- 2 days ago
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00:04Daphne Bix was an unhappy woman, and no one knew this better than her husband.
00:11That's why he hired her to work with him.
00:14He thought it might cheer her up.
00:18But sadly, Jeff Bix soon discovered that it would take a lot more than a job
00:23to keep his wife from complaining.
00:29She complained from the moment they got up in the morning
00:32till they were on their way home at the end of the day.
00:42Things had gotten so bad, Jeff Bix began to wonder when God would end his suffering.
00:49Luckily for Jeff, God had a plan.
00:57It's friggin' Christmas, for God's sake.
00:59I'm not buying you a new car.
01:01Tricia Reed's husband got her a new car.
01:02It isn't even a holiday.
01:04He bought it for her because she beat cancer.
01:06You beat cancer, I'll buy you a car.
01:08Don't beat it, I'll buy you two.
01:10Why are we even together?
01:11The hot sex.
01:13You're cheap, rude, you lack ambition.
01:16I should just dump your sorry ass.
01:18You want a gift? You want a gift?
01:19How about a divorce?
01:21Don't tempt me.
01:21I'm serious.
01:23I already got the name of a divorce attorney.
01:29You want a divorce?
01:30You got it.
01:31Yes, Virginia.
01:32There was a Santa Claus and he's giving me my balls back.
01:35Correction.
01:35One of them.
01:36I get half of everything.
01:37But not the business.
01:38I started that.
01:39With my father's money.
01:40So I get half and I'm selling it.
01:43Wait a minute.
01:43Let's talk about this.
01:45Oh, so now you're scared?
01:46You be that vindictive.
01:48Destroy the one thing I love out of spite.
01:49Hello?
01:51Have we met?
01:51Of course I will.
01:53And I'm not stopping there.
01:54Bank accounts, pension funds.
01:55Ooh, I'm going to ruin you.
01:58Oh, what's the matter?
01:59I can't breathe.
02:01Nice try, big faker.
02:03No.
02:03My chest hurts like hell.
02:05Take the controls.
02:06What?
02:08You've got to land the plane.
02:11What?
02:12No.
02:13You piece of crap.
02:14You can't do this to me.
02:15And that is how the unhappy marriage of Jeff and Daphne Bix ended.
02:21In a plane, losing altitude, right above a cul-de-sac.
02:27Hey, is it just me?
02:29Or is that plane flying really low?
02:31By the name of Wisteria Lane.
02:35Dad, I think it's going to crash.
02:43The best Christmas ever.
02:47That's what the residents of Wisteria Lane were dreaming of as they prepared for their annual Yuletide Festival.
02:54So they hung up a banner, brought out their candy canes, and put up Santa's workshop, as eager as children
03:04for the holiday to begin.
03:06Of course, some were more childish than others.
03:11Look at this mess.
03:12It's like Santa's colon.
03:17That's funny.
03:18Did you hear that?
03:19Hilarious.
03:20It's almost as funny as when Orson said it last year.
03:25Okay.
03:26How about some Christmas music?
03:28Parker, you got that sound system fixed?
03:31Almost.
03:32Do we really want the kid working with electricity?
03:35He can't even get the newspaper on my porch.
03:41You're clumping.
03:46Hey, what is going on with you two?
03:48I don't want to get into it.
03:49Well, whatever it is, you need to work it out.
03:51We are caroling at the festival on Saturday, and we can't have two of our jingle bells fighting.
03:55You know, if you need a replacement, I've been told that I have a dusky alto.
03:58No way.
04:00Girls only.
04:00We're the jingle bells, not the jingle balls.
04:03Shouldn't you be out stealing the last can of hoo-hash?
04:06You want to see me go all Grinch on your ass?
04:10To be honest, Brie, I don't think I'm going to be able to sing with Lynette after she was...
04:13After she what?
04:14Are you about to trash me?
04:15I have way too much glass to trash you, no matter how much you deserve it.
04:19Merry Christmas to me.
04:21What did she do?
04:23She's suing Carlos.
04:24You're suing him?
04:25Because he fired me.
04:27He fired her?
04:27Because she lied about being pregnant.
04:29You're pregnant?
04:30She's twins.
04:31You knew?
04:32I told her to keep it quiet.
04:34Congratulations.
04:35Sure take her side.
04:36She's not.
04:37Stop fighting.
04:39I mean, with all we've been through lately, Julie being attacked, Danny Boland's overdose,
04:43we really need some Christmas spirit around here.
04:46Susan's right.
04:48This is the time we should come together and celebrate peace on Earth and goodwill towards men.
04:59Oh, crap.
05:01Who's dead now?
05:05Hey, what's going on?
05:07Something's happened to Catherine.
05:10Oh, my God.
05:11I was just there five minutes ago.
05:12Was she okay?
05:13Well, she was really upset.
05:15I hope she didn't do something to herself.
05:19Hey, you're not going to believe this, but I just heard the cops say that someone stabbed Catherine right in
05:22the gut.
05:23What?
05:23Why would you do that?
05:31You've got to be kidding me.
05:37Hey there.
05:37How you feeling?
05:39A little hungry.
05:41That's because they pumped your stomach.
05:44But if you want, Tyler, I can have them bring you some soup.
05:48Why did you just call me that?
05:50You told me to last night.
05:51No, I didn't.
05:52Yes, you did.
05:53Twice.
05:53You were still a little groggy, but you definitely said your name was Tyler.
05:57Maybe I was dreaming.
06:02My name's Danny.
06:05Okay.
06:09Can I see my mom?
06:12Please?
06:13I'm sorry, not while you're under observation.
06:17I'll have someone bring you that soup.
06:19Danny.
06:23I don't get this.
06:24We gave you a check to cover the ambulance and everything else so far.
06:27I know, but we still need your insurance information, Mr. Bolan.
06:30It's hospital policy.
06:31Like us not being able to see our kid.
06:32So you have two stupid policies.
06:34There could be some unforeseen expenses.
06:36There could be some unforeseen expenses.
06:37Tests we may have to run.
06:38If you don't have insurance, there are government programs.
06:41If you could just give me your information.
06:43No, we don't need a handout.
06:44We have cash.
06:46Thank you, though.
06:47Gail?
06:49Can I speak with the Bolans?
06:53I know what's going on.
06:55What do you mean?
06:58I knew something was up the moment you moved onto the lane.
07:02I mean, you never talk about your past.
07:04But we're private people.
07:05Is there a law against that?
07:07Having no insurance, wanting to pay cash for everything,
07:10having a son who can't remember if his name is Danny or Tyler.
07:15Where are you going with all this, Mona?
07:19You're in the witness protection program, aren't you?
07:24Huh.
07:26You are one short cookie.
07:31How'd you figure it out?
07:33Honestly, once I noticed you're Italian, I just kind of went from there.
07:38No offense.
07:40None taken.
07:41I can't believe I'm right.
07:43So, what went down?
07:45You witness a hit?
07:47Did you rat on one of the five families?
07:49We, um, we can't talk about it, Mona.
07:52And neither can you.
07:54To anybody.
07:56Of course not.
07:57Because if you do say anything,
08:01we're gonna have to have you whacked.
08:19Hmm.
08:22Any more news about Mike and Catherine?
08:24No, but I'm sure he'll be exonerated.
08:27Mike could never do something that awful.
08:30That's my Brie.
08:31Always seeing the good in people.
08:33Yes.
08:36Well, um...
08:38Forgive me for starting your day on a sour note,
08:41but I filed for divorce.
08:43Here are the papers,
08:44and if you try to stop me,
08:46your parole officer will see these.
08:50Consorting with a known felon is a parole violation.
08:53If you send me to jail for fraud,
08:55you're going with me.
08:56It's over, Orson.
09:02This must have been quite a project for you.
09:05Finding Lamar,
09:06setting up the camera.
09:08Sorry to put you through so much needless trouble.
09:10I would hardly say needless.
09:12Without these,
09:13you'd still have a gun to my head.
09:15Do you really think I would send you to jail?
09:18It's what you've been threatening.
09:20I was bluffing, Brie.
09:21Right from the start.
09:23I could never hurt you that badly,
09:25no matter what.
09:27You didn't need these.
09:29You could have called my bluff
09:30and walked away any time.
09:36Suppose the fact that you did believe me,
09:38that you actually thought I'd destroy you,
09:39just out of spite,
09:40that alone should have told me it was over.
09:46I will pack after breakfast.
09:52For what it's worth,
09:53I'm sorry it had to end this way.
09:55Me too.
10:01These scones you made are delicious.
10:04I'll miss them.
10:17Here's Captain's room.
10:18Now, you might hear some screams for help in there.
10:21Ignore them.
10:22Is this what you meant by
10:22I'll behave calmly and rationally?
10:25That was just to get you to unlock the car door.
10:27Susan, you gotta go in there
10:28and be Catherine Mayfair's best friend
10:29because she could put Mike away for a very long time.
10:31I know.
10:32I know.
10:35Might help if you give her these.
10:37Good idea.
10:38She pisses me off.
10:39I can crack the vase over her head.
10:48No, Dylan.
10:49The police have everything under control.
10:51There's no reason for you to fly out here.
10:56Honey, I've got a visitor.
10:58I gotta go.
11:00Okay, talk to you later.
11:04Susan, come in.
11:07Hi, Catherine.
11:11Oh, what a sweet gift.
11:15I didn't even think I'd see you here.
11:19Well, I was concerned about you, Catherine.
11:23A lot of people are.
11:25Actually, the one they should be concerned about is you.
11:29Why is that?
11:31Because the man you just married turned out to be a maniac.
11:36Yeah, um...
11:38About that, uh...
11:43We both know
11:46that Mike didn't do this.
11:50Really?
11:54I've got seven stitches
11:56and a knife with Mike's fingerprints
11:58that say otherwise.
12:06It doesn't make
12:09anything.
12:10sense.
12:12Why would Mike
12:13want to stab you?
12:19Like, you must know.
12:21I told him I was in love with someone else
12:23and he flew into a rage.
12:28Will you stop lying?
12:30If you don't tell the truth soon,
12:31you are sending an innocent man to jail.
12:33You are taking a father
12:35away from his son!
12:37It's Mike's fault, not mine.
12:39Catherine, please!
12:41Even though I'm so angry with him,
12:45when you think about it,
12:47it's really kind of flattering
12:48to go this far
12:49to keep me from being with someone else.
12:59So how did it go?
13:01I don't know anymore.
13:02I can't tell if she's crazy
13:04or just devious.
13:05I think she's a little of both.
13:08Okay.
13:09So tell me how I got the crazy part committed.
13:12Only a family member can commit somebody
13:13to an institution.
13:16Really?
13:20Excuse me.
13:21I was just with my friend Catherine
13:23in 607
13:24and she was talking to her daughter
13:25and she wanted me to follow up
13:27about something.
13:28Do you have that number?
13:30Dylan Mayfair?
13:32Yes.
13:32Would you mind dialing that number?
13:34Certainly.
13:37There you go.
13:43Hello.
13:44This is Dr. Brister calling from Fairview General.
13:48I understand that you were just speaking
13:50with your mother.
13:52Right.
13:53But I do feel given her condition
13:56it is important for you to come here
13:58if you can.
14:00Lovely.
14:02See you soon.
14:05Now that's devious.
14:1550 cents off paper towels.
14:17That's a great coupon.
14:18This is fun.
14:19Yeah, it sure is.
14:20And me doing my own roots
14:21is going to be fun
14:22and getting rid of cable
14:23is going to be fun.
14:24We're going to be having
14:24so much fun around here.
14:26Mommy?
14:27Hmm?
14:27Are we poor?
14:29Oh.
14:30Only financially.
14:35Hey, don't forget that one.
14:37Rub you away in a can?
14:38I like poor food.
14:46What'd they say?
14:47I've attended classes for six weeks.
14:49They won't refund any of my tuition.
14:52Unbelievable.
14:53Is there a sign over us
14:55that says crap here?
14:56It'll be okay.
14:57I'm looking for a job
14:58and in the meantime
14:59we've got enough money to live on
15:00for the next four months.
15:02So we'll run out
15:04right before the babies are born?
15:06Yes.
15:07But remember,
15:08kids don't miss
15:08what they never had.
15:10Ah, like food, clothing,
15:11sober mother.
15:16I am so sorry.
15:19For what?
15:20For what I have done
15:21to this family.
15:23You have to drop out of school.
15:26Penny is clipping coupons.
15:27I have really,
15:29really screwed this up.
15:31Well,
15:32we'll get some money
15:33if we win the lawsuit.
15:35Yeah.
15:36Won't that be great?
15:38Living off the money we made
15:39suing our best friends.
15:42At least Gabby tried to apologize
15:45and stop this.
15:47Well,
15:49maybe it's your turn.
15:56Damn it!
15:58Whatever it is,
15:58I can explain.
16:00That was the chairman
16:00of my board.
16:01This Lynette thing
16:02is turning into a fiasco.
16:04I thought that lawyer
16:05said you did everything
16:06by the book
16:07that we recovered.
16:09It doesn't matter
16:10what the lawyer said.
16:11Bottom line is,
16:11it looks bad for Global Venture.
16:13A big corporation
16:14going after a pregnant woman.
16:16So what's going to happen?
16:17If this suit goes to trial,
16:21I'm done.
16:22And even if it doesn't,
16:23I might still lose my job.
16:25I put everything
16:26into this company.
16:28Carlos!
16:30Carlos!
16:37Hi.
16:41I know I'm probably
16:42the last person
16:43you want to talk to.
16:44You got that right.
16:50It's done,
16:52Carl Orson.
16:52Sign the papers.
16:55Yes.
16:56I know.
16:57I've never been happier.
16:59I absolutely want
17:00to see you two.
17:01Meet me at the motel
17:02and we'll
17:03find a way to celebrate.
17:05Till then, my darling.
17:09When you move on,
17:10you don't waste any time.
17:15I'm sorry.
17:16I wanted to tell you
17:17this morning,
17:18but I felt I'd hurt you
17:20enough for one day.
17:23It's much better
17:24to parcel out the pain.
17:26Is it someone I know?
17:31No.
17:31No, never mind.
17:32I can't handle that right now.
17:34Just tell me this.
17:38Have you told your friends
17:39you're seeing anyone?
17:40Of course not.
17:43Good.
17:45Please don't until I'm gone.
17:48I'm saying goodbye
17:49to everyone at the party
17:49tomorrow.
17:50I don't want it to turn
17:51into a pity fest
17:51for poor Orson.
17:55I won't go public
17:56with my new relationship
17:58until we're divorced.
18:01And I'll say
18:02we started seeing each other
18:05after you and I separated.
18:08What a tasteful solution.
18:10You must write
18:11an etiquette book
18:12for adulterers.
18:17I don't blame you
18:18for being angry.
18:19And I give you my word
18:20I will not let my affair
18:22be an embarrassment to you.
18:24So when the plane
18:25flies over the Christmas party
18:26I wanted pulling
18:27a big-ass banner
18:28that reads
18:29Will you marry me, Bree?
18:32Love, Carl.
18:33Oh, isn't that romantic?
18:35Glorious.
18:35That'll be six hundred bucks.
18:37I don't care.
18:38Can't put a price on love.
18:39He can.
18:40Our anniversary?
18:41Twenty dollar gift certificate
18:42to a rib joint.
18:44Well, you didn't have
18:44to cook that night
18:45so the gift was
18:46for both of us.
18:48Good luck, Mr. Meyer.
18:49I hope this brief
18:50says yes.
18:52Almost as much
18:53as I wish I'd said no.
18:57What it's worth
18:58I'm a divorce lawyer.
19:00Oh, God's sake, Jeff.
19:02Look at the mess in here.
19:05Do you have a card?
19:19Dylan?
19:20Dylan?
19:21I have nothing
19:22to say to you.
19:23I know what your mother
19:25must have told you.
19:26It's what she told everyone,
19:27but it's not true.
19:28Do you really think
19:28I'm going to take
19:29your word over hers?
19:30Please.
19:31I am so worried
19:32about your mom.
19:33I am not just thinking
19:34about mine.
19:34The hell you're not.
19:35Get over him.
19:36He's married to my mother.
19:38What?
19:39You know,
19:40it's bad enough
19:40that you make a scene
19:41at their wedding
19:42and you hound them
19:42night and day
19:43and you stab her
19:44because you can't have him.
19:46Is that what she told you?
19:48I don't know why
19:49you're not locked up right now.
19:50You're crazy.
19:52Dylan!
19:54We need to talk.
20:01Oh, my God.
20:08I don't understand.
20:09For months,
20:10my mom has been telling me
20:11about her life with Mike.
20:13Gifts that he's given her
20:14and trips that they've planned.
20:19Your mom needs help.
20:22And so does Mike.
20:28What do you want me to do?
20:34Hey!
20:35Good news!
20:36Dr. Chang says
20:37I can give your parents
20:38an early Christmas present.
20:41You're released.
20:42Grab your stuff.
20:43I'm taking you home.
20:51Thanks for the ride.
20:53Happy to help.
20:55I can't imagine
20:56how tough it is
20:57for you guys
20:57to live this way.
20:59What way?
21:01Running all these years,
21:02always looking over your shoulder.
21:04I can't imagine
21:09how tough it is
21:11for you guys to live this way.
21:12Well, actually,
21:13I figured it out.
21:14Your mom just filled in
21:15the details.
21:19Why would she do that?
21:21Frankly,
21:21I think she was glad
21:22to finally find someone
21:23she could be honest with.
21:25And that goes for you, too.
21:27If you ever need to talk,
21:28you can trust me.
21:31I hope so.
21:34Because if you say anything,
21:35they're going to throw
21:35my mom in jail.
21:37No.
21:38It doesn't work that way.
21:42Are you kidding?
21:45Ever since 9-11,
21:47the feds are hardcore
21:48on any terrorist stuff.
21:50Even the old cases.
21:53If they find her,
21:55she's dead.
21:59What do you mean?
22:06Danny!
22:07I thought we were
22:08picking you up tomorrow.
22:09Mom, I screwed up.
22:10What are you talking about?
22:15I told no everything.
22:38Hey, Mona.
22:40Thanks for giving Danny a ride.
22:42And I am so sorry
22:44he dragged you
22:44into our family drama.
22:54I mean,
22:55you know better
22:55than anyone
22:55what a bad headspace
22:56he's in right now.
22:58He's so angry
22:59at me and his dad.
22:59He just
23:00wants to hurt us.
23:02Which would explain
23:03the wild story
23:03he just told you.
23:08So,
23:09you good?
23:11I hate my job.
23:13All I do
23:14is deal with
23:15disturbed people.
23:17Wipe their drool,
23:18strap them down.
23:20I hate it.
23:23Well,
23:24maybe you should
23:25get a different job?
23:26I wanted to.
23:28But they say
23:28you should have
23:29a year's worth
23:29of living expenses.
23:31And I didn't know
23:31where I'd get the money.
23:36$67,000.
23:38That's what I've needed
23:39to cover my mortgage,
23:41my car,
23:41everything for a year.
23:44Mona.
23:45$67,000.
23:48If you could do that
23:49for me,
23:50then we'd all
23:51be free.
23:58Hey, Mom.
24:03Dylan.
24:05What are you doing here?
24:06I asked you not to come.
24:08I had to.
24:10You were hurt.
24:12Have you been to the house?
24:16Oh, I'm so sorry.
24:18Mike wasn't there
24:18to welcome you.
24:20He's away in business.
24:23No, he's in jail.
24:25You told the police
24:26he stabbed you.
24:29I never said that.
24:31I told you.
24:33Susan attacked me.
24:34Then why did the police
24:35arrest Mike?
24:38I don't know.
24:40Maybe he confessed
24:42to protect her.
24:45Mom,
24:47Susan's his wife.
24:50That's ridiculous.
24:53Who told you that?
24:54Susan?
24:55No, Mike.
24:59They let me speak with him.
25:01Mom, Mike is in jail
25:02and that's not right
25:03if he didn't do anything.
25:11Did you stab yourself?
25:18Mom, did you?
25:21I asked you
25:22not to come.
25:26You don't understand.
25:29Just entrapped him.
25:31Pulled his head
25:31and lies.
25:33This is gonna save him.
25:36He knows the way
25:37I did it.
25:37He wants this.
25:43What is she doing here?
25:46I wanna help you, Catherine.
25:54I have to get to Mike.
25:56He's expecting me.
25:57I don't think so.
25:58Please, I have to go.
26:00Mrs. Mayfair!
26:04Mom, please!
26:05Everything's gonna be wonderful.
26:08We have to get to Mike.
26:10We need some help here.
26:11Mrs. Mayfair, please.
26:13Mrs. Mayfair, please.
26:13Mrs. Mayfair, please.
26:14No!
26:16Please, Mrs. Mayfair,
26:17we're trying to help you.
26:21Okay.
26:21It's okay.
26:22Honey, everything's gonna be okay.
26:28I asked you not to go.
26:42Hey, wait up.
26:42I wanna go with you.
26:43Can I have one moment apiece?
26:45Our therapist said
26:45we need to do more stuff together.
26:47I know.
26:47That's why I don't go
26:47to the therapist with you.
26:49Oh, come on.
26:49Would it kill you
26:50to spend some time
26:50with the woman you love?
26:52I don't know.
26:52Would you be upset
26:53if I brought her?
26:54As long as she doesn't
26:55deflate in the plane.
26:59I don't know.
27:02Gabby, please talk to me.
27:03I feel just awful.
27:04You know why?
27:05Because you are awful.
27:06You're an awful person.
27:07Okay, you have every right
27:08to be mad at me.
27:09Thanks, Lynette.
27:10And you have every right
27:10to go to hell.
27:11Stop talking to me.
27:15Thank you all
27:15for coming out
27:16to our annual holiday festival.
27:18And as it's been our tradition
27:19these last 12 years,
27:21please welcome back
27:22the Jingle Bells.
27:26All right, ladies.
27:28Sparkle.
27:30I can't believe
27:30they wouldn't let you
27:31sing with them.
27:31It's their group.
27:32They can do whatever they want.
27:33Whores.
27:38Do you mind?
27:41You're blocking me
27:42with your big fat head.
27:44I thought we weren't talking.
27:50You know, I was trying
27:52to apologize.
27:53It's too late.
27:54Carlos is not going
27:54to lose his job
27:55over the stuff
27:56you're putting him through.
27:57Gee, I wonder
27:57what that feels like.
28:02By the way,
28:03because your husband
28:04canned me,
28:04Tom had to quit school.
28:06Oh, the 45-year-old
28:07freshman has to drop out.
28:08Maybe he'll get
28:08a paper out.
28:09Move.
28:10No.
28:11Fine.
28:11You want to be a jerk?
28:12No.
28:13Gabby, give me my hand.
28:14No, no.
28:14Give me my hand.
28:16Get that back to me.
28:17Give me my hand.
28:18Gabby, all is calm.
28:19All is calm.
28:20But now, she's
28:21started as always.
28:22She's being a bitch.
28:23I don't remember
28:24the word bitch
28:24being in the song.
28:25Oh, no.
28:25It's always been there.
28:28You are...
28:37We are going to take
28:38a little break.
28:40Mid-song.
28:41And we will be right back.
28:43Have a little punch.
28:48I realize you two
28:49are having a problem.
28:50A giant problem.
28:51And now, half a fair few
28:52does too.
28:53So, A, you're fired.
28:54And, B, work it out.
28:59Gabby, I'm sorry
29:00about everything,
29:01but you have no idea
29:02what losing my job
29:02has done to my family.
29:04Oh, boo-hoo, you.
29:05Why don't you slip
29:06your kinkles into my shoes
29:07and walk a mile?
29:08You just don't care
29:09about anyone but yourself.
29:11No, I do.
29:12I care about my friends.
29:13Sorry you are no longer
29:14part of that group.
29:20I'm in.
29:21It's a Christmas miracle.
29:27We can't just let
29:28some stupid housewife
29:29shake us down
29:29for 67 grand.
29:31Nick, what do you want
29:31from me?
29:31We've got to try
29:32to make this go away.
29:35We've got the emergency
29:3610 grand,
29:37but that is a long way
29:37from 67,000.
29:46Maybe this will
29:46get us closer.
29:49Oh, you little...
29:50Now, don't be careful,
29:51you little...
29:51Hunchkins.
29:55Excuse me.
29:57Carl?
29:57What are you doing here?
29:59I just thought I'd come by
30:00and give you
30:00an early Christmas present.
30:01Stop it.
30:02We can't be seen together.
30:04It's the big deal.
30:05Susan knows.
30:05The cat's out of the bag.
30:06Orson doesn't know.
30:07You didn't tell her?
30:08About the affair, yes,
30:09but he has no idea
30:10it's you.
30:11Now, Carl, please go.
30:12I promised him
30:13there'd be no scenes today.
30:14Carl?
30:15Oh, Lord.
30:18Hey, Orson.
30:19Just came by
30:19to check on the decorations.
30:21Great job, Mrs. Hodge.
30:22Save it, Carl.
30:24I'm not an idiot.
30:24Orson, please.
30:26You obviously heard
30:27Bree and I are divorcing,
30:28and vulture that you are,
30:30you've swooped in
30:31to make a buck
30:31by representing Bree.
30:35Hey, a man's got to eat.
30:36Perhaps.
30:38But soliciting business
30:39at a Christmas party,
30:41that's tacky.
30:42Even for you, Carl.
30:44If this is who you want
30:45representing you,
30:46that's your choice.
30:47But frankly,
30:48I thought you had
30:49higher standards.
30:54Remind me not to let him
30:56make a toast at our wedding.
30:57That's not funny, Carl.
30:58Just go before he figures it out.
31:00Yeah, about that.
31:01You know that Christmas present
31:02I mentioned?
31:03Don't you dare give me
31:03a present in front
31:04of all these people.
31:05I'm not sure I can stop it.
31:06It's being delivered
31:08by air.
31:09Carl, what did you do?
31:11Just let me make
31:12one quick call.
31:18Mayday!
31:19Mayday!
31:20Oh, God.
31:21How do you turn
31:22this thing on?
31:23Somebody help?
31:24I don't know.
31:25I don't fly!
31:38Okay, I released the banner.
31:39Now what?
31:40Look for a place to land,
31:42a field,
31:42a large parking lot.
31:44All I see are neighborhoods.
31:45The negative street landing
31:46is too dangerous.
31:47Well, that's all there is!
31:49What do you want from me?
31:50Okay, calm down.
31:52Keep her steady.
31:55Jeff, it's Carl.
31:56You there?
31:57Hello?
31:59Hello?
31:59Come on, pick up.
32:01Okay, if you get this message,
32:02please, please get this message.
32:04You need to abort.
32:05Do not, repeat,
32:06do not fly over
32:08Worcesteria Park
32:08with that banner.
32:09What banner?
32:10Call me.
32:11Carl, what banner?
32:13You know how you're
32:13always saying to me
32:14I should be more romantic?
32:15Well, I thought,
32:17what if I hire a plane
32:18to fly over Bree Street
32:19carrying a banner
32:20with a heartfelt
32:20personal message?
32:21Carl, when you put
32:22a message on a banner,
32:23it ceases to be personal.
32:24What does it say?
32:26Something like,
32:29Bree, will you marry me,
32:30love Carl?
32:30Oh, dear God!
32:31I was trying to be romantic.
32:33Carl, when we began
32:33this affair,
32:34we agreed to be discreet.
32:35Do you know what discreet means?
32:36No skywriting!
32:40Oh, God!
32:41Poor Orson!
32:42Do you know how
32:43humiliated he'll be?
32:45I have to warn him.
32:47Bree, wait!
32:49I made this mess.
32:50I'll deal with it.
32:52Orson deserves the truth,
32:53and he should hear it
32:54from me,
32:54not a banner.
32:55But I...
33:02You got a minute?
33:03I need to talk to you.
33:04What, here?
33:05Can it wait?
33:06Uh, not really.
33:14If this is about
33:15the settlement,
33:16I told Bree
33:16there's very little I want.
33:18That's not the problem.
33:20It's what I want.
33:22Bree.
33:24You're too late.
33:25She has a boyfriend.
33:30You?
33:31Hey, if I were a betting man,
33:32I'd have lost a bundle
33:33on this, too.
33:35So, wait.
33:38You're having sex
33:39with my wife.
33:41The point is,
33:41we don't want to make this
33:42any harder for you
33:43than it has to be.
33:45I just wanted to warn you
33:46that in a few minutes...
33:50I'll be in a few minutes.
33:50Okay, you're the husband.
33:52I'll give you that one.
33:54I'm trying to spare
33:55your feelings,
33:56which is why...
34:00That's it.
34:01The hell with your feelings.
34:03I am proposing
34:04to Bree today
34:05with an airplane banner.
34:07And trust me,
34:07that will be the highlight
34:08of your day.
34:13One moment, please.
34:21Hi.
34:22Hi.
34:23Have you been to see Santa yet?
34:25Uh-uh.
34:25You want me to take you?
34:27Yeah?
34:27Okay.
34:30Come on.
34:31I will take you
34:32to see Santa.
34:40Hey.
34:43Oh.
34:44We're going to do this
34:44right here,
34:45just like that?
34:48This seems like
34:49a pretty small envelope
34:50for such a big secret.
34:53It's ten grand.
34:54And my wedding ring.
34:55It was my grandmother's.
34:57It's all we have
34:58right now.
34:59But I gave notice
35:02at the hospital.
35:03I can't go back there.
35:04Mona,
35:05that's the best
35:06we can do.
35:08I have a job at Breeze.
35:10I can pay the rest
35:10as I make it.
35:11Sure.
35:12Until you disappear
35:13into thin air.
35:15Just because I have
35:16lawn gnomes
35:17doesn't mean I'm stupid.
35:19You don't know
35:20the whole story.
35:21I know.
35:22You killed someone
35:23and walked away
35:23scot-free.
35:24Scott-free?
35:28Does this look
35:29scot-free?
35:32I don't think
35:33Danny told you
35:33the whole story.
35:34But maybe
35:35you should hear it.
35:37Four miles
35:38I ran today
35:39and now I'm
35:39drinking eggnog.
35:40It's like
35:41mayonnaise
35:42with rum in it.
35:48Excuse me.
36:06What are you doing?
36:07Stop it!
36:08This is ridiculous,
36:09please!
36:10Oh, for God's sake!
36:12Stop it!
36:13And that was
36:1318 years ago
36:14and we've been
36:14looking over our
36:15shoulders ever since.
36:16That sounds like
36:17a very reasonable story.
36:19So reasonable
36:20that I don't understand
36:21why you couldn't
36:21just call the police
36:22right now
36:23and explain it to them.
36:24Someone's dead.
36:26You know I can't do that.
36:28What I know is
36:29you've got till tomorrow
36:30to come up with
36:30the rest of the money
36:31or I go to the police.
36:32Capisce?
36:36Is it just me?
36:37Or is that plane
36:38flying really low?
36:42Mona,
36:43can we talk about this?
36:45Don't do this.
36:46You are screwing
36:46with people's lives here.
36:47This could blow up
36:48in your face.
36:5067,000
36:51by tomorrow.
36:52What?
36:53I call the police.
37:00House!
37:01House!
37:02House!
37:06Hey, we're not done here.
37:08You can run,
37:09but you can't hide.
37:23Julia!
37:25Run!
37:40The best Christmas ever.
37:45That's what everyone
37:47had wanted.
37:49But something went wrong.
37:53Horribly wrong.
37:55For those who survived,
37:59it would be a day
38:00they would try to forget.
38:01For those who didn't,
38:04this Christmas
38:05would simply be
38:07their last.