- 5 months ago
First broadcast 16th January 1973.
Terry pays a surprise visit to his parents but they are away at a funeral so Bob agrees to his staying in his and Thelma's new house until they return.
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Brigit Forsyth - Thelma
Sheila Fearn - Audrey Collier
Derek Etchells - Stan
Terry pays a surprise visit to his parents but they are away at a funeral so Bob agrees to his staying in his and Thelma's new house until they return.
Rodney Bewes - Bob Ferris
James Bolam - Terry Collier
Brigit Forsyth - Thelma
Sheila Fearn - Audrey Collier
Derek Etchells - Stan
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:01Ooh, what happened to you? Whatever happened to me? And what became of the people we used to be?
00:15Tomorrow's almost over. The day went by so fast. It's the only thing to look forward to. The past.
00:31The past.
00:45Elmer, please. Shhh. Elmer. I want to talk to you.
00:49Well, you can't. Not here.
00:51Why are you being so unreasonable?
00:53I'm not being unreasonable.
00:55Yes, you are. Why are you in such a state?
00:57I'm not in a state.
00:59Yes, you are. You've just put human sexual response under hobbies.
01:07Don't you recognise the symptoms? It's shock. It's delayed shock.
01:11It's the shock of knowing that Terry Collier is back in this town.
01:14Am I to blame for that?
01:16You see, my body decides to return home now to his own hometown.
01:19It just seems funny to me that he comes out of the army now, just before we're getting married.
01:22Oh, I was to blame for that. I wrote to the war office and said,
01:25Please, could Corporal Collier have a compassionate discharge so he can come home now and drag me from the altar?
01:30That's what he'd like to do.
01:32He's changed. He's a different person. He's not the same person anymore. Five years is a long time.
01:37Why did you two break your journey last night? I mean, halfway home, why did you suddenly get off the train?
01:43Because he was putting the doubts in. That's why. There will now be a short intermission for second thoughts.
01:48That's not the case at all. Thelma, you're being absurd. Absurd.
01:52Why else would you get off at Doncaster in the middle of the night?
01:55We were seduced by the distant sounds of merriment, laughter and depravity.
02:00Ho Porter, we said. What goes on? What goes on, man? It's Mardi Gras. It's carnival time.
02:06Young virgins knotted flowers in our hair. We were swayed to primitive jungle rhythms.
02:12And couples copulated the length of the Doncaster bypass.
02:15If you haven't been a Doncaster at Mardi Gras, you haven't lived.
02:22Oh.
02:24He's back. Terry Collier's back.
02:28Shhh.
02:45Oh.
02:46Oh.
02:47Oh.
02:48Oh.
02:49Oh.
02:50Oh.
02:51Oh.
02:52Oh.
02:53Oh.
02:54Oh.
02:55Oh.
02:56Oh.
02:57Oh.
02:58Oh.
02:59Oh.
03:00Oh.
03:01Oh.
03:02Oh.
03:03What's the matter? What have you done?
03:04God.
03:05God.
03:06God.
03:07What have you done?
03:08Just put me foot on the boiling bloody cattle.
03:10That's all.
03:11What for?
03:12What do you mean, what for?
03:15Well, why would you put your foot on a boiling kettle?
03:17I mean, what a daft thing to do.
03:19Well, I didn't do it on purpose.
03:20Do you think I did it on purpose?
03:21Do you think I deliberately and intentionally put me, sustained myself first degree burns?
03:26Well, you gave me ever such a shock yelling like that.
03:29I thought you'd had an accident.
03:31I have had an accident.
03:34What do you want, anyway?
03:36Milk.
03:37No sugar, please.
03:38Round here, I meant.
03:39I've come to see you, haven't I?
03:41I've come to extend the hand of friendship and welcome on this the first day of your freedom.
03:46Oh, come on.
03:47Cheer up, man.
03:48Today's supposed to be a day of great joy and celebration for your family and your friends
03:53and the shareholders of the Scottish and Newcastle breweries.
03:56Joy and celebration, you what?
03:59Me mum and dad aren't even home.
04:01Five years I've been gone, not counting leaves.
04:04Five years of hardship and toil, solitude and self-sacrifice.
04:08And what happens?
04:09I get back, the key's under the mat, there's no heat in the house
04:12and a packet of frozen cod balls in the fridge.
04:16Was there even a note?
04:17I know I'm allergic to fish.
04:19Not fish and chips, you're not.
04:21Well, it's different.
04:22It's a different sort of fish, that.
04:24Oh, bring up your Audrey man, she'll know where they are.
04:26There's no heat in this house, you know.
04:28The bed's not aired.
04:30This milk's probably sour.
04:32No paper.
04:33Wireless needs a new battery.
04:35I've got a good mind to sign on again.
04:37It's not like your folks to be away, is it?
04:39Didn't sleep a wink.
04:41Not a wink.
04:42Sat by the window and watched the dawn come up, I did.
04:45You know, Bob, watching the dawn come up over this town, watching the sun rise up over the terraced houses and the brewery, and over the glue works and the distant shot tower of the lead factory, well, it must be one of the most ugly sights in this world.
05:06You were lucky to see as much as you did.
05:09Made me wonder why I'd ever come back.
05:12I started feeling homesick for the army.
05:15I started thinking, you know, about all the places and the lads.
05:20Been with them a long time, some of them.
05:22Been through a lot together.
05:24You and McLaren now?
05:26I was with him since basic training.
05:28Next beds for five years.
05:30I'm surprised there wasn't talk.
05:33You wouldn't understand the friendships that are forged in combat.
05:37Combat?
05:39Taffy Lewis.
05:40I was with him in Germany.
05:42I was with him the night he brained a second lieutenant with a hawk bottle.
05:46Combat.
05:47Two years in the glasshouse they gave him for that.
05:50Still early to met up with old Clarky there.
05:53Little Chippy was sent up soon after.
05:56You got him with quite a nice set then.
05:58What's that supposed to mean?
06:00Well, to air you talk, you'd think you'd just been released from prison, not the forces.
06:04There were a good lot of lads then.
06:06What were they known as?
06:07The Dirty Dozen?
06:08I trust Taffy Lewis with my life.
06:11Not me wallet, but certainly me.
06:16Well, all that's in the past now, isn't it?
06:20All that's behind you now.
06:21It's time to make plans and forge ahead and build a future.
06:25Oh, well, some of us have been able to, haven't we?
06:27Some of us have been able to forge ahead and build a future,
06:29while some of us were serving Queen and Country,
06:31keeping these shores safe,
06:32so that some of us could safely get on with forging ahead and building a future,
06:35while some of us not so fortunate couldn't.
06:37Pardon?
06:38You've obviously done all right for yourself.
06:42And a mortgage, and a car.
06:44You've got a few premium bonds, have you?
06:46And I bet Thelma's got a little something stuffed away for a rainy day in the post office.
06:50You've never liked Thelma, have you?
06:52It's the other way around, mate.
06:53No, no, you've always resented her.
06:55Oh, God, I can just see my life stretching ahead of me.
06:59My marriage is going to be like a tennis match,
07:01with you and Thelma serving for advantages over each other.
07:05I'll just be the ball that's bashed from one to the other trying to love all.
07:09I might as well make plans for the divorce now.
07:13No point in wasting time.
07:15Mental cruelty, I suppose, you'd come under.
07:18Well, that's certainly not going to be adultery.
07:24You might as well have the house.
07:25Only fair, only fair.
07:27Hey, I'm off.
07:28Not supposed to be at the house now, decorating.
07:30Is it worth it?
07:31What?
07:32Well, if she's going to have the house,
07:33she might as at least hang her old wallpaper.
07:35You know what you are, don't you?
07:37You'd be what's referred to as a just cause, an impediment.
07:40I am a wounded ex-serviceman
07:42simply trying to get back into society.
07:44That's all I am.
07:45A society that obviously doesn't want me.
07:48Oh!
07:51Now what's the matter?
07:52Fuck me!
07:53Fuck me!
07:54What?
07:55Why don't you go up to your Audrey's man,
07:57up to your sister.
07:58She'll be ever so surprised to see you.
07:59And when she says,
08:00Hey, where have you come from?
08:02You can say I've come hot foot from our house.
08:07Hello, Terry.
08:10Hello, Stan.
08:11Mind.
08:12I haven't seen you for a long time.
08:14On leave, are you?
08:15Finished.
08:16Got back last night.
08:17Get away.
08:18You're looking fit.
08:20I'm full of cold.
08:21Ah, well, you'll feel the cold up here.
08:23That wind gets right through you.
08:26You were in topics, weren't you?
08:28More on this.
08:29Just off to see your Audrey, are you?
08:31Aye.
08:32Cup of tea.
08:33Ah, you'll be having a few bevies this week, eh?
08:35More than likely.
08:36Ah, you'll have a grand time.
08:38The welcome mat.
08:39Home is the hero, eh?
08:41The big hello.
08:45Good God, it's you.
08:47Is that all you can say to your little brother
08:49after five years?
08:51Wipe your feet.
08:55Home is the hero.
08:57Where's me mum and dad?
08:59They've gone to your Uncle Norman's funeral.
09:00Who?
09:01Uncle Norman.
09:02Eh?
09:03Hi.
09:04In Carlisle.
09:05Hi.
09:06How is he?
09:07How do you expect him to be at his own funeral?
09:10I'm sorry.
09:12Well, he had a good innings, hadn't he?
09:14How old was he?
09:1580 what?
09:1694.
09:18When are they coming back?
09:19Well, they've gone to your auntie's for a day or two.
09:22She's 90, you know.
09:23Hardly worth them coming home, is it?
09:25I don't know.
09:26I've saved myself a double journey.
09:27What a terrible thing to say, our Terry.
09:29Oh, I'm sorry.
09:30I'm just not in the best frame of mind this morning.
09:32I didn't get back till six o'clock.
09:34House was like ice.
09:35There weren't enough sheets.
09:37Couldn't find hot water bottle and I'm full of cold.
09:39Well, you didn't come breathing your germs round here.
09:41Not with a baby.
09:42What baby?
09:43We had another one six months ago.
09:45What make?
09:46Go.
09:47Emma Fleur.
09:48Fleur?
09:49Hmm.
09:50F-L-E-U-R.
09:51You know, like in the Foresight Saga.
09:54It means flower in French.
09:55We wrote and told you.
09:56The mail didn't always get through some of the places I've been.
10:01You've been in devices for the last six months.
10:04Officially?
10:06Look, I couldn't just stay here, could I?
10:09Just till the folks get back.
10:11I feel awful.
10:12The damp's not off playing this up.
10:15Oh, what's the matter with your leg?
10:17I'll never talk about it.
10:19Why can't you go and stay at Bob's?
10:21She wouldn't let me.
10:22His mother?
10:23No, Thelma.
10:24The fiancé.
10:25She wouldn't hear of it.
10:26Oh.
10:27Oh, it's awful at home, Audrey, man.
10:29It's empty.
10:30There's no food.
10:31And you can never get a decent picture on that set.
10:33Well, you can't stop here.
10:35Not with that cold.
10:36I couldn't take the risk.
10:38If one of us gets it, we'll all go down with it.
10:40And Wayne's very chesty.
10:42Who's Wayne?
10:43Oh, for God's sake, Terry, he's your godson.
10:46Oh, that Wayne.
10:47I thought for a minute you got married again.
10:50And you owe him for four birthdays, four Christmases and a christening.
10:55Well, accept premium bonds.
10:56You never know you looked.
10:57Well done.
10:58Well done.
10:59Do you want a cup of tea?
11:00There are only tea bags, but there's some cream crackers on the table there.
11:04I didn't expect the freedom of the city.
11:06I didn't expect a champagne buffet with the mayor and a march past.
11:09But, you know, when you've been away for five years serving your queen and country,
11:13you expect to come back to a little more than a cup of tea and a cream cracker.
11:16Just don't take sugar.
11:17And all the orders.
11:18Wipe your feet.
11:19Don't sneeze.
11:20And don't sit there.
11:21I've just ironed that lot.
11:22Good God.
11:23Jerry?
11:24Jerry?
11:25Jerry?
11:26Is that you?
11:27I've got to tie in the shoelace.
11:28What shoelace?
11:29Hey?
11:30Oh, no, no.
11:31I've got the tongue tangled up with the torn heel.
11:32How are you then?
11:33Come up to see the house, did you?
11:34No, no, no.
11:35I was just passing.
11:36I didn't know it was your house.
11:37I've been up to our orderies.
11:38I was just passing.
11:39I didn't know it was your house.
11:40Is this your house?
11:41Coincidence, eh?
11:42Right.
11:43There she is.
11:44Hey, it's a cunny little house though, but...
11:45We haven't got a name for it yet.
11:46It's a cunny little house.
11:47Oh, no, no.
11:48I've got the tongue tangled up with the torn heel.
11:49How are you then?
11:50Come up to see the house, did you?
11:51No, no, no.
11:52I was just passing.
11:53I didn't know it was your house.
11:54I've been up to our orderies.
11:55I was just passing.
11:56I didn't know it was your house.
11:57Is this your house?
12:00Coincidence, eh?
12:01Right.
12:02There she is.
12:05Hey, it's a cunny little house though, but...
12:09We haven't got a name for it yet.
12:11Well, you'll certainly need one, won't you?
12:14I can never find it again.
12:16Rows of them.
12:21No, they're not.
12:23They're quite different.
12:24Our living room's 16 by 12.
12:26They're 15 by 13 down there.
12:29Must be blind.
12:32Underfloor central heating.
12:37We've decided to be all electric with plenty of ports.
12:40They're well made jobs, aren't they?
12:43This wall plump?
12:49What?
12:50Well, of course it is.
12:52What makes you think it isn't?
12:53Oh, nothing, nothing.
12:54Just that I've got an instinct for that sort of thing.
12:57There's a nasty crack in that plaster.
12:59Where?
13:00Oh, that's just settlement, isn't it?
13:01There's bound to be a bit of that.
13:02There's bound to be a bit of that.
13:03There's bound to be a few teething troubles.
13:04Like having a new car.
13:05Been having trouble with that at all?
13:07No.
13:08I haven't been having that trouble with that at all.
13:10Apart from the starter motor.
13:12Fifteen.
13:13I'm going to make it fifteen.
13:14What?
13:15Fifteen.
13:16Definitely.
13:17Well, it depends what size shoe you take, doesn't it?
13:19You've always had a large foot.
13:21What the hell is that?
13:22The guillotine?
13:23Yes.
13:24Well, I admit that is something that needs fixing.
13:25I've broken me finger.
13:26No, you haven't, man.
13:27You haven't broken it.
13:28Not if you can wiggle it about.
13:29Get off!
13:30Have you noticed the windows?
13:31Bags of light.
13:32It's a feature of these houses.
13:34Well, it makes you're overlooked, doesn't it?
13:35I mean, being so cramped.
13:36There's not much privacy, is there?
13:37Privacy?
13:38Compared to what we were brought up in, this is Woburn Abbey.
13:41You'd think the houses we lived in as kids, if you sneezed, they said, bless you next door.
13:46No, but them houses had some collager about them.
13:48There's just so much noise.
13:49There's just so much noise.
13:50You're so good.
13:51I'm so good.
13:52I'm so good.
13:53I'm so good.
13:54I'm so good.
13:55I'm so good.
13:56I'm so good.
13:57I'm so good.
13:58I'm so good.
13:59I'm so good.
14:00I'm so good.
14:01I'm so good.
14:02I'm so good.
14:03I'm so good.
14:04I'm so good.
14:05There's nothing greater about them.
14:06There's just something depressing about these estates.
14:08It's the thought of you all.
14:10All getting up at the same time.
14:11All eating the same sort of low-calorie breakfast cereal.
14:14All coming home at half past six, switching on the same program at the same time and having
14:18it off the same two nights of the week.
14:22I haven't had a chance to personalise it yet.
14:24Once everybody moves in and does their own decorating and choosing all the curtains and
14:29that.
14:30Got a flair for that kind of thing, asked Thelma.
14:32We're having mauve and seaweed green.
14:34At least that's unusual.
14:36We were going to have yellow, but they're having that next door.
14:39Ah!
14:40Well, that's it.
14:41I mean, that's me point, isn't it?
14:42You've said it all.
14:43It just seems sad to me when you realise that the only way people can tell the difference
14:48between you and anybody else is by the colour of your curtains.
14:52Well, what's wrong with being the same as everyone else?
14:54What's wrong with trying to make a little bit of modest progress?
14:57I've worked hard the last five years and this is what I've got to show for it.
15:01This and the car.
15:03Might not mean much to the Burtons, but it means a hell of a lot to me.
15:07And what's so special about your lifestyle?
15:10You're homeless, jobless, carless and single.
15:13What does that amount to?
15:15Terry Collier, bachelor pedestrian.
15:18Oh, I'm sorry, kid.
15:22That wasn't a very nice thing to say.
15:25Stupid, anyway.
15:27I mean, why should all this appeal to you, eh?
15:30I mean, you don't want to be lumbered with a house and a wife.
15:33That's not your scene.
15:35Can you see you married?
15:37With all those birds out there?
15:39I was always the one falling in love all over the place.
15:43But not you.
15:45You're a born bachelor, aren't you?
15:47Ah, you're right.
15:49Naturally independent.
15:51True, true.
15:52There you are, then.
15:53Only one problem.
15:55What?
15:56I'm married.
16:06I'm married.
16:08I am a married man.
16:13Well, say something, then.
16:16Haven't you got anything to say?
16:22Have you got a bottle opener?
16:26What for?
16:29I need a drink.
16:42Right.
16:43Now start at the beginning.
16:44Don't skip around.
16:45Start at the top.
16:46I want it all.
16:47Bob, look, this is the story of my marriage, not the serial on Woman's Hour.
16:52It's the story of the century, mate.
16:54It's so unreal.
16:56It's like me getting a live peerage.
16:59Or Hartlepool winning promotion.
17:01Well, I'm glad you're going to get so much fun out of it.
17:04Why don't you invite all your mates round, eh?
17:06Perhaps I can give a talk at the Institute and illustrate it with London slides and you can all sit round peeing yourselves at my misfortune.
17:13Wounds are deep.
17:14The scars have not yet healed.
17:15Sorry, I didn't realise.
17:16I've only just learned to live with it.
17:17Please, forget it.
17:18Forget it, mate.
17:19Don't talk about it.
17:20If it hurts you too much, don't feel you have to tell it all.
17:21Just give me the recorded highlights.
17:22You can't wait, can you?
17:23I'm sorry.
17:24I'm sorry.
17:25I'm sorry.
17:26During the course of my military career, two things happened which have left an imprint on me for the rest of my life.
17:31The leg.
17:32Apart from that, the leg.
17:33I didn't realise.
17:34I didn't realise.
17:35I've only just learned to live with it.
17:36I've only just learned to live with it.
17:37Please, forget it.
17:38Forget it, mate.
17:39Don't talk about it.
17:40If it hurts you too much, don't feel you have to tell it all.
17:43Just give me the recorded highlights.
17:45You can't wait, can you?
17:46I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
17:47During the course of my military career, two things happened which have left an imprint on me for the rest of my life.
17:51Apart from that, that I can live with.
17:53No.
17:54The first, was when I got mortal one night in Hamburg and got tattooed on the nest-butter.
18:04The second, was on a rainy afternoon in November 69, when Euter Palmgarten, spinster of the parish of Munchen Gladbach and I, got married.
18:18Incredible.
18:20Fact.
18:23Was she...
18:24Funnily enough, she wasn't.
18:27Rich Dad?
18:28Well, not especially.
18:29I suppose you had a few fennigs put to one side.
18:31I don't really know.
18:37Love?
18:38That's your last alternative, isn't it?
18:41She's not in the club, she's not loaded, so this must be love.
18:46I'm not sorry mate, I'm just going on what I know of you.
18:49Your priorities were always firmly worked out.
18:52Do you or don't you, darling?
18:54As long as she did, you weren't fussy.
18:57You'd have had a frog if you'd stopped hopping long enough.
19:01I'm not denying, I'm not denying that I'll put it about a bit.
19:10All I am saying is that I am capable of deeper emotions than wham bam thank you ma'am.
19:16I'm not the person you used to know.
19:20I know now that there's more to life than the physical.
19:23I know now there's more to people than the way they look.
19:27I've changed.
19:28So, sex didn't come into it?
19:31Of course sex came into it.
19:33I haven't changed all that much.
19:37We had no idea.
19:39It wasn't in the local paper.
19:40Your parents never said anything.
19:42Well they wouldn't, would they?
19:43They were dead against it.
19:44You know how me dad feels about the Germans.
19:46Won't even accept a lift and I'll order his Volkswagen.
19:52What went wrong?
19:53What went right?
19:54I suppose it was all just a question of communication.
19:59No point of contact.
20:01Can't spend all your time in bed.
20:05You had nothing else in common.
20:07Difficult to say.
20:08She didn't speak English.
20:12And I certainly wasn't going to learn German.
20:18Perhaps a child would have helped.
20:22Or an interpreter.
20:25Poor Terry.
20:29I never thought I'd hear me saying that.
20:31I never thought I'd hear you saying that.
20:34I am human, Bob.
20:35I do have some compassion.
20:37Even for Terry?
20:39For any human being who's suffered.
20:41I suppose there's no chance of them...
20:44No, no, no. It's irre...
20:46It's definite.
20:48Such a risk marrying a foreigner.
20:51And they're so physical, the Germans.
20:54Yes. He said their relationship was very...
20:56physical.
20:58Oh, you've been into all that, have you?
21:00We touched on it, touched on it.
21:01He poured his heart out.
21:03Is he still terribly upset?
21:04I would think, looking at him, he's only just learnt to live with the pain.
21:07Oh, poor Terry.
21:09Ah, he's had precious little comfort coming home.
21:11Poor, poor boy.
21:13So I thought the best thing would be if he comes and stays with me.
21:16Certainly not.
21:18He needs comfort, a shoulder to lean on a helping hand.
21:22Well, he's not leaning on your shoulder into the smaller hours.
21:25The two of you, giggling in the dark, discussing physical things.
21:28And the good old days when you were both free.
21:31Where's all this human compassion gone?
21:33Oh, it hasn't gone.
21:34I'm just saying, I don't think the answer is him staying with you,
21:37going into the perils of marriage.
21:39I've got a much better idea.
21:41What?
21:42He can stay at my place.
21:43He can't stay there.
21:44That's the perfect answer.
21:46I mean, in these situations, a man needs a woman's sympathy.
21:49Your parents are away.
21:50Well, there'd be plenty of room.
21:52You'd never let me stay there when your parents have been away, never.
21:55I'm always having to make dawn departures.
22:02I'm always losing sleep and risking the breathalyser.
22:06You can't stay because of our situation, because of the neighbours.
22:11Bit different for Terry. I mean, he'd be a guest, not a lover.
22:13He'd be more than a guest given half the chance.
22:16Well, I'm not going to give him half the chance.
22:18I'm not saying you would. I'm not saying you would, pet lamb.
22:21But you know what he's like?
22:23On a Friday night, after he's had a skinful,
22:25he can't take no for an answer.
22:27He gets the red mist.
22:31I can handle Terry.
22:33That's what he'll be hoping.
22:35It won't make any difference to him.
22:37It won't make any difference to him that you and I are engaged.
22:38That won't stop him chanting his arm.
22:40That won't stop him laying siege at your bedroom door.
22:43I'm making an effort to understand and know Terry.
22:46I mean, that was what you wanted, wasn't it?
22:47I mean, you were in here this morning telling me I was unreasonable
22:50because I wouldn't do that.
22:52Well, I mean, now I'm making the gesture.
22:54To be a friend to your friend.
22:55I want you to be a friend to my friend.
22:58I just don't want my friend getting too friendly.
23:02Well, I'm glad we're going to all be friends together.
23:04I can't say I'm not touched, Bob, by Thelma's offer.
23:07I can't say I'm not surprised either.
23:09Well, you know what women are like.
23:11As soon as they sniff a bit of personal tragedy coming up,
23:14they want to mother you.
23:16Well, I must say I don't mind being mothered by Thelma for a few days.
23:18Could open up a whole new chapter in our relationship.
23:20Yeah, that's what I thought, so I put my foot down.
23:22You put your foot down?
23:25Don't you want me to be a friend of Thelma's?
23:27Of course I want you to be a friend of Thelma's.
23:30Oh, I can't have you stay in there, man.
23:33You don't trust me, do you?
23:36I am your best mate and you don't trust me.
23:39Of course I trust you.
23:41You think I'm going to be trying it on, don't you?
23:43In the middle of the night, you think I'll be...
23:45Laying siege.
23:47Laying siege. You don't go to the door.
23:49No, I don't. My good God, if I can't trust me best friend,
23:50who can I trust?
23:52It's the neighbour's man.
23:54I mean, what would they think?
23:56I mean, it's alright me staying there.
23:59I always stay there when a mother's away.
24:02But not a stranger.
24:04I mean, they're very small-minded, you know.
24:06Aye, well, still it's a pity though.
24:08It's a nice little house, Thelma's.
24:09I suppose I'll just have to make do with me own cold, empty freezing house.
24:15No food and no hot water bottle.
24:20And I don't want to land myself on relatives,
24:22because if this should turn out to be another dose of malaria,
24:25it's hardly true.
24:27Still, I can see your reasons for not wanting me to stay in the warmth and comfort of Thelma's home.
24:32And I can see why you didn't tell me all this until after that you put all these bookshelves up.
24:39Where are you going?
24:41Well, I thought I'd wander down to the bus terminal cafe.
24:45Got a cup of oxo.
24:47Stand next to the tea urn, I might get a bit of warmth.
24:50Hey, I've got it.
24:53Of course you can stay here.
24:55Here?
24:57Well, it's the obvious place, isn't it, man?
24:59It's centrally heated, there's tea in the kitchen, there's a wireless.
25:02And there's a bed.
25:04Where?
25:06Give us a hand with this.
25:08Get the other end.
25:12I often stay here, you know, trying to get this place together.
25:15I often come round here at night time, you know, and do a bit of decorating, you know, and sometimes Thelma comes round and gives me a hand.
25:29Oh, I see.
25:31A bit of premarital decorating goes on, is it?
25:35Well, I mean, I can't at her place.
25:37I mean...
25:39I know, I know, the neighbours.
25:41Well, seems very comfy, I will say that.
25:45It'll be our spare bed.
25:47Go on, say you'll stay.
25:48I can't see you limping off into the night.
25:51You do look knackered.
25:54All right, Bob, you're on.
25:56Good lad.
25:57I'll get you some blankets.
25:58Champion.
26:04Right, now, I'll come round first thing in the morning and I'll bring you some eggs and a paper.
26:08That's very good of you, mate.
26:10The least I could do.
26:13Hey, Bob.
26:14Yeah?
26:15You didn't trust me with Thelma, did you?
26:18No, I bloody didn't.
26:19Bob?
26:20Oh, darling, you've finished the shelves. Don't they look lovely?
26:27You must have worked so hard.
26:29And all I do is bitch on and be unreasonable. Sorry.
26:30I'll stay if you like. Do you want me to?
26:31You do, don't you?
26:32Don't you?
26:33Don't you?
26:34Don't you?
26:35Don't you?
26:36Don't you?
26:37Don't you?
26:38Don't you?
26:39Don't you?
26:40Don't you?
26:41Don't you?
26:42Don't you?
26:43Don't you?
26:44Don't you?
26:45Don't you?
26:46Don't worry. I'll stay if you like. Do you want me to?
26:50You do, don't you?
26:53Don't you want me to stay? You do want me to stay, do you?
26:58Well, do you want me to stay or don't you?
27:01It's all right, I'll stay.
27:07Do you know, pet, I'm not sure about that seaweed green, though.
27:16Don't wake up.
27:21God bless.
27:23Ben!
27:45Darling, are you awake?
27:50Are you awake?
28:02This little piggy went to my house.
28:09This little piggy...
28:21Bob?
28:26Bob?
28:28Yes?
28:30Yes?
28:32Bob?
28:33What are you doing here?
28:34What are you doing there?
28:35Hello, Selma. What are you doing here?
28:40It's a conspiracy!
28:42You fiends!
28:43I'm going to have a nervous break time!
28:45You'd stop at nothing, would you?
28:47What have I done?
28:48I've been out like a light since half past ten.
28:51I didn't know anything until three little piggies were galloping up my spine.
28:56You genius!
28:59I told you to watch that hatch.
29:02Oh, what happened to you?
29:04Whatever happened to me?
29:08What became of the people we used to be?
29:14Oh, what happened to you?
29:19Whatever happened to me?
29:21What became of the people we used to be?
29:28To me
29:29Oh, what happened to you
29:33Whatever happened to me
29:36But what became a love
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