:27It's going to take a real conscious effort on her part to be able to learn how to give
13:30up control and just relax a little bit.
13:31It's time to have fun.
13:32Yeah.
13:33Jen's got a little surprise for you.
13:34Uh-oh.
13:35I've never had anyone react to fun that way.
13:36Kelly.
13:37Normally we like to take you beyond the mess because there's a mess in the house and people
13:50are stressed about it and we want to get them away.
13:52In your case, there is no mess really.
13:54I feel like the mess is more maybe like in your mind than it is in the house.
13:59So we want to get you away from that feeling and you and I are going to go hop in a wetsuit,
14:04not the same one.
14:05We've got two.
14:06We're going to the beach.
14:07We're going to go boogie boarding.
14:08Oh.
14:09Going beyond the mess is going to be so key for Kelly because she's been so wrapped up
14:14in her cleaning that she's forgotten to take the time to be present in all the other areas
14:19of her life.
14:20Have you ever been?
14:21It's been a minute.
14:22And I want to get her to a place where she can just remember to be more in the moment
14:26and experience the unpredictability of nature and all the joys that it can bring.
14:30We're going to the beach?
14:31No.
14:32You're going to stay with Sabrina.
14:33Yes.
14:34And we've got a couple of things that we're going to ask you to do as well.
14:37So now I'm going to play while he's going to work?
14:39Yeah.
14:40How does that sound?
14:41I don't know about this.
14:42It's going to be fun.
14:43We've all got to make sacrifices.
14:45When I woke up today, I didn't realize that I was going to be boogie boarding.
14:50So when you do more, I get to do less.
14:53I'm a little nervous though about what Sabrina has in store for me.
14:57I know that baby steps eventually turn into big steps.
15:01And I don't know if I'm really prepared for those.
15:03We'll see.
15:04Let's go.
15:05Let's get your witsuits on.
15:06Great.
15:07All right.
15:08Let's get ready to have fun.
15:09See how you do, Jen.
15:10Wipe out.
15:12Oh my God, it's so pretty.
15:13It really is.
15:14Okay.
15:15This is amazing.
15:16Doesn't the water feel really good?
15:17I'm into it.
15:18Kelly lives right around the corner from the beach, but she is so busy cleaning and organizing
15:35that she doesn't even get a chance to enjoy it.
15:37I can't believe you would ever choose to tidy over coming here.
15:41And just spending a little bit of extra time in nature can have so many benefits.
15:45It can decrease your blood pressure, it can enhance your immune system functioning, and
15:50overall it just puts you in a better mood.
15:51Oh my gosh, look at that wave.
15:52We should try and catch something like that.
15:55For Kelly, this might involve going in the ocean, but for someone else it might be going
15:58for a hike or just a walk around the block.
16:01It's all about taking time to disconnect, be in nature, and be in the present moment.
16:06When we started talking to Sabrina and Jen, I never would have guessed that going in the ocean
16:19in a witsuit was part of the plan, and I was definitely apprehensive.
16:25But I had so much more fun boogie boarding than I thought I would.
16:30That was actually so fun.
16:32Yeah, I feel, are you going to be a beach bum from now on?
16:34I don't know, but I need to do this more often.
16:37Yes.
16:38I did not think I would see this side of Kelly today.
16:41I'm excited for Kelly to translate this sense of fun and spontaneity into her life going forward.
16:47I feel blissed out.
16:48Do you wish that you were cleaning instead right now?
16:51No.
16:53Me neither.
16:57All right, so while the girls are boogie boarding, we're going to get to boogie on the cleaning.
17:02So I think Kelly did a good job with her baby steps.
17:05And I know because I am Kelly in my house, maintaining the house while working and being a mom is stressful.
17:12So I want you to sort of get into a routine of helping a little bit more of the things that drive her crazy
17:17so she doesn't have to do it.
17:18Sure.
17:19Even though having the house tidy is less of a priority for Andrew,
17:22him not sharing any of the responsibilities is creating a lose-lose situation for Kelly.
17:27Because her only two options are accepting the mess or taking time away from her family to clean.
17:32What do you think, like, spots sort of on a daily basis stress her out?
17:36It really starts at the front door.
17:38Yeah.
17:39We come in with the kids from the playground or the beach.
17:41We take everything off.
17:42There's sandy clothes.
17:43Right.
17:44And we just sort of shower out there and leave them to dry.
17:47Yeah.
17:48Until they somehow get cleaned up.
17:50Yes.
17:51By Kelly.
17:52Probably.
17:53Probably.
17:54So maybe you could take that on.
17:55That's probably one area where I could maybe take a baby step.
17:59Can we go out there now?
18:00Sure.
18:01Let's see what this is.
18:03Yeah, I can see how this could create some stress coming home from the grocery store and seeing this.
18:07Yeah.
18:08Let's go.
18:09The key is finding simple things that Andra can do to pitch in and then sticking to those responsibilities on a daily basis.
18:14So this is how it normally is.
18:15Yeah, perfect towel drying rack.
18:17I don't think that's what it's more.
18:20So maybe we can clean this up before they get back from boogie boarding.
18:23We, that's like me and you.
18:24Yeah, that's right.
18:25Okay.
18:26This is a team effort.
18:27All right, all right, all right.
18:28Kelly doesn't want to walk to the front door of her house and immediately be welcomed with clutter.
18:33That's just gonna put her in a bad mood.
18:35So I want Andra to understand, sometimes it's not about how much you clean.
18:38It's about being consistent so your partner knows this is something you will always take care of.
18:42What other areas do you think in the house we could pass through?
18:45The kitchen for sure.
18:46Okay.
18:47I do almost all the cooking in the house.
18:48And...
18:49You like to cook, not clean.
18:51I guess that's true.
18:52Yeah.
18:53And eat.
18:54Right.
18:55Cook, eat, no clean.
18:56All right, let's go over there.
18:57I like cooking with a lot of fruits and vegetables.
18:58Yeah.
18:59So I ended up leaving a lot of the fruits and vegetables out over there to ripen.
19:03So how would she normally want to have it?
19:05She would normally want to make sure everything is tidily in the bowl.
19:11But why don't you just put it in the bowl when you get home from the grocery store?
19:14I just think it's not really a big deal.
19:17We have to meet in the middle.
19:19It's like I don't need you to make everything perfect.
19:21With two kids, there's no chance the house can always be perfect.
19:24But it's all about balance.
19:26If Andrew does a little more, that means Kelly gets to do a little less.
19:30And that means they all get to spend more time together.
19:33I have to head back upstairs.
19:34I also saw some of your clothes here on the chair.
19:36So maybe you could put these away too.
19:38What do I do if I get a little cold?
19:40You get them out of your closet.
19:41Okay, Sabrina.
19:42I know, I know.
19:43Grab your stuff because you guys aren't staying here tonight.
19:45I have to finish the rooms.
19:47Okay, exciting.
19:48Awesome.
19:49This is gonna be fun.
19:50Even though we're not dealing with a ton of mess in these two rooms,
19:52there's still a lot of work to do to get ready for tomorrow.
19:55We're completely switching the functionality of these two rooms.
19:58I got a new rug so we could take this one out.
20:00That's great.
20:02I understand Kelly.
20:03I couldn't imagine releasing control to let somebody redo my space.
20:10So I hope she's gonna like it.
20:12But honestly, with people who would love to be in control, you just never know.
20:16Oh my gosh.
20:17Cheers.
20:18Cheers.
20:19Ah.
20:20That was so nice.
20:21So relaxing.
20:22I mean, you know, once you get here, it's all worth it.
20:23Yeah.
20:24I feel like that's the thing.
20:25It's just like leaving the house.
20:26Right.
20:27And like leaving all of that behind.
20:28And going like the dish will be there when you get back.
20:29That thought has never crossed my mind.
20:30But I think the point is like being out in the waves.
20:31You have to relinquish control, right?
20:32It's the ocean.
20:33And I feel like it's kind of scary.
20:34But there's something also so freeing and letting go.
20:35Definitely.
20:36I would say that there are definitely controlled parts to my personality.
20:43And I think also just having little kids.
20:46I probably try to control the past and probably try to control the past, but it's just kind
20:50that I think that there's something so freeing and letting go.
20:53Definitely.
20:55I would say that there are definitely controlled parts to my personality.
21:01And I think also just having little kids.
21:04probably try to control things that I can because so much of my life is not in my control but when
21:11I first met Andrew I was probably a little bit more spontaneous and I did jump in the ocean more
21:16often and we could probably remember a little bit more of the pre-mom Kelly yeah and bring
21:23a little bit she's ready to play in the beginning I was a little bit concerned that Sabrina and Jen
21:30were trying to change who I am in my core but I realized now they're just bringing out a little
21:36bit of me that was already in there and helped me have a little bit more fun in life and enjoy
21:42my family a little bit more I found you guys come join our beach picnic this is amazing so much fun
21:49how is organizing well I have good news Andrew did the dishes fixed the front porch there's no towels
21:55no laundry wow and I think I'm gonna buy a wetsuit tonight really yeah it was a blast we are changing
22:01people's lives I never in a million years thought that you were gonna get her in the water let alone
22:05say that she's gonna start boogie boarding that is the magic of going beyond the mess I've already
22:11made a lot of progress too in the room so will you come back with me to finish up 100% let's go
22:16all right enjoy enjoy the last day of standing set soak it in oh am I allowed to change out of my
22:22what say before we go back to okay so are we ready yes oh you did the combo I want to have a
22:45couple stuffed animals in the ball pit just as like you know you can break the rules let's break
22:50all the rules sometimes I am positive that Andrew laid-back surfer guy that he is is gonna love
22:57whatever we've done Kelly I'm still not so sure I'm feeling so excited to see what Jen and Sabrina have
23:07done with our house but I'm of course nervous because I'm a very particular person and change is
23:13always hard I guess that's the part that maybe makes me a little nervous how are you guys feeling
23:23all the feelings okay we got we actually you know what I have a little surprise for you and your
23:30sister in the living room you want to see it even though Kelly and Andrew want us to focus on the
23:34office and playroom in the interest of helping Kelly continue to make baby steps we have a pre reveal
23:39surprise what do you think tell your own easel bud Kelly I know you're like what actually looks
23:47like kids live here right mm-hmm I think it's great yeah listen they want to be around us they're got a
23:53place for their toys but they're not all over the place if you notice their bins of toys in here too
23:57they're very small bins and they're organized so you're okay with it you know having some toys out
24:07here maybe they'll be a little more well-behaved while we can and be cooking or having a glass of
24:13wine and if you want to have a fancy dinner party or like a cocktail hour these fold and you can put
24:19them right underneath the sofa maybe I should take back what I said in the beginning about wanting it
24:23to look like kids don't live here because clearly they do and we love them so much okay will you guys
24:30play and draw some stuff while I show mommy and daddy their new office space okay a pretty picture
24:37I'm okay with them having some baskets and there are easels and I'm so happy that Kelly and I are now
24:44on the same page and have found a way to let them live their lives and control the mess a little bit
24:50can't wait to see what you guys draw I bet you guys can't wait to see the room can't wait let's go all
24:55right Kelly is particular she's gonna have some opinions about what we've done here we go ready
25:01ready oh my gosh can I hold your hand sure I don't know how this is gonna go
25:06oh my god I love it oh oh my god is this what you're expecting so much better so much better
25:36everything like every little detail oh my gosh and can you believe it's the same bed from before
25:42doesn't even look yeah anything style leave it yeah people often don't realize how easy it is to take
25:48a piece you already own and just freshen it up by restyling it everything is styled with textures
25:54very calming colors and often adding those little details like throw pillows or decorative blanket can
26:00really elevate a room's vibe and purpose oh my god this desk setup is perfect
26:05so now you have your own desk all of your office accessories everything is nice and organized the most
26:15important thing that we did in the downstairs room was we gave Kelly her own separate toy free space where
26:22she can work distraction free and clutter free oh my god and your moms aren't there too obviously we
26:31wanted to have you know the stuff that was meaningful to you when my family comes to visit they'll be very
26:35comfier I was definitely scared I was feeling like it might not be up to my taste but I'm thrilled with what
26:46it came up with I am so hard to please and you guys know like I am completely flabbergasted at how
26:54perfect this is you have your own space now and Kelly you deserve it I think it's great that Kelly has a
26:59place that she's the only one who needs to come in here oh my god and you can have her work set up have
27:04quiet now this room is yours you can keep it as you like I'm just in awe I'm so relieved that Kelly's
27:10loving everything so far but I have no idea how she's going to feel about the girls playroom
27:14girls you ready compared to how the playroom was before there's actually a lot more stuff in it now
27:22so I'm just hoping she's going to be okay with that let's go guys
27:27oh my gosh look at this girls what that's the biggest bear I've ever seen in my whole life
27:55I know he's cozy it's so much more than I ever imagined
28:00I'm ecstatic
28:07you can hang like costumes over here we wanted to make sure that costumes were also highlighted in
28:16the space there's a mirror so you can like try on your costumes and then see I know it bothered you
28:21a lot Kelly when the girls would just dump it out yeah it'd be a big pile on the floor
28:25now they're displayed very important um so we're but you got it down
28:30it is easy I love how they each have their own spaces so they don't need to fight over things
28:38girls those are your separate hooks hang what you want don't touch each other stuff in addition to the
28:46hanging costumes we elevated the costume storage by adding pink under bed boxes they're easy for the
28:52girls to find and easy for them to just tuck away when they're done playing those bookcases are so
28:56incredible it turns so you can easily find the books you are there's just so many books on there
29:01it's a little heavy yeah oh my gosh this is so much easier for them we can group them by category
29:08you can categorize them you can organize the books yep there's like a gymnastics mat under the rug guys
29:14so it was really important for us to put the floor tiles here not only because I know the girls love
29:21gymnastics and having a really soft place to just play but for you if anything ever gets torn or ripped
29:28you just pop one tile out and you put the next one in I love the padding on the floor and you know
29:33part of playing is being sweet and quiet part of playing is tumbling around and it's great for
29:38that look at you can climb in the balls get in there oh my gosh the balls are gonna get everywhere you
29:52don't have to fall around and like pick them back up we can let this room hopefully be messy you know
29:58and girls what's so nice about this new space it's all yours and since mama's desk isn't here
30:03anymore you don't have to keep it clean all the time oh what do you think we're so happy yes we're
30:11so happy you can make a mess that's what it's for it's pretty perfect they've never had a place in
30:18the house that's just theirs they can do whatever they want with it and if I need to I can close the
30:23door Jen and I are so proud of you just taking the baby steps you've made such progress just in
30:30the days that we've been here Kelly really seems like a changed woman I can see she's made some
30:34real steps to allow a little bit more mess around the house and that's really inspired me to maybe take
30:39a few baby steps as well so whether it's the throw pillow whether it's this room just remember you know
30:47it's okay to let go a little bit a lot of this process is about letting go yes yeah no letting
30:52go of control letting go of stuff yeah the whole house doesn't have to be tidy for you to have fun
30:58when you get stressed go to the beach get a little sandy yeah I learned through this process that it's
31:06good to find the balance between cleaning and having fun and both can happen and both should happen and I'm
31:12happy for that change all right you guys enjoy your space thank you again for letting us think come
31:18you thank you bye guys are you ready to meet sherry our next client yeah this morning I'm lucky I made
31:38it out of the house why what happened it was just like chaos Olivia's breakfast lunch if she didn't make
31:43her bed I was almost late to work because I was cleaning I read about how parents pick up and tidy
31:50after their kids like 28 times a week on average it's way more than that I probably pick up after
31:5520 times a day are you average though oh right but can you imagine how often sherry has to pick up after
32:05her kids she runs a daycare center from her house and she has five kids of her own that's like 28 times an
32:10hour that's a lot my name is sherry I'm single mother of five kids never run my daycare you're in my home
32:20how are you how are you this space is pretty chaotic at times I try to create a clean space that's neat and
32:29tidy but I would say it's definitely a challenge it's kind of a eyesore to have a pack-and-play in the
32:41middle of like we're trying to watch TV I think I'm doing a good job balancing it all however I always
32:50feel this pull to try to please my own kids while at the same time serving the daycare kids I need to get
32:58help from Sabrina and Jen I would like my kids to be proud of the space I love the daycare to feel
33:03like they'd be proud of coming in here to learn every day all right sherry said to meet her in
33:08the back because the kids are back there oh yeah we get to see the kids so exciting whether you have
33:15a full house like sherry or you run a business out of your home it's really easy to get overwhelmed
33:20trying to organize your space cute neighborhood yeah when you're managing a space that has two
33:28separate functions it's really important to find a method that allows for practicality and simplicity
33:32and that's where we come in I know you want to be in my lap too how long have you had this daycare
33:44for seven years I started my daycare after the death of my dad and the layoff and my professional job I
33:51want to stay at home with the kids and also get back to my community you have kids of your own as
33:56well yes in addition to the daycare yes they range in age 17 17 16 13 and 8 you have your hands full we
34:03do it's a non-stop go go go it's always something to do I only have one daughter and sometimes I feel
34:10like I'm overwhelmed I couldn't imagine running a daycare with eight infants and having five kids
34:16that's a lot what space do you need help with I need help in my family room and daycare inside okay
34:21can we take a look yeah let's go we'll be right back okay guys we'll be right back she just gives
34:28gives gives gives so I'm so excited we're able to give back to her let's put all the stars back in
34:32the bucket is it through here yep right through here whoa is it through here yep right through here whoa
34:51all right kids welcome welcome welcome what is this room considered so this is our mud room but
35:03it's supposed to be my office your office your office yeah this is your office this is my house
35:08sherry I know in the process of taking care of everyone else sometimes it's like I'm kind of put to
35:13the bottom of the to-do list yeah this is where you like do paperwork where as long as I kind of like
35:19sit like wherever I can when I was researching my book I found a lot of stuff about the benefits
35:25of a messy desk people like Einstein for example very messy but sherry doesn't even have a desk where
35:30she can be messy there's not even a place for her to sit so this is all like paperwork that you need
35:35the files behind you that has all of our kids personal items so these are your business files yeah okay in
35:40and around in your business and personal maybe unfinished projects like I have a basket up here of like art
35:46project hours doing and then this is like mail and things like that that I've attempted to go
35:51through but I haven't got a chance to finish oh we've all got baskets like that now when you're
35:55working with a tiny space that has to hold a lot of items it can get really tricky to figure out where
36:00to store things and if you're somebody like sherry who works from home and has to organize a lot of
36:04paperwork a good tip is to use a scanning app on your phone you can scan all the important paperwork
36:09that you don't necessarily have to physically hold on to and then just keep the ones that must stay
36:13would you like to keep this your office like I have to share every space in the house so it's
36:17like my little zen space but I would like to be able to sit here and actually take care of business
36:23in this area as well and this space would be just for you just for me and a perfect world okay great
36:28can we look at the main room yeah let's go I like Zen room better than mud room I have to admit
36:33it's big this room is massive welcome to my humble abode so this is a daycare space yes this is our
36:41breakfast nook slash play space um our art table um we have those cubbies right behind you guys that's
36:47where we store our daycare kids stuff during the day yep um this is also doubles as my coffee table
36:53oh my gosh you know I love a multi-functional piece of furniture but I think we could do better
37:00than a daycare table doubling as a coffee table what's happening with the desk area well we have
37:06my computer here even though my office is down there we have our sections here for learning so we have
37:14like puzzles manipulatives blocks oh yeah there's all kinds of stuff do your kids play sports there's
37:21all these trophies here we're a track family nice that's awesome we run track we play football basketball
37:27you name it we do it you too you run well years ago okay I don't currently run but I run after them
37:34that's right you do run do you get any help from the kids for tidying like how are they with helping
37:39yeah are the kids helpful I think all of them try to be helpful in their own right but then it all
37:45falls back on me to figure it all out do you feel like the daycare stuff sort of overwhelming the
37:50definitely oh my goodness yeah that's my biggest problem is trying to combine the daycare in my
37:56personal life because when I first opened the daycare all the kids were little so it kind of all kind of
38:01blended together but now that the children are getting older I feel so guilty because my kids don't really
38:06have a space in this space because they're not comfortable in this space anymore so they voiced that
38:10concern to you definitely we see this dynamic a lot tensions can really start to build when you've got
38:16a shared space and there's one person or a group of people that start kind of taking over and then
38:21everyone else just feels pushed to the side and Sherry's kids resenting the daycare is just an extreme
38:25version of that this room has gotten away from you just because you're growing your business the kids
38:31are growing yeah you're super busy and there's just a lot of stuff that has to be in here we need to
38:37find a way to give the kids a space that's designated just for them in the living room so they have
38:41a feeling of ownership so they don't feel like they're just living in a daycare
38:45but you watch TV here with the kids too yes and we can the problem is that we don't have enough
38:50room for everyone to sit down so sometimes I'll just sit on the floor you sit on the floor I used
38:55to let them have the couch and I'll just sit on the floor everything you're doing is selfless yeah
39:00that's kind of like my heart is just always to help others and so that's kind of my why um then I feel
39:06bad that I can't make everyone happy I know but you're going to well and we're gonna make you happy
39:11I'm so excited as a mom you often feel guilty about so many things and you always feel like
39:17you cannot do enough for your kids so I'm so elated that finally I'm about to get some support
39:24that I need one of the things that we love to do especially in a space like this where there's so
39:27many people using it for so many different purposes is if it's okay with you we put in
39:32surveillance cameras we'll just take a little look at how you operate in the space how your kids
39:37operate in the space great because when we can visually see how all 14 people use this space
39:42we'll be able to come up with better solutions that are customized for you sure so that's okay
39:47yeah great all right and then we'll come back tomorrow and this place it's going to start
39:51coming together I'm so excited it's been a long time since I've met someone as deserving as Sherry is
39:57which is why it's really important for us to get the space to work for her and it's not going to be
40:01easy because this needs to be a multifunctional space where Sherry can run her daycare her kids can feel
40:06at home and Sherry has a place where she can relax yeah that's a lot of functionality for one space
40:16you've got a lot of work to do I'll see you tomorrow bye
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