- 5 months ago
First broadcast 14th January 1974.
Thelma and Bob are on honeymoon in Norway but Bob has omitted to tell his wife that he gave Terry a key to the house whilst they were away.
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Brigit Forsyth - Thelma
Bill Owen - George Chambers
Anita Carey - Susan Chambers
Terry Scully - Chauffeur
Constantine Gregory - Hotel Porter (as Constantin De Goguel)
Thelma and Bob are on honeymoon in Norway but Bob has omitted to tell his wife that he gave Terry a key to the house whilst they were away.
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Brigit Forsyth - Thelma
Bill Owen - George Chambers
Anita Carey - Susan Chambers
Terry Scully - Chauffeur
Constantine Gregory - Hotel Porter (as Constantin De Goguel)
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me, and what became of the people we used
00:14to be.
00:16Tomorrow's almost over, the day went by so fast, it's the only thing to look forward
00:26to the past.
00:56Bye, Terry.
01:00Cheers, Terry.
01:09All right, then. Let's get back to the reception before the booze runs out.
01:12Get off all right, did they?
01:24Aye, for better or worse.
01:27Where have they gone for their honeymoon? Norway, is it?
01:30Aye.
01:32Oh, no.
01:34What's up?
01:35He's only forgotten his manual.
01:37Why would you need a manual?
01:39Well, they haven't had any practical experience.
01:42Why?
01:43Mind you, what you can learn from books and a few indoor exercises.
01:47Especially with his sense of balance.
01:50I went with him the other week, you know.
01:52Went for a practice.
01:54Found a slope.
01:56An old slaggy, just off the AWOL.
01:59Never off his back.
02:02Mind you, neither was she.
02:03I spent all the time picking them up and dusting them down.
02:07They ain't your duties as best man very seriously.
02:10God knows how they'll get on over there.
02:13In and out of them sticks.
02:26Don't be so nervous, pet.
02:28You can unfasten your seatbelt if you like and smoke if you wish.
02:30I'll keep mine on.
02:32There might be turbulence ahead.
02:34There's nothing to worry about.
02:36We're up now.
02:37What can happen?
02:39Oh, only a collision or pilot error or sabotage or metal fatigue.
02:43You've got far more chance of being killed in a motor car than you have in an aeroplane.
02:46It's a well-known fact.
02:48That wing's wobbling.
02:51It's supposed to.
02:52It doesn't mean it's got fatigue.
02:53It means it's windy out there.
02:55Oh, look.
02:56There's a North Sea oil ring.
02:58I don't want to look, thank you.
02:59Oh, it's just like that.
03:00They're troubleshooters.
03:01I don't want to look.
03:02When I fly, I try to pretend I'm in some sort of tubular bus.
03:06I try to forget that I'm really at 30,000 feet and my life hangs by a thread.
03:10The trouble with nervous flyers is they unsettle everyone else.
03:13How do you mean?
03:14Well, insisting so loudly we sat next to the emergency exit.
03:18You could see how it unsettled people.
03:20And then when the stewardess did that life jacket drill and you got up and did it with her.
03:24I mean, you don't nerve the whole aeroplane.
03:27When we're plummeting towards the icy waves of the North Sea, you'll thank me for being sat next to the emergency exit.
03:33No one wants to face up to it.
03:34Face up to what, darling?
03:35Danger!
03:36Reality!
03:37Peril!
03:38Look, safety's the big thing about flying, right?
03:39But nobody wants to admit it.
03:41Oh, no.
03:42You never see a glossy ad for an airline saying,
03:44Fly with us.
03:45We haven't had a crash recently.
03:47They're always trying to seduce you into trivial things like the food and the stewardess's M lines.
03:51Still, just take your mind off metal fatigue.
04:01Has everybody gone, Mr. Chambers?
04:03Aye, they've drunk this dry, lad.
04:06Except for my secret, Lord.
04:08Hey, you!
04:10Get yourself a glass.
04:14You're still here, little butt.
04:16Ah, what?
04:17Ah, yeah.
04:18Just quietly reflecting on life.
04:21And counting the cost of having a daughter.
04:24What about your other daughter?
04:27What?
04:28Other daughter?
04:30Susan, the bridesmaid.
04:32Found her sister.
04:34Oh, Susan!
04:35Ah, she'll be next.
04:36Where is she, by the way?
04:37I don't know. I was asking you.
04:39She'll be back at the house with all the other relatives.
04:41That's another reason I'm here.
04:43Oh, they're a desperate lot, they are.
04:45You married?
04:48Separated.
04:50Oh, I remember.
04:51Ah, just one of those things.
04:53Ah.
04:54Marriage is a funny business.
04:57No, it's not funny at all.
05:00I think marriage is a wonderful thing.
05:02Beats the hell out of being blind and crippled any time.
05:04They'll be all right, them two.
05:08Thelma and, er...
05:10What's it?
05:11Erm, Bob.
05:12My, Bob.
05:13Bob, yeah, he's a nice lad.
05:15So, Susan's gone back to the house, has she?
05:18Susan?
05:20Your other daughter.
05:22Your unmarried single daughter.
05:24Oh, Susan!
05:25Ah, she'll be back at the house.
05:26Oh, no, I thought I'd better see if things were all right, like, you know,
05:28what with me being best man and her being bridesmaid.
05:31I know what you thought.
05:33Eh?
05:35You thought you'd go wheeling in there, didn't you?
05:37Eh?
05:40She's engaged, you know.
05:41I know, but he's in Toronto, isn't he?
05:43Whoa!
05:45Ah, well, you might be lucky and catch her with her loyalties down.
05:50There's nothing like a wedding for making people randy!
05:55Look at these two here!
05:58Well, they're married, surely?
06:00Not to each other.
06:02Ah, well, cheers.
06:04Cheers.
06:06Here, have a drop more.
06:07All right, then.
06:09I have some friends.
06:11What?
06:12Bob and Thelma.
06:14Oh, aye, I have some friends.
06:15I thought you were talking about my relative.
06:17We'll get 30,000 feet now.
06:19Bob will be in the throes of his in-flight panic,
06:21because he's a terrible fly, you know.
06:23Always sits next to the aisle,
06:24won't look out of the window and won't leave his seat.
06:27What happens when he wants to go to the lavatory?
06:29He doesn't go.
06:30He doesn't go?
06:31He doesn't want to cause any unnecessary movement.
06:33He can't go on very long flights, then, can he?
06:36No, that's why they're only going to Norway.
06:37It's within his bladder range.
06:41Come on, then.
06:42I'd better get you back to the house.
06:43I know why you want to get back to my house.
06:46You want to get the grips of my daughter Susan, don't you?
06:49What's that about your Susan?
06:50Oh, wouldn't you like to know, eh?
06:52Hello, Susan.
06:53Dad, I have strict instructions to get you home, dead or alive.
06:57Preferably dead.
06:58Mum says they're your relatives she's looking after.
07:01Oh, aye, oh, aye.
07:02I'll just go and water me horse.
07:05Now, come on there, Maisie Mill.
07:07They'll chuck you out the Derby a joke club, you know.
07:12Did they get off all right, then?
07:14Aye, for better or worse.
07:16What are you going to do now, then, without him?
07:19Well, I thought I'd start going out with girls.
07:22I thought I'd start right away.
07:24I thought I'd start by asking somebody not a million miles away what she's doing tonight.
07:28Er, Maisie, what are you doing tonight?
07:31Seriously, I mean, do you fancy going out a bit later?
07:34You know, for a drink or a meal or anything you like?
07:37Oh, I can't, Terry. Honestly.
07:39I'd love to, but, well, I've got to give me Mam a hand with that house full.
07:42Well, maybe later.
07:43All right.
07:44Not that there's anywhere to go later.
07:47Well, there might be.
07:49I've got the key to Bob's house.
07:51Well, I see your mother's place somewhere, but he told me if ever I wanted it,
07:54I could pick it up and, er, use his house.
07:57Use it for what?
07:58Well, you know, there's the colour telly or the new stereo.
08:02I could show you Thelma's new stair carpeting.
08:05I've seen Thelma's new stair carpeting.
08:08Never by moonlight.
08:10You've got all the platter, haven't you?
08:13You know you've been wasting it on Bob all these years.
08:24Thanks very much.
08:25Oh, go to Norti.
08:29Please?
08:30Go to Norti.
08:34I think he means goodnight in Norwegian.
08:37Ah, goodnight.
08:40Well, that's what I said, more or less.
08:42They're not very bright, these Norwegians, are they?
08:44Darling, you've only met two, him and the receptionist.
08:46He wasn't so clever either.
08:48Well, perhaps he didn't understand you.
08:49Perhaps it's your pronunciation.
08:50I said it quite clearly.
08:51I said it quite clearly.
08:52Nor gottodden.
08:53What time's dinner?
08:54Nor gottodden.
08:55Oh, Bob.
08:56What's so funny?
08:57You were asking him, what time does this train leave?
08:59I blame him for looking a bit puzzled.
09:00I wasn't far out.
09:01It's a stupid language anyway.
09:02Oh, come on.
09:03We've arrived.
09:04We're on our honeymoon.
09:05What's Norwegian for do not disturb?
09:06Hmm?
09:07Shouldn't you have carried me across the threshold?
09:08I would have done, but I still feel a bit queasy from that turbulence.
09:10Did you pack the stomach powders?
09:11Oh, Bob.
09:12You do know how to sweep a girl off her feet.
09:13Well, I will do when my tummy's settled.
09:14Oh.
09:15Well, it's a nice room, isn't it?
09:16There's lots of cupboard space.
09:17Where's the television?
09:18We don't need television, Pat.
09:19Besides, it's a nice room, isn't it?
09:20We've arrived.
09:21We've arrived.
09:22We're on our honeymoon.
09:23What's Norwegian for do not disturb?
09:24Hmm?
09:25Shouldn't you have carried me across the threshold?
09:26I would have done, but I still feel a bit queasy from that turbulence.
09:29Did you pack the stomach powders?
09:30Oh, Bob.
09:31You do know how to sweep a girl off her feet?
09:33Well, I will do when my tummy's settled.
09:35Oh, look.
09:36Take one of these.
09:37You shouldn't have had so much to drink in the aeroplane.
09:38Why, you said, Chief, I couldn't resist it?
09:40Oh, the thing is so nice.
09:41I'm not going to do the other day.
09:42And the world's in space.
09:43Where's the television?
09:44We don't need television, Pat.
09:45Besides, it would be a Norwegian.
09:46The dining room looked nice, didn't it?
09:47And the troll bar.
09:48Well, surely Westerns would be in English.
09:49Now, shall I wear my Akrisky tonight, even though we haven't yet?
09:50Pardon?
09:51I said, even though we haven't yet.
09:52Well, we will do when my tummy's settled.
09:54Take one of these.
09:56You shouldn't have had so much to drink in the aeroplane.
09:58Look, take one of these.
10:00You shouldn't have had so much to drink in the aeroplane.
10:03Why, Mr. Chief, I couldn't resist it.
10:05You couldn't resist that stewardess's cleavage, you mean.
10:08You've always had a thing about girls in uniforms.
10:10Who has?
10:11You have.
10:12No, I haven't.
10:13Not uniforms, smocks, yes.
10:15Girls in florist shops and hairdressers,
10:18in those thin pale blue nylon things,
10:20because you know they've taken their dress off underneath.
10:23Yes, I do like smocks.
10:25I wish you brought one with me.
10:27No, it's Terry that's got a thing about uniforms,
10:29garage pump attendants and bus conductresses.
10:32The other day we were in Granger Street on the way to the mash
10:34and he saw this coloured meter made.
10:36Just stopped him in his tracks
10:38and his eyes glazed over with purple lust.
10:41Does he count a bridesmaid's dress as uniform?
10:44Why?
10:44It was just the way he was looking at Susan this afternoon.
10:47Oh, well, he'll be all right there.
10:49Are you?
10:50With Susan, she was hardly indifferent.
10:51I mean, I thought it was on.
10:53Thought it was on?
10:54Thought what was on?
10:55On.
10:56You know, on.
10:57A fellow looks at a girl and he can tell if it's on or not.
11:01Like with that coloured meter made.
11:03Oh, it was on with her, was it?
11:04Well, it would have been if we hadn't been late for the match.
11:07Typical male chauvinistic conceit.
11:09Oh, Thelma, Pat, don't let's have a row.
11:10Don't let's worry about Terry Collier and Susan.
11:13Terry's probably sitting comfortably at this moment
11:15waiting for match of the day on our colour telly.
11:17How?
11:18How can he be watching our colour telly?
11:21Oh, I, er...
11:22I left the key for him.
11:25Didn't I tell you?
11:26Most certainly didn't.
11:27You left him the key to our lovely new home?
11:29Well, he's doing us a favour, Pat.
11:31I mean, it's best to keep the place aired and people who are delivering things all week.
11:34And you'll be abusing our new king-sized bed with a procession of uniformed women.
11:38Thelma, please.
11:40I didn't want to leave the house unattended.
11:42A house full of lovely presents in these days of rising crime.
11:44Oh, even though he's a hundred miles away, he's still here, isn't he?
11:47No, he isn't.
11:48It's just you and me here, together, in our honeymoon hotel.
11:54That's better.
11:56Oh, Thelma.
11:57You think it's on, do you?
11:59Hey, Pat, where'd you get these vulgar expressions?
12:03From my husband.
12:05Never mind about apres-ski.
12:06What about before dinner?
12:07Oh, I'm glad your stomach's settled.
12:11Hello, operator.
12:13I'd like to make a call to Norway, please.
12:17Yes, Norway.
12:19Reros, R-E-R-O-S, 3-1-5-6.
12:26What?
12:27Oh, this is 5-1-7-1-7.
12:32Yeah, it's a personal call to a Mr Ferris.
12:36Yes, as in wheel.
12:38My name is Collier.
12:41Yes, as in pit.
12:42Mum says she's no recollection of Bob giving her the key.
12:49Oh, there's no mad rush.
12:50Could you just spend the last hour looking for her?
12:52Well, there's no panic.
12:53I mean, there's no urgency.
12:54She'll probably remember in the morning.
12:56I think it's all been a bit much for her.
12:58But with the wedding and Dad's relatives and the reception,
13:02and me Aunt May's fox terrier getting half suffocated.
13:04I didn't mean to sit on him.
13:07No one blames you.
13:08The dog did.
13:10And your mother certainly did.
13:11Well, Terry, I'm afraid you're not one of my mother's favourite people.
13:15Don't tell me.
13:16And when she clears up in the morning,
13:17every drink stain, every fag burn,
13:20and every ground in vol-a-vault will be down to me.
13:23Not to mention a missing goldfish.
13:26Oh, well, he'll turn up somewhere.
13:27Does he often go off on his own right there?
13:30Never done it before.
13:31Look, I'm going to leave this room for the morning.
13:35Let's go and have that drink.
13:37We've got time and we could certainly do it.
13:38Oh, well, look, don't you think you'd better go and get your coat and things first?
13:41Oh, I don't think I need it.
13:43We'll take Dad's car.
13:44Oh, you need a coat.
13:44It's bitter out.
13:45All right.
13:47I'd better put my face on.
13:48Yes, you'd better.
13:55Ring, you bastard.
13:56What do they pay you for?
14:00Mr. Chambers.
14:02George.
14:03Well, what is it?
14:04What?
14:04I haven't missed much of the day, have I?
14:05No, no, no, no.
14:06I'm sorry, look, but I wanted to ask you something.
14:09Where's the wife?
14:10Upstairs in bed.
14:10Right, get me a bottle opener.
14:12Look, um, Bob didn't leave you a key, did he?
14:15The key to his new house.
14:17Key?
14:18Key?
14:18Well, I was supposed to pick it up, you see.
14:20Why?
14:21Well, to let people in.
14:23Deliveries and such like.
14:24Who the hell's going to deliver stuff at this time of night?
14:27Some people might, but some people get the chance.
14:29Here, I just recollect.
14:33Have a look at that jacket pocket.
14:34That jacket pocket there.
14:37Any luck?
14:39There's a betting slip.
14:40Oh, you can throw that away.
14:41I'll offer smoked salmon sandwich.
14:44Here, have a look at that top drawer.
14:47That top drawer there.
14:51Is it there?
14:51No, but the goldfish is.
14:58Oh, dear.
15:00How is he?
15:01He's not too clever to me.
15:02He's a bit of green around the gills.
15:05Oh, nobody will notice.
15:06He was never very active.
15:10Here it is.
15:11Oh, hey, Susan.
15:20Are you going to have that drink or not?
15:21I'm just putting my face on.
15:22You needn't bother with that.
15:24You look marvellous.
15:25Oh, I think that might be for me.
15:28Hello?
15:29Hello?
15:31Oh, no.
15:32Forget it, operator.
15:33No.
15:33Well, just say that Mr Collier called
15:36and there's nothing to worry about.
15:43You sure there was no other message, Pat?
15:45Of course I'm sure.
15:46You're not keeping something from me, Bob, are you?
15:48There was no other message.
15:50Only that a Mr Collier rang and said
15:52not to worry.
15:55Terry rings up in the middle of the night from England
15:57and says not to worry.
15:58I'm worried.
15:58Sit.
15:58Well, it would probably just be a honeymoon gag.
16:01He was probably furious we weren't in bed.
16:03No, I think it's something to do with the house.
16:06What, love?
16:06The house, our lovely new house,
16:08the key to which you gave him.
16:09We've been through all that, Thelma.
16:11Did you tell him how to use the immersion heater?
16:13The what?
16:14Yes, of course.
16:16And the central heating?
16:17Yes.
16:17And where the stopcock is?
16:19Look, Terry's perfectly capable of finding a stopcock.
16:22Should the need arise.
16:25The house has probably been flooded by now,
16:28but not to worry.
16:29Look, Petal, if there'd been something seriously wrong,
16:31he would have rung again.
16:32Our phone call was over an hour ago.
16:34The house has probably been burnt to the ground.
16:36But not to worry.
16:45You shan't be able to sleep.
16:47It wasn't sleep I had in mind.
16:48I won't be able to do that either.
16:52Of course you will.
16:53Oh, you had enough of that before dinner.
16:55Oh, I see.
16:56I see you're going to be the sort of wife that rations it.
16:59And you're going to be the sort of husband who's insensitive to a woman's moods.
17:04Well, I would have thought that on the first night of our honeymoon...
17:07Look, Bob, I've got other things on my mind.
17:09Now is not the right time.
17:11According to our young marriage advice book, Lee, it said it's wrong to assume there's a right time and a right place.
17:16Oh, fine, fine.
17:16It said the sitting rooms...
17:17We'll go down to the troll bar now.
17:19Or we'll do it on the aeroplane going back and take your mind off metal fatigue.
17:24You know, fine.
17:25Well, that's not what I meant.
17:26I just thought, Thelma, that you would have been more liberated.
17:31Oh, you're liberated, are you?
17:35I think so, yes.
17:37Coming from the man who brought three pairs of paisley pyjamas on his honeymoon.
17:47Pardon?
17:49And earmuffs and stomach powders.
17:52The earmuffs are for the nursery slopes.
17:55Where you'll want to make love tomorrow morning, no doubt.
18:01I'm afraid it's still a bit, uh, unlived in.
18:06It's just like a stand at the Ideal Home Exhibition.
18:09Oh, I'll be a bit more cosy when I've drawn the curtains.
18:11You know, you don't feel you should sit on the seats in case you crease them.
18:14They're there to be sat on.
18:16There's some more presents.
18:18Blankets.
18:19Would you, um, would you like a drink, Susan?
18:21Oh, I don't think Bob will have anything in, will he?
18:23Oh, he's bound to have something tucked away somewhere for emergencies.
18:27Yes, there we are, Bob.
18:31Well, this feels like linen.
18:35Oh, wine glasses, that's useful.
18:37Yes, isn't it?
18:37Hold this.
18:40You can't open the presents.
18:41Why not?
18:42They're going to be open sometime.
18:43Say when.
18:48When.
18:49There you go.
18:53Are you sure vodka can afford this?
18:55It's very good for you, vodka.
18:56Very good effect.
18:58I was only a welder in a tinplate factory when I discovered it.
19:00Well, is there nothing to put in it?
19:02It's the best way to drink it, mate.
19:04Then we can smash the glasses in the fireplace.
19:07Does Thelma know you've got the key to the house?
19:10I don't know why.
19:11Well, it's just she's so house-proud.
19:13Well, I'm doing them a favour, aren't I?
19:14Peak hours for crime this time of night.
19:16All these new things lying about.
19:18Yeah, well, I wouldn't put your glass on there.
19:19Not on that new coffee table.
19:21Come on, then.
19:21Come and sit down.
19:22Make yourself at home.
19:26Cheers.
19:27Cheers.
19:27Absent friends.
19:28Absent friends.
19:29Oh, I think it's very romantic.
19:35What?
19:36A skiing honeymoon.
19:37Yeah, well, it might have its problems.
19:39Bob left his manual in the taxi.
19:41All that snow and fresh air and shallies
19:44and cosy evenings in the cocktail bar.
19:47And long mornings in the fracture clinic.
19:49But he's bound to break something on this honeymoon, you know.
19:52He'll spend the entire fortnight in traction,
19:55lying there wondering what Thelma's doing with that ski instructor.
19:57What ski instructor?
19:59Well, any of them.
20:00They're all the same ski instructors.
20:02Except for the Norwegians.
20:03They're the worst.
20:04Well, how do you work that out?
20:05Well, they're bound to be.
20:06They're Norsemen, aren't they?
20:07All that Viking blood.
20:09You know what Norsemen are famous for, don't you?
20:11Rape and pillage.
20:13They don't spend all their time canning sardines.
20:16It's only an all-in-charter trip.
20:20You have to pay extra for rape and pillage.
20:23Hey, skiing.
20:25Oh, skiing's marvellous.
20:27We do a lot of it at home.
20:29You mean Canada, do you?
20:31Yes.
20:32We being you and your...
20:34Yes, me and my...
20:36Fiancée.
20:37Well, unofficially.
20:39I mean, nothing's been fixed yet.
20:41What does he do, then?
20:42Oh, he's an accountant.
20:44Hmm?
20:45Well, he's just past his finals.
20:48And he lives in Toronto, does he?
20:50Yes.
20:51But he's English, originally.
20:52From Luton.
20:53Hmm.
20:55No, thank you.
20:56He was only an accountant from Luton
20:57until he discovered vodka.
21:02When are you going back, then?
21:03Not till the 21st.
21:05I suppose he'll be wondering what you're up to now.
21:08No idea.
21:09Well, yeah, why should he?
21:10I mean, you're an adult.
21:11But you've got a mind of your own.
21:13I mean, Toronto is a long way from here.
21:17What I'm trying to say is that what happens here
21:21doesn't have any bearing on what happens there.
21:25What I'm trying to say is the situation here
21:28is not affected by the situation there.
21:32What you're trying to say is out of sight, out of mind.
21:36That's what I'm trying to say, yes.
21:37I think there's a bit of a Norseman in you, Terry.
21:41Possibly, possibly.
21:42A lot of Viking blood round here, you know.
21:43Yeah, well, I'm worried about that vodka stirring up your Viking blood.
21:47Then what'll happen?
21:48Well, I'm not spending all the night down the high street pillaging the co-op.
21:51Oh, sod it.
21:53Who the hell's that?
21:55Hello?
21:56What?
21:57Long distance.
21:59Hello, yeah?
22:01Hello, Bob.
22:02What on earth are you ringing up for?
22:04I was worried.
22:06There's nothing to be worried about.
22:08It's perfectly straightforward.
22:09Now, look, get a pencil and take this down.
22:11One, draw the curtains.
22:14Shut up, you fool.
22:15I was worried because...
22:16I was worried because you rang up and said not to worry.
22:21Well, that's all right.
22:22Then what are you worried for?
22:23Look, mate, you don't ring people up in the middle of the night
22:25and say not to worry unless there's something to worry about.
22:28I was worried sick.
22:30Look, man, all it was, we couldn't find the key to the house,
22:32so I rang you.
22:33But by the time we'd got through, I'd found it in the goldfish bowl,
22:36so I just said not to worry.
22:39Honestly?
22:40Well, honestly, I mean, we're both here in the house now, aren't we?
22:43We?
22:45Susan and me, we're just having the nightcap.
22:47Oh, don't put your glasses on the new coffee table.
22:50All right, all right.
22:53Now, what's Thelma?
22:55Thelma is not speaking to me.
23:00God preserve us.
23:02Now what?
23:03Well, it's your fault, man, for ringing up like that.
23:05You ruined our whole evening.
23:06Well, you haven't exactly helped mine by ringing up now.
23:10Well, I can't help it.
23:12Well, it's not my fault.
23:14Nor is it my fault if Thelma's locked herself in the bathroom.
23:19What?
23:20Well, of course I know where the stopcock is.
23:24Should the need arise.
23:25Look, I won't mess anything up.
23:29What uniformed women?
23:32Look, Bob, Bob, I...
23:34All right, good night.
23:38Well?
23:39Like I said, all along there was nothing to worry about.
23:42He just couldn't find the key.
23:44So he's broken in, I suppose.
23:45No, no, no, he found it.
23:46It's in the goldfish bowl.
23:48They're there now.
23:49They?
23:50Terry and Susan.
23:51Susan?
23:52What's Susan doing there with Terry at this time of night?
23:54Oh, does it matter?
23:55Does it matter?
23:56Of course it matters.
23:57Susan's engaged to Peter.
23:58And Peter's no fool, you know.
24:00He can put two and two together.
24:01I should hope so if he's a qualified accountant.
24:05It's typical of you to be flippant about infidelity.
24:08Look, they're only having a nightcap.
24:09What?
24:09And no, they didn't put the glasses on the new coffee table.
24:11Look, Terry will be making love to her on our new king-sized bed
24:14that isn't even paid for yet.
24:16Lucky bloody Terry.
24:20What's wrong?
24:21What did I say?
24:22Oh, come on.
24:23I can tell something's wrong by the way you said nothing.
24:25Well, I just didn't like that remark.
24:27What remark?
24:28To Bob about him not helping you ringing up at this time of night.
24:31Well...
24:32And saying it to Bob will tell Thelma.
24:34Well, does it matter?
24:35Well, I do think you were taking things for granted a bit, Terry.
24:37Look, don't worry what Thelma thinks.
24:39She's locked in a bathroom in the Arctic.
24:44Look, Susan, I'm sorry if...
24:56There's nothing to apologise for, really.
24:58It's just the situation.
25:00Being at Bob and Thelma's, I suppose.
25:08Well, shall I give you a ring during the week?
25:11Yeah, I'd like that.
25:14I don't think you're a born skier, darling.
25:41It'll come, it'll come in time.
25:48Oh, I'm glad we came here.
25:50So am I.
25:52Sorry about last night.
25:53Me too.
25:56Are you feeling very bruised?
25:59Not necessarily.
26:03Good.
26:04Because it's wrong to assume there's a right time and a right place.
26:07Thelma, whatever next.
26:08Oh, that's up to you.
26:11Well, I think we should take our ski boots off first.
26:15And I'll tell you another thing.
26:17I think we ought to ring Terry later.
26:19Whatever for?
26:20Well, just to tell him what a smashing time we're having.
26:22Otherwise, he'll go and tell everyone our honeymoon's been a disaster.
26:25Yes, well, I will do.
26:27Later.
26:27Hello.
26:36Hello.
26:38What?
26:39Oh, right.
26:40Hello, Bob.
26:42Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
26:43How are you?
26:45Felt about the bathroom yet?
26:46Yeah, she's fine.
26:48Fine, fine.
26:49Everything's smashing.
26:50We're having a really smashing time.
26:52Really smashing.
26:53We've been skiing today.
26:55Well, I can do a half turn and a stop.
26:58Sometimes.
26:58How are you?
27:02Look, mate, I'm sorry about last night.
27:03I'm sorry if I, uh...
27:05How's the house?
27:09What glazier?
27:11What do you need a glazier for?
27:14Well, how did the window come to get broken in the first place?
27:18What were you doing up a ladder?
27:20The ladder fell where?
27:22What do you mean, not to worry?
27:24Hello, Thelma.
27:25You look lovely.
27:27My, you look lovely.
27:28I don't think I've ever seen you looking lovelier.
27:30What's happened to my lovely new home?
27:32Nothing, darling.
27:32Absolutely nothing.
27:33Nothing at all.
27:34Nothing, nothing.
27:35Not to worry.
27:36It was only the landing window.
27:37Oh.
27:37But you look ever so lovely.
27:40Even though he's a hundred miles away, he's still here in this room.
27:43I've got to learn to live with that fact.
27:44Darling, please.
27:45No, Bob, when we go back, I want you to ask Terry to come and live with us.
27:48He can have the spare.
27:49Or I can have the spare and he can move in with you.
27:51I mean, I don't...
27:52I'll try to adjust.
27:54I'll try to look after you both and not get in the way.
27:56And who knows?
27:57Perhaps when he's out with a meter maid, we can try and catch a few moments together.
28:07Absent friends.
28:08Ooh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me, what became a bad people we used to be?
28:24Ooh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me?
28:31Ooh, what became a bad people we used to be?
28:38Ooh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me?
28:45Ooh, what became a bad people we used to be?
28:50Ooh, what happened to you?
28:51You're怎樣-
29:02Ooh, what became a bad people we used to be?
29:04Oh, come on in試験ing.
29:05So wewed a little bit forward.
29:06I'm not sure, right?
29:07I'm not sure.
29:08I think that it's going to be next.
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