- 5 weeks ago
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00:00:27Back
00:00:30my beautiful sane daughter
00:00:34I literally never have to worry about you
00:00:36He's nice mum
00:00:37Yeah
00:00:38We'll call you the sane one now
00:00:39As you should
00:00:41Excuse me I just need to take this
00:00:43Oh, hello
00:00:46Mhm
00:00:47Okay, bye bye
00:00:49Is this around time?
00:00:52Apologies the government just needed to run some budget stuff past a very sane person
00:00:56God, I'm lucky to have someone so wildly sane as a client.
00:01:01Becky.
00:01:05I need you.
00:01:07What's that?
00:01:10I need you to help me.
00:01:13Hello?
00:01:14I need you to help me.
00:01:16Eddie?
00:01:18What's going on?
00:01:20Can I borrow your white noise machine?
00:01:21What?
00:01:22Please!
00:01:26Ryan?
00:01:28It's 4am!
00:01:30My room sounds like ghosts.
00:01:31Get out!
00:01:33For God's sake!
00:01:49So we built a mountain
00:01:51By digging out a mighty hole
00:01:54And thought I felt sweet
00:01:56Carried every rock and stone
00:02:00Without a hole's deep foot
00:02:03Than anybody ever planned
00:02:05For God's sake
00:02:06Your tips
00:02:07I'm hanging it all
00:02:10So we say to
00:02:11But I can't do this evil on my own
00:02:14I haven't wrapped the house in nearly 30,000
00:02:16Call the record
00:02:19Is this too early?
00:02:20Early?
00:02:20I'm up at 6am every day in case someone's died in the night
00:02:23Wow
00:02:24They do say mental illness is hereditary
00:02:26I barely slept anyway
00:02:28I hate that you're so far away
00:02:30Okay, I'm in Surrey
00:02:31Bad enough when you move back to your flat
00:02:33Look, I am fine, Mum
00:02:35I'm in my stable girl era
00:02:37I'm on medication that isn't trying to kill me
00:02:39I use retinol and HelloFresh
00:02:41I am a bridesmaid in a posh wedding
00:02:43For God's sake
00:02:43Has anyone heard from Eddie?
00:02:45She'd come in
00:02:46She's
00:02:48No, there's no way
00:02:49It's been a year
00:02:50She didn't even RSVP
00:02:51Which
00:02:52I'm not even thinking about that, Mum
00:02:53Just stop worrying, okay?
00:02:55I'm allowed to be worried, Maggie
00:02:56It is your first time leaving Townsend's lithium poisoning
00:03:02I said it's your first time leaving Townsend's lithium
00:03:04Look, I heard you, Mum
00:03:05Just
00:03:06I need to get going, okay?
00:03:07What on earth does this...
00:03:08This made of one I need you so early for
00:03:10I don't know
00:03:10Bridesmaid stuff
00:03:12Filming awkward TikToks
00:03:13And matching satin pyjamas
00:03:14And telling someone her skin looks clear
00:03:19I am a normal person
00:03:22Normal?
00:03:23Who wants to be normal?
00:03:24I do
00:03:25Well, if you get overwhelmed or feel bad in any way
00:03:28Just call me
00:03:28I won't, Mum
00:03:29This is going to be a nice, easy chill
00:03:31This is not one of your kooky, hackneyed town hall weddings
00:03:36Where the bride wears a jumpsuit
00:03:38And drinks lager from a can
00:03:40This is the home counties
00:03:42We take this seriously
00:03:44I have barely slept
00:03:46Mercury cried all night
00:03:48No, did he?
00:03:50Simone has had a complicated reaction to her premarital juice cleanse
00:03:56I will never forgive Heat Magazine for what it did to us
00:03:58So, to avoid my brother saying I do to a woman wearing an adult nappy
00:04:02I will be busy trying to plug the leak
00:04:05As it were
00:04:08Yes, those were Simone's choices
00:04:10I suppose she wanted her culture represented too
00:04:13Please wear them so as to differentiate yourselves from the staff
00:04:19Um, Flopsy, is it?
00:04:21Yeah
00:04:21Um, why, um, why does my sash say this?
00:04:27My reputation as a maid of honour
00:04:29A role I take extremely seriously
00:04:32Is immaculate
00:04:33I am in constant demand
00:04:35And this is my brother's wedding
00:04:36My favourite brother
00:04:37The only brother that isn't balding
00:04:39And as, from what I understand
00:04:41You have a bit of a reputation as somewhat of a loose cannon
00:04:45I think this would be a better fit
00:04:49Off you, Bob
00:04:51Now, I have written down your bridesmaid's tasks
00:04:55In extremely simple terms
00:04:58So, I am assuming there are no questions
00:05:01I left Simone lying face down in an antique chamber pot
00:05:05So I ought to...
00:05:06Uh, what does train the swans mean?
00:05:08Is assist Jessie Ware slowing for something?
00:05:10I have not heard a thing from the fourth bridesmaid
00:05:12Has anyone had contact with her?
00:05:14She's ignored all communications
00:05:18Uh, no, no
00:05:20She...
00:05:21She won't be coming
00:05:28And if I see anyone vaping
00:05:30They will be fined
00:05:36I cannot wait for my bridesmaid years to be over
00:05:40What was Aldi Pippa Middleton saying to her?
00:05:42Nothing
00:05:43I think it's grand
00:05:43Anyways, we only have to deal with her for one day
00:05:45Simone has done worse for us
00:05:46Like when she sucked off storms
00:05:48And his weird old roadies to get us back staying
00:05:49Oh, exactly
00:05:50Well, strapping fuckers
00:05:51Because things are about to get worse
00:05:52Worse than unpaid labour
00:05:53Do you remember Simone's ex?
00:05:54Jack
00:05:55Jack Pearl?
00:05:56The one who couldn't stop telling us
00:05:57Is he once played pool with Amy Winehouse
00:05:59Oh, he was awful
00:06:00He used to sniff out a guitar at a house
00:06:02Pitching like an indie bloodhound
00:06:04Yeah, well, he's threatened to turn up
00:06:05And ruin the wedding
00:06:06Oh, for fuck's sake
00:06:07Hot girls are meant to marry Rich
00:06:08Is that right?
00:06:09He wouldn't really turn up here
00:06:10So most of you seem to think he might
00:06:11He has previous
00:06:12After she got engaged
00:06:13She tried to break into her house
00:06:15Is it wild
00:06:16That we just let straight men run loose?
00:06:17Yeah
00:06:18So we need to keep an eye out
00:06:19For what?
00:06:20A trilby?
00:06:21The opening chords that can't stand me now?
00:06:23I've got hot start to wrangle
00:06:25Yeah, well, I've got this gargoyle's wax
00:06:29No one said the Spartan shit was easy
00:06:50No
00:06:52No
00:07:05Oh, my God. Sorry. I just, it suckered onto me and I could feel it's like monster tongue.
00:07:11There I was, thinking I'd given you the simplest tasks there were.
00:07:16I could do it. I just, once I get these gloves on, I will be de-leaching at speeds never
00:07:21seen before.
00:07:21See that you are.
00:07:23And, um, if I do everything on my list, which I will, um, could I have a normal bridesmaid?
00:07:34Perhaps.
00:07:39Oh, sorry.
00:07:50Oh, my God.
00:08:06I'm sure I see someone in the penance room, but when I look at that, it isn't enough to
00:08:09have.
00:08:12What happened to you?
00:08:13The swans have a very aggressive communication style.
00:08:16We're working through it.
00:08:17I'll take the swans over Jessie Ware any day.
00:08:19She is insane.
00:08:20I found her in the kitchen, necking, cooking sherry, and when I tried to grab her, she
00:08:24called me a slur.
00:08:25She calls you a little bitch.
00:08:26And I consider that a slur.
00:08:27What's with the meat?
00:08:28Huh?
00:08:29Oh, I was just, I'm feeding the altar boys.
00:08:31Listen.
00:08:32I have a weird feeling that someone is, like, here, watching us.
00:08:37Yes!
00:08:39I meant to be more like a pearl has entered the oyster, Jack Pearl, so we should split
00:08:47off.
00:08:47Just write from everybody else now, aren't we?
00:08:50No.
00:08:50No, don't worry.
00:08:51I put all the meat in the boys.
00:08:54I meant, um, I need you to put your bridesmaid's dresses on and meet me in the main hall as
00:08:58quickly as possible.
00:09:00If you can manage that.
00:09:02Yes.
00:09:06Off you go.
00:09:09God, who pissed on her, Arga?
00:09:10Just do what she says.
00:09:11I'll be gonna hunt for Jack Pearl later.
00:09:14If she's dressed as a sheer or something, I am going to shank Simone.
00:09:17I'll be bog standard.
00:09:18Pastel certain, babe.
00:09:19Don't worry.
00:09:21Don't worry.
00:09:22Don't worry.
00:09:24Brian!
00:09:25Your tabard is unacceptable.
00:09:26Okay.
00:09:27Well, um, first off, what the fuck is a tabard?
00:09:30So, we're actually wearing these World War I nurses' uniforms.
00:09:35Is that a problem?
00:09:36God, no.
00:09:37No.
00:09:37No, no, no.
00:09:38I love war.
00:09:39Yeah.
00:09:39It just seems like a weird tradition, even by the aristocracy standards.
00:09:44Sister Peggy Beale saved my grandfather's life of the Battle of Cambrai.
00:09:52Trampled by a horse, poor fellow crushed his skull to smithereens.
00:09:57Somehow, he pulled through, thanks to Sister Peggy, who tended to him day and night.
00:10:05Upon his return home, he did two things.
00:10:10First, he vowed to honour Sister Peggy at every family wedding from that day forth.
00:10:22And the second thing?
00:10:24He stabbed every horse in the stable to death.
00:10:26Oh.
00:10:28Wow.
00:10:29Wow.
00:10:30What an honour to represent the British Army in this way.
00:10:38I mean, I'm Irish, of course, but you can't help but respect the Empire.
00:10:44To ignore, like, 90% of the history and focus on things like the tea and the fun uniforms a
00:10:49lot.
00:11:09Good nurse!
00:11:11What would grandfather say about you?
00:11:14Okay, Uncle Albert, let's get you back to the rest of the family.
00:11:17We've actually been looking for you for hours.
00:11:24Eddie.
00:11:27Are you wearing a bindi?
00:11:29I had no idea you were coming.
00:11:30Yeah, it was kind of a last minute decision.
00:11:33Huh.
00:11:35Okay, um, hug me then, bitch.
00:11:42Oh, I had no idea.
00:11:44Why would you?
00:11:45Where the fuck have you been?
00:11:46California, mostly.
00:11:48Oh.
00:11:49So somewhere that definitely does have Wi-Fi then?
00:11:50Turns out there's more to life than social media.
00:11:58I'd love it if we could talk one-on-one.
00:12:02That's kind of why I came.
00:12:03Oh, I mean, yeah, yeah, of course.
00:12:06Right.
00:12:07Now that our fourth bridesmaid has finally arrived, Eddie, is it?
00:12:11I'm putting you in charge of making sure the chapel is ready to go.
00:12:15The rest of you back to your time.
00:12:16Oh, actually, obviously, I've done all mine.
00:12:20You've moistened the taxidermy?
00:12:22Yeah.
00:12:22You've cut the Nazis out of the portraits?
00:12:24Yeah, yeah.
00:12:24That one took a while, but, um, yeah.
00:12:26Oh.
00:12:28I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised.
00:12:31So.
00:12:33The sash.
00:12:34Oh, yes.
00:12:37This is for you.
00:12:39It's from Simone, hence the quality of the fabric.
00:12:42No, no, no, I'm...
00:12:43It's too close.
00:12:44Sorry, um...
00:12:47You said if I...
00:12:49If I finish all my tasks, I could have a normal...
00:12:52Sash.
00:12:53Oh.
00:12:55I'm not sure that's quite what I said.
00:12:58Why don't we see how you do during the ceremony?
00:13:00If we can avoid any big scenes, then we'll see...
00:13:03Flopsy, we need you.
00:13:04The flowers are pink.
00:13:06The flowers are what?!
00:13:07If that florist thinks she'll work in Surrey again, she has another thing coming.
00:13:11First the ribbon debacle, and now this.
00:13:13I...
00:13:13I...
00:13:14Next room's in.
00:13:21So, could you show me to this chapel?
00:13:39It's nice.
00:13:42Well, it's haunted.
00:13:45But, like, according to Ryan...
00:13:47Ryan makes the Dolphin McDonald's as haunted.
00:13:54So...
00:13:55How have you been?
00:13:58I'm sorry, I haven't reached out.
00:14:01I needed...
00:14:02Time...
00:14:02To think...
00:14:04About...
00:14:05Everything, but...
00:14:07Also about us.
00:14:12Look, this might be hard to hear, but...
00:14:16Look.
00:14:17Shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:14:19Look.
00:14:21I'll explain later.
00:14:22Right now.
00:14:24We need to attack the man that's behind those flowers.
00:14:40I have a weapon!
00:14:41Oh, God.
00:14:42Not Jack Pearl.
00:14:44That's plastic, by the way.
00:14:46I am here to object to this wedding like it's Shrek.
00:14:49Oh, you are not the Shrek.
00:14:50You are the...
00:14:51Fuck what?
00:14:52Are you seriously going to ruin Simone's wedding?
00:14:54Just because she wants me the poor choice to go out with you?
00:14:56Go out with me.
00:14:58We're married!
00:15:00Yeah.
00:15:01Didn't know that part, did ya?
00:15:02Got married in Vegas.
00:15:03Simone thought it didn't count because she was wearing a bikini at the time, but it did!
00:15:07Shh!
00:15:07So I'm here as a lawfully wedding husband to stand up against bigamy!
00:15:12Ow!
00:15:12Get off!
00:15:13Don't touch me!
00:15:14I've got the law on myself!
00:15:15Have you always been nuns, you two?
00:15:17Shut up!
00:15:18Could you not have just sent her a text?
00:15:20She blocked me.
00:15:21Can you believe that?
00:15:23Like, we was partners.
00:15:24Yeah?
00:15:25And now, it's like, we're strangers.
00:15:28You know?
00:15:29I know.
00:15:31It's hard to be the one that's still in love.
00:15:36Yuck.
00:15:36I don't love her.
00:15:37I just want a hundred grand to stay quiet.
00:15:39Oh, you are such a fucking...
00:15:40Fuckwars!
00:15:42What was that?
00:15:43Swanwick!
00:15:44Guys, kick off us into any.
00:15:45We need to get them out of here.
00:15:46Anya, I assume you brought the birds.
00:15:48They've accepted me as their leader.
00:15:50Good.
00:15:51I think they might be able to help.
00:15:55You can't do this to me!
00:15:57My cousin knows Rob Winder!
00:15:59Now what?
00:16:00We can't leave him up there on his own.
00:16:01Help!
00:16:02Help me!
00:16:03I've been kidnapped by witches!
00:16:12Oh God.
00:16:13Flopsy's asking where we are.
00:16:15Um, just in the attic, babe.
00:16:17No!
00:16:18Why would you tell her that?
00:16:19Do you not say that?
00:16:20No, I did.
00:16:20My thumbs have millennial smartphone muscle memory.
00:16:23Oh God.
00:16:24She can hear them only.
00:16:25Okay, okay.
00:16:25Just let me think.
00:16:27She's coming up here.
00:16:27Oh, she can't.
00:16:28Stop her.
00:16:28Oh my God, how?
00:16:31There's no baby.
00:16:32Hang on.
00:16:32I can try a book.
00:16:33Oh my God.
00:16:34It's me.
00:16:37The noises.
00:16:38Tell her I've had like an episode.
00:16:39No.
00:16:40That way I can stay up here with Jack so we can't escape.
00:16:42The rest of you can go be bridesmaids.
00:16:43No, Megs.
00:16:44If someone needs to stay, I'll do it.
00:16:45A straight wedding is a boring as fuck anyway.
00:16:47No.
00:16:47It has to be me.
00:16:49Flopsy won't believe it's anyone else.
00:16:50It's her only choice.
00:16:51Just go!
00:16:52No.
00:16:55The bells?
00:16:56The bells.
00:17:00Oh, my God.
00:17:47You're too small to subdue him.
00:17:50I've not read any complaints.
00:18:05So, do you want to have that talk?
00:18:10Not now.
00:18:12Let's just watch the wedding.
00:18:13Let's do it.
00:18:53Oh, my God.
00:18:53Maggie, are you feeling better?
00:18:55Yeah.
00:18:55All good, thank you.
00:19:01Done?
00:19:02Yep.
00:19:03One's got him trussed up in another service loom.
00:19:05I'm not sure what he's going to do with him exactly.
00:19:07No, he'll be fine.
00:19:08He's done this sort of thing before.
00:19:17Fuck Flopsy, man.
00:19:18She's got a rabbit's name.
00:19:20I can't believe we missed the food.
00:19:21I am starving.
00:19:22Will we go pillage a pantry?
00:19:24We've always wanted to see a pantry.
00:19:26Well, then, we must.
00:19:30Hurry up.
00:19:31Before the servants leave all the leftovers.
00:19:32We are the servants.
00:19:36Not to brag, but I will find a kitchen using only my nose.
00:19:39Yeah, I believe it.
00:19:40Eddie?
00:19:42Finally!
00:19:45Oh, I'm sorry.
00:19:47I'm so late.
00:19:47I got lost finding our new apartment.
00:19:49I ended up somewhere called Tottingham, and this guy with no teeth, he tried to sell me
00:19:54a horse.
00:20:00Oh, I'm sorry.
00:20:01This is my friend.
00:20:02Hi, I'm Whitney.
00:20:04You must be Maggie.
00:20:08I must be, yeah.
00:20:10God, I bet I look a mess.
00:20:12I literally grabbed whatever was at the top of my suitcase and ran.
00:20:16No, no, no.
00:20:17You look stunning.
00:20:19Oh, thank you.
00:20:26Drinkies?
00:20:27Let's do it.
00:20:31Well, yeah.
00:20:33Yeah.
00:20:34Why aren't you dressed like Florence Nightingale?
00:20:37I could be a millionaire.
00:20:39If I had the money, I could only imagine.
00:20:43So, has it been awful?
00:20:46No, not awful.
00:20:50Did you tell her?
00:20:52I was going to, but then there was this whole mad drama.
00:20:56It's okay.
00:20:57It's okay.
00:20:58I'm here now.
00:21:00I'm going to help.
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:03And you'll feel so much better once you sit her down and say,
00:21:07I'm sorry, but I cannot have you in my life anymore.
00:21:12I'm going to do it.
00:21:15Soon.
00:21:21Just not tonight.
00:21:23I'm going to do it.
00:21:28I'm going to do it.
00:21:28Cheer up, little boy! Today is a wonderful day!
00:21:39Mercury? Do we need another tetanus jab?
00:21:47Would anyone like a ginseng gummy?
00:21:52It'll really help regulate your energy levels.
00:21:54No.
00:21:57I've also got echinacea, milk thistle, ginger chews.
00:22:04Yeah, or I've got expired femme fresh wipes.
00:22:10No? Fine.
00:22:13I'm gonna go and chew.
00:22:17For a black hat.
00:22:28Hey, if you're worried about vaginal odour, I can send you a link to an amethyst suppository my friend Wave
00:22:36sells. I mean, it'll really help.
00:22:38So it's amethyst suppository?
00:22:40So like a stone tampon.
00:22:47Sorry, it does sound a bit medieval.
00:22:52Yeah.
00:22:54Yeah, I guess it does.
00:22:58But it has helped a lot of women.
00:23:01I actually did a series of videos on the Vagina Earth Connection.
00:23:05Oh, okay, you're a filmmaker.
00:23:07No.
00:23:08No, God.
00:23:09No, I don't even own a television.
00:23:11No.
00:23:11I'm a light worker.
00:23:13But I primarily produce content for social media.
00:23:16I just found that that's the best way to reach people and connect with souls all around the world.
00:23:21Is that Eddie fucking Rushton?
00:23:24Oh, my God, Tony!
00:23:28A non-progression wieners.
00:23:29Oh, my God, buy one, get one.
00:23:32Where the piss have you two been?
00:23:34I've been haggless at Superstore for months.
00:23:36Hi.
00:23:37I'm Whitney.
00:23:38Congratulations.
00:23:39Sorry, Whitney.
00:23:40This is Tony.
00:23:40Tony and Guy, drag queen to both the stars and the gutter.
00:23:45How are you, babe?
00:23:47I heard you got mercury poisoning.
00:23:48Did you eat too much tuna?
00:23:50No, not mercury.
00:23:50Lithium poisoning.
00:23:52You ate batteries?
00:23:53What have you been up to?
00:23:54Down the drag mines, as ever.
00:23:56I actually had this last-minute gig come in for tonight.
00:23:58I'd usually tell them to fuck off.
00:24:00You don't say no to Barbie and Skipper, do you?
00:24:02Wait, wait, wait.
00:24:03What did you just say?
00:24:04Barbie and Skipper?
00:24:05Oh, my God.
00:24:07Can I have a secret show at PEG?
00:24:09It's gonna be epic.
00:24:11Barbie and Skipper?
00:24:12Like, the dolls?
00:24:13They're drag queens, but, like, so much more.
00:24:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:24:15They've got a podcast of books and YouTube series that we used to watch on repeat.
00:24:18Oh, no, I still do.
00:24:18I still do.
00:24:19We always said if they ever came to London, but they never have.
00:24:21Oh, no, we're gonna have.
00:24:21The Skipper hates the accent.
00:24:23Oh, my God.
00:24:23He's gonna stick us.
00:24:24Please.
00:24:24We've wanted to stick us for a year.
00:24:25Please.
00:24:26Babe, do you have any idea how many fit men I have in my DMs right now asking me the
00:24:30same
00:24:30thing?
00:24:31No offence, but I'm not gonna pick the straight girls.
00:24:33That's straight-ish.
00:24:34Come on, Tony.
00:24:34We'll do anything.
00:24:35I never made you settle your wet mouth tab.
00:24:37Hmm.
00:24:40Okay, look, I need this wig my friend Cher's been styling for me, but she's being a bitch
00:24:44and refusing to give me it.
00:24:45We can get your wig.
00:24:46We can?
00:24:51Oh, God.
00:24:52Sorry.
00:24:52I just totally disrupted your flow.
00:24:56God, what a loser.
00:24:57Oh, I'm sorry.
00:24:59We're, um...
00:25:00We're being a bit...
00:25:01It's just...
00:25:01This is kind of a dream of mine.
00:25:04An old dream, but...
00:25:06But we have to honor our old dreams to make space renew once.
00:25:10That's beautiful, though.
00:25:12I know we had other plans today, and I was gonna start looking for a job.
00:25:14No.
00:25:15Listen, the only plan that matters is the universe's.
00:25:20Said that's the address.
00:25:21Open!
00:25:22All right.
00:25:23Watch out, though.
00:25:24Cher can be...
00:25:25How you say...
00:25:27A cunt.
00:25:29I'll need it by eight.
00:25:30If you're not there, I'll fish you down.
00:25:33Good luck with ours.
00:25:34You'll have to uncreemate them first.
00:25:37Oh, is...
00:25:37Is...
00:25:37Is your dad...
00:25:38Yeah.
00:25:39Yeah.
00:25:40Yeah.
00:25:40He passed when I was 12.
00:25:43That's actually how we...
00:25:44First connected.
00:25:47Oh, that's so...
00:25:49Lovely.
00:25:52Are you sure we can't just get the tube?
00:25:53This place is in, like, zone 10.
00:25:55I didn't even know it existed.
00:25:56Uber, then.
00:25:57You said it would be 80 quid.
00:25:57That's mad.
00:25:58We'll keep the spare car key in this stupid key safe.
00:26:00Yes.
00:26:01We don't even need to knock on the door.
00:26:02Well, you don't want to give him a heads up.
00:26:04It's just in case he thinks it's been stolen.
00:26:06Like, stolen by a stranger rather than a close friend.
00:26:09He won't care.
00:26:10Oh.
00:26:20So...
00:26:21You are a light worker.
00:26:23I am.
00:26:25Which is what? Sorry.
00:26:26Oh, yeah.
00:26:28It basically means that I have been put on this earth to spread light and eradicate darkness.
00:26:34Oh, well.
00:26:34Okay.
00:26:34Yeah.
00:26:36Like Batman.
00:26:37No.
00:26:38No.
00:26:38He's changed the code.
00:26:40Shit.
00:26:40I thought this was a slam dunk.
00:26:42Okay.
00:26:42Well, this is how Patrick Swayze does it in Dirty Dancing.
00:26:45So we're just gonna...
00:26:47So here.
00:26:48Yes.
00:26:48Right.
00:26:49Okay.
00:26:50Oh.
00:26:52I'm okay.
00:26:53It's just...
00:26:53Oh.
00:26:54Oh.
00:26:55Okay.
00:26:57Alright.
00:26:58Oh.
00:26:59Um, just like shield your eyes and I'll...
00:27:02What are you doing?
00:27:03Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:27:04Hey, violence is never the answer, Maggie.
00:27:06No.
00:27:06It's not violence if it's against a car, is it?
00:27:08It's just like...
00:27:10Oh!
00:27:10I didn't even smash anything!
00:27:12Excuse me.
00:27:13I'm afraid I have a...
00:27:19We're laughing if that could stop!
00:27:21Oh.
00:27:22Sorry.
00:27:24Oh.
00:27:26You're...
00:27:27You're back?
00:27:28Only just.
00:27:29Yesterday, actually.
00:27:30I've been emailing you for a year.
00:27:32No.
00:27:32I'm off-grid.
00:27:33Out of the matrix.
00:27:34We...
00:27:35You don't have a phone?
00:27:36No.
00:27:37Oh.
00:27:37It's very, um...
00:27:39Amish chic of you.
00:27:41It's not Amish to disengage from something that's literally killing people.
00:27:44Phones are killing people.
00:27:45They're worse for you than smoking.
00:27:47Hi.
00:27:48I'm Whitney.
00:27:50And you...
00:27:51Must be Will.
00:27:53Sorry, just back to the phone thing again.
00:27:55You have a phone.
00:27:57To serve my higher purpose of spreading light via social media.
00:28:00Otherwise, you know, I would throw this thing into the ocean.
00:28:03Trust me.
00:28:05Sorry.
00:28:06Were you breaking into my car?
00:28:08Can we borrow it?
00:28:09Just for the afternoon?
00:28:12Of course.
00:28:13Yeah.
00:28:14Sure.
00:28:25I'd love it if we could talk.
00:28:27Maybe when you bring back the car.
00:28:28I think it's...
00:28:37It's just that.
00:28:39Is it...
00:28:44It'd be great for you.
00:28:58No, no, no, no, we're afraid of Tony's.
00:29:00Tony and I, we came here to get her wig.
00:29:04Maybe she's coming down, or...
00:29:07Uh, Cher, sorry, we're actually in a bit of a hurry, so if you could just...
00:29:10If you think it can intimidate me, you're fucking wrong!
00:29:14I've got a taser in here that because it's 3D printed, I don't know how to use it!
00:29:19Stop throwing hairpins! Just give us the wig!
00:29:21Did Tony tell you she's been shagging me stepdad?
00:29:24She's torn my family apart!
00:29:26Me mother's had to go impatient!
00:29:29That's almost impossible to defend.
00:29:31Maybe if I try and talk to her one-on-one, I'd...
00:29:33All right, I'd be happy to try.
00:29:35Um, no offense, Whitney, but I think you might be a bit too...
00:29:38American for someone like Cher.
00:29:40Well, Whitney should go. She's always so calm in the face of chaos.
00:29:43Okay, well, let's probably throw a hairdryer, aren't you, but...
00:29:45Cher? My name's Whitney, and I'm a lightworker specializing in interpersonal relationships.
00:29:52May I come in?
00:29:59What's that?
00:30:00What's that?
00:30:06Hmm...
00:30:07So, uh, you were saying earlier you were looking for a job. What about your, um, wet mouth money?
00:30:10I can't live off that forever. Besides, I need to save that for...
00:30:15Hmm...
00:30:15I need to save that money.
00:30:19And is Whitney looking for a job, or...
00:30:21Does she make money off TikTok, or...?
00:30:23I knew you'd take her.
00:30:24No, I just...
00:30:25Look, I know, she's kooky and different to you, and she might use words that you think are stupid, but
00:30:30Whitney has helped me so much.
00:30:33When we met, I, uh...
00:30:37I was in a really dark place. I was sat on a beach in Malibu, and I...
00:30:48I'm lucky to have found her.
00:30:50We've basically spent every day together since.
00:30:53Well, then, I'm excited to get to know her better.
00:30:57Hold on.
00:30:59She's boxing up the wig for us.
00:31:01Aw, amazing!
00:31:02So, once we're back at the apartment, I just need to start the staging process straight away.
00:31:06Thanks, Cher. And sorry about your mum.
00:31:09Whitney's right. I need to let her go.
00:31:11Wow. And Whitney, you are just so impressive.
00:31:16Personally, if Tony had called me a cunt, I would struggle to get past that.
00:31:19But with the power of light, I guess anything is possible, so...
00:31:22What?
00:31:23Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry, did Whitney not say...
00:31:26Would I?
00:31:27That stepped, that shagging rat, that the gumption to call me!
00:31:31A gum, Cher!
00:31:32Remember the grounding exercise I taught you?
00:31:34Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:31:39no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:31:47no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:31:49no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:31:49no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:31:49no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:32:11I'm so sorry, you guys. I just assumed Whitney to share the full truth, so. I'm such an
00:32:21idiot. So, no Barbie and Skipper? Oh, no, no, no. I'll get us in. How? Those stickers are like gold
00:32:30dust. It's prints at the roundhouse all over again. Yeah, I've many options, but first, I should probably just call
00:32:40my agent. Vanessa? You still with her? Right. Yeah, after that dinner party, yeah, Betty told me all about it.
00:32:49Yeah, no, things are great.
00:32:50Oh, well, there's actually, my new play has been shortlisted for an award, so. Really? Like a big one? Yeah,
00:32:56I'm like the biggest. Actually, I've never even longlisted before, so. Congratulations. Thanks.
00:33:05Adonisious.
00:33:10Hello? Maggie. I'm sorry, but this graveyard has terrible reception. Vanessa, hi. I'm just wondering if you could help me
00:33:18out. I'm trying to get tickets to this thing tonight.
00:33:20Okay. Yeah, um, it's a drag show, and, um, I don't know if you know anyone who works in that
00:33:28area, or...
00:33:33Sorry, Maggie, I couldn't hear you. There are people nearby grieving loudly. Did you say a drag show? Like a
00:33:38gay thing?
00:33:39Yes, very gay.
00:33:41Rupert could probably help.
00:33:42Rupert.
00:33:42Rupert Everett. He's an old friend. He'll be at the Mandalay Club from six, if you want to go and
00:33:48ask him. He doesn't take calls.
00:33:50Yeah, yeah, I know, I know it well.
00:33:51I'd come with you, but Hilary Mantle snuck a clause into her contract that I had to polish her gravestone
00:33:56once a month after her death. I'll send you the address.
00:33:59Oh, thank you so much, Vanessa.
00:34:04Done and done.
00:34:06We just need to go and schmooze Rupert Everett, and we'll be all gravy.
00:34:09Rupert Everett? Cool.
00:34:11That is cool.
00:34:13We can go get changed at mind, and then head over to the Mandalay Club.
00:34:16Oh, we actually should go back to our apartment, because we kind of need to get settled, and, like, freshen
00:34:23up.
00:34:23That's true.
00:34:24But we could meet you at this peg place later.
00:34:29Right, Maggie?
00:34:30And you don't need us, do you?
00:34:31Of course.
00:34:33I'll have the Rupert.
00:34:37Oh, sorry.
00:34:39Oh, yeah.
00:34:58Oh, hi.
00:35:00Hi, uh, I'm, um, I'm Maggie Donovan.
00:35:12Oh, um, okay, thanks.
00:35:16I am all set.
00:35:18Ah, that'll be Maggie.
00:35:19Thank goodness you're here.
00:35:21Oh, here I am.
00:35:22Darling, they've arrived.
00:35:24Ah.
00:35:24Ah, you must be Maggie.
00:35:29You know, when Vanessa said she was sending you over, I thought, finally, somebody cares about me.
00:35:37Hmm?
00:35:38Hmm?
00:35:40Now, you're a little bit, uh, little, though.
00:35:44We'll need to get the French maid's uniform altered.
00:35:47Don't start with that.
00:35:48Wait, squeeze me, darling.
00:35:50We're trying to inject some glamour into the proceedings.
00:35:53Darling, behave.
00:35:54This is your third assistant this month.
00:35:56What?
00:35:56No, no, no.
00:35:56No, no, sorry.
00:35:57No, no.
00:35:58I'm, I'm, I'm actually a playwright.
00:36:00Oh, yes, darling.
00:36:01That's what they all say.
00:36:02The last one didn't like the costume either.
00:36:03You know, you just can't get the star.
00:36:07No, no.
00:36:08Seriously, no.
00:36:08I'm just here to see if you can help me to get tickets for this thing tonight.
00:36:15You know, it's a teensy little bit early to be asking for favours, darling.
00:36:20But I admire your spunk.
00:36:21Oh.
00:36:22Come on, let's go and get a martini.
00:36:24Ah.
00:36:26No.
00:36:27I'm not a bad boss, Mandy.
00:36:30Despite what the various court filings may say, I'm simply a world-renowned actor with a taste for the finer
00:36:37things in life.
00:36:38Hmm.
00:36:39Is that a crime?
00:36:40Oh.
00:36:46Now, I do ask that my silk items be hand-washed by you in front of me.
00:36:52I love to watch.
00:36:53Look, I am not actually your average assistant.
00:36:58No, I am.
00:36:59I'm so much more.
00:37:00Ah.
00:37:01You're a perineal masseuse.
00:37:03Sure.
00:37:04But I also am just really on top of your schedule.
00:37:06In fact, you happen to have an appearance at Peg tonight, so we better get going.
00:37:11An appearance?
00:37:12At Peg?
00:37:13What's Peg?
00:37:14Oh, it's a really cool gay club.
00:37:15You will be introducing two drag queens at their show.
00:37:18Why the tit would I be doing that?
00:37:19I don't do appearances.
00:37:20I'm Rupert fucking Everett, darling.
00:37:22The B is astronomical.
00:37:28I didn't even say so before.
00:37:30Oh.
00:37:31Oh.
00:37:33He's fine.
00:37:34All right, guys.
00:37:35Up, see.
00:37:44Okay.
00:37:46We are here, girl.
00:37:47We have light from the other window.
00:37:49Bricks.
00:37:49Yes.
00:37:50Brubio, let's go.
00:37:52Oh.
00:37:53We are here.
00:37:54Oh, my God.
00:37:55Bitch.
00:37:56Hi.
00:37:59Hey.
00:38:00Ah, wonderful.
00:38:01Is this your dealer?
00:38:02Darling, do you have any Adderall?
00:38:05He's kidding.
00:38:06He's kidding.
00:38:07I think we should just cut him.
00:38:08Oh, my God.
00:38:09There you are.
00:38:10Cutting it a bit fine, babe.
00:38:11Where's the wig?
00:38:14Well, hello.
00:38:16Sorry, Tony.
00:38:16I wouldn't give it to you.
00:38:17It's just being very difficult.
00:38:19That little bitch.
00:38:21I'm sorry.
00:38:21I had to escort Rupert inside.
00:38:22He capped out here with a crass.
00:38:23The fucking neck of you, Chef Briar.
00:38:27Should I wait?
00:38:27It'll be fine.
00:38:28Hi.
00:38:29We just have a VIP with us, if we could just...
00:38:31Name?
00:38:32So we are not on the list,
00:38:33but I just know that Barbie and Skipper
00:38:35would want a gay icon of this caliber in the audience.
00:38:37Will somebody please give me a fucking upper?
00:38:40Are you joking?
00:38:41It really isn't, but please just be cool.
00:38:43What have I told you about coming back here?
00:38:46Daddy needs his uppie.
00:38:47Get him out of here before I call the police.
00:38:49Please?
00:38:50No, I think you are mistaken.
00:38:50This man's been terrorizing us for years.
00:38:52He's the reason that Stabler's got complex PTSD.
00:38:56You're in violation of about 10 restraining orders,
00:38:58you utter fuckhead.
00:39:00Code Dharma.
00:39:01I repeat, Code Dharma at the front door.
00:39:04Code Dharma?
00:39:05Oh, my God.
00:39:05You set my fucking wig on fire!
00:39:08Yeah, and I'll do it again,
00:39:09because no one calls shit!
00:39:11Ryan a punch!
00:39:12And gets away with it!
00:39:13Why'd you tell him that, you villain?
00:39:16This is why everybody hates straight people!
00:39:20Straight-ish!
00:39:21She's not coming in.
00:39:22No shit.
00:39:22Fuck off, babes.
00:39:24And stay fucked off!
00:39:25How is this?
00:39:27Wait around here, darling.
00:39:29Get to the back!
00:39:30Oh, baby!
00:39:31Brian?
00:39:32Oh, my God!
00:39:33Brian!
00:39:33Oh, my God, you have to help us get in.
00:39:41We are too old for this, Maggie.
00:39:44Today was insane,
00:39:46but this is not who I am anymore.
00:39:48I promise I have changed.
00:39:50You will see.
00:39:50I will show you.
00:39:53I think I can hope.
00:39:56What?
00:39:58Well, I didn't want to say anything,
00:40:00but I thought, you know,
00:40:02maybe we need a plan C.
00:40:05So I reached out to my online community,
00:40:08and the universe provided me with a DM
00:40:10from a guy whose mom owns this whole club.
00:40:15Look, there is no way
00:40:16that is some weirdo in his basement
00:40:17looking for attention.
00:40:18No, I think that's him now.
00:40:19It is!
00:40:21It is!
00:40:23It is!
00:40:24Oh, my God!
00:40:26You!
00:40:26You!
00:40:27You!
00:40:28It's really you!
00:40:29I've been looking for you everywhere.
00:40:32I mean, not physically,
00:40:33but on Instagram.
00:40:34Oh, my God.
00:40:36Physically.
00:40:37Wait.
00:40:37You know each other?
00:40:41I saw something like this
00:40:43in your soul contract, remember?
00:40:45A cherished old friend
00:40:47would return to your life.
00:40:49I had no idea it would be Crent.
00:40:52Listen, can you start Monday?
00:40:53What?
00:40:54Oh, my God.
00:40:55Look at me getting ahead of myself.
00:40:57I'm just so excited about this.
00:40:58Good luck.
00:40:59It's for your day.
00:41:00It is.
00:41:01It is.
00:41:02I love that.
00:41:04I love you.
00:41:05Oh, sorry.
00:41:06You just did a bump.
00:41:07Anyway,
00:41:07Mommy just bought Walthamstow
00:41:09and gave me a building,
00:41:10so I'm opening a bar
00:41:12and you get to manage it.
00:41:13Eddie!
00:41:15Oh, my God, Es.
00:41:16Sorry.
00:41:18Finding Eddie a job
00:41:19was our next step.
00:41:20Oh, amazing.
00:41:21Let's go inside
00:41:22and talk business.
00:41:24Eddie!
00:41:26God, this is such
00:41:27a blessing
00:41:29from the universe.
00:41:34Okay.
00:41:35Okay.
00:41:36Yeah, sure.
00:41:37I knew you'd say yes.
00:41:39Okay, come with me.
00:41:40Oh, hey, guys.
00:41:41This is Eddie,
00:41:42my working-class friend.
00:41:44Come on.
00:41:45Come on.
00:41:46You two men.
00:42:03Oh, hey, Maggie.
00:42:04Oh, hey, Maggie.
00:42:09Sorry.
00:42:10It's, uh...
00:42:11Is this in Will, is it?
00:42:12I blocked you years ago.
00:42:13Oh, well, I got a new number.
00:42:15Look, don't hang up.
00:42:16It's about Whitney.
00:42:18What about her?
00:42:19Eddie sent me a few texts
00:42:20when she first got to L.A.
00:42:22and then went completely AWOL.
00:42:24Not a peep since then
00:42:25and now
00:42:26she reappears
00:42:27with this spiritual guru
00:42:29slash influencer.
00:42:31Something feels off.
00:42:33Okay, well,
00:42:35you're a nerd.
00:42:36Do some research.
00:42:37Dig up some dirt.
00:42:38Or something.
00:42:39I can do that.
00:42:41Piss off, princess.
00:42:42We're having a party.
00:42:47Hmm?
00:42:48Suit yourself, something.
00:43:12Hi.
00:43:13I'm God.
00:43:17Oh.writing
00:43:43Hey, sorry, I'm just mid-svin.
00:43:44Oh, Maggie, I don't like you using that thing.
00:43:46That's what killed Mr. Big.
00:43:48Yeah, good point.
00:43:49I'll call it a day.
00:43:52So, how are things with Eddie?
00:43:54She's enjoying her new job.
00:43:57Do you think I made the bar too low?
00:44:01I assumed I'd be incredible at interior design because of my breeding.
00:44:04It's actually kind of hard.
00:44:08Eddie!
00:44:08Yes, Grant?
00:44:09Time Out magazine is coming tonight, and it's like you don't even care if they think my bar is enchanting.
00:44:14Look, I know this might come as a surprise to you.
00:44:17I've got other more important things to be directing my mental energy to right now.
00:44:20Like what?
00:44:21Like my own inner peace, and how to protect it when different energies come into my soul space.
00:44:26And can old energies merge with new energies, or should I just...
00:44:29I went to a bar in Milan where none of the staff wore shoes.
00:44:32Maybe that's the answer.
00:44:35Well, I think she's loving it, yeah.
00:44:37I haven't actually seen her since the drag show, but I've just, um...
00:44:40I've just been really busy with my Depop.
00:44:44I found a load of old Jane Norman tops, and the kids are going well for them, so...
00:44:49Will you see her soon, yeah?
00:44:50Oh, sure.
00:44:51Yeah, I just want to let her settle in.
00:44:54And I just don't want to seem like a crazy star, really.
00:45:01You know, Crent, Whitney always says that listening is more powerful than talking.
00:45:05Is that aimed at me?
00:45:06I'm a fantastic listener.
00:45:09Look!
00:45:16Fine.
00:45:19Whitney thinks I should cut out...
00:45:23meat.
00:45:25And I get it, because meat does kind of cause chaos.
00:45:28But I think I'll really, really miss it.
00:45:36You can still talk.
00:45:37Oh, okay.
00:45:40Well, um...
00:45:41I mean, did Whitney ever give meat a chance?
00:45:43Like, did she ever have a Nando's?
00:45:46Uh...
00:45:47Because chicken is not really meat, right?
00:45:49Like, a bird is more of a plant than an animal.
00:45:53So I think if you have as much meat as you can while Whitney's away,
00:45:56and then if it shuffles your chakras, you know you have to give it up for good.
00:46:01Right, listening time's over.
00:46:03Are you sure you have to take the rest of the day off?
00:46:05Very sure.
00:46:07But from anything else, it's basic employment law.
00:46:09Yes, but this is my chance to show mother that I have what it takes to be a nightlife tycoon
00:46:14slash corporate landlord.
00:46:15I've managed to set this place up so it actually functions,
00:46:18which is all you need to be mentioned in a listicle about hinge date venues.
00:46:22Yes, I know, but Betty...
00:46:24And also, isn't the journalist literally your father's mate?
00:46:26You of all people should know how nepotism works.
00:46:28Yes, but I want a big, splassy rave.
00:46:30You think I'll get a big, splashy rave?
00:46:33I'm not sure what they'd rave about.
00:46:35This place lacks any real identity.
00:46:39What do you mean?
00:46:40I mean, it's called Lodge by Kay.
00:46:41Who?
00:46:42But there is nothing lodgy about it.
00:46:50Can I borrow your phone?
00:46:53Just make sure you put yourself first.
00:46:56I know Eddie is very important to you, but you've come a long way in the last year.
00:46:59And I don't want you to get you.
00:47:02I have to go.
00:47:07How dare you hang off on you.
00:47:09I didn't hang off on you, Mum.
00:47:10The conversation was over.
00:47:13Look, I need a shower.
00:47:15Eddie invited me over.
00:47:19I don't know.
00:47:19I'm going to some disgusting hippie warehouse full of mice and rats and shit.
00:47:23Yeah.
00:47:24A friend of Whitney's lent us the place.
00:47:26He's doing a walk across India to raise awareness for people who raise awareness.
00:47:30So you're not paying anything?
00:47:31I don't know.
00:47:32Whitney looks after our finances.
00:47:33Oh.
00:47:35Speaking of my girl.
00:47:37Whitney, where's she at?
00:47:38She's so excited to get to know her better.
00:47:41She's out of town.
00:47:42We'll be back tomorrow.
00:47:42What?
00:47:43Oh, that's such a shame.
00:47:45It is, yeah.
00:47:47Just because Thursday's my soul reset day, which Whitney usually supports me through.
00:47:51But I thought maybe you could help instead.
00:47:57Oh.
00:47:57Okay, sure.
00:47:58Yeah.
00:47:59I mean, I've never done a soul recycling before, but I...
00:48:03Maggie, this is my spiritual practice.
00:48:05Don't take the piss.
00:48:06No, no, no.
00:48:07I'm not.
00:48:07I'm really not.
00:48:09Okay.
00:48:09I was going to start with a cleansing sound bath.
00:48:11Amazing.
00:48:12I would love to bathe sound.
00:48:14I really...
00:48:15If you're tired, it won't work.
00:48:17You have to focus.
00:48:18No.
00:48:18No, no, I'm not.
00:48:19That was just, like, nervous excitement.
00:48:22Like, I think, like, when a dog yawns.
00:48:24But I really want to know more about it.
00:48:27Like, everything you've learned from Whitney, because it's obviously helped you a lot.
00:48:32And I think that's really great.
00:48:35Okay, because I need this after a week of full-time Krent.
00:48:38Oh, right.
00:48:39Krent is your boss now.
00:48:40In name only.
00:48:41He knows who's really in charge.
00:48:42He does whatever I say.
00:48:49I've got a shitload of logs here for a printer for the Goldman Sachs.
00:48:55Okay.
00:48:58Sorry.
00:49:04Let your eyelids slide generously closed over your eyeballs and wait for the sound I make
00:49:13to start moving through your root chakra.
00:49:23Is it, like, one of those sounds that are only animals, Kenny?
00:49:25I'm just warming it up.
00:49:32Can I try?
00:49:42Oh, my God.
00:49:45Is this the thing I'm good at?
00:49:46Oh, wow, legs.
00:49:48Whitney always says the ball responds best to those with true inner serenity.
00:49:52Do you feel super serene?
00:49:56Almost overwhelmingly so.
00:49:58It's almost like I've been...
00:50:09It's so soothing.
00:50:12Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
00:50:14Wow, Maggie.
00:50:15Are you chanting?
00:50:16Yes, I learned it in primary school.
00:50:19It's really common in Ireland.
00:50:20I'm money, I'm money, I'm bongo.
00:50:29Salamander.
00:50:31Ah, Jesus, what was that?
00:50:33A landline, Maggie.
00:50:35Oh, hey.
00:50:40Hello?
00:50:43Wait, Mia, slow down.
00:50:45Jesus!
00:50:46Okay, I'm on my way, just...
00:50:48Stay calm.
00:50:49It's calm.
00:50:50I'm calm.
00:50:54Grant's done something even dumber than I thought him capable of.
00:50:57I have to go down there.
00:50:58Oh, no.
00:51:00I totally understand.
00:51:01We can just hang out another time.
00:51:03Actually, could you come with me?
00:51:05I really need to stay grounded.
00:51:07It would be great if you could be my...
00:51:08soul anchor,
00:51:10seeing as you're just so mellow today.
00:51:12Absolutely.
00:51:17Oh, it's too hot.
00:51:19Okay, guys,
00:51:21the log piles still just look like log piles.
00:51:24Pooey, you've ruined the surprise.
00:51:27Oh, my God.
00:51:28You filled the bar with tiny soreness.
00:51:31Okay, I'm...
00:51:32I just...
00:51:33I'm just...
00:51:34take a deep breath
00:51:35and think of...
00:51:37bedtime.
00:51:39Grant, can you please explain yourself
00:51:41in the least infuriating way possible?
00:51:43When you're a business owner,
00:51:44you have to take risks and be bold.
00:51:46That's according to Jamie Lang's podcast.
00:51:48So I thought,
00:51:49how can I ensure that we get a rave review?
00:51:51Stay home.
00:51:52And then it came to me.
00:51:54Lodge by Kay.
00:51:55Lodge.
00:51:56Ski Lodge.
00:51:57Alpine Luxury.
00:51:58Now, what do you think
00:51:59when you think Alpine Luxury?
00:52:02Saunas.
00:52:04So you get a drink
00:52:05and maybe some olives
00:52:06and then you take those olives
00:52:07into the little hot cup.
00:52:09Isn't it so chic?
00:52:10Right.
00:52:10First things first.
00:52:13Hey, what are you doing?
00:52:14Let's turn off all my saunas.
00:52:15Well, that's very much the idea.
00:52:18Well, we just leave
00:52:18and pretend we never saw this.
00:52:21Get rid of the saunas.
00:52:22My saunas?
00:52:23No.
00:52:24This bar cannot house five saunas.
00:52:26The heat will get us shut down.
00:52:27Get rid of them.
00:52:28But I love them.
00:52:29Get rid of the saunas
00:52:30or I quit.
00:52:35Sighs.
00:52:36I'm sorry for the everything.
00:52:38It will all get sorted.
00:52:40Just please don't leave.
00:52:41John, are you happy?
00:52:42They're coming to take them away tomorrow.
00:52:44Tomorrow?
00:52:45So after time out comes,
00:52:48call your mate
00:52:49and tell him to come another night.
00:52:50Oh, they're not coming.
00:52:51They texted Elliot to say
00:52:52they can't make it.
00:52:53They're sending someone new.
00:52:55A man called TJ.
00:52:57According to his Instagram,
00:52:59he loves social housing
00:53:00and hates the elite,
00:53:02whoever they are.
00:53:03Maybe a band?
00:53:04Thank you, Krent.
00:53:05That will be all.
00:53:09Okay.
00:53:10Come on, let me just...
00:53:14Oh, why is it still so hot?
00:53:16Apparently they take hours to cool down.
00:53:18Between that and the fact that this place
00:53:19now has the carbon footprint of an airport,
00:53:20he has really outcrunted himself.
00:53:22We need to shift these saunas.
00:53:24What happened to the mans with vans?
00:53:26They used to be everywhere.
00:53:27Oh.
00:53:28Maybe I can find one on Tinder.
00:53:30I just...
00:53:31Are you okay?
00:53:33Yeah.
00:53:33Totally.
00:53:34I think, um...
00:53:35I think the sound bath just really, like,
00:53:36relaxed my muscles, you know.
00:53:38Or maybe Jay knows someone.
00:53:40Survivalists have vans, right?
00:53:42Yeah, you have to take this.
00:53:44Aw.
00:53:44Thanks, Bags.
00:53:46You're really helping me out today.
00:53:49Maybe I can't handle a week without Whitney.
00:54:02I found something.
00:54:04I've been deep in the way-back machine all day.
00:54:07And boy,
00:54:08my wrists are tired.
00:54:09How did you know I was here?
00:54:13Did I post this?
00:54:15Yeah.
00:54:16What the fuck?
00:54:19Stressedy bestie.
00:54:20So, Whitney.
00:54:21She hasn't always been this hippie guru.
00:54:23No, this is her.
00:54:24Literally three years ago.
00:54:25She was a slime influencer.
00:54:27And she...
00:54:28God, it's hot in here.
00:54:31She's got an internet history
00:54:32as long as my extendable duster.
00:54:33I mean, we need to tell Eddie
00:54:35what we found here.
00:54:36Right.
00:54:37Yes.
00:54:39Not today.
00:54:40Today, I am an anchor.
00:54:42Right, but...
00:54:43She needs to know
00:54:44who she's going into business with.
00:54:45I'm worried that Eddie
00:54:46has given Whitney money.
00:54:48We need to sit her down right now.
00:54:49Do you still know that drug dealer
00:54:51with the stolen lorry?
00:54:52Oh, get in here.
00:54:53What?
00:54:53She'll be with you shortly.
00:54:55Just come on.
00:54:57What's his name?
00:54:58Chins?
00:54:58He only sold Xanax and poppers.
00:55:00I think Chins are on God's.
00:55:03Hey!
00:55:04Let's put some music on in here.
00:55:05Come on, let's pop up the jam.
00:55:07Come on!
00:55:08Let's dance!
00:55:12Woo!
00:55:23Maggie?
00:55:25Maggie?
00:55:26Maggie?
00:55:28Alright, sorry.
00:55:29I was just checking the floor
00:55:31for heat damage,
00:55:33but um none of this um none of this is on fire so can someone help there are two more
00:55:41of these
00:55:41in the abbey lee well what's in there ice i got loads of ice i thought we could make ice
00:55:47sculptures
00:55:47i mean how hard could it be edward scissorhands did it and he was literally part scissor but it's
00:55:52boiling hot in here so we get air corn i mean the planet no but credit that he coming off
00:55:57of these
00:55:57things will melt that i am oh i know i forgot something what are you doing here she she brought
00:56:05me here and then she will not be in there he he is lying he begged me to get in
00:56:10there please don't
00:56:11make me go in the hot place again mommy he was being crazy and and i knew that you wanted
00:56:16to be a calm
00:56:17woo woo shippy this is my healing journey no i i didn't mean i knew you were full of
00:56:23shit no i would i would never two days about whitney and this is what happened just get out
00:56:27both of you get the out of my bar get the out of krent's bar
00:56:42so what do we do now
00:56:47i cannot believe it wasn't the fact that i'm sedated that
00:56:50fucked things up it was just you i have a fire in my mouth it's burning me
00:56:56everyone can ask me what to do
00:57:00it's like how should i know you know just because i'm the owner of the bar and the only person
00:57:07who
00:57:07stands to benefit financially from its success i should know what i'm doing this affair hey before
00:57:14i lost my vision i remember thinking that the sauna was really nice the seat was comfortable and i
00:57:19love the man in the red cloak who showed me the passage to hades thanks man oh maggie you're a
00:57:24good friend you're trying what else can you do oh okay if no one minds i'm gonna take myself to
00:57:34the
00:57:34nearest hospital
00:57:37listen we can turn the stupid fucking saunas into little private rooms pretend it's all on purpose if
00:57:43we can make the whole place look like a proper ski we're gonna go back in there and we're gonna
00:57:48turn your stupid mistake into a beautiful triumph ready what are you doing is that some kind of street
00:57:56code
00:57:57is
00:57:57Ha!
00:57:59Woah!
00:58:03I'm gonna get a
00:58:06These
00:58:06I wear sick
00:58:07Swallow my knees
00:58:08I stay knees
00:58:10I stay get a
00:58:13Do it!
00:58:14Do it!
00:58:15See how they got my blind son
00:58:16I sit footage
00:58:17I stay loaded
00:58:18I sit footage
00:58:19I sit footage
00:58:20I sit footage
00:58:21I sit footage
00:58:21I sit footage
00:58:22I sit
00:58:24Everybody's nervous
00:58:25Where you think you're going and going nowhere
00:58:30I sit footage
00:58:32I sit footage
00:58:33I got it
00:58:33I got it
00:58:34I got it
00:58:34I got it
00:58:34I got it
00:58:35I got it
00:58:39Listen, it looks worse than it is
00:58:57Anyone who's ever had their period in a white tankini knows how to clean up a bloodstain, so...
00:59:04Oh, Dope, you came! I'll step on your mullet. It looks not enough.
00:59:11I saved you a CP-Coswell's massive, and don't worry.
00:59:19This is impressive.
00:59:21God.
00:59:24Seriously.
00:59:27It actually looks so good.
00:59:32A D! OMG!
00:59:34The last 90 minutes have literally been the hardest of my life.
00:59:37I had to learn things, and then answer questions, and then Maggie...
00:59:40Purr. Purr pride.
00:59:43By admitting she wasn't so great with a power tool.
00:59:47Right, Krant? It was so funny.
00:59:52We did so many laughs.
00:59:55I really thought I'd come back to somehow even more chaos, but...
01:00:00You...
01:00:01You fixed it.
01:00:04Thank you, Eddie.
01:00:06The time-out man is going to be here any minute.
01:00:08Do my cellar pets look fresh?
01:00:10Get Eddie a jumper, and I'm just going to pee.
01:00:13That's kind of a thought.
01:00:28That's okay.
01:00:30I'm so hungry.
01:00:37That's better.
01:00:37I'm so hungry.
01:00:40I'm so hungry.
01:00:42I'm so hungry.
01:00:43I'm just saying happy.
01:00:44I don't know what I say
01:00:48I should cry and have a grin
01:00:52You're welcome to
01:00:53Thank you
01:01:00You're welcome to
01:01:04Do you think he likes my tree?
01:01:08I think I should talk to him
01:01:10You have to trust me on this one
01:01:12That man will not like you
01:01:15Boiler?
01:01:16Just down there, bruv
01:01:19What? I don't have a code switch
01:01:21No, no, no
01:01:22No, no, no
01:01:23Look, I didn't touch her
01:01:26I swear, oh god
01:01:27They're gonna find a text I sent to my ex-girlfriend
01:01:29Maggie! Maggie! It's okay, don't panic
01:01:31I think I can get Elton to sing Candle at her fume
01:01:34No, this can't be
01:01:35You can't do this to me, Maggie
01:01:39Oh, mummy
01:01:40Turn off the big light
01:01:41Okay
01:01:52And that
01:01:53Is as far as we've got
01:01:57We're still worshiping it
01:01:59Obviously, but
01:02:00I think it's gonna be
01:02:01Ready for the public really soon
01:02:03What?
01:02:04Our
01:02:06Scandi noir
01:02:08Murder mystery immersive experience
01:02:10Is literally the theme of the part
01:02:12Did you guys not warn him?
01:02:15We thought it would be fun
01:02:16If he felt real fear
01:02:19Oh, they forgot to give you your detective costume
01:02:21You're a detective?
01:02:22No, he's still in character
01:02:24And he'll give away the ending if we let him
01:02:27This is his baby
01:02:28He loved the killing
01:02:29Yo, I've been to more escape rooms
01:02:32And punch drunk shows than I'd like to admit
01:02:33But this
01:02:35This was legit
01:02:37Yeah, I fucking love it
01:02:40You do?
01:02:41Yeah
01:02:42Because he went and shit
01:02:43That was boring
01:02:44But the horribly realistic dead body
01:02:46Yeah
01:02:46That was fucking cool
01:02:49Still feel kinda sick
01:02:50But time out will love this
01:02:52When's it launch?
01:02:54Let's let Maggie clean up
01:02:56And Kren will tell you all about it
01:03:00Okay
01:03:01I can't actually tell you much
01:03:03Because I don't really understand that myself
01:03:09Kren's giving us a massive casting budget
01:03:11Where do you find actors?
01:03:12Gumtree?
01:03:13Leave it with me
01:03:19Genuinely, thanks for today
01:03:22Oiled will aside
01:03:23You're a great soul anchor
01:03:29I thought you wouldn't be able to accept me
01:03:32As I am
01:03:34Now
01:03:35What?
01:03:36I'd accept you even if you were a Disney adult
01:03:40Thanks
01:03:43Whitney was concerned
01:03:44That your chaos would bring me down again
01:03:47Like it did last year
01:03:48But you've changed
01:03:50I can really see that
01:03:53Will, on the other hand
01:03:54Wait, what did Will do?
01:03:56He basically declared his love for me
01:03:58After the abortion
01:03:59Whitney helped me see how toxic that was
01:04:02She's helped me so much
01:04:06It's like
01:04:08Before I met her
01:04:10I'd been holding my breath
01:04:15Like since Dad died
01:04:17And now
01:04:20I'm breathing again
01:04:27I want to learn from Whitney
01:04:31Really?
01:04:33Maybe she could help with my scalp thing
01:04:37Me and Whitney are moving to Devon
01:04:39We're starting an intentional community down there
01:04:42That's where she's been this week
01:04:46Wow
01:04:49Well, um
01:04:51I have always wanted to spend more time on trains
01:04:54So, they'll make it work
01:04:57Maybe tomorrow we can have a real day off together
01:04:59Eddie?
01:05:01I tried calling you, are you okay?
01:05:03Hi, my curly
01:05:06Maggie's here
01:05:07She really helped me
01:05:09There was this whole
01:05:10Crint-related emergency
01:05:12Hey, wouldn't it?
01:05:14Maggie really wants to learn from you, Whit
01:05:16She responded so well
01:05:17To your techniques today
01:05:18If that's okay with you
01:05:21Of course
01:05:24Anyone with an honest heart
01:05:26Is a welcome in my world
01:05:30You look stunning
01:05:31Do you have a facial or something?
01:05:33I wasn't on vacation, Eddie
01:05:36I was securing our future
01:05:37Of course
01:05:38I'm so sorry
01:05:40You worked so hard for us
01:05:44I guess the ocean just did wonders for my inner light
01:05:49Yeah, wow
01:05:50Well, that light
01:05:53Certainly is
01:05:55Blindingly white