You can’t validate her emotions if you’ve never validated your own.

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Men — this one’s for you. If you’ve ever wondered why it’s hard to connect emotionally with your wife, it’s because you were never taught to connect with yourself first.  Learn how to stop invalidating your emotions and become emotionally aware — the foundation of real strength and connection.  Subscribe for more lessons on self-growth, emotional intelligence, and relationship healing.  #MensHealing #EmotionalAwareness #RelationshipGrowth #PersonalDevelopment #EmotionalIntelligence  ©️ All rights and credit reserved to the respective owner(s).

Transcript

00:00So why do you struggle to validate your wife's emotions, possibly refuse to, just won't do it?

00:05It's because you invalidate the shit out of your own. This will be a fun video. There's a couple

00:11layers here, so let's break them down. Society has told you your entire life that your emotions

00:15don't matter. Shut them down, don't want to see you cry, don't want to see you sweat, keep moving,

00:19keep pushing, power through, right? You've felt it before, you've heard it before explicitly,

00:24sometimes implicitly, but that's the messaging that we get, right? Now, if you think about

00:29what you now do when you feel something, if you feel fear, if you feel overwhelmed, if you feel

00:34stress, if you feel anxiety, whatever it might be, don't be a bitch. Don't be a pussy. No, no, no,

00:39I don't feel that. That's not for me because I'm a dude and I'm strong, right? You do that to

00:44yourself. You invalidate the shit out of yourself. And in relationships, we often can't give to others

00:52what we don't know how to give to ourselves. We don't know how to show up for others in ways that

00:56we don't know how to show up for ourselves because we don't have the skillset. We haven't

01:01practiced the thing. So if you have spent your entire life just shoving stuff down, acting like

01:06it wasn't a big deal, acting like it wasn't there, gaslighting yourself into thinking that

01:11everything's fine, even though inside you're crumbling, of course you're going to gaslight

01:15your wife. Of course you're going to make it seem like not a big deal and dismiss and deflect and do

01:22all of that stuff because that's what you do to yourself. So if you care about her and you love

01:28her and you're like, I wish I could, I could emotionally connect. I wish I could have space

01:32for her. I wish I could support her in the way that she's looking for because you're a genuinely good

01:36dude. You need to stop invalidating your own feelings. If you feel something, allow it to be there.

01:44If you feel stress, okay, you're human. I felt it. You certainly felt it. Okay. If you feel

01:50overwhelmed, if you feel fear, those are valid. Even if the moment right now doesn't feel like

01:57you have the space to feel it, let's not reject it immediately. Maybe just pause, do what you need

02:01to do, then come back at a time where you can breathe and sit with and journal and articulate

02:07how you've been feeling. But if you continue to act like you don't feel things because you're a dude

02:13and continue to invalidate yourself, you will always make sure that she understands her emotions

02:20don't matter because that's all you've done to yourself your entire life.

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