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Francosoral
  • 5/29/2025

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00The End
00:30Oh, dear, Remy, I'm losing again.
00:57Good evening, no.
00:58Oh, hello, Sid.
00:59Hey, how you doing?
01:00Do what?
01:01How you doing?
01:02Oh, thank you very much.
01:03I'll have a pint.
01:04I said, how you doing?
01:05Not what you having.
01:07Do what?
01:08Never mind.
01:09Come on.
01:09Oh.
01:11Hello, Curly.
01:12What can I get you?
01:13How about excited?
01:15Oh, congratulations.
01:17You are the 500th person to say that tonight.
01:19You win our star award, a beer mat.
01:22Oh, thanks.
01:24And a pint for Sid.
01:25Thelma Ritter.
01:26Thelma Ritter, eh?
01:27I'm Giovanni Capello.
01:30Oh, that's not a name.
01:32Thelma Ritter means a pint of bitter.
01:34It's cockney rhyming slang.
01:36Oh, sure.
01:37I remember.
01:38Uh, 42 pence.
01:39And a packet of a salted peas nuts, please.
01:45Cheers.
01:45Thanks a lot.
01:46Hey, how's the Las Vegas kid doing, huh?
01:50Terrible.
01:53You never win nothing on this machine.
01:55I tell you, he's fixed.
01:57Oh, no.
01:57Lady behind bar telling me it is nearly time for somebody to be winning in the jack-in-the-putt.
02:02I try again.
02:08But this time, I'm not looking.
02:11See, I tell you, you're not winning nothing.
02:15Ah, yes.
02:16But I'm getting three bars, look.
02:18If I'm holding them, next time I'll be winning.
02:21You have already spent one pound.
02:23Yes, but if I'm getting another bar, I'll be collecting five pounds.
02:28Oh, dearie me, I'm not having any more ten-pies.
02:31Could you be changing this, please?
02:33Sorry, Ali.
02:33I spent all my change.
02:35Maxie.
02:36I ain't got any ten-pies.
02:37I'll be losing the jack-in-the-putt.
02:41Ah, professore.
02:43Good evening.
02:43Good evening, Mr Brown.
02:45Hey, you want to tell me Ritter?
02:47Pardon?
02:48Tell me Ritter, bitter.
02:50You've been talking to Sid, the caretaker, again.
02:52Good help.
02:53Sure.
02:53He's teaching me more of his cockeyed slanging rhyme.
02:58Cockney.
02:58Ah, squeezy.
02:59Max.
03:00Yes, Mr Brown.
03:00It's a point of interest.
03:01Do you happen to remember what a cockney is?
03:03Sure.
03:04He's someone who was born near the sound of bulls' bulls.
03:09Bells.
03:11Hockey.
03:12Ah, you want a drink?
03:13No, thanks.
03:13I just called for some cigarettes.
03:15Squeeze me, please, Mr Brown.
03:16Would you be having changes for a pound to be putting in the machine?
03:19Oh, you're wasting your money, Ali.
03:21Oh, no, I'm sure to be winning.
03:22I'm holding three bars.
03:24Oh, well, it's your money.
03:25Let's have a look.
03:26Good evening, everybody.
03:27Ah, that's good.
03:28Excuse me.
03:29Excuse me.
03:29Excuse me.
03:33Hey, what are you doing, you damn fool?
03:35I'm having a go on this machine, you pit.
03:42Hey!
03:43Hey!
03:46That is my winning.
03:48How can they be your winnings?
03:50I am putting the money for 10p in.
03:52Here is your 10p.
03:54Here is your dirty wisdom hands of my money.
03:56That is my money, you bearded vendetta.
03:58Quiet, the pair of you.
03:59Look, why don't you share the money?
04:01That's a good idea if there's five of us.
04:05That's one pound each.
04:06I meant between Ali and Ranjit.
04:08Then you've both won.
04:09You are as wise as a holy guru.
04:13Actually, it's time you're all back at school.
04:14It's your exams tomorrow.
04:15You should take every opportunity to study.
04:17I know.
04:19Okie-kokie.
04:20Weed up.
04:21I know.
04:22Come on, Ali, you too.
04:24Call it all.
04:27Waiter.
04:28Pardon?
04:30Gelatonic and a lager, please.
04:31I'm afraid you're making a mistake.
04:33Ridiculous.
04:34I know what I want.
04:36Gelatonic for me and a lager for my husband.
04:38He's just parking the car.
04:39Now, look, madam, you don't understand.
04:40I am a schoolteacher.
04:42Well, that's nothing to be ashamed of.
04:47I think it's quite commendable
04:48that you should supplement your income
04:50by working in a public house.
04:53Look, I'm not what you think I am.
04:54No, I'm not interested in your personal problems.
04:57I just want a gin and a tonic and a lager.
05:01Yes.
05:01Now.
05:02A gin and tonic and a lager.
05:05Hello, Mr Brown.
05:06Hello, Sid.
05:07How are you?
05:07Uh, I'll have a gold watch.
05:09Pardon?
05:11Scotch.
05:12I wasn't offering you a drink.
05:13Do what?
05:14Oh, never mind.
05:15Scotch, Sid.
05:1620 cigarettes for me and a gin and tonic and a lager
05:18for that lady over there.
05:20She thinks I'm a waiter.
05:21Are you sure of what?
05:22She thinks I'm a waiter.
05:24Oh.
05:25How long have you been doing it, then?
05:26What?
05:28Just waiting on luck.
05:29I don't wait.
05:30I'm not a waiter.
05:31Do what?
05:32Never mind.
05:33Um, £1.60, please.
05:35Yeah, well, actually, these two drinks are for that lady and gentleman over there.
05:37Yeah, they've still got to be paid for, haven't they?
05:39Yes, but you...
05:40All right, well, I'll pay for them and they can pay me later.
05:43Now, how much is it just for the gin and tonic and the lager?
05:45Uh, 72.
05:4772.
05:48All right.
05:48Cheers.
05:48Good help.
05:49Ah, good help.
05:56Here we are.
05:5772 pee, please.
05:58Didn't I see you take a drink of my lager?
06:00Yeah, but it was, uh, it was only a sip.
06:02Oh, yes, I suppose you were tasting it to make sure it was fit to drink.
06:05No, no, no, no, it was purely accidental.
06:07I have a good mind to report you to the brewery.
06:10Well, frankly, I couldn't care less what you do.
06:12Your attitude is typical of the working class mentality.
06:15It's people like you that are ruining the country.
06:17You're nothing but a peasant.
06:18And you, sir, are a bourgeois snob.
06:2072 pee, please.
06:22I refuse to pay for a drink that has been contaminated by your lips.
06:26Oh, I see.
06:27Well, all right, don't pay.
06:28You have it on me.
06:30There you go.
06:36Silence!
06:38This is disgraceful.
06:40Ten minutes past seven and Mr Brown has not arrived.
06:43Oh, but you're mistaken.
06:45He's here.
06:46Isn't he, Anna?
06:47Yeah.
06:48That's right.
06:48He's always early.
06:50Yes, please.
06:51Tonight he was here so early that he was here ten minutes before he arrived.
06:56He's just gone out.
06:58Oh, and where has he gone out to?
07:00Uh, toilet.
07:04I beg your pardon?
07:05Tea room.
07:07Would you like to try again?
07:09What they mean is, first he goes to the tea room, then the toilet.
07:13Yeah, that's right.
07:14Yeah, yeah.
07:15Oh, Miss Cockney, sorry I'm late.
07:17Oh, but you're not.
07:18Really?
07:19According to your students, you were here all the time.
07:21Ah, yes.
07:22Well.
07:23Well, where exactly were you?
07:25But we told you.
07:26I am asking Mr Brown.
07:28Well?
07:29Ah, yes.
07:30Yes, um...
07:31And what is going on?
07:41I don't know, but from their sign language, I think they're trying to say that I was having
07:43a cup of tea in the toilet.
07:46Actually, Miss Cockney, I'll tell you the truth, I am late, and the reason is this.
07:49I just popped across to the pub for some cigarettes, was mistaken for a waiter, bought
07:52two drinks for two people I'd never even met before, was called a peasant, and finished
07:55up by pouring a glass of lager over a gentleman's head.
07:58You're an even bigger liar than your students.
08:01I would have thought that you would have made an effort to be early this evening.
08:05After all, it is your last chance to teach them something before they take their exams
08:09tomorrow.
08:09Yes, Miss Cockney, you're quite right, as usual.
08:11Not that I think any of them have the remotest chance of passing.
08:16Oh!
08:18Right, come on, sit in your places, please, or...
08:20She thinks we're all stupid.
08:22Well, I think she's got a point.
08:23Er, por favor.
08:25Yes, one.
08:26Er, what do you think about this exam?
08:29You think we pass?
08:31Do I think you'll pass?
08:32Yes.
08:32One, for the past 13 weeks, you've all been coming here to study, right?
08:3513 weeks of hard work, diligence and application, 13 weeks of blood, toil and sweat.
08:40Slowly, little by little, you have improved.
08:42When you sit down to take your examination tomorrow, I have no doubts whether you'll pass
08:45or not.
08:46You haven't a cat in hell's chance.
08:49I have...
08:50I have...
08:50Oh, blimey.
08:51You're not giving us any confidence.
08:53Maybe some of you may manage to scrape through, but I shall be most surprised if you all pass.
08:57I shall pass to prove the paleolity of the Republic of China.
09:00No, no, no, no.
09:01Yes, well, we'll see about that.
09:02In the meantime, I want tonight to talk about the exam and afterwards, if you have any questions
09:06about any points you're not sure of, then just ask and I'll do my best to answer them.
09:09Excuse, please.
09:11Not yet, Taro.
09:12I want to talk about the exam first and then you can ask a question.
09:15Ah, so.
09:18Now, the first thing is, I shall not be taking you.
09:21Excuse, please, Masterji.
09:23Where will you not be taking us to?
09:26I mean that I shan't be here tomorrow when you take your exam.
09:29Oh, jolly good.
09:30We can be reading all the answers from our worst.
09:33There will be somebody here.
09:36Oh, dear.
09:37I am thinking I am going to be up at a gummy tree.
09:41In any case, you're not supposed to cheat.
09:43It's customary for another teacher from another school to take an examination of this kind.
09:48Excuse me, please.
09:50Later, Taro, please.
09:52Okay.
09:52Now, when you take your examination, the lower Cambridge certificate isn't too difficult.
09:58The exam is divided into three parts, right?
10:01First, there's an oral examination, then a written one, and then comes dictation.
10:05Is that his name?
10:08Is that whose name?
10:09The man who is going to be taking us to be doing the examination.
10:14Dictation.
10:17Dictation is when a person reads something out aloud and another person copies it down.
10:21Ah, like the short-fingered typist.
10:25Or hand type.
10:26Yes, please.
10:28Excuse me, please.
10:29You can ask your question in a moment, Taro.
10:32Right.
10:33Right, when you've completed your examination, the papers are taken away to be marked,
10:37and you'll be notified of the results by post.
10:39So, please make sure that you write your names clearly on your papers.
10:42Your Christian name and your surname.
10:44I cannot do that.
10:46Why not?
10:46I'm not a Christian.
10:47You want to be pedantic about it, Ranjit.
10:50Write your surname and forename.
10:52I'm not having forenames also.
10:54The prefix fore in this case is spelt F-O-R-E and means first.
11:01For example, forefinger.
11:04Un momentito, un momentito.
11:06Four finger, one tongue.
11:09No, uh, not four fingers.
11:13Si, si.
11:15A one, a two, a three, a four.
11:18This is my forefinger.
11:20No, that's only one finger.
11:25I wonder if I should cancel tomorrow.
11:27Por favor.
11:28Never mind.
11:29All right.
11:30Excuse, please.
11:32Yes, you can ask your question now, Taro.
11:34It requires permission to visit.
11:36Right, right.
11:38Oh, yes, of course.
11:46Right, has anybody else got a question?
11:48Yes.
11:49After tomorrow, will we see you again?
11:51Well, that depends on so many things,
11:53whether I'm engaged for another term
11:54or whether any of you decide,
11:56whatever the results of your exam,
11:57to come back for a further course.
11:59I will give you my address
12:01and you can come and see me any time.
12:04Quiet, quiet.
12:06Mr. Bryan, can you spare a moment, please?
12:09Certainly.
12:09I suggest you all study your verbs until I return.
12:15As you know, another teacher will be taking the exams tomorrow.
12:19Yes.
12:19Now, the gentleman who used to be the principal of this college
12:21will be supervising your class.
12:24He's in the office now
12:24and I thought it might be a good idea if you met him.
12:26Oh, I'd like to.
12:27Do try to make a good impression.
12:29It does no harm if he is favorably disposed towards you.
12:34This is our English teacher, Mr. Brown.
12:36Good evening, Mr. Capello.
12:39All ready for your examination.
12:41Sure.
12:42Everything's going to be okie-kokie.
12:44Buona sera, everybody.
13:07Hey, has anybody got a pen?
13:10Yeah.
13:11But please remember who he belongs to.
13:13Sure, I remember.
13:15Hey, Harry.
13:16What are you doing?
13:17I tell you, I've just been studying my verbs,
13:20so I'm going to write them down on my hands so I don't forget.
13:23Typical of Western dishonesty.
13:25No, I think it's a good idea.
13:27Hey, you want to write verb tenses too?
13:29No, I'm hockey on verbs, but no good on pronouns.
13:32So write the pronouns.
13:34No need.
13:35I already write them on handkerchief.
13:40Smart.
13:41It is wrong to cheat.
13:44Don't you agree, Ali?
13:45Not at all.
13:46I am also cheating.
13:47You also have got something written on your handkerchief?
13:51No.
13:51It is in my head.
13:54This is terrible.
13:55If you have found out, you'll be disqualified.
13:58Old Japanese philosopher, he say,
14:01men who deals from bottom usually end up on top.
14:06You as well?
14:08Tire, not good.
14:10I work, sir.
14:11So, have some written on chill.
14:15Sit.
14:18Ah, good evening, everyone.
14:20Oh, so I have been seeing you now, Cloudy.
14:21Oh, nice to see you all bright and early.
14:23I expect you're feeling a bit nervous, yes?
14:24I am not nervous.
14:26Oh, good.
14:27I am putrefied.
14:31Petrified.
14:33Yeah, well, do your best.
14:34Now, listen, I'm not supposed to be here,
14:35so I shall be in the pub, all right?
14:37Ah.
14:38But if you all call in when you've finished your exam,
14:40I'll buy you all an end-of-term drink, OK?
14:42Hey!
14:44Well, good luck, Taro.
14:47You must be nervous.
14:48It's the first time you haven't stood up and bowed.
14:51Good luck, one.
14:52Well, just a much better.
14:53Yeah, thank you.
14:54Good luck, Giovanni.
14:55Oh, thanks, Profissori.
14:58You're not too nervous to shake hands, are you?
14:59Ah, see, I'm very nervous.
15:01Oh, nonsense.
15:02Come on, there.
15:03That didn't hurt, did it?
15:05Not a lot.
15:08Sanjeet, that's funny.
15:09Where did that ink come from?
15:10Maybe your pen has got a leak.
15:13Have you seen your hand, Giovanni?
15:16There's nothing there, Profissori.
15:18Yeah, the other one.
15:20There's nothing there either.
15:21But there's something there, though, isn't there?
15:24Oh, no.
15:25Oh, my pen's got a leak as well.
15:27I suppose while it was leaking, it just happened to write a few verbs down.
15:33Sorry, Profissori.
15:34My verbs is a bit bad.
15:36Yeah, well, I suggest you clean all that off.
15:38I don't seem to have a handkerchief myself.
15:39Max has got a handkerchief.
15:43I can't have a handkerchief.
15:45What's that stinging out of your top pocket?
15:48Oh, that.
15:49That's not a proper handkerchief.
15:51Maybe Ali's got proper handkerchief.
15:54Let me see that handkerchief, Max.
16:00I see.
16:01Pronouns are your weak point.
16:03That's right.
16:04I'll keep this.
16:06What other little tricks have you all been up to, Ali?
16:08You're very quiet.
16:09Are you keeping something under your hat?
16:14Oh, blimey.
16:16How are you guessing that?
16:20I didn't.
16:21And while I think of it, Tarot,
16:23would you like to stand up, please?
16:29Very ingenious.
16:31All right, Juan, where's your...
16:33Where's your little crib hidden?
16:37Por favor.
16:38Never mind, por favor.
16:40I know it's somewhere.
16:41It's written all over your face.
16:42No.
16:44Not right in my face.
16:46This is no laughing matter.
16:49Come on, Juan.
16:49Where is it?
16:51Under the table.
16:52Franjeet?
16:53Thousand apologies.
17:06Daniel?
17:07Anna?
17:08Jamila?
17:10Sulee?
17:11We're not cheap.
17:12We've had a pass exam on all mallets.
17:14Well, I'm glad to hear it.
17:16Glad to hear it.
17:16Some last-minute coaching, Browne?
17:22No, no, no.
17:22I just came to wish them good luck.
17:24They're going to need more than luck.
17:25Goodbye, Mr. Browne.
17:26Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday.
17:28Goodbye, Mr. Browne.
17:30Goodbye.
17:31Good luck.
17:31Thank you, please.
17:34Now, I want absolute silence during this examination.
17:38Understand?
17:39Same again.
17:40Don't you think you've had enough?
17:41I suppose I've had enough.
17:43I'm still standing.
17:44Yeah, you've been to the loo twice.
17:45Well, that doesn't mean anything.
17:47Oh, yes, it does.
17:49Last time you went in the ladies.
17:51There, you're waiting there.
17:53Ha-ha!
17:55Oh, hello, Sid.
17:56Same again.
17:59I'll have a bit of please, Mavis,
18:00and whatever Sid's drinking.
18:01Sid tells me you're not married.
18:03That's right, I'm not.
18:04I'm not married as well.
18:06Oh, congratulations.
18:06I haven't even got a boyfriend.
18:10Really?
18:11How about you?
18:13No, I haven't got a boyfriend either.
18:15Not a regular one, anyway.
18:16Look, have a drink with me.
18:18All right?
18:18Here's a quid.
18:21Hey, Al, Sid.
18:22There's your pigs here.
18:23Pigs here?
18:24Here.
18:24You're learning, ain't ya?
18:26Good help.
18:27How's your little?
18:28She's still living.
18:31You don't mean that.
18:32Yeah, but...
18:33Do you know, when I was coaching,
18:34I used to worship the ground she walked on.
18:37Now I worship the ground that's coming to her.
18:41It's not a very nice thing to say.
18:43No, it's more sincere.
18:45You take my tip, son, you stay single.
18:48I've got no choice at the moment.
18:49I can't afford to get married.
18:50Still, I've got Josephine.
18:52Who's Josephine?
18:53Is that your bit of crumpet?
18:55No, my Siamese cat.
18:56Oh.
18:57Well, my students will be hard at it by now.
19:01Yeah, there is a lot of it about.
19:05I was talking about the exam.
19:07Oh.
19:08I'm going to miss them next term.
19:10Yeah.
19:11Well, cheer up, son.
19:12What do you want is another drink?
19:14What a good idea.
19:15Yeah, and this time I'll have a pint.
19:16Yeah, but...
19:17Penny for them.
19:34I was just wondering how my students were getting on with their exam.
19:37Oh, I expect they'll be all right.
19:38I hope so.
19:39I wonder what to do with myself now that term's over in the evenings.
19:43Yeah, it must get a bit lonely for you, living on your own.
19:45Oh, I don't live on my own, exactly.
19:47I've got Josephine.
19:48Oh.
19:49Yeah, she's a marvellous.
19:50I mean, I wonder...
19:51I wouldn't know what to do without her.
19:53She's very affectionate.
19:54Every morning she wakes me up by nibbling in my ear.
19:56Oh, that must be nice for you.
19:58I didn't allow her in the bedroom at first.
20:00No?
20:00Oh.
20:04She wasn't as clean as she might be.
20:07She used to sleep in the bathroom.
20:10Well, that sounds a bit uncomfortable.
20:12Oh, no, she was quite happy on the floor.
20:14She must think a lot of you to put up with that.
20:17Oh, she does.
20:17Every evening when I come home, she runs up to me and rubs her body against my leg.
20:22Are we not?
20:26She's Siamese.
20:27Oh, well, that explains it.
20:30Trouble is, like most Siamese, she's inclined to be a bit over-sexed.
20:33Yeah, she sounds it.
20:35I'm thinking of having her doctorate.
20:36Oh, I thought you were such a nice fellow.
20:41Pardon?
20:42Oh, never mind.
20:42Where's Sid?
20:43Oh, he's gone back to the school.
20:44Let us see if he can find his way back.
20:49Sid?
20:51Oh, yes, Miss Chutney?
20:53You reek of drink.
20:55Are you pardon?
20:56Drink.
20:57If you insist, I can double your sherry.
21:01You've had more than enough already.
21:04Oh, thank you.
21:08Oh, have you finished?
21:10Yes, please.
21:11How do you do?
21:12I'm very well.
21:12How do you do?
21:14I mean, how did you get on with your exams?
21:18Oh, but we hope we haven't let Mr Brown down.
21:22Miss Courtney.
21:23Would you care for a sherry before you go?
21:25Oh, I'd be delighted.
21:26I do sit down.
21:31Oh, it takes me back a row.
21:33Here in the old office.
21:35I expect you miss the hurly-burly of school life.
21:38Yes, I sleep nights now.
21:41There we are.
21:42Oh, thank you.
21:44You know, Miss Courtney, I didn't know that you indulged.
21:48Well, I don't really.
21:49Just the occasional sherry.
21:50Oh.
21:54Ready for another?
21:55Well, have you all got a drink?
21:59Yes.
22:00Well, I'd just like to say I wish you all every success.
22:03It's been great teaching you and, well, I shall miss you.
22:06Ah, so you have been giving us much wisdom.
22:10I am so sad.
22:12Oh, good.
22:14You are a wonderful teacher.
22:17Si, si.
22:18We never forget our English teachers.
22:20Yes.
22:21You are the nicest impeller as I've met.
22:27Tiang-se.
22:27Tiang-se.
22:28Profissori, it's been a real pleasure.
22:32Si, si.
22:33It won't be the same next time.
22:36Yes.
22:36We owe you big debt up there.
22:39Well, cheers.
22:41Cheers.
22:42Good health.
22:45Ah, well, I really must be going.
22:47I'm meeting my wife.
22:48Oh, just one moment before you go, Mr Short.
22:50How do you think the foreign students got on with their exams?
22:53Terrible.
22:54How do you think you got on with your exam?
22:56Fantastic.
22:58In answer to the question, what is a sentence, the chappy in a turban answered, a sentence
23:03is what you get when you're sent to prison.
23:07Your sentence are being very easy to answer.
23:11To the question, what is the past participle of I write, the Spanish fellow answered, I have
23:17rotten.
23:19I answer, everything okay.
23:22And the Chinese lady was writing backwards.
23:27Of course, I don't know how they answered their other questions, but if what I saw is
23:32anything to go by, then I shall be very surprised if any of them pass.
23:37Goodbye, Miss Courtney.
23:38Well, I'm very proud of you all.
23:40I knew you wouldn't let me down.
23:43Right, shall we have another drink?
23:44Yes.
23:45And whose round is it?
23:46Yours.
23:52What are you doing with my wife?
23:57Nothing.
23:58I was just...
23:58You stupid fool!
24:03I'm going to say, let me buy you both a drink.
24:05No, no, no, no, please.
24:06Please, please.
24:07Have this one on me.
24:09No, no, no, no, please.
24:14Oh, never changed it.