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Time Travel TV
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Transcript
00:00:08You
00:03:59Yeah, you know, the sacred junk.
00:04:02You mean sagrado.
00:04:04Yeah, right, right, sagrado.
00:04:08There's still a cable with a ridge, but it's the cable of Culebra.
00:04:12Culebra?
00:04:13Culebra?
00:04:14Culebra?
00:04:17Culebra?
00:04:18No, no, no.
00:04:20No, no, no.
00:04:42First, the sun is high, the sun is high, now the moon is low.
00:04:44What's with the double talk.
00:05:03What's with the double talk?
00:05:11No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:05:45Get off me!
00:05:46Guy, can I have any piece in this house?
00:05:50Hey, hey, give me your love today.
00:05:52Hey, hey, give me good love and okay.
00:05:56Hey, hey!
00:05:58Hey, hey, hey.
00:06:01Hey, hey, give me good love and okay.
00:06:09Jerry!
00:06:11Jerry!
00:06:15Jerry!
00:06:18Don't go thrombo, man.
00:06:20Elvis is dead, Jerry.
00:06:23So is that rock, Dad, but I still love him.
00:06:25What'd you find?
00:06:27More fossils.
00:06:28Go get your sister and come help me.
00:06:40Listen, Pulera speaks.
00:06:43Why don't you cut it out with the hocus pocus?
00:06:45I thought you were a modern engine.
00:06:47I am not an engine.
00:06:50I am third generation.
00:06:51Yeah, whatever, look.
00:06:53Here, there's another 50 bucks.
00:06:55Show me the cave.
00:06:56You've insulted my land and my people.
00:06:59Get off your high horse and take the half yard and come on, let's go!
00:07:02No.
00:07:03Whoa!
00:07:04You go.
00:07:04Okay.
00:07:05The tour is over.
00:07:06Okay.
00:07:07Vamos.
00:07:07Yeah, okay, I'm going.
00:07:08Vamos!
00:07:09Hey, people are touchy, aren't you?
00:07:11Come on, we're to South America for what?
00:07:13For what you're crummy rocks?
00:07:14You know, okay, okay.
00:07:23Let's go.
00:07:49Dad?
00:07:50Huh?
00:07:52You ever think about Mom?
00:07:56Yeah, all the time.
00:07:58Me too.
00:08:03Hand me that brush, son.
00:08:14Think she's in heaven?
00:08:17Yep.
00:08:18Probably having coffee and donuts with Elvis.
00:08:22Who do you think missers are the most?
00:08:25Well, I don't know.
00:08:27This pretty little lady named Ruby.
00:08:30Yes, yes.
00:08:32It's a girl.
00:08:32Do you love Ruby?
00:08:35Yeah, like a rock.
00:08:38Then why'd you give her puppies away?
00:08:44Times are hard, Jerry.
00:08:46There's no way we can afford to have five more animals around here.
00:08:50I think she misses...
00:08:52I think it...
00:08:53Daddy?
00:08:55Nope.
00:08:56I didn't even ask you anything.
00:08:58You're not going anywhere in that get-up.
00:09:00She looks like Madonna and Heat.
00:09:02Shut up, you little dweeb.
00:09:03Monica, it's a school night.
00:09:05I did all my homework.
00:09:07Please, Daddy?
00:09:09I don't like you running around with that older crowd.
00:09:13It's just Spike and Rusty.
00:09:14You know who's Spike and Rusty.
00:09:16Whatever happened to brain-dead Danny?
00:09:19You're just jealous because you don't have any friends.
00:09:21And he knows, no.
00:09:22But you're not going out on a school night.
00:09:25Fine.
00:09:26Fine.
00:09:27I hate this stupid farm.
00:09:34Don't feel bad.
00:09:36Mom couldn't handle her either.
00:09:38Who says I can't handle her?
00:09:41I can handle her.
00:09:57I can't handle him.
00:10:04I can't handle her.
00:10:41Open sesame, baby snakes.
00:11:02Don't you jokers sneak up on me like that again.
00:11:05You hear me?
00:11:07You hear me?
00:11:10I didn't hear that.
00:11:13Maybe they put something in my Gatorade.
00:11:16Nah.
00:11:18The little savages wouldn't have a gut.
00:11:24Uh-uh.
00:11:25It's finished.
00:11:53That gave me a heart attack.
00:12:08Oh, man.
00:12:10Looks like a meat locker in here.
00:12:29Bingo.
00:12:35Would you be quiet, you dumb bud?
00:12:43Did you forget your key?
00:12:46Daddy, I...
00:12:47You're in big trouble, Missy.
00:12:53I've got a bunch of rinks.
00:12:54I'm not gonna be a mystery.
00:12:57Yeah.
00:13:06I can't be a dwarf baby.
00:13:10I can't be, like, bling.
00:13:11I can't be, like, bling.
00:13:18I can't be.
00:13:18I can't be.
00:13:19I can't be a monster.
00:13:19I can't be abee if he can't be.
00:13:19I can't be an enemy.
00:13:25I guess you kind of caught me with my hand in the cookie jar, huh, Jeffy?
00:13:28Put them back.
00:13:29The souls of my ancestors cry out for your blood.
00:13:35Ignore it, Jeffy.
00:13:36They're dead guys.
00:13:37Look, what do you say we catch these eggs and we'll split it even, Stephen, huh?
00:13:41More dice.
00:13:43Put them back.
00:13:45Slow and nice.
00:13:47Take it easy with a knife, okay, please?
00:13:51How come these eggs are so small, Jeffy?
00:13:56Many million moons ago, the Sanaculebra came down from the mountains
00:14:00and presented these small mutant eggs to the Tulupos tribe before he died.
00:14:05He promised that if we kept them cold and sacred, that no harm would ever come to our people.
00:14:11These are not just eggs.
00:14:15They are symbols of eternal life.
00:14:17Uh-huh.
00:14:19Thanks for the history lesson, amigo.
00:14:21Hasta luego.
00:14:35Dad?
00:14:36What do you think he'll get for your date this time?
00:14:38For a dog.
00:14:39What'd you say?
00:14:40Nothing.
00:14:41Good.
00:14:42What?
00:14:42You got no say, young lady, after that stunt you pulled the other night.
00:14:46I want a life.
00:14:47I don't want to go to a dumb museum.
00:14:49I mean, why can't we ever go to Disneyland or something?
00:14:51I got some neat stuff at those Angel City exhibits.
00:14:54I am sick to death of those dirty rocks.
00:14:58Like I said, you have no say.
00:14:59You're on probation, young lady.
00:15:01Then I'm jumping bail.
00:15:02I'm running away.
00:15:03I want out.
00:15:06Open the door, Jer.
00:15:07What?
00:15:08Open the door.
00:15:09Your sister wants out.
00:15:10Daddy.
00:15:11There you go.
00:15:12Jump!
00:15:12Jump!
00:15:13Hey, cut it out!
00:15:14Should I give her the heave-hole?
00:15:15Don't touch me, little creep.
00:15:17All right, sit back and pipe down.
00:15:19Close the door, Jer.
00:15:22It's not funny.
00:15:24Come on.
00:15:35You know, whatever you think they're worth, ma'am.
00:15:39Vicki.
00:15:42Jeri, get Ruby away from there.
00:15:43Oh, she's okay.
00:15:44Ruby.
00:15:45Why are you all so nervous about everything?
00:15:47I'm not nervous.
00:15:49I've been coming in here for eight months,
00:15:51and you're still calling me ma'am.
00:15:54Have you...
00:15:57Have you, um, decided on a price?
00:16:00Would you relax?
00:16:01I'm not going to bite you.
00:16:03I know that.
00:16:10You have very pretty eyes, Mr. Taylor.
00:16:14It's Frank.
00:16:17So...
00:16:17Shall we take another look at what you got here?
00:16:20Frank?
00:16:23Absolutely.
00:16:28Oh, my.
00:16:30What?
00:16:31I think you got an as you write here.
00:16:35Is that good?
00:16:37It's great.
00:16:41Hey, Dad.
00:16:42You should see the dorky shirt Monica got.
00:16:45No, it's not.
00:16:46It's really cool, Daddy.
00:16:47See?
00:16:47Say hello to the nice lady kids.
00:16:49Hi, Mickey.
00:16:52Hi.
00:16:53You want us to get lost?
00:16:55No, no.
00:16:56We're just talking about rocks.
00:16:58He's getting ripped off.
00:17:00Shut up.
00:17:02Hey, welcome back, Mr. Sarno.
00:17:04Hey, what's going on, sweetheart?
00:17:05Mr. Sarno, you remember the Taylors?
00:17:08Hi, folks.
00:17:08Get away from us, people!
00:17:10Mr. Sarno.
00:17:14Usual price.
00:17:15Yeah, but Mr. Taylor has some new as you writes.
00:17:18It's still dino poop, Vicki.
00:17:20Usual price.
00:17:23But...
00:17:28I'm sorry, Frank.
00:17:29It's the usual price.
00:17:32Whatever's fair.
00:17:33It's not fair.
00:17:35It's just the way it is.
00:17:37It's not your fault, Vicki.
00:17:40I'm gonna go talk to him.
00:17:41No, no, no.
00:17:42No, it's okay.
00:17:43No, it's not okay, Daddy.
00:17:45I know we saw an unbelievable-
00:17:47I said it was okay.
00:17:51You're a stubborn man, Frank.
00:17:54Proud, stubborn.
00:17:56You name it.
00:18:00Passionate?
00:18:03Sometimes.
00:18:06When?
00:18:09Daddy, are we gonna hang out in this boneyard all day?
00:18:12We haven't seen the tear-dact exhibit yet.
00:18:14What do you do?
00:18:15Can we please blow this messy pop stand?
00:18:17Keep your shirts on. We're going.
00:18:18No one.
00:18:19Oh, I'm sorry.
00:18:20I'll go get your chin.
00:18:22Vicki?
00:18:22Yes.
00:18:26Um...
00:18:29Um, nothing.
00:18:32Daddy!
00:18:35Get the cooler!
00:18:36Jerry, get the cooler.
00:18:39Ruby, get the cooler.
00:18:58Sam!
00:18:59Sam!
00:19:00Sam!
00:19:00You wouldn't believe me if I did tell you.
00:19:02No, I can't spill it to the papers right now, because it is big.
00:19:06Big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big.
00:19:08Radio City Music Hall, big.
00:19:11What are you looking at?
00:19:12I didn't say anything.
00:19:13Yeah, but you were thinking something.
00:19:15What were we talking about, Sam?
00:19:16Oh, yeah.
00:19:17Yeah, no, no, no, no.
00:19:18It's bigger than sunken ships.
00:19:20Look, I don't want to get pre-hysterical here, but I think I'm going to change the course
00:19:23of natural history.
00:19:24No, you're going to have to read about it in the funny papers.
00:19:27Toodles.
00:19:30Have a good trip?
00:19:32I found the Holy Grail, and I ain't whistling, Dixie.
00:19:37Do you want some water?
00:19:39No.
00:19:40Oh, you'd like to see me choke, wouldn't you?
00:19:41Hey, I didn't say that.
00:19:43Yeah, but you were thinking it.
00:19:44No, sir, what I was thinking is that you're being a little rude to the tailors.
00:19:48Who?
00:19:51Oh, them.
00:19:52Oh, screw them.
00:19:53I got bigger fish to fry.
00:20:18And you're going to keep theigram.
00:20:22Hey, man.
00:20:25Shut up.
00:20:26Make meire sick.
00:20:28What's stealing your beans?
00:20:29Getting pretty cozy with Professor Cupcakes, huh?
00:20:35Honey, we're just friends.
00:20:38Leave him alone.
00:20:38He's horny.
00:20:42hey hey what did i do
00:20:50i'm gonna be a very very rich man can i go no go get the cooler i'm gonna crack open
00:21:00this
00:21:00little bottle of champagne and you and i are gonna drink a toast
00:21:18what's taking so long i'm dying of thirst in here
00:21:25is that sam simon from the times in the phone flesh i could hear the spit running down his
00:21:31gin what's in this thing a cure for cancer
00:21:36you're thinking small my dear what are you talking about drink up honey pie salute right
00:21:46open it behold i give you prehistoric life a turkey bone
00:21:55what the hell is this turkey bones sandwiches
00:22:03wait a minute this isn't my cooler my babies where are my babies
00:22:34did you bring the cooler in no
00:22:39monica
00:22:43what
00:22:46get enough to eat there
00:22:53it's a gold monster squash it dad
00:22:56you are such an immature specimen
00:23:00where's the cooler monica
00:23:03i don't know that was barf boy's job
00:23:06well it's not the truck and it doesn't have any legs so obviously it didn't walk off on its own
00:23:13daddy it's getting cold
00:23:14keep looking that was a fifty dollar cooler
00:23:18maybe it popped out when you hit the tracks back there
00:23:21my face is turning into plaster of paris
00:23:24i didn't hit those tracks that hard
00:23:27dad have you seen ruby
00:24:00Oh, hello, Mona.
00:24:02Monica?
00:24:03Whatever. Is your daddy home?
00:24:04Wait here.
00:24:20Ah, Mr. Taylor.
00:24:21What can I do for you?
00:24:23Well, there's been a slight little mix-up.
00:24:25And what might that be?
00:24:26Uh, well, I believe I have something of yours, and I think that you have something in mind.
00:24:30Great. We have been looking all over all night for this. Thank you. Thank you very much.
00:24:34Sure.
00:24:34Oh, what a sweet young thing.
00:24:37Excuse me. I have to go wash my hair.
00:24:39Lovely, child. Okay, where is it?
00:24:41Pardon?
00:24:42Don't get cute with me. Where's my cooler?
00:24:45Your cooler.
00:24:46Hand it over, farm boy!
00:24:48Hey, I don't like your tone, and I don't know what you're talking about, mister.
00:24:51Sorry, I'm sorry. I've just, uh, I've just lost something very, very precious to me.
00:24:55Something you can't put a price tag on. Here's 200 bucks. Give me.
00:24:57Give you what?
00:24:58Look, I'm sure it was all perfectly innocent on your part, but your family has mistaken my cooler for yours.
00:25:03Uh, by accident, of course.
00:25:04That's possible. We look high and low for that, but...
00:25:06Give you 300.
00:25:08It's not a question of money, Mr. Sarno. Good night.
00:25:32Will somebody shut that pooch up before I go crazy?
00:25:37Could you feed her, Jared?
00:25:38No.
00:25:55What's with her?
00:25:58Maybe she's in heat.
00:26:01I guess we'd better keep her down there for a while.
00:26:03That Anderson Spaniel's been hanging around here again.
00:26:05Oh, please don't let her be preggers again.
00:26:07That last letter we gave away almost broke her heart.
00:26:09So what do you care?
00:26:12I care.
00:26:17All right.
00:26:19I got it down.
00:26:20I'm feeling it.
00:26:28Job time, Ruby.
00:26:30I know.
00:26:34I'm feeling it.
00:26:46Oh.
00:26:55Oh!
00:26:56Oh!
00:27:07Ruby, did you hatch these guys?
00:27:13Psh!
00:27:13Psh!
00:27:16Ow!
00:27:18Look at this mess.
00:27:22Let's try some dog food.
00:27:29How about you?
00:27:34You?
00:27:40Tryin' the store's freks.
00:27:44The king!
00:27:47Elvis!
00:27:57I know how it is, Elvis.
00:28:00I know how it is, Elvis.
00:28:00I'm a meat and potatoes man, too.
00:28:01I know what do you do?
00:28:29Are you sleeping, Elvis?
00:28:32He's asleep.
00:28:40How'd you sleep?
00:29:08How'd you sleep?
00:29:11Wait.
00:29:15Where's the flighty one?
00:29:25Oh, great.
00:29:28Me.
00:29:29My turn.
00:29:30It's always my turn.
00:29:31I've done this BS faithfully for five years.
00:29:34I'm so sick of it.
00:29:39Daddy!
00:29:41Geez, was that a bat?
00:29:43Good God, it had a nose like my math teacher.
00:29:47Just stay calm.
00:29:48Mom.
00:29:59Oh, great.
00:30:01Monica!
00:30:03She's gonna rattle me.
00:30:06Keep them in here for...
00:30:09Keep them in here for...
00:30:36Sorry, Chili.
00:30:56Hold it, babe.
00:30:58I just had that fender restrung.
00:31:00Get off me.
00:31:01I'm gonna kill this thing.
00:31:03No, you're not.
00:31:03It's Ruby's kid.
00:31:04What?
00:31:06What was that?
00:31:09Honey, we got company.
00:31:14Come on.
00:31:16I don't like this.
00:31:18Stop acting like a girl.
00:31:20I am a girl, Demi.
00:31:23Look, they're gonna be more scared of you than you are of them.
00:31:41See?
00:31:43See?
00:31:57They're so nice.
00:32:14Elvis!
00:32:17Say howdy.
00:32:18She just got kissed on the tush by the king.
00:32:21Get that beast away from me.
00:32:24Watch your tongue, sis.
00:32:26Elvis just needs a little meat.
00:32:28Right, Elvis?
00:32:34They can't be going to eat Monica's blood, Elvis.
00:32:38Look at indigestion.
00:32:41Or brain damage.
00:32:44Let's see.
00:32:49Not lamb chops.
00:32:52That'll skin me alive.
00:32:59What about some bologna?
00:33:05Elvis.
00:33:13Don't go messing with my cookies, man.
00:33:16It's for dessert.
00:33:27Watch the fingers, Godzilla.
00:33:35You're invading my space.
00:33:40Ruby, do something!
00:33:50You're kind of cute.
00:34:00I can barely hear you, Mr. Sarno.
00:34:05Those double-dealing sons of crooks!
00:34:08The tailors are good and honest.
00:34:10Those dirt farmers led me on a wild goose chase.
00:34:13You didn't find your cooler?
00:34:15Yeah.
00:34:15Yeah, I got the cooler.
00:34:16I got it in my hip pocket.
00:34:17No!
00:34:17I do not have the cooler!
00:34:19I went robbers.
00:34:21I went robbers.
00:34:23I went robbers.
00:34:25I went robbers.
00:34:50I went robbers.
00:34:52I went robbers.
00:34:53I went robbers.
00:34:53I went robbers.
00:34:53I went robbers.
00:34:54How about I tell daddy about your little friends?
00:34:57All right.
00:35:01The Stegosaurus is Jadar.
00:35:04Fine, but the Brachiosaurus Paula...
00:35:10...and the Chasmo is Hammer.
00:35:25The king disagrees, man.
00:35:27The Stegosaurus.
00:35:33Jerry?
00:36:04Jerry?
00:36:06Open this door.
00:36:09Monica?
00:36:11What's going on?
00:36:14Who locked this door?
00:36:19Just make sure Madonna stays down here.
00:36:32Why is this door locked?
00:36:34There's a lot of crazies out there, Dad.
00:36:36This is a farm, Jerry. We're in the middle of nowhere.
00:36:38You kids tell me that all the time.
00:36:40It can happen anywhere.
00:36:42What can happen anywhere?
00:36:44Axe murder.
00:36:46They get you in your sleep.
00:36:49So what's going on, Jerry?
00:36:51Nothing.
00:36:52How's the racing game coming?
00:36:55Where's Monica?
00:36:57Downstairs, taking care of Ruby.
00:36:59That dog's got hormones popping left and right.
00:37:03Monica!
00:37:05Monica!
00:37:06She's just feeding Ruby.
00:37:07Monica!
00:37:08She's just feeding Ruby.
00:37:09Hi, Daddy.
00:37:10What are you doing in there?
00:37:12Feeding Ruby.
00:37:13Keeping her out of trouble.
00:37:15Isn't that what you want?
00:37:17I want you two to hightail it up to the living room.
00:37:20Because I know when you're up to something and you're going to sit down and you're going to tell me
00:37:23what it is.
00:37:30Working late, Miss Vicki.
00:37:31Oh, God.
00:37:32Why do you scare the bejesus out of me?
00:37:34I'm sorry.
00:37:35I didn't mean to.
00:37:36What are you still doing here?
00:37:38My job.
00:37:40Whitey, I've got to ask you a question.
00:37:42Now, don't take this wrong, but we're missing a cooler from the lab and I was just wondering if...
00:37:48Well, I do take it wrong, Miss Vicki.
00:37:50I clean and watch over this place like it was my own child.
00:37:54I've been working here for over 20 years and I've never taken so much as a tissue.
00:38:00I'm sorry, Whitey.
00:38:01I didn't mean to insult you.
00:38:03It's just that Mr. Sarno's breathing down my neck about this.
00:38:07I'm embarrassed I even brought it up.
00:38:09You're the only honest Joe in this whole place.
00:38:12I knew it!
00:38:13I knew it was Whitey.
00:38:14Good job, Vic.
00:38:15Rico, no!
00:38:16Get his legs.
00:38:17Sir.
00:38:17Call the law, Vicki.
00:38:18Sir.
00:38:19Stop it, Rico!
00:38:21You're going to jail, scub monkey.
00:38:22Sir!
00:38:23Call the cops!
00:38:25Ow!
00:38:28Whitey, are you okay?
00:38:30Yeah.
00:38:31What about me?
00:38:32You need a long rest, Rico.
00:38:35I'm sorry, sir.
00:38:36I know, I know.
00:38:37I'm fired.
00:38:39I'll see you tomorrow.
00:38:42What are you looking at?
00:38:44Nothing.
00:38:46Absolutely nothing.
00:38:47Oh.
00:38:48Is that another one of your little wisecracks?
00:38:50He's a sweet old man.
00:38:51He'd steal plastic forks at a company picnic.
00:38:54Your mind is going.
00:38:56Is it?
00:38:57And where were you when the cat was away?
00:38:59Making like a mouse?
00:39:00What?
00:39:02Oh, you're the only one left, Vicki.
00:39:03It's just you and you alone all by yourself, right?
00:39:06Mr. Sarno, I never touched your precious little cooler.
00:39:10How do I know that?
00:39:11I don't know that.
00:39:12I didn't take it.
00:39:14I could have your little archeological grant taken away like that.
00:39:17You are really losing it, Rico.
00:39:19Yeah?
00:39:19I'll show you losing it.
00:39:24I know when someone's lying to me.
00:39:25I can tell by their eyes, and you two are lying.
00:39:28About what, Dad?
00:39:29We'd never lie to you, Daddy.
00:39:32Do you think I'm a fool?
00:39:34Do you think I am some Rube who just fell off the raisin truck?
00:39:37No, Daddy.
00:39:39We don't know what you're talking about, Pop.
00:39:42Oh, you don't, huh?
00:39:45Ruby's pregnant, isn't she?
00:39:47What?
00:39:48You heard me.
00:39:50I told you to keep her away from that Anderson spaniel.
00:39:52Dad.
00:39:53Dad!
00:39:54Ruby's not pregnant.
00:39:56Oh, she isn't, huh?
00:39:58No, but we think you should consider it.
00:40:00She's real lonely.
00:40:03Not a chance.
00:40:04It's not fair to Ruby keeping her cooped up down there like that.
00:40:07She has rights, too.
00:40:09Yeah.
00:40:10If Monica was in heat, you wouldn't lock her down there.
00:40:12Don't help me.
00:40:13Go to K-Mart and get yourself an IQ.
00:40:15Well, that's a good one coming from Miss 55 in science.
00:40:18You're so dense.
00:40:20All right, cut it out.
00:40:21We have been through this a hundred times.
00:40:23We have plenty of pets around here.
00:40:24Okay.
00:40:25Okay.
00:40:26Now, if I hear one more word about this, I'm gonna have that dog...
00:40:32Okay?
00:40:34Do I hear okay?
00:40:36Yeah.
00:40:38Okay, then.
00:40:40Go to your rooms.
00:40:52Tell me I don't know how to handle them.
00:40:54I know how to handle them.
00:41:26You're so toxic.
00:41:28Thank you very much.
00:41:32How can you go again when she's catalcon?
00:41:33I want to know how to handle it.
00:41:33I love my computer.
00:41:34T trimps.
00:41:39And you can keep an intense idea of having a full plate for процесс choosing tendliest stage.
00:41:42where are my keys where is my cooler how many times do i have to tell you i don't know
00:41:50round and round we go where we stop nobody knows i don't have your cooler okay
00:41:56you're a lying deceitful little tramp your breath is killing me
00:42:01where is it impossible i got keys to jingle jangle jingle give them here up girl god you're a sick
00:42:08puppy rico oh get out of my way you're not going anywhere else i get my cooler back are you
00:42:15gonna
00:42:15get out of my way well you just got a little bit too greedy for your own good i am
00:42:20warning you rico
00:42:21oh i'm scared vicky i'm so scared
00:42:41oh boy
00:42:43oh boy
00:42:47oh boy
00:42:57oh
00:44:02Monica! Jerry! Get down here on the double!
00:44:18What in the hell is this? It almost bit my head off.
00:44:21I wish you wouldn't do that. What'd you all do?
00:44:26Jerry?
00:44:28He's the new king, Dad.
00:44:30What's going on? Where in the sand hell did you find these things?
00:44:34In the cellar.
00:44:36Well, that's where we keep them, Daddy.
00:44:38It's no big deal, Dad.
00:44:42You two have some explaining to do.
00:44:44And it better be good.
00:44:48Now, get these things out of here. Pronto!
00:44:53Yes, Dad.
00:45:14Me. Always me.
00:45:16When am I, the maid?
00:45:28What?
00:45:29Ah!
00:45:43Bye.
00:45:59why can't we keep them dad you lied to me jere that cooler was down here the whole time wasn't
00:46:06i didn't take it ruby took it those animals belong to mr sarno ruby hatched them mr sarno
00:46:13couldn't do that doesn't that kind of make them her babies fix the latch jere come back to work
00:46:28princess yes sir stick and span we're still missing the flying one have you seen it
00:46:37not a sign daddy
00:46:42what was that car pulling out
00:46:52shh
00:46:53shh
00:47:11hi
00:47:12vicky what's wrong
00:47:14i i think i'm in big trouble why he just kept coming at me and coming at me so i
00:47:21hit him
00:47:22i hit him hard in a hunk of bedrock what you killed fred flinstone this isn't funny i think i
00:47:31hurt sarno
00:47:33well that's good
00:47:36this was a mistake i shouldn't have come here you don't give a rat's tale about me
00:47:40come in the house no why not give me my keys
00:47:46heal ruby give me my keys back what keys
00:48:01stay cool i'll bust you out of this joint in no time
00:48:04jerry
00:48:21jerry
00:48:39what's she doing here she this she has a name young lady hello monica
00:48:49you look like you got a kiss of the ti blues
00:48:54do i
00:48:57tell her about the cooler jerry
00:48:58don't do it she'll rat us out mind your tongue young lady what was in
00:49:03the cooler jerry
00:49:04oh
00:49:13oh
00:49:35you mean funny looking little creatures
00:49:39like mutated dinosaurs like mutated dinosaurs no these are dinosaurs what did daddy just say
00:49:47that's impossible they look pretty real to me frank dinosaurs haven't been around for 65
00:49:54million years well they're back man and they're looking for trouble hey cut the elvis act huh we're
00:50:00gonna work this out
00:50:04can i see them
00:50:15come on elvis come on elvis come on elvis this isn't normal they can do major damage
00:50:20what are we gonna do put them on a leash hey look at them you're sure they're cute
00:50:25come on come on come on all right
00:50:30i gotta pay the bills am i right
00:50:33you okay
00:50:48say hi to elvis vicky dude he loves a ladies man
00:50:56get that crocodile away from her nose i thought she might like to meet the new king
00:51:01i don't trust that one oh frank i think i'd like to take a look at it why it's but
00:51:06ugly
00:51:07you're hurting the king's feelings oh frank can i just please take a closer look at it
00:51:15see oh i'm not going to hurt you these things were over 40 feet long and seven tons the biggest
00:51:23terrestrial carnivore that ever lived i guess we got the runs of the litter
00:51:32they're a reverse hybridization of the species frank it must have been frozen in those eggs for ages
00:51:38they're awfully small but they're still the real deal sort of a a darwinian redo we told you
00:51:49oh gosh frank you cannot give these back to sarna but they're his eggs so give him the shells
00:51:55there you go dad it's all settled elvis and the sidekick stay it's not right frank i am telling you
00:52:02sarna will put them in a circus or he'll ship them off to hollywood those should be five giant dollar
00:52:15signs okay monica call her off come to mama
00:52:23that's a good material girl
00:52:42yes son just want to say good night dad oh good night i'll see you in the morning bye-bye
00:52:48mind if i say good night to vicky good night jerry good night vicky
00:52:57okay everybody said good night to everybody else so good night don't let the bed bugs
00:53:02wait a minute where's your sister i don't know in bed i guess good night
00:53:12i'm sorry i guess monica forgot her manners oh you don't have to apologize
00:53:19your kids are adorable when you want them you can have them you don't mean that
00:53:29you want you want another drink oh no i should get going you're not going anywhere well i can't stay
00:53:39here please please i don't want anything to happen to you
00:53:47thank you
00:53:50i'll sleep on the couch
00:54:06frank frank
00:54:11all right i heard that monica oh frank frank frank it's okay i won't have that nosy bird poking
00:54:18its beak into my business now that one gets locked up with the others tomorrow frank they're not zoo
00:54:23animals i can't have those varmints running wild on my place frank frank you worry too much yeah
00:54:30mm-hmm
00:54:35oh
00:55:10morning
00:55:12morning
00:55:14nice underwear
00:55:16huh
00:55:18those black hearts
00:55:20they're raisins
00:55:22nice
00:55:26the kids gave them to me
00:55:31very nice
00:55:32you should be very proud
00:55:35are you making fun of my skivvies
00:55:37me
00:55:40good morning sweetie
00:55:43is she gonna finish her little project sometime this month
00:55:48i can't babysit these things forever you know
00:55:52i'll be done soon
00:55:54why don't you just put them inside
00:55:55why don't you
00:56:01monica
00:56:02monica come back here
00:56:07i'll go talk to her
00:56:09don't you think you should put on some pants first
00:56:13i'm not the bashful type
00:56:19could have fooled me
00:56:39i'll be fine
00:56:40hi
00:56:41and
00:56:42i'll be fine
00:56:47i'll be fine
00:56:53Where are you going?
00:56:55Your bended brother should watch where he leaves his toys.
00:56:58Danny, what are you doing up before 3 p.m.?
00:57:03You are so fresh, I had to see my lady love.
00:57:08No, this is...
00:57:09Awesome gizmo.
00:57:10Where's the batteries?
00:57:13Oh, cool, it talks.
00:57:16Danny, this is a real dinosaur.
00:57:18Ah, sure it is.
00:57:21So, you busy tonight?
00:57:25It is. Now get out of here, my father hates you.
00:57:29Oh, chill, crumb cakes. I'm in love.
00:57:33Beat it. Can I have a word with you?
00:57:35Your dad's half naked. Nice gams, Mr. T.
00:57:38I see where your daughter gets her legs.
00:57:40Daddy, you remember Brandon, Danny?
00:57:43I said beat it.
00:57:47Looks like I've been moated, hon.
00:57:49I'll call you later.
00:57:50Absolutely.
00:57:52Ciao, little dude.
00:57:55Peace.
00:58:03Hello, farm boy.
00:58:05Whoa! Caught you with your pants down, huh?
00:58:07Did you have a nice little roll in the hay, did you?
00:58:11What do you want, Sarno?
00:58:13You know what I want, Woodhick.
00:58:14I want my babies back, and I want them now.
00:58:20What babies?
00:58:22Play dumb with me, and I'll spill your brains like a box of your raisins.
00:58:26Sick of you.
00:58:28I don't want anyone else to get hurt, alright?
00:58:29Yeah? Well, you and I are gonna turn this cheese box upside down!
00:58:32They're not in there!
00:58:33Yeah, right!
00:58:35I knew they were here!
00:58:39Don't put your teeth on me!
00:58:41Babies don't like you?
00:58:42Yeah, they do! They're just being playful!
00:58:44Get away from me!
00:58:46Jerry, who's gone?
00:58:47Where's my gun?
00:58:53I don't like you either.
00:58:54Don't push me, please!
00:58:55You broke the law!
00:58:56You like threatening women a little bit?
00:58:58Hey, wait a minute! She was asking for it!
00:58:59Turn around!
00:59:00Huh?
00:59:00Turn around and bend over!
00:59:02What do you think you're...
00:59:03Okay.
00:59:04Oh, God!
00:59:06Now, crawl back to your car!
00:59:08Are you out of your stick of mine?
00:59:10Watch me crawl!
00:59:11Oh, man! This is really humiliating!
00:59:14They're my babies, not yours!
00:59:16I'll be back!
00:59:18Maybe not!
00:59:20Oh, mate!
00:59:22Get off my land!
00:59:23What?
00:59:26You got a real attitude problem, raisin' breath!
00:59:32Daddy, I heard a shot!
00:59:34What's going on?
00:59:36Nothing. I just ran off a... chicken thief.
00:59:42What?
00:59:42What?
00:59:51What?
00:59:51Here. There you go.
00:59:53Oh, you're such a cute little dino.
00:59:57How do you like your new home, hmm?
00:59:59How do you like it?
01:00:01Oh, I bet you like it.
01:00:03Oh, there you go.
01:00:05Oh, sweetie.
01:00:06Hi.
01:00:07Here you go.
01:00:08Are you happy here?
01:00:13Oops.
01:00:14You don't eat leaves.
01:00:16Sorry.
01:00:39This is excellent, Vicki.
01:00:42Thanks.
01:00:44Grape leaves are very good.
01:00:48Monica.
01:00:49What?
01:00:50You haven't touched yours.
01:00:51I'm not hungry.
01:00:52Monica.
01:00:54All eaters.
01:00:55You would.
01:00:56I would.
01:01:01I'll put yours in the fridge, how's that?
01:01:04May I be excused?
01:01:08Monica, please.
01:01:10Let her go, Frank.
01:01:12Ditto.
01:01:14Fine. Fine. You're excused.
01:01:17No excuse for you, Cheryl.
01:01:22What crawled under her armpit?
01:01:29I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about you. What's bugging you?
01:01:32Nothing.
01:01:34Don't tell me it's nothing when I know it's something.
01:01:37I don't want to talk about it.
01:01:39Ever since you were four years old, you and I could talk about anything.
01:01:42Times change. I don't have anything to say.
01:01:45Well, I do.
01:01:46Go talk to your girlfriend, your little scientist babe.
01:01:49Are you jealous of her?
01:01:50That's sick.
01:01:52Monica.
01:01:52No.
01:01:55You'll always be daddy's girl. You know that.
01:01:57What about mom, huh?
01:02:01Your mother's been dead for two and a half years, sweetie.
01:02:06Don't you ever think about her?
01:02:09I dream about her every night.
01:02:12And in that dream, she's still alive.
01:02:14But by the end, she's gone.
01:02:17And I have to go through it all over again.
01:02:28I have the same dream.
01:02:32I'm sorry, daddy. I just don't want a new mom.
01:02:36He's not gonna be your new mom.
01:02:37She's my friend.
01:02:39I mean, if brain-dead Danny were to pass away, you'd want a new boyfriend someday, wouldn't you?
01:02:46I want a new boyfriend now.
01:02:47I want a new boyfriend now.
01:02:48I want a new boyfriend, man.
01:03:08I want a new boyfriend, man.
01:03:15I don't know.
01:03:15I don't know.
01:03:17It's probably you.
01:03:18Hey, I didn't do it.
01:03:20Well, I didn't do it.
01:03:21Well, I didn't do it.
01:03:23Well, I didn't do it.
01:03:25Hey, Mr. Sarno.
01:03:27I smell something.
01:03:28Did you do it?
01:03:30It's cow duty, you nitwits.
01:03:31Just keep your eyes peeled for a blue farmhouse.
01:03:36Pardon me, excuse me, Mr. Sarno.
01:03:38Is a farmhouse the same as a ranchhouse?
01:03:41A thousand apiece for these two.
01:03:44So, they're like dinosaurs, but they're not real.
01:03:46Are they real dinosaurs, Mr. Sarno?
01:03:48Yes.
01:03:48Yes, Lewis.
01:03:49They're deformed lizards.
01:03:51Hey, speaking of deformed, I knew this hunchback in the sixth grade.
01:03:55You can imagine when this guy had an itch.
01:03:58Hey, oh.
01:03:59You gotta be kidding me.
01:04:00You graduated sixth grade?
01:04:02Oh, no.
01:04:03He missed it by three days.
01:04:04You believe that?
01:04:05He, uh, stabbed our teacher with a chisel.
01:04:08Yeah, cry, baby.
01:04:09I mean, right?
01:04:09It was just a chisel.
01:04:10Hey, hey, you shut up and listen, okay?
01:04:13You gotta treat these peaches with kid gloves.
01:04:15They get a little nasty sometimes.
01:04:16Hey, some lizard bites me.
01:04:18I'll grind them up into a pair of shoes.
01:04:19Bada bing, bada boom.
01:04:21You touch a scale of their skin, and I'm gonna grind the two of you up.
01:04:24They're worth millions of...
01:04:27Of?
01:04:32Of dollars, Mr. Sarno?
01:04:35We're almost there.
01:04:37You know, I'm thinking here, Mr. Sarno, if they're worth millions of dollars,
01:04:41then me and Richie should get, like, um, $1,200 apiece.
01:04:45Am I right, Richie?
01:04:46Absolutely.
01:04:46More than $1,000 in spades.
01:04:48That is for sure.
01:04:50Listen!
01:04:50We made a deal, and a deal's a deal.
01:04:52Otherwise, you two will never work in this town again.
01:04:55See what you almost did, Richie?
01:04:56Hey, I didn't do nothing.
01:05:05Here we go.
01:05:07Here we go.
01:05:14Here we go.
01:05:25It looks like a boat.
01:05:27It looks like a boat.
01:05:27lady. Let's get going, brain dad. That's my name. Don't wear it out. Oh, those are
01:05:35babitching the threads, Monica. Just drive. I'm the only one in 10th grade who's got a
01:05:44license. Is that why you go out with me? No. It's because you're 16 and real smart.
01:05:57Slow down, Einstein. What's he doing back here? You're those dudes. You're not
01:06:08cheating on me, are you? Just shut up and turn around, dummy. Hey, no reason to bag me
01:06:14out. Your wish is my command, my highness.
01:06:29Give me that. Give me that. See you later, Richie. You're so stupid. Yeah, well, you're
01:06:35a close bond. Hey, get out of here, boys.
01:06:37Play that. Good day, my friend. Can I help you? Could I perhaps interest you in some Girl
01:06:52Scout cookies? Is this a joke? Scouting is not a joke, sir. It keeps the little tarts
01:06:58off the street. Well, I don't think so. Get the dog. Mr. Sano, what if he bites me? Then
01:07:08bite him back. What do you think I'm paying you 1,000 bucks for? You know, I was thinking
01:07:11I think we should get at least 1,100 for this. I'll give you 1,500. Just tie up the
01:07:16stinking
01:07:16dog. Where are the cookies? Sorry, no free samples.
01:07:32Doggy, shut up. Doggy, you're a nice dog. You're not a much. You're a good dog.
01:07:37Doggy, you're a good dog. Hey, what are you doing to my dog? Hey, watch the hair. Watch
01:07:50the hair. Leave it alone, Rico. Back off, Judas. Dad, if you take them out of this habitat,
01:07:55they'll die. You have your chance for the piece of the pie. I'm going to get my baby.
01:07:59Dad! You can't do that. Hey! Oh, God, they're no good to you. Get off me,
01:08:16Jezebel. Hey! Get down. Come on. Come on. Hey, boss, what do you want me to do with this?
01:08:25What do you want me to do with this? Put him in the cage. He was just a little boy.
01:08:30The dino, you're not him. I thought you said they were some lizards.
01:08:33Just do it!
01:08:35Just do it!
01:08:37All right, put it down. Okay. Okay.
01:08:40Daddy!
01:08:41Daddy! Jerry!
01:08:51Where's my little angel? Where's my bird of flight?
01:08:54Oh, you're a regular poet.
01:08:57Hey! Hey! Hey!
01:08:58Hey, this pamphlet cost me six bucks. What's wrong with you people?
01:09:01I swear I'm going to rip his little beak off.
01:09:03Who's going to rip his little beak off?
01:09:05It's a she, a crux.
01:09:08I got a headache, Mr. Sono. Can we go now?
01:09:11Yes! Yes! Bless you. Good timing, Lewis.
01:09:14Get the brachiosaurus, Richie.
01:09:15You got it, Mr. Sono. Which one is it?
01:09:17Try the one that's loose.
01:09:18You know, Mr. Sono, I don't think it's going to work. Look at this neck here.
01:09:21Just stuff him in there.
01:09:22Come on, Richie. Let's go.
01:09:25Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Where's my angel?
01:09:28Where's my little angel?
01:09:29Hey, fortify big bags, Mr. Sono.
01:09:32Shut up.
01:09:33Mr. Sono, you want I should plug the dog?
01:09:35No!
01:09:37Rico, that dog is like a mother to them.
01:09:39What are you, death? I said shut up!
01:09:42Oh, man, I gotta think.
01:09:45Lewis, grab the mutt. The rest of them, they're expendable.
01:09:47Rico, the dinosaurs will all die, but I can keep them alive.
01:09:52Okay, okay. Turn around.
01:09:59I want you sharecroppers to count to 500.
01:10:01If you don't, if you follow us, I'll kill the new lady of the house.
01:10:06I'll kill her. I'll kill her dead!
01:10:14Get the dog, Lunkhead.
01:10:15It's okay. It's okay. Come in, don't go.
01:10:19Today!
01:10:23Mr. Sono, this dog, he likes me.
01:10:28I'm sure that I didn't plug you.
01:10:31Truck!
01:10:33Mr. Sono, Richie's sitting here.
01:10:35Shut up!
01:10:38425.
01:10:42426.
01:10:44500! You count like an old lady.
01:10:46All right, don't move.
01:10:50Come on, Dad. Let's call the fuzz.
01:10:52I said don't move.
01:10:54Yeah, you wanna get Vicki killed, Jerry?
01:10:56Since when do you care?
01:10:57I care.
01:10:59All right, we're going to the house real slow.
01:11:02Stay behind me.
01:11:14Can we turn the heat down or nacho too, Mr. Sono?
01:11:17No.
01:11:18It's like a steam bath in here, Mr. Sono.
01:11:20Those reptiles need a 99 degree temperature.
01:11:24We're riding in the traveling sauna circus here without the three rings.
01:11:29Shut up and sweat.
01:11:30I mean it, Mr. Sono. I'm gonna pass out.
01:11:32Then do it, punk.
01:11:33Look, maybe we should just get them some water.
01:11:37Richie?
01:11:38Oh dear, Mr. Sono.
01:11:39No.
01:11:40It's okay.
01:11:41You just, you'll be okay, Louis.
01:11:43Just take little baby breaths.
01:11:46That's it.
01:11:59Come on, eat.
01:12:00We got grapes to pick.
01:12:02What about your girl, Dad?
01:12:04Eat.
01:12:06Yeah, what about your girlfriend?
01:12:08Are we just gonna sit around here while she rots down there with that greedy slob?
01:12:13I did not slave over that stove so you two can jar yourselves to death.
01:12:18Paper says there's a big surprise exhibit at the Angel City Museum.
01:12:23Did I not tell you to eat?
01:12:24Now eat.
01:12:25I don't want to have to repeat myself.
01:12:32What about Ruby?
01:12:35Vicky will take care of Ruby.
01:12:39What about Elvis and the other little guys?
01:12:41What about them?
01:12:42They didn't belong to us.
01:12:44I told you that from the get-go.
01:12:46They don't belong to anybody, Daddy.
01:12:48They should all be free like Madonna.
01:12:51This just makes my skin crawl.
01:13:04Isn't that bending?
01:13:07Makes me sick.
01:13:16Uh-oh.
01:13:18Dad's got that look in his eye.
01:13:24Whoa, whoa.
01:13:25Love it.
01:13:25Rico, Rico, Rico.
01:13:27My name, don't wear it out.
01:13:28Okay, one question at a time, please.
01:13:31Can you give us a hint?
01:13:32Is it from the century?
01:13:33Cold.
01:13:33Very cold, Bob.
01:13:35Is it bigger than a bread basket?
01:13:37Maybe.
01:13:38Is it fish or fowl?
01:13:40Ooh, you getting warm there, Helen?
01:13:41Is it a whole flock of bald eagles?
01:13:43Be cold again.
01:13:46Miss Vicky, is it true that you were married to Tiny Tim?
01:13:49Get those tabloid slubs out of here.
01:13:51Hey, back.
01:13:52Back, back, back, back.
01:13:54Is it going to change the world forever?
01:13:57It's a reverse.
01:13:59No more questions.
01:14:00Spiritual.
01:14:02What did he say, huh?
01:14:03He said no more questions.
01:14:04Get out of here.
01:14:04Get out of here.
01:14:05Out, out, out, out, out.
01:14:07Out, out.
01:14:22But you promised me an exclusive, Rico.
01:14:24Get in line, newsmonger.
01:14:26This is bigger than you and me.
01:14:27But you promised.
01:14:29Keep your shirt on, Sandler.
01:14:30Shut up.
01:14:31Wait with the rest of the world.
01:14:32Geraldo, how are you?
01:14:55Testing.
01:14:56Testing.
01:14:57One, two, three.
01:14:58Even kids under 12 can't get in for free.
01:15:02Delirious.
01:15:02Aren't you?
01:15:03I can't wait.
01:15:05Neither can I.
01:15:06Pathetic peon.
01:15:16You going to kill him, Dad?
01:15:26Oh, hi there, Mr. T.
01:15:28Oh, hot damn.
01:15:30What's the wingspread on that squab?
01:15:34Hey, Whitey.
01:15:37He's late for the show.
01:15:40Where's Sarno?
01:15:42Oh, he's across the street doing his act.
01:16:02This won't take long.
01:16:09Uh, attention.
01:16:10Attention, please.
01:16:12Yes, uh, well, I'd like to thank you all for coming out today, and my lovely young assistant
01:16:17here and I have, well, we've discovered a, a renewal of life.
01:16:22No one is.
01:16:23No one is.
01:16:24No one is.
01:16:24It's a great one.
01:16:24Please, give a big hand to Miss Vicki Vandell.
01:16:29This is a beautiful way to go.
01:16:31Now, I would like to thank each, each and every one of you for coming out here today.
01:16:36What you're about to see is a labor of love.
01:16:39And I'd also like...
01:16:46Yeah, like I was saying, uh, life takes, uh, strange little turns.
01:16:50And once you think you've seen it all, kids.
01:16:53You ain't seen nothing yet.
01:16:56This moment of time will be spoken of in hushed tones of reverence.
01:17:03Behold!
01:17:05I give you prehistoric life!
01:17:22My babies.
01:17:24Where are my sugar babies?
01:17:35Where are my babies?
01:17:36Where are my sugar babies?
01:17:37Hey!
01:17:37Nobody walks out on me!
01:17:39Nobody!
01:17:43In here, kids.
01:17:50Pa!
01:17:54Hammer!
01:17:55Oh!
01:17:56Oh!
01:18:01Oh!
01:18:05Oh!
01:18:07Oh!
01:18:08Oh!
01:18:10Oh!
01:18:12Oh!
01:18:13Oh!
01:18:14Oh!
01:18:14Hey, Elvis!
01:18:15What?
01:18:15How you doing, Elvis?
01:18:16I miss you.
01:18:18Ha!
01:18:19Thank God!
01:18:21Got a minute?
01:18:22What?
01:18:22Got a minute.
01:18:24You did this to me.
01:18:26You stole!
01:18:27You're the thief!
01:18:28Not me!
01:18:29I'm the one who's trying to change the world!
01:18:31You!
01:18:32You!
01:18:32Whoa!
01:18:41So, do you love those punks as much as me?
01:18:44Your kids?
01:18:46No, the dinos.
01:18:49I'm getting there, Mr. Taylor.
01:18:51I'm getting there.
01:19:05It's a fine-looking family you've got there, Mr. T.
01:19:24That's a fine-looking family you've got there, Mr. T.
01:19:33Oh, Miss lady!
01:19:39See ya, Whitey!
01:19:40Philip C tipos looking away
01:19:47He's going to miss you at?
01:19:48He's going to miss you at her as well,, boy.
01:19:52Like a parent or sexuality, boy.
01:19:54Look back!
01:19:55Annoyism!
01:19:55See ya, Whitey!
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