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00:02When it came to her divorce, Lynette Scavo was determined to make things go smoothly.
00:09So when Tom was late to pick up the kids, she waited patiently.
00:14When he got something in the mail, she held on to it.
00:20And when he left behind something important, she brought it to him.
00:26Yes, after years of fighting had led her nowhere, Lynette decided to take the high road.
00:32Lynette!
00:33Oh, hey Greg!
00:34Hey, coming by to see the new offices?
00:36I bet I could get the CEO to give you a private tour.
00:39Wait a second, I am the CEO, I know I could.
00:41No thanks, I'm just dropping something off that Tom forgot at home.
00:45Oh wow, my ex wouldn't bring anything by for me unless it was ticking.
00:50So, how's everything going with your separation?
00:54I'm guessing you know the answer to that, having been there.
00:56It's been two years since my divorce and it still sucks.
00:59You know, it might not be my place to say it, but I think Tom's nuts for letting you go.
01:04That's very sweet.
01:05So are you seeing anyone?
01:07That's the little nosy.
01:09Sorry, I'm just saying, if you ever wanted to have a drink and vent with somebody who gets it, I
01:13would gladly be that person.
01:14Okay, sweet again, but I think that might be a little weird with you being Tom's boss.
01:18Yeah, you get that. I just wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't ask.
01:21But never worry if you're going to be okay with that.
01:24You will. You are the exact kind of woman that most men out there are looking for.
01:32Well thanks, I always liked this picture of us.
01:35You're welcome.
01:36Oh hey, I'm off on Friday, so we can leave early for the cabin.
01:39Ah, bad news. I checked the weather up there. It looks like rain this weekend.
01:43So? I wasn't seeing us spending a lot of time outdoors.
01:47I think we have a little horizontal to catch up on.
01:52It's kind of been a while, hasn't it?
01:53Well, I guess, with the work and everything.
01:56A cabin. The rain. A bed. It's going to be a good weekend.
02:11Yes, Lynette had tried hard to take the high road in her divorce.
02:17Hey, Greg.
02:20That drink, I'd actually enjoy that.
02:22But sometimes, the low road was easier to find.
02:29Carlos Solis was used to sitting in a position of power.
02:34Whether it was behind the wheel of a powerful car.
02:39At the head of a power lunch.
02:43Or at the helm of a powerful company.
02:49But now that Carlos Solis had started a new career,
02:53he suddenly found himself in a much humbler place.
02:57So, what do you think of my new office?
03:02Okay, I'll admit it's a little bit on the bare bones side.
03:04Are you kidding?
03:05All you need is some yellow tape and a noose hanging from the ceiling
03:08and you'll be ready to entertain.
03:10I like it, Daddy.
03:12Thank you, baby.
03:13Aw, that's so sweet.
03:14You're lying to spare your Daddy's feelings.
03:18Seriously, honey, there's a guy down at the department store
03:20who dresses all the windows.
03:21Maybe he could spruce it up.
03:22Spruce it up?
03:23Gabby, we can barely keep the lights on here.
03:26Our budget is tiny and every cent goes towards helping addicts,
03:29finding them jobs, housing...
03:30Okay, okay, save it for the pamphlet.
03:32All I'm saying is if I was an addict,
03:34rooms like this are why I shoot up in the first place.
03:37Okay, behave, listen to your Daddy.
03:40I'll see you tonight.
03:41Whoa, whoa, whoa, I can't take the girls to school.
03:43You always take them.
03:43I have to go to work early today.
03:45Well, I'm at work right now.
03:47Carlos, how much do you make an hour?
03:49Twelve dollars.
03:50I just made twelve dollars listening to you.
03:51Tell me you make twelve dollars.
03:52Gabby, come on.
03:54This job is very important to me.
03:55I'm doing very meaningful work.
03:56You should be proud of that.
03:57Well, when we can pay our mortgage and meaningful, I will be.
04:05Hey, buddy.
04:06How was school?
04:07Okay, I'm starving.
04:09Can I have some cookies?
04:10Sure.
04:12Didn't you like the turkey sandwich I made you?
04:14Not really.
04:15I tried to trade it to John Gurry for a book about worms,
04:19but he backed out because you used too much mayo.
04:22Sorry.
04:23I didn't realize the worm kid was such a gourmet.
04:27What's this?
04:29Nothing.
04:30But your school's having a soapbox derby.
04:32Yeah.
04:32Well, that sounds like so much fun.
04:34It's for dads and sons.
04:41Yes.
04:42But it doesn't say moms can't do it too.
04:45That's okay.
04:45I don't have to do it.
04:47Besides, it's in three days.
04:48Oh.
04:50That's really soon.
04:51I guess we should get started.
04:54Oh, come on.
04:55I don't want you to miss out on all the fun.
04:57Mom, you can't make a car.
04:59What makes you say that?
05:00Because you can't even make a turkey sandwich.
05:04Well, thank goodness I have the most talented partner.
05:07Now, come on.
05:08We're wasting time.
05:09Let's get hammering.
05:13Seriously?
05:13You're telling me you're against the death penalty?
05:16I've just seen too many cases where the wrong person gets convicted.
05:20Not my clients, of course.
05:22I just think our society's gotten too soft.
05:24We need a powerful deterrent to stop these killers.
05:27You do realize you're not on trial for a parking ticket, right?
05:31Kidding.
05:32I'm just trying to lighten the mood.
05:34Tomorrow's going to be fine.
05:36It's just a pre-trial hearing.
05:37Yes, which brings me one step closer to the real thing.
05:40So what exactly will we be doing at this hearing?
05:43You will sit there and look classy and innocent.
05:47I will try to get as much of their case tossed as I can.
05:50And your success rate at this sort of thing is?
05:53Impressive.
05:54I once defended a woman who ran a brothel.
05:57At the pre-trial, I got the whole thing reduced to operating a business without a fire door.
06:03That's terrible.
06:04What?
06:04What, me being a great lawyer?
06:06No, defending a prostitute.
06:08Call me old-fashioned, but I find that line of work rather distasteful.
06:11So if she ran a cigarette company or manufactured handguns, she's A-OK.
06:16But selling men a little ring-a-ding makes her a pariah.
06:18Okay, first of all, ring-a-ding?
06:20Mm-hmm.
06:21Second, sex isn't a commodity.
06:23It's sacred.
06:24Yeah, I'll say.
06:25And for this woman, sacred costs 400 bucks a pop.
06:28Can we please stop talking about it?
06:29It's tawdry.
06:30And that little crack about manufacturing handguns?
06:33I hope that doesn't mean you're anti-gun.
06:35I've sued the NRA three times.
06:37It is my dream to one day take those sons of bitches down.
06:40Well, when it comes to my guns, you're going to have to pry them out of my cold, dead hands.
06:45Guns?
06:46Plural?
06:47What, is that so you can coordinate your firearms with your shoes?
06:52You and I are never going to agree on anything, are we?
06:56This salad kind of sucks.
06:57I agree.
06:59Not with the language, but with the observation.
07:05I have never met anyone who can pull off a cape like you, Mrs. Duncan.
07:08And this is our last one, so I'm not letting you leave here without it.
07:14Uh-oh.
07:15Another stray from the land of elastic waistbands.
07:18Avert your eyes, I'll get rid of her.
07:20Hello, dear.
07:22You must have taken a wrong turn.
07:23Sensible shoes are one floor down.
07:25No, actually, I'm looking for a personal shopper.
07:27I need help.
07:30Okay, um...
07:36You're welcome.
07:39Oh, champagne.
07:40Oh, no, no, no.
07:41This is just for high-end customers.
07:43And me.
07:44My husband's an alcoholic, so I can only drink at work.
07:47I'm looking to freshen up my wardrobe.
07:50I haven't bought new clothes in quite some time.
07:53I understand.
07:54Fixed income?
07:54No.
07:55My rich husband was a stingy son of a bitch.
07:58And now he's toes up, I am ready to spend.
08:03Who was your husband?
08:04William Hammond.
08:05As in the Hammond Theatre?
08:06Mm-hmm.
08:07And the Hammond Hospital?
08:08Yep.
08:08And the Hammond Library?
08:09So you've heard of him.
08:11Are you kidding?
08:12I've been to shows in that theatre.
08:13I've given birth in that hospital.
08:15And I went into that library once for directions.
08:17Oh.
08:18Well, sit down while I pull you some clothes.
08:21There you go.
08:22Oh, thank you.
08:23Oh, honey.
08:24Look at that cape.
08:26That looks interesting.
08:29Give me that.
08:30You look like Batman.
08:36And for the reception, I was thinking of a jazz band.
08:40Wouldn't that be cool?
08:41Yeah, I like jazz.
08:42But if you're interested in a little traditional Australian music,
08:46I know this guy plays a badass didgeridoo.
08:50Jazz it is.
08:52Okay, we've done enough.
08:54Let me clean this up and then we can go upstairs for a preview of our wedding night.
08:59Oh, now you're talking.
09:00I'll grab some wine.
09:02I know this might surprise you,
09:03but I actually have a few moves saved up for my first night as Mrs. Ben Faulkner.
09:09It's not that I don't believe it.
09:10I just can't imagine what's left.
09:15Oh, yeah, that's just some business stuff that I need to take.
09:17No, it's a subpoena.
09:20You're on the witness list for Bree's trial?
09:23Why?
09:24Beats me.
09:25I think they made a mistake.
09:28Kind of a coincidence, though.
09:30The cops questioning you about that body they found on site
09:32and then Bree getting arrested for killing the guy?
09:38Ben, don't lie to me.
09:39I can handle anything you tell me, just as long as it's the truth.
09:44Um...
09:45Listen, Renee, let's just drop this, okay?
09:47No!
09:48I'm about to become your wife.
09:50You want to keep a secret about touching another boy's didgeridoo at summer camp?
09:54Fine.
09:54But not about a murder.
09:59Holy crap.
10:01I'm right.
10:03Tell me what's going on or I'm walking out of this house.
10:06You're gonna need to let me think about it.
10:10I don't believe this.
10:13My, uh...
10:13My first husband kept secrets for me.
10:16And it ended our marriage.
10:18I'm not going down this road again.
10:29Gabby, why is there an old lady sitting at our dining room table?
10:32Do you have any idea who that is?
10:34I think my generic reference to her as old lady kind of says I don't.
10:37She's Doris Hammond.
10:39As in Hammond Investments.
10:40Ring any bells?
10:41Bill Hammond's widow.
10:43Guy made a killing in private equity.
10:44Why is she here?
10:46She's my best customer down at Cumberly's.
10:48I think mostly because she sees me as her friend.
10:50So you thought you'd exploit that.
10:52Invite a lonely widow to dinner, pretend she's your friend, just to make money off of her.
10:57Exactly.
10:57Gabby, can't I just take my plate upstairs?
10:59I'm exhausted.
11:00You're exhausted.
11:01I had to watch a 20 minute iPhone video of her cat taking a nap in a laundry basket just
11:05to sell her a coat.
11:05Now get out there.
11:07Lose your top button and look pretty.
11:11Doris, I can't get over how lovely that jacket looks on you.
11:15Isn't it lovely, Carlos?
11:18Yeah, it's great.
11:21I almost had a heart attack when I saw the price.
11:24I guess I just have to get comfortable with the idea of spending money.
11:27That's right.
11:28And tomorrow when the new fog line comes in, we're going to get you real comfortable.
11:33So, Carlos, what is it you do?
11:36I work for a non-profit that helps recovering addicts.
11:45Oh, I'm sorry.
11:46Was Carlos talking about his charity?
11:48Good thing we weren't operating heavy machinery, huh Doris?
11:51You'll have to excuse my wife.
11:53Not the biggest fan of what I do.
11:56Oh, that's silly.
11:58Philanthropy is very important.
12:00My bill gave generously to many worthy causes.
12:04Okay, we're going to keep talking about charity.
12:06I'll make coffee.
12:07We're going to need it.
12:11Boy, Bill left quite a legacy.
12:14Have you ever thought about carrying that on?
12:15Oh, I'd love to, but I wouldn't know where to begin.
12:20Maybe I could help.
12:23So my ex's lawyer says,
12:24we believe it's fair for Mr. Lyman to pay an additional $1 million.
12:29And I said, and this is how my mouth always gets me in trouble.
12:32So that comes out to what?
12:34About a dollar a pound?
12:37Oh, man.
12:38And the judge?
12:39Not abused.
12:40Which is why I wound up paying an additional $2 million.
12:44Oh, Tom and I are going to try to do this without lawyers.
12:48Huh.
12:49What does that mean, huh?
12:50We've known each other 25 years.
12:52We have kids together.
12:52That's great.
12:53It's all great.
12:54But there is another person involved.
12:57Jane.
12:58And trust me, she is going to be in his ear the whole time about the settlement.
13:01By the way, I do not get the attraction there.
13:05Well, let's save that topic for another night.
13:07We could do hours on that one.
13:08Another night?
13:09So this is going pretty good.
13:10Yeah, it's been great.
13:12Well, okay.
13:13We should do it again.
13:13About Saturday night.
13:17This Saturday is bad.
13:19Tom needs me to switch weekends because he's going away with...
13:22Jane.
13:24Well, it would be kind of a shame if some last-minute stuff came up at work and he wasn't
13:29able to go.
13:30Yeah.
13:30I guess that would mean he wouldn't have to switch weekends and that would free you up for Saturday.
13:35Did I get that calculus right?
13:38Are you saying in order to get a date with me, you'd mess with Tom?
13:42Don't think of it so much as messing with Tom.
13:44Think of it more as messing with...
13:47Jane.
13:51Oh my God, it's staying together.
13:53How long is this race?
13:55Three minutes.
13:56Three minutes?
13:57This could totally stay together for three minutes.
13:59Can I go now?
14:00Oh!
14:01I was going to have you help me put on the wheels.
14:03No thanks.
14:04Juanita found a dead squirrel, so I kind of want to check it out.
14:08Well, of course.
14:10Got to see the dead squirrel.
14:13Only touch it with a stick.
14:14No fingers!
14:16You blown off for a dead squirrel?
14:18Boy, does that bring back memories.
14:21New hobby?
14:22Oh, MJ and I are building this soapbox thingy car for the school's big race.
14:28You should get Tom to help.
14:29He did it with all our boys.
14:30That's how they learned to swear.
14:32Oh, that's okay.
14:33I'll figure it out.
14:34I am telling you, he loves this stuff.
14:36I'm going to give him a call.
14:37Oh, thanks.
14:38But I really think it's better if I do it myself.
14:41But Tom can just...
14:42Tom is not going to be around all the time.
14:48I'm sorry.
14:49I mean, you know what I mean.
14:50I do.
14:51Since Tom and I split, I know how hard it is to be both mom and dad.
14:55But I also know it's okay to ask for help.
14:59No, I can do this.
15:01I have to.
15:02And you know what?
15:03I think it's going to turn out great.
15:16You always move your lips when you read?
15:18Do you always comment on everything that bugs you about me?
15:20I haven't said a word about your tie.
15:23Okay, we're here for discovery, compliance, and trial setting.
15:27Ms. Stone, Mr. Weston, you've exchanged witness lists?
15:30The people have no objection to Mr. Weston's list.
15:32Mr. Weston, any objections?
15:35That depends.
15:35Who are the gentlemen from number 16 to 28?
15:39I've never heard these names before.
15:41Your client has.
15:42They're men she met at a bar, brought home, and had sex with.
15:47This is ridiculous.
15:49Your Honor, the defense will argue that there's no suggestion of a relationship between Ms. Vandekamp and Mr. Sanchez, that
15:55she never even met him.
15:56Because she hadn't.
15:57Some of these men will testify that she was so intoxicated during their time together that she didn't remember anything
16:02about the liaison.
16:04Suggesting that she could have slept with Mr. Sanchez.
16:08So under Ms. Stone's forgetful slut theory, you can connect my client to any man in Fairview?
16:15Well, not every man in Fairview ended up with the defendant's fingerprint on his shirt.
16:19But Mr. Sanchez did.
16:23Your Honor, the idea that my client would conduct herself in that manner is absurd.
16:29She is a paragon of virtue in the community.
16:32A champion of conservative values.
16:39Sure recess, Your Honor?
16:42Brie.
16:44Brie, is this true?
16:45Did you sleep with Ramon Sanchez?
16:47No.
16:49But the other men?
16:52How the hell could you not tell me this?
16:57All right, okay, this is okay as long as we can stay in front of it.
17:01Um, I need to know exactly who you slept with and when.
17:06Are you kidding me?
17:08No.
17:10Brie, if I'm going to defend you, I need to know the truth.
17:13I'm sorry, but I can't talk about this with you.
17:24Gabby?
17:25Doris, you won't believe what just got off the plane.
17:28The most beautifully embroidered Chinese silk.
17:30And if you listen to it carefully, you can hear little children asking,
17:33When's dinner?
17:35I'm going to have to stop you right there.
17:37Okay, a little insensitive, my bad.
17:39No, I've had a change of heart and I can't buy anything more from you.
17:43In fact, I need to return these.
17:45What? You can't, I work on commission.
17:47I mean, you love these clothes.
17:49Did you know that one of these scarves could buy a month of vocational training for a homeless addict?
17:56No, but that sounds awfully familiar.
17:58It was in the pamphlet that Carlos slipped me last night.
18:01He did what now?
18:02And we talked on the phone this morning and he reminded me of what my husband used to say.
18:07That those that do well must also do good.
18:10Mm-hmm. That sounds like Carlos.
18:12He's a very special guy.
18:15Hold on to him.
18:18Mm-hmm.
18:19Well, now that you mention it, I can't wait to get my hands on him.
18:22Do you have any idea how much commission I stood to make from this lady?
18:24Gabby.
18:25Doris was my golden goose.
18:26I was fattening her up and then you went and stole all her eggs.
18:30And I don't know where this metaphor is going, but I am mad at you, mister.
18:33Gabby.
18:33No, stop gabbing me. I will not be gabby'd.
18:36Look, where Doris puts her money is her decision.
18:39Tomorrow morning, nine o'clock, she's putting it here.
18:43Okay, you don't have to be so smug just because you're doing charity.
18:47No quotation marks.
18:48I'm actually doing charity, helping people get their lives together.
18:51And I'm helping people put their wardrobes together. Potato, potato.
18:55I gotta run to a meeting.
18:56Now we're in the middle of an argument.
18:57Yeah, but it's no fun to argue when only one side is morally defensible.
19:01But you know what is fun?
19:02A little victory dance.
19:05Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
19:14Okay, it took me all night, and I scraped off two of my knuckles, and I drank so much green
19:19tea that one of my eyes won't stop twitching.
19:21But it's finished.
19:29Okay, before you say anything, I designed the flame decals myself, so if you don't like them, they're totally removable.
19:37Personally, I like them. I think they're awesome.
19:39And there's a basket on the back for sundries or snacks or thumbtacks to throw under the competition's tires.
19:46But why would you need to cheat with a car like this, right?
19:50Are you gonna say something?
19:52Oh, I get it. You hate the basket.
19:54Guess what? Basket gone.
19:58Oh, come on.
19:59Oh, come on. I've been doing this for two days straight. You gotta give me something.
20:04I love it.
20:05You do?
20:08I mean, of course you do.
20:10But seriously, if you have any thoughts or tweaks, tell me, because we still have a day before the race.
20:14No, no. It's perfect.
20:16Oh, I'm so relieved. You want to take it for a spin?
20:19Yeah, but I'm kind of thirsty. Can you get me something to drink?
20:23Of course. Two frosty, non-caffeinated root beers. Coming right up.
20:41Oh, my God! What did you do?
20:44I didn't see it coming. I'm so sorry.
20:46No, not you, my son. You can go.
20:52MJ! Did you wreck the car on purpose?
20:56No. It just rolled down the driveway.
21:00It's a flat driveway.
21:04Okay, I did it.
21:08Why?
21:09I hate that car.
21:11Well, then we'll change it. We'll make it whatever you want to.
21:14I don't want to do it. I don't want to be the weirdo.
21:19Honey, did someone call you a weirdo?
21:21They don't have to. They're always staring at me and treating me different, because I don't have a dad.
21:27Oh, honey.
21:28And if I go to the father-son derby, and I'm the only kid with his mom, it's gonna be
21:32even worse.
21:34I'm so sorry. I had no idea. What can I do to make it better?
21:40Nothing. I just want Dad.
21:51Hey!
21:52Hey! How was soccer?
21:54Awesome. I think we're gonna kick San Morgano's ass on Saturday.
21:58Nice. Want me to make you something to eat?
21:59Thanks. I'm gonna get changed.
22:00Hey!
22:02It's cute how her generation thinks that sport is interesting.
22:06Oh, and I will bring her to the game Saturday. Looks like we won't need to switch weekends.
22:12I thought you and Jane were going away.
22:14I can't. I ain't gotta work.
22:16Greg wants me to rework the strategic plan the international guys did, so...
22:20Huh. Well, that sucks. Never liked that guy.
22:24Then why'd you go out with him?
22:27He said you guys had drinks the other night?
22:29It was nothing. We just, you know, hung out for a bit.
22:35You do realize that that could be awkward for me?
22:39Huh. That's weird.
22:41What?
22:42I have a Isn't That Ironic app that usually buzzes when people say stuff like that.
22:47I'm serious, Linda. That's where I work.
22:50It was just drinks with a guy I know who happens to be your boss.
22:54I promise not to do anything embarrassing like kiss him in the office.
23:01Okay.
23:03You know, you want to see Greg?
23:04Smile with me.
23:11Hey.
23:12Hmm?
23:12How about if instead of eating this sandwich, I just wanted to eat chocolate?
23:16Hey, how about... no.
23:19But what if I told you something about Dad and Jane that would make you very happy?
23:24Then could I?
23:26Why, you little finagler.
23:29How do I know your information is even worth the fine Belgian chocolates that I have hidden in the pantry?
23:34Oh, it is.
23:35It would be wrong to teach you that this kind of blackmail works.
23:39Besides, I can see you're just bursting to tell me anyway.
23:43When Dad told Jane he had to work this weekend, she kind of lost it.
23:47Really?
23:48The chocolate that I am in no way trading for this information has almonds in it.
23:52She was all, we never have time together and you still haven't filed the divorce papers.
23:58Is that true? He hasn't?
24:00The envelope is still sitting on a shelf in the kitchen.
24:04Put the sandwich down or you won't have any room left for chocolate.
24:15Ah, well look who strolled in from the outback.
24:18Where the hell have you been?
24:19Sorry, I really needed to sort through some stuff.
24:23Stuff?
24:23You mean what hors d'oeuvres we'll be serving at the wedding?
24:26Or are you referring to the dead body?
24:31Hey, if you plan on staying, you better start talking.
24:36I am impossibly in love with you, Renee.
24:40And there's nothing I want more than to come clean.
24:43But if I tell you what's going on, you could get dragged into this.
24:46And then you're at risk too.
24:52You have to trust me.
24:54When your ex kept secrets to hurt you, I'm keeping them to protect you.
25:02Okay.
25:04Really?
25:05That was easy.
25:07Well, while you were on your walkabout, I remembered something.
25:14Spousal privilege.
25:16Which is?
25:17It's a crazy law we have here.
25:19You don't have to testify against your husband.
25:22So here's what's going to happen.
25:23We say I do.
25:25We walk back up the aisle.
25:26The second we're outside that church, you tell me everything.
25:30And if I don't?
25:31Well, then I guess you won't be seeing those wedding night moves I told you about.
25:37And trust me, my secret is way better than yours.
25:51I'm sorry.
25:52I'm sorry.
25:54I just can't imagine what you must think of me after hearing all that.
26:02Hey, listen.
26:04I don't judge people.
26:05I defend them.
26:06And if I'm going to defend you, I need to know everything.
26:10Sexual history from your first husband down to the last guy on the DA's witness list.
26:15How about I go in the kitchen and say it and you just listen from out here?
26:19No dice.
26:20I need you to say it to my face.
26:22Why?
26:23Because you're going to be sitting at the defendant's table while one guy after another takes the stand and goes
26:28into as much graphic detail as the prosecutor wants him to.
26:32And the whole time, the jury is going to be looking at your face.
26:35Oh, dear God.
26:37And if the look on your face is guilt, they're going to think you're guilty.
26:42So I need you to own this part of your life.
26:46And that starts with you telling me everything.
26:52Okay.
26:54I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but maybe it would be helpful if I told you my sexual secrets
26:59first.
26:59No.
27:00It most certainly would not be helpful.
27:02Besides, men aren't embarrassed to brag about their conquests.
27:06I'm going to start talking now.
27:08First time I had sex, I was 24.
27:13I was in law school.
27:14She was a classmate.
27:16And rather experienced.
27:17It didn't go very well.
27:19Or for that matter, last very long.
27:22Yeah.
27:22Yeah.
27:23It's hilarious.
27:24In fact, every Christmas I get a card from her that says, still laughing.
27:29So you had an awkward first experience.
27:31Who didn't?
27:32You want worse?
27:33I can do worse.
27:37Okay.
27:38I don't know how to say this.
27:40Um, I am quite oversized down there.
27:47Since when is a man being well endowed considered humiliating?
27:51I'm talking about my prostate.
27:53My enlarged prostate.
27:55Best part?
27:56Your doctor tells you it only happens to older men.
28:00That's the reason you have to pee 30 times a day.
28:03So, now you know.
28:04I'm pushing 50, borderline incontinent, and women are scared of my junk.
28:10Is that humiliating enough for you?
28:12Yes, I think it is.
28:13Glad to hear it.
28:17I have to tell you now, don't I?
28:27I was in a dark place.
28:31Lonely.
28:33And in pain, I started drinking.
28:37Again.
28:46So, the kicker to the story is, the new international plan that Tom came up with is pretty awesome.
28:52He may not have good taste in women, but he is damn smart about finance.
28:55Tom is really smart.
28:57In that one area.
29:00Poor Jane.
29:02You're really enjoying this, aren't you?
29:04A little tiny bit.
29:06You should.
29:06I wish I had a way of getting back at Crystal when we were breaking up.
29:09Must feel good.
29:11Jane was pretty pissed, huh?
29:13Apparently.
29:14So, even though that makes me a terrible person, thank you for that.
29:17Anytime.
29:18I mean that.
29:20Anytime.
29:22So, if I asked you to have Tom work a few nights this week, you'd do it?
29:26If I can help you piss off your ex and spend more time with you,
29:29I see no downside in that.
29:31You just say the word.
29:33Really?
29:34Late nights, weekends.
29:35Maybe even a few out of town trips.
29:37You tell me what you want.
29:39I'll make it happen.
29:42Oh, I like the sound of that.
29:44Must be why women fall for powerful men.
29:49And then, the prosecutor suggested I was probably so drunk that I forgot the whole thing.
29:55Hang on.
29:55Didn't your hotshot lawyer get all up in her face with the objections and the sidebars and the you can't
30:00handle the truth?
30:00Tripp was amazing, but she still said it was admissible.
30:03My entire sordid past is admissible.
30:06So, just because you slept with a few guys means you slept with Alejandro?
30:09More than a few.
30:12Sorry. Carry on.
30:14You know what the worst thing was?
30:16The look on Tripp's face. He was so disappointed in me.
30:21Wait, that was the worst thing?
30:22Worse than the whole sharing a cell for 20 years with a big gal named Byrne thing?
30:27Well, I'm not going to prison. I mean, Tripp says we're gonna win and I believe in him.
30:31I just thank God that even after all of this, he still believes in me.
30:38Okay, I'm gonna say it.
30:40Bri, you have a crush on your lawyer.
30:42Don't be ridiculous.
30:43You do sound teensy bit smitten.
30:46I am not smitten. I happen to admire his legal skills and...
30:50His dreamy blue eyes?
30:51They're not blue, they're green, flecked with hints of brown.
30:59Okay, maybe I find him attractive, but do you really think I would put myself at risk by dating my
31:04own attorney?
31:04Well, I don't know. You put us all at risk when you dated Chuck.
31:08Look, having a crush is nothing to be ashamed of.
31:12He's rescuing you.
31:13And it's in our DNA to fall for guys who rescue us.
31:16But in this case, it's just not safe for you to act on it.
31:20I guess you're right.
31:21You're on trial for murder, Bri. You gotta keep a clear head.
31:25And so does he.
31:29Doris, I just want you to know how grateful we are.
31:32Your donation is gonna help so many recovering addicts get back on their feet.
31:36Stop. I should be thanking you for letting me be a part of all this.
31:39And please forgive the appearance of my office.
31:42Every penny that we get goes directly to those in need.
31:44So there's not a lot left over for...
31:48Nice...
31:50things.
31:53Those in need, huh?
31:56This is not my stuff.
31:57I had a simple wooden desk and old coffee table.
32:00Oh.
32:02And a baby grand.
32:04Well, that must come in handy while you were all singing kumbaya during your clean needle exchange.
32:10Doris, please. This is not what we're about here.
32:13Find yourself another old lady to fleece.
32:22Honey, I need to show you something in the garage.
32:25Did you fix the car?
32:26No. Wanting you to use the wood to build a coffin for the squirrel.
32:29But I do have a little surprise for you.
32:38Oh, hey. Perfect timing, MJ. We could really use another pair of hands.
32:42What are they doing here?
32:44Well, I know I told you that I could do this myself.
32:46But I got to thinking that every race car driver has a pit crew.
32:50And this is yours.
32:51We're here to help you.
32:53And not just about car stuff.
32:55Anytime you need something, give us a call.
32:58So what do you think of this design?
33:00It kind of looks like a Corvette.
33:02Kind of? It's an exact rendering. Look at the shading on the wheel wheel.
33:06Calm down. You traced it out of a magazine.
33:09Can you guys really build this?
33:11Well, not without your help.
33:15So what do you think about color? Red or blue?
33:18Mom, what do you think?
33:20I think, uh, this is kind of a guy thing.
33:24And I should let you guys get to work.
33:27My dad loved Corvettes.
33:28We know.
33:30He always said if you ever won the lottery, the first thing he'd do is buy a Corvette Stingray.
33:34Confirmable.
33:42Hey!
33:42Come on in.
33:45Whoa! You look like a million bucks.
33:47And trust me, I know what a million bucks looks like.
33:49What a lovely compliment.
33:51For one of us.
33:53So, uh, Gallo is the best restaurant in town.
33:56And after tonight, you will know why.
33:58Well, can't wait.
34:01Let's go.
34:02But first, I have a gift for you.
34:06Uh-huh.
34:09A nail.
34:10How thoughtful.
34:11And imaginary.
34:13A nail in the coffin of Tom's happiness.
34:16The end of Tom and Jane.
34:19Completely baffled.
34:20Every time this week I told him I needed him late, Tom would go in his office,
34:23and I'd hear him on the phone in a big fight with Jane.
34:26You shouldn't be telling me this.
34:29But yay!
34:31So, how do you think the persnickety Miss Carlson will handle the news of Tom's transfer?
34:36His what?
34:37The international plan needs a point, man.
34:39So I'm sending Tom to Mumbai for a year.
34:46Mumbai like India Mumbai?
34:48Mm-hmm.
34:49Which means you and I will have fair view all to ourselves.
34:54We got to go.
35:00Car.
35:06I can't believe you did that to my office.
35:08I had a butler lined up, but he booked a commercial at the last minute.
35:12So, I guess I'll call Doris now and make an appointment for shopping tomorrow.
35:16I don't think she'll be answering either of our calls.
35:17She thinks we're both nuts, so thanks a lot, Gabby.
35:19You started it.
35:21You're the one who stole it from me in the first place.
35:23Yeah, for something that matters.
35:25Oh, enough with the Carlos of Nazareth Act.
35:27This wasn't about helping people.
35:28This was about you smelling money and going after it.
35:31The money was for the center.
35:33Those people need it.
35:34The center?
35:35Please, you were doing it to win.
35:37And you know why?
35:38Because you're a shark, Carlos.
35:39You always have been and you always will be.
35:43It's your nature.
35:51Honey, it's okay.
35:52I am too.
35:53That's why we're good together.
35:56Look, I may not like that you stole Doris from me,
35:59but I do like that you're the type of guy who can.
36:02Sexy.
36:05But that's not who I want to be anymore.
36:08Well, who do you want to be?
36:12Somebody different.
36:14Well, I hate to tell you this, babe,
36:15but the best you can hope to be is just a different kind of shark.
36:23Yes, it isn't easy giving up power.
36:29Admitting that we might need help from friends and neighbors.
36:35Deciding that a loved one might know what's best for us.
36:42Giving up our better judgment for a slightly darker agenda.
36:50But for some, the hardest kind of power to give up is the power to control their own desires.
37:01Hello.
37:02You wanted to see me?
37:04Did you have some new thoughts on the case?
37:07Lots, but why don't we discuss them over dinner?
37:10Dinner? Can't we talk here?
37:12I've been cooped up all day.
37:14And I know this great little Italian place.
37:16I don't think that's a good idea.
37:17Come on.
37:18I'm a much better lawyer after a plate of spaghetti carbonara.
37:22So?
37:23What do you say?
37:24I say...
37:29Let's do it.
37:31Let's do it.