00:00When a woman tries expressing herself to a man or communicating with him, if he gets defensive,
00:05the message that he's really sending is you can't lean on me. You cannot come to me. You cannot
00:10trust me. You cannot depend on me. Because when men get defensive, they take a woman's expression
00:15or her ability to communicate as a threat because they have a wounded ego. What he's telling you
00:20without actually telling you is I'm not a safe space. I am not trustworthy. You can't come
00:25venting to me. I'm too busy protecting myself. So I'm not going to protect you. What this does is it
00:31creates a disconnect from the man to the woman. And inevitably, as a result, she's going to feel
00:36unseen. She's not going to feel heard. She's not going to feel acknowledged. She's not going to
00:41feel like she matters. And at some point, somewhere down the line, you will start to feel her resentment
00:46and her lack of gratitude. Now, I totally understand that there are women who are argumentative and
00:50hostile by default. They're out here being combative for no absolute reason. But there are also women
00:55who are simply trying to express themselves to you. And they're just trying to communicate.
01:00They just want to see if you're a safe space for them to come to. And if you get defensive,
01:04what that really points to is the triggers that you haven't healed. When a man feels safe with
01:09himself and he is secure in his manhood, a woman's complaints and her venting is no longer going to
01:14come off as a threat. They're no longer going to come off as annoying because he's tapped into his
01:20healthy masculine. Instead, he's going to see them as a valuable signal for something that she needs.
01:25She's not looking for you to dissect everything analytically. Neither is she looking for you to
01:29offer up a logical explanation right away. In that moment, what she's looking for is a safe space for
01:34her emotions to see if you truly care about her or not. As a man, your strength should be in service
01:39to connection, not in service to your wounds.
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