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00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do
00:34Pa-pa-pa
00:44Enter?
00:52Enter.
00:55Did you say enter?
00:56Did you ever think of getting a hearing aid to Sydney?
00:59Oh, never mind. I brought the stock room key back.
01:03Thank you. Don't forget it's the school concert this week.
01:06Pardon?
01:07The school concert.
01:09Oh, I'll get the hall ready. Good.
01:11I wonder what Mr Brown's class is going to do. Has he mentioned anything to you?
01:15Oh, not a dicky bird. No, no.
01:17As a matter, I don't think anyone want to do anything.
01:20That's nonsense. Every class is expected to put on some sort of show.
01:23Better tell Mr Brown to come and see me at tea break. Pardon?
01:26Tea break. Oh, is it?
01:28Oh, I can do with it, Papa. See you later.
01:31Right, now, pay attention, everyone.
01:33As you may recall, when last we met, I gave you each, for your homework,
01:37a different task to do over the weekend.
01:39Hope you've all done them, yes?
01:41Good. Well, I want you each in turn to stand up
01:44and give me a report on your various activities, all right?
01:47Now, who'd like to begin?
01:49We'll start at the back, shall we, with you, Jamila.
01:52Your homework was a visit to the cinema.
01:55Would you like to tell us about the film you saw?
01:57Huh.
01:58It was be about most beautiful top-class Indian girl
02:03who is fennel in love with boy from bottom class.
02:06Lower class?
02:07Huh.
02:08But girls' father is say no bigot married.
02:11So they run away.
02:13But father is catch them and chop off boys' leggies.
02:17Really?
02:18Later, father is be die.
02:22One day, girl is see beggar man in street.
02:26Oh!
02:27It is her sweetheart.
02:29Oh!
02:30She cry.
02:31No leggies, no matter.
02:32You be marry me.
02:34Okay, he say.
02:35I be go and be make myself look nice.
02:37What?
02:38With no leggies?
02:39Huh.
02:40So he go.
02:41Wait, she cry, and run after him.
02:43And then, ba-dang!
02:45Big motor car.
02:46Hit her and kill her.
02:48Oh.
02:49It was most miserable film.
02:52And I am enjoying it very much.
02:55Good.
02:56Well done, Jamila.
02:57Very good.
02:58Taro.
02:59Ah, sir.
03:00Your homework was a visit to London Zoo.
03:05Tell us about it.
03:07Arrive at London Zoo.
03:10London Zoo.
03:11No, no, Taro.
03:12No, London Zoo.
03:14Start again.
03:15Arrive at London Zoo.
03:19London Zoo.
03:21There are no O's.
03:23Oh, yes, please.
03:24There are two O's in London and two O's in Zoo.
03:29That is absolutely correct, Ali, but I am referring to the ends of the words.
03:33All right?
03:34Now carry on, Taro, but do try and get out of the habit of ending every other word in O.
03:38I try.
03:39Good.
03:40Went first to see Buffalo.
03:48Buffalo?
03:49What?
03:50Like a big boo.
03:52Oh, Buffalo.
03:55Taro.
03:56Confused.
03:58Words that end in O like Buffalo or radio or vertigo, you pronounce the O, but where there
04:04is no O, you don't add one.
04:05Understand?
04:07Yes, sir.
04:09I give up.
04:10All right, Taro.
04:12Right.
04:13Now, Ali.
04:14Yes, please.
04:15I asked you to read one of Shakespeare's plays.
04:17Were you able to do that?
04:18Most definitely.
04:19I'm reading about Sherlock.
04:21You mean Shylock?
04:23Yes, please.
04:24The merchant of Venice.
04:25Oh, good.
04:26Carry on.
04:28First of all, there is a lady porter.
04:31Now, her name was Portia.
04:32Now, her name was Portia.
04:33Yes, please.
04:34Now, a man called Bassanio is fancying this lady porter, uh, Portia, but he's broken.
04:41Broken what?
04:42Stoney broken and no money.
04:43Oh, you mean broke.
04:44Yes, carry on.
04:45So, he's going to see his friend, Antonio, and saying, oh, please be lending me 3,000
04:52buckets.
04:53Dockets.
04:54Sorry, please.
04:55But, Antonio was also broken.
04:56So, he's going to Shylock, the money-lending man, and asking him to lend him the money.
05:04Shylock is agreeing, but on one condition, if in three months' time he's not paying him
05:09back the money, then Shylock could cut off a pound of Antonio's fleshy.
05:14Why is he wanting a pound of human flesh?
05:17My bee is one of them cannonballs.
05:20Oh, no.
05:23He's doing this because he's not liking Antonio.
05:27Anyway, Antonio is in a bigger trouble.
05:30He wrecked all his chips.
05:32Ships.
05:33Ships.
05:35And he's not being able to pay back the money.
05:38Now Shylock is wanting his pound of flesh.
05:41But, Lady Portia is pretending to be a lawyer, man.
05:44And she's saying, agreement was for one pound of flesh and no dropies of blood.
05:49Shylock has had it.
05:51How can he have had it when he's not getting it?
05:56You damn fool.
05:58You are not understanding the Queen's English.
06:01I know the Queen is English.
06:04You think I'm stupid?
06:06Most definitely.
06:07Well, please sit down.
06:09Right.
06:10Thank you, Ali.
06:11Very well done.
06:12Right.
06:13Now, Sue Lee, your task was a visit to Petticoat Lane.
06:16Petticoat Lane?
06:17Fairly disappointing.
06:18Why was that?
06:19Not C1 Petticoat.
06:20Petticoat Lane is just the name of the place.
06:21Look, don't you find marketplaces interesting?
06:22Marketplaces full of capitalistic players selling in Philly merchandise to ignorant working
06:24classes and in freighted places.
06:25Chairman Mao, he always came...
06:26Never mind what Chairman Mao says.
06:27Thank you, Sue Lee.
06:28Well done.
06:29Right.
06:30Ranjit, your task was a visit to Highgate Cemetery.
06:32And I am finding it very interesting.
06:35Good.
06:36Well, tell us all about it.
06:37Firstly, I'm seeing the burying place of Karl Marx.
06:39Ah, yes.
06:40The father of Communism.
06:41But I'm not understanding which one he was.
06:55I'm sorry.
06:56I don't understand.
06:57Was he Chico Harper or the War II?
06:59He is not part of the party.
07:01Chico, Harpo, or Groucho?
07:06Karl Marx was not one of the Marx brothers.
07:10Karlsson, apologies.
07:12What else did you see?
07:13I'm seeing many beautiful gravestones.
07:17Gravestones?
07:18That is correct.
07:18And some of them have written on them beautiful words.
07:23I'm writing one down.
07:26You are gone, my dearest wife.
07:30Still, I feel no pain.
07:33For I know at heaven's gate we will meet again.
07:41What's the matter, Giovanni?
07:43I can't help it, Professor.
07:45He's so sad.
07:46That poor husband, he must have loved his wife very much.
07:50Please don't be upsetting yourself.
07:52The husband is being very happy.
07:54How do you know?
07:55He's dying the year after.
07:57Oh, thank goodness.
07:58I'm so happy for him.
08:01And they are both being football fans.
08:04Oh, how on earth do you know that?
08:05He's having put on his stone, united forever.
08:12The man, Ranjit, refers to him being reunited with his wife in heaven.
08:18Thousand other thousand apologies.
08:20Yes, well, thank you.
08:21Well done, good.
08:22Right, Giovanni, have you recovered sufficiently to tell us about your visit to Speaker's Corner?
08:27Okey-cokey.
08:30First, I take the tube to Heidi Park.
08:34Then, for an hour, nothing.
08:37What do you mean, nothing?
08:38Nobody was there.
08:39What, at ten o'clock on a Sunday morning?
08:42That's right.
08:43Well, that's strange.
08:43There's always people at Speaker's Corner every weekend.
08:46I ask her to policemen, why is there nobody here?
08:50And I find out why there is nobody there.
08:53Well, why was there nobody there?
08:54I was at the wrong corner.
08:55I, uh, carry on, Giovanni.
09:00Excuse me, Mr. Brown.
09:01Oh, yes, Miss Conley.
09:03What have you done about the concert?
09:04Pardon?
09:05Is everybody in this school going deaf?
09:08I want to know what you have done about the school concert.
09:10Concert?
09:11There has been a notice on the board for the past two weeks.
09:13You haven't read it.
09:14Um, well, I...
09:15Mr. Brown has read it.
09:17He was discussing it with us before you came in.
09:19Again.
09:20Yes, yes, I was.
09:22Good.
09:23Then what are you going to do?
09:25Well, I expect we'll all be there.
09:26I should jolly well hope you will all be there.
09:29But what I want to know is what your students' contribution will be.
09:34Contribution?
09:35Yes.
09:35What little party piece are they going to perform?
09:38Party piece?
09:39Well, I...
09:39Eh, pardon, signora.
09:41It's going to be a surprise.
09:44Yes.
09:45Yes, it's going to be a surprise.
09:47Well, I don't like surprises.
09:49I want to be quite sure that what they're going to do will be acceptable.
09:52So I suggest that after tea break, you and your class can give me a preview of their intended performance.
10:03Hey, we help you out pretty good, eh?
10:06Yes, but not for very long.
10:08Por favor.
10:09We still have to think of something to do for this concert in less than half an hour.
10:13Yes, all right.
10:15With your brain and our talent, no problem.
10:19To me, Sid.
10:41Pardon?
10:41To me.
10:42To me.
10:42No, over here.
10:44Not you, me.
10:45Oh, to you.
10:46Oh, make it.
10:47I know.
10:48Let me know it.
10:49I brought you a nice cup of tea, Mr Brown.
10:52Oh, thank you, Glenn.
10:53There.
10:55Here, what are they all going to do for the concert tonight?
10:57I started to think they're outside practising now.
10:59Oh, would you like me to do a bit?
11:02A bit of what?
11:03Well, singing.
11:03I was in the choir.
11:04Oh, Jerusalem, Jerusalem, lift up your voice and sing.
11:15Turn it up, Gladys, you curdle of milk.
11:18Oh, don't you be, Sir Chiefy.
11:21You like my voice, Mr Brown?
11:23I think it's remarkable.
11:25I can do your turn, if you like.
11:26What, you, Sid?
11:27Yeah, you, watch this.
11:30In the old dying, in the old dying, in the, in the old dying.
11:33He all looks sweet.
11:35Talk about a sweet.
11:36You all look duckling up into your feet.
11:38Dressed in style.
11:39Brand new tile.
11:39Father's old green tile.
11:41Wouldn't give you topless for your old watch sale, old dying.
11:44Old dying.
11:44Here, give it out.
11:46Give it out.
11:47How's that?
11:48Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
11:53Right, come on.
11:54Hurry him up for me, sir, will you?
11:56Oh, I love it.
11:56Get him in.
11:57All right, Mr Brown.
11:58All right, finish rehearsing.
11:59You're running inside.
12:01All right, come along, everybody.
12:03Good.
12:04What are you doing now?
12:05Yes.
12:06Ah, fine.
12:07Señor Brown, este el programa para el concierto.
12:11Oh, for the concert?
12:12Ah, good, yes.
12:13Good, good.
12:14Right, come along, everybody.
12:15Miss Courtley will be here any minute now.
12:16I'm here now, Mr Brown.
12:17Oh, good.
12:18Um, would you like to sit there, Miss Courtley?
12:21I do hope I am going to enjoy this.
12:23So do I.
12:24I wouldn't like to be embarrassed in front of our distinguished guests.
12:27No, no.
12:27What distinguished guests?
12:29Quite a few members of the Education Authority always come to see our concerts.
12:32I don't want a repetition of what happened last year.
12:35What happened?
12:36Mr Jarvis's woodwork students were quite awful.
12:39They sang bawdy rugby songs out of tune.
12:42Mr Jarvis still hasn't found another job.
12:45How comforting.
12:48Right, would you all come out here when I introduce you?
12:51I act as a kind of compare.
12:53Well, I shall stop you if there's anything I don't like.
12:55Right.
12:56Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
12:57Stop.
12:58Is something the matter?
12:59This concert takes place in the afternoon.
13:01Ah.
13:02Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
13:03I hope you're all sitting comfortably.
13:05Stop.
13:05Now, what was wrong with that?
13:07Mr Brown, by the time you and your class come on,
13:09the audience will have been sitting on those hard chairs for one and a half hours.
13:13I wouldn't mention anything about comfort if I were you.
13:16Ah, no, right.
13:18Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
13:20The English as a Foreign Language class is proud to present a potpourri of music and laughter.
13:25And to start us off, we have from Hungary, Zoltán Zabó.
13:35Good evening, everybody.
13:37Good afternoon.
13:38Ah, good afternoon.
13:42Hungarian magic.
13:44Hungarian paper.
13:45You don't want second Hungarian magic?
14:09I don't think I even want first Hungarian magic.
14:12What, Janet?
14:12Oh, well, never mind, Zoltán. That's very good. Sit down.
14:15Yes.
14:15Oh, right.
14:16And now from Italy, the irrepressible Giovanni Coupello.
14:22Grazie, grazie.
14:25For you, I'm going to do some impersonations.
14:29Okey-cokey, here we go.
14:34Hey, you want a nice piece of salami?
14:36I've got a lovely piece for you.
14:38And who is that supposed to be?
14:40That's my butcher, Antonio.
14:42We have never heard of your butcher.
14:48Maybe not, but if you had, it's very much like him.
14:52Don't you do any impressions of any well-known people?
14:55Sure I can.
14:57Jimmy Cagney.
14:58What?
14:59In a scene from the film,
15:01Disaster on the Fifth Avenue.
15:02You dirty rat!
15:15Oh, you dirty, dirty rat!
15:17Oh, you dirty rat!
15:19I was going to fix you!
15:21Oh, you dirty rat!
15:22I haven't finished yet!
15:24Well, Mr Cagney sounds remarkably like your butcher.
15:28Well known to you, honey.
15:30And now from France, the delightful Daniel.
15:34Well known to you.
15:41La-la-la-la...
15:43La-la-la...
15:44Oh.
15:45La-la-la-la-la...
15:47La-la-la-la...
15:48Oh.
15:49la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la off
15:57do you know any of the words Dania?
16:01I do not sing the words, I just dance to the music
16:04and what is all this off business?
16:07that is when I'm taking off my clothes
16:10we can't have that sort of thing going on
16:14it is not going on, it is coming off
16:17Not in my school.
16:20Yeah, well, thank you, Daniel. Well done. Jolly good.
16:23And now, from the mysterious East,
16:27we have to sing for you Taro Nagazumi.
16:36I sing for you a traditional Japanese song
16:40called Evorios Lamento.
16:47Are you kidding me?
17:02Me!
17:13Stop!
17:14why you'll tell me stop because it was awful oh I thought it had a certain style yes sickening
17:25sorry you'll not like who my son and now from Germany will you welcome with her animal impressions
17:40Anna Schmidt thank you I would like you to come with me on a walk in the black forest first we meet a
17:53farmer and his dog woof woof the dog is chasing the sheep bar bar and the cows moo moo here comes a man
18:06on his horse nay nay no no my nay nay you're supposed to make the actual sounds like I can't do that hurts
18:22my throat oh thank you for trying anyway right and now from China with something peculiarly Chinese will
18:32you welcome Miss Chung Su Lee chairman now he say in the conditions prevailing China today the
18:46contradictions among the people complies the conditions among the working class is the
18:49contradiction among the peasantry this is supposed to be a school concert not a party political
18:54broadcast can't you sing or anything I can sing some revolution right and now it's time for a
19:04little comedy from Alina dim and Ranjit Singh there's a little yellow idol to the north of
19:13Kadamundu I am saying I am saying I am saying I am saying I am saying I am saying neither of them can ride a bicycle
19:26please believe in the stage there is a little yellow idol to the north of Kadamundu I am saying I am saying I'm saying
19:36you are not liking us no oh what did you expect more common wise if you're wanting we can be doing
19:45more common wise I could be the fat short one with the hairy legs and I be being the one with the glasses
19:50so we'll discuss it later thank you very well very good very good right our next student to entertain
20:02you with a little culture is Jamila Ranja ladies and gentlemen I am tell you beautiful English
20:19poetries by Thomas Gray Elijah written in country churchyard elegy sorry master G the curfew
20:32talls the knell of par ting day ting day the loving herd wind slowly o'er the lee the fluffman homeward plod his
20:47very way and leaves the world to darkness and to me
20:55incredible I'll work on her pronunciation thank you Jamila and now from Spain to entertain you comes
21:09Juan Cervantes mr. Brown he tell you I am from Spain that surprise you when I speak I have no accent at all
21:22in Spain one times I was going to be the bullfighter so one Sunday afternoon I go to the bullfight and they put me in the ball ring
21:35the bull comes out I look at the bull and the bull he look at me the bull he look at me and I look at the bull and you know one thing the bull was better looking than me
21:56what if the fuck when I say hi for?
22:00what you know loud?
22:02the ca!
22:03so high I not become the bullfighter because high doubtate pretty balls
22:10haha power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power power in myøs
22:15round 2
22:16Do you have a sole my bed that the moment that I do a different goal
22:19oh
22:19i'm
22:23and finally to to complete our contribution Greece and Sweden
22:37combine Maximilian Papandrius and Ingrid Svensson
22:40okay and now my beautiful assistant and I are going to do some jiggling juggling okay
22:58you're ready up hi ready ham okay
23:02hey
23:03hey
23:04hey
23:08oh
23:10a whole meal is a little practice
23:25can't afford the plates
23:28well done sit down both of you
23:30well Mr. Brown I think
23:33I think we can write your class off
23:37oh please Miss Courtney the students will be so disappointed I mean we still have three days just give us a chance
23:44oh well very well but remember this Mr. Brown good jobs are hard to find
23:49thank you the Weight Watchers
24:02thank you the Weight Watchers
24:13oh not watching them myself
24:16now ladies and gentlemen for your entertainment here is Jeremy Brown and his United Nations
24:21thank you
24:29thank you
24:30thank you
24:32thank you
24:35thank you
24:39thank you
24:40you
24:41thank you
24:43I'm going to go.