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Will & Ralf Should Know Better Season 1 Episode 3
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00:00Only Will Mellor could be like, I know what we should do, strip.
00:13Go, go, go, go, go.
00:14I am sort of sitting here wondering quite how that's happened.
00:26This is Will.
00:28Oh, wow.
00:30And this is Ralph.
00:32Go!
00:33You got me!
00:34We've been mates for 20-odd years.
00:37Why did you have to hit me?
00:38Dunno.
00:39We might look like middle-aged blokes.
00:41Just make the tea.
00:43But really, we're just a pair of massive, noisy kids.
00:49Ralph, no!
00:51So what will it take for us to grow up?
00:53I hope that's your knee.
00:55Embrace modern life.
00:56Charging active, there you go.
00:58Boom!
00:59Better.
01:00Maturer.
01:01Stop it, men.
01:02What we learned today, if you squirt your bum all goes massive.
01:05This is not the enlightenment I was hoping for.
01:08You look so good.
01:09Fantastic man.
01:10Hey, I have a little bit of a bone to pick with you.
01:17With me?
01:18Yeah.
01:19Why?
01:20What have we done now?
01:21I've heard that there was once a vote on the UK's biggest male TV crushes and Henry Cavill
01:38came first and you came second.
01:40Sexy time.
01:41Sexy time.
01:42That was a good day for me.
01:43I'll never forget it.
01:44And I was like, how has that happened?
01:46Although, I will say, Jeremy Clarkson was also voted the UK's sexiest man.
01:50Exactly.
01:51So...
01:52By a survey for married people who wanted affairs.
01:54So you and Clarkson are right up there.
01:55So don't get carried away with yourself, basically.
01:57Do you know what I get a lot?
01:59I guess it's a compliment so I'll have it, but I never understand the qualification here.
02:02What?
02:03I get a lot.
02:04Don't know why, but I'm low-key vibing on how hot Ralph Little is.
02:08Or Ralph Little is my guilty crush.
02:11And I'm always a bit like, why can't you just say crush?
02:16I'll never forget the day, coming relief or something, and Amy Winehouse came running
02:21over to me and said she was a big fan of Two Pints.
02:24And she was like, my mate fencing you, but I fencing that fucking Ralph Little.
02:28Where is he?
02:29Where's Ralph?
02:30Where's Ralph Little?
02:31She loved you.
02:32I know, bless her.
02:33But the whole point is, beauty's in the eye of the beholder.
02:46Right, what's the plan?
02:47Well, I want to ask you this first before I tell you where we're going today.
02:51Oh, yeah.
02:52How do you feel about ageing?
02:55I always kind of thought that I wasn't going to.
02:58I'm the same.
02:59I know that sounds crazy.
03:00I'm in complete denial.
03:01But on some subconscious level, I think a part of me was a bit like, I'm not going to
03:06tell anyone this, but I think I might be the first human being in history that's not
03:09going to age.
03:11I'll be fine.
03:12I'll keep it to myself.
03:13What I'm talking about here is, like, facially.
03:16You mean appearance-wise?
03:17Appearance-wise.
03:18Do you do things to try and stop ageing to a certain extent?
03:22Not stop it, but prevent it.
03:23If I can remember slash be bothered, then I'll have a little moisturised.
03:27But that is so rare.
03:28I will dye my hair once every now and again, not to make it black.
03:31I actually quite like it a little bit grey.
03:33But I just don't want to go too grey too quickly.
03:36Does it make you feel better?
03:37Do you have an extra spring in your step?
03:39Do you know what?
03:40It's a good question.
03:41I actually think it doesn't.
03:43Well, where we're going today is a specialist skin clinic.
03:48I've been wanting to go and do this for a long time.
03:51Just to go and just to see, ask questions, you know what I mean?
03:54And these things that have bothered me.
03:56And I do look at myself now and think,
03:59You're getting older.
04:01And do you know what's hard as well for us?
04:04That two pints are still on repeat.
04:06So you can flick the TV on and go,
04:08There we are, 20 years younger.
04:09There's me at 22 years old, looking fresh as a daisy.
04:12You know, I can feel myself getting older, but I'm fighting it.
04:15And I'll be interested to see what they say.
04:18Whether, you know, there's things we can do.
04:20Yeah.
04:21Every day's a school day.
04:22Let's go and see what they've got.
04:23Let's see what they've got for us.
04:31This skin clinic specialises in non-surgical treatments
04:34and business is booming.
04:36Over 7 million people in the UK
04:38had aesthetic treatments in the last 12 months.
04:41My name is Kayla.
04:42Lovely to meet you.
04:45I'm just going to have a little bit more of a closer look
04:47on both of you.
04:48I'm going to just do some mapping out
04:50and just give my suggestions.
04:52In this area here, I think that you could benefit,
04:54even though I know you said you don't like injectables
04:56for some Botox, OK?
04:58And that would be three areas of Botox.
05:01There's loads of stuff you can have done.
05:03Whatever you fancy, you can have.
05:05You know, Botox, injections, skin peels.
05:09How old would you think I was by looking at my face?
05:11Just be honest.
05:12By looking at your face?
05:13By looking at your face?
05:14Mm.
05:15I would say...
05:1750...
05:1954?
05:20I am never coming here again.
05:30What about me?
05:32I would say for you, you're more 40...
05:3646?
05:37It's not bad.
05:3944?
05:4055?
05:41You look eight years old!
05:45What a kick in the bollocks that was.
05:47So she probably thinks I'm more 56 to 58.
05:49For you, Will, I can do the resurfacer
05:51and the microneedling treatment, which is...
05:54Sorry, what's the microneedling?
05:55So that's the titanium needles to damage the skin
05:58in order for your collagen and your elastin to rush to the surface.
06:01Ralph, what I was thinking is that we just do a gentle resurfacer,
06:05but then we pair it up with some dermaplaning.
06:07What's dermaplaning?
06:08An exfoliation treatment to just remove dead skin,
06:11the debris, the dirt.
06:13Just a razor blade.
06:14It's a scalpel.
06:16A scalpel?
06:17Mm-hmm.
06:18Things got real very quickly, but I was like,
06:20this isn't the little facial massage I was expecting.
06:23Oh, that's nice.
06:24OK, so I'm just going to start here, OK?
06:27I'm going to feel a slight little scrape.
06:32Oh, it feels quite nice, actually.
06:34Relaxing, right?
06:35Yeah, it is quite relaxing.
06:39Is it often you get men coming in for this kind of treatment?
06:42The past two years, I've had a lot more male clients come in.
06:46You know, they work outside, maybe roofers.
06:48Roofers?
06:49Yeah.
06:50I know it sounds strange, but you just wouldn't expect builders
06:52to care about their skin raising.
06:54Yeah, because they've been working for years without caring.
06:58You're actually shaving off a layer of skin.
07:01It's quite satisfying.
07:03Thanks, Carla.
07:04That was lovely.
07:05Yeah.
07:06Wait till you see your kite.
07:07It's like a mirror.
07:08Ah!
07:09I do look very shiny.
07:10I'm sure he could have had a kip.
07:12It looks proper chilled out.
07:14And I thought, well, that's not bad.
07:16Maybe mine will be the same.
07:23So, would you like to see it, Will?
07:24I don't know if you want to see it or not.
07:25Oh, you don't want to see that, mate.
07:27It's massive.
07:28Shut your face.
07:29That is terrifying.
07:30Ugh.
07:31So, we're just going to start a side in this corner.
07:33All right?
07:34So, we're going to go...
07:35Ah!
07:36Seriously?
07:37That's painful!
07:39What are you doing?
07:42What are you laughing at?
07:45Ah!
07:46That's really painful.
07:48Oh, mate.
07:49What are you doing to me?
07:51Sound just rolling on.
07:52Don't hold my hand like you're giving birth.
07:54Ralph, I can't move.
07:55Just breathe, darling.
07:56Breathe.
07:57Ah!
07:58Honestly, God!
07:59It was strangely comforting reaching out and having Ralph there when I was going through
08:02the pain.
08:03Ralph, it's really pain!
08:04I'm telling you, I'm not joking!
08:06The shrieking and screaming and sheer horror of it all with a tool that was that big that
08:12was being applied to his face.
08:13It was joyful.
08:14And you were on the smallest roller.
08:16You're on the smallest roller.
08:17Oh!
08:18Why would anyone come and pay for this to be done to themselves?
08:22Kayla is one of them people.
08:24Lovely.
08:25Smiley.
08:26You know, it leads you to a false sense of security and then sticks pins in your face
08:29and loves every second of it.
08:31There we go.
08:34Put your head back straight for me.
08:37Good stuff.
08:38You've got to go back and have that done every few weeks.
08:43I think I'm all right where I'm at.
08:45I'm going to stick with the moisturiser.
08:47Call me old fashioned, but that'll do.
08:49Oh my...
08:50Oh!
08:51Oh!
08:52Oh!
08:53Feels like I've been out in the sun without any sun cream for at least a day and burnt my
08:58face.
08:59No!
09:01That was lovely.
09:02Thanks, Kayla.
09:03Thanks, Kayla.
09:04You're very welcome.
09:05Where did you get your kicks?
09:06Casualty.
09:07How do you think that went?
09:22Did you learn anything?
09:23Did you enjoy it?
09:24I had a great time.
09:25I don't know how that went wrong.
09:28I thought, we'll get a facial here.
09:29You know what I mean?
09:30It'll be nice.
09:31Can we stop our ageing process a little bit?
09:33And all it ended up with, I got needles rolled into my face.
09:37That's all I've come away with.
09:39I didn't mind the dermaplaning, actually.
09:41And I was like, okay, great.
09:43So a load of dead skin came off the surface.
09:45Wasn't I protecting my face?
09:46Have I not just now got an exposed face and just a load more shit's going to...
09:49Do you know what I related to when I had my kitchen done in my house?
09:52This is why, because you have your kitchen done and then everything else looks shit.
09:57It's true, isn't it?
09:58You go, kitchen looks dead modern and new.
10:00Then you look around the arsey house and you go, well, that looks all tired and old now,
10:03so I'll have to do that.
10:04And I think that's the same.
10:05Maybe the house that had character before you did the kitchen.
10:07But there you go.
10:08Here's a funny story about getting older.
10:23My mum obviously got worried.
10:26And a few months ago, out of nowhere, she sent me and my siblings this text.
10:31The message I shall send...
10:33Why is it so formal?
10:34The message I shall send will be a standard one saying, I'm still alive.
10:40You won't need to answer it.
10:43It's just current information.
10:44So does she message every day?
10:46What are you laughing at?
10:48I'm still alive, mum.
10:51I'm still alive, mum.
10:52I'm still alive, mum.
10:53I'm still alive, mum.
10:54Does she ever forget?
10:55All the time.
10:56Well, so what do you do?
10:57Just leave it.
10:58You can't...
11:00You can't...
11:01The whole point is you don't ignore it.
11:03Well, it's not like she texts every day at the same time.
11:06If you wake up and you go, ping, 11am,
11:08oh, I've got my arm still alive text, mum's all good, then that's fine.
11:11But sometimes it's at different times during the day.
11:14Sometimes she forgets.
11:16Wait, hang on.
11:17There's something that says to me here that you don't call your mum enough.
11:21Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, she just stopped texting.
11:24I want to know how many days went by before you checked on her.
11:27Well, what happened was somebody said to me,
11:30is your mum still texting you?
11:32And I went...
11:33Oh.
11:34No, she hasn't texted for a couple of weeks.
11:37Oh, my God.
11:39You're not getting the point.
11:41She was trying to nudge you to say, ring me more or message me more.
11:44I know.
11:45I know.
11:46You'll be old one day and you'll be lonely
11:48and you'll be on your PlayStation and I won't care.
11:51So what am I talking about?
11:52I was about to say you'll miss people but you won't give a shit.
11:54Good morning.
11:55Taking a sec off your skin.
11:57I was struggling to tell you where I have been.
12:00Cause I've been riding around.
12:03We're heading to Eastbourne, a town with one of the oldest populations in the country,
12:07to experience what it feels like physically to be old.
12:11The idea is we're going to see what it's like, you know, when you can't move,
12:16you don't have the same amount of mobility when your joints are aching a little bit.
12:20Yeah.
12:21And this seemed like the right place to do it.
12:22Like, you see old people now.
12:24Do you know when they're bent over and they're like that and they're just looking at the floor.
12:27It's like you've dropped to 50p and you can't find it.
12:29I never want to look like that.
12:31But there's a place in Eastbourne where the average age was 71.
12:34That's the average.
12:35We'd be like young pups.
12:37We'd walk down the street and everyone would be like,
12:40We could be strutting.
12:41I'll take that Zimmer frame, thank you.
12:44I'll take it from here.
12:48What are you doing?
12:49It's the next step that worries me.
12:51You've taken the Zimmer frame.
12:53I was just going to help across the road.
12:55Leave your mind in the gutter.
13:06To test what domestic life is like for an older person,
13:09we've hired a cottage for the day.
13:12Here we go.
13:14Ah, the ceilings are a bit low, aren't they?
13:16Well, you complain like 95.
13:19I'm just saying.
13:20Also, you made a very loud noise as you sat down.
13:22Did you notice?
13:23I did.
13:24I think I'm already old.
13:25I did.
13:26What's this?
13:27Are we doing some SES training?
13:28These are, like, suits that have been developed
13:31to be able to research and provide empathy training
13:34for people who, say, work in care homes and whatever,
13:37to be able to understand what it is like for residents
13:39and for the sensation of someone's body feeling old.
13:42You've got, like, weighted suits,
13:44so everything feels a little heavier.
13:46You've got goggles that simulate different...
13:49Tell me that's my vision when I get old.
13:51Well, that's supposed to simulate glaucoma.
13:53You've got macular degeneration,
13:54which I've got in my family.
13:55Surely not.
13:56You look very cool, though.
13:58Yeah, but you can't watch telly.
14:00So we put these on and just see how it's going to feel.
14:03First thing, knee brace goes on.
14:06It's got spikes in it!
14:08Is that the wrong way round?
14:09It's like a torture thing.
14:10You're supposed to roll it on your face, I think.
14:12It makes you look...
14:13Look at them!
14:14That's supposed to stab into my knee?
14:16Yeah, mate.
14:17I think that's the idea.
14:18The idea is everything, like, hurts a little bit
14:20and is uncomfortable.
14:21You must be joking.
14:23Mate, get it on your knee.
14:24Ah!
14:25Sit on, Ralph.
14:26I'm serious.
14:27That's really painful.
14:28Right.
14:29That'll do.
14:30I don't need anything else on.
14:32I'm serious.
14:33Get up.
14:34Oh, my God.
14:39Why are you walking like a question mark all of a sudden?
14:42Remember them people I said look like they're looking for a 50p?
14:44Yeah, now you know why.
14:45I've turned into one of them.
14:46Yeah.
14:47Look at these shoes.
14:48I feel like you need help.
14:49They're never going to take off.
14:50Why's my tongue starting at all?
14:54Why is your tongue out?
14:56Wrist them.
15:01Wrist straps.
15:02Are all people's wrists that heavy?
15:04I think the idea is to simulate that you've lost muscle mass
15:07and so your wrists feel heavier.
15:09Get me that body on.
15:10Oh, Will.
15:11It's heavy.
15:12Is it?
15:23Have a little walk around.
15:25Fucking hell.
15:27I'm serious.
15:28I'm not joking.
15:29I'm not joking.
15:30I'm serious.
15:31This is ridiculous.
15:32This makes me feel isolated because I can't hear very well other than my own voice.
15:37I can't see very well.
15:38Every time I lift up my arm, it's an effort.
15:40Pressure on my chest.
15:42You really are sitting like my granddad used to sit.
15:45Ralph, wait until you feel how this feels.
15:47Well, we do have a little extra something.
15:49What?
15:50I can't hear a word you're saying.
15:52It's what?
15:53Everything's okay.
15:54Just put these lovely warm gloves on.
15:56This is going to simulate what it's like.
15:57Do what?
15:58This is going to simulate what it's like for your hair, if you've got sort of arthritis,
16:01your hands to be trembling and how difficult it is to do stuff.
16:07So, I don't even know how you do this.
16:11Ah!
16:12Shut him off!
16:13You fucking nubbit!
16:14What was that?
16:15I've got a shock!
16:17You dickhead!
16:18So I'm just going to increase it very slightly.
16:21Look at your trembling hands.
16:24Try a little bit more.
16:25Ah!
16:26That's enough!
16:27Okay.
16:28Not having control of your hands is something you take for granted.
16:31You know, imagine just doing a simple thing and your hands just shaking constantly and
16:35you can't stop it.
16:36It's awful.
16:37Right.
16:38Shall we make a cup of tea?
16:39What?
16:40Let's make a cup of tea!
16:41I've dropped my stick.
16:42I'll get your stick for you.
16:44I'll get it.
16:45I'm not too old to do things for myself.
16:47Come on.
16:48Hold on.
16:49I'll help you up.
16:51See how heavy I am?
16:53It's so heavy.
16:54I'm like a dead weight.
16:58Okay.
16:59Come on, through to the kitchen.
17:00Come on.
17:04Wow.
17:05Okay.
17:06Can you open that for me?
17:07Obviously, jokes aside, the idea of all this technology is for empathy training to see
17:12how hard it is for people and how hard it can be.
17:15Like, simple tasks like this.
17:17Yeah?
17:18See?
17:19I should turn it up a bit.
17:20Fuck off.
17:21You don't mind if I make it straight in the cup instead of in the teapot?
17:24Yeah?
17:25No, cup's fine.
17:26Okay.
17:27Right you are.
17:28God, this is so weird.
17:29It's like you, my carer.
17:31In certain respects, I've felt like that for about 20 years anyway, so it wasn't that much
17:35of a stretch.
17:36It was kind of same old, same old, but he was actually more manageable.
17:39Do you want to grab the tray?
17:43Where are we going with it?
17:44Okay.
17:45Turn around.
17:46Back to where we came from.
17:48Fucking hell.
17:51Ralph!
17:52Ralph!
17:53You're fucking nothing!
17:54There's snot and everything coming out my nose.
17:55Right, can I sit down?
17:56You can always trust in Ralph, making sure it's realistic.
17:57Turned it up, didn't he?
17:58Dickhead.
17:59And I couldn't hold the tray anymore.
18:00It's a bit slippery though, so be careful.
18:01Watch out, I'll help you.
18:02When I first turned it on, I didn't realise how powerful it was, and I turned it down.
18:14But apart from that, I genuinely just, like, dialed it incrementally.
18:18Admittedly, when he was shaking with the tea, I was like, I think I'm just going to have
18:22to just dial it up that little bit extra.
18:27Oh, that sit down was lovely.
18:29Well, this has been a lovely visit.
18:31It's off.
18:32Don't come back.
18:34Get your gear on, we'll have a walk.
18:37It's ridiculous, isn't it?
18:39It's awful.
18:40Do you know when I set this off?
18:41I hope I feel like...
18:42Oh, no.
18:43You've got to get that, though.
18:50Where's your neck brace?
18:51I don't know.
18:52Why are you pulling it off?
18:54I can't see.
18:55Oh, it doesn't make you pull that face.
19:00Do you know what?
19:02I'm suddenly like, I need to get on with having kids soon, because I need someone to be able
19:06to dress me.
19:07If this was your life, what do you love doing in life that you would miss the most?
19:13Obviously, I love playing football.
19:14I'm not going to be able to do that.
19:16Everything.
19:17What could you do?
19:18You can't even see the screen to play your PlayStation.
19:20Honestly, everything.
19:21Let's see what it's like going outside, though.
19:23Come on.
19:24See?
19:25Now, could you play walking football like this?
19:27I'm not even sure I could play walking.
19:28First time in my entire life I've seen a bowling gun, don't fancy that.
19:34Come on.
19:35On your head.
19:36Come on.
19:37On your head.
19:38I told you I'd shake my mind.
19:43You're fucking done.
19:48Yeah, I've got a lot of time for them walking footballers.
19:51They're fitness fanatics in my eyes.
19:55If I'm trying to play walking football with all the will in the world, and my body's in
20:04the state it's been simulated today, I don't know.
20:07It's very easy to blithely say, oh, yeah, that's what I'm going to do, but it is not
20:11that simple.
20:12Mate, honestly, my back is killing.
20:17If only everyone could experience wearing a suit like this for 10 minutes of their life
20:21and go, wow, okay, I've got some real understanding of what things can be like for people.
20:25It really is a game changer.
20:27And then old people are looking at us like they feel sorry for us.
20:46I know.
20:47Do you know how I feel?
20:49Pissed off.
20:50Yes, so do I.
20:51I just think I want to hit everyone when we walk instead.
20:54Yeah, I totally get it.
20:55I've got a lot of time for old people.
20:57They've been through a lot.
20:59They know a lot.
21:00And they can't be bothered being polite anymore.
21:02Hey, while we're here, why don't we try doing a bit of fishing off the pay?
21:08How much effort does it take?
21:10Well, the pay's up there.
21:12Come on.
21:14Don't touch me.
21:15Hey.
21:16Just let me finish my tea.
21:17Just give me a minute.
21:19You're an old source.
21:20Come on.
21:21Oh, I see.
21:23We're developing a sort of a little lambeth walk, aren't we?
21:26All right.
21:27All right, sweethearts.
21:30Still got an head in the old pencil.
21:32Oh, it feels a bit better stood upright.
21:34It kind of does.
21:36Fucking knobhead.
21:38Absolute dick.
21:40He knocked my walking stick from underneath me just as I had my weight on it.
21:43That's dangerous.
21:44You know what it's like for an old person?
21:46A fall is a big thing.
21:47Sometimes you don't come back from a fall.
21:49I was there on the floor.
21:50I was like an upturned turtle.
21:52Tits.
21:55Because I can't actually really see much.
21:58So I just saw his walking stick there.
22:00And I just playfully hit it with my stick.
22:02So then when he just went over, I was like, oh, dear.
22:08Great dollar bills.
22:10Slip your head, little man.
22:12Anything you want to compliment.
22:14How do?
22:15This is Ralph.
22:16Hi, mate.
22:17This old bastard here.
22:18Hello, son.
22:19Hello, Ralph.
22:20Hello, young man.
22:21I love fishing, but I want to see if I can still do it feeling like this.
22:24Is this going to hit me in the face?
22:27Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.
22:28I have no idea what happened there.
22:29We're fishing.
22:30What?
22:31You can have a go.
22:32What do I do?
22:33Reel it in.
22:34That's it.
22:37You got a crab.
22:38Swing it in.
22:39Swing it in.
22:40It's a massive crab.
22:41Best part of the day, we can still fish.
22:44I wouldn't have been able to put a hook on.
22:47That would have been tough.
22:48But if someone could set it up for me,
22:50at least I could sit by a lake and just be at one with nature.
22:54It doesn't feel good losing the things that you take for granted even.
22:58Stay mobile and grab life while you can.
23:01That's my message for the day, from old man Mellor.
23:04You fish.
23:05I'm going to have a lovely sit down.
23:08Are we done?
23:10Thank Christ for that.
23:12Oh, my God.
23:13Colours.
23:14Vibrancy.
23:17Oh, I can hear.
23:18That was...
23:19That was legitimately tough.
23:22Like, no jokes.
23:23I found that quite affecting.
23:24That was quite a profound experience.
23:27I'm going to take a lot from that.
23:31Yeah.
23:33Yeah.
23:34Right, let's get this off.
23:38After the profound experience of life as an 80-year-old,
23:41it felt like we deserved to explore the livelier side of life in this old town.
23:46I mean, what could the nightlife be in Eastbourne?
23:49There's got to be somewhere where they have a bit of music, a bit of dancing.
23:53You know, we can go and see if we can turn some heads.
23:56You can throw some shapes, can't you?
23:57I still throw some shapes.
23:58I reckon I can turn a lady's eye or two.
24:00Let's go out dancing like the old days and see what we come up with.
24:03One, two, three.
24:06One, two, three.
24:07One, two, three.
24:08One, two, three.
24:09One, two, three.
24:10The newspaper shout.
24:11Sarah runs a popular ballroom dance class in Eastbourne,
24:15with many of her regulars over 70.
24:17Two, three, have you come to join in?
24:18Yes.
24:19I'll find you two ladies to dance with.
24:21There is fashion, there is fact.
24:24Some is good, some is bad.
24:28And the joke feels rather sad.
24:31That it all gets a little bitter.
24:34Here we go.
24:35I'm Will.
24:36Here we go.
24:37You doing all right?
24:38Linda.
24:39Linda, yeah.
24:40Right, they will show you some basics just to dance around the room
24:42if you want to have a little go.
24:43We turned?
24:44Right.
24:45Yeah, you turn me if you want to.
24:46Lovely.
24:47Keep going round.
24:48Oh, I forgot.
24:49I lost it, I lost it.
24:50One, two.
24:51Little rise and fall.
24:52Two, three.
24:53Then around the corner.
24:54Two, three.
24:55There we go.
24:56There you go.
24:57Two, three, and one.
24:58I'm sorry.
24:59It's the only dance I didn't do as strictly was this one.
25:01Oh, all over the place.
25:02Next action.
25:03Keep standing on my feet.
25:05So it's cha-cha.
25:07One, two, cha-cha-cha.
25:11Turn around.
25:13Two.
25:14I tickled you.
25:15You flounce.
25:16You're a proper flounce.
25:18You're doing all right.
25:19For the first time.
25:20It's cool.
25:21Don't worry.
25:22Don't give him ammunition.
25:23Well, you come upstairs, but not the top.
25:26You stay a little wide, and you do a little walk on home.
25:33I hear you downstairs smoking cigarettes.
25:35I hear you talk of shit, cause you ain't got nothing to talk about at all.
25:40Oh, good.
25:41We got it, Linda.
25:42We're cooking here, Mella.
25:43Right.
25:44Well done.
25:45That was pretty good.
25:46That was really, really good.
25:47Really good.
25:48We did say, let's go out and meet some ladies in Eastbourne and have a little bit of a dance
25:55with them.
25:56Yeah.
25:57And I feel like this has gone better than we ever could have hoped.
25:59Look how happy you are.
26:00You were miserable when you turned off after them old suits.
26:01When I get home, I'm going to be like, I might just do a few classes.
26:02Is this a way to not feel too old when you're getting all that?
26:03You know what?
26:04We've had old suits on today.
26:05How are you going to feel in your 80s and 90s?
26:06And it made us feel a bit like, oh, this must be really hard.
26:07But then you come here.
26:08We feel alive.
26:09Yeah.
26:10Yeah.
26:11Yeah.
26:12But the dancers become part of the family, really.
26:13Yeah.
26:14They're the same people come along each week.
26:15And we have our little, little dance parties, don't we?
26:16Yeah, we do.
26:17It's got to be good for people to have someone to look forward to.
26:19Because sometimes you can get isolated and not have many friends.
26:22And this is must be a little dance party.
26:24Yeah.
26:25Yeah.
26:26Yeah.
26:27Yeah.
26:28Yeah.
26:29Yeah.
26:30Yeah.
26:31Yeah.
26:32Yeah.
26:33Yeah.
26:34Yeah.
26:35And you've also been invited and not have many friends.
26:36Oh, so.
26:37So, yeah.
26:38So, yeah.
26:39This must be a way to meet people.
26:40Does this work for you?
26:41It does.
26:42I've done ballroom for about 10 years, but before that, my career was a ballet dancer.
26:43Oh, wow.
26:44How about you, Linda?
26:45How long have you been doing this?
26:46I...
26:47I...I heard you do this to meet younger men.
26:48The secret's out.
26:49How long have you been doing this for?
26:51Oh, I've been doing it probably 15, started with salsa, and then moved on to ballroom, and
26:57it's just a joy.
26:58Thank you very much.
26:59Nice to meet you, ladies.
27:00Yes.
27:01Thanks for your time.
27:02Thank you so much.
27:03It's been lovely. Lovely to meet you. Nice to meet you. Thank you very much. Did you hear that? Will? What?
27:09Sarah just said keep doing it Ralph. You're good. I'm just saying that's what she's saying. Keep doing it Ralph. Thank you.
27:13You picked it up so fast. He did, yes. Linda, let's just wait till the camera goes off, but then just give me a number, yeah?
27:19No. You'll talk.
27:20Oh, and this is not cheap enough for you. I want to spell. Oh, is it nice, isn't it? Look at this.
27:33Beautiful. Does getting old frighten you? I just don't think about it. I just go, what am I doing today, this week, this year?
27:42I think if I ever did have kids, suddenly you're able to measure your life by, like, they'll be 10, 15, 18, and suddenly I'll be like, oh, I'll be this age by the time they're this age.
27:53Yeah, that's what I do. My mum's 80 in September, and a few years ago she had a stroke, and she actually recovered
28:02physically very well because she was fit, but I think she's lost a little bit of her social confidence.
28:10I think you said that your dad was similar in a way. Yeah, he just wouldn't, didn't want to go out anymore, and just became more and more insolent.
28:17We used to go and play darts every week, and he stopped doing that. His world just became smaller and smaller and smaller.
28:23Yeah. And then he just ended up being quite depressed and not going out. I wonder if that's going to happen to us.
28:29Well, I was about to say, I don't want to sit here at 44 and be so, like, kind of dismissive as to go, oh, that'll never happen to me.
28:36Because it's obviously a thing that can happen. I hope, as I start to get older and reach those sort of ages, I hope that I've got it in me to kind of almost remember this conversation and this attitude and go, keep, keep being out in the world, keep being active, keep doing it.
28:52I think that's what you should always do and keep doing it. And I think that was what my dad's problem was, is, and I sent in this song, it's called Don't Let The Old Man In, and it made me cry because it made me think of me dad.
29:03And I thought, he's letting the old man in, and once you've let him in, it's over. And he died not so long after. You know what I mean? You want to see more life, you know, keep your social if you can.
29:14Exactly. Keep your friends and keep going out. That's it. That's it.
29:19Don't let the old man in. I won't let me so long. Can't leave it up to you.
29:33He's knocking on my door.
29:39Sort of says it all, doesn't it?
29:43I do prefer the Backstreet Boys version.
29:49Look at your willow and smile.
29:54Don't let the old man in.
29:56Don't let the old man in.
29:57Don't let the old man in.
30:03We've been exploring what getting old is going to mean.
30:10We've discovered that trying to look younger can hurt.
30:13What are you laughing at?
30:15That's really painful.
30:17And that being old is also really painful.
30:20Shut him off!
30:21You fucking nabbit!
30:22But is there a way not to let the old man in?
30:28Right then, got a bit of a surprise for you.
30:31I've sorted out for us to be on stage with the Dream Boys.
30:41Do you know the dance group?
30:42Yeah, I know what the Dream Boys are.
30:44The Dream Boys are a male strip troupe.
30:48They've been going for nearly 40 years
30:50and travelled the world performing over 600 shows a year.
30:53This is a massive test for us
30:55to see if we can conquer our middle-age hang-ups
30:58and join them on stage for one night only.
31:01Come on!
31:01All we've got to do is dance about a bit.
31:03You can dance.
31:04Let's see if we've still got it.
31:05At our age.
31:06No-one's going to be looking at us.
31:08Are you insane?
31:09They'll all be 23?
31:11I've invited my wife.
31:12Michelle's coming.
31:14No, she's bringing a couple of mates
31:15cos I said it'll be fun, like, if you want to come down.
31:17She's going to be like that going.
31:19That's what I could have had.
31:19Maybe I should trade out for a younger model.
31:22I'll tell you what we'll do.
31:23Right, we'll go in, learn a bit of a routine,
31:25and if we don't want to do it, you don't do it.
31:27I think it's good to test yourself, Ralph,
31:28and just to see...
31:30I'll never forgive you for this.
31:40Well, let's go see what the choreography is like,
31:42and then we'll go from there.
31:46Hello!
31:47Hello, guys.
31:48I'm Will.
31:49Hello, Jordan.
31:50Hey, Jordan.
31:50Ralph, nice to meet you.
31:52Jason, how are you doing?
31:53Choreographer.
31:54I am the choreographer and director.
31:56Welcome.
31:57Jordan has been with the troupe for ten years.
31:59He started as a dancer in the West End
32:01and is now the boss of over 100 Dream Boys internationally.
32:05We should get you prepared,
32:07get you in the right headspace,
32:09get you learning some moves,
32:11and then shall we leave it up to you
32:13on how comfortable and how far you can take it?
32:16Because we will be in front of a live audience,
32:19and I'm not going to lie, no pressure, but they're animals.
32:22We do go full nude and do the full Monty in our show as well.
32:25Just one second.
32:27Yeah.
32:27I've gone into this a bit blind.
32:32I didn't know they got their dicks out.
32:33I've invited my wife.
32:35Why have I done that?
32:36Is it part of their, you know, like...
32:39Are you asking if they've got big dicks?
32:41Have they got big dicks?
32:42Well, we've never had a complaint saying it's too small, so...
32:46Well, tonight's the night.
32:47And I don't feel like I was ever really consulted on this,
32:53but it appears that somehow we are going to be removing all of our clothes.
32:57I am sort of sitting here wondering quite how that's happened.
32:59We do use certain tricks, like a penis pump and a tie-off to get you rather aroused and pumped off.
33:06So, let's say we wouldn't be on stage wrangling our flaccid penis about.
33:12It's actually very difficult.
33:14And then within that, you've got to learn how to move with it and do choreography and dance with it.
33:18So, it's a very strategic, very finite process just to take your clothes off.
33:23Honestly, there's not a lot of time.
33:25No, no.
33:25You've got to be ready.
33:26And we are live on stage.
33:27We've got to be ready tonight.
33:28You are live on stage.
33:29Not tonight, in a few hours.
33:31I'm dreading going on stage.
33:33We are not to dream, boys.
33:35I'm going to give it my best shot.
33:37Are we going to take it off?
33:39Are we going to take it off?
33:40No, we're not.
33:41Yes, we are.
33:42Well, we've got a shirt.
33:43We want to take it off stage.
33:45We throw it off.
33:46Three, four.
33:47Four, five.
33:48Six, five, six, and one some more.
33:49Oh, all extension.
33:50Six, six, seven, eight.
33:55Pose, pose, pose, pose.
33:57We all join in on the go.
33:59Good guitar.
34:00Go again.
34:01What's this about?
34:03It's a dance class.
34:05Honestly, we'll go on stage.
34:06We'll go, hey.
34:08I didn't really know it was going to be this much.
34:11There's a choreographer.
34:12You take it really seriously.
34:13And the one thing as well is,
34:15they're paying to see this.
34:17So we can't fuck this up.
34:18Oh, that's weird.
34:20And right, two, three, four, down and serenade.
34:24Oh, my God.
34:25What have we got ourselves in for here?
34:26Suddenly, yeah, no shit.
34:30Is that what's done?
34:31No.
34:32Fuck.
34:32You're nowhere near naked enough.
34:35I'll strip down to your underwear.
34:38What now?
34:38Right.
34:41You've changed your bleeding chin.
34:43Well, we're here now, aren't we?
34:44What's the point in messing about?
34:45Socks as well.
34:46Good to hear me.
34:48All the way?
34:50No, only joking.
34:51All the way to the show.
34:53That is the hardest bit out of the way.
34:55Well done.
34:56How do you feel standing with two strange men in a room you've just met?
35:01I wish I'd put a new advance on.
35:03We know all this.
35:03We know all this.
35:04Ba-da-ba-boom-ba-boom.
35:05All this.
35:05We know all this.
35:06We know all this.
35:06You might know all this.
35:07All this.
35:07You know all this.
35:09You get your trousers, yeah?
35:11And you're going to slowly put it down.
35:14Shake your bum a little bit.
35:15Right now.
35:16It's not a good arse, Ralph.
35:16Get it out.
35:17Oh, there it is.
35:18If you're nervous on stage, how do you come back out and make that sexy?
35:21Humor is just as sexy as sexy.
35:24You can make your partner laugh, and then it doesn't matter how sexy you actually are.
35:28It brings that connection throughout the show.
35:30You're trading on that for 30-odd years.
35:31Yeah, exactly.
35:32You'll definitely be fucking awful.
35:33You know better than most, right?
35:35How old is your oldest?
35:37Jason here, who will also be helping out, is...
35:4027.
35:40Yeah, and I am 40.
35:42Right.
35:42So we have very much an everywhere in between.
35:45We have to look good all throughout the week.
35:47It's like our life.
35:48We live it.
35:49Right.
35:50I'm pale.
35:51Fake time king.
35:51I have to fake time once a week.
35:53Yeah.
35:53What about?
35:53What about hair?
35:54Body hair?
35:55Whatever you're comfortable with is in the eye beholder, right?
35:58So we're all different shapes, colours and sizes.
36:00Some people are shaved.
36:01Some people are hairy as hell.
36:02People find other people attractive.
36:04If we was all one carbon copy of each other, what a boring show it would be.
36:08True.
36:08Despite all that, safely say that the one thing that's universally attractive is...
36:12Hairy arse.
36:13You've got to find a fine line.
36:15You don't want to be too cocky, because they don't find that sexy.
36:17But you don't want to be too shy.
36:19They don't want to find that sexy.
36:20Shave your bum all.
36:21There's a few things that we have to remember.
36:25Trim up life, do you know what I mean?
36:26How you would feel comfortable in being completely naked on stage in front of a bunch of people.
36:32I see you, baby.
36:34Nice to meet you.
36:35Well, that's very nice.
36:36Well, that's all over there.
36:38Our new members of the team for this evening.
36:41So, show them some love and support as we do.
36:44You'll feel a little bit more comfortable with everyone around you knowing what we're doing.
36:48Time is fast approaching, so let's just get on with it.
36:50Let's do it.
36:51OK.
36:51One, two, three, and one, and one, two, three, and one, two, three, and one, two, three, and one, two, three, and one.
36:59Just as a surprise, I might go like that.
37:01Yeah, both of us.
37:02Yeah.
37:03I just get completely carried away.
37:05Fucking hell, it fits a bit fucking tight.
37:07All right, mate.
37:08They look good, though.
37:09Nice.
37:10You're working with some package there, aren't you, fella?
37:12I've got some fix, haven't you?
37:13It wasn't long ago when I had loads of lines drawn on my face, and I was told to look 54, and I was worried about a few little creases and all that.
37:22Now, I'm about to go on stage in front of a theatre full of women, almost naked.
37:28So naked, in fact, there's a final bit of essential prep to do.
37:33Can I get you a drink of anything?
37:34Just give us a minute.
37:36Just give us a sec.
37:37I haven't cut the tea.
37:38Wait, are you?
37:40Yeah.
37:41Time is money, so don't fuck my mind.
37:43Seein' up with my girls, I'ma have a good time.
37:48Step back, we should check on my vibe.
37:51Wow.
37:52I just have lots of gavoscope.
37:54I don't think that's a normal thing for these boys.
37:57Now, Dream Boys on three, boys.
37:59One, two, three.
37:59Dream Boys!
38:00Yes!
38:01Yes!
38:02Let's go!
38:03Good luck, good luck, boys.
38:10Why do we do these things?
38:11Are you shitting yourself?
38:14I'm shitting myself.
38:14We're not even on till after the interval.
38:16No, I know, but it's just the anticipation, innit?
38:18I want your body, everybody, because your body's a mistake, a mistake.
38:24I want your body, everybody, because your body's a mistake.
38:30I don't know why I've invited Michelle, my wife.
38:34I don't know.
38:34I think she'll have a great time.
38:41She's going to realise she's got some regular old crackers tonight.
38:44She's going to go, hang on, there's this out there.
38:47I've gone wrong, haven't I, somewhere.
38:48That's who's going to think.
38:49Only Will Mellor could be like, I know what we should do.
39:05Strip.
39:06Go, go, go, go.
39:08After just two hours of rehearsal, it was time for us to take centre stage.
39:23Literally when the music came on and Will walked out, okay, we're actually doing this.
39:29Oh, God.
39:30Well, too late now.
39:31I have just lost my shit.
39:39I have my own little moment.
39:41I don't know what I did.
39:42It was like a blur.
39:43I just thought, throw your hips about.
39:44Do this.
39:45Do that.
39:45Oh, it's a nice day to start again.
39:53It's a nice day to start again.
39:57If anyone's ever been on stage, you're nervous, but when you're right on the edge,
40:00there's no better feeling than that.
40:14It's such an adrenaline rush, and people are going, whoo, cheering.
40:17It's just like, yeah, here we go.
40:20And Will, you know, he's a funny one, because he was really kind of anxious,
40:23and you could see his anxiety all day.
40:25It's just such a consummate performer.
40:28Crowd's just like, loves him.
40:30He's so good.
40:31Call me just wants to put my arms around him and go,
40:33what are you worried about?
40:34They love you.
40:36Yes, baby!
40:39Yes, baby!
40:53Yes, baby!
41:18Oh
41:28That was just unbelievable
41:41Why do we think to bring anything on to change into after I was covering the ball still see you did it
41:49You ever you ever need to drop
41:53Where are you next writer?
41:56Wow, right
42:18I
42:23It's funny I've spoke before about my dad losing his confidence and Ralph talks about his mom losing lose her confidence and
42:30And as you get older suppose, you know, you do lose your confidence a little bit
42:34But you have to try and battle that as much as you can you have to
42:38and do things that frighten you and
42:40You know, it's either one day or day one. That's your life. Don't wait. Do it
42:47This is me in me up pants yesterday
42:49Sometimes I feel I've got to
42:53Run away
42:55You've got to
42:56Get away
42:57From the pain
42:58I'm driving to
43:00On me
43:02The light we shout
43:04Seems to go
43:05No way
43:06No way
43:07No
43:08Fucking hell
43:09You bastard
43:10No
43:11Fucking hell
43:12You made it up
43:13Can I step out for a minute?
43:14You made it
43:15Of course
43:16He's going up with me
43:17That looked quite high
43:18Two
43:19One
43:20Go
43:21This tainted love you've given
43:25I give you all a boy could give you
43:28Take my tears and that's not nearly all
43:33Tainted love
43:35Tainted love
43:38Now I know I've got to
43:42Run away
43:43Run away
43:44I've got to
43:46Get away
43:47You don't really want
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