- 2 days ago
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00:01It is in our nature to judge the people around us.
00:06We judge the way strangers dress,
00:12the way our neighbors tend their lawns,
00:17and the way our friends act in public.
00:21Yes, we make these judgments all the time,
00:26never thinking that one day we may be judged ourselves.
00:35Ow!
00:38Girls, what are you doing?
00:40Oh, for Pete's sake.
00:43What did I tell you about sledding down the staircase?
00:45Not to use the good suitcase?
00:47Besides that, don't do it at all.
00:49What are we supposed to do?
00:51You won't let us be on the roof anymore.
00:55Hey, Laura.
00:56What happened?
00:57Don't worry, she's okay.
00:59These two knuckleheads decided to sled down the staircase.
01:02Why would you let them do that?
01:03No, don't blame me. I wasn't even in the room.
01:05You left the girls unsupervised?
01:07Well, they were playing.
01:09Come on, I can't watch them every second.
01:11Why not?
01:12I look after Juanita when she's at my house,
01:14and she goes home without a scratch.
01:16Only because she's indestructible.
01:18Honey, do that thing where you run into the wall.
01:20Watch, it's hilarious.
01:22You're pretty cavalier considering your carelessness almost killed my daughter.
01:30I gotta say, Laura, you're kind of a wet blanket since you quit smoking.
01:35Why don't you try a pipe?
01:36And I've gotta say, Gabby, I think you're a lousy mother.
01:42Did you just say that to my face?
01:43Yes, and I'm afraid I won't be bringing my daughter here anymore.
01:46The safety and well-being of my child must come first.
01:49Fine. Juanita only had Rachel over because she felt sorry for her.
01:53It was a pity plea date.
01:55And of course this means Rachel won't be attending Juanita's birthday party.
02:00More cake for us. Beat it.
02:03Let's go, sweetie.
02:05Yes, it's in our nature to judge those around us.
02:10It's also in our nature...
02:12You know, if you'd taught your kid how to tough and roll on impact,
02:14we wouldn't even be having this conversation.
02:16...to blame someone else for our mistakes.
02:23It had been two weeks since Julie Meyer had been attacked.
02:28And when she came home from the hospital,
02:31the residents of Wisteria Lane were there to welcome her back.
02:36She was greeted by children who came with signs,
02:43housewives who came with desserts,
02:46and old friends who came with flowers.
02:52Also in the crowd was a new friend who came with an agenda.
03:00Great, Julie.
03:01I'm so glad you guys came.
03:03See you later.
03:03Bye.
03:04Hey, Julie.
03:12Welcome home.
03:17I'm so worried about you.
03:20Is there someplace we can go we can talk?
03:22No.
03:23We're not doing this anymore.
03:25Julie, please.
03:27Dominic.
03:28I'm sorry.
03:29It's over.
03:32Hey, Mrs. McCluskey.
03:44You're gonna have to do this.
03:45Great.
03:47Hi.
03:48I'm so sorry I'm late.
03:49I have three parties this weekend and I'm up to my elbows in canapes.
03:53Why isn't Katherine helping you?
03:54I had to let her go.
03:56What?
03:56You're kidding.
03:57We were working this event and she went berserk.
03:59And then when I fired her, she intentionally scratched my car.
04:03Wow.
04:04I flipped her the bird the other day after she cut me off.
04:06Won't make that mistake again.
04:08I think she needs help.
04:09I think she's a drama queen.
04:10But if she is in trouble and we don't do anything, it could be Mary Alice all over again.
04:15I don't know.
04:16Susan, what do you think?
04:17Well, I know she's going through a rough time, but I have trouble feeling sorry for her.
04:21I get that after that stunt she pulled at your wedding.
04:23True.
04:24And did you tell him about Katherine hitting on Mike?
04:27What?
04:27When did that happen?
04:34He didn't mention it, didn't he?
04:37Of course.
04:38Yeah.
04:38We laugh about it all the time.
04:42Oh, and look.
04:43There's Mike now and I could use good laugh.
04:46Would you excuse me?
04:49Sweetie, can I talk to you a second?
04:52If it was no big deal, why didn't you just tell me?
04:54Julie was in the hospital.
04:56I didn't tell you because I, crazy me, thought I might upset you.
04:59And here's why I'm upset.
05:00Because now I realize that Katherine is not hurting.
05:02She's plotting.
05:03So I'm going to go over there right now.
05:04No, Susan, you do not want to pour gasoline on this fire.
05:06Well, you're right.
05:07I want to pour gasoline on Katherine.
05:09And if you love me at all, you'll give me a match and an alibi.
05:11Honey, let her have her lies.
05:13Let her plot.
05:14You got nothing to worry about.
05:16You mean everything to me.
05:17And Katherine means nothing.
05:20That's sweet.
05:23I'm going to go tell her you said that.
05:25Get back here.
05:31Hey.
05:33Want to talk about this?
05:35Yeah, sure.
05:36Let's have a nice father-son chat about how you're cheating on mom.
05:41Do you know how stupid I felt?
05:44I got into a huge fight with Julie because I thought she was lying to me.
05:47That she was just telling me she had a boyfriend to blow me off.
05:49And I followed her home and it turns out she does have a boyfriend.
05:54You.
05:56I'm sorry.
05:58And for what it's worth, it's over.
06:03If I ever see you two together again, I'm going to tell mom.
06:14Want to tell your mother?
06:16Come on.
06:17Let's go.
06:17Right now.
06:18Come on.
06:20What?
06:21You think you can dangle that axe over my head?
06:24Then go for it.
06:27So you want mom to know...
06:30You want to destroy her life.
06:31Your mom finding out that I had an affair won't destroy her.
06:35But finding out that you knew about it?
06:36Yeah, that will.
06:37Yeah, I'm the bad guy.
06:40You think your mom was the perfect one in this marriage?
06:45There you two are.
06:46They're bringing out a cake for Julie.
06:51Everything okay out here?
06:55Yeah.
06:57Just having a little father-son chat.
06:59That's my boys.
07:01Oh, come on.
07:02They're cutting the cake.
07:20Come in.
07:22Hey, Karen.
07:23Lynette, when you've needed a favor from me, have I ever let you down?
07:27Last month we needed a sitter for Penny, but you didn't want to miss Oktoberfest.
07:31And just last Thursday...
07:32Okay, new way in.
07:33I've got a problem with Roy.
07:34He's been kind of down lately.
07:36Oh, what's wrong?
07:37He lives on a fixed income and he can't afford to pay for nice dinners.
07:40But when I pay, he sulks.
07:42He says I'm keeping him.
07:43Hell, at his age, he should be glad to have something keeping him besides formaldehyde.
07:47You know what I mean?
07:49And the favor would be...
07:50I was thinking maybe you and Tom could hire him for a few hours a week as a handyman.
07:56You know, so he'd have a little walking around money.
08:00Gee, oh no.
08:02Okay, girl talk time.
08:05When Roy's spirits are drooping, the problem is global.
08:08You get the picture?
08:10Getting the picture isn't the problem, it's getting rid of it.
08:13Oh, come on. Try him for one week.
08:14I'm only hesitant because he's your boyfriend.
08:17And I'd hate to risk straining a good friendship.
08:19Well, if I were that good a friend, would I be putting you in this awkward position?
08:24Excellent point.
08:26He's hired.
08:28Thanks. You'll never know what you've done for my sex life.
08:33Good.
08:43I love it that you do that.
08:44What?
08:45When I first brought you here, you didn't want to set foot in this room.
08:49And now you get sad every time we have to leave.
08:53Well, it's now our place.
08:55It's not what I would have chosen, but it's growing on me.
09:02I'm sorry. I thought you checked out.
09:04That's okay. We're just going. Tips on the dresser.
09:07Thank you, sir.
09:15Excuse me.
09:17I seem to have lost an earring. A little pearl stud.
09:19Oh, I can help you look for it.
09:25Hello?
09:27Oh, hi, Orson.
09:29No, I told you your gray suit is at the Taylor's.
09:33Where am I now?
09:35Oh, at the supermarket, getting us something for dinner.
09:39Oh, you already did all the shopping.
09:41Well, great. I will just put all this food away and come straight home.
09:45Bye.
09:46Hmm.
09:47Found it.
09:49It was buried in the sheets.
09:50Thank you very much. Let me get you a little something.
09:56Oh, my wallet's here somewhere.
09:58That's all right.
09:59I'm sure you're eager to get home to your husband.
10:13Oh, okay. Well, thanks for letting me know.
10:18What's wrong?
10:19Heidi Remmer just informed me her kid can't come on Saturday.
10:23She and Don are going to the nursing home to visit his mother.
10:26So why are you mad?
10:26Because it's a lie. Heidi hates his mother.
10:29She wouldn't cross the street to visit that drooling fossil.
10:32And that's the third cancellation I've gotten today, and every excuse has been a crock.
10:36Why would people lie to get out of a kid's party?
10:38Because Laura Miller's out there spreading her poison.
10:40She's telling every woman in the PTA their kids aren't safe in my house.
10:44And those house frow cronies of hers are lapping it up.
10:47Why, Anita will be heartbroken if no one comes to her party?
10:49Oh, no, no, no. They'll come. We just have to build it, that's all.
10:54This is about to cost me money, isn't it?
10:56Carlos, there are women out there who think I'm a bad mother.
10:59It is your job to support me. Now just shut up and fork over some cash.
11:03Wouldn't it be easier to just watch the kids while they play?
11:07Did you just say that to my face?
11:12Here. Take the whole wallet.
11:18Voila. Grilled langoustine. Your favorite.
11:21How very thoughtful of you, Orson.
11:23Well, they weren't easy to find.
11:25The man at one store tried to sell me shrimp.
11:27And when I tried to explain the difference, he gave me an argument.
11:31What is it? We're service people these days.
11:33They used to be polite and deferential.
11:36Now they just sneer right in your face.
11:39It's intolerable.
11:40Well, I wouldn't let it spoil a nice dinner.
11:42Sorry. I had a very irksome encounter myself today.
11:45Really? Where?
11:47At a cafe.
11:51I was having lunch and this waitress was rude and superior.
11:55Superior? To you?
11:57Well, you should have whipped out a copy of your best-selling cookbook like you did last week in the
12:01food court at the mall.
12:02Well, I doubt this woman would have been impressed.
12:05Really? Well, you sure put that pretzel vendor in his place.
12:07I was so startled. I didn't know what to say. I just let it go.
12:12Well, is this a cafe you frequent often?
12:15As often as I can.
12:17Well, next time you're in there, I think you should clear the air.
12:20Demand a little courtesy.
12:22Thank you, Orson. I think I may do that tomorrow.
12:26This is nice, isn't it? Sharing a meal, talking about our days.
12:31Why don't you pass on that cafe tomorrow and let me make you a nice salad or an omelet?
12:36Thank you, dear. But tomorrow, I'm planning on having something a bit spicier.
12:43Lynette, look what Roy did.
12:47Open, closed, open, closed. We don't need to use that spatula anymore.
12:51That's great!
12:52So, Roy, since you're so ingenious, how about you build some flower boxes for our bedroom windows?
12:58Well, our window if you want, but not the kids.
13:01Why not?
13:01Because they'll never water them.
13:02Well, I'll remind them.
13:04They can't keep a goldfish alive for more than one day.
13:06What makes you think they're going to take better care of geraniums?
13:08I don't know. I just know we're getting flower boxes.
13:12So, Roy, you could go ahead and get those started.
13:16Are you good with this, Mr. Scarbo?
13:20Sure. What the hell.
13:22Okay, I'll go measure the windows.
13:24Thanks, Roy.
13:28What was that?
13:29What?
13:30He just went over my head to you.
13:32I knew I liked that guy the minute he walked in.
13:36Look.
13:38Open, closed, open, closed.
13:47Hi, Laura.
13:48Kirsten, Heidi.
13:50Hi.
13:50Gabrielle.
13:51I'm glad you're here, Laura. I wanted to apologize.
13:54Things got a little heated the other day, and I think we both said some things we didn't mean.
13:57I appreciate that, Gabrielle.
13:59Good.
14:00Yeah.
14:02Now that that's behind us, if Rachel would like to come to Juanita's birthday party, we'd love to have her.
14:07Sorry, but I'm still not comfortable with that.
14:09Oh, that's a shame.
14:11We're gonna have face painting, and cotton candy machine, and a clown.
14:16A clown?
14:17Where's the clown?
14:18Oh, not here, sweetie.
14:20He'll be at Juanita's birthday party on Saturday.
14:22The one your mommy won't let you go to.
14:24I wanna go.
14:25Rachel will talk about it later.
14:28What are you doing, Gabby?
14:30Oh, I'm sorry.
14:30She asked me a question.
14:32I just answered it.
14:33For example, if she were to ask me if we were having a bouncy house, I'd have to say just
14:38the biggest bouncy house you've ever seen.
14:40Oh, bouncy house!
14:41I love bouncy house!
14:42Is the clown gonna be in the bouncy house?
14:45Maybe, but you'll never know.
14:48Gabrielle, please.
14:49You're right.
14:50I'm sorry.
14:51This is cruel.
14:52Come on, Juanita.
14:53We gotta buy bananas.
14:54The people at your party are gonna want something to feed the monkey.
14:57A monkey!
14:58A monkey!
14:59A monkey!
15:01We'll talk about it later!
15:02We'll talk about it later!
15:04We'll talk about it later!
15:05We'll talk about it later!
15:06We'll talk about it later!
15:10We'll talk about it later!
15:11Excuse me.
15:14Did you need something in your room?
15:16Uh, no, I'm not checked in.
15:17I came here to see you.
15:20I don't have any weed, lady.
15:21Sorry?
15:23All you ladies with a nice car thinks anyone who talks like this must have ganja to sell.
15:28I am not here to buy ganja.
15:30I came about yesterday.
15:31I appreciated you finding my earring, but I didn't care for your attitude.
15:36It was very insulting.
15:38Did I say one crossword to you?
15:40You didn't need to.
15:42Your disdain was perfectly clear from the look you gave me.
15:45And there it is again.
15:48I have twelve rooms to do.
15:49I don't have time to argue.
15:51Fine.
15:51Then I'll help.
15:56Lady, please.
15:57I won't look at you no more, okay?
15:59I'm just saying, you shouldn't make snap judgments about people.
16:03You see I'm having an affair and you just assume I'm a bad person.
16:06I'm not a dope fiend.
16:08If you knew more about my marriage, you'd see me very differently.
16:13I don't need to know about your marriage.
16:15If you're going to form opinions about it, then yes, you do.
16:19My husband is a controlling ex-con.
16:22I begged him for a divorce, but he won't let me go.
16:25I'm practically his prisoner.
16:26Your husband's a good man.
16:27You know nothing about him.
16:29I know he does your shopping for you.
16:32When you lied to him on the phone, told him you were at the grocery store.
16:36He said he already went.
16:37And your point is?
16:39You know what I would give to have a man do my shopping for me?
16:41Make my life a little bit easier.
16:44And you're not even grateful.
16:45You're just sneaking off here to do the nasty with your boyfriend.
16:48Who are you to judge me?
16:50You can't even make hospital corners.
16:52What do you want me to say, lady, huh?
16:53That cheating's not a sin when you do it in pearls.
16:58Now, unless you want to start on the toilet, I think we're done.
17:13Wow.
17:14These flower boxes are really coming along.
17:17If you have a moment, no rush, would you hang this bird house for me?
17:21I was thinking on that big tree.
17:23Got it.
17:24Oh, thanks.
17:27Roy, over there, that tree.
17:30Yeah, I was talking to Tom about it this morning and he wants it over here.
17:34Okay.
17:35Well, that's probably because he forgot the sprinklers go off over there.
17:39So, do me a favor and hang it in that tree.
17:51Well, she's telling me she wants it on the other side of the yard.
17:58Roy.
17:59Got to go.
18:01Boy, you're everywhere.
18:03We should get you a bell.
18:05Why are you calling Tom?
18:06To make sure he's okay with where you want to hang this thing.
18:09I mean, he is the man of the house.
18:12Okay.
18:13I know, since you're using a cell phone, you know what century it is.
18:16But just to clarify, you don't have to keep checking with Tom.
18:19I made plenty of decisions around here.
18:21I noticed.
18:23I just prefer to treat the guy with a little respect.
18:26Excuse me?
18:27Just because you like crunching his walnuts doesn't mean I do.
18:31I beg your pardon.
18:33His walnuts are completely intact.
18:35And you know what?
18:35I think we are done here.
18:37You can go.
18:38I'm as soon as I hang this birdhouse.
18:40Oh, and he said he doesn't care where it is, so you win.
18:43Again.
18:44This isn't about winning and I just fired you so you can go home.
18:49No.
18:50I promised Tom I'd do this and I'm doing it.
18:52You know.
19:00I'd clean that up.
19:01But you just fired me.
19:15Oh my God.
19:16I'm so sorry.
19:17I thought you saw me.
19:19No.
19:19Uh.
19:20No.
19:20No.
19:21It's okay.
19:22I was just...
19:24Yeah, I should have realized I'm sorry.
19:28I guess you heard that after it happened some people thought that...
19:32No.
19:32Um.
19:33I know it wasn't you, Danny.
19:40That night we argued.
19:41You said you were seeing a guy.
19:45You think maybe he had something to do with it?
19:48Um.
19:48I thought about it.
19:50But no.
19:51He's not that kind of guy.
19:54So you have no idea?
19:55I wish I did.
19:57I haven't been able to sleep.
19:59Every time I'm about to close my eyes, I'm afraid I'll be there when I wake up.
20:04You know what?
20:07I think I might have something to help.
20:23Thank you all for volunteering.
20:26Here's the thing.
20:27Whoever attacked Julie is still out there.
20:28So it's up to us to look out for each other.
20:31Which is where the neighborhood watch comes in.
20:34So Susan's gonna talk to you about patrol duty.
20:37Susan.
20:42Susan.
20:49What is she patrolling for?
20:51These tonsils.
20:56Um.
20:57We still need people for 9 to midnight on Thursday.
21:00Any volunteers?
21:04I'll take the runway.
21:08Um.
21:09Okay.
21:09We have Mona Clark.
21:13And...
21:13Irma Pritchett.
21:17No one else?
21:20Okay.
21:21Meeting adjourned.
21:23There's coffee.
21:24Back in the kitchen.
21:29This bridge has got a clogged shower drain.
21:31I promised I'd fix it.
21:37I don't think she saw that one.
21:38You wanna do it again?
21:39I'll see you at home.
21:44Susan.
21:45A word.
21:47Did you not see my hand up?
21:49I was trying to volunteer.
21:51I saw.
21:52I was just trying to pick the people who I thought could best protect our neighborhood.
21:57So you picked Irma Pritchett?
21:58Her son is in a nursing home.
22:01Yes, Catherine. Irma is old.
22:03But she's not a big fat liar.
22:06Excuse me?
22:09Well, are you not going around saying that my husband hit on you?
22:14Susan.
22:16I know you're under a terrible strain.
22:19But do you really think it's a good idea to air your dirty laundry in front of all these people?
22:26You're the one with dirty laundry.
22:27My laundry is clean, folded, and put away, you loon.
22:31Um, girls? Everything alright here?
22:33No. It's not.
22:35First she calls me a liar.
22:38And now I'm a loon.
22:39Okay, you all heard the things she was saying.
22:42You saw the way she acted at my wedding.
22:43Not everyone was invited to your wedding.
22:46Geez, Mona, you're like a dog with a bone. Let it go.
22:48I understand why you're upset.
22:51I'd be on edge too if my marriage were having problems.
22:53Okay, Mike and I are perfectly happy and the only problem we have is you.
22:57So stay out of our lies or you'll be sorry.
23:01Well, if you two are so happy, then where did he just disappear too?
23:05He's snaking a lady's drain, okay?
23:11And yes, I realize how that sounded.
23:13Get your minds out of the gutter.
23:23Okay, Rachel, have fun.
23:25Coco the clown will make you any balloon animal you want.
23:28You know, maybe I should stay for a little while.
23:30Oh, come on. I'm watching them. I've got everything under control.
23:34Will you be here?
23:40Can you believe her?
23:41I'm a good mom, aren't I? People trust me.
23:43Hey, I brought my kid, didn't I?
23:45Yes, you did.
23:47Wait, you're staying.
23:49I'll get a drink.
23:54Hi, sweetie. What's the matter? Aren't you having a good time?
23:57The man is putting the monkey away.
23:59He said he was too tired to play anymore.
24:02Oh, I don't think so. That ape is on the clock to four.
24:06Hey, what gives?
24:08Sorry, Mr. Phibbs did two shows yesterday. He needs a nap.
24:11No way. I paid for two hours of monkey. I want two hours of monkey.
24:15Let him go. I can do the gig alone.
24:17No offense, Coco, but I need this to be the greatest party ever.
24:20And your act isn't exactly zinging the kids.
24:22Hey, I killed at your other kids' party.
24:24Those kids were three. These are seven-year-olds. The big time.
24:28Crappy balloon animals ain't gonna cut it. We need the monkey.
24:30Lady, he's tired.
24:32Well, then give him some banana-flavored coffee.
24:34You screw me on this, and I swear, Phibbs will never work in this town again.
24:46Come in.
24:49You call for a light bulb?
24:50The bedside lamp.
24:58I saw you pull in an hour ago. Your gentleman friend stand you up?
25:03Sorry to disappoint you, but he just called. He's on his way.
25:06Hmm. That's nice.
25:10Well, if you finish your magazine, there's a Bible in the nightstand.
25:15Tell me something. Did he cheat on you just once? Or did he do it all the time?
25:22Who?
25:24I've been wondering what makes a woman so quick to judge anyone who has an affair.
25:27And I think I know.
25:30Your husband cheated on you, didn't he?
25:43My husband was the best man that I ever knew.
25:48But a good man wasn't good enough for me.
25:52I was like you.
25:53I wanted fun, excitement.
25:55So I found myself a boyfriend.
25:58Good-looking guy. Sexy.
26:01And we had ourselves a real good time.
26:03You having a good time, lady?
26:06Yes, I am.
26:09Enjoy it while it lasts.
26:12It didn't last long for me.
26:14And when it was done, I had no husband and no boyfriend.
26:21So now I'm cleaning rooms.
26:23Every day I see women in here acting just as stupid as I was.
26:28I don't say a word to them.
26:29I just give them a look.
26:35Well, I'm sorry your affair ended so badly.
26:39That doesn't mean that mine will.
26:57You seem like a nice lady.
27:00Don't you ever feel guilty?
27:02No.
27:10Yes, all right.
27:12Yes, I feel guilty all the time.
27:17You don't know what it's like when I come home.
27:20When my husband's at the door.
27:23And there's such love in his eyes.
27:26Such...
27:27Hope.
27:30And I want to shake him and say,
27:31Stop it.
27:32Stop loving me.
27:34I'm not worth it anymore.
27:38Don't you want to be worth it again?
27:44Anne.
27:44I'm so sorry.
27:47Is there some kind of problem?
27:51No, sir.
27:53Just turning on a light.
28:04There you are.
28:06Now it's a kids party.
28:11You still mad about Laura?
28:14Party's a success.
28:15Kids are having a great time.
28:16We're drinking margaritas.
28:17What's not to likey?
28:20You know what?
28:21You're right.
28:22I won.
28:24Laura and her stuck-up posse thought her kids weren't safe at my house.
28:27I've shown them the best time they're going to have all year.
28:31Hey, Gabby.
28:32I know they're loud.
28:33Kids, the dog's talking!
28:34No, I think that there's a problem.
28:36MJ?
28:36MJ, what's going on?
28:37The monkey's killing the clown.
28:47I've got to get my tranquilizer gun.
28:50I told you he needed a nap.
28:51He was already on edge and then that damn clown popped a balloon in his face.
28:56Oh.
29:03Oh.
29:08Laura, I was here every minute.
29:09It's not my fault they sent us a homicidal monkey.
29:12Well, the important part is the kids had a good time and created lifelong memories.
29:16Oh.
29:22Great!
29:23You forgot your goodie bag!
29:29So, I still don't get why you fired Roy.
29:31I mean, he was put in the birdhouse where you wanted it, right?
29:34It's not about that.
29:35He said I emasculate you.
29:38He said that?
29:38Well, not in those words.
29:40He went with a more colorful, nut-cracking analogy.
29:43He is funny.
29:45He is not funny.
29:46And this would be a really good place for you to jump in and tell me I'm not a castrating
29:49bitch.
29:50Sure.
29:51Just put down the knife first.
29:54Wow.
29:55We are not laughing at this at all, huh?
29:56No.
29:57Oh, come on.
29:57Babe, we're great.
29:58You know that.
29:59What do you care what he thinks?
30:02I don't care.
30:03It's just, it bugs me that he's judging me.
30:07What are you doing with that?
30:09I thought I barbecued some chicken.
30:11Mmm.
30:11It's almost dinner time and that's still frozen.
30:14Just get some burgers from the garage.
30:16I got it.
30:30Hey, Roy.
30:32Can I talk to you?
30:33Sure thing, Pally.
30:35Here, take a load off.
30:38If it's about me getting into it with your wife, though, I have to stop you first and say I'm
30:44sorry.
30:45Well, thanks.
30:45I mean, I know times have changed, but a man's still a man.
30:50And you deserve to have your wife respect you.
30:53She respects me plenty, Roy.
30:58Here's the thing you gotta understand about Lynette.
31:04She grew up without her dad.
31:06Her mom was a drinker, so she had to be responsible for everyone.
31:10Yeah, well, that's rough.
31:11Yeah.
31:13It left her with this constant fear that everything could suddenly fall apart.
31:20And that's why she needs to control everything.
31:23Of course, she can't.
31:26Nobody can.
31:28But...
31:29She can control me.
31:33If I let her.
31:36So I do.
31:39Because it makes her feel safe.
31:44And that is my job.
31:47As her husband.
31:50To make her feel safe.
31:58You're the best, Cabo.
32:02I try.
32:04Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a hamburger to fetch.
32:16Stop beating yourself up.
32:18It wasn't that bad.
32:20Carlos, a monkey almost killed a clown.
32:23That is the definition of a bad children's party.
32:26Oh, man.
32:30Laura's right.
32:31I'm a terrible mom.
32:32Hey.
32:33Come here.
32:37Look.
32:39I am no expert at raising children.
32:42All I know is,
32:43when all those other kids ran screaming to their moms,
32:47wanting to jump to the bouncy house and zipped it up,
32:49and Celia played dead.
32:51Those girls are smart.
32:53Yeah, they were quick on their feet, weren't they?
32:55Which they wouldn't be if you'd been hovering all over them their whole lives.
32:59They have learned to be independent and resourceful,
33:02and that is thanks to your negligence.
33:04Oh, so sweet.
33:08That better not be the good suitcase!
33:14Mom!
33:15Julie?
33:17Julie?
33:21Get Mike.
33:22He's on the job. What's going on?
33:23Somebody is outside.
33:25Oh, my God. What is that?
33:27It's a gun.
33:28Where did you get that?
33:29Give that to me.
33:30What are you thinking?
33:32Oh!
33:33It's loaded, right?
33:43I have a gun!
33:44I've called the police! They'll be here any minute!
33:55Oh!
33:57Oh!
33:59Oh!
34:03Oh!
34:03Oh!
34:04Oh!
34:04Oh!
34:05You shot me!
34:06Oh!
34:07Oh!
34:10Oh, my God, Catherine! The gun just went off! Are you alright?
34:13You tried to kill me.
34:15Okay, I just shot you.
34:16Let's not be throwing accusations around.
34:18It looks like it just grazed your shoulder.
34:20There's hardly any blood.
34:21What happened?
34:22Susan shot me.
34:23Called the police.
34:24I told you she was going to snap.
34:25It's always the pretty ones.
34:26It was an accident.
34:27Bob, I want you to be my lawyer.
34:29No, no.
34:29I called Bob as my lawyer.
34:31We heard a gun go off.
34:33Susan shot me.
34:35Susan?
34:36I didn't know it was her.
34:39What were you doing sneaking around my house?
34:41I was on neighborhood watch.
34:42You didn't have an assigned shift.
34:43Tom Scavo had to study.
34:45He asked me to fill in.
34:46Well, you should have checked with me.
34:49That's what I was trying to do when you shot me.
34:51All right, all right.
34:51Everybody, just calm down.
34:53I'm going to go call an ambulance.
34:56Perhaps we should unload this before someone else gets hurt.
35:00Three, dear.
35:10Susan just shot Catherine Mayfair.
35:11What?
35:12She's okay, but she's just freaked out.
35:15Huh?
35:16I never pegged Susan as a gun owner.
35:18Oh, crap.
35:21That's our gun.
35:22I gave it to Julie.
35:23What?
35:24Why?
35:25She was scared.
35:26She wanted protection.
35:27That gun is under our real name.
35:29If they trace that back to us...
35:31But we are not going to let that happen.
35:35You're going to jail for this.
35:37Everyone heard you threaten me at that meeting.
35:39I have witnesses.
35:40Oh, please.
35:41If I were going to kill you, I wouldn't do it in my own front yard.
35:44I'd sneak into your house and shoot you while you were asleep.
35:50Not that I would ever do that.
35:53Catherine, where are you going?
35:55Home.
35:56To call the police.
36:01Hey, Catherine.
36:02The ambulance is on its way, but I brought a first aid kit.
36:05Why don't you let me clean you up and then you can call?
36:09Ow, ow!
36:11Just leave it.
36:13Hand me the phone.
36:14I want to call the police.
36:16Dumb move, Catherine.
36:18What?
36:21Listen to me.
36:22You a mic?
36:24I see it, too.
36:28Those looks he gives you, he's still crazy about you.
36:32I know.
36:34So?
36:35Use your head.
36:36You want to call the police and have the mother of his kid carted off to jail?
36:40Don't be stupid.
36:41High road all the way.
36:44That's a good point.
36:46Mm-hmm.
36:47And besides, you walk around with a bandage on your shoulder for a few days,
36:50she looks like a monster,
36:52and you come off looking like a saint.
37:00So how we doing here?
37:01I'm fine.
37:06Yeah.
37:08I don't think we'll be needing that ambulance anymore, hmm?
37:11I'm telling you, you can totally see her eyes.
37:15So am I going to jail?
37:16Nah, she's not calling anybody.
37:18She was a little worked up.
37:19We talked.
37:20It's gonna be okay.
37:29It is in our nature to judge the people around us.
37:34If they ignore our wishes,
37:36we believe they are disrespectful.
37:40If they don't watch their children,
37:43we conclude they are unfit parents.
37:48If we catch them cheating,
37:50we assume we know their reasons.
37:55But what happens when we finally stop for a moment to judge our own lives?
38:02It can be painful to step back and see what we've been doing.
38:10And even more painful to realize,
38:13we have no intention of stopping.