- 7 weeks ago
First broadcast 13th March 1973.
As Terry recovers from the Chilean Flu, Bob has to break it to him that, as he began planning his wedding before they met up again, he had already asked Frank Clarke to be his best man.
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Anita Carey - Susan Chambers
Brenda Cavendish - Norma
Barbara Ogilvie - Mrs. Ferris
Gertan Klauber - Waiter
As Terry recovers from the Chilean Flu, Bob has to break it to him that, as he began planning his wedding before they met up again, he had already asked Frank Clarke to be his best man.
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Anita Carey - Susan Chambers
Brenda Cavendish - Norma
Barbara Ogilvie - Mrs. Ferris
Gertan Klauber - Waiter
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me, and what became of the people we used to be?
00:15Tomorrow's almost over, the day went by so fast, it's the only thing to look forward to, the past.
00:36Hello.
00:37Not before time.
00:40Hello, sunshine, how are you feeling?
00:42Not before time, is it? Not a word, not a letter.
00:45A letter?
00:46Or a card, or a phone call.
00:48You're not on the telephone, man.
00:49Well, she is next door. Any form of human communication would have sufficed.
00:54A message in a bottle, a carrier pigeon, or a series of smoke signals from your roof, anything.
00:59Just so as I knew I had some form of human contact.
01:02Man, I've been up to my ears, with the job and the new house and the wedding.
01:06And those are things you put before my health, are they?
01:08I just can't risk infection. Everyone's going down with this Chilean flu. I just haven't got the time to be sick.
01:16I haven't got the plague, you know. We haven't had a pain to have a front door yeller. You're not going to go down in writhing contortions with your hair falling out.
01:25In other words, you've had a fairly trivial illness. You haven't been at death's door at all.
01:28Oh, I didn't say that I hadn't suffered. I've coughed so hard I think I've ruptured me lungs.
01:35Chilean flu, it's fascinating, isn't it? Isn't it fascinating that a virus can travel so far? Just like Asian flu a few years back.
01:43When I had a temperature of 103 on the verge of delirium, that was the one thing that consoled me, knowing that I had such a fascinating virus.
01:51I suppose it comes in off the ships. I might have known, I'd get it.
01:55According to last night's Look North, a programme of local news and views, it's reached epidemic proportions.
02:01What a month. Out of the forces with nothing to come home to do, no bright job prospects, no mates around, you getting married,
02:09and some bug transports itself from the Andes across two continents, two oceans and zeroes in on me.
02:15You're not the only one by far.
02:18I've been cursed by the Incas. It's typical of my rotten luck.
02:22Half my firm's come down with it.
02:23Oh, but I was the first, the trailblazer.
02:27Dear me, no wonder you're on the verge of delirium. What's this?
02:30Reader's Advice Forum, a frank exchange of personal and private fears.
02:36What are your personal and private fears, Terry, apart from relegation and baldness?
02:41Loss of friends, desertion in time of need.
02:44My God, that pales compared to this poor fellow.
02:47Dear me, did you read this letter?
02:48Anguished, Mark at Arborough?
02:50Yes. Where do you buy manacles and a set of stocks these days?
02:53Mail order, I suppose.
02:55Why? Comes in a plain wrapper.
02:57Those letters stagger me, you know, they really do.
02:59I know I've been away for five years, but dear me, I never realised that bondage was that popular.
03:04It isn't, not round here. Certainly not on the Elm Lodge housing estate.
03:07Don't you be too sure, mate. Have you seen the addresses on those letters?
03:10They're not from Copenhagen or Hamburg, you know.
03:13They're from Mark at Arborough, Evesham, Peterborough, places like that.
03:17Hell, his teeth is even a harrogate.
03:20If that magazine's a fair sample, come Saturday night, half this nation's behind locked doors in frilly underclothes, beating themselves to death with riding crops.
03:28Well, not everyone watches Match of the Day.
03:32Healthy people, dear.
03:34I was thinking of missing it myself this Saturday.
03:36If someone had been well enough, I was planning a little treat for that someone.
03:40I'm not being whipped.
03:43That's not what I had in mind.
03:45If you were well enough, I was thinking of taking me out to a meal.
03:47Posh new place up the coast road.
03:49Bottle of wine.
03:50Great big steaks there.
03:52Why?
03:53Well, it might be the last chance I get, you know, before I get married, for the two of us to have a little chat.
03:58A quiet evening.
03:59A civilised, reflective evening.
04:01Oh, I see.
04:02It's guilt, is it?
04:03Guilt at having left me here to rot.
04:05All right.
04:06If you don't want to come out with me, if you don't want to accept this last gesture of my friendship.
04:10Oh, well, if you're going to put it that way.
04:12Put it what way?
04:13You know, when you put that voice of yours on.
04:15What voice?
04:16You're on an eagle making a jar of a real voice.
04:18If you mean that my voice conveys a certain amount of emotion, well, I don't deny it.
04:23This week is the end of an era for me, and, well, this meal was to... to commemorate it.
04:30You make it sound like I'm more like a memorial service than a memorial.
04:33Well, it is a memoriam in a way.
04:35But where's Thelma?
04:36Is she here and all?
04:37Thelma doesn't rule my leisure habits.
04:39I don't have to ask her permission.
04:40She doesn't issue me with pass-outs.
04:43Anyway, Thelma's booked.
04:44What for?
04:45Soliciting?
04:45Well, a girl's night out for a hen party.
04:50Her sister's coming over today from Canada for the wedding.
04:52Hey, I'd forgotten Thelma had a sister.
04:54Did we ever know her?
04:55No, I don't think so.
04:56She's five years younger than us, and at school that was a generation.
04:59Oh.
04:59And I think she got a job abroad as soon as she got her O-levels.
05:02What's she like?
05:03I can't really remember.
05:05It's only in my latter, more mature years that I started noticing schoolgirls.
05:09Hey, I might be all right there, at the wedding.
05:12With her being the bridesmaid-like, and me being the best man.
05:15Man, isn't that one of the best man's perks?
05:17Isn't that one of the unwritten laws?
05:19The best man pays for the taxis, reads out the telegrams, and has the bridesmaid.
05:24Terry.
05:25You never know.
05:26Uh, you don't...
05:27Might as well chance me arm.
05:29Don't jump to conclusions.
05:30I'm not, mate, I'm not.
05:32Don't panic, don't panic.
05:33I'm not going to chance me arm.
05:34I'll leave the rest of me in that to meet until I see the lay of the land.
05:37I wasn't referring to...
05:38You never know.
05:38Perhaps she'll be the lay of the land.
05:40You know, these Canadians.
05:41Terry, I'm trying to say something important.
05:43You mustn't take things for granted.
05:46About the wedding.
05:49Oh, I see, Pop.
05:52And that's what this meal is about, is it?
05:54Just the two of us like a sort of, uh, reflective evening, wasn't it?
05:58Right.
05:58I understand, kidder.
06:01Do you?
06:02Certainly.
06:03And thank God you've come to your senses at last.
06:05You're having second thoughts, aren't you?
06:07No, I am not having second thoughts.
06:09You never give up, do you?
06:10What I was referring to was bridesmaids and best man.
06:13Oh, I see, dame Anna.
06:15It's moral outrage, is it?
06:17Just because she's Thelma's sister.
06:19Look, I don't care if you seduce Thelma's sister.
06:21As long as you enjoy yourself at my wedding, I'm happy.
06:24What I was referring to was not your sexual menace.
06:28It was your status.
06:30Status?
06:31Well, lack of it.
06:32What status am I lacking in?
06:35Best man status.
06:36What?
06:36The best man at my wedding.
06:38My best man, if you like.
06:39Yes?
06:40Is not you.
06:41I mean, it's you in principle.
06:42You being my best mate and that.
06:44Everyone will know it's you in principle.
06:46It just won't be you in fact.
06:50I'm not your best man.
06:51Well, I didn't know you were suddenly going to reappear.
06:53After five years, did I?
06:54I didn't know you were going to suddenly reappear.
06:56After five years.
06:57Out of the blue like that.
06:59And I'd already asked Frank Clark.
07:00You don't have to explain.
07:02You think I'll let you down, don't you?
07:04You think my earthy working class ways.
07:06Will prove a little too rough round the edges.
07:08For your new middle class in-laws.
07:10With their caravans in the Lake District.
07:11And their Masonic handshakes.
07:14Why would someone like me.
07:15Possibly officiated your wedding.
07:17Somebody who's liable to turn up in overalls.
07:19And clogs.
07:20And toast the health of the bridesmaids in mess.
07:23Terry, if I hadn't asked Frank Clark, you'd be the first choice.
07:27Oh, I see.
07:28I wear the substitutes shirt, do I?
07:30I sit on the substitutes bench.
07:32I suppose if he makes a lousy speech, I'll be called on in the last ten minutes.
07:35Look, Terry, be reasonable.
07:38Not keeping in touch like that, you'd just become a memory.
07:41A fond memory, of course, but just a memory.
07:44A photo on a mantelpiece and I owe you in a sock drawer.
07:46A scar on me shin from that time we fought over Brenda Davidson.
07:51And that's all I am to you, is it?
07:54A scar on the shin.
07:56Only time five years.
07:58You could forget someone altogether in five years.
08:00You didn't forget the I.O.U. in your sock drawer, did you?
08:03What was that for?
08:04Coach trip, Malcolm Illumination, 1967.
08:07Five card brag.
08:08Eleven pounds, eight and six men.
08:09Eleven pounds, 42 and a half in decimals.
08:11I'll let you off the half.
08:12You'll get your money.
08:15You'll get your money.
08:17I've been away, you know.
08:18I know.
08:19That's why you're not the best man.
08:22So that's what this meal is about, is it?
08:24To make amends for the betrayal of friendship.
08:27Well, the office open, great food, big helpings, all on me.
08:32Oh, I don't know if I can now, Bob, after that news.
08:35What was the virus on that blow?
08:37I can't think of eating.
08:39I don't know if my appetite will ever be the same again.
08:44I'll have the prawn cocktail, fillet steak, well done.
08:47Chips, onion rings, mushrooms, grilled tomatoes, and sprouts.
08:51And can we have some more bread while you're at it?
08:53Certainly, sir.
08:54How's the melon?
08:55Oh, it's lovely, sir.
08:57Fine.
08:57Then the entrecote, please.
08:58Medium rare.
08:59Some vegetables for you, sir?
09:01No, thank you.
09:02Just a green salad tossed.
09:03And, um, no potatoes.
09:06And would you open the wine now so it could green?
09:08Of course.
09:10Thank you, sir.
09:12Thank you, sir.
09:13What's the matter with you?
09:14Green salad, no chips.
09:17I like to watch the carbohydrates.
09:18Oh, dear.
09:19Well, I must say, this is a very nice, Bob.
09:21Very nice indeed.
09:22Cheers.
09:22Cheers.
09:23I'm glad you're able to make such a miracle recovery in the last 24 hours.
09:27Oh, that's the thing with these foreign diseases.
09:29No, but it's amazing, isn't it?
09:30When I asked you to help me lay a new carpet in the new house this afternoon,
09:33you'd lost the use of both legs and your sight was failing.
09:35Today's wonder drugs?
09:59Fine, lovely.
10:00Thanks.
10:09No hard feelings, then, kidder.
10:18You're not the best man.
10:20It hurt, Bob.
10:21I can't say it didn't.
10:22I mean, who's been closest to you over the years?
10:24Not even your mother, never mind Frank Clark.
10:26When you first went out into the world, your first date mixed infants,
10:30it was as long ago as that when we met, you know.
10:32Oh, no, I remember, even though we're only five.
10:35The teacher said to me, there's your desk, there are your cranes,
10:38put your hand up if you want to be excused,
10:40play times at ten o'clock and don't talk to that Terry Collier.
10:43Yeah, Miss Einmarsh always did have it in for me.
10:47It's amazing how character shows at such an early age,
10:49even at five you were trouble, a hazard to other children.
10:53Don't talk to Terry Collier, that was like our school motto.
10:55I was your first friend.
10:58I was the first person who stole your tricycle pump,
11:00the first person who spit your head open with a brick.
11:03Frank Clark can't claim things like that in his wedding speech.
11:06He can't recall colourful anecdotes from the past.
11:08I don't think many colourful anecdotes from our past
11:11are fit to go into a wedding speech.
11:13Frank Clark didn't sacrifice five years of his life for you.
11:17Oh, God, we're back to that, are we?
11:19Yes, we are, mate.
11:20Five years of sweat and toil.
11:23And pain.
11:23One day we're going to hear about that thigh of yours,
11:27that famous war wound.
11:28Not from my lips you won't.
11:30You told us that apart from getting married in Germany,
11:32the most memorable thing that happened to you in the army
11:34was getting tattooed on your left buttock.
11:38So what happened?
11:39Did the needle slip?
11:43Now, the waiter never did bring that bread.
11:44Is your friend all right, sir?
11:51Oh, yes, he was cursed by the Incas, you see.
11:54And during the full moon, he loses the use of his left leg.
11:58I see, sir.
11:59Hey, did you clock those two over there?
12:16I clocked you clocking them.
12:17I saw you give them what you think is your winning look.
12:20I've won a few with it.
12:21You've lost hell of a sight more.
12:24They're tasty, though, aren't they, eh?
12:26Well, they certainly cured your limp.
12:28Or was it a case of take up thy bread and walk?
12:33Well, what I would like to know is,
12:34what are they doing here alone?
12:36I mean, in a place like this.
12:38They're just two nice girls having dinner together.
12:40It does happen, you know.
12:41Even before women's lib,
12:42it was possible to see unescorted females in public places.
12:46On a Saturday night?
12:47Spare?
12:49They're up to no good.
12:51God, you've got some bigoted sexual ideas.
12:54Widows are desperate for it.
12:56Women without handbags are depraved.
12:58Negroes are more virile.
13:00A few years back,
13:01any fella that played tennis was a puff in your book.
13:03Whoops!
13:04Yeah, but a few years back,
13:06we wouldn't have been letting the minutes tick by like this.
13:09Shall we ask them over?
13:10No, certainly not.
13:11Just ask them to join us.
13:12They can pay for themselves.
13:14No!
13:15I'm not out on the pool.
13:17It's supposed to be the end of an era, isn't it?
13:19That's what this meal's supposed to be about.
13:20Yeah, yeah, I suppose so.
13:24A few years back,
13:25they wouldn't have stood a chance, would they?
13:27A few years back?
13:29No.
13:30I mean, we weren't half bad, admit it.
13:31We didn't half put it about.
13:33Oh, I won't argue about that.
13:34We were deadly.
13:35No woman was safe.
13:36We were a team.
13:37A terrible two.
13:38The dynamic duo.
13:39Twin strikers.
13:40Yeah, Chivers and Hurst.
13:41Lee and Bell.
13:42Yeah, what was the best season?
13:43Oh, 1965, definitely.
13:46It was a vintage year.
13:47It was a very good year for blue-eyed girls.
13:49Blue-eyed, green-eyed, cross-eyed, we took all the...
13:53A string of victories.
13:55We were the champions.
13:57Champions of the Roxy Ballroom and the Marimba Coffee Bar.
14:00We were the champions!
14:03Oh.
14:04Gracias, amigo.
14:05Thank you very much.
14:09Excuse me, please.
14:161965.
14:18Did, uh...
14:19Did you really have a string of victories?
14:22What?
14:22Well, I mean, I know we took a lot of girls out that year,
14:25but did you really have any complete, total,
14:28knock-out, all-the-way victories?
14:31Well, if you're going to put it that way, uh...
14:33Yes, I am.
14:34I am putting it that way.
14:35Be honest.
14:37Complete victories.
14:38Complete.
14:39All the way, right?
14:39All the way.
14:42Honestly.
14:44No.
14:46I thought as much.
14:47What about you?
14:49I once got extra time with Dorothy Armisen, but...
14:51Yeah, you'd never crack that defence.
14:55I was just thinking.
14:56What?
14:56A whole season.
14:58We must have been the only twin strikers that never scored.
15:05I...
15:06The end of an era.
15:12I will.
15:14Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
15:19I will.
15:20It's one way of looking at it, isn't it?
15:22There were grand days, though, but...
15:23Aye, the best is yet to come.
15:25Great times.
15:26It's one way of looking at it, isn't it?
15:29Won't you think what we must have been like, eh?
15:32I mean, now we're mature and civilised,
15:34but then, dear God, we didn't know how from nowt.
15:37So, Randy, we chased everything that moved.
15:41Mind you, we were choosy.
15:43They had to be awake.
15:44Oh, yeah.
15:47That was the only thing that mattered.
15:49Well, that, the football.
15:50Yeah, you know, I think that we're still the same people, basically.
15:53You know, underneath our civilised exteriors.
15:55I mean, I know that I'm more mature now.
15:58Sexually is, um...
15:59Certainly.
16:00...an experience like, but, um...
16:03Still all down to sex and football life, isn't it?
16:05Pretty much the same for everybody, I should think.
16:07No, there's some people who don't like sex.
16:10Sex all sorts.
16:12My twin obsessions.
16:14That's what Thelma says.
16:15Sex and football are my twin obsessions.
16:18She reckons that the height of ecstasy for me
16:20would be to make love to her in E-block
16:22during the second leg of a European Cup time.
16:26By the time our team gets into Europe,
16:28making love in public will be legal.
16:31Nigel Hutchinson, you know Nigel,
16:33lives up behind the ice rink.
16:34Oh, aye, aye.
16:34He had to see a psychiatrist about his obsession.
16:38Never.
16:38Little Hutch?
16:39Yeah, yeah.
16:40He had to see a doctor.
16:40The doctor said that what was wrong with him
16:42was that subconsciously
16:44he wanted to make love to every woman in the world.
16:47What's wrong with that?
16:48No, but with him it was an illness.
16:49He'll drive himself mad.
16:51Poor little Hutch.
16:52Knowing that he's not even going to get through North Shields,
16:54never mind the world.
16:57Aye, well,
16:57there's always somebody worse off than yourself.
16:59At least I don't have to go through that with other women.
17:03At least I've got Thelma,
17:04and I'm content to be with just her.
17:05Oh, come on, Bob.
17:07You've been with Thelma for years,
17:09but that's never stopped you from shopping around,
17:11especially at school.
17:12I am on the brink of matrimony.
17:14That's something slightly stronger
17:15than carrying a satchel home from Park Juniors.
17:18Yeah, well,
17:18those two over there
17:19might be your last chance
17:20to grab somebody else's satchel.
17:22I don't want to.
17:23I don't want to.
17:25I know that...
17:26Well, I know that you're separated now,
17:28and your marriage didn't work out,
17:29but...
17:30Well, there must have been a time.
17:31There must have been a time with you and you two
17:32when you were first caught in
17:33or when you first got married,
17:35when your eyeballs didn't swivel out the sockets
17:38every time you saw another frowline.
17:40Bob, there is never a time in any man's life
17:42when he doesn't notice other women.
17:44Even my Uncle Norman,
17:45he's 82 and bedridden.
17:46He left on his Meals on Wheels, lady, the other day.
17:50Well, I...
17:51He's refused to go back.
17:54Well, wasn't there a time with you and you two
17:56when you got engaged?
17:58When love was a many-splendid thing?
18:00Oh, you mean that period
18:01when you used to thrill to the sound of her voice
18:04and give her secret glances
18:05and all that rubbish.
18:06The gooey period.
18:07If you like, if you like.
18:09When you weren't looking at every other bit of passing skirt.
18:12Well, I don't know, Bob, you see.
18:14I met you when I was in the army.
18:15I was a war bride, groom.
18:18I wasn't in a town, you see.
18:20I was on a barren, windswept German plane
18:22and the only excitement was a sing-song and a naffy
18:25and a cup of lukewarm cocoa.
18:27There wasn't any spare, you see,
18:29so I never had to test out my fidelity.
18:32I don't know, I'd gone on over here
18:34running the sexual gauntlet of the permissive society.
18:38I've managed.
18:40Well, yes, but I mean,
18:41it's probably because you're saturated with sex.
18:44You're only marrying Thelma
18:45because you're ready to limp into retirement.
18:47I'm aware of other women, you know.
18:51I'm aware of other women.
18:52I have to drive every morning past the Ministry of Pensions.
18:56You're not telling me all those thousands of teenage typists
18:58aren't a navigational hazard.
19:00But a mature person doesn't forget his responsibilities
19:03as a fiancée and a road user.
19:06So how come last Tuesday
19:07you ran into the back of a laundry van?
19:10Clutch slipped.
19:12Well, watch your brownie doesn't slip
19:13while you're clocking them two over there.
19:15I am not clocking those two over there.
19:17I am not clocking them.
19:18I'm aware that they're there.
19:19I'm vaguely aware that one of them's pretty.
19:21Which one?
19:22The one with the dark hair and the black dress
19:23and the pretty eyes
19:24and that cute way of wrinkling up her nose when she laughs.
19:27Oh, I see.
19:28It was just a vague impression, was it?
19:30Yes, but compared to Thelma, well, how could her?
19:33You'll find someone yourself one day
19:34and you realise how wonderful it is
19:37to have found life's partner.
19:39It's not Bob and Terry anymore, you know.
19:42It's Bob and Thelma and their friend Terry.
19:46Thelma is my partner in life now.
19:48There's new words in my vocabulary now,
19:50words like marriage, trust, fidelity.
19:52Boredom.
19:55Old words I have forgotten,
19:57like tale spare, score, crumpet.
20:01Old days and old ways are gone forever.
20:04I bet we could pull those two over there, though.
20:11Those days are over, you've just said.
20:12I just bet we could, that's all.
20:14I bet we could.
20:14What are they doing here, eh?
20:15Alone, in a place like this, a few years back?
20:17Bob, Bob, Bob, we're entering into another era, remember?
20:20You've told me so at least ten times tonight.
20:22I bet we could pull those two bits of spare and score.
20:25Well, your vocabulary's coming back.
20:27I fancy that dark one.
20:29Actually, I fancy both of them.
20:31My God, you've got Hutchinson's disease.
20:34I wonder, I just wonder, don't you?
20:36I just wonder if the old technique's still there,
20:38the old magic.
20:40Waiter, watch this, I've learned a trick or two.
20:42Waiter, I wonder if you'd do me a favour.
20:44I wonder if you'd ask the two ladies in the corner
20:46if she'd say that we think we recognise them from somewhere
20:50and if they don't think we've been too forward,
20:52perhaps they'd care to join us for coffee and liqueurs?
20:54Yes, sir.
20:56Good year, that was good.
20:59A few years back,
21:00would he just stop at that table on the way to the lab
21:02and said, do you fancy a jar?
21:04A few years back,
21:05it would have been a few jars and nothing.
21:08They've got the message, they've got the message.
21:10Down, boy, down.
21:10Hold it back.
21:11Just remember, remember, this is your fault.
21:14It was your idea.
21:15I can handle it.
21:16I always could.
21:16Yeah, well, if they turn out to be touring American heiresses
21:19on the lookout for bits of northern rough
21:21and whip us two back off to the States
21:22and set us up in mansions in Palm Springs or Hawaii
21:25with yachts and hovercrafts,
21:27it wasn't my fault.
21:30They're coming over.
21:31They're only coming over.
21:32This could be the night the twin strikers find their feet.
21:35Or lose their heads.
21:36I knew we could do it.
21:37The old magic's still there.
21:39Oh, hello.
21:39How do you do?
21:40Would you care to park it?
21:42I hope you don't think that we were being too, well,
21:45um, no.
21:47No.
21:47You see, it was just that, um,
21:48well, it was just that we thought that we knew you from somewhere.
21:51Yes, I'm Bob and this is Terry.
21:53I'm Norma.
21:54And I'm Susan.
21:55Norma.
21:55Susan.
21:56Susan.
21:57Thought they looked familiar.
21:58Yes, uh, you've never been to Palm Springs, have you?
22:01Or Hawaii?
22:03Uh, Park Secondary Modern.
22:04Pardon?
22:06Uh, Park Secondary Modern.
22:07That's where you know us from.
22:08But you wouldn't remember us.
22:10You were in the seniors when we were in the juniors.
22:13You mean, you remember us from then?
22:17Bob Ferris and Terry Collier?
22:19Of course we do.
22:21You're the one the teachers warned us about.
22:23And don't talk about Terry Collier.
22:26Not that you would have talked to us.
22:28Not you two.
22:30Really?
22:31Well, we couldn't have had a look in.
22:33Not with you two.
22:34Oh, really?
22:34You were just objects of desire.
22:36Figures to idolise.
22:38Oh, young girls' fantasies.
22:40Glimps with friends.
22:41So near, yet so far.
22:44Isn't it lucky we met?
22:47Well, I hope you don't think we'll let you pick us up.
22:49No, no, no, no, no.
22:50But we had to take a chance of meeting you in the flesh.
22:53You were legends in your own lifetime at Park Juniors.
22:56Well, I hope we're not going to let these two young ladies down, Robert.
22:59It's not easy being a living legend, you know.
23:03I think you've lost weight since those days.
23:05Oh, yes, yes.
23:05He watches his carbohydrates.
23:07Oh, but you're just the same.
23:08You always were...
23:09Wiry.
23:11Would the girls like a drink, Bob?
23:14The bar's closed.
23:15Pardon?
23:16It's too late for a drink.
23:17The bar's closed.
23:18What a shame.
23:18No, it isn't.
23:19Yes, it is.
23:20If we want a drink, we'll have to go on somewhere.
23:23Oh, I see, yes.
23:24Goodness me, the bar's shot.
23:26What a pity.
23:26Well, we'll have to go on somewhere.
23:29Well, where were you thinking of going?
23:30Yes.
23:31Yes.
23:34That's a good question.
23:35We could go back to my house.
23:37We could go back to my house.
23:39You see, I have this house where we could go back to.
23:41We could go back to my house, which would be a good place to go back to.
23:48I'll tell you what, Bob.
23:50Why don't we go back to your house?
23:53Yes.
23:53Why not?
23:54We could play a few records and have a few drinks.
23:56What a good idea.
23:57Go back to your place, have a few records, play a few drinks.
24:00Well, I think that might not be a very good idea.
24:03Why?
24:04Um, it might be indiscreet.
24:06Something you'll regret in the morning.
24:08I won't.
24:09I won't.
24:10I promise you, I won't.
24:11I won't either.
24:12Well, I think it's a bad idea.
24:14Why?
24:14Please, why?
24:16Because you're marrying me sister next week.
24:24I don't feel well.
24:29Terry's come to see you, Bob.
24:36Oh, not before time.
24:38Well, here's your tea.
24:39Now, be sure and take that pill, Pep.
24:41Oh.
24:42Would you like a cup, Terry?
24:43If there's one, mate, Mrs. Ferryside.
24:44It's notable.
24:47How have you been, Petal?
24:51I have been at death's door.
24:53No, you haven't.
24:54Your mum says your temperature's never been above 101.
24:56That bug's losing its power.
24:58Poor little bug.
24:59Couldn't take the north-eastern climate.
25:01Even now, it's winging its way back to the foothills of the Andes.
25:04Knackered.
25:06It's fascinating, though, isn't it, eh?
25:08How a little virus can travel that far.
25:11It's fascinating how long it's taken you to get here.
25:13Three days I've lain here.
25:14Hasn't Thelma been round?
25:15No, she had a touch of it herself.
25:17That's why she didn't go out with the girls the other night.
25:19Oh, I see.
25:20You sure it wasn't because of the other night she hasn't been round?
25:22She doesn't know about that.
25:24Susan didn't let on.
25:25Oh, didn't she?
25:27Don't sound so sorry.
25:28Well, don't get at me, mate.
25:30It was you that leapt in there.
25:31I tried to hold you back.
25:33And what came over you?
25:35That wine went straight to your loins.
25:37Well, obviously I wasn't myself.
25:39Obviously that bug was still in my system.
25:41Obviously I was delirious.
25:42Obviously.
25:43Here, I brought you this month.
25:45It's spreading.
25:47Worksop, Painting, Northbury.
25:50That place is just full of Edinburgh widders.
25:52I want to ask you something.
25:54Anguished Mark and Arbour's back.
25:56Even more anguished.
25:57He's lost the key to his stocks.
26:00I want to ask you something important.
26:02And what about that, eh?
26:03Eh?
26:04Mall of the month.
26:06She's going straight into my next fantasy.
26:09If you'd come round earlier, I was going to ask you something important.
26:13Ask away, little pale face.
26:14I've had a second thought.
26:18Ah, and you...
26:19Not about my bride.
26:20Oh, you mean the bride's maid?
26:22Well, I can't blame you.
26:22I've had a few of myself.
26:23She's a bonnie girl, that Susan.
26:25Yes, you'll be all right there at the wedding.
26:27Of course I won't be all right there.
26:28How can I be all right right there?
26:30She'll be thigh to thigh with her best man on the head table.
26:33And I'll be stuck away in the corner somewhere next to my mother and one of your hideous cousins.
26:37No, you won't.
26:38If you're thigh to thigh with anybody's thigh, it'll be Susan's thigh.
26:42That's what I wanted to say to you.
26:45I want you to be the best man, Terry.
26:48What you said the other night is perfectly true.
26:50We've been through everything together, even Chilean flu.
26:53So, how could I get married and not have you as my best man?
26:58My best friend in all the world.
27:02What about Frank?
27:03Oh, forget about Frank.
27:05I'll square it with Frank.
27:06That's not important.
27:07The thing is, will you do it?
27:11Right.
27:12I don't know what to say, Bob.
27:16Means a lot to me, Terry.
27:19Well, of course I will, mate.
27:22It's my privilege.
27:24Here's your tea, Terry.
27:25Thank you, Mrs. Ferris.
27:27I shouldn't get too close if I were you.
27:28You don't want to get reinfected.
27:30I'd risk that.
27:32For a friend.
27:33You know, everyone's going down.
27:35Isn't it awful about poor Frank Clark?
27:37He's developed complications.
27:40He's going to have to miss the wedding and everything.
27:47Is he?
27:47Did I say something wrong?
27:52Oh.
27:53What happened to you, whatever happened to me?
28:06What became the people we used to be?
28:14Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me?
28:22What became the people we used to be?
28:29Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me?
28:35What became the people I used to be?
28:39Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to me?
28:40Oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to you.
28:43Oh, what's happened to you?
28:52Oh, what happened to you?
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