- 5 months ago
First broadcast 4th March 1974.
Terry and Bob are staying at a country hotel for a fishing weekend.
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
Brigit Forsyth - Thelma
Bill Owen - George Chambers
Carole Ann Ford - Valerie
Ann Hamilton - Beryl Atkins
Terry and Bob are staying at a country hotel for a fishing weekend.
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
Brigit Forsyth - Thelma
Bill Owen - George Chambers
Carole Ann Ford - Valerie
Ann Hamilton - Beryl Atkins
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me, and what became of the people we used to be?
00:16Tomorrow's almost over, the day went by so fast, it's the only thing to look forward to, the past.
00:30The past.
01:00Oh, cheers, pet. Do you want one yourself?
01:16No, thanks. I'm all right, for the moment.
01:18Oh, cheers, then.
01:20Cheers. Here for the weekend, are you?
01:22I'm here, mate. Do a bit of fishing.
01:25Hello, if you get a nibble.
01:28That's what we all do, don't we?
01:31Oh, you got through, did you?
01:33Yes, thanks, this is mine.
01:34What do you want to phone Thelma up for?
01:36Just tell her we'd arrived safely, so she wouldn't worry.
01:38Oh, yes, of course, she'd want to give her all the news, give her all the highlights of our 35-minute car journey.
01:43Just ask her how she was.
01:45Well, that's when you last saw her, just under an hour ago.
01:48I mean, what could possibly have happened in an hour?
01:50What a stupid thing to say.
01:52Well, that's when you last saw Thelma.
01:54I'm not talking about Thelma, I'm talking about your last remark.
01:56What can possibly happen in an hour?
01:58Pearl Harbor happened in an hour?
02:00How long does it take to drop a bomb?
02:02How long do earthquakes take?
02:04Or tidal waves?
02:05Or monsoons?
02:06All right, all right, but it's hardly likely that anything's happened in the last hour, is it?
02:09I mean, it's hardly likely that Thelma's been bombed, or there's a frotilla of Japanese warships steaming up the time.
02:15Oh, God, we're in for a great weekend if you're going to be in one of these moods.
02:18I'm in a great mood.
02:20It's you that's down in the mouth.
02:21Not a smile from you all the way up here.
02:24Even when that juggernaut crushed the vicar's moped.
02:26Not a titler.
02:27Well, I'm coming sleuths lately when we saw that district nurse on her bicycle and caught an exotic glimpse of her navy blue camminicka.
02:35When I drive, I concentrate on the job in hand.
02:37I don't spend the whole journey laughing and giggling.
02:40I'm looking out for glimpses of thick navy blue camminicka.
02:43Oh, it's going to be a great weekend if you're going to be in this mood.
02:46I'm not in a mood, Tay.
02:47It's just you.
02:47You have a habit of bugging me these days.
02:49All right, mate, I'm sorry.
02:52We're here for a weekend's fishing.
02:54And a weekend's fishing's what we're going to have.
02:55Absolutely, kidder.
02:56We shall concentrate on the matter in hand which has landed the biggest trout in the history of angling.
03:01To the fishing?
03:02To the fishing.
03:03God, how long is it since we've done this?
03:05Oh, ages, man.
03:06Since before I went into the army.
03:08Do you know, I haven't had my rod out since then.
03:11I haven't, um, war.
03:14Not since before I got married.
03:16Well, you wouldn't, would you?
03:17You can't keep everything up, can you?
03:18What do you mean?
03:21What do you mean, what do I mean?
03:23You were inferring again.
03:24I wasn't inferring.
03:25You were inferring.
03:26Look, all I meant was that when you get married, you have to, you have to give certain things the elbow.
03:31I mean, it's expected.
03:32That's what marriage is all about.
03:34I don't know why it isn't in the ceremony.
03:36I promise to love, honour and obey and never enjoy myself again.
03:40Really, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I've only just begun to enjoy life since I got married.
03:45My life is one continual round of joy and merriment.
03:49Yeah, well, there wasn't much joy and merriment in your household tonight when you said goodbye to dear Thelma to come away with me.
03:55You're doing it again, aren't you?
03:56You're doing it again, bugging me and mentioning Thelma.
03:58I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
04:02I'm honestly trying to think of nothing else but fish and fish in.
04:05It's just every time I catch a glimpse of that stuffed trout up there, I think of Thelma.
04:15What's the matter with your friend?
04:17Oh, wife trouble.
04:18Oh, are you married?
04:20Not anymore, are you?
04:22Not anymore.
04:23Well, we don't get all that anymore.
04:25Don't get a lot of things anymore.
04:35Oh, you got through, did you?
04:38Yes, thank you.
04:39Well, the telephone wires are still up then.
04:41The earthquake hasn't struck yet.
04:43I simply rang to remind Thelma not to forget to put the catch on the back door.
04:48To protect her from the marauding Japanese sailors, no doubt.
04:51Please go to the basin.
04:52Yes, thank you.
04:53Can you mind getting out of the way, please?
04:55Am I bugging you?
04:56Yes, you are.
04:59Which bed do you want, Bob?
05:00No, I mean, when you're at home with Thelma,
05:03where do you normally sleep on the window side or on the door side?
05:06Oh, I see, on the sofa.
05:10Tom, did you put an early call in for us in the morning?
05:14Yes, six o'clock.
05:15Six o'clock?
05:16Well, we agreed we're here for the fishing, right?
05:19Fresh air and fun.
05:20We're going to relax and enjoy ourselves, right?
05:22Right, right, Bob, right.
05:23Enjoy ourselves.
05:24Joy and merriment.
05:26Which bed are you in, then?
05:27Up to you, kidder.
05:28Well, I'm not worried.
05:29I'm just not worried.
05:29Well, I'll have the one by the window, then.
05:30I'm used to that.
05:31Quick escapes.
05:34Oh, Bob, I shall sleep well tonight, though, but after that meal,
05:38that was a lovely steak, that, you know.
05:40Very tender.
05:41And that thing you had looked like, sir, what was it?
05:44Duck a la orange.
05:45Aye, big albines and all.
05:47That trifle was good.
05:48Oh, wasn't it, eh?
05:49And the cheese.
05:53Said she just opened a tin.
05:54Pardon?
05:56Thelma, when I rang her,
05:58said she just opened a tin of something.
06:00I suspect she wasn't hungry.
06:01Oh, it's not that, is it?
06:03She said it to make me feel guilty, didn't she?
06:05Well, not necessarily.
06:07Maybe she just didn't have anything in.
06:08Of course, she's got stuff in.
06:10She's got tons of stuff in.
06:11Does the shopping every Friday.
06:13Goes to the cash and carry.
06:15With a covered wagon.
06:18We've got a freezer that her father gave.
06:19We've got cupboards full of food you wouldn't believe.
06:21Guess that from her mother hoarding food.
06:23In case World War III breaks out.
06:26Maybe she just felt like a tin of something.
06:29No, she didn't.
06:30She said it to make me feel guilty.
06:31Don't start defending Thelma,
06:33because it does not become you.
06:34Oh, I'm sorry, mate.
06:36I do not feel guilty.
06:38I do not feel guilty.
06:41Why should I feel guilty?
06:44I mean, if a fella can't just go away for a weekend's fishing,
06:47I mean, dear me, once in a blue moon,
06:50I was even going to Paris or something.
06:51It's only a 35-minute car ride.
06:53Yes, I know, I know.
06:55I don't feel guilty.
06:58It's only because I promised I'd take her over
06:59to see her godmother who lives in Hartlepool.
07:02Because she's very old, you see, never goes out.
07:05In Hartlepool, not many people dare go out.
07:09But, I mean, it's Thelma she wants to see.
07:11If I'd been at home, she'd have gone on her own, probably,
07:13and I'd have stayed at home and papered the back bedroom.
07:16Oh, you had that to do and all, did you?
07:18Yes, and fixed the fridge,
07:19because that's gone wrong again.
07:21Well, maybe that's why she opened a tin.
07:23What?
07:24Well, because there was no fresh food in the house,
07:26being as I, you hadn't mended the fridge.
07:28Don't you start making me feel guilty, mate.
07:31Whose side are you on?
07:32Don't you start defending Thelma,
07:34because it does not become you.
07:36Look, mate, I am your friend, Bob,
07:39your friend and fellow angler,
07:40that my loyalties must lie with you.
07:44I don't feel guilty.
07:47Why should I feel guilty?
07:48Oh, for God's sake, Bob, stop telling me
07:50you don't feel guilty in that guilt-ridden voice.
07:53You will keep forgetting that I have been married, mate.
07:55I've been through it all.
07:56I've had a wife, so I'm no stranger to misery.
07:59I will give you one piece of advice,
08:02and then from then on, my lips are sealed.
08:05What advice?
08:06Well, in the early days,
08:08you sort of set the pattern for the rest of your marriage.
08:11I mean, precedences are established.
08:13Now, it is very important that you make absolutely sure
08:17that these precedences are in your favour.
08:20Now, you've still got time.
08:21I mean, you're only just in the opening rounds.
08:23And at least you have come away this weekend.
08:24And that is good,
08:27because that has forced Thelma to accept
08:29that from time to time, on occasion,
08:31every now and then,
08:32you are going to go off and do your own thing,
08:35whether it be fishing or football
08:37or just having a beer with the lads.
08:39Well, as I have a beer with you about four nights a week,
08:42I think I've established that precedent.
08:44Well, quite right and all.
08:45I mean, look at little Norman Gordon.
08:48He hasn't been across the door since he got married.
08:50He's certainly never been near the black horse.
08:52He's a shadow of his former self.
08:55He's probably wore paper in his back bedroom
08:57at this very minute.
08:58Nolan Boyle will be doing the crazy paving
09:01and Frank Clark will be babysitting
09:03and Barry Pringle still converting his attic.
09:07Well, Barry will always be in that attic.
09:09With him, it's an obsession.
09:10He's withdrawn from life.
09:12Thelma met Pauline the other day in the cash and carry
09:14and she said that he's never out of it.
09:16She says she hasn't sent his meal up on a tray.
09:19Ah, well, if you were married to Pauline,
09:21you'd stay in the attic.
09:22I hope you don't think that my marriage is like that.
09:26No, no, no, of course, like you told me.
09:28Your household is full of joy and merriment.
09:30So it is, most of the time.
09:33But you're right, you're right.
09:34Precedence should be established.
09:36I'm glad I've come away.
09:37Assert my masculinity right.
09:40I mean, she's perfectly capable of going over to Hartleypool
09:43on her own even in these violent times.
09:45She's perfectly capable of making herself a meal.
09:48She's perfectly capable of looking after herself for one weekend.
09:51I mean, what can happen?
09:53Yes, look, kid, well, if we've got to be up at six in the morning,
09:56I think we'd better get some sleep.
09:59Good night, kid.
09:59I said good night.
10:10What's the matter?
10:11Have you got two pee?
10:12I think I ought to ring her.
10:13I think I ought to ring her.
10:43Oh, Tarlow.
10:45Did you have a good day?
10:46No, I've got plenty of fresh air, not much else.
10:48One or two tiddlers.
10:50Lost me touch, I suppose.
10:51Haven't done it for years.
10:53You should always keep your hand in.
10:54Oh, I expect they'll come back to me.
10:56Once you start doing it regularly.
11:03What are you two on about?
11:06I think we were talking about fishing,
11:08but you can never tell by that one.
11:09Keep saying these things.
11:11You'll get nothing there.
11:13Yeah, you'll get nothing there.
11:15Oh, I gather by your tone that you got through to Thelma.
11:18What do you mean, you gather from my tone
11:20that I got through to Thelma?
11:20You're in such a foul mood.
11:22You obviously got through.
11:23I wish to God you hadn't.
11:24Oh, I don't know.
11:25Sometimes Thelma, she really, she really bugs you.
11:28Yes.
11:29What are you doing, she says.
11:31What do you think we're doing, I said?
11:32We're fishing.
11:32That's what we're doing.
11:33I mean, what possible mischief can I get up to
11:34stuck in the middle of the tine in waders?
11:37What am I going to do?
11:37Have it off with the trout?
11:40Without luck, mate, we couldn't even land one.
11:43I says to a dearest heart,
11:44can't you understand that there are some equations
11:46when it's just the lads,
11:47but there are some things that just lads like doing?
11:49And what did she say?
11:50Yes, and I know what just lads like doing.
11:54I said to a dearest heart this weekend
11:56is just fresh air and fun and fishing,
11:58not a question of fornication.
12:00Right, kid, right.
12:02Oh, look at that.
12:03What?
12:04Oh, it's just come in.
12:05Oh, yes, not bad.
12:07Nice legs.
12:08Yes, yes.
12:09It's important, that, legs in a woman.
12:12Nice face and all.
12:14Naughty little mouth.
12:16Yes, very naughty.
12:20Sorry, what were you saying?
12:21Well, oh, Thelma.
12:23Why does she always automatically assume
12:24that when you and I are together,
12:26we're chasing other women?
12:27That's the wives, man.
12:28They always assume you're being unfaithful.
12:31Listen, we'd better catch some fish tomorrow,
12:33otherwise we won't have an alibi.
12:34Alibi?
12:35We can always stop at McFisheries on the way back.
12:38Why should I need an alibi?
12:40Men usually do.
12:41Well, I won't.
12:42I mean, that couldn't be unfaithful to Thelma.
12:44That's what makes her insecurity so unfair.
12:47Oh, come on, come on.
12:48You wanted to go down the wee chief the other week
12:50just because it was full of spare.
12:52Well, that's different, isn't it?
12:53Chatting them up and looking.
12:55Well, I couldn't do the deed with another woman.
12:58Rubbish.
12:58No man can pass up the chance of a bit or the other.
13:01Depends entirely on the circumstances.
13:03Given half a chance, everybody would be at it.
13:05Everybody is not at it.
13:09What?
13:11Don't look now.
13:12But that girl over there,
13:16I've just seen the bloke she's with.
13:18What of it?
13:20It's Mr. Chambers, Thelma's father.
13:22Thelma's father?
13:23Keep your voice down.
13:24I don't believe you.
13:25I promise you, it's Thelma's father.
13:27Rubbish.
13:28It is, it is, it's Thelma's father.
13:30I told you, I told you.
13:31He's with that girl.
13:32I know, I know.
13:33The one with the mouth and the legs.
13:34Yes, yes, yes, the very girl.
13:36I don't believe it.
13:39The old rascal.
13:42The cheeky old devil.
13:43Would you believe it?
13:44Would you believe it?
13:46You think it's funny, don't you?
13:47You do, you think it's funny.
13:49Well, I can't see the funny side of it.
13:50Well, I don't think it's funny.
13:51I think it's disgusting and tragic.
13:54There's nothing tragic about spending the weekend with her.
13:57You're only up an army's age.
13:59I mean, she's not bad.
13:59You said so yourself.
14:01I just cannot believe it.
14:02I've told you.
14:03Given half a chance, everybody's at it.
14:04I think I know who she is and all.
14:06She was his temporary.
14:08When everybody else was down with flu at work,
14:10she was his temporary secretary.
14:12She looks a bit more permanent now.
14:15There must be a rational solution.
14:17There is.
14:18He's a randy old devil.
14:21Oh, I've got it.
14:22Of course, of course.
14:22He went to Edinburgh.
14:24Went up to Edinburgh to the building trades fair.
14:26He drove up there Thursday morning.
14:29Well, what's she doing with him then?
14:31Well, it's work, isn't it?
14:32The building trade fair in Edinburgh.
14:34It's business.
14:35He'd need a secretary.
14:36Well, why wouldn't he take his usual secretary?
14:38Well, Miss Avery's old and...
14:40Unattractive.
14:41And unattractive, yes.
14:42No.
14:42Oh, no.
14:43She doesn't travel very well.
14:44She gets car sick.
14:46But why did they stop here?
14:48On the way back from Edinburgh.
14:50This is not on the way back from Edinburgh.
14:53It's the scenic route.
14:54Well, why stop here?
14:56I mean, why not go straight home?
14:57He's only 35 minutes from the bosom of his family.
14:59He's just dropped in for a cup of tea.
15:02Dropped in for a cup of tea while the puncture was mended.
15:05What puncture?
15:08Probably had a puncture.
15:09That's the trouble with the scenic route.
15:11Such bad roads.
15:12Gee me, what an imagination.
15:15Pardon?
15:16Well, the way you've worked it all out.
15:17It's a masterpiece.
15:19It's nothing to work out.
15:20It's a perfectly logical explanation.
15:22All right then, all right.
15:24Why don't you walk over there and say hello to your father-in-law?
15:28You what?
15:30Oh, what could be more natural?
15:31You've just bumped into your father-in-law on his way back from a business trip.
15:35Surely you're going to say hello to him.
15:36Oh, yes, yes.
15:37Obviously.
15:38Of course I'm going to say hello to him.
15:39Like hell you are.
15:40He's so guilty you'd give him heart attack.
15:42He has nothing to feel guilty about.
15:45All right then.
15:45Away.
15:46Away.
15:46Come on.
15:47Come on.
15:47Say hello to him.
15:48All right.
15:48Yeah.
15:49Let's see.
15:50Just say hello.
15:52Hello, Mr. Chambers.
15:53Oh, bloody hell.
15:55I'm sorry.
15:56I'm sorry for getting a shot.
15:57Sorry.
15:57I must have really not to creep up on you, people like that.
16:00I'm just saying to Terry.
16:01There's Mr. Chambers on his way back from Edinburgh.
16:04Obviously very busy having to take a secretary with him in Edinburgh at the building trade fair.
16:07And what a pity he just popped in here for a cup of tea while the puncture was being mended.
16:10But that is the trouble with the scenic route, isn't it?
16:12Punctures.
16:13What?
16:14What?
16:14Oh, yes.
16:14Yes.
16:15We've been very busy.
16:16We've never stopped.
16:17Have we, Beryl?
16:18I mean, Miss...
16:19Never stopped?
16:20We've never stopped.
16:26What exactly are you doing here, Bob?
16:29Just fishing.
16:29Just Terry and me having a fishing weekend.
16:32Would you like another refill or are you dashing off?
16:34No, no.
16:34Yes, yes.
16:35No, we only just popped in because of the...
16:38The puncture.
16:39The puncture, yes.
16:40Yes.
16:41Yes to the refill or yes to the puncture?
16:42Oh, no, no, no, no.
16:44We've got to get back, you know.
16:46We only popped in for a quick one.
16:48I've had your thing sent up to your room, Mr Mortimer.
16:52Mortimer?
17:06Give us a brandy, will you, pet?
17:08Right.
17:08Did you enjoy your dinner?
17:12Oh, yes.
17:12Very nice, thank you.
17:13Very nice.
17:14Think I ate too much.
17:16Well, I ate his.
17:16He couldn't eat anything.
17:20Do you fancy one yourself?
17:23I think I might.
17:24I'm ready for it now.
17:30Did you get through, did you?
17:31No reply.
17:32Oh, she must be out with one of them Japanese sailors.
17:34Could I have a brandy, please?
17:38A large one.
17:38Put it on my bill, Valerie.
17:40You'll need it.
17:43You know, you shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach.
17:46Lots of things you shouldn't do on an empty stomach.
17:51She keeps saying these things.
17:54Shall we go and sit down over there?
17:55She's driving me mad.
17:58You never know, I might get lucky there.
18:00Nothing would surprise me after this weekend.
18:02Nothing would surprise me, did you see, George?
18:04Just three tables away from his son-in-law,
18:07just sitting there bold as brass,
18:09with his temporary blatant.
18:12Well, he probably thought there was no point in leaving,
18:14seeing as how the cat was out of the bag.
18:15He had been in Edinburgh, though, at the building trade fair.
18:18I never doubted that part of the story for a minute, Bob.
18:20And she is a good secretary.
18:23Phenomenal shorthand.
18:25Doubtless.
18:25I don't think this would be arranged, you know, premeditated.
18:30I think this would just be a moment of weakness.
18:33Yes, well, seeing as I've been away since Thursday,
18:35I would say there have been several moments of weakness.
18:37Yes, they did seem to know each other well, didn't they?
18:39I mean, I could see from where I was sat.
18:42What?
18:43She was touching his knee.
18:45Touching his knee.
18:46With her phenomenal shorthand.
18:49Don't you see how traumatic this is?
18:51This could have a terrible effect on the family,
18:53on me and Thelma, me and him.
18:55He's my boss, Terry.
18:56I could lose my job.
18:57Lose your job?
18:58I think you've just guaranteed yourself a directorship.
19:01How could he?
19:03With that girl.
19:05Doesn't he think of Mrs. Chambers?
19:07I'm sure he thinks of Mrs. Chambers.
19:09That's why he's here with that girl.
19:18There, lads.
19:19Mr. Warwell, did he?
19:20Aye, aye.
19:23Yes, yes, a bit of a coincidence.
19:26Do you mind if I sit down?
19:27No, no.
19:28Let's have a large whiskey and soda, love,
19:30and give the lads a refill, will you?
19:31All right.
19:31All right.
19:33What was I saying?
19:34Small world.
19:35What?
19:35Small world.
19:36Oh, ah, yes, a small world.
19:38I mean, it's quite amazing.
19:40What the bloody hell are you two doing here?
19:43Just fishing, just a fishing weekend.
19:46Someone told me about it.
19:48I've been coming here for years.
19:49I've never met anybody else here before.
19:52I think you were the someone who told me about it.
19:55What?
19:55Oh, now, listen, don't get me wrong.
19:57When I say I've been coming here over the years, you know, it's not been under these circumstances.
20:02There's not been a long succession of Miss Hackens' years.
20:04No, no, no.
20:06It was just that we was working in Edinburgh, working very hard, as a matter of fact, and, well, things developed.
20:13Moment of weakness.
20:15What?
20:16Moment of weakness, I expect.
20:18Ah, you could put it that way, a moment of weakness.
20:20Brought on by overwork and strain.
20:22Brought on by overwork and strain.
20:25Oh, look, you're a man of the world.
20:28You're a married man.
20:30Tell her you're a married man above yourself.
20:32Yes.
20:33I'm married to your daughter.
20:35What?
20:35Oh, no.
20:36Don't get me wrong.
20:37I wasn't inferring for a second.
20:39It's just that, well, married men understand these things.
20:42What these things are about.
20:43Ah, of course we do, Mr. Chambers.
20:45You don't have to explain things to us.
20:47We're only sorry if we spoil your evening, aren't we both?
20:50Yes.
20:50We'll never do it again.
20:52Well, I'm glad that's cleared the air.
20:54It has cleared the air, lads, hasn't it?
20:56Nothing more to be said.
20:58Ah, thanks, look.
20:59Well, there we are.
21:00Here's to men.
21:01And the women, eh?
21:02Oh, aye, and them too.
21:03We mustn't forget them.
21:04Bless their little cotton socks.
21:06Oh!
21:10Er, Beryl, Miss Hackens, this is Terry.
21:13Hello.
21:13And, Bob, I think you know him from the office.
21:16Know the face?
21:19Well, Lee, where do you have, love?
21:21An angel's kiss, please.
21:23What's that?
21:25It's a cocktail, creme de menthe on crushed ice.
21:28It's called an angel's kiss.
21:30Is it now?
21:32Er, Er, Volly, when you've got a minute, love, can I have an angel's kiss?
21:35I'll give you a kiss, but I'm no angel.
21:40She keeps saying these things.
21:43How's the fishing going, Bob?
21:45You caught anything yet?
21:46Do you know, we've not caught a thing.
21:47And we were out there up at six this morning.
21:49Really?
21:50Somebody's going to catch something in a minute.
21:51What?
21:51Here's your Thelma.
21:52Oh, bloody hell.
21:54Oh, thank you.
21:56Valerie, the clock.
21:57What on earth are you doing here?
22:00Eh?
22:02Your mother's not with you, is she?
22:03No, of course not.
22:04I've come to see Bob.
22:05Yes, well, your dad's just on his way back from Edinburgh.
22:08Yes, back from Edinburgh.
22:10Sorry.
22:11Yes, he just dropped in for a puncture.
22:14Yes, I just dropped in.
22:17Yes, yes, just dropped in.
22:19Yes, well, I thought I'd stay over the night, you know, do a bit of fishing with the lad.
22:22Oh, I see, small world.
22:24Yes, sit down, Thelma, sit down.
22:26Sit down, love.
22:27Yes.
22:29What are you doing here, darling?
22:31I told you, I just popped up to see you.
22:33All this way?
22:34Well, it's only half an hour at this time of night.
22:36Yes, but why did you come?
22:37Well, we'll go into that later, shall we?
22:44I'm Thelma, Bob's wife, Thelma Ferris.
22:47Oh, hello.
22:49This is Terry's friend.
22:52Do you want to go to introduce us, Terry?
22:57Yes, yes, of course, yes.
22:59This is, um, um...
23:01Beryl.
23:02Um, Beryl, Beryl, yes.
23:03This is my friend, Beryl.
23:04I'm so sorry, Beryl, I didn't realise you were with Terry.
23:07I'd been led to believe this was boys' weekend.
23:09What is it you said, darling?
23:11Some things just the lads like to do together.
23:13Must have got the wrong end of the stick.
23:15No, it is, but it is.
23:16It's boys' weekend.
23:16It's just the lads.
23:18Just Terry and me.
23:20And Beryl.
23:22Yes, I mean, Beryl's not here for the fishing.
23:24I mean, Beryl's here for the...
23:26Yes, I can imagine.
23:30Why are you here, Thelma?
23:32I came, Dad, because my husband and I have been having a ridiculous running battle on the telephone for the last two days.
23:37So I came here because I felt one of us has to make the effort.
23:41I borrowed Brenda's car and I drove straight here.
23:44I drove here to say I'm sorry because I felt I hadn't been entirely fair.
23:47Darling, what can I say?
23:48You borrowed Brenda's car and drove all this way just to say you're sorry.
23:52You needn't have bothered.
23:53You could have rung.
23:54I didn't mean that.
23:55I didn't mean that at all.
23:57Fancy, fancy...
23:58You didn't even owe me an apology.
24:00I mean, just fancy driving all this way.
24:02And now you've got to drive all the way back.
24:05Don't worry.
24:05I'm not staying.
24:06I wouldn't dream of spoiling boys' weekend.
24:10Oh, no.
24:11Do stay, darling.
24:12Please.
24:12No, I wouldn't dream of it.
24:13I think you're right, Thelma.
24:15I think it's very considerate of you to let the lads have a weekend on their own.
24:19I admire that in a woman.
24:22Would you like a drink before you go, Thelma?
24:24You can't wait, can you, any of you?
24:26It's all right.
24:26I'm going.
24:27No, darling.
24:27Stay, please.
24:28Stay.
24:28Obviously, you must stay.
24:29I insist.
24:30It would be fantastic if you stayed.
24:31No, no.
24:32Please, please.
24:33Well, all right, if you insist.
24:36I'll get my overnight bag.
24:48What do you want?
24:49I'd like me toothbrush, thank you, and me book.
24:52Now, now, now.
25:01Here you are.
25:02Oh, you've only lost me place.
25:04Thelma all right, is she?
25:06Yes, keep your voice down.
25:07Is George still here?
25:08Well, of course he is.
25:09He's not going to leave me alone with Beryl, is he?
25:12Oh, this has really wrecked my chances with Valerie, this has.
25:15What chances?
25:15What chances?
25:16She only says to me, I'm in the annex.
25:18Very self-contained, it is.
25:20What's so special about that?
25:22The way she said it.
25:23Oh, the annex.
25:25So near and yet so far.
25:27Oh, don't complain.
25:29You're with that Beryl.
25:30Well, officially, you're...
25:32Are you all right, darling?
25:38Do you want a cup of tea or anything?
25:40I must have been blind.
25:42Pardon?
25:43I must have been blind, not realising at once what's going on here.
25:48Not realising?
25:49Terry's not with that girl.
25:51He is, he is.
25:52That's his friend, Beryl.
25:53Look, I may be blind, Bob, but I'm not a fool.
25:56I realise the situation.
25:59You realise?
26:00I realise.
26:01The situation.
26:02The situation.
26:04Yes, well, I realise what a shock that must be to you, Thelma.
26:07Don't think I don't realise that.
26:08But, well, men are men.
26:10These things happen.
26:12These things happen?
26:13How many other girls have you brought here?
26:16Oh, what?
26:17Me?
26:17Now, don't lie to me, Bob.
26:19It's quite obvious that girl's here with you.
26:21She didn't ask swear to you.
26:22Oh, don't lie to me, Bob.
26:24All this covering up.
26:25Terry didn't even know her name.
26:27Well, you know Terry.
26:28He doesn't always ask their names.
26:31You could have been married a matter of weeks.
26:32How could you?
26:34Where are you going?
26:35I'm going to see my father.
26:36Darling, darling, don't go in there, please.
26:37I beg of you.
26:38Don't touch me.
26:39Darling, please, I beg of you.
26:40Take my word for it.
26:42If you do, you might see something which will haunt you for the rest of your life.
26:46Oh, leave me alone.
26:47Daddy?
26:48Thelma.
26:48Hello, Thelma.
26:49Couldn't you sleep?
26:50Oh, Dad, how could you?
26:52Thelma, don't jump to conclusions.
26:54Things are not what they seem.
26:56There's nothing between Terry and I.
26:57I've been covering up for him, my husband.
26:59This just proves what I thought.
27:01If Terry was with that girl, he'd be with her now.
27:03That's all a commotion.
27:05I know.
27:06I know the situation.
27:07I know you're with my husband.
27:10Well, someone tell her I'm not.
27:12He's not.
27:12Look, I'll explain this situation.
27:14Now, look, Beryl, make me miss Hacking.
27:16I'm with him.
27:18Only we had a row because he would keep chatting up that barmaid.
27:21So I locked him out.
27:23But I've just come to say all's forgiven now, pet.
27:31Yes, well, if you'll excuse me, Mr. Chambers, I think I'll say goodnight.
27:37Goodnight.
27:38Goodnight, Thelma.
27:41Goodnight, Robert.
27:42Sweet dreams.
27:43Goodnight.
27:46After you, um...
27:49Beryl.
27:50Oh, dear.
27:53Oh, dear.
27:55Oh, I've made a bit of a fool in myself tonight.
27:58There, there, darling.
28:00And I really did come to apologise to you.
28:03I know, I know.
28:04It doesn't matter.
28:04I suppose the trouble was I just didn't trust you enough.
28:10Darling, without a little bit of trust, a little bit of basic trust, where are we?
28:13Just have to learn to respect my word.
28:15Give me the benefit of the doubt.
28:17I might be guilty of many weaknesses.
28:20But chasing other women isn't one of them.
28:23Tsk.
28:30I thought you were coming to the Amex.
28:32She thought I was Terry.
28:39Right.
28:39Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me?
28:47What became a black people we used to be?
28:56Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me?
29:03What became a black people we used to be?
29:11Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me?
29:17Oh, what happened to you?
29:23Oh, what happened to you?
29:24I was like, oh, I'm sorry.
29:26What happened to you, a guy?
29:29I'm not.
29:30I'm sorry.
29:33Oh, I promise.
29:34I don't know what happened to you.
29:35I don't know what happened to me.
29:38I just did that.
29:41I was a little psychotic one thing when you put you off.
29:44I don't know what happened to me, I'm a little coach.
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