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00:00:02Oh, Cuba! Cuba of my heart!
00:00:06I hope I win the trip, huh?
00:00:08Because I want to insert a varicose vein into my body
00:00:10And then, if I don't happen to smoke a good cigar.
00:00:12I'd like to do it too, it'll break the routine.
00:00:15Lying in the sun, drinking mojitos, watching girls in bikinis...
00:00:18Well, the same thing you do here, right?
00:00:19Yes, but without you.
00:00:21Well, I went with Bosco and the whole communism thing terrified me.
00:00:24It doesn't surprise me, Cubans are like Russians who have had too much sun.
00:00:28Yes, but then again they're much more civilized than us, aren't they?
00:00:30Every time a poor person approached me, they were arrested.
00:00:32Ah, look.
00:00:33I would love to go to Cuba so I can learn the language.
00:00:37The patch!
00:00:40Hello.
00:00:41Hello everyone.
00:00:43Here you go, director.
00:00:44Thank you so much.
00:00:46Good.
00:00:47Hello, guys, hello, girls.
00:00:49I know I've been very harsh with you,
00:00:51But I did it because I know you have great potential.
00:00:54And today I want to reward the great effort you have made in my first month in charge.
00:00:59So let's raffle off that trip to Cuba now, okay?
00:01:02Oh, who could it be? Who could it be?
00:01:04That in the viol, viol, viol, rice with beans, on the boardwalk...
00:01:09It's like we're not touching Cuba, huh?
00:01:10Because you're just like Castro.
00:01:13Come on.
00:01:14And the winner is...
00:01:16Let it be my turn, let it be my turn, let it be my turn.
00:01:18Please, please.
00:01:19Because I deserve it.
00:01:20Me, me, me, me, me.
00:01:23Fuck.
00:01:24Mariano Santaella.
00:01:27Wow!
00:01:28It's not fair!
00:01:29The trip should be for the workers!
00:01:32Holy God, who will I become?
00:01:34Congratulations, brother.
00:01:37A few words.
00:01:38Thank you.
00:01:41I was born in a humble private clinic in La Moraleja.
00:01:45I never imagined the day would come when I would tell you...
00:01:50Boom!
00:01:50I'm going to Cuba and you can all stay there, you suckers.
00:01:53Yes, yes.
00:01:54Let's hope you have a bit of luck and at least get laid by paying for it.
00:01:56Come on.
00:01:57But it's always the same.
00:01:59Rigged!
00:02:01Let me help you, Madam Director.
00:02:02That his knees are more important than Messi's.
00:02:05No, no, uh...
00:02:05Josep, don't bother, really.
00:02:06It's no trouble.
00:02:08Mariano, Mariano, Mariano.
00:02:10His brother has rigged the lottery tickets.
00:02:12But what kind of twisted mind does one need to do something like that?
00:02:15I rigged it myself.
00:02:16Brilliant decision.
00:02:17And if I may be so bold, why are you paying for your brother's temper to go on vacation?
00:02:20If he is the Urdangarin of his family.
00:02:22Okay, I'll tell you, but don't tell anyone, okay?
00:02:24I've managed to get a major clothing brand to come to the ship to do the campaign for their new line.
00:02:29They're going to film a commercial, do some photo shoots...
00:02:32And the best part is that Ronaldo stars in it.
00:02:36The fat one?
00:02:36Portuguese.
00:02:37He's a son of a bitch!
00:02:38Hey!
00:02:38Sorry, reflex action.
00:02:40And if I may be so bold, why doesn't he want the supervisor there?
00:02:43You haven't seen Mariano with a celebrity, have you?
00:02:45Majesty.
00:02:47Doña Leticia.
00:02:48Letizia, queen.
00:02:50No, no, no, no, if you remember that in college I bought a drink at Pachá.
00:02:55And that, that, that, no, no, nothing happened, okay?
00:02:56Well, I just casually touched her butt with my hand, sorry.
00:02:58I didn't want to give it to him in the package.
00:02:59Oh my god, now it's like we had a threesome, huh?
00:03:05You are very close.
00:03:07Don't worry, Madam Director.
00:03:08Nobody will know that Cristiano is coming.
00:03:09Although I wouldn't count him as a celebrity, even if he were Busquets.
00:03:15Yeah.
00:03:17No, I don't want fiber optics.
00:03:18Thank you so much.
00:03:19I live on a boat.
00:03:19Don't bother me.
00:03:28Pull, hold on to your panties.
00:03:30Guess who got on the boat?
00:03:32Who?
00:03:34Ronaldo?
00:03:36But the fat one or the dark-skinned one?
00:03:40Yes, yes, I'm not saying anything, I swear I'm not saying anything.
00:03:44Chist, no va, bien, bien.
00:03:47Okay, okay.
00:03:48Who's coming tomorrow?
00:03:49Cristiano Ronaldo.
00:03:51As?
00:03:51Well, if it's for one euro more, give me the unlimited ringtone plan too.
00:03:55Perfect, Wilson, thank you very much.
00:03:58See you later.
00:04:01That?
00:04:01Director, is it true that Cristiano Ronaldo is coming?
00:04:03The authentic Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos in Beiro.
00:04:05Born in Madeira, Portugal, on February 5, 1985.
00:04:09Real Madrid player and last winner of the Ballon d'Or.
00:04:11Humiliating Lion once again, Messi.
00:04:14Damn, with Reynman.
00:04:16Yes, he's coming, yes.
00:04:17How did you find out?
00:04:19It was you, wasn't it, Josep?
00:04:20This isn't how it is with you all the time.
00:04:22Madam Director, do you really think Cristiano Ronaldo will be able to listen to me?
00:04:25Don't worry, Tere.
00:04:26If Cristiano requires the services of a prostitute, I will call you.
00:04:29Look, look.
00:04:30Oh, yes, yes, okay.
00:04:31From my own activity.
00:04:32Wow!
00:04:33No, no, no, no!
00:04:34No, no, no!
00:04:35No, no, no!
00:04:36You're going to be here!
00:04:39Enough is enough!
00:04:40Ah! Ronaldo's stay must be perfect. So I don't want anyone, absolutely no one, to bother him.
00:04:47That's exactly why I got rid of my idiot brother.
00:04:50Ah, that's another bad thing about the supervisor.
00:04:52And what do you have in your brain? An Athena?
00:04:56Listen to me, Campillo, listen to me.
00:04:58I need no one to bother Cristiano Ronaldo. Will you be able to do that?
00:05:04Of course. It will be an honor to protect Cristiano. He's the person I admire most, well, after Chenoa.
00:05:09But for men, well, there's Bruce Willis. But for footballers, no.
00:05:12It's Raúl González Blanco, of course. But he's the first Portuguese player.
00:05:16After a child. Out.
00:05:41Sail with me towards a new course for your life in peace.
00:05:48But you can't leave, Mariano, damn it. We've been preparing this game for three weeks.
00:05:52Even Ramiro's coming, huh? I won't say any more. He's been given permission at the gambling addiction clinic.
00:05:56Ah, Ramiro's coming. Well then, let me assess. On the one hand, in Cuba we have, well, mojitos, pure savanna,
00:06:02Two mulatto women in thongs. And on the other hand, here we have cognac, Ducados cigarettes, and Ramiro in a tank top like this.
00:06:07rather sweat.
00:06:08Well, let's see. Cuba wins, but only just.
00:06:14Open up, someone's calling.
00:06:21Hello, Daddy. Uncle.
00:06:22Yeah.
00:06:22The pens you asked for, but why do you want so many?
00:06:25Because there's a great need there. You should see his happy face when I give him a pen.
00:06:30And in return they give me three boxes of Cuban cigars.
00:06:33Let's go. I hope your trip is worth it, because I wouldn't miss tomorrow's event for the world.
00:06:37nothing in the world.
00:06:39Okay, see you later, my love.
00:06:42Well, I didn't think you'd be so excited about tomorrow, huh?
00:06:44No.
00:06:45But don't worry, you don't need to spend a lot of money.
00:06:49But look, Olivia, my love, one thing, what is money for?
00:06:52To hide under a mattress? No, even to spend it with your friends, man.
00:06:54Clear.
00:06:55And Mom saying you wouldn't remember that tomorrow is my birthday.
00:06:58Hey?
00:07:00Today your mother!
00:07:02What, what, your mother?
00:07:04But what kind of monster would I be if I forgot that your birthday is, well, it falls tomorrow?
00:07:09Okay, that's settled then, right? So tomorrow you're having lunch with Mom and me and...
00:07:12Well, why not? Of course.
00:07:13And can you give me a hint about what the gift is?
00:07:17Well, the gift, you know, I'd say that's something...
00:07:21No, no, you're not going to get it out of me, are you? No, no, no, no.
00:07:24Okay, fine, then you'll give it to me tomorrow, okay?
00:07:26Tomorrow, tomorrow.
00:07:26It has given me the hope of seeing what that magnificent gift is.
00:07:30Oh, come on!
00:07:35The head of security in charge of the construction.
00:07:36I'll have a bucket for a week, they'll make me a Cuba...
00:07:39Man, there's the urn that brought me glory.
00:07:43Look, Campillo, I'm going to do an imitation of what I do at Christmas, and my grandmother laughs so much that
00:07:46The tea gets soaked in the law.
00:07:47And look, I am marked before her, bitter before her.
00:07:53And I'm going to hold a draw to see who I'm going to shove a stick up their ass.
00:07:57Oh, how exciting!
00:07:59And the winner is...
00:08:00Let me do it!
00:08:01Man!
00:08:04Sea...
00:08:05That?
00:08:05But I have my ballot right here.
00:08:09Mariano, Mariano, Mariano.
00:08:12But it's rigged.
00:08:14What a bitch, patches!
00:08:17No.
00:08:18Was he bathed?
00:08:20No.
00:08:21It just can't be.
00:08:22Did you know that?
00:08:22No.
00:08:23And did you know that?
00:08:23Traitor, dried-up piece of shit!
00:08:24No no.
00:08:25Tell me why you did it.
00:08:26Tell me what I am, Mariano Santaella.
00:08:27I hired you when Chenoa filed a restraining order against you.
00:08:31Street, street, street.
00:08:32I can't, Kepe.
00:08:33I admire you, but these are orders from the director.
00:08:36Ethical motto!
00:08:36Okay, come here, come here.
00:08:37Let's do one thing, look.
00:08:39I ask you questions and you answer yes or no.
00:08:42That way I can find out without you having to tell me.
00:08:44Did you understand, or should I explain it more slowly?
00:08:47Yeah.
00:08:48Yes, what?
00:08:49That I can only say yes and no.
00:08:51Amazing, you understand.
00:08:52Okay.
00:08:53Let's begin.
00:08:54My sister doesn't want you to tell me because the ship is going somewhere special.
00:08:57No.
00:08:58Because they're bringing something to the ship.
00:09:00Yeah.
00:09:00No.
00:09:01Yes and no.
00:09:01Because someone is coming to the ship.
00:09:03Yeah.
00:09:03Who?
00:09:04No.
00:09:04Okay, good boy.
00:09:06Is he a Capricorn?
00:09:08Don't know.
00:09:09Look, I'll leave you my phone and you can look it up on Google.
00:09:13That?
00:09:19No, it's not Capricorn.
00:09:21Okay.
00:09:23Well, that's it.
00:09:26That?
00:09:28Is Cristiano Noraldo coming on the ship?
00:09:30Damn, he nailed it.
00:09:31You're like the mentalist, but without the vest.
00:09:33What the hell is wrong with the patch?
00:09:34If he didn't want me to find out.
00:09:35Well, it backfired on him.
00:09:36Okay, here you go.
00:09:37What are you doing?
00:09:38Take.
00:09:38Leave it, leave it, leave it.
00:09:39Take!
00:09:39Anyone can take advantage of that ticket.
00:09:41A load of crap?
00:09:41If I don't go to Cuba, nobody will.
00:09:46What Salma?
00:09:47Oh my God.
00:09:48What's happening with Cuba?
00:09:55I hate my life!
00:09:56I hate my life!
00:09:57In other words, I strongly prefer death.
00:09:59Cuca no.
00:10:00Cuca no.
00:10:01Cuca.
00:10:02No, please, not Cuca.
00:10:04I am Cuca Pineda Federici de Castro de Padua.
00:10:07Very good, perfect.
00:10:08Shit!
00:10:09It's Cuca.
00:10:10Come on, take my suitcases up.
00:10:11What are you waiting for?
00:10:12So that little legs grow without a shank.
00:10:14Madam, from the name you used I gather you think I'm Chinese.
00:10:17But I'm more Catalan than a tower of Castilian.
00:10:20If you are Catalan and this is a macaroni necklace.
00:10:23Okay, what services do you offer?
00:10:25Well, we have all kinds of services.
00:10:26What's happening?
00:10:27Hey?
00:10:28Palmira told me to clean the fourth floor.
00:10:31Oops!
00:10:32Maybe he wasn't referring to this.
00:10:34It doesn't work.
00:10:35I've spent half my life escaping from the cops.
00:10:37The fact that?
00:10:38From the police.
00:10:39The fact that?
00:10:40Plasma, wood, Smurfs, boyfriends.
00:10:42But wait, what do you call the police?
00:10:44Dialing 112?
00:10:45Natalia.
00:10:47Alright.
00:10:48Alright.
00:10:49Come, pay.
00:10:50That girl over there can't see me.
00:10:53Which?
00:10:53The one with the 4,500 buck necklace?
00:10:56Yeah.
00:10:56She is one of my best friends.
00:10:57And he can't see me in a dress designed by a straight man because a woman has her dignity.
00:11:00Shit.
00:11:01That?
00:11:01Shit?
00:11:02Is he coming?
00:11:02Yeah.
00:11:03Yeah?
00:11:04How far?
00:11:12Yes, electric cart.
00:11:14The latest on the market.
00:11:16Here.
00:11:19Very edible thongs.
00:11:22Let's see what he knows.
00:11:26What's wrong with that?
00:11:27Ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, the edible ones are the ones below.
00:11:31Ah, okay.
00:11:33Oh, you're going to love my Gaby.
00:11:41Gabriel?
00:11:41Come in, Tere, your grabie isn't here.
00:11:44Look, Parmi, look what I've given my future husband as a gift.
00:11:48An edible thong.
00:11:50What do I say?
00:11:51I don't know why they don't make all clothes like this.
00:11:53The children of Africa would be well-dressed and would not go hungry.
00:11:56Oh, what a great idea, Tere.
00:11:57Why don't you patent it?
00:11:58Let's see if you do well in the Nobel Prize, daughter.
00:12:00Oh no.
00:12:01I don't smoke.
00:12:03I'm going to trim my eyebrows more because nobody likes finding hairs in their food.
00:12:07Oh, you don't know anything about gastronomy.
00:12:11I hope you get the girl's gift.
00:12:13Hello.
00:12:13Hello, Palmira.
00:12:14Yes, of course I have it.
00:12:16Let's see.
00:12:16Where did I put it?
00:12:17If I've left it somewhere.
00:12:19Yes, director, I was still looking for her.
00:12:21We have a problem.
00:12:22Which?
00:12:22I think we're going to have to move Cristiano to a different cabin.
00:12:24Because?
00:12:25I was securing the room.
00:12:26I removed the carpet to see if there were any microphones, and there weren't.
00:12:29But of course, now there's no ground either.
00:12:32Damn, what a scare.
00:12:33I thought Maria hadn't realized I was coming.
00:12:35No, that didn't happen.
00:12:37Come on, let's go.
00:12:38Go in peace, Marga.
00:12:39I have a miller of options for Olivia's gift.
00:12:42Damn it, Palmira, I have no choice.
00:12:44Well, because it's you and because she's your daughter, right?
00:12:46But you want to give your daughter something she'll really like.
00:12:48Give him something technological, which is what kids are into these days.
00:12:51Technology.
00:12:53Look at everything I have here.
00:12:54No, no, no, no.
00:12:54Hey, your car looks like Media Markt.
00:12:57Man, all this has fallen into the truck that goes inside the cargo ship, of course.
00:13:00So, do you want something or what?
00:13:01This?
00:13:01What is this?
00:13:02This is the best.
00:13:03The best thing ever.
00:13:04This is a tablet that has all the megapixels you can imagine.
00:13:09And the biggest gigabytes on the market.
00:13:10This downloads everything.
00:13:12Music, video games, and movies are downloaded.
00:13:14And if you take her, if you take her for more without laughing,
00:13:17I'm giving you this custom-made crocheted cover.
00:13:20Stop, stop, don't say any more, I'm taking her.
00:13:21It looks like a pain in the ass, he'll definitely like this.
00:13:24Hey, how much does this Etch A Sketch cost?
00:13:25Well, since it's you, I'll let you have it for 500 bucks.
00:13:28Because it's you, I'll give you 200, and if not, I'll tell Campillo.
00:13:32But you'll be a son of a...
00:13:33You're good, huh?
00:13:35I've come out Berber.
00:13:36Okay, then let's go!
00:13:36What a load of crap!
00:13:37He left my wallet on the bridge.
00:13:38Come with me and I'll pay you.
00:13:39Hey, I've got money for a credit card too, you know?
00:13:41No, no, no.
00:13:41No, better at home, yes, submerged.
00:13:43Where will it all end?
00:13:44Come on.
00:13:45Come on.
00:13:49Hey, this woman is always moving my things around.
00:13:57But to make sure everything goes perfectly, what needs to be done?
00:13:59Hey, why are we meeting?
00:14:02What are you doing here?
00:14:04I mean, what are you doing here?
00:14:06Instead of being on vacation, seeing the world.
00:14:09Take advantage of the fact that you have two eyes.
00:14:11Very funny, Margarita.
00:14:12We both know that that lottery was like a wallet's resume.
00:14:15Falcho!
00:14:16Okay, now you know.
00:14:18Give me your hand.
00:14:19Give me your hand.
00:14:20Do you notice anything?
00:14:21You don't notice anything, because it's not beating.
00:14:23Because it has broken my heart, sister.
00:14:25Did you know that Cristiano Ronaldo is my idol?
00:14:26Damn, I love him like crazy.
00:14:28It's like not telling you that Hitler is coming on the ship.
00:14:31That's exactly why, I don't want you to ruin it for me.
00:14:33Because bringing Ronaldo here has cost me a lot of favors.
00:14:36and say many, many times
00:14:37I'm envious of you because you're rich and handsome.
00:14:41Don't pretend to be the efficient director now, come on.
00:14:43A little immature.
00:14:44Well, at least I'm still Dad's favorite.
00:14:46Out on the street.
00:14:51You get annoyed because it's true.
00:14:52Well, I'm going to prove to you that I'm Daddy's little darling.
00:14:54something you will never be.
00:15:01Director, is it really necessary to post this?
00:15:04It must be made of a material that gives me allergies.
00:15:06Do you know what's really good for allergies?
00:15:08Seawater.
00:15:09Do you want me to throw you to the bottom of it?
00:15:11Want?
00:15:11Come on.
00:15:13Old.
00:15:13Where?
00:15:14Where?
00:15:14Where?
00:15:15What's wrong with you?
00:15:16Do you have conjunctivitis?
00:15:17Hey?
00:15:17No.
00:15:18Are you OK?
00:15:18You were laughing with the shovel.
00:15:22You see, boss, I'm not having a very good day today.
00:15:24I've been thinking that maybe I could go lie down
00:15:27and rest your eyes with some slices of cucumber.
00:15:29Look, I'd also like to spend some time with a cucumber.
00:15:32Ah, yes.
00:15:33Yeah.
00:15:33But I have to go clean Mr. Ronaldo's urinals.
00:15:36So, rubbing, what a gerund!
00:15:41But where are you going with those glasses?
00:15:43Ah, okay, okay, okay.
00:15:44Are you still going on about your friend...
00:15:47Little pearls.
00:15:48Yeah.
00:15:49Of course, you don't understand because you've always been poor.
00:15:51But I've been rich, you know?
00:15:53And if there's anything worse than being poor, it's people knowing it.
00:15:55That's why beggars don't have Facebook, right?
00:15:57So that people don't find out they're going hungry.
00:15:59Oh, well, I hadn't thought of that.
00:16:00Well, the point is that he can't see me like this.
00:16:02The dick.
00:16:03Why don't you let them finish their sentences?
00:16:05No, no, the dick, damn it, that's there.
00:16:06No no.
00:16:08Ah, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:16:12What are you doing?
00:16:13What are you doing?
00:16:13Cover me up.
00:16:16What are you doing?
00:16:26Nati?
00:16:30Cuca?
00:16:32Auntie, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt.
00:16:35What a surprise, aunt.
00:16:36You see, Auntie, but what are you doing here?
00:16:38A relaxing film.
00:16:40You see, I just needed to find myself.
00:16:42And I thought to myself, where better than on a cruise ship full of shops?
00:16:45Same as me.
00:16:46Spend it, because the visa is short.
00:16:48By the way, Nati, that's awful about your husband being in jail.
00:16:52Like the ETA terrorists.
00:16:54Don't worry, he's perfectly happy like this.
00:16:55That's what they called him with his friends at the country club.
00:16:57What are you like.
00:16:59I'm going to Gocita's hairdresser.
00:17:01I'm wearing some hair and a maid.
00:17:02See you later.
00:17:04What is it, what is it, what is it, what is it.
00:17:13That?
00:17:14Cooling off our armpits a little?
00:17:17Given that I saw a piece of fluff floating in the pool
00:17:19And I said, I'm going to take it out, I'm not going to do what, let's see if...
00:17:22I'm leaving, right?
00:17:23Either you leave or you wake up floating here.
00:17:26Go out with me!
00:17:35How wonderful to be all together and so comfortable, right?
00:17:37If we have to repeat it more often.
00:17:39Yes, it's a shame that your birthday only comes once a year.
00:17:43Do you want your gift, my love?
00:17:45Well yes.
00:17:48What is it, what is it?
00:17:52Tickets to see Zubi Meta.
00:17:54What a load of crap!
00:17:55But Zubi Zarreta is already retired.
00:17:57Hey, right?
00:17:59Zubi Meta is the best living orchestra conductor.
00:18:02Honey, I've gotten you two tickets in the front row of the Palau
00:18:05And then you'll be able to play the cello for a little while by yourself with him.
00:18:09Uh, no.
00:18:10Yes, me, you.
00:18:11Seriously, me, you.
00:18:12Yes, damn it, you're going to play!
00:18:15The thing is, your uncle is anxious.
00:18:17Because we want to give you gifts too.
00:18:19Or not, Mariano?
00:18:19Yes, well, I'll give it to you later.
00:18:21Anyway, life has already given you the best gift.
00:18:24Being an only child.
00:18:25And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to...
00:18:27Well, the truth is I don't have to go anywhere.
00:18:30It doesn't make a sound.
00:18:32My wonderful gift!
00:18:33You're going to love it.
00:18:34What is it?
00:18:35Not much happens, huh?
00:18:37No, it's just that now they're making them smaller and smaller.
00:18:38Now, you can fit everything you want and more in there.
00:18:40You'll see.
00:18:44Uh, edible underwear?
00:18:47No, no, no, but not that.
00:18:48This is not for you.
00:18:50No, I don't know, I don't know what could have happened to your gifts.
00:18:52I don't know, no...
00:18:53Gabriel, leave him alone.
00:18:55Oli, go away and put all this on your father's account.
00:19:00Ultimately, it's the closest thing to a gift you'll give her during her teenage years.
00:19:03No?
00:19:03What adolescence?
00:19:04But if not, no, no, he doesn't go out, he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he has no vices.
00:19:07That can't be healthy.
00:19:08The girl is very happy.
00:19:10Yes, just like you, the same.
00:19:11Look at the face he made when he saw the amazing gift his father gave him.
00:19:14It's a good thing you only give him something every ten years.
00:19:17Because?
00:19:18I'm.
00:19:19Oh, darling, come on, let's go, you'll have to rehearse for your concert, okay?
00:19:23Ah, Captain, what time would you like the party?
00:19:25What party, Palmira?
00:19:26Oh, sorry, I didn't realize his daughter was here.
00:19:29Wow, he really messed up.
00:19:30It was a surprise birthday party, I have a mailbox.
00:19:33Are you planning a surprise party for me?
00:19:37Clear!
00:19:38Clear!
00:19:39Clear!
00:19:39That's why the gift was cheap, right?
00:19:41To cover it up, of course.
00:19:42Yeah.
00:19:43Dad, what, I've never had a party?
00:19:44You've never had a party?
00:19:46So be careful, okay?
00:19:47Because I, at sixteen, was already called Deep Throat.
00:19:51Because I drank it all.
00:19:53Well, I think that was it.
00:20:00Look, I would take this from a Christian and make him sin so much.
00:20:04that instead of Christian he should be called Muslim.
00:20:07Damn, damn, damn the paparazzi, right, man?
00:20:09What a pack.
00:20:10They're desperate to catch Cristiano with someone.
00:20:12That's like having 20 jealous girlfriends.
00:20:15That would come to mind for me, Genia.
00:20:17That they caught him with me.
00:20:18Not to sleep with him, but to relaunch my recording career.
00:20:22But, Tere, darling, to relaunch your recording career
00:20:26First you'll have to throw it, right?
00:20:28And the captain?
00:20:29No, he doesn't have a recording career.
00:20:31No, no, no, Tere.
00:20:32What Josep says is
00:20:33What will the captain think about you being your boyfriend?
00:20:37if you hook up with a Christian.
00:20:40Oh no, Gaby lets me.
00:20:42It would be pure brainpower, pure professional interest.
00:20:45Parmi, come with me to see if I can find a Real Madrid nipple cover.
00:20:48Come on, let's go.
00:20:53Well, well, well.
00:20:55Meeting of ethnic minorities.
00:20:57What are you plotting?
00:20:59But you called us.
00:21:01Indeed.
00:21:01I have come to arrest you for the serious crime of
00:21:03to be a Barça fan.
00:21:06Oh, no, wait, wait, wait.
00:21:07Yes, yes, yes, it does sound familiar.
00:21:08I only took one subject called
00:21:09Invented Crimes 2.
00:21:13Very funny.
00:21:14The life of the greatest footballer of our era
00:21:17It depends on a single man, Ignacio Campillo.
00:21:19And that man is not a namesake of mine.
00:21:21No way.
00:21:22It's me.
00:21:23Let's see, Campillo, nobody is going to hurt Ronaldo.
00:21:25Nobody is going to hurt him, he says.
00:21:26That's exactly what someone would say.
00:21:28who wants to hurt him.
00:21:29Okay, okay, okay.
00:21:30So, to make you believe we won't hurt you
00:21:32We have to tell him that we're going to hurt him.
00:21:35Exact.
00:21:36Well, let's hurt him.
00:21:37Hey!
00:21:38I knew it!
00:21:39I'm going to take my eyes off us.
00:21:40The first phase begins at this very moment.
00:21:42of Operation Pinocchio.
00:21:44Pinocchio?
00:21:44Yes, it's an operation I've devised.
00:21:45to protect the child of Madeira.
00:21:49Gaby!
00:21:50Let me tell you something.
00:21:52I hate my sister.
00:21:52Damn, it's intolerable to get rid of me.
00:21:54I, who am his older brother.
00:21:55That I was born three minutes before...
00:21:57Hey, what hot chicks.
00:21:58I didn't catch you in the act, did I?
00:22:00No, damn it.
00:22:01I need to throw a birthday party for Olivia
00:22:03And I don't know what he likes.
00:22:04If you put into Google
00:22:0418-year-old girl, well, this is what you get.
00:22:06Okay, click on that video.
00:22:08Well, she likes toys.
00:22:09Look how the beers are coming in.
00:22:11Hey?
00:22:11That looks like a pocket in a pool table.
00:22:15But what are you doing, you pigs?
00:22:17No way, man, no way.
00:22:17I'm trying to organize Olivia's party,
00:22:19But I don't know what he likes.
00:22:20If it were up to me, well, you see,
00:22:21some small bottles of beer,
00:22:23an LP by Miguel Río,
00:22:24But I don't know what he likes.
00:22:25Don't know.
00:22:25I mean, your daughter likes a lot of things, man.
00:22:27He likes the cello,
00:22:28He likes documentaries,
00:22:29macrobiotic food,
00:22:30the books.
00:22:31Oh my God!
00:22:32It sounds exciting.
00:22:33Fear is the best 18th birthday party
00:22:35that you can imagine.
00:22:36Mine was.
00:22:39I don't really remember,
00:22:40because I went into an alcohol-induced coma,
00:22:41But according to witnesses at the trial,
00:22:42That was glorious, come on.
00:22:44I celebrated it with a brand,
00:22:45how are they going to have twins,
00:22:45And very well,
00:22:46drunkenness, wild party,
00:22:47until he finally escaped from the bathroom
00:22:48and he screwed everything up.
00:22:49How did the aunt slip through the window?
00:22:51We're having a legendary party
00:22:52with liters of alcohol,
00:22:53with great music,
00:22:54with laughing cigarettes,
00:22:55Damn right,
00:22:56of bars,
00:22:56friends.
00:22:57Uh, friends,
00:22:58Unless you put a wig on the cello...
00:22:59Well, if there are no friends,
00:23:00They are bought.
00:23:01Milk!
00:23:02I'm going to do whatever it takes.
00:23:03to give to my daughter
00:23:04the best gift a father can give.
00:23:05May she be happy,
00:23:06that she feels alive.
00:23:08It's going to be the best party of her life.
00:23:10Man,
00:23:10as if she's going to be the only one.
00:23:18Campillo!
00:23:19Ronaldo is about to arrive.
00:23:21Mariano,
00:23:21Don't even look at him.
00:23:22Don't even let him smell it.
00:23:23Come on,
00:23:23that he cannot ask for it
00:23:24not even in FIFA.
00:23:25We are?
00:23:25Don't worry, Madam Director.
00:23:26He's more of a Pro Evolution fan.
00:23:33Arrives!
00:23:34Arrives!
00:23:35Arrives!
00:23:42Fuck!
00:23:43And then there are the gypsies
00:23:44those of us who travel in droves.
00:23:46Oh my God!
00:23:47I am Margarita Santaella,
00:23:49director of Ancla Dois.
00:23:55Boss, boss, boss!
00:23:56You cannot be here
00:23:58and you don't know
00:23:58I feel sorry for them,
00:23:59but I for you
00:24:01I feel respect,
00:24:02But it's because of her sister
00:24:02I feel that
00:24:03I'm scared shitless.
00:24:05Come on.
00:24:05Look, man,
00:24:06Campillo,
00:24:06I'm looking at it!
00:24:07Oh, what a mess!
00:24:08Look at the cake
00:24:09there strutting around.
00:24:11It's not fair
00:24:12if until yesterday I said
00:24:12which had celebrated
00:24:13the golden ball
00:24:14like a monkey
00:24:15and if.
00:24:16Well, I like it.
00:24:17that he brought it
00:24:17because they join
00:24:18the two white things
00:24:19that I like the most,
00:24:20the Anchor Two
00:24:21and Madrid.
00:24:21Wow, putting them together!
00:24:22They largely agree
00:24:24in space-time.
00:24:25Putting them together would be
00:24:25that Cristiano Ronaldo
00:24:26the Anchor Dois will announce.
00:24:30Wow, Campillo!
00:24:31I am super gifted.
00:24:33Oh really?
00:24:41That's intense!
00:24:41I hadn't told you.
00:24:43Do you remember Pili?
00:24:44Yeah,
00:24:45because it has been
00:24:45to put to work
00:24:47secretary.
00:24:48Wow, that's intense.
00:24:48Like,
00:24:49Are you making photocopies of that?
00:24:51Well, that's so middle class.
00:24:53Well,
00:24:54This ship is for the middle class.
00:24:55Have you seen
00:24:56How is everyone doing with Cristiano?
00:24:57I can't stand it.
00:24:58She's tacky.
00:24:59Every time he enters
00:25:00in the city
00:25:01with his Lamborghini
00:25:01I was woken up by chihuahuas.
00:25:10Hey, Cuca,
00:25:11I'm going to the bathroom.
00:25:12that the little bubbles
00:25:13They gave me fizzy drinks.
00:25:14Oh!
00:25:24What a time!
00:25:25And your shopping cart?
00:25:26Hey?
00:25:26My cart?
00:25:29I left it behind.
00:25:30What day are you having?
00:25:31Look,
00:25:32I'm going to give you
00:25:32an invaluable piece of advice.
00:25:33There are two things
00:25:34without which you can't go out,
00:25:35the cart
00:25:36and the panties.
00:25:38Well, I'm not wearing panties either.
00:25:40I'm going for them.
00:25:46I'm here now.
00:25:47Oh, darling,
00:25:48Where do you come from?
00:25:49From being with Cristiano.
00:25:50Can you imagine?
00:25:51There was a long queue.
00:25:52In the bathroom.
00:25:53Look,
00:25:54It has been requested before
00:25:54a towel
00:25:55and she brought it to me
00:25:55that thing.
00:26:00Honey,
00:26:01Yes, you've lost your eyesight.
00:26:02No?
00:26:02What a wound!
00:26:03We need to protect ourselves
00:26:04of sunspots.
00:26:05I want one too.
00:26:07Here is the bill.
00:26:14162 euros.
00:26:16How much?
00:26:17162 euros.
00:26:19That?
00:26:21Cheap!
00:26:23He must have caught us.
00:26:25happy hour.
00:26:26My treat.
00:26:27My treat.
00:26:29Oops!
00:26:30What a silly head I have!
00:26:32Did I leave my wallet behind?
00:26:33Well, that's it.
00:26:34I'm going to start.
00:26:45Boss!
00:26:46Boss, no choice!
00:26:48Oh, no?
00:26:49How odd!
00:26:50Already?
00:26:51Can you give me 162 euros?
00:26:52And am I going to buy it?
00:26:53And why don't you go down
00:26:54to the warehouse
00:26:55And you get it for free?
00:26:56Also?
00:26:57Clear.
00:26:58Also.
00:26:59Go.
00:27:00I'm coming, I'm coming.
00:27:05Sure, count me in.
00:27:06You know I love them.
00:27:08Yes, yes,
00:27:08I'll call you when I arrive.
00:27:10Okay.
00:27:10Quis, quis.
00:27:11Bye, Tami.
00:27:14Cuca!
00:27:15Nati!
00:27:16What a fright!
00:27:19Hey, in the end
00:27:20I paid.
00:27:20I have a massage scheduled.
00:27:21four hands.
00:27:22I was in a bit of a hurry,
00:27:22you already know.
00:27:23No, but I was going to invite you.
00:27:24How silly!
00:27:25Don't worry, Tonti.
00:27:27You pay for the seafood platter
00:27:28And this happy night.
00:27:29The seafood platter.
00:27:31The seafood platter!
00:27:33See you later.
00:27:34Clear.
00:27:35What is it, what is it?
00:27:36What is it, what is it?
00:27:36What is it, what is it?
00:27:41Shit, this can't get any worse.
00:27:43Old woman!
00:27:43Go over here with the bleach.
00:27:45Even though that Christian...
00:27:46have the Ballon d'Or,
00:27:48what it shits
00:27:48It's not made of that material, exactly.
00:27:56Lord, Christian gift,
00:27:57I feel like the sauna
00:27:57not exactly
00:27:58at 80.51 degrees.
00:28:00that the steam was not
00:28:01mineral water
00:28:02and above all
00:28:02that my face bothered him
00:28:03staring at him
00:28:04through the small window.
00:28:05But it's my job.
00:28:10Attention,
00:28:10Pinocchio is leaving
00:28:11the building.
00:28:13Central, can you hear me?
00:28:14Yeah,
00:28:15But this is the room
00:28:16of machines.
00:28:19They are codes.
00:28:20Everything is calm.
00:28:21By the way,
00:28:22How does he do it?
00:28:223,000 sit-ups a day?
00:28:24I get lost.
00:28:24when I reach 25.
00:28:33Surely the Christian
00:28:34It's in here.
00:28:34because it smells like hair gel in here
00:28:35from the face that stinks.
00:28:36Oh yes, yes.
00:28:37Out there.
00:28:38Take me away, take me away.
00:28:38Like gummy bears
00:28:39that come out of the cake, daughter.
00:28:42Look,
00:28:43Listen to me,
00:28:44I go in,
00:28:44I'm going out with him
00:28:45And when we're getting involved,
00:28:47You take the picture of us,
00:28:48Okay?
00:28:48Perfect.
00:28:49Look,
00:28:49This is the button.
00:28:51Don't put
00:28:52where the little hole is
00:28:52if it doesn't come out
00:28:53the photo,
00:28:53You're black, huh?
00:28:54I'm not you, okay?
00:28:56Go on,
00:28:56give me the money
00:28:57I can't do it for you
00:28:58free, beautiful.
00:29:00Don't get angry, woman,
00:29:01me too
00:29:02I have to pay my mortgage.
00:29:03To the,
00:29:04cover yourself up
00:29:04and inside.
00:29:05Come on.
00:29:14Oh, Palmyra,
00:29:15You don't know how envious I am sometimes.
00:29:17the life of ordinary people
00:29:19He's like you.
00:29:19So comfortable there
00:29:20cleaning up the poop
00:29:21while we
00:29:22We bear the weight of the world
00:29:23on our shoulders.
00:29:25I'm going to have a sauna.
00:29:30I'd better leave.
00:29:33Oh,
00:29:34I've finally found you,
00:29:35Christian.
00:29:38Good night.
00:29:39Tasia is a bit harder, isn't she?
00:29:41I can't imagine
00:29:42It must be because of the heat.
00:29:43that softens.
00:29:44Oh,
00:29:44That heat doesn't soften me up.
00:29:46tutorial,
00:29:46that I have a
00:29:46kitchen
00:29:47that makes me
00:29:47very hard,
00:29:48like turkey bars.
00:29:49Look,
00:29:50by the hand here.
00:29:50Oh,
00:29:51Why are you going here?
00:29:52to take all the pichichi.
00:29:54Oh, yeah.
00:29:56What are you doing,
00:29:57pig?
00:29:58What are you doing,
00:29:58child,
00:29:59Are you stupid?
00:29:59What are you doing, Mariano?
00:30:00How dare you
00:30:01Are you trying to intimidate me?
00:30:02What am I, the bride?
00:30:03from your best friend?
00:30:04But, Teresa,
00:30:04I hadn't noticed.
00:30:05that it was you.
00:30:06Clear,
00:30:06How did you have that accent?
00:30:07so neutral.
00:30:08But, by the way,
00:30:09Speaking of Gabriel,
00:30:10Why did you love him?
00:30:10cheat?
00:30:11Hey?
00:30:12That?
00:30:12What does Mariano say?
00:30:13You're wrong,
00:30:14Hey?
00:30:15You're wrong.
00:30:16This is not love.
00:30:17This is my artistic career.
00:30:19Besides,
00:30:19a photo with Cristiano Ronaldo
00:30:21from there
00:30:22to stardom.
00:30:25How shameless!
00:30:26really.
00:30:27You wanted to take advantage of me
00:30:28of his image,
00:30:28Hey?
00:30:29Look,
00:30:29You disgust me.
00:30:30Disgust and pity
00:30:30and little else.
00:30:31Go on,
00:30:31strip,
00:30:31strip,
00:30:32You're lucky.
00:30:33Don't tell Gabriel.
00:30:34What a bird!
00:30:35Tere.
00:30:37What a great idea!
00:30:38Campillo,
00:30:39come here
00:30:40I'm going to explain a plan to you.
00:30:41Asinuative.
00:30:42But give me five minutes
00:30:44until my dick goes down.
00:30:46So what?
00:30:46Is it a code?
00:30:47No,
00:30:47It's literal.
00:30:50Phew!
00:30:50Phew!
00:30:51Phew!
00:30:51Phew!
00:30:52Phew!
00:30:53Phew!
00:30:53Phew!
00:30:54Phew!
00:30:54Phew!
00:30:54Phew!
00:30:54Phew!
00:30:54Phew!
00:30:55Phew!
00:30:55Phew!
00:30:55Phew!
00:30:56Phew!
00:30:56Phew!
00:30:57Phew!
00:31:00Phew!
00:31:05Phew!
00:31:06Phew!
00:31:07Phew!
00:31:07Phew!
00:31:08Let's see,
00:31:09Cristiano wants a bottle of water
00:31:11from the Flor Yolid spring.
00:31:12I'll put the tap in a glass, right?
00:31:14Yeah.
00:31:15Very good,
00:31:16The session is over.
00:31:18See you here tomorrow
00:31:19For the recording of Spop, huh?
00:31:21Cristiano needs time
00:31:23to learn his phrase.
00:31:24Yeah.
00:31:27I'm sorry, boss.
00:31:29This is a super restricted area,
00:31:30because it is very restricted,
00:31:31not because it's restricted
00:31:32the supervisor.
00:31:33Well, in this case too.
00:31:34It's a great area,
00:31:35super restricted.
00:31:36Boss, don't confuse me,
00:31:37that forms a lumpy mess.
00:31:38Campillo,
00:31:38My sister sent me
00:31:40that he gives to Cristiano
00:31:41he...
00:31:42is...
00:31:42this.
00:31:43Oil?
00:31:44Yeah.
00:31:44To rub on the muscles
00:31:46and let them shine.
00:31:46It's better than Photoshop.
00:31:47What is Photoshop?
00:31:48This is for retouching photos.
00:31:50Photoshop, yes.
00:31:51That makes sense.
00:31:52Come in, come in.
00:31:53Campillo,
00:31:53You're doing a good job, huh?
00:31:54No, don't leave the oil.
00:31:57Let's see,
00:31:57Leave us alone for a little while.
00:31:58Hello,
00:31:59how are you?
00:31:59Cris, how are you?
00:32:00Caches in the most,
00:32:01now.
00:32:02I am Maria Santella,
00:32:02supervisor,
00:32:03supervisor, head of Anchor 2.
00:32:04I admire you so much,
00:32:05But no, he doesn't want to.
00:32:06But from a Real Madrid perspective,
00:32:08that I am not a sissy.
00:32:09In fact,
00:32:09I was going to ask you for your phone number
00:32:10And it just happened because, well...
00:32:11Sorry,
00:32:11Can we know?
00:32:12What are you doing here?
00:32:13I am Maria Santella,
00:32:14supervisor, boss.
00:32:15And I wanted to propose to the star player
00:32:16that he make an announcement
00:32:17Anchor 2.
00:32:18From Anchor 2?
00:32:19Yeah,
00:32:20It was possible to negotiate.
00:32:21You already know
00:32:22that the base rate
00:32:22There are 800.
00:32:23Oh ok,
00:32:24Well, nothing.
00:32:24I'm more than fine.
00:32:25I give you a thousand
00:32:26And so the boy
00:32:26He enjoys working there.
00:32:28Yeah.
00:32:30800,000 euros.
00:32:34Clear,
00:32:35clear,
00:32:36Yeah,
00:32:36It is viable.
00:32:36Well,
00:32:37I need to talk
00:32:37with the bank.
00:32:37Now that the weekend is here
00:32:38in between
00:32:39See you Monday.
00:32:40Very good.
00:32:40Oh well,
00:32:40Call my secretary
00:32:41and we specify,
00:32:42OK?
00:32:43Christian.
00:32:44800,000,
00:32:45But Dad,
00:32:46What will they want?
00:32:46The scoundrel.
00:32:57Palmeira,
00:32:58We have 200 euros
00:32:59for Olivia's party.
00:33:00What do we do?
00:33:01Don't get overwhelmed
00:33:02that I don't have everything under control.
00:33:03The food too
00:33:03I'll take care of it now
00:33:04I saw you from Tiri.
00:33:05And you,
00:33:06Take care of the drinks
00:33:07which is softer.
00:33:08No,
00:33:09but,
00:33:10Oh.
00:33:10Oh,
00:33:11how beautiful.
00:33:12Yeah,
00:33:12TRUE?
00:33:13And have you glued them on?
00:33:14one by one?
00:33:14No,
00:33:14No,
00:33:15They are not glued.
00:33:16They're not glued together,
00:33:17Palmyra,
00:33:17please,
00:33:18that's quite a lot of stuff
00:33:19doing all this
00:33:20as if that weren't enough
00:33:20I threw the pyramid.
00:33:21I didn't bring myself to ...
00:33:22reading glasses.
00:33:23Ah,
00:33:23Well, look,
00:33:23excellent.
00:33:24More work for me,
00:33:25No?
00:33:25You're kidding me.
00:33:27No,
00:33:27No,
00:33:27No,
00:33:27the cart,
00:33:28Palmyra.
00:33:28Wait,
00:33:29wait,
00:33:29that we are preparing it.
00:33:30That one's for my daughter.
00:33:31be quiet.
00:33:32By the way,
00:33:32Can you close this for me?
00:33:33the bar tonight?
00:33:34It's already closed.
00:33:35Thank you so much,
00:33:35kid.
00:33:36No,
00:33:37for Cristiano.
00:33:37No,
00:33:37man,
00:33:38No,
00:33:38Fuck Cristiano.
00:33:38Already,
00:33:39Pussy,
00:33:39I agree,
00:33:40I'm here waiting.
00:33:40in case the Portuguese
00:33:41wants a juice
00:33:42grapefruit with lemon,
00:33:43without the grapefruit pulp,
00:33:44but with the lemon pulp.
00:33:46What a plan.
00:33:47I was thinking,
00:33:48Perhaps someone in authority,
00:33:51You know what I mean?
00:33:53They can change your shift,
00:33:54change of...
00:33:54100 turkeys.
00:33:5572.50.
00:33:56Made.
00:33:57And can you get me something?
00:33:59to liven up the party?
00:34:01It refers to...
00:34:03What are you saying?
00:34:04kid,
00:34:04kid?
00:34:05I'm talking about drinks.
00:34:06No,
00:34:06No,
00:34:06me too,
00:34:07I was talking about...
00:34:09Well,
00:34:10don't worry,
00:34:10I'll take care of it.
00:34:11and I rewarded all the brands
00:34:12and calm
00:34:13which will be accounted for
00:34:14from a Portuguese colleague of mine.
00:34:16Wait,
00:34:16wait,
00:34:16brilliant,
00:34:16one thing,
00:34:19Do you do drugs?
00:34:22I don't,
00:34:23I don't,
00:34:24No,
00:34:24No,
00:34:25No.
00:34:26And you?
00:34:27I?
00:34:28But,
00:34:28No?
00:34:29No?
00:34:29No,
00:34:31and now?
00:34:38Look,
00:34:39look,
00:34:39It's not for nothing,
00:34:39but the party
00:34:40It turned out perfectly.
00:34:41The truth is that
00:34:42There were more people in my boat.
00:34:43At least when we go out.
00:34:45You keep quiet
00:34:45Don't sink me,
00:34:46Pussy.
00:34:47I had no money
00:34:48to pay more people
00:34:48otherwise I'll run out of money
00:34:49for tonight's gambling.
00:34:51Let's see,
00:34:51Hey!
00:34:52Let's give a round of applause to our colleague!
00:34:53Come on,
00:34:54We are here,
00:34:54come on.
00:34:58Is this my party?
00:34:59dad?
00:35:00Eight people?
00:35:01Well,
00:35:01then it might come
00:35:02one and a half more,
00:35:04probably.
00:35:05Hey?
00:35:05What else?
00:35:07Well,
00:35:07I'm going to say hello,
00:35:08Okay?
00:35:09Gabi,
00:35:09one little thing,
00:35:10to your little girl
00:35:10It's not that it's missing a tree,
00:35:11It's because you didn't light the fire.
00:35:13Be quiet,
00:35:13go on,
00:35:14be quiet,
00:35:14I don't...
00:35:14Gabriel.
00:35:17This Catering
00:35:18It's Cristiano's.
00:35:19What are you saying?
00:35:19But you,
00:35:20What nonsense are you talking about?
00:35:20Don't you see that it says here?
00:35:21Cristiano anywhere?
00:35:22It says Olivia here,
00:35:23very clear,
00:35:24Look at it.
00:35:24Well,
00:35:25And you think you
00:35:25that your daughter
00:35:26He's going to like it
00:35:26this drinking session
00:35:27from the third to the fourth?
00:35:27Of course he's going to like it,
00:35:28because underneath
00:35:29I'll show you
00:35:30that you have built,
00:35:31Hey?
00:35:32There's a little one
00:35:32that I am sure
00:35:33that he/she would like to be
00:35:34like Maggie Cyrus is.
00:35:35Is Magie Cyrus that tacky woman?
00:35:36who likes to spend
00:35:37a wrecking ball
00:35:38Through the hole?
00:35:40Does that do it?
00:35:40That's what it does.
00:35:41Well,
00:35:42It remains the same.
00:35:42Olivia,
00:35:43that your mother is leaving now,
00:35:44that all day
00:35:45Cristiano and above,
00:35:45Cristiano down
00:35:46It's sold out.
00:35:46So that's normal.
00:35:47menopause.
00:35:49Well, be careful.
00:35:49with menopause,
00:35:50Hey?
00:35:51Because it gives you
00:35:52many mood swings.
00:35:56See you later.
00:35:57Bye.
00:35:59Gabriel,
00:36:00the girl soon
00:36:01Off to bed, huh?
00:36:03Nephew,
00:36:04the envelope,
00:36:05What a great gift!
00:36:06I hope you like it.
00:36:07Oh,
00:36:08It wasn't necessary,
00:36:09man.
00:36:10Let's see,
00:36:11It's worth turning a blind eye.
00:36:13from the chief supervisor.
00:36:15Thank you.
00:36:17For any kind of screw-up,
00:36:18You're telling me.
00:36:19and as if nothing had happened.
00:36:21Well,
00:36:21Campillo asks me for them,
00:36:22come on,
00:36:22in groups of 10,
00:36:23Hey?
00:36:23Dear,
00:36:24Enjoy it,
00:36:24You deserve it.
00:36:25Well,
00:36:27This is what has been said
00:36:29a proper party,
00:36:30TRUE?
00:36:30That,
00:36:31do you like it?
00:36:31Well, that's it.
00:36:31You're already enjoying it,
00:36:33establishes relationships,
00:36:34have something to drink,
00:36:34Turn it back,
00:36:35shit.
00:36:35Yeah,
00:36:36hey,
00:36:36You're right,
00:36:37I'm already 18 years old
00:36:38And it's time to ask me
00:36:41a light drink with lemon.
00:36:42A little something for Heidi,
00:36:43please.
00:36:44Let's see,
00:36:44Put a cash jean on the little girl.
00:36:46No,
00:36:46No,
00:36:46No.
00:36:47What do you mean, no?
00:36:47Put him in a pair of cash jeans,
00:36:48I'm telling you,
00:36:49possess it.
00:36:50So,
00:36:51Shall I put you on
00:36:52Or should I not include you?
00:36:56Yeah.
00:37:08Congratulations,
00:37:10birthday girl.
00:37:12Is it good?
00:37:13Excellent.
00:37:17Man!
00:37:18My trusted men,
00:37:19Here they are.
00:37:22My dynamic duo,
00:37:24my cipi zape,
00:37:24my forres and buba,
00:37:25sit down,
00:37:26please.
00:37:27Well,
00:37:28I've had a brilliant idea
00:37:29that will change
00:37:30the becoming
00:37:31of this cruise.
00:37:33We're going to do
00:37:34an advertisement
00:37:35from the ship
00:37:35Starring...
00:37:37Chenoa!
00:37:37No,
00:37:38Pussy,
00:37:38Chenoa no.
00:37:40Starring
00:37:41Cristiano Romelo.
00:37:42Oh really?
00:37:43I can't believe it,
00:37:44He has done it.
00:37:45You're a star!
00:37:47There is nobody here
00:37:48Tell him no.
00:37:49Well,
00:37:50He told me no.
00:37:51That's why we're going to do
00:37:51ads without
00:37:52Cristiano Ronaldo
00:37:52realize it.
00:37:54But,
00:37:54But wouldn't it be better?
00:37:55Use a double?
00:37:56A double,
00:37:56Don't be cheap,
00:37:57mother.
00:37:57A double sings
00:37:58to the mischievous,
00:37:58there is nobody
00:37:58as big as him.
00:37:59No,
00:38:00Well,
00:38:00Can I count on you?
00:38:01yes or no?
00:38:02Yeah.
00:38:04Yeah.
00:38:07I can't, boss,
00:38:08and refuse his desires
00:38:09It hurts me more
00:38:10that the rumors
00:38:10that Van Damme is gay,
00:38:11But the orders
00:38:12from the director
00:38:13They have been very clear.
00:38:14My sister told you
00:38:15expressly,
00:38:16Campillo,
00:38:16Don't let Mariano
00:38:18Make an announcement
00:38:19with Cristiano Ronaldo
00:38:20for the Anchored.
00:38:21Not explicitly,
00:38:22but it is implied,
00:38:22It's implied.
00:38:23And isn't it obvious?
00:38:23which would be good
00:38:24that Christian did
00:38:25An advertisement for Anclados?
00:38:26And what about my sister?
00:38:28doesn't want the best
00:38:28for this ship?
00:38:29And isn't that less true?
00:38:30that he would get angry
00:38:31if you prevented me
00:38:32do something good
00:38:33for the boat?
00:38:33And we can't conclude
00:38:35that my sister
00:38:36he ordered you
00:38:36It's that you didn't stop me
00:38:38make an announcement
00:38:38with Cristiano Ronaldo
00:38:39For the Anchored?
00:38:40Yes or no?
00:38:43It's true.
00:38:44And I am
00:38:45disobeying
00:38:46that order.
00:38:47I'm so sorry, boss.
00:39:02Good evening, ma'am.
00:39:03Good night.
00:39:04Natalia?
00:39:05But what are you doing here?
00:39:06Damn, what a face, huh?
00:39:07You're like...
00:39:08How do you want me to be?
00:39:10If Cuca has insisted
00:39:11where he invites her for a seafood feast
00:39:12And what for, anyway?
00:39:13If she's going to vomit it up later.
00:39:15Yes, yes, yes.
00:39:17Well, I...
00:39:17Yes, yes, of course, of course.
00:39:19Then I would recommend
00:39:20the house specialty.
00:39:22Macaroni with tomato sauce.
00:39:23Yes of course.
00:39:25Macaroni.
00:39:25And then we threw
00:39:26to the one with the ponytail,
00:39:27Didn't I tell you?
00:39:27Okay, kid.
00:39:29Take note.
00:39:30Yes, yes.
00:39:31We're going to take
00:39:32oysters,
00:39:34eels,
00:39:35barnacles,
00:39:36the best champagne
00:39:37that you have
00:39:38and a little bit of caviar.
00:39:39Just like for snacking,
00:39:40seem to you?
00:39:41Anything else?
00:39:42No, no, no, no.
00:39:44No, no, no.
00:39:44It's fine for two people.
00:39:46Come on.
00:39:48Come on.
00:39:51How much have I eaten?
00:39:52I'm going to make room
00:39:53For dessert, huh?
00:39:56Bring it.
00:39:58How much is it going to cost me?
00:39:59The joke?
00:40:02Oh ok,
00:40:03It's not so bad.
00:40:03No, no, no.
00:40:04This is just the lobster.
00:40:05This is the total.
00:40:06If you'll excuse me,
00:40:07I'm going to jump overboard.
00:40:09No, no, no.
00:40:09Wait, wait, wait.
00:40:10Wait here.
00:40:11I have a better plan.
00:40:12Which?
00:40:13Let's do the trick
00:40:14with whom we ate for free
00:40:15in my communion.
00:40:16And not just anywhere, mind you
00:40:18In a Chinese restaurant.
00:40:21Phew,
00:40:21What horrendous bathrooms.
00:40:27Although, of course,
00:40:28The bathrooms are horrendous.
00:40:29that has to be
00:40:30suffering your forest.
00:40:32Has he already raped her?
00:40:34I don't know, Cuca.
00:40:36Of these things
00:40:36I don't count them.
00:40:39Well, not even that,
00:40:40nor about his accounts
00:40:40in his life.
00:40:41How funny you are.
00:40:44Come on, honey,
00:40:44than from the nineties,
00:40:45if now what they wear
00:40:46They are the alligators.
00:40:47While they're whitewashing
00:40:48your money,
00:40:48You get a tan.
00:40:50Marracando the desserts
00:40:51more expensive
00:40:53of the letter.
00:40:53At last.
00:40:54I really wanted to
00:40:55to eat...
00:40:58Cute.
00:40:59How cute, Cuca.
00:41:01If you don't bring cookies.
00:41:02Cute.
00:41:03Cockroach cutie.
00:41:04Cockroach cutie.
00:41:05Aid.
00:41:06Aid.
00:41:06Do you remember?
00:41:07Cuquitada.
00:41:08Relieve.
00:41:08There isn't a cockroach.
00:41:10I'm going to embarrass you.
00:41:11I've got you covered in cockroaches
00:41:12in the car.
00:41:13I'm so sorry.
00:41:14I don't know what could have happened.
00:41:15OK?
00:41:16Sure, I imagine
00:41:17who are very angry
00:41:18And that they won't want to...
00:41:18No, we don't want to.
00:41:19a dessert with little bugs.
00:41:20We are not Mexican.
00:41:21No,
00:41:21I'll take the plates with me.
00:41:22But what am I saying?
00:41:23which also
00:41:23I'm going to keep track of the account
00:41:25because they won't want to pay,
00:41:27say.
00:41:27Hey?
00:41:27Ah, of course.
00:41:29Of course we're not going
00:41:30to want to pay.
00:41:31Let's go, Cuca.
00:41:33Let's go.
00:41:34Oh, oh.
00:41:38Where did you get it from?
00:41:39a cockroach that fast?
00:41:40You still
00:41:40It hasn't been your turn
00:41:41Clean the kitchens, right?
00:41:42Come on, shoot.
00:41:45Vita, bug.
00:41:49Reception, tell me.
00:41:51Yes that's fine.
00:41:51The masseur
00:41:52for Cristiano Ronaldo
00:41:53in half an hour.
00:41:54It's contracted, hasn't it?
00:41:57That's what Messi said.
00:41:57It doesn't happen to him.
00:41:58Uh, uh, no, nothing,
00:41:59I haven't said anything.
00:42:00He'll be there on time.
00:42:02Paco,
00:42:03massage for Cristiano Ronaldo
00:42:04in half an hour.
00:42:07Capillo,
00:42:08Capillo, come here.
00:42:10Cristiano Ronaldo
00:42:11She asked for a massage.
00:42:12This is our opportunity
00:42:13to make the announcement.
00:42:14Clear.
00:42:15What a great idea.
00:42:16This is our opportunity.
00:42:17Our big opportunity.
00:42:19Because?
00:42:20Why is this our opportunity?
00:42:22Fuck,
00:42:22because we caught him relaxed.
00:42:23You're going to pretend
00:42:24by the masseur
00:42:25and when I'm off guard
00:42:26We recorded it.
00:42:28AND?
00:42:28Because you know how to give massages, right?
00:42:29Clear,
00:42:30I once gave her a chenoa
00:42:31on one foot,
00:42:31Wow!
00:42:32She loved it.
00:42:33Well,
00:42:34was asleep.
00:42:34When he woke up
00:42:35He threw an ashtray at me.
00:42:36Look,
00:42:36I have the mark here.
00:42:37She's pretty, isn't she?
00:42:39Perfect.
00:42:39I'll be in at two.
00:42:40and I pretend
00:42:41By Ronaldo's masseur, huh?
00:42:42I kiss him
00:42:43and I take the picture.
00:42:44Very good.
00:42:45Let go of the guitar.
00:42:47But if you want to become famous
00:42:48really,
00:42:49Why don't you do it?
00:42:49A Boris Becker?
00:42:50Becker?
00:42:51Clear.
00:42:52Ah,
00:42:52That's the one with the cookies, right?
00:42:53The Prince of Becker.
00:42:55What does that have to do with it?
00:42:56for me.
00:42:56The woman a Boris Becker
00:42:57the tennis player.
00:42:58Don't you remember?
00:42:59that there was a
00:42:59who did a job for him
00:43:01absorption?
00:43:02He picked up the chest,
00:43:03She put it in the freezer,
00:43:04a few days later
00:43:05he put it inside
00:43:05And what a mess!
00:43:07And is that possible?
00:43:08Parmi?
00:43:08And why didn't he swallow it?
00:43:09Would he have stayed
00:43:09Same in Barrasa?
00:43:11Go on, daughter,
00:43:12You focus on the photo.
00:43:13We'll talk later, okay?
00:43:25Holy God, Gabriel,
00:43:27It smells like a thrift store.
00:43:28I wish they were one,
00:43:29That would mean
00:43:29that I'm dead
00:43:30And that way I wouldn't see you.
00:43:31Get up,
00:43:32rise from the rubble.
00:43:34Get up.
00:43:36Have you seen Olivia?
00:43:37who hasn't slept
00:43:37in the cabin?
00:43:38Maybe I didn't want to.
00:43:39that a one-eyed man looked at him.
00:43:42It was worth it.
00:43:43Okay, fine.
00:43:45Get up, scab.
00:43:46Come on, we have
00:43:47to set sail
00:43:47and we arrived late
00:43:48Because of you.
00:43:49I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.
00:43:50Come on.
00:43:51No way!
00:43:59Fuck.
00:44:01But let's see where
00:44:01has gotten involved
00:44:01silly fool and idiot.
00:44:08Hey, here!
00:44:09You guys have some nerve.
00:44:10Damn, you're.
00:44:10Walk the gun around
00:44:11through the body.
00:44:13Okay, fine.
00:44:15There's the masseur.
00:44:16Obama,
00:44:17your mission
00:44:17It's to distract him.
00:44:19You make it up
00:44:19a lie
00:44:20rather long.
00:44:21And good.
00:44:24Okay, boss.
00:44:27I let myself go
00:44:28due to impatience.
00:44:29Obama,
00:44:29your new mission
00:44:30It's about hiding the masseur.
00:44:31Come on.
00:44:32Oh my God.
00:44:33My God.
00:44:35Go ahead,
00:44:36He hides from you,
00:44:36He's coming, he's coming.
00:44:38Capillo.
00:44:39The future of the ship
00:44:40It's in your hands.
00:44:41I trust you.
00:44:43Good morning.
00:44:46I am your masseuse.
00:44:48Start undressing.
00:44:53Very good.
00:44:54This is how it goes.
00:44:56And that's it.
00:44:59My face might look familiar to him.
00:45:00I have a twin brother.
00:45:01on the ship.
00:45:01He is the head of security.
00:45:02A tall crack,
00:45:03handsome,
00:45:04I bet.
00:45:04I say this as a straight person,
00:45:05that I'm straight,
00:45:05even if he's a massage therapist.
00:45:06He is too.
00:45:07Hetero,
00:45:08not a masseur.
00:45:08He is the head of security.
00:45:09I've already told him.
00:45:11Well,
00:45:11lie down.
00:45:12Let's begin
00:45:12with an ancestral technique.
00:45:14A little bit of wax.
00:45:16Wax polish.
00:45:17A little bit more wax.
00:45:19Wax polish.
00:45:25That is.
00:45:25Very good.
00:45:26Very good.
00:45:27No,
00:45:28don't worry.
00:45:28That means we're done.
00:45:29to run over
00:45:30a family of dolphins.
00:45:31Poor things.
00:45:37Hello Cristiano Ronaldo.
00:45:39I am a professional massage therapist.
00:45:41I make happy endings.
00:45:43It's like Disney,
00:45:45but with the mouth.
00:45:47Campillo?
00:45:48Tere,
00:45:49What's going on here?
00:45:50This is crazy.
00:45:51Nothing,
00:45:52it's no big deal,
00:45:52Mr. Christian.
00:45:53What are you doing?
00:45:54You can't be here.
00:45:55You can't be here.
00:45:55Security?
00:45:56At your service.
00:45:57Shit.
00:45:58Everything has an explanation.
00:45:59We were there this morning
00:46:00and...
00:46:01But what does it do?
00:46:02The chapel attendant and the idiot?
00:46:03I'm so impatient,
00:46:04boss.
00:46:05Well,
00:46:05come on,
00:46:06let's go,
00:46:06I think I have it.
00:46:07Okay,
00:46:08come on.
00:46:09Oh,
00:46:09wait.
00:46:10I'm going to be charged.
00:46:13There were loose ends.
00:46:15Sorry,
00:46:15Obama.
00:46:16Come on,
00:46:17little water,
00:46:17little water,
00:46:17let's go.
00:46:20Well.
00:46:30Nati.
00:46:33Nati.
00:46:34Nati.
00:46:38Nati.
00:46:41Nati.
00:46:42Boss.
00:46:43Well, this is where I happen to be.
00:46:44cleaning a little.
00:46:45I see,
00:46:46already.
00:46:46And what are you cleaning with?
00:46:48With the doormat?
00:46:49Hey?
00:46:50Ah,
00:46:51She says it because of the bikini.
00:46:52Well,
00:46:53That's how I take advantage
00:46:54and I get a little tan.
00:46:55I've seen mimes
00:46:56with better color than me.
00:46:58Ask,
00:46:58Marita,
00:46:59I don't care.
00:46:59that you're in a bikini
00:47:00and trikini or in a maritrini,
00:47:01But I want this cover.
00:47:02spotless and radiant
00:47:03in less than an hour.
00:47:05Understood?
00:47:06I'll leave the car here.
00:47:12Thank you so much,
00:47:13Ray.
00:47:13Would you mind taking this?
00:47:14Yeah,
00:47:15clear.
00:47:15And will I put some cream on you too?
00:47:16Or what?
00:47:17Hey,
00:47:17No,
00:47:17But if you can bring me
00:47:18some macaroni,
00:47:19That way I have something for dinner.
00:47:20Go on,
00:47:20Natalia,
00:47:21that you have fallen very low.
00:47:22Already,
00:47:22already,
00:47:22Ray,
00:47:22I know.
00:47:23I have nuts for dinner.
00:47:24frigo vatares
00:47:25and I wash my hair
00:47:26with the fire left over from the day.
00:47:27No,
00:47:27no,
00:47:28I say this because of this party
00:47:29that you're riding,
00:47:29not because I work as a cleaner.
00:47:31My own mother
00:47:31It was getting dazzled
00:47:32in midlife
00:47:33cleaning houses.
00:47:33Ah,
00:47:34She was a maid too.
00:47:35No,
00:47:35He stole it,
00:47:36but to get ahead
00:47:37to his family,
00:47:37not like others
00:47:38who lived
00:47:39from scrap metal
00:47:39of their husbands.
00:47:40Oh,
00:47:41But Nati,
00:47:42Karim,
00:47:43What are you doing talking?
00:47:43with the cockroach shepherd?
00:47:47By scolding him,
00:47:49Hey?
00:47:49You,
00:47:50come on,
00:47:50to collect cardboard boxes.
00:47:52Gypsy,
00:47:53come on.
00:47:57What is it, Gypsy?
00:47:59That's all we needed.
00:48:00Disgusting.
00:48:01Look,
00:48:02I'm that Cosmopolitan guy.
00:48:03I don't take it.
00:48:04Let's see if I can get it
00:48:05hepatitis C.
00:48:07Oh.
00:48:24What's going on here?
00:48:25Morbillo has been donated.
00:48:26The Anchor 2
00:48:27It's a cruise.
00:48:29Yeah!
00:48:31What is this shit?
00:48:34Man,
00:48:35It's Cristiano Ronaldo
00:48:36Announcing Anchor 2.
00:48:37It looks cheap.
00:48:38because it's the first assembly,
00:48:39Loam,
00:48:39But this,
00:48:39with some filters
00:48:40and some summer music,
00:48:42Imagine it there.
00:48:42It's Ronaldo,
00:48:43It's Ronaldo,
00:48:44It's Ronaldo.
00:48:45Let's see,
00:48:45I have to sign up
00:48:46to classes for mongoloids
00:48:47so you understand me.
00:48:48Do you think Cristiano
00:48:49Are you going to try this garbage?
00:48:50Let's see,
00:48:51He wasn't very happy,
00:48:52oh well,
00:48:52taking into account
00:48:53that we electrocuted him,
00:48:54well...
00:48:54That?
00:48:55Was it you?
00:48:55That?
00:48:56Mariano,
00:48:57who has fired a masseur.
00:48:58Let's see,
00:48:58let's see,
00:48:59Loam,
00:48:59sometimes on film sets
00:49:00an accident occurs,
00:49:01at least
00:49:01Cristiano Ronaldo
00:49:02He is still alive.
00:49:03You don't appreciate that.
00:49:04Look,
00:49:04You have meningitis,
00:49:05Are you going to apologize to him?
00:49:06on their knees,
00:49:07one way or the other,
00:49:07You lick his ass,
00:49:08I don't care.
00:49:09But if he sues us,
00:49:10I'll kill you.
00:49:11Yes,
00:49:12yes.
00:49:12Let's see if what bothers you is
00:49:14I have an ad
00:49:14with Cristiano Ronaldo
00:49:15and you don't.
00:49:17But what are you doing?
00:49:18Asshole!
00:49:20Well, I'm sorry,
00:49:21boss,
00:49:23because seeing the Portuguese star
00:49:24announcing the ship
00:49:25It would have been like...
00:49:27how to see the Spanish flag
00:49:28sinking into the cloth.
00:49:29It was so close.
00:49:31I could already see my father
00:49:32taking Marga out
00:49:32of the will.
00:49:34But not,
00:49:34It will be my turn
00:49:35erase some of the correction fluid.
00:49:36Anyway,
00:49:36To me, he even seemed
00:49:37more rolled up,
00:49:37as always
00:49:38with his charitable works
00:49:39there, dedicating goals
00:49:40to sick children.
00:49:44Campillo.
00:49:46Campillo,
00:49:46I love you!
00:49:48Unless, of course,
00:49:49seem to you.
00:49:50Even though it sounds like something gay.
00:49:51Child.
00:49:53Child,
00:49:53child,
00:49:54child.
00:49:55How much?
00:49:56Frigopias
00:49:56Would you shave your head?
00:49:59Because he already has it.
00:50:00very long.
00:50:04Dad,
00:50:05I swear
00:50:05that I don't have
00:50:05nothing to do with it
00:50:06with the Ronaldo thing.
00:50:08Hey?
00:50:09Ah,
00:50:10nothing,
00:50:10nothing,
00:50:10that has been cut
00:50:11very short hair
00:50:11and he makes a face.
00:50:14Okay.
00:50:15That?
00:50:16Olivia what?
00:50:18Okay.
00:50:19Okay,
00:50:20Yeah,
00:50:20a hug.
00:50:21No,
00:50:21No,
00:50:21who got laid
00:50:22Is the hair longer here?
00:50:22I think it was you.
00:50:23Hello.
00:50:24Hello.
00:50:25Out.
00:50:26See you later.
00:50:28Hey,
00:50:28Have you spoken?
00:50:28with your daughter?
00:50:29Talk?
00:50:30Words cannot express it.
00:50:31Loam.
00:50:31There's been a kind of connection,
00:50:33You know?
00:50:33I've re-established the connection
00:50:34with her.
00:50:35I could tell you
00:50:35we're doing better than ever.
00:50:36It's been one thing...
00:50:37How beautiful.
00:50:38Well,
00:50:38now that you have
00:50:39synchronized your rules,
00:50:40Can you tell me
00:50:41where do you pour it?
00:50:41Is your daughter there?
00:50:42He just called me
00:50:43my father
00:50:43to tell me
00:50:44that I haven't arrived
00:50:44to his house.
00:50:45Oh, no?
00:50:45No.
00:50:46Well,
00:50:46I don't know,
00:50:47I don't know where he could be.
00:50:48He'll be on his own,
00:50:49Leave her alone.
00:50:49You know?
00:50:50Hey,
00:50:50Loam,
00:50:50That's enough.
00:50:51Dad.
00:50:51Hang on a minute,
00:50:52daughter,
00:50:52I'm talking to your...
00:50:54What the hell are you?
00:50:55What are you doing here?
00:50:55Olivia,
00:50:56Why aren't you here?
00:50:56with grandpa?
00:50:57Because?
00:50:59Oh, God,
00:50:59I think this
00:51:00That's what you call them
00:51:01Here, huh?
00:51:01Brilliant.
00:51:02That's what happens
00:51:03when you have a father
00:51:03who doesn't care about you
00:51:04and let yourself be taken
00:51:05a drunken stupor.
00:51:06But you don't realize it
00:51:06that the girl today
00:51:07I knew Zubin Meta,
00:51:09the best director
00:51:09of the world orchestra
00:51:10and that he's missed out
00:51:11Because of you.
00:51:12That's better.
00:51:13Look,
00:51:13Yeah,
00:51:14She needs to listen
00:51:15Margarita things
00:51:15of his age.
00:51:16You have to listen
00:51:17One Direction,
00:51:18to Rihanna or whoever.
00:51:19Not the music
00:51:20this revelatory
00:51:20that he is trying
00:51:21you put it in your head.
00:51:21What are you saying?
00:51:22I like it
00:51:23Iron Maiden,
00:51:25This is not my dream,
00:51:26which is hers.
00:51:27She's the one who has
00:51:28the excitement of meeting him.
00:51:29She's been around for years
00:51:30waiting for this moment
00:51:30And you've screwed it up for him
00:51:32to destroy his liver.
00:51:33Loam,
00:51:35He didn't drink that much either.
00:51:36Okay?
00:51:36Look,
00:51:37If you were a good father,
00:51:38you would try
00:51:39to understand it
00:51:40and not because of changing it.
00:51:41No.
00:51:44Fuck,
00:51:46And you owe me some shoes.
00:51:48And expensive ones at that!
00:51:49Come on.
00:52:01Okay, champ,
00:52:02We have to do it really well.
00:52:03to get the signature
00:52:04by Cristiano Ronaldo
00:52:04and that way he won't sue the ship.
00:52:06Those are grown-up things.
00:52:07Well,
00:52:08come on,
00:52:08Here they come.
00:52:09Make a face of pain.
00:52:10I don't see any pain there.
00:52:12Further.
00:52:12God,
00:52:12What nullity.
00:52:13Do you want me to pinch you?
00:52:14There,
00:52:14very good,
00:52:15Okay.
00:52:15Fuck,
00:52:16that leave,
00:52:16what I do?
00:52:19Oh,
00:52:21excuse me,
00:52:22excuse me,
00:52:22that child who insists
00:52:23in pushing himself alone
00:52:24And of course,
00:52:24In its current state, no.
00:52:25It does not measure force.
00:52:27He's a big fan of yours.
00:52:27You know?
00:52:28His greatest dream
00:52:29It's seeing you win
00:52:30the next Ballon d'Or,
00:52:31as if that were ever going to happen.
00:52:32No,
00:52:33I mean the Ballon d'Or,
00:52:34I mean the child.
00:52:35This,
00:52:35It's broth.
00:52:36Take,
00:52:37a signed ball
00:52:38throughout the entire team.
00:52:39But man,
00:52:39That is signed by Arbelo A.
00:52:41Sign me here instead.
00:52:42Yeah,
00:52:43No,
00:52:43Yeah,
00:52:43Yeah.
00:52:43The thing is
00:52:44if it washes out,
00:52:47You can sign here,
00:52:48since you're here.
00:52:49Okay.
00:52:50And here,
00:52:51Okay.
00:52:52And here,
00:52:54Okay.
00:52:55And here,
00:52:56It's for the whole plant
00:52:57of dying children.
00:52:58What a pity,
00:52:59by the cicos.
00:52:59Here,
00:53:00up and down.
00:53:01Okay,
00:53:02Thank you, Cristiano.
00:53:03You are a wonderful person,
00:53:04really.
00:53:07Thank you, Cristiano.
00:53:08You're a star too.
00:53:09as a person.
00:53:10Not like you
00:53:10that it's very loose.
00:53:11Oh well,
00:53:12I have the signature
00:53:13of the resignation
00:53:14and a signed ball too.
00:53:16And I have the shirt.
00:53:17Give me the shirt.
00:53:19Give me the shirt.
00:53:20Hey,
00:53:20shit, kid
00:53:21the one she's assembling.
00:53:22Give me the shirt.
00:53:24No ma'am,
00:53:25I'm freaking out too.
00:53:25who doesn't want to give me the shirt.
00:53:26And what do I pay for that?
00:53:28Give it to me.
00:53:28Hey,
00:53:29Yes, you.
00:53:29You've done me a favor.
00:53:30When will it end?
00:53:30that they do that to you?
00:53:31What should they make the t-shirt?
00:53:33Josep?
00:53:34At his feet,
00:53:34director,
00:53:35What can we offer you?
00:53:35Can you tell me
00:53:36Why do we have land?
00:53:37To port?
00:53:38There can be no land to port.
00:53:39To the other port side.
00:53:40To starboard?
00:53:41To the right,
00:53:42Pussy,
00:53:42to the right.
00:53:43Okay,
00:53:43I'll take care of it.
00:53:45Listen,
00:53:46Yeah,
00:53:46sorry.
00:53:48You see,
00:53:48the iPhone 7
00:53:49from Mr. Ronaldo
00:53:49He says we drifted apart
00:53:50from Barcelona.
00:53:51That can't be possible.
00:53:52Yes, yes,
00:53:52He already has number 7.
00:53:54But please,
00:53:54Can you explain?
00:53:55What's going on?
00:53:57Well, right now
00:53:57I can't tell you
00:53:58what is happening,
00:53:59But I assure you
00:54:00that in two hours
00:54:00Mr. Ronaldo
00:54:01It's going down
00:54:02in the port of Barcelona.
00:54:03Thank you so much.
00:54:06Dear passengers,
00:54:07The captain is speaking.
00:54:08Due to a severe hangover,
00:54:10we are forced
00:54:11to return to the port of Valencia,
00:54:12where tonight
00:54:13all those
00:54:13who are interested
00:54:14will be able to attend
00:54:15to a fabulous concert
00:54:17classical music
00:54:17in charge of the director
00:54:18Zubir Meta
00:54:19at the Palau de la Sartre.
00:54:21Thank you so much.
00:54:22I'll kill him.
00:54:23I'll kill him.
00:54:24I'll kill him.
00:54:24I'll kill him!
00:54:26I'll kill him!
00:54:30He doesn't play badly.
00:54:31This guy,
00:54:32Pablo.
00:54:32My name is Paco.
00:54:36I'll kill him!
00:54:39Open up, you idiot!
00:54:41Bullshit!
00:54:43Are you listening to this?
00:54:44It's Zubir Meta!
00:54:45And in two hours
00:54:46She's going to be with your daughter.
00:54:47No no.
00:54:48The one who has to be
00:54:49in two hours
00:54:50at Camp Nou
00:54:51It's Cristiano Ronaldo.
00:54:53You know
00:54:54what can happen to us
00:54:55If it doesn't arrive!
00:54:56What do I know, damn it?
00:54:57that Real Madrid will lose the league
00:54:57more in my favor.
00:54:58No, you
00:54:59You lose your penis
00:55:00because I
00:55:01I throw it into the propellers.
00:55:02Change course now!
00:55:05No!
00:55:05I wouldn't change it!
00:55:09Open!
00:55:10Open!
00:55:11Listen, is this steel?
00:55:12Carlos?
00:55:13Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:55:14I'm terrified too.
00:55:16What are you doing?
00:55:17Nothing.
00:55:18Looking
00:55:19They are all there
00:55:20expired fire extinguishers.
00:55:21Already.
00:55:22Let me speak
00:55:23I'm with him.
00:55:24Go away!
00:55:25crazy bitch!
00:55:26Dad, open up!
00:55:27Oh, excuse me,
00:55:28daughter,
00:55:28that's not you.
00:55:29Get the hell out of here!
00:55:30It wasn't you,
00:55:31which was a...
00:55:31It's a fly
00:55:32who wants to go out and doesn't...
00:55:33Come in, come in.
00:55:34Get out, baby!
00:55:35Carlos, Carlos!
00:55:36For your father!
00:55:37Carlos!
00:55:38Carlos, damn it!
00:55:39How are you?
00:55:40Paco!
00:55:40Carlos!
00:55:40Let me through, Paco!
00:55:43Dad, this is crazy!
00:55:44No, no, not this.
00:55:45This is not crazy,
00:55:45This is a gesture.
00:55:47Look, daughter,
00:55:48I accept it, okay.
00:55:49I'm shit
00:55:50As a father, okay?
00:55:51But it's my fault.
00:55:52You don't stay
00:55:53without the opportunity
00:55:53of your life,
00:55:54It's over.
00:55:55Dad, same
00:55:56I've missed my chance,
00:55:57Yeah,
00:55:58But I've won a night
00:55:59with my father
00:55:59And I don't regret it.
00:56:01Well, maybe.
00:56:02that Ginkgo
00:56:03I'm not trying it again.
00:56:04But, Dad,
00:56:06yesterday's events
00:56:07I wouldn't change it.
00:56:08no reason.
00:56:10Really?
00:56:16Hey, Olivia,
00:56:17look,
00:56:18since we're on the subject
00:56:20here opening up...
00:56:21What the hell are you saying?
00:56:22Can't you hear anything here?
00:56:23Be quiet.
00:56:24Shut up.
00:56:26Strip,
00:56:27change course
00:56:27Back to Barcelona again.
00:56:28Come on.
00:56:30Paco!
00:56:31I know you can hear me!
00:56:33You're going to fart!
00:56:35Further!
00:56:36And this is the claim
00:56:37from the chef
00:56:38and this,
00:56:39the captain's
00:56:39for changing course
00:56:40And this one is for aesthetics.
00:56:41Only 30 complaints.
00:56:43Okay, fine.
00:56:43if he thinks a little more
00:56:44We'll definitely finish the vlog.
00:56:47How rude!
00:56:49Well, I'm going to put you
00:56:50a claim
00:56:50for you too.
00:56:51Because of that impertinent little Chinese boy.
00:56:52Give it one more.
00:56:53There's a cleaner
00:56:54that he's going to tell her a few things.
00:56:56Oh, Nati,
00:56:56What a fright!
00:56:58But...
00:56:59What are you doing in disguise?
00:57:00poor?
00:57:01It's not a costume,
00:57:02cuca.
00:57:04It's my uniform.
00:57:07I am a cleaner.
00:57:08But how can you be a maid?
00:57:09What if you're not Filipina?
00:57:15Wow!
00:57:16I'm serious.
00:57:18Yeah.
00:57:20I'm serious.
00:57:22Clean,
00:57:23mud
00:57:23and rub
00:57:24because I prefer to move forward
00:57:25by myself
00:57:26that I'll be a kept woman
00:57:27who lives off the flatbed...
00:57:29of her husband's visa.
00:57:31And if,
00:57:33I smell like a dirty rag
00:57:34and clean seagull droppings.
00:57:35But at least
00:57:36My life is no longer a lie.
00:57:40Not like other women's cheekbones.
00:57:43Come on, pose!
00:57:45I'll take your picture.
00:57:46Then those from the golf club
00:57:48They don't believe me.
00:57:49If you do it right,
00:57:50I'll give you a tip.
00:57:53Come on!
00:57:54My suitcases!
00:57:56That's intense!
00:57:56When you tell the urban story!
00:57:59No, if in the end
00:58:00it's going to turn out
00:58:00you have the balls
00:58:01so well placed
00:58:02like shit.
00:58:02Be quiet!
00:58:03Be quiet!
00:58:03That I had no awareness
00:58:04until I met you.
00:58:05I'm just kidding, Natalia.
00:58:07Hey,
00:58:07I'm very proud of you.
00:58:10Almost as much as
00:58:11when Kevin
00:58:11He built his first bridge
00:58:12to a police officer.
00:58:14Oh really?
00:58:16Thank you.
00:58:19The Fus Fus thing
00:58:19Just kidding, okay?
00:58:21To be honest...
00:58:24I hate you!
00:58:25I've had such a high!
00:58:26to Facebook!
00:58:28He can't have it anymore!
00:58:2920 likes!
00:58:3039
00:58:3147
00:58:3352
00:58:46What's going on here?
00:58:48It's having...
00:58:48The Anchor 2
00:58:50It's a cruise.
00:58:51Yeah!
00:58:54And for this mistake
00:58:55You're taking my cake
00:58:56that there was already a boat.
00:58:57Go on, Mariano,
00:58:57Give me the remote.
00:58:58Well yes.
00:58:58Indeed,
00:58:59Dear employees,
00:59:00Cristiano Ronaldo
00:59:01It's the new image
00:59:02Anchor 2.
00:59:02And it's free.
00:59:03And all thanks to whom?
00:59:04Mariano.
00:59:05Indeed.
00:59:06Mariano Santaella.
00:59:07The Menda.
00:59:09At first
00:59:09Nobody believed in me,
00:59:10But thanks to me...
00:59:10Fuck!
00:59:12Palmyra,
00:59:12What kind of temperament do you have?
00:59:13Pussy?
00:59:14And what about you?
00:59:15What do you have to tell me?
00:59:16of my spot?
00:59:17Well, what do I think?
00:59:17boorish,
00:59:18tacky,
00:59:19cheap,
00:59:19tasteless,
00:59:20coarse,
00:59:21rude,
00:59:23bungler...
00:59:23Did I get it?
00:59:24Cheap,
00:59:24chavacano,
00:59:26clumsy...
00:59:26In one word,
00:59:27colon.
00:59:28Mariano.
00:59:29Very good.
00:59:30But just so you know
00:59:31that I have the signature
00:59:31by Cristiano Ronaldo
00:59:32and according to this document
00:59:34cannot sue
00:59:35to no one who works
00:59:36at Anchor 2,
00:59:36including black,
00:59:37the Chinese man and the gypsy.
00:59:38Let's see.
00:59:41Well,
00:59:42Well, if I fire you
00:59:42You are no longer a worker
00:59:43From Anchor 2, right?
00:59:44Well,
00:59:44But you can't.
00:59:44Say goodbye, right, Marga?
00:59:45Oh no!
00:59:46Man,
00:59:46You can,
00:59:47But you don't want to,
00:59:47because I am your brother,
00:59:48Hey?
00:59:49It's your brother Marianuco!
00:59:50Cuca de Cedrici
00:59:51from Castro de Padua
00:59:53charged with money laundering
00:59:53in the Cayman Islands.
00:59:55Hey,
00:59:55Do you have something?
00:59:56What does all this have to do with?
00:59:57She will have more surnames,
00:59:59But I'm more of a badass.
01:00:01As?
01:00:02As?
01:00:02No no,
01:00:02Wait, wait.
01:00:03Hey.
01:00:05Campillo,
01:00:06my friend,
01:00:07none of this
01:00:07It would have been possible without you.
01:00:09So
01:00:09I have a gift.
01:00:10Look
01:00:11what it has given me
01:00:12Cristiano Ronaldo
01:00:13for you.
01:00:14No, no, no,
01:00:16no, no, no, no.
01:00:17I.
01:00:22I.
01:00:23I.
01:00:24If it is signed
01:00:25It's near Arbeloa.
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