- 4 months ago
First broadcast 15th January 1974.
Bob is working himself too hard whilst Terry is enjoying a life of leisure.
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Brigit Forsyth - Thelma
Jacquie-Ann Carr - Brenda Boyle
Julian Holloway - Alan Boyle
Elizabeth Lax - Wendy
Vicki Michelle - Madelyn
Pamela Conway - Gloria (as Lorna Wilde)
Terry Wogan - Radio DJ
Bob is working himself too hard whilst Terry is enjoying a life of leisure.
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Brigit Forsyth - Thelma
Jacquie-Ann Carr - Brenda Boyle
Julian Holloway - Alan Boyle
Elizabeth Lax - Wendy
Vicki Michelle - Madelyn
Pamela Conway - Gloria (as Lorna Wilde)
Terry Wogan - Radio DJ
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00Oh, what happened to you? Whatever happened to me? And what became of the people we used to be?
00:16Tomorrow's almost over. The day went by so fast. It's the only thing to look forward to. The past.
00:30The past.
01:00The past.
01:02The past.
01:04The past.
01:06The past.
01:08The past.
01:10The past.
01:12The past.
01:14The past.
01:16The past.
01:18The past.
01:20The past.
01:22The past.
01:24The past.
01:26The past.
01:28The past.
01:30The past.
01:32The past.
01:34The past.
01:36The past.
01:38The past.
01:40The past.
01:42The past.
01:44The past.
01:46The past.
01:47The past.
01:48The past.
01:50The past.
01:52The past.
01:53The past.
01:54The past.
01:55The past.
01:56The past.
01:57The past.
01:58The past.
01:59The past.
02:00The past.
02:01The past.
02:02The past.
02:03The past.
02:04The past.
02:05The past.
02:06The past.
02:07The past.
02:08The past.
02:09The past.
02:10The past.
02:11The past.
02:12The past.
02:13The past.
02:14The past.
02:15The past.
02:16The past.
02:17The past.
02:18The past.
02:19The past.
02:20The past.
02:21The past.
02:22The past.
02:23The past.
02:24The past.
02:25The past.
02:26The past.
02:27The past.
02:28The past.
02:29The past.
02:30The past.
02:31The past.
02:32The past.
02:33I don't know.
03:03The L4-0-9-4-2.
03:06The L4-5-4-5.
03:10The L1-8-8-8-8.
03:13Are you late?
03:23What?
03:24You're late.
03:25Only by what, what, three minutes?
03:2812.30, you said.
03:29You're the one who's a stickler for punctuality.
03:31All right, so I'm late.
03:33Yes, Father?
03:34I'll have a pint, please.
03:35No, I'll have a lager, please.
03:37You're all right, are you?
03:37No, no, no, I'll have another pint.
03:39Oh, a pint, please.
03:41And a beef sandwich, roast beef sandwich with lots of chutney and a pickled onion.
03:45You'll be going home for lunch, will you?
03:46Yeah, well, not yet a while.
03:47I'll have a pasta, Gloria, please.
03:49And a cheese sandwich, a scotch egg and a packet of crisps.
03:53Is that all?
03:54Only sausages.
03:55Ah, just cooked.
03:56Two with mustard.
03:56Right.
03:57My round, is it?
03:58It would have been a different story if you'd have been in here earlier.
04:01No, it wouldn't.
04:01It would have been the same story only three minutes earlier.
04:04Why are you late?
04:05Well, do you stop going on about me being late?
04:07I've been at work, haven't I?
04:08Some of us have to go out at work, you know, for a living.
04:10This is me lunch hour.
04:12So it's ten minutes for lunch and fifty minutes for indigestion.
04:14You should lay off the pickled onions, I'll have yours.
04:17I can see me getting an ulcer, you know, the way I'm going.
04:19I've been on the Craigley estate all morning.
04:21I'm going to go back to the office now, make some phone calls, load up the car with theodolites,
04:26pick up John Armstrong, drive thirty miles up the A1, survey a new site.
04:30I won't be home till eight o'clock.
04:31Then I'm going to take Thelma out to dinner.
04:33You'll give yourself an ulcer the way you're going.
04:35Thirty miles up the A1 and it's bitter out.
04:38I noticed that coming over here from the billiard hall.
04:40That wind goes right through you.
04:43Oh, poor you.
04:44I'm out all day, you know, out on some freezing barren site.
04:47Well, never mind.
04:48Get that down, you.
04:49Nanook of the North.
04:50Oh, I can't pay for it.
04:52No, no, no, no, no.
04:53My round, my round.
04:54Never let it be said.
04:55It's my fiver.
04:57Well, I'm only borrowing it so I can get me round.
05:00How much is that, Gloria?
05:02That'll be 82p, pet.
05:03Right.
05:04That's 82p I owe you.
05:06Oh, well, cheers.
05:07These sausages look good, though, but?
05:09It's very bad for you, no rushed meals standing up.
05:12I'm in no rush.
05:13Oh, of course you're in no rush.
05:14You've got nothing to rush for.
05:16You've got nothing to do till the first racing results come in.
05:18Right.
05:194.18.
05:20Oh, I'll take that, love.
05:213.4.
05:22My change?
05:23Well, I know, I know.
05:24I might as well make it a round figure.
05:25I owe you a fiver.
05:28What about the two quid you borrowed off me last Tuesday?
05:31Oh, I see.
05:33I see.
05:33It's like that, is it?
05:34I see.
05:36Like what?
05:37Last Tuesday you borrowed two quid off me.
05:39It's not unreasonable to ask you to pay me back.
05:42Have I ever not paid you back?
05:45Have I ever not paid you back?
05:47You never pay me back.
05:49If you do, you give me three quid and borrow four.
05:51You've got a permanent overdraft with me.
05:53All right, all right.
05:54That's two pounds I owe you.
05:56Seven.
05:57Seven?
05:57What about the fiver you've just had off me?
05:59Well, good God, man.
06:01I've only just borrowed it off you.
06:02You don't want to back already, do you?
06:04You only mentioned it.
06:05Here, here, here.
06:07There.
06:08Where did you get that?
06:09It's mine.
06:10It's mine.
06:10I wanted this morning at the billiard hall.
06:12I beat Tommy Pratt in three straight frames.
06:14Well, then why did you want to borrow a fiver off me?
06:18You try buying a new pair of shoes these days under a fiver.
06:21How about that?
06:23Well, sorry.
06:24I'm just a bit short, that's all.
06:26You've still got that fiver.
06:27Well, not now.
06:28I haven't.
06:28I've been after that round.
06:30Well, I'll pay for the round.
06:31What was the round, 80?
06:32A pound, near as damaged.
06:33All right, all right.
06:34Here.
06:34Well, take it off what I owe you.
06:35That two pounds from Tuesday.
06:37That's a pound I owe you.
06:38Is it?
06:40All right.
06:41You were going to buy some new shoes, were you?
06:45Well, I was.
06:47Not now, obviously.
06:49What do you want new shoes for?
06:50I just need something decent to wear, man.
06:52Something respectable.
06:54Something to go for a job interviews and and such like.
06:58Something to keep the wet out.
07:00Here, here, here.
07:01No, no, no, no.
07:02I couldn't.
07:03Not if you're short.
07:03I'm not that short.
07:04I can't see you without soles to your feet.
07:06Go on.
07:08All right, then, mate.
07:09Cheers.
07:09Just till Friday.
07:10That's a five I owe you.
07:12Six.
07:12Oh, yes.
07:13Right.
07:13Six.
07:13Six.
07:14Just till Friday.
07:15Do you fancy a short?
07:16No, no.
07:17I better not.
07:17Not with that drive.
07:18Quite right.
07:19You can't be too careful.
07:20You'll be going back to the billiard hall, I suppose.
07:22Oh, just till four.
07:23Then I'm going to pictures.
07:24Look at you.
07:25What's on?
07:26I don't know.
07:26I just fancy the usherette.
07:28Anyway, I like going to pictures in the afternoon.
07:30There's never anybody there except a few pensioners, and they're always asleep.
07:32It's nice and warm and comfortable, and you come out just in time for the racing results.
07:37What a life.
07:37You know, I never stop these days.
07:39I never stop.
07:39I was up till one last night, studying.
07:42Studying what?
07:43For night school.
07:44I got exams end of the month.
07:45Well, that's your own rotten fault if you still want to go to school at your age.
07:49Some of us need qualifications.
07:52To pay for mortgages, to buy cars, to give Thelma a future.
07:56To support shoeless ex-servicemen.
07:59You'll give us up an ulcer, the way you're going.
08:02Perhaps I shouldn't drink lager.
08:04It's not the lager, mate.
08:05It's the worry.
08:06I've seen it all before.
08:08Ulcers at 30.
08:10Coronary at 40.
08:11The only future Thelma's got to look forward to is when your life insurance coughs up.
08:15And what kind of future are you going to leave your wife, eh?
08:18A few old IOUs, torn betting slips and stubs from the Odeon.
08:22Well, I'll tell you one thing, mate.
08:23I shall outlive you.
08:25Because I have dropped out of the rat race.
08:27You what?
08:28You what?
08:29You were never in it, you.
08:30You've been an adult since you came out of the army.
08:33No attempt to look for a job.
08:34Well, I'm happy enough.
08:35There's nothing wrong with my existence.
08:37I bet you'd rather be going to the pictures this afternoon than going 30 miles up the A1
08:41to some barren freezing moor to stick up your theodolite.
08:46Look, Terry, I haven't said this for a while.
08:48Said what?
08:50What I'm about to say.
08:51Which you haven't said for a while.
08:53Yes, right.
08:53Well, go on, then.
08:55Well, I've forgotten what I was going to say now.
08:57Where was I?
08:59I don't know.
08:59It's a while back now.
09:01Oh, yeah, yeah.
09:01Well, speaking as a friend, as someone whose opinion I hope you respect,
09:05I think it's time you got your thinking cup on, my lad.
09:08I think it's time you found a job.
09:10Or at least it's been some attempt to look for one.
09:14I offered you a job.
09:15All right.
09:16You're too proud.
09:17I can understand that.
09:18But there are other jobs, Terry.
09:19Ever since you came out the army...
09:20The army took a lot out of me, Bob, as well you know.
09:25Five years, I did.
09:26Surely the state owes a man something after five years.
09:29So how long do you need to read?
09:31You can't spend all your days in bed, you know.
09:33The bookies or some musty cinema or...
09:36Playing snooker.
09:36Or playing snooker.
09:37Or fishing in the canal.
09:38Or fishing in the canal.
09:39Or going to the races.
09:41Or chatting up the girls on the trading estate.
09:43Or kicking a ball about with some of the lats.
09:45Or going to the baths.
09:46Or fooling about on the putting green at Priory Park.
09:48Or watching the girls play netball through the railings of the grammar school.
09:52What a pathetic, bloody existence.
09:58I've got to go.
09:58I've got to go.
09:59You'll kill yourself.
10:00You will.
10:01You'll kill yourself.
10:02I know.
10:02I will.
10:02The rate I'm going.
10:03On the other hand, Bob, death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
10:07This place reminds me...
10:21Alan, are you listening?
10:25This place reminds me very much of that club in Rimini.
10:30Does it?
10:31Well, I suppose so.
10:32It's full of Italian waiters.
10:34I didn't like Rimini very much.
10:36Very touristy.
10:36Oh, you were there at Easter, weren't you?
10:39No, no.
10:39August.
10:40In Easter, we were in Alba Fara.
10:42Oh, we were thinking of going there for the summer.
10:44Oh, it's very lovely.
10:46Mind you, we were there earlier in the year.
10:48I'm told in the summer it does get very touristy.
10:52Either there or Morocco.
10:54I believe the desert's very wonderful.
10:56That used to be.
10:57But all them charter trips go there now.
11:00And, of course, you've got your Arab.
11:03Well, of course, we're very limited with Bob's hay fever, aren't we, darling?
11:08Bob.
11:09What?
11:10Hey, Bob, are we keeping you up?
11:11You're so rude.
11:13I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
11:14We've got that much on at work, you know.
11:15I can hardly keep awake.
11:16I am sorry.
11:17He has been working hard, poor pet.
11:19He's got exams, you know.
11:20Well, he takes it too seriously.
11:21You want to learn to enjoy yourself, Bob.
11:23You want to learn to relax a bit more.
11:24Oh, yes.
11:25It's all right for you with your own business.
11:26Do you know it's a pound of drink in here?
11:28Oh, well, that's just a cover charge, isn't it?
11:30Is it a pound of drink?
11:32Yes, but on the other hand, it does keep out the riffraff.
11:35Go on, my son.
11:36I'll get him in.
11:38Howie, Bex, howie.
11:39I'm not so sure.
11:40What's Collier doing in here at these prices?
11:43All right by the look of it.
11:44Who's that he's got with him?
11:45He can't afford it here.
11:47I had to lend him a fiver at lunchtime.
11:48Oh, you didn't.
11:50Not again.
11:51I'm sorry.
11:52He said he needed some new shoes.
11:54You're a fool to yourself.
11:55Well, he's buying a whacking big round, I'll tell you that.
11:58And three Contiki cocktails.
11:59Contiki cocktails.
12:01Not that she's not worth it, mind you.
12:02He said they were letting the wet in.
12:05I'm sure I've seen that girl somewhere before.
12:07Haven't you, Alan?
12:08No, I'd have remembered.
12:12She's quite attractive, in an obvious sort of way.
12:15Yes, everybody's wearing that material.
12:20I say she's got some formula, Bob, eh?
12:22She's got some formula.
12:24He's paying for that whole round.
12:26Where does he get it from?
12:27He gets it from you.
12:29It's not a loan you give him each week.
12:30It's an allowance.
12:31You're a fool to yourself.
12:33All I want to know is, where does he get her from?
12:35Hey, up, kidder.
12:37Hello, Bob.
12:38Hello, Thelma.
12:40Alan.
12:40Sorry.
12:41Brenda.
12:41That's a nice change.
12:42A night out with a wife.
12:43I want you to meet a very special friend of mine.
12:49This is Madeline.
12:50Madeline, this is Brenda, Alan, Bob, and Thelma.
12:53Right, now, let me get you all a drink.
12:54Come on, what are you going to have?
12:55What are you going to have?
12:55Oh, well, I wouldn't say no.
12:57No, I think we must go, Terry.
12:59Thanks all the same, because Bob's very tired.
13:01I'm all right.
13:02How do you mean?
13:03You could hardly keep awake a few minutes ago.
13:05Well, I'll have one.
13:05No.
13:06What?
13:07I really think we must go.
13:09Alan, the sitter?
13:10What about it?
13:10She won't mind.
13:11No, but it is getting late.
13:12I mean, you must think of other people.
13:14I am thinking of other people.
13:15I'm thinking of the sitter, aren't we?
13:16Now, boyfriend's come down.
13:17That corporal.
13:18He's not driven all the way down from Caterick just to watch the epilogue.
13:22All the more reason.
13:23Oh, hey, oh, hey.
13:24I'm in the chair.
13:25It's my round.
13:26It's my round.
13:27No, I really think we must go, Terry.
13:29Frank's all the same.
13:30We'll go and get our coach.
13:31Shall we, Brenda?
13:34Well, where have you been hiding yourself, love?
13:36Not that you're hiding much.
13:38You don't get many of them to the pound.
13:40Gee, I don't finish work till 11.
13:44What do you do, then?
13:45I'm in a shred at the audience.
13:46Oh, your afternoon wasn't wasted, then.
13:49Give us some chips, Terry, pet.
13:51I like the roulette, you know.
13:53I don't go mad.
13:54I just play on evens.
13:55But I like the roulette.
13:56Hey, I love you.
13:57Just change yourself up.
13:58Thanks, Terry.
13:59Have a nice time.
14:00Ta-ra, then.
14:01Ta-ra.
14:07Nice one, Terry.
14:08Not bad, eh?
14:08Not bad.
14:09Did you really pull her in the pictures?
14:11No, during the interval.
14:11Well, it beats a drink on a stick.
14:15Oh, then, what are you going to have to drink, eh?
14:17No, you're all right.
14:18I think I'll just go and watch the roulette for a little bit.
14:20Cheers.
14:20She has that effect on people.
14:22Didn't you feel your adrenaline rising when you clocked that?
14:25You're very flush all of a sudden, aren't you?
14:29No, no, no.
14:29A little windfall.
14:30A little windfall.
14:31No new shoes, I see.
14:32Ah, what I was going to, Bob, I was literally on my way to the shoe shop when I ran into Little
14:37Lutch.
14:38He asked after you, said I was Thelma.
14:39Yes, yes.
14:40And he says to me, have you got any spare?
14:42I said, well, I've got a little, but I must buy myself a new pair of shoes.
14:45And he says to me, never mind about the shoes.
14:47You put all you've got on Domino at the 415 at Fontwell.
14:51And you did.
14:52I did, I did, but I doubled it with knock meal down at the 5 o'clock at York.
14:56You jammy Arab.
14:57How much did you get?
14:58Enough, enough.
15:00That was my money, you know.
15:01Money out of my pocket.
15:04So unfair.
15:05Ah, here, here, here.
15:07There's your fiver.
15:08Six.
15:09All right, all right.
15:11Six, six.
15:12Good God.
15:14If you take my advice, you will put all that on the first race tomorrow at Hexham.
15:20Kill Venny.
15:22Oh, wait, over here.
15:24Your money won't last in places like this.
15:26Do you know how much it costs a drink?
15:28It's a pound.
15:29It's a pound of drink in here.
15:31Yeah, well, it keeps the riffraff out.
15:33Oh, then, now.
15:34Don't go pouring your money down that thing.
15:37Oh, have you got any change?
15:38What?
15:38Have you got any change?
15:39Five, please.
15:40Come on, just a loan, just a loan.
15:42Not much.
15:43That's all I've got.
15:44Yeah, good lad, good lad.
15:45It's money down the drain, that is, you know.
15:47Look, what's the point of winning money and then pouring it away?
15:51You can't win on these things.
15:53It's a well-known...
15:54Thank you, kiddo.
15:58You all right, Bob?
16:08Hmm?
16:09You all right?
16:10Yes, I'm all right.
16:11You look tired.
16:13Have you not been sleeping?
16:14Not very well, no.
16:16Oh, it's not that.
16:18Is it worth it?
16:20That's what I've got to keep asking myself, Wendy.
16:22Is it worth it?
16:24Is what worth it?
16:25When you get married, you know, there's so many things you have to do.
16:30I don't need extra responsibilities.
16:32I mean, the sheer volume of things you have to do.
16:38I have to study.
16:39I have to go out to work.
16:40I have to get a new house together.
16:43I have to fill in forms and dig borders and buy insurance and plant daffodils.
16:49I've got to paint the garage and service the car and lay linoleum.
16:55Claim rebates on the rates.
16:59I have to pass exams and worry about whether I can afford to take Thelma to Morocco in August.
17:07And I think I've got a cold coming on.
17:10Well, he had a lot to do as well.
17:15Who?
17:15My boyfriend, Gordon.
17:18Gordon?
17:19You met him at the firm's Christmas party.
17:21Oh, him.
17:25The bad-tempered one.
17:27He was just a bit suspicious.
17:29Look, if I want a quiet talk with my secretary in the stationary cupboard, that's my business.
17:34Yes, Bob.
17:35I couldn't give dictation with all that noise going on.
17:38No, Bob.
17:39What's Christmas?
17:41Gordon's trying to get the car ready.
17:43It's an old one, you see.
17:44But he's very good mechanically.
17:46If he does, we're going to go to Holland and Belgium.
17:49Gordon says Holland and Belgium's very flat, so there'll be no risk of gradients.
17:53It's not very good on gradients.
17:55Yes, well...
17:56Last year we went to Scotland, but he had a motorbike then, so it didn't mind the gradients.
18:01But when he had a scooter, we could go anywhere.
18:03The Peak District, the Lake District.
18:05You've had a pretty up-and-down affair with that, Gordon.
18:07And now it's all going to level out, just like life, just like life.
18:12Don't play it safe, Wendy.
18:15Get the motorbike back and go to the Alps.
18:17But we couldn't afford the petrol for the Alps.
18:20We'll not afford a holiday this year.
18:22You never know.
18:22That horse might come up.
18:24I doubt it.
18:25I doubt it.
18:26I gave the money to the T-boy.
18:28It'll be running now, won't it?
18:29If it started.
18:32All right, Wendy.
18:33Come on.
18:34Tick-tock.
18:34Time is money.
18:35I'd just like to say one thing, Bob.
18:37What?
18:38I know it's none of my business, but if you are short of money, gambling's not the answer.
18:44Oh, I'm sorry.
18:45Hello, Terry.
18:47Well, I was just passing, kiddo.
18:49Yeah, that'll be all, Pets.
18:54Oh, it's Pets now, is it?
18:57You can't be too formal.
18:59Especially since the firm's Christmas party.
19:01Who told you that?
19:02Oh, keep your vest on.
19:04Keep your vest on.
19:05You're secret safe with me.
19:07Oh, do you want them biscuits?
19:08Yeah, go on.
19:09I couldn't eat a thing.
19:10I'm sorry I could've made a pub at lunchtime, mate, but I've just got so much on.
19:15You look tired.
19:17Knackered.
19:18Never mind, kid.
19:19It'll all be worth it one day.
19:21One day?
19:22One day?
19:23Why has everybody gone about a mythical one day?
19:26As if at some stage in the distant future, your whole life comes together and adds up.
19:30Makes sense.
19:32You've got the right idea.
19:34Live now.
19:35Enjoy yourself.
19:38How did you get hold of that Madeleine?
19:41I didn't.
19:42I met her from work.
19:50I took her to this Chinese restaurant where she went through the card.
19:52I don't know.
19:53She keeps her form.
19:54All them noodles she took away.
19:56End of that club.
19:57It's a pound a drink there, you know.
19:59Don't tell me.
20:00Don't tell me.
20:01She must have had at least six Contiki cocktails.
20:03I'm surprised she wasn't afloat.
20:04Then I gave her money for chips to play roulette, which she did very nicely, thank you very much.
20:09I showed her the finer points of blackjack.
20:11We had a steak sandwich, a bottle of fizzy wine, and then, when the time came for her to show her appreciation in no uncertain manner, I got that.
20:22Biggie.
20:23Can you take her home?
20:27How can I take her home?
20:28I haven't got a car, have I?
20:30What about a taxi?
20:33Didn't have enough money for a taxi.
20:37You didn't blow the lot.
20:38No, but I did.
20:40How?
20:41Mostly on the finer points of blackjack.
20:43But didn't she offer to pay for a taxi?
20:46Well, she got a lift.
20:47And this Italian wine waiter called Dante.
20:50Well, he took me in all.
20:51Well, there's nobody dignified, you know, Bob.
20:55And you go out with a girl and you get taken home penniless into the back of some Mai Tai's van.
21:02You blew the lot.
21:05I know, I know, I'm a fool to meself.
21:08But one good thing did come out of it.
21:11It's made me see sense.
21:13It's made me realise that I've got to get me thinking cap on, and...
21:18Well, that's why I'm here.
21:21How do you mean?
21:23Well, you said something about the job.
21:25Yes, right.
21:27Sure.
21:29It's not here, mind.
21:30It's on a new estate up near Durham.
21:32You'd have to go up there and see the foreman.
21:33No, I don't mind.
21:34I'll go now.
21:34Just give us the address.
21:36Are you sure?
21:37Absolutely positive.
21:38Well, I'm delighted.
21:41I'm very glad, kiddo.
21:42Not just for yourself, but because, well, for me too.
21:48I was...
21:50I was beginning to have doubts.
21:53Well, if I can help somebody as I pass along.
21:55Yes, yes.
21:57You've got to believe in...
22:00one day.
22:01You can't just spend all your time frivolously with usherettes and...
22:06reckless spending and pointless gambling.
22:09True.
22:09True.
22:10It won, Bob.
22:11Killed any.
22:12It won.
22:12What?
22:13What?
22:14You've got £6.42p.
22:16Yes, well, thank you very much, Miss Shearer.
22:18Perhaps next time you'd knock before barging in here.
22:20Oh, yes, Bob.
22:21Uh, Mr Ferris.
22:24You jammy Arab.
22:25You were on it.
22:27But weren't you?
22:28What with?
22:30And it was the one Friday.
22:31Me mum didn't leave any money in the milk bottle for the milkman and all.
22:34Well, there's the address.
22:38You've got to see Joe Pearson.
22:39He's the gaffer.
22:44Well, how am I going to get there?
22:48You'll have to take the bus, won't you?
22:50Or a train.
22:53You don't think you could see your way clear?
22:55No.
22:55Well, just for the train fare.
22:57I'd pay you back out of me wages.
22:58I mean, I'd be working out of me wages.
23:00Well.
23:01What's my tip?
23:02All right, take the pound, then.
23:04I'll may as well take the five and make it a round figure.
23:06Well, what am I left with?
23:07Well, more than you started with.
23:09And if I was you, I would put that on sesame in the 4.30 this afternoon.
23:14You're doing it again.
23:15Only if I was you, I said.
23:17Only if I was you, not if I was me.
23:19I've seen the error of my ways, remember?
23:21Well, I hope so.
23:22Shall I come round tonight?
23:23We're going to have a swift hour to celebrate my new career.
23:25No, I can't tonight.
23:26I've got evening classes, haven't I?
23:30Hey, shall I put down for them?
23:32What?
23:33Evening classes are the ones you go to.
23:34I could come with you.
23:35But I'm in the middle of a course.
23:36You have to decide on a course.
23:37You have to take a course.
23:39Yeah?
23:39Course you do.
23:42Well, look, I'll tell you what.
23:43You get me the enrolment form, the syllabus, and I'll pick one.
23:47Pick one?
23:48Pick one?
23:49Yeah.
23:50Accountancy, carpentry.
23:53I'll tell you what.
23:54Put me down for elementary Italian.
23:57Elementary Italian?
23:58Yeah, then I can tell that wine waiter what it can do with his cork.
24:20Hello, kiddo.
24:21What are you doing here?
24:22Just dropped by.
24:23Well, I've just on my way to evening classes.
24:26You're looking very smart.
24:30Present.
24:31Who for?
24:32For you.
24:33For you and Thalma.
24:34From me.
24:36Champagne.
24:37Champagne?
24:37Well, sort of.
24:38It was supposed to be champagne.
24:39It's like champagne.
24:40It costs $1.63 a bottle.
24:42Well, thank you very much, Maeve.
24:46Why?
24:47Is it for getting the new job?
24:49What job?
24:50The job I've put you up for.
24:52Oh, that.
24:52No, no.
24:53I arranged it.
24:54Yes, yes, I know, kid.
24:55I know.
24:55And I know you mean well.
24:57But the thing is, well, I'm a tradesman, kiddo.
25:00If I go for a job, it's got to be a trade.
25:03Well, you don't want to see me scrambling about a building site like some motorway mick, now, do you?
25:08I gave you the train fare.
25:09Which I owe you, and which I am very happy to say I am now in a position to pay you back.
25:14And I'll tell you one thing.
25:15If I had gone for that job, I would not have been in a position to pay you back.
25:19Thank goodness.
25:20Thank goodness I said to myself that not going to that job has put me in a position whereby I can pay back my friend Bob the £5 I owe him.
25:28Where did you get all that money?
25:29All that money, where did you get it?
25:31Ah, well, when I left your place, I was going to the station.
25:34I was literally on my way to the station when I ran into the little lodge.
25:37He asked after you, said I was Thelma.
25:38Yes, yes, he gave you a tip.
25:40He did, he did.
25:41Well, I couldn't ignore it, kid, not after the one yesterday.
25:44Well, it can't have been Sesame, the one you gave me.
25:46What do you mean?
25:46Because the four-legged idiot was left at the gate, wasn't it, with my rotten £1.42 P on its rotten nose.
25:51Oh, well, there you go, kidder.
25:53It's one of life's bitter ironies.
25:55Still, you are £5 up on a day.
25:57You put my money on a horse.
25:59The money I gave you for a train, the money that was supposed to start you off on a new life.
26:02But it did, kid, it did.
26:03It started me off on a treble, a treble.
26:05I'm on a bundle, man.
26:07And that's why I want to take you out to dinner.
26:09You and Thelma, anywhere you like, we want you to come with us.
26:13We?
26:14Me and Linda.
26:15She's outside in her car.
26:17Who's Linda?
26:18She's the girl that works in the betting shop.
26:19She's a nice girl, a really nice lass.
26:22As a matter of fact, I've been seeing quite a lot of her recently.
26:25Well, of course you have.
26:26You've spent your whole rotten life in that betting shop.
26:28Come on, kidder, come on, get Thelma.
26:30Thelma is out, isn't she, and I've got night school.
26:33Oh, you can skip it for once.
26:35It's not a question of just once.
26:36I've got exams, haven't I?
26:37I've got exams.
26:39You'll have a breakdown, you will.
26:41Your health will go first.
26:43Then your marriage.
26:44There is nothing wrong with my marriage.
26:46Well, Thelma's out on her own tonight without you.
26:49You said so yourself.
26:50You can't expect Thelma to stop in when I'm out studying, can you?
26:53She's only gone to badminton.
26:55Ha!
26:56Badminton?
26:57Things can happen there as same as anywhere else.
27:00Don't let that drippy lot fool you just because they wear white shorts and drink lemon barley.
27:06What do you mean, things?
27:08Bob, when a wife starts taking second place to her husband's career, she begins to look for outlets.
27:17You play mixed doubles at the badminton club, don't you?
27:20Yes.
27:20With Hugh and Janie?
27:21Yes.
27:22So who's taking your place tonight?
27:24Only Hugh's brother.
27:25Only Hugh's brother?
27:27Good God, anything could happen.
27:29Not at the Beverly Badminton Club.
27:31The committee would never allow it.
27:32Oh, Bob, I can see it all.
27:36By the time you've qualified, it'll be too late.
27:39By then, she'll be off sharing someone else's shuttlecock.
27:42Would you just go?
27:45Would you just take Linda, whoever she is, and go and blow your winnings, and don't come
27:49to me in the morning when it's all gone, and you can't even steal your mother's milk money?
27:54I'll wash my hands of you.
27:55I give up.
27:56Go on.
27:57I've had it now.
27:59I've tried to give your life some kind of meaning, some kind of direction, but all you want
28:02to do is go to pubs, or pictures, or...
28:05Restaurants.
28:06Or restaurants, yes.
28:07Or nightclubs.
28:09Or nights out with the lads.
28:12Playing late night snooker or all night poker.
28:15Or going to discotheques.
28:17Dimly lit discotheques where you can sit thigh to thigh to some sexy girl like Linda or Madeline.
28:22Or any girl, there's so many of them spare up here, if you've got a bit of money and
28:27prepared to put it about a bit of a night.
28:30What a lovely bloody life you lead.
28:34Ooh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me.
28:41What became of the people we used to be.
28:49Ooh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me.
28:52What became of the people we used to be.
29:02Ooh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me.
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