00:00My therapist told me that I am undateable.
00:08Yeah.
00:11In a session, and she just turned to me, and she said,
00:13Trevor, I think it is because you are undateable.
00:17I was like, huh, I guess you also didn't like the Grammys.
00:24She told me this at the end of a session,
00:26which I feel like should be legal.
00:29Well, like therapists will drop a bomb on you at the end of a session
00:33and then just expect you to wait.
00:34It'll just be like, yeah, and that's why your father could never love you.
00:37And you're like, what?
00:38Oh, yeah, we've run out of time.
00:39I'll see you next time.
00:39No!
00:40No, next video, next video!
00:42I don't want to wait a week.
00:43I want Netflix therapy, not HBO.
00:49I had to wait two weeks, and then in my next session,
00:51I was like, wait, wait, wait, let's go into it.
00:53And I was like, yeah, skip recap, skip recap.
00:54Let's go, let's go, let's go.
00:55And she was like, well, you know, Trevor,
00:57I was thinking about, you know, you and relationships
00:59and what we're talking about.
01:00We're talking about my inability to be in a long-term relationship.
01:04And I was trying to understand why, and we're delving into it.
01:06And she said, I think it's because you are undateable.
01:08And then she broke it down for me.
01:10She said, there are a few reasons.
01:12I think you work too much.
01:14I know you love your work, but you work too much,
01:16and that doesn't create a good balance in your life.
01:18And she said, also, you travel too much,
01:22and being in the same place is crucial for building a solid relationship.
01:27But I'll be honest with you,
01:29those things are really just the side dish.
01:32The main course and the real issue I have
01:35is, as my therapist put it,
01:38I have an inability to not say what is in my head.
01:49And she taught me that one of the keys to a long, successful relationship
01:55is knowing when to think and when to speak.
02:01Yeah.
02:03And I was like, ah, I don't have that problem.
02:05I'm a good communicator.
02:06She's like, no, Trevor, you, oftentimes,
02:08you have thoughts and you immediately say them.
02:11You just have the thought and it comes out your mouth.
02:13And Trump was like, tell him, girl.
02:24I was like, I don't know.
02:25I don't think I have that as a problem.
02:27I think it's probably something.
02:28She's like, no, no, no, I've got notes.
02:29Hold on, I've got some notes.
02:31And she pulled out the notes,
02:32and she's like, let's go through some examples.
02:33And there was one example that really, yeah, it's,
02:37she was right.
02:39It happened with an ex-girlfriend of mine.
02:41And it was the fracture that led to the end of the relationship, really.
02:45It wasn't the moment, but that fracture caused the outcome.
02:50We were getting ready for bed.
02:54It was an innocuous night.
02:56Brushing our teeth, getting into the covers.
02:59And then before we turned off the lights,
03:01we started talking to each other, and we got really cozy.
03:04You know those moments where you're with the person you love,
03:06and you just find yourself in the rabbit hole of stories you've never told
03:10and feelings you've never shared, and you're laughing,
03:12and you can feel you're falling more in love.
03:15And we're lying there on the pillows, you know, looking at each other,
03:18and she's there staring at me.
03:21And all of a sudden, she's like,
03:23hey, um, can I ask you a question?
03:27I was like, yeah.
03:30Yeah, of course.
03:31She's like,
03:33if you could change
03:34one thing about me,
03:37what would you change?
03:43Now, I have since learned
03:47that there is a correct answer to this question.
03:53And yes, one correct answer.
03:55Regardless of how unique your relationship is,
03:58if you want to win this game show question,
04:02the answer you give,
04:04if she says to you,
04:05if there's a woman in your life,
04:05and she says,
04:06if there's one thing you could change about me,
04:08what would you change?
04:09The correct answer is
04:11nothing.
04:12Aha.
04:13Yes.
04:14I wish you were all there with me that night.
04:17Yes.
04:19Correct answer is
04:20nothing.
04:21You say nothing, babe.
04:23I would change
04:25nothing about you
04:27because everything you are
04:29makes you perfect for me.
04:33If anything,
04:34can I be honest?
04:36I would change myself.
04:40I would change myself
04:43so that I would be better able to receive
04:45the love that you so freely give.
04:48That is what I would change.
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