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Will & Ralf Should Know Better Season 2 Episode 2
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00:00Transcription by ESO. Translation by —
00:12Ooh, that was awful. I saw a massive shadow on them stairs then.
00:16A massive one. It was like it moved seriously right towards us.
00:20Who's with us in this Sally? Do you not want us here?
00:22I can barely breathe.
00:30This is Will.
00:33This is terrifying! Slow down!
00:35And this is Ralph.
00:37I feel like a powerful badass.
00:39We've been mates for 20-odd years.
00:41Come here, let's have a snuggle.
00:43We might look like middle-aged blokes.
00:46Yeah, this is great fun.
00:47But really, we're just a pair of massive...
00:52...noisy...
00:55...kids.
00:56Where have you got that cake from?
00:58So what will it take for us to grow up?
01:00I really tried!
01:02Embrace modern life...
01:04Should've gone for some subtle nails, like mine.
01:06...and become better...
01:07...let it one without a survivor...
01:09...maturer...
01:12...men.
01:13Look at these times, there's something wrong with these.
01:15Ah!
01:16Ah!
01:19Wow!
01:20Oh!
01:21Oh!
01:22Yeah!
01:24You're like this.
01:26Way to work here...
01:27No diggity!
01:28I'd like to bag it up!
01:30Hey y'all!
01:31Hey y'all!
01:32Hey y'all!
01:33Oh that girl looks good!
01:35Hey y'all!
01:36Hey y'all!
01:37Hey y'all!
01:38Hey y'all!
01:39Hey y'all!
01:41Hey y'all!
01:42Hey y'all!
01:43You're telling me your mum used to not piss in your ear?
01:48You've got an earache.
01:49You piss on a spoon and you used to put it down my ear when I was a kid.
01:52What's it called?
01:53Ammonia.
01:54Piss.
01:54Yeah, apparently it's good for your earache.
01:58Right.
01:59Do you not think there'd be like a better source of ammonia to do that with?
02:02Listen, when you're poor, you use what you can use.
02:05If pissing in the ear was really good for earache,
02:08then it would have been scientifically tested and measured
02:13and experimented to see if that was true.
02:15And if it was true, then I and anybody else with a scientific leaning would say,
02:20oh, yeah, he's pissing you in, and that's fine.
02:22Here's a good example of that.
02:24There is only one foolproof, 100% scientifically certain way to cure hiccups.
02:30Digital rectal massage.
02:32A finger off the bum.
02:34That's... No.
02:35100% true.
02:36Well, yeah, no wonder it gets rid of hiccups.
02:38It gets rid of a lot of things,
02:39because you suddenly forget what you were thinking about,
02:42and all you're thinking about is,
02:43who's got the finger off my arse?
02:47So over the course of 20-odd years,
02:50working together and being mates,
02:51we sort of know each other better than ever, really.
02:54And we're quite aligned on a lot of things,
02:56but I feel like one of the things that really still sets us apart from each other,
03:01that we're miles away from each other on, is belief.
03:04You don't believe in anything, do you?
03:05No.
03:05You don't believe in anything that isn't, like, proven scientific aliens, God, spirits?
03:13You're always going on about,
03:15oh, this happened, and you can't explain that, you can't explain that.
03:18And I'm often saying,
03:19well, you can explain it.
03:20There's a mental, scientific, neuroscientific, psychological process behind it.
03:25Yeah.
03:25So on that basis, I am taking you to see a mind greener.
03:34What, like a Derren Brown?
03:37That was someone who can actually read your mind?
03:39Yes.
03:39It's about suggestion.
03:41Right.
03:41And about deduction.
03:43But let's be honest, if somebody really, really could read minds,
03:48that's the last person I want to be putting myself in front of.
03:51I want to keep all this horrible, dark shit in here, safe under lock and key.
03:55I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad I got sunshine in a bag.
04:01I'm useless, but not for long.
04:04The future is coming on.
04:07We're meeting Aaron Calvert,
04:09a mind reader and hypnotist who uses the power of psychology to influence what people believe.
04:16Keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing.
04:18Sleep, sink, drift, flow, relax all the way down.
04:20All right, mate, all right.
04:24Good, how are you guys?
04:25All right.
04:26We're talking about belief and what constitutes belief and where it comes from.
04:29So we came to see you so that maybe you can try and sort of talk us through a little more about the science behind things.
04:35Okay.
04:36So I actually originally trained as a doctor, then trained in clinical hypnotherapy.
04:39Oh.
04:39So I approach this with sort of a scientific evidence-based approach.
04:44For me, it's not about sort of making people do silly things.
04:47It's about enabling them to do something incredible,
04:49opening up their mind to do something amazing.
04:51Either they experience it through this process of mind reading,
04:53or they're hypnotized in order to do something that they didn't think would be remotely possible.
04:58Should we try something?
04:59Should I try and read your minds?
05:01Yes.
05:02Take the ball of paper, give it a mix under the table for me.
05:05My job is to try and guess which hand the ball of paper is in.
05:07So I want to distract you.
05:08So I want you to imagine that we're going on holiday together.
05:11So we get to the airport, the lady behind the check-in desk,
05:14she's in a bad mood, but we don't care.
05:15We're going on holiday.
05:15All right, wonderful.
05:17Great news.
05:17We go to the desk, we show our passports, we get on the plane.
05:21And as we land, we get off and we can see a nice big iconic monument in front of us there.
05:27Where would you go?
05:30What city in the world?
05:32Paris.
05:33Paris.
05:33Amazing.
05:34Okay, great.
05:35So, good.
05:36That exactly worked.
05:37That was this hand here.
05:39Yes?
05:40Yes.
05:40Yes.
05:41Good.
05:42Is that right?
05:42Yes.
05:43Yeah, good.
05:44And you had a big monument in your head.
05:46What was the monument?
05:47Eiffel Tower.
05:48Eiffel Tower.
05:49Can you say the piece of paper you were playing with?
05:50Behave.
05:51Can you unfold it?
05:53Don't you dare.
05:54It says Paris.
05:59Keep it in the same hand again.
06:03You can come again.
06:05I love it.
06:06How could you have known that?
06:08I thought about Paris and it was so locked in that I couldn't even conjure another name
06:13into my head.
06:13There's something in this room that has said Paris from the beginning.
06:18Now, hopefully, much like the idea that you don't see what you're looking for, you won't
06:24have seen it.
06:24But if you look behind there in the birdcage, you'll see that there is a photo frame that
06:30you've been walking past and sitting past.
06:32Oh, come on.
06:33No.
06:33The entire time.
06:34Get it.
06:35Bring it over.
06:36Come on.
06:37You can't just put a little Eiffel Tower in a birdcage, tucked into a corner and that
06:41have an effect, can it?
06:42No.
06:43But what you can do is weigh everything else in the favour of that moment happening.
06:50Bollocks.
06:52Come on, mate.
06:54I can't even, it's not even been in my eyes.
06:55It's not been in anybody's eyes.
06:56You can't just say bollocks.
06:58It just proved you right.
07:00I know.
07:00You can't just go bollocks.
07:01It was tucked in a corner behind a plant, inside a birdcage.
07:05This is where we get into that idea of belief.
07:07Somebody that's willing and open to belief and someone that will be more analytical
07:11to it and just go, no, don't believe it.
07:14Aaron is already one step ahead of Ralph.
07:16And that's the key, that he's one step ahead.
07:19And he's already telling you what he wants you to say without even knowing it.
07:23So belief is transient to an extent, right?
07:26So you've got ethics and morals that are quite ingrained as we grow up, but beliefs can be
07:31transformed in an instant.
07:32You know, if you can get somebody into a mindset of believing something you need, it can have
07:36an incredibly positive outcome when it comes to hypnosis.
07:38Everyone can be hypnotized and everyone experiences it in different ways.
07:44You up for trying this?
07:45When it comes down to, like, hypnosis, I just think my brain would be too much all over the
07:50place and I wouldn't be out of focus.
07:51So I wasn't sure, really, about what I was going to find.
07:54Take a deep breath in and just hold it.
07:57One, two, three.
07:59And as you breathe out now, close your eyes and begin to focus now on the sound of my
08:02voice.
08:03Each breath that you take, allowing yourself to relax, to become calm and focus.
08:09So I want you now to begin to imagine yourself stood.
08:12Stood at the top of a set of steps.
08:14And with each step that we take down together, you'll find yourself going deeper and deeper
08:18into this state.
08:19I really, really, really wanted it to work.
08:22And I was really worried that it wasn't.
08:24And so you're getting deeper and deeper into this, into this state.
08:27I was just thinking, I don't think I am.
08:29The more you try and bend that arm in a moment, you'll find it stuck locked in place.
08:32You can go ahead and try now and you'll find it locked in place.
08:34And the more you try and bend it, the more it'll stick there.
08:36Yes?
08:40I couldn't move my arm.
08:42It wasn't that I physically couldn't.
08:44I mentally was like, you don't want to do that.
08:47It's very, very strange.
08:49If you really think about it now, if you really try, think about it now, what's your name?
08:57What are you laughing at?
08:58Where's it gone?
09:03I'm going for the alphabet.
09:05Okay.
09:06What are we up to?
09:07C?
09:07D?
09:07I don't know why I'm on S already.
09:09Hello.
09:10Why did I have to go through the alphabet?
09:12It's just because it wasn't there.
09:14It was somewhere in there.
09:16I just had to try and bring it forward.
09:18When your name's there, isn't it?
09:20That's what's weird.
09:21It's right here.
09:21You ready?
09:22What is it?
09:23Um, what?
09:26Will.
09:27Will.
09:27Will.
09:27Will.
09:27Why did I say Wilf?
09:29Who's Wilf?
09:30I didn't say Walter.
09:32I just saw W.
09:33What's his name?
09:35My name's Will.
09:36Fucking nice to think about it then as well.
09:37Jesus Christ.
09:39That's dangerous, that.
09:40I need these brain cells.
09:42I feel like I've lost a few there doing that.
09:44I need all the ones I've got.
09:45I've only got about seven left.
09:46I want to go to bed.
09:48I'm so tired.
09:51It's partly because you're still in the state.
09:53I have here two steel nails.
09:56All right?
09:57I want you to take them and I want you to try and bend them.
10:05Good.
10:06Any success?
10:06No.
10:07No?
10:07Didn't expect you to because, I mean, bending a nail would be pretty insane, right?
10:11So, I want to play with fear just for a moment to show you what can happen with fear in reality.
10:18So, is there anything that you would say you've got a fear of?
10:21Spiders.
10:21Spiders.
10:22All right.
10:22I want you to take your nail.
10:24I want you to hold it exactly as you did before.
10:26And you see something just shoot across the floor.
10:29You think it's a shadow.
10:31But you notice it's got legs.
10:32And as it begins to climb up you, you begin to feel that fear rising up inside you.
10:36You begin to feel every single moment of those spiders.
10:38Every single one of them you've ever seen.
10:40Every one that's ever made you feel uncomfortable, you begin to climb up your legs now.
10:43And as you feel it, that one leg begin to touch your cheek now.
10:47As you feel the peak of that moment, I want you to take that nail.
10:49I want you to use all of that energy.
10:50I want you to push.
10:50Bend now.
10:51Bend now.
10:52Really push.
10:53Good.
10:54Use that.
10:55Oh, did you do that?
10:59It was effortless.
11:01I just went, oh, that's weird.
11:03Wow.
11:04I love this reaction.
11:06It's literally just a laugh.
11:07That's unbelievable.
11:10There's no bullshit there.
11:12I think this is a very interesting thing because the not moving my arm, not being able to remember
11:16your name, those are all things that we were being prevented from doing.
11:20This is unarguably a proactive thing that I would not have been able to do.
11:23And that's quite surreal, really.
11:26Fucking Johnny Visegrip, how have you done that?
11:32I can't tell anybody watching this now any more than they were proper nails.
11:37There was no tricks involved.
11:39It wasn't some different nail.
11:40He gave Ralph a soft nail.
11:42It was bent in the middle already.
11:44There's none of that.
11:45I can't bend it.
11:46No.
11:47And what really gets to me is if that's what your mind can do, what else can it do?
11:53You know what I mean?
11:54If you can use the power of your mind in the right way, there's loads of things you can achieve.
11:58All right.
11:59So I'm going to put you back under.
12:00We'll bring you out.
12:01So tell you what, high five as well.
12:03You've done really well.
12:04Great.
12:05Just sleep and sink and drift and float all the way down, all the way deep.
12:07Sleep and sink and drift and float all the way down, all the way deep, all the way sound asleep.
12:12Very good.
12:13I want you to know that the impossible is possible, that what you believe can be opened up.
12:16And you can go into that to whatever you're doing with the rest of your day and your night with that open-mindedness.
12:22Eyes wide open, wide awake, feeling refreshed, revitalised and ready for the whole day ahead of you.
12:29I think the will has been shown very demonstrably how powerful psychology is and the mind is and belief is in a sort of a very profound way in the, if you believe in something, it can physically affect you.
12:54Wow.
12:56Just amazing.
12:57Nice.
12:58Ralph, I'm going to get up his stages.
13:01Aaron, did you hypnotise me and glue my arse to this chair?
13:03See you, gents.
13:07You said you don't have an imagination.
13:17Mm-hmm.
13:18Right?
13:19And I have a very vivid imagination.
13:20Right.
13:21So I wonder if that comes hand in hand with beliefs.
13:23Oh, yeah.
13:24Do you know what I'm saying?
13:25Yeah.
13:26And I wonder why that's why you don't believe in anything, because you can't imagine the potential of it being anything else other than what you can prove or what is scientific.
13:33It's true.
13:34I don't have a very vivid imagination.
13:36I was always baffled as a kid whenever people say, oh, yeah, I had an imaginary friend.
13:42And I was like, how could you be bothered?
13:45That sounds like a lot of work.
13:46I don't think that's how it works.
13:48I know, but that is a completely foreign concept to me.
13:51Do you wish you could be more offered to believe in other things?
13:54I think in some respects, ignorance is bliss in some aspects of life.
13:57Yeah.
13:58I think the less you know, the easier it is to be happy with things.
14:00Yeah.
14:01Yeah.
14:02I think, you know, talking about an afterlife, like I say, I'm very firmly, not even like angrily believe.
14:08I just, I feel, I'm like, this is it.
14:11That's it.
14:12When it's done, it's done.
14:13I used to say to my dad, this is when I was a kid, Dad, when you do die, will you just drop down a letter and I'll wait for it?
14:20And then you can tell me what heaven's like.
14:25I never got it.
14:26Has it arrived?
14:27Yeah.
14:28No.
14:40I believe in spirits and stuff like that where you don't.
14:43I know people have seen ghosts.
14:44I know people have seen spirits.
14:46I've seen videos where things have flown across a room, undescribably.
14:50You don't believe in poltergeists?
14:51How bored are they?
14:53What do you mean?
14:55How bored are poltergeists?
14:57That they have to hover around in some house somewhere.
15:01They're in limbo.
15:02That's why they're angry.
15:03So they're just having tantrums?
15:08Just throw that across a room.
15:11If poltergeists exist, a little whiny prince.
15:14What?
15:15Right.
15:16Because you believe, obviously, in science, and that's what you are, you're a science person.
15:21Right now, we're on our way to go and meet some people who believe in everything that you don't believe in.
15:28Right.
15:29I'm going to take you to meet some witches.
15:32Are you kidding me?
15:33No.
15:34We're going to go and meet some witches.
15:35This is going to be a whole exercise in me trying not to offend somebody while they say things that I find frankly hilarious.
15:42Oh, but you're right.
15:44But what I am interested in is how and why do you believe something so implicitly, so unshakably, that this is now what you do.
15:54That's fascinating to me.
15:56But if anybody fucking throws a dreamcatcher in my direction, I'm just throwing it right back in their dish.
16:01Yeah.
16:07Come in there.
16:09Julie Aspinall has practiced witchcraft for over 40 years.
16:12She's the founder of the Coven of Gaia who teach the ways of the witch to whoever takes an interest.
16:19I said to Ralph, we're going to take you to see some witches.
16:22I'm sure you had an opinion of what a witch was.
16:24What is a witch?
16:25If you asked 50 witches what being a witch is, 50 would all give you a different answer.
16:30All of our coven has normal jobs.
16:32There's teachers, there's nurses.
16:34I train dogs and run a security company.
16:37There's all sorts of walks of life and we all dress perfectly normal.
16:42But it is a belief.
16:44It's a way of living our life as well.
16:46Right.
16:47In our coven we work a lot with spirit.
16:49We work a lot with healing.
16:51Basically what I do, I manipulate energies to change things around from what might happen to what we want to happen.
16:58We have to go around the country and we stay in different places.
17:01I believe in spirits and I get bad vibes from places and stuff like that.
17:05And it's been a few times.
17:06I'd say about one night in three.
17:08No it's not.
17:09I'm settling in, I put my bag down in my hotel room and I get this.
17:12Can I come in?
17:13What's wrong?
17:14Can we change rooms?
17:15Why?
17:16It's got bad juju.
17:17I don't like the furniture.
17:18Why?
17:19The woods too dark.
17:20It scares me.
17:21I'm like, you're 49 years old.
17:24Listen, all it is is I've got a vivid imagination so it could just be that but I get a vibe or I get a feeling when I'm in it and I just don't like it in here for some reason.
17:33To me, you are either psychic or you've got an attachment, some sort of trauma attached to you from something that's happened years ago to you.
17:44He's attached himself to me for 23 years.
17:46I can't shake him.
17:47I've got a right bad back from carrying you all in this.
17:49My shoulders are killing me.
17:51I think he just needs to open his third eye a bit and...
17:54His third eye is wide open.
17:57I've seen it too many times frankly.
18:00Can we shut his third eye please?
18:03I don't want any part of it.
18:06Shall I take you down the spell room and you can meet the rest of the coven?
18:10Yeah, I'd love to.
18:11Come on then.
18:12Yeah.
18:13We head out back to the spell room to meet the coven.
18:18Hi guys.
18:19Would you like to put a cloak on so you feel part of it?
18:22Yeah, yeah.
18:23Yes please, yeah for sure.
18:27So how do you feel in this room?
18:29I love it in here.
18:30It's nice.
18:31Quite dark furniture though.
18:32No, but it's got a nice vibe in here.
18:34I'm open to energies and to feeling things and spirituality.
18:37And that's what we're going to help you.
18:38I'd rather be open to them closed off.
18:39Yeah, we're going to help you open it a little bit more.
18:41So that will give you more of a chance to deal with things.
18:44And control it.
18:45Yeah.
18:46So what we're going to do, we're going to do a pendulum cleanse on you.
18:49Okay.
18:50So it's going to cleanse all your chakras.
18:51Because we're all picking up like all varied energies from you.
18:54Right.
18:55Right.
18:56You are all over the place.
18:57You are, literally.
18:58Okay, so come on then Will.
19:01What?
19:02You've just got to lie here on the floor.
19:03On my back.
19:04On your back, love.
19:15Your throat chakra is a little bit blocked.
19:17Have you got things you need to say that you haven't said?
19:21I don't know.
19:22I'm quite open usually.
19:25I had blocked throat chakras.
19:27I don't know whether it means I've just got to have a strepsule.
19:30Or I think it means I'm holding stuff back.
19:32She's clearing all the stagnant energy away from your body.
19:36All the stagnant energy that's in your aura.
19:39And getting rid of it.
19:41You done?
19:42Nothing too bad there, was it?
19:43It was lovely.
19:44He's asleep nearly.
19:47I really enjoyed the cleanse.
19:49I'd like to do more of that.
19:51Just switch off for a bit and just...
19:54You know, focus yourself.
19:55Right, okay then Rob.
19:56Right, let's have a go.
19:57Get yourself on the floor, love.
19:58Just a deep tissue massage.
19:59Can you throw a bit of that in?
20:00Can you put right off?
20:01You want it good?
20:03Can you throw a bit of that in?
20:04Can I be asking?
20:13Oh, my pendulum cleanse.
20:14There's a scientific reason why it feels calming and cleansing.
20:18When you lie in a warm cosy room and there's a steady rhythmic beat and you control your breathing,
20:23and especially if you get the sense that people around you have good will towards you.
20:27Of course that's calming and cleansing.
20:29You can waggle pendulums over my dish as much as you like.
20:32I'll take it.
20:33I'm happy.
20:35My dad used to get rid of my headaches.
20:37Yeah.
20:38Not with tablets, he used to put his hands.
20:39Yeah.
20:40And then I did it to my kids.
20:41So you have the gift of healing.
20:43But my dad used to say, I've got healing hands.
20:45Yeah.
20:46And I didn't know whether I believed it or not, but I'd sit there and he'd do it and it would make me feel amazing.
20:49Spiritual healer.
20:50Yes.
20:51You're obviously from a whole line of witches, sweetie.
20:53You're a natural.
20:54I could come from a line of witches because my dad had healing hands.
20:59So my mum's seen spirits.
21:01My daughter sees spirits all the time.
21:03So maybe we've got our own coven at home.
21:05Maybe I was born into this.
21:08Maybe this is me.
21:15You all right?
21:18Your energy's great.
21:20Cake.
21:21Made by one of my kitchen witches.
21:23Thank you very much.
21:24If I'm to be transparent, I'm seeing all you guys sat here and for all of the things I do buy into and don't buy into, I do see that there's bonded building in this.
21:33Yeah, this is a really nice vibe in here.
21:34In the ceremony and the ritual of what this is.
21:37So I do get that.
21:38Something about this room and we were sat here just feels...
21:40Yeah.
21:41Chilled.
21:42And you're more than welcome to come and recharge here anytime you want.
21:45Appreciate it.
21:46So what we're going to do now then boys, we're just going to do a manifestation ritual.
21:53Thank you Bailey.
21:55One of those.
21:56Ralph.
21:57Where have you got that cake from?
21:59He helps himself in the spell room.
22:00So whatever you want to manifest, write it on your bay leaf.
22:01But what I want you to do is I want you to visualise yourself having it.
22:14May you never go hungry.
22:15If I wanted to be free from pain or illness or anything like that.
22:18You would write pain on it.
22:19That's what you want.
22:20Free from pain not an illness.
22:21I wouldn't fit that on there.
22:22What you're going to do is chant some words and then when we all feel ready you're just
22:26going to light your bay leaf and you're going to love it in the fire.
22:29Future changes come to me in abundance three by three.
22:36Future changes come to me in abundance three by three.
22:40Future changes come to me in abundance three times three.
22:44Future changes come to me in abundance three times three.
22:48It's three times three.
22:50Get me a Ferrari.
22:51Oh, there you go. Look at that.
22:52You can't just then say, get me a Ferrari.
22:56And how did that feel?
22:58Positive.
22:59Manifestation is something I really believe in.
23:01When I was younger and I told people what I wanted to do for a living,
23:05because of where I come from, people either laughed at me,
23:07told me I'd never be able to do it, told me I couldn't do it.
23:10Even teachers told me I'd be a failure
23:11and I would never make anything of myself.
23:13And I achieved my goals.
23:16So I will always believe in manifestation.
23:20We've learnt a bit, don't we?
23:20We've learnt something.
23:21Yeah.
23:22And I've had lots of cake.
23:24So it's been a win all round as far as I'm concerned.
23:27Cake!
23:29Yes!
23:30Yes, I'm a sceptic and at no point did I think we were really casting a spell.
23:35But the cake was delicious.
23:37I might be back.
23:46So what do you think of the witches then?
23:47We're talking about belief.
23:49Their belief has enriched their lives.
23:51Yeah.
23:52And they're not doing anyone else any harm.
23:53It just had a nice vibe about it and I thought they were nice people.
23:56They were calming.
23:57And I like the fact I've got healing in hands.
23:59I quite like the fact that I've got a bit of that in me.
24:05When we brought our kids up for years, we told our kids it was a secret.
24:10But we had superpowers.
24:13Amazing.
24:14And the kids thought we were a part of this superfamily.
24:16That's actually really cute.
24:17And then they watched the Incredibles and it was like, which one am I?
24:20I was like, have you seen how fast you are?
24:21You're obviously Dash.
24:22But suddenly they just used to run around.
24:26That is really cute though.
24:27And a bit cruel as well, because I mean, imagine the disappointment.
24:31Father Christmas not being real pales into insignificance.
24:34Father Christmas isn't real, obviously.
24:35Do we need to have a talk?
24:52Do you like Halloween?
24:53Do you celebrate Halloween?
24:55Do you like, you know, going to Halloween parties?
24:57Dressing up.
24:58Do you like all that stuff?
24:59Um, no, no, no, no, and no.
25:02I love Halloween.
25:04What?
25:05I love Halloween.
25:05I decorate all my house and everything for all the kids in the street.
25:08I dress up.
25:10Do you know what my typical Halloween experience has been the last 20 odd years in London?
25:14What?
25:14Turning all the lights off downstairs and hiding in my bedroom watching TV.
25:19So, none of the kids trick or treating know I'm in and I don't have to answer the door.
25:24You are like the bleeding.
25:25You're like Scrooge, you.
25:27You are.
25:27You're like the Grinch and Scrooge put together.
25:29It's never occurred to me how miserable that is until I've just said it out loud.
25:33If someone knocks on my door, I'm going to have to be like, oh, sorry.
25:35So I just hide.
25:37I just hide.
25:37Here's some pasta.
25:38I've got some dry pasta.
25:39Here's some dry pasta.
25:40Here's a tin of beans.
25:42You're throwing at them.
25:43Here's some beans.
25:45Tell your friends.
25:46Trick.
25:50Well, it occurred to me that it's really weird.
25:52You love Halloween, but you're like weirdly scared of like non-existent things like spirits
25:57and ghosts.
25:58Yeah, I don't really know.
25:59So I thought, do you know what?
26:00As a treat for you to sort of try and face that head on and just like get over it, I've
26:06arranged for us to stay somewhere tonight.
26:08We're staying at a special hotel tonight.
26:10It's Britain's most haunted house.
26:18We're not.
26:19I won't sleep.
26:20I will not sleep.
26:21I won't sleep, Ralph.
26:22Britain's most haunted house.
26:24Or to look at it another way, just a house in Britain.
26:27Are you mad?
26:27I won't sleep at all.
26:29I'll be awake all night.
26:30I can't stay there.
26:31I can't stay.
26:32But here's a haunted house.
26:33Here's the funny thing.
26:33I will sleep like a log and nothing will happen to me.
26:36How do you know?
26:37That's the thing.
26:38You don't know.
26:39People don't know.
26:40It's the unknown that frightens me.
26:43What day is it today?
26:45What day is it?
26:46Yeah.
26:46What day of the week?
26:47Thursday.
26:48What date is it in the month?
26:50It's the 12th.
26:52So at midnight tonight while we're in the most haunted house in Britain.
26:55It's the 13th.
26:56And it's Friday.
26:57It's Friday the 13th.
26:58I don't believe it.
27:01It's Friday the 13th.
27:02Are you taking a piss?
27:04Do you know that?
27:05No, but when you said I was like,
27:08well, show Mr. 12th today and it's a Thursday.
27:10Oh, my God.
27:10I'll be doing Daniel Beddingfield all night just saying to myself,
27:13I've just got to get through this.
27:14I've just got to say, I've got to get through this.
27:17I've got to get through this.
27:19I've got to get through this.
27:20Seriously, I am telling you now,
27:22this is one of the worst things I could do.
27:24Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
27:40It looks like a haunted house.
27:43It just looks terrifying.
27:46Hello.
27:47Hiya.
27:48Our guide to the spirit world tonight is Paul Dutton.
27:51I believe he's staying the night as well, aren't he?
27:55Apparently.
27:56Yeah, yeah.
27:56Friday the 13th in a couple of hours.
27:59After you.
28:05Do you actually stay here?
28:07No.
28:08No?
28:08I wouldn't stay here, no.
28:09Really?
28:10No.
28:10Why wouldn't you stay here?
28:11It's haunted.
28:13I've seen and experienced.
28:15What do you mean by experience?
28:16What does that mean?
28:17Well, like...
28:18Objects moved, touched, stroked.
28:21You've been touched and stroked?
28:24Fucking Lord, that's not fucking good.
28:26And do things just, like, randomly fly across the room and stuff?
28:29Yeah, there's been numerous deaths reported here,
28:31including murder, suicide.
28:33So it's got lots and lots of ghost stories attached to it.
28:39I think Will hated every second of me being here with him.
28:45And people...and spirits come through?
28:46Spirits? Yeah, they can come through.
28:47No, mate.
28:51You did that, didn't you?
28:52I was nowhere near it.
28:54Did you do that?
28:55He knew I was going to mess with him the whole time.
28:57I can't have that.
28:58And he was right.
29:00I might have done it.
29:01Fucking ball, man.
29:03Do you want to talk about the black-eyed children?
29:05No, it's not.
29:05I don't want to know about the black-eyed children.
29:07Going back to the 1800s, the innkeeper's surname was Lovett.
29:10And one night, he was just sort of finishing off, locking up.
29:14And he sort of glanced at a young child standing,
29:16sort of looking through the window.
29:18So it was pouring with rain, so he opened the door,
29:20and in she come.
29:21Didn't sort of speak.
29:22She was just wet through, soaking wet through.
29:24Ran through here and disappeared through the wall over there.
29:27Now, these black-eyed children locally are known as sort of to bring evil,
29:31and if you see them, you don't let them in.
29:33But he let her in.
29:33Yeah, he let her in.
29:35It has been reported that you see wet footprints.
29:37Go ahead.
29:38Every time he's telling me these stories, I'm just thinking,
29:41shut it, Paul.
29:43Behind us in 1803, there was a baby who was on the table and fell.
29:49What?
29:49Died instantly.
29:50We've got the haunted sort of snug area through there.
29:53There was a baby dropped on its head.
29:55Kids, black-eyed children.
29:58Harbingers of doom, you know, and they heard an argument going on.
30:01Nobody in there at all.
30:03Oh, bollocks to that.
30:04Sometimes people go and look out the window,
30:06and they see a very tall black figure.
30:09This was a prison cell.
30:10So we've got haunted ladies' toilets.
30:13Very sad, often heard sobbing and crying.
30:16Right.
30:18The thing is, as soon as he mentions there's been spirit activity,
30:22a lot of it, in the toilets,
30:24that's me, they're not going to the toilet.
30:27Been walking from the knees down for the last 10 hours,
30:30touching cloth, but I'm not going in that toilet.
30:32No chance.
30:33I'll just wait it out.
30:34I'll ride it out.
30:35It'll go back up eventually.
30:36You see a sort of dent mark here,
30:38like a sort of size of about a baby's head.
30:39Fucking hell, it's young, it's shit-me-self.
30:44HE LAUGHS
30:46HE LAUGHS
30:47HE LAUGHS
30:48HE LAUGHS
30:49HE LAUGHS
30:49HE LAUGHS
30:50Jesus Christ!
30:52HE LAUGHS
30:52HE LAUGHS
30:53HE LAUGHS
30:53Jesus Christ!
30:55Please, you've got to show him.
30:57That's Yarrad on the camera crew.
30:58He's just standing there.
30:59HE LAUGHS
31:00HE LAUGHS
31:02HE LAUGHS
31:02Jesus Christ!
31:04I'm for you!
31:05You're pissing shit in me, Sylve!
31:07He scared you to...
31:09Jesus Christ!
31:11That was awful.
31:12HE LAUGHS
31:13HE LAUGHS
31:14HE LAUGHS
31:15HE LAUGHS
31:16HE LAUGHS
31:17HE LAUGHS
31:18HE LAUGHS
31:19We're going to take you down into the...
31:21right underneath the place.
31:22OK.
31:22Some dark cellars.
31:23Oh, great, yeah, great. Can't wait.
31:25And we're going to do a little bit of a seance.
31:27OK.
31:28What?
31:30HE LAUGHS
31:30HE LAUGHS
31:32HE LAUGHS
31:33HE LAUGHS
31:34There's a small child down here.
31:36Shut it!
31:37What are we doing down here?
31:40We're going to say hello to a few of the spirits that reside.
31:44This is awful down here.
31:46So what we're going to do is we're going to knock the lights off.
31:48What?
31:49Are you mad?
31:51We're going to turn the lights off.
31:52We'll turn the lights off.
31:53We're going to put our hands on the table.
31:55No, seriously, mate, you can't turn the lights off down here.
31:58It's not too dark.
31:59We're going to put our hands on the table very, very lightly.
32:02Yeah.
32:02And then we're just going to invite the spirits to come in to us.
32:05Why would I want to do that?
32:07Why would I want to invite them?
32:08Because we've got to talk to them.
32:09We want to know stuff.
32:10Listen, whether you believe it or not,
32:12I'd rather not be involved in talking to them.
32:15If in doubt, stay the fuck away from it.
32:19So when we're good, can we go dark?
32:22Oh, my God.
32:27I don't want to...
32:27Honestly, this doesn't feel right at all.
32:29All we've got to do is just relax now.
32:32Any spirits that are known to reside at the Four Crosses,
32:36we are inviting you to come forward.
32:40Come and use our energy and just see if you can connect with us in any way.
32:44Walk off.
32:48What was that?
32:50That sounded like a stone.
32:52It did sound like a stone.
32:53Don't be afraid of me.
32:53Did you...
32:54Did you hear that, didn't you?
32:55Yeah.
32:58Whoever's just done that, can you come forward?
33:00Come close to our voices.
33:01You mad?
33:03Come and say hello.
33:05The table's moving.
33:06It's, like, vibrating.
33:10It is, yeah, it is, yeah.
33:11It's not rocking, it's vibrating.
33:12Yeah.
33:14You come close to us.
33:19Who's down here with us now?
33:22Come close.
33:25Yeah, I can hear some knocking on the stairs.
33:27You hear that?
33:27Yeah.
33:28Fuck off!
33:30Seriously, man, that's not funny.
33:32That was too loud.
33:33Seriously.
33:34You're sitting in a pitch black room.
33:37It's cold.
33:38It's damp.
33:40Dark.
33:41There's, like, dripping water.
33:43Before we even get into spirits and ghosts and supernatural stuff,
33:47you're in a quite...
33:48an uncomfortable space.
33:51Why did I shoot him back to this fucking staircase?
33:57And Dickhead here sat with his back to the stairs.
34:00Where did all the activity happen?
34:01Right behind me.
34:02There's something dragging you.
34:05Oh, shh, shh, shh.
34:07I couldn't stop turning around.
34:09I was like a piss in make-up.
34:13I just saw it.
34:15I look on me eye.
34:16There's something right there.
34:17Right there.
34:17There is.
34:18There's something right there.
34:22Who's with us in this celly?
34:23Do you not want us here?
34:24I am shooting myself.
34:25And Ralph even said he saw a shadow, which surprised me.
34:28And that frightened me a bit, because Ralph is a proper sceptic.
34:32That curtain definitely moved.
34:36The thing is, I didn't want to just sit there and just dismiss everything.
34:39So nothing I said in the seance was a lie.
34:46So when I went, that curtain's definitely moving.
34:48That was true.
34:50But I also understand, like, what a breeze looks like.
34:53We've got to go that way to get out.
34:55Oh, that was awful.
35:01I saw a massive shadow on the stairs then.
35:03A massive one.
35:04It was like it moved, seriously, right towards us.
35:07Oh, no, that's enough.
35:09Piss off.
35:10I think there's definitely some kind of paranormal activity in here.
35:13100%.
35:14I can't explain it.
35:15So, yeah, sceptics would say, well, someone was in that room.
35:19And I know there was no one in that room.
35:20So how else do you explain it?
35:22Let's be reasonable.
35:23There's eight crew members in this house as well.
35:25Probably one of the shadows was something to do with that.
35:30Off to bed then.
35:31Shall we go meet the black-eyed children?
35:33No, let's not go meet the black-eyed pissing children.
35:50OK, come on up.
35:51Room one that we're going to take you into next is probably the most haunted one.
36:06Don't like it in here.
36:08You don't like it in there.
36:09Oh, fuck that, Ralph.
36:13You can go in there.
36:14Go on.
36:15Seriously, look at that.
36:16I don't want to go in there.
36:18It's terrifying.
36:19It's horrible.
36:20You go first.
36:22It's horrible.
36:23You go first.
36:23Oh, my God.
36:30Look at these dolls.
36:34So people that do sleep in this room do actually get the black-eyed children coming to visit.
36:39They just sit on the bed, took the duvet, just generally sort of clay.
36:47I was just like, I can't see myself staying here.
36:50I really couldn't.
36:50I am not sleeping here with you.
36:53Get that out of your mind right now.
36:54I know what's coming.
36:56Because I guarantee you'll fuck with me all night.
37:00It's not funny.
37:02What if I promise not to?
37:04Like, after we actually, like, go to bed, what if I promise not to mess up?
37:07Ralph.
37:07Ralph.
37:08Seriously, Ralph.
37:09Do you not understand?
37:10It's awful in here.
37:12Awful.
37:13What the fuck are we doing?
37:19If you could design a room.
37:22To terrify you.
37:23It's this one.
37:23Specifically you.
37:25These beds even look like churches.
37:27Well, I mean, look.
37:29I don't like dark, you know I don't even like dark furniture.
37:33Look at this room.
37:33Literally, this is terrify Will bingo.
37:37Dolls, beams, dark furniture.
37:39And a cross.
37:39A cross.
37:40Awful.
37:41What am I doing here?
37:43We're not filming in the middle of the fucking night.
37:55Well, we've got to catch any paranormal activity.
37:58What the paranormal activity?
38:01What am I looking at here?
38:02Why is it hungry?
38:03You tied a little bit of your face out of it.
38:05I don't want to have anything out of the bed.
38:08Right, okay.
38:11Shall I just leave the camera on, do you think?
38:13Good night, Bert.
38:17At midnight, it was going to be Friday the 13th.
38:20I don't know if that was planned, whether that was just by accident.
38:23I don't know.
38:24But it didn't help me cause.
38:25Because I thought, well, if there is anything, it's tonight they're coming.
38:28It was weird.
38:47I've never been so alert in all my life because when it's dark, all your senses heighten.
38:52So, even though you could hardly see anything, you try to see more.
38:57But I had to try and wait for Ralph to go to sleep before I could properly try to relax.
39:06But then I'm thinking shit.
39:08Now I'm on my own with these pissing kids.
39:11With the black eyes.
39:11Yeah, it was horrible.
39:17For hours, I just lay there.
39:19Just waiting.
39:27This is now God's honest truth.
39:30I had earplugs in and I've got these special earplugs that block out as much noise as possible.
39:34And I must have gone to sleep.
39:42What the fuck is going on?
39:43There was a noise, like as loud as this, like that, because I went, and I've got my earplugs in.
39:51And it opened it and I thought, that's Ralph and he's fast asleep.
39:54That happened three times through the night.
39:58And I can't explain it.
40:00It was like someone wanted to wake me up or someone fucking with me.
40:05And it wasn't Ralph.
40:13I was getting a bit braver as the night went on.
40:19I was getting a bit more settled into, right, we're here now.
40:22There's no getting away from it.
40:26Now, of course, there's a part of me, right, that wanted to just go, let's just stop.
40:31But I can't do something and say, let's just push ourselves out of our comfort zone.
40:37And then when it doesn't suit me, go, let's just leave this one.
40:39I can't do that.
40:40So, once you're in, you're in, aren't you?
40:44Morning has broken like the first morning.
41:12Blackbird has broken like the first bird.
41:21Praise for the singing.
41:26Praise for the morning.
41:29Praise for the springing.
41:34Fresh from the...
41:35Fuck up.
41:36Fucking knobhead.
41:38Fucking hell.
41:40Morning.
41:40Morning.
41:41How did you sleep?
41:43Shit.
41:44You dickhead.
41:45That doll's face is dead hard.
41:48What, did you punch it?
41:49Punched it.
41:49I'm hoping that now I've stayed in one of the most haunted inns in the UK, that I should
41:59be all right now, shouldn't I?
42:00I shouldn't, I shouldn't, my head should just leave me alone.
42:03And the worst that happened was, yeah, there was a few bangs on my bed and that.
42:06I did it, I did it, I survived, yeah, and nothing happened, slept like a baby, lovely, whether I think it's real or not, in Will's reality, he overcame an enormous amount to have done this, and I'm not going to say that to his face, but I do respect it.
42:27Let's have a snuggle, let's have a snuggle, move on.
42:28Get in here, Bert.
42:30I still believe in there is spirits, and I still believe in energies, but I'm not as afraid of them anymore.
42:36It's the unknown that frightens you.
42:38Step into it, and step away, then you have more of a sense of it.
42:42So I'm not as scared as I was.
42:44Saying that, I won't fucking stay here again, though.
42:46Oh, we've done it.
42:51It's over.
42:53I love the 80s.
43:01I ain't afraid of no goes.
43:09I ain't afraid of no goes.
43:12That was heavy.
43:14This is what it's like having a real chopper.
43:18Whoa!
43:20Performing for the first time tonight, Miss Ruby Remington and Tiffany Blue!
43:26Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
43:37Who you gonna call?
43:39Ghostbusters!
43:40If you had a dose of a freaky ghost, baby, you'd better call Ghostbusters!
43:49Ow!
43:49Ready to take the sun.
44:02Ready to take the sun.
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