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Will & Ralf Should Know Better Season 1 Episode 2
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FunTranscript
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00:19What was that?
00:20No, .
00:21What was that?
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00:34It's .
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00:42Oh, wow.
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00:45And this is Ralph.
00:46Go, you've got me.
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00:49.
00:50.
00:5170 odd years.
00:52.
00:53.
00:55So what will it take for us to grow up?
00:56I hope that's your knee.
00:57that's your knee embrace modern life charging active there you go boom and become better
01:03maturer stop it men what we learned today if you squat your bum all goes massive
01:09this is not the enlightened but now it's helping
01:10oh no just give us a minute just give us a sec
01:30please say a search term a s nine one six e n
01:47please give me a search term fuck off
01:51where are we going okay so we're on our way to an eco village what is an eco village well the
02:05idea never heard of one of my life stripping life down to its basics um no tv i guess no phones
02:12trying to sort of live off the land but you know what it's like if you've not got your mobile phone
02:16for an hour two hours or whatever you panic you're like oh no in your pockets yeah and it's like
02:21it's like withdrawals it's and it's bad that's bad i bet if maybe your kids were in the car with you
02:26now they'd just be on my phones 100 yeah listen we have to we had to have a battle that i ban
02:31phones from when we go out for dinner are you hungry i'm starving no i am starving i'm not
02:36anything to eat i'm taking you for a nice meal i was actually going to say should we stop off and
02:40get some on the way you're going to love this this is like very sustainable very good for the
02:51environment i'm hungry all right yeah very healthy will you yeah well hi chaps how are you
03:00what's that so you've got whole roasted crickets uh that have been glazed in maple syrup
03:06you said crickets yeah they are crickets yeah
03:10you my friend are sitting in an edible insect restaurant smells good i hope you get it's your
03:16fault you brought me i feel like i'm gonna be good but i'm looking forward to seeing how you go all
03:20right three two one how is it it's all right yeah it's nice ain't it you didn't do it oh they're delicious
03:35do you know what they have to taste is a bit prickety yeah a bit dusty it's got a bit of a dust to it
03:40actually that is it it is roasted so it's it is dry 80 of the countries in the world already
03:48insects as part of their regular diet come on don't tell me someone's going should you go out for
03:53dinner tonight love what what we're going we're going to eat some bugs we're going to get a big pile
03:57of flies and worms no you know i love going out for dinner i just don't think i'd ever go oh i'll tell
04:05you what you'll get some maggots on toast fly salad
04:11i've got a wing in my teeth don't seriously well you've got some cricket brisket tacos there
04:23why do you like you've been electrocuted nice meat to taco
04:39i don't think you'd ever know the difference i would never know the difference no but i do
04:42there's a sign over there it's interesting it says how many kilograms of carbon dioxide have
04:49you saved tonight by eating insects versus beef and it says about 10 kilograms which is the equivalent
04:55of driving from here in north london to yorkshire that's unbelievable yeah that was lovely glad to
05:02hear it thank you for the experience do you know what it was an eye-opener for me um and i've realized
05:07it's it's it's what's what's going on up here just perception perception yeah yeah it's actually
05:11quite delicious i've learned something that's wicked every day's a school day yeah that's it
05:23i got a badge oh you should have asked him to give you a lollipop yes maybe a lollipop made
05:28of crickets i'm quite simple me i'm quite simple if i get a badge at the end of it i'm happy
05:32i found um something else that people do with bugs where where where are we going with this you
05:42might have some my my spider sense is tingling here you might want some information right it's called
05:50formicophilia it says this involves the application of insects on the genitals but other areas of the
05:59body may also be in focus the desired effect may be tickling stinging in the case of slugs slugs a
06:05slimy sensation i wonder if that's where ants in your pants came from i wonder if that's what it was
06:15could yeah here's a question for you could you live off grid i don't think i could completely just go
06:23and do without everything like i i enjoy too much with creature comforts
06:27i think that the straightforward answer is absolutely not but i wonder if there is a
06:33there's a tipping point where the sort of the expectations that you have of life and society
06:39actually just start to ebb away and there's a certain freedom to it where i go this is actually
06:43really free over a hundred thousand people in the uk live off grid and there are dozens of
06:50environmentally conscious eco communities this one in wales has over a hundred residents and they
06:57live by just a few simple rules no outside power sources like petrol gas or the electrical grid
07:04and those living here live lightly on the land keeping their human footprint to a minimum to live in
07:09harmony with nature hello hi guys how's it going how you doing ralph greg yes please yeah yeah
07:19today our hosts are shanti and greg a couple who have raised four children here
07:25hello this is amazing so this is home this is home yeah this is home sweet home how long have you
07:38been here we've been here for eight winters now wow good advice i would say to anyone who want to go to
07:44the nature is go without zero experience and your brain is kind of naturally bringing up memories but
07:50you don't know is that from ancestry because this this was the norm people that's what they saw morning
07:56to evening and all the time the knowledge is inside me i just have to let it you know to rise up so this
08:02is all inside all of us we just have to go yeah oh hey yes hey hey nice oh look
08:14lovely hello hello we've got guests this is it this is the life isn't it did any of you guys move
08:28towards this lifestyle because of concerns about climate change or was this something you'd already
08:34done and you're already just way ahead of the game both like i don't go to protest even though i agree
08:39with what the protests are for me i'd rather invest my time and energy in creating what
08:44i do want so when i wake up i can wake up to the sounds of nature immediately and then you think
08:49of a city you step out of the door into a man-made environment so you continue continuously feeding
08:54back humanness yeah and you're disconnecting from all the other life that exists on the planet that we
08:59share the planet with we don't grow enough of our food to feed ourselves but if everything stopped
09:05we'd be able to kind of sort ourselves out yeah this you sleep here then yeah that's the bed actually
09:10what you so what do you you just roll this out yeah you just roll this out in the daytime these are the
09:15kids beds and they roll these out so you actually homeschool the kids right we liked it to be a bit
09:22child-led and home-ed kids the big difference that we see is that the home-ed kids are often really
09:27comfortable around adults yeah they speak they're confident and they're creative we tried school
09:32right they tried it they were curious school is makes you think well if you're not academic
09:39you're going to fail in life and i hate that yeah what i wanted to ask which is
09:45it's been a burning question what happens if you want to go to the toilet
09:48you have actually quite sophisticated toilets here yeah it's just i haven't been all day and i was
09:52wondering if i could maybe give it a test drive yeah yeah yeah he's been touching cloth for about
09:5610 minutes oh yeah yeah
10:01there's a downside to tp life i've found and that's to smoke you live in a chimney
10:06if the smoke didn't make our eyes water what i'm about to do will
10:11are you joking yeah i was going to say you're taking the piss but that's exactly what it is
10:16i didn't expect the toilet to look like that no talk talk me through this because that does not look
10:20like a toilet when i got on the corner it was a bin and a tree with a gap in it you step up here
10:27and basically it's a squat toilet like in the end you don't even oh oh you know you're not gonna fall
10:34in you you're well secured from the back i wasn't prepared for that i've never stood on a toilet seat
10:40before but maybe maybe tonight's the night stand turn squat deliver win
10:48okay so you're finished and then you finish you know i mean i usually yeah yeah yeah and then oh
10:56just you go you just go with the bare hand yeah yeah yeah you do with the yeah i shook his hand today
11:00i shook his hand and when you finish you have a little bit of dry always cover up yeah so the main
11:07thing is you go there and sprinkle a little bit on top just a bit of seasoning yeah yeah and then you
11:14can wash your hand it's not for me yeah so this bomb when you're standing is like this yeah but when
11:20actually you positioning it you naturally you pull this straight
11:24and if you got side uh you know duck i don't think my bum does that
11:35not for me two o'clock in the morning when you've got a bit of diarrhea
11:39quick running from the knees down you've got to get on a tree and wipe your ass with your hand
11:43you try and live off the land and it provides everything what sort of stuff do you eat we can
11:57forage lots of things there's like um brambles nettles there's leaves off the trees there's sorrel
12:03there's another one that we can eat and we can gather that with salad do you get taught this though
12:08how do you know what you can and can't eat because you've got children running around and there's stuff
12:12that's poisonous do you have to teach them from a young age don't eat that you can eat that we
12:16make up songs along the way oh this is new to me so what would i sing to go i can't eat that because
12:22that'll kill me that one's nice yummy is it that sort of thing yeah that was a very polite way of
12:28going no that was kind of you'll be surprised how much you can actually eat and how much is around
12:35you all right anything that we see on our travels that we can eat i want to try yeah tell us we'll try
12:40everything so shall we go and do some porridge yes please yes yes away i cannot that that'll kill
12:46me i can eat this because that is your me oh yeah oh sorrow we felt sorrow oh this is lemon so this is
12:54lemon iso sweet for you lemon iso sweet for you get it in your tummy actually this one we're going to
13:01go to the rosy it's going to be quite a good one of my lyrics i did that got you put it in my head
13:07me lyrics it's quite nice actually it's got like a like a lemony like an apple come on there's loads more
13:14let's go okay can you smell the garlic wow wow you can really smell that's incredible really nice smell
13:28this is steve it's a bit spicier delicious and spice oh jesus right the flower the leaves that's proper
13:41spicy mate really i'll get you up in the morning that garlic and spring oniony kind of thing i can't
13:47wait to find one of them in the field and go what's this kids and eat it it tastes like just a ready-made
13:51seasoning you could put that on anything and it'd be ready to go wow so when you're picking the nettle
13:57you go like the first bit down yeah and then you just do a little glick thank you okay but also
14:03i do i'm sorry i should have said to you because i've already asked the the gland it's okay ask the land
14:08if it's okay oh do you so you speak to the land and you and you say thank you thank you can i just
14:13have some for dinner i'm all right to have some of your nettles he said yeah
14:20okay so i just asked the line would you mind if i have some of you
14:25well there's no need to be like that about it it's not keen he's having a full conversation it's told me
14:31no well i don't even know what to do okay all right okay i'll find another one oh try this one
14:37the land can do your soul well listen your mate over there's been a bit of a dick
14:44flirting with nettles what's he doing so this is a private conversation if you mind if i have
14:49some of you my chirping skills are on point actually they're on point because yes i had one knock
14:58back but but i didn't let it throw me off my game
15:06are you coming yeah yeah yeah i'm slowly slowly i was talking to the nettle
15:09do you find the winter tough sometime in the winter you know we go to see friends and i utterly
15:24enjoy it you know you go ping like going ping oh my god it's like cooking being gasping you know it's
15:32like it's like it's like a children oh you can't go to bed like two and it's like six yeah i can't
15:38deal this anymore it's just like you know i do enjoy one day it's good it's like the second day i'm
15:43wrecked and the third day is getting like the suicide level it's funny it's like we live in the zoo
15:48and they just come and visit every now and then you know i mean we're the caged animals yeah yeah we're
15:53the ones pacing up and down the cage it's all free here yeah i'm having i am having a moment this is a
15:59really profound thing i'm witnessing this is unbelievable this place i think it's just being
16:07at one with yourself and not having other distractions around you is is key for me anyway
16:12and just just to sort of switch off for a bit and just be at one with this it's amazing what it's
16:18doing to me you don't understand straight away i can't tell you how profound it was how relaxed i
16:29felt it just suddenly felt wow there's something's come off my shoulders here
16:38i've been looking for an answer to why i don't sleep very well and why i'm constantly heart's
16:42always pounding and i'm always stressed and i've and and i've come here and i've been here for a
16:47matter of hours and already i i feel like i've honestly my shoulders feel lighter and i put my hand
16:52up on my pulse and my pulse is half the speed it's been i was like i've been missing something here
16:57there's something in this look guys before just progress what have you got what is it we were
17:03picking stuff off and everything he'd give me greg i was like oh that's nice and he pulled off this
17:09other bit off this treatment that tastes like shite oh let me try is it the right thing yeah
17:17you can't just poison us and then go oh my bad
17:19there's any cats around so i can lick its ass get the taste out of my mouth
17:35i'll do some chopping give us that board i like cheffin
17:38i love a fire honestly i love a fire i could see musical instruments i thought sitting around
17:44here having a beer fire a bit of music chilling out like a festival lovely
17:52how do you manage private time sexy time intimate time
17:58oh i see so you shout like you rustle chocolate and if they don't if no no one arrives like over
18:10the horizon you're like we've got at least 20 minutes we've got six or seven minutes
18:13i could do each other i was gonna say that's showing off isn't it
18:26before we have our meal together shanty leads a song of gratitude
18:30it's giving thanks giving thanks give thanks and praise give thanks give thanks
18:43give thanks and praise
18:47excuse me can i uh is it all right if i pick you thank you
18:51this is actually delicious hey can i say thank you for letting us in your home and i know i mean
19:08all of this because you know i know we're privileged to be here so thanks very much thank you i've learned
19:12a lot they're just trying to say listen we all live on this planet and if we can help out and make
19:20this a better place then what's wrong with that and i think the simplicity of that i get
19:25completely if there's more we can do then do it i think we can really take inspiration from this
19:30and kind of go take time be in the world here's a weird thing i find myself a little envious
19:37you know they they basically have nothing and want for nothing and i have probably loads of
19:44stuff and have spent my life wanting for more and who wins they do
19:51easily i think there's something really really worth investigating about that and taking it home
19:56into my life thank you so much for letting us in your home yeah thank you guys thank you
20:01do you know what else i'm going to take from this what i'm going to squat and over the top of my
20:05toilet now to don't do that no no no tried at least once yeah he's deadly serious he's like
20:12it'll change your life it'll change your life i can't wait to tell the kids what we learned today
20:16if you squat your bum hole goes massive that's all i've learned today thank you so much so what
20:23you're going to just sort of clear this up and put the fire on and just snuggle hey we know what
20:28they're going to do there's no kids here yeah exactly i'm gonna leave the city got to get away
20:36the whole climate change thing you used to be mad on that well i still am but i always think when i
20:42was a kid there was factories everywhere blooming smoke into the atmosphere and
20:49and there's more electric cars on the road now than there ever has been how could it be getting worse
20:55i guess there's a lot going on that we don't see there's more cars on the road now uh yeah
21:00relations yes there's more electric cars yeah and actually i think probably the main factor is
21:05population growth there's what eight billion people on the planet right now i'm a bit ignorant to the
21:10all the stuff that's going on on the planet and all that stuff because i sort of think well can i do much
21:14about it and i don't want to stress myself about it but listening to him i was thinking you know
21:18maybe there is something to be said for looking for different things to eat and food sources and
21:25all that sort of stuff do you reckon those two that couple shanty and greg do you they they seemed
21:30really kind of i thought they looked really in love really happy and in love with each other yeah they
21:34did i think they did and do you know what the thing is with that is they both have the same interests
21:39and i think nettles nettles i'm not worrying about shitting in the bin
21:53jambolique say come on now hey jumbo jumbo we can know we know we know oh jumbo la jumbo
22:02i mean would you consider yourself quite materialistic or not no i don't think i am
22:16materialistic you know if you're talking about how you spend your money it's not on buying fashion
22:21items where everyone else goes oh he's wearing that that's not what i am about at all it's more about
22:26i'd like to be able to go on adventures uh go on holidays and go and do things like that and make
22:31memories that's more important to me when we when we were young we didn't have much money but we were
22:37rich in having each other and having friends and and and the community somebody always did something
22:42in the community to help each other out because we all had nothing so you know my dad might cut start
22:46learn to cut hair and cut someone's hair and then my dad would fix someone's washing machine or
22:49they'd bring some over we learned to cut a purdy haircut it was only i mean he did my he did my
22:55sister's hair and she came back with like three mates can you do their hair as well and they were
22:59sending people amazing but we used to get our clothes from a jumble sale yeah and and so we'd go to the
23:05local church and people would donate bags of clothes and i loved it about a year ago yeah that's the
23:13question if you won the lottery yeah what would you spend your money on yeah and you said i'd buy
23:19watches well i like rolexes so far we've explored life off grid this is unbelievable this place and
23:29expanded our sustainable palettes tastes like just a ready-made seasoning but do we really have what it
23:34takes to survive out in the wild if we needed to we're actually going to go and see a guy he basically
23:41has honed a load of skills to sort of almost live like almost a stone age life what's the stone age like
23:47all the tools that you would have had in the stone age and how to survive and how we used to survive
23:51in the stone age this is a challenge yes yes okay can i rough it can i tough it out yes can i get used
23:58to this and i and i do love learning new skills and you then you can take this with your skills like
24:03this is this i think it's going to be like a fascinating like wow that's amazing and i get to
24:08learn that and that's the thing that i now know but what we're staying the night there
24:17what's with all night yeah
24:21i don't like camping right and i don't i just don't like the uncomfortableness of it there's
24:25no duvets how are we supposed to keep warm with each other's body heat i'll tell you right now if we're
24:31sleeping outside there's no cuddling you're not spooning me i'm big space right i'm a hundred percent big
24:37spoon what do you mean i'm big spoon your little spoon i am far from a little spoon mate look at
24:42the fucking size difference i'm what do you mean look at the size difference i'm about a foot taller
24:45than you you're about an inch taller if that and i'm about six inches wider i'm the fucking big
24:51spoon taller yeah i'm the big spoon hey what do you mean i'm not the big spoon we're not spooning
24:56i'm not i'm not any spoon i'm the big spoon
25:00fuck off
25:06we're visiting will lord
25:09hi there guys how are you all right mate he's an expert in primitive survival techniques that humans
25:15relied on before we had metal electricity and all the technologies that came thereafter
25:20i've been practicing these skills for over 40 years look at it yeah i love it he's regularly
25:26visited by doomsday preppers for lessons and he could survive with very little almost anywhere
25:32we're gonna need to get in there and i think we need to get you changed changed yeah into what well
25:36you need to get a bit more practice kind of this oh you're gonna oh hello
25:43and you know what i've even got the fire going with the kettle on wow wow look at this this is great
25:50mate the clothes i wear yes they're made out of deer skin right this took a month to make and i'm in
25:55year two wow so when we start thinking about the skill sets the skill sets have a value that's all
26:02about survival yeah that's what you're here to learn essentially we've got a few ingredients that we need
26:08to consider you're here for the night so you're going to need fire yeah you are going to need to make a
26:13weapon so that you can actually go hunting all right and uh get cooking we've got a lot to do so i'm
26:20going to leave you to get all changed thanks i don't know how or why the the two outfits got allocated
26:27okay yeah snazzy but i definitely felt like i lucked out on that one
26:32hey look at you i wasn't expecting shorts i felt a little bit like i was a homoerotic caveman
26:46i think you look absolutely you're popping it what lie that's the state of me they look short
26:53i mean tight why they took this in so it was all flapping about there's nothing flapping about there
26:59it's too tight to flap about i'll tell you that oh god well it doesn't have to be i'm not i'm not
27:07sure did they wear these back in the day it was this nightwear for the caveman did they go hunting
27:12in the day and go right we're off to the cave club what are you wearing i'm putting the hot pants on
27:16here we go still i'm trying to hunt well there you are a bit of practice tonight
27:32okay my shadow looks like panto peter pan yeah you actually have got a peter pan vibe going on
27:38we need to move forward a bit this is what you're going to be making so you made this this flint arrowhead
27:49yeah so do you want to pop in here and come sit down yeah after you peter
27:53shut your face that's your problem you've got to get that out of that yeah
27:59it hit me in the cheek did it i'm glad i've got these on all you're doing is putting dents in it
28:08yeah you do it i'm shy to stuff like this i really am i just want it will lord to say
28:14you've done a good job you do it
28:16oh shit sorry and i made the balls of it you knocked the whole thing in and this just came
28:31from you as a kid this is something you did as a kid yeah so i grew up on an ancient flint mine so
28:36right from the word go i've always been in the right place for all these skills
28:40and you do you actually come and live here don't you stay here yeah yeah this makes me feel really well
28:46you know in here yeah it's got to be good for your head this kind of stuff because you can't
28:51think about anything else other than what you're doing right now which is really good for me
28:55that's not looking bad right i think it's looking great
29:02so we're supposed to be able to get the fire going yes please
29:06are you going to use the bow yeah oh the bow technique oh the bow the bow
29:11am i right you need to have it on a ridge so you get some air from underneath it as well
29:15no it doesn't matter but that is dry
29:22go on smoke in look you're smoking
29:26get in there son you're not fucking blowing them here all
29:29i'm trying to help stop it
29:31get in there and then just to keep that going we're going to put some little silver bits of
29:43birch on there because what they'll do is they'll be like our little fire lighters
29:47oh great is this i'm just bashing a stick with a rock and i'm having a great time this is
30:00this is one of the best days i've had oh no in a long time he had me at fire
30:04he had me at fire but making arrowheads i'm loving it
30:14if we were here and you know back in in in prehistoric times you have to get this right
30:19because this is survival how do you think you've done but i'm quite pleased with it it seems pretty
30:24solid yeah nice i like that thanks thanks dad let's have a look at yours first time's the worst
30:33time right all right cheers bollocks i tried it and i glued it and when i wrapped it around i got
30:39it wrong and i thought if i just make it and it just didn't stick right like a lot of my school
30:43reports could do more could be better see me you're suspended you know them kind of things i get you
30:50get used to it are you are you happy with it and it's it's a lesson isn't it can't be good at
30:57everything apart from ralph seems to oh hi never done this before well am i perfect i'm all perfect
31:04i'm like oh naturally good at this brilliant why did i choose to do this with him we'll use this one
31:10for the hunting right yeah okay cool listen i'll hunt you with this don't worry it won't work it will
31:16oh i thought it was real oh it scared me too why would it scare me it's only a deer but for a split
31:26second i was like oh i thought there's a deer there why were we scared by it though because i thought
31:32we'll have to kill it well that's the idea right so we've got to try and hit that there's a bow each
31:38three fingers round right and then turn for the target oh absolutely nailed it that's through the
31:50spinal column in it oh ralph you go first all right i will go on robin
31:56i pulled the string back and then just like took a breath just to try and steady and then let it
32:09go right that's a shot maybe it was beginner's look i don't know but it worked all right here we go
32:22this is me thinking of the kids watching this i'm thinking my son's going to be so proud here
32:36it didn't even get halfway will's first attempt it was like you haven't got any viagra to rub on
32:54will's bow right i didn't know you had to pull it that hard
32:58how did you make it go like that in the air i'm getting me arrows
33:10they're obviously crying laughing ralph and will high-fiving like father and son hugging
33:14in the background oh that looks good yeah right in the shot look at that yes you can have a
33:27hug yes i love that i love that we're both eating venison tonight
33:34because we're sort of dressed like this and we've been learning these skills and it was very much
33:38attached to this survival stone age idea it felt like we actually could maybe do this
33:45like this is what ancestors actually did tonight we'll be eating well well done well done young marion
34:01we've been taken under the wing of will lord and taught the ways of stone age survival
34:05we have fire but now it's time for a real challenge and for us to stand on our own two feet
34:11so we're bedding down for the night by ourselves well i'm going to take you and show you where your
34:16digs are now this is it here you go this is you for the night here we go there's no roof
34:22there's oh there's no roof oh there's no it's designed like that so you can be in the forest and
34:27you can be under there dry oh those are the beds they're your beds okay what's that that's tea
34:32oh is it why is it a deer leg well it's the deer we shot right so what you've got oh you've got a
34:37knife you can skin that there's a chopping board there that's the knife yeah so fingers and thumbs
34:42under there yeah making right balls are that you get off absolutely hopeless man so you're gonna stick
34:51that stick in there and it'll come out somewhere up here it's oh nice nice pop it on there oh yeah
34:57look at that so let's see how you do survival wise see you later then cheers will thanks see you
35:03well see you mate and he just left and i was like dad we're not ready no i think what i can't do it
35:15off we're gonna die out here we're not gonna die out here sure let me just try it just try and
35:21trap your finger in there if you can good it's good that looks good mate go on
35:31look you know them years of practice he's coming in only here
35:36ralph ralph fastener ralph can you see it how's it going and he's going go on you can do it
35:43if you'd just see me from this eye it'll look very wrong don't stop don't stop i'm nearly there
35:49oh fuck off oh well well we can't light the fire oh look at your technique it's awful in it
36:01so it's horrendous all right what's the problem show everything all the school days came flooding back
36:07pay attention are you listening are you sure repeat back what i said do you want to come up
36:12and stand in front of the class and tell us all what they're supposed to be doing then if you've been
36:15listening no i don't go come on yeah cheers come on boy keep going come on let's do it
36:30hang on hang on hang on you've got an ember in that now drop it in towards you
36:45you're better now
37:13We are men! We are men of the forest! We are men of the woods! We are cavemen!
37:20That was unbelievable! We did it!
37:23That was unbelievable! We made fire!
37:28Wow!
37:29Shall we put this deer on? Do you want to try a bit?
37:34I'll have a bit of the underside there.
37:36Is it cut? Yeah, looks to perfection.
37:43It's absolutely delicious. It's absolutely delicious.
37:47How moist is that? Mmm, God.
37:49I've never felt more of a man in my life.
37:53Right in me dish.
37:55We're going to cheers to.
37:57Will Lord of the Stone Age.
37:59Will Lord of the Stone Age, we salute you.
38:01Oh, my. I mean, what a day.
38:13I've got a very vivid imagination and I'm worried about that fire going out when I'm asleep and waking up and there's no roof here.
38:23I wasn't going to tell you this, but you brought it up. I was talking to Will Lord earlier.
38:27Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
38:29Well, he was saying that these woods, particularly back that way, there is a rumour that they're haunted.
38:34Bollock. Don't start with that shit.
38:36But not like haunted by a ghost, but just like a creature. He wasn't very specific.
38:40What, like Blair Witch?
38:41He just said a creature.
38:44He's just got his wits. His mind goes off.
38:48Maybe I could have been a little bit more supportive.
38:50My sister's seen a ghost.
38:52Your sister's seen a ghost? Yeah.
38:54No, she hasn't. I'm telling you now.
38:56I'm telling you she hasn't. She has.
38:58She has. She was babysitting and the little boy turned up in shorts.
39:02No, he didn't. He did.
39:04And he was sat cross-legged smiling at her and she said she felt very calm and the dog was barking at the fireplace.
39:08And she said she felt very calm and she was babysitting and then it just disappeared.
39:12I think what happened was your sister was babysitting a little boy in shorts.
39:16There's stuff that we don't know about out there. I'm telling you now.
39:19Well, we do know about it. There's some sort of creature that stalks behind the shelf.
39:22No, don't, Ralph. I am serious.
39:24When that fire goes out, it's just me and you in the dark.
39:26Apparently that direction's fine, but out the back here, that's where it stalks.
39:31Anyway.
39:33How are you going to sleep?
39:35Keep going.
39:37Are you going to sleep?
39:39Yeah.
39:40Really?
39:41Yeah.
39:42Are you not?
39:43Don't go to sleep yet.
39:44Why?
39:45Just stay with me a bit.
39:46Stay with you a bit?
39:48I could hear things. I could hear things and I kept thinking, as soon as I close my eyes, I'm going to open them and there's going to be something there.
40:06You know, like, and I can't do anything, I'm in a corner.
40:09And what I was thinking, what if the fire goes out? It'd be pitch black. I won't be able to see nothing.
40:22And there might be some spirit somewhere. Don't tell me that sort of stuff. He's like them. They sleep like a baby. And I can't sleep.
40:38What was that?
40:39How the fucking hell was that? What was that?
40:41You dick. Don't piss about.
40:43I just...
40:44There was a noise then.
40:45I think I was...
40:46Don't piss about.
40:47I must have been having a battery.
40:48Don't you dare.
40:49You...
40:50You nearly shot through the roof.
40:52Oh my God.
40:53Oh my God.
40:55Listen, Nora, I nearly shit myself.
40:57Right, let's try and go to sleep.
41:03Night.
41:08Seriously.
41:13Someone just landed on me.
41:15I'm not pissing about.
41:16What?
41:17Someone just landed on me.
41:18You can fuck off.
41:19I'm going, fuck off.
41:20Shit balls.
41:21Are you serious?
41:22I'm going, fuck you.
41:23Are you serious?
41:24I'm not balls.
41:29I know you think this is funny, but I'm going.
41:31It's not funny anymore.
41:33That's just a noise.
41:34It's a bollocks.
41:35It's just a noise.
41:36Are you serious?
41:37Are you serious?
41:38Piss off.
41:39I'm gone.
41:40Are we not doing this?
41:41Will!
41:45Will!
41:47It was a little childish.
41:48I'll hold my hands up.
41:49It was a little childish, but...
41:51I mean...
41:52It's a learning curve.
41:54Will!
41:55Are we going to be able to find somewhere to stay?
41:57All right, go.
42:07We should have stayed.
42:08I think we've shortchanged people a little bit.
42:10Why?
42:11Because we're here to challenge ourselves.
42:12Listen, we've skinned the deer leg.
42:14Yeah.
42:15We've built a fire from scratch.
42:17I think it's fantastic.
42:18I think it's fantastic.
42:19It's a very good one.
42:20Keep going.
42:22That's perfect.
42:24I don't know what to do.
42:25I'm just kidding.
42:26Keep going.
42:27Come on.
42:28A bit of sand.
42:29I don't know what to do then.
42:30I don't know what to do.
42:31Oh, watch it when the night has come and the land is dark and the moon is the only
42:52I will see I'll be scared. Yeah, you'd be shitting it. No, I don't be afraid. No, I won't be afraid. Just as long as you stand. Stand by me.
43:12I don't even know how you do this.
43:15Turn them off! You fucking nubbit!
43:17Aren't you ready?
43:23Strip down to your underwear.
43:25For now, one, two, three!
43:26Stand by!
43:52Stand by!
43:53Stand by!
43:54Stand by!
43:55Stand by!
43:56Stand by!
43:57Stand by!
43:58Stand by!
43:59Stand by!
44:00Stand by!
44:01Stand by!
44:02Stand by!
44:03Stand by!
44:04Stand by!
44:05Stand by!
44:06Stand by!
44:07Stand by!
44:08Stand by!
44:09Stand by!
44:10Stand by!
44:11Stand by!
44:12Stand by!
44:13Stand by!
44:14Stand by!
44:15Stand by!
44:16Stand by!
44:17Stand by!
44:18Stand by!
44:19Stand by!
44:20Stand by!
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