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00:30:56Sally! Sally Jones! It is I, Haru!
00:30:59Haru? What are you doing here?
00:31:01You said that you were in need of a ninja.
00:31:03I have come many miles and now travel disguised as a pimp to help you.
00:31:12Just go away.
00:31:14Sally!
00:31:18I have come to rescue you.
00:31:19I don't need to be rescued. Just leave.
00:31:21Ah, I see. Very smart.
00:31:25For now, it is better that you play along with them, not let them know I am here.
00:31:30Here. Take this.
00:31:33I am very sorry to have to tell you this,
00:31:35but I have discovered that your boyfriend is a counterfeiter and a killer.
00:31:38And a man like that, you can be certain he is cheating on you, too.
00:31:42Do not despair, Sally Jones. I will be ever vigilant.
00:31:45I will be watching your every move, making sure that as the ca-
00:31:55I will be watching you.
00:31:57Hi.
00:31:58Oh, there you are.
00:32:00I will be watching you.
00:32:07Now we will see who is the hunter and who is the prey, Martin Tanley.
00:32:23Martin Tanley, you have left a trail a sloth could follow.
00:32:42Thanks for meeting us, Mr. Rosario.
00:32:44It is in both our interests to resolve our differences.
00:32:47And that we are in perfect agreement.
00:32:49Shall we cut the bullshit? How much do you want for your plates?
00:32:52I think you have it backwards, Mr. Tanley.
00:32:54It is the kobudasai who are going to buy your plates.
00:32:58Do you honestly think you can waltz in at the last moment, grab the plates and try and run the
00:33:02show?
00:33:03You don't have a choice, Mr. Tanley.
00:33:10I will know. I will do. I am one with the universe.
00:33:25Holy shit, Tom!
00:33:29I am one with the universe. I am one with the universe. I am one with the universe.
00:33:33I am one with the universe. I am one with the universe.
00:33:40No, I am not one with the universe.
00:33:48Let's discuss how much we're going to give you for your plates.
00:34:08I am too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt. So sexy, it hurts. I am too sexy
00:34:17for my land. Too sexy for my land. New York and Japan.
00:34:31I am too sexy for my pants. I am too sexy.
00:34:34I am too sexy for your party. Too sexy for your party. The way I am disco dancing. I am
00:34:40more than...
00:34:41Ah!
00:34:43No!
00:34:46Let me get off on the catwalk!
00:34:48Let me get off on the catwalk!
00:34:51Yeah, I'll get out!
00:34:53Get out!
00:35:00That's right, that's fair!
00:35:15Holy Shinto!
00:35:16Help!
00:35:17Police!
00:35:19No, no!
00:35:20I did not do it!
00:35:26Help!
00:35:31This is the site of what looks to be a gangland murder last night in Little Tokyo.
00:35:35Witnesses say the assailant had matching tattoos on his arms, and maybe what is called a ninja.
00:35:41He matches an Interpol description of a man wanted in Japan for murder.
00:35:56Keep practicing, Joey, and someday you will choke that chicken.
00:36:01Stay safe.
00:36:03Poor Swami, you were messing up and getting in the way all the time.
00:36:13Sensei.
00:36:14Meditate on me, Haru, and we'll meet on the plane of enlightenment.
00:36:26No!
00:36:27No!
00:36:28Oh!
00:36:29I must not, Sensei!
00:36:30I am one with the universe!
00:36:32I am one with the universe!
00:36:32Here, Haru!
00:36:33I am here!
00:36:34Oh, no!
00:36:35I hate this!
00:36:37Ah!
00:36:39Oh!
00:36:40Thank you, Sensei!
00:36:45Hello, my son.
00:36:46Hello, Sensei.
00:36:47There is a problem you are facing.
00:36:50Not really.
00:36:51It's just that I have been accused of another murder or two.
00:36:57Come home, Haru.
00:36:59I cannot, Sensei.
00:37:00I need your help in finding Sally Jones.
00:37:03I have considered several techniques.
00:37:06I could find the names of all the BMW sales in the last five years,
00:37:10checking on all the Joneses, then visiting them all, or...
00:37:15You could try a phone book.
00:37:18Oh, yes.
00:37:20A phone book.
00:37:22Then resume your quest.
00:37:24I will, Sensei.
00:37:32No!
00:38:11You thought perhaps an experienced ninja would not be ready for you.
00:38:20I am Haru of the Takagura Dojo.
00:38:23Do not forget that.
00:38:25Oh!
00:38:27Whoa!
00:38:34Peggy!
00:38:37Oh!
00:38:41Oh!
00:38:43Oh!
00:38:43What the hell?
00:38:44Oh!
00:38:46I lord!
00:38:50Oh, oh!
00:38:58I am Haru of the Takagura.
00:39:17Hello, Allison.
00:39:18Hi. Did Martin say we need to be back?
00:39:20No, he didn't.
00:39:21Well, that's strange. We had some business we're supposed to go over.
00:39:25Ah, it appears Sally is using your false name with these people as well.
00:39:31Very clever, Sally.
00:39:33You really should be a ninja.
00:39:43There is something wrong here.
00:39:46It seems as though I am the only one who is calling her Sally Jones.
00:39:53How could she do this to me?
00:40:00Everything is fine here. How about there?
00:40:02Outside looks good.
00:40:23Oh!
00:40:24Oh, God!
00:40:32Oh, God!
00:40:57Oh, not again.
00:41:00Okay.
00:41:02Up the rope.
00:41:40Heru, you!
00:41:42Heru?
00:41:44Do not move, Allison.
00:41:47Allison Page.
00:41:48You have to get out of here.
00:41:49The guards could come up here any second and they'll kill us both.
00:41:51You are a liar, Sally.
00:41:53Sally Jones.
00:41:54I'm sorry that I gave you a false name.
00:41:58Look, I only did it so that Tanley wouldn't discover that I hired you.
00:42:01Your lies bounce off me like ping-pong balls.
00:42:04I am not lying to you, Heru.
00:42:07In fact, I have you to thank for helping me.
00:42:09You found out what I needed to know.
00:42:12I did?
00:42:13Yes.
00:42:14Look.
00:42:16Look, my sister Carla worked for Tanley.
00:42:18Three months ago, she died mysteriously.
00:42:20I suspected Tanley, but I couldn't prove anything until you came along.
00:42:26But you are Tanley's girlfriend.
00:42:28You are in love with him.
00:42:29No, Heru.
00:42:30I only got involved with him so that I could find out what happened to Carla.
00:42:33He doesn't even know I'm her sister.
00:42:36I cannot tell the truth from the untruth.
00:42:44There's no time to argue.
00:42:45If I find the plates, I can put them away.
00:42:47You have to believe me.
00:42:48I do believe you.
00:42:50I have never stopped believing in you.
00:42:53You are not alone.
00:42:54The great white ninja is on your case.
00:42:56Thank you, Heru.
00:43:03Quick.
00:43:09Oh, no, no.
00:43:12Alice.
00:43:14Hi.
00:43:15What are you doing up here?
00:43:16Oh, I was looking for you.
00:43:18I thought that maybe I'd make lunch for you.
00:43:20Oh, aren't you the darling?
00:43:21I'm sorry.
00:43:22I'm late.
00:43:22I have a meeting I have to get to.
00:43:23Wait.
00:43:41Oh.
00:43:45Let me take you to the grill.
00:43:47Come on.
00:43:47It's your favorite restaurant.
00:43:48Really, I can't.
00:43:49Not today.
00:43:50I'm in a bit of a hurry.
00:43:57Hopefully, I'll see you later.
00:44:00Why don't you call one of your friends?
00:44:02Go on.
00:44:02Have a lovely afternoon.
00:44:03Since I can't be with you, take them out to lunch instead.
00:44:07Okay.
00:44:08Have a great meeting.
00:44:09Bye.
00:44:13Heru.
00:44:20Good job.
00:44:23I just don't know what to do.
00:44:24I've searched high and low, and I can't find those plates anywhere.
00:44:26Do not be disheartened, Allison.
00:44:28I know Tanley's next move.
00:44:32I have discovered his schedule in this date book.
00:44:37That's great.
00:44:50I have seen this.
00:44:52I have seen this.
00:44:55I have seen this.
00:44:56I have seen this.
00:44:57I have seen this before.
00:45:04I have seen this.
00:45:05You can't see this, man.
00:45:08It's got a great deal.
00:45:08I have seen this.
00:45:18Oh, oh
00:45:51Hey, okay.
00:46:09Hey! Hiya! Hiya!
00:46:12Oh, hey!
00:46:14Oh!
00:46:16Oh!
00:46:18Oh!
00:46:19Oh! I gotcha!
00:46:23Yeah!
00:46:25Oh!
00:46:26Hey! Look at that!
00:46:28Whoop!
00:46:30Word on the street is that what happened
00:46:32at the neon club could start a war.
00:46:34If they want a war, they can have a war.
00:46:36Do not underestimate the kobudo side.
00:46:38They're ruthless.
00:46:39We're not exactly kittens.
00:46:45You know what else?
00:46:47Oh!
00:47:08This ink specialist tomorrow, have you met him?
00:47:10No. Chet Walters.
00:47:12I'm told he's the best in the business.
00:47:14Girl, he better be.
00:47:16I want him to print the front half of the bill tomorrow.
00:47:18I want no complications.
00:47:20Tell me, what do you know about this ninja
00:47:21the police thing called Azura and the other kobudo side?
00:47:25I think we're lucky the police have another suspect.
00:47:27And a white ninja?
00:47:28Who ever heard of a white ninja?
00:47:30For God's sakes.
00:47:32Yeah!
00:47:37Tell me he's at the first table on the right.
00:47:43I'll be like.
00:47:45Hey, hoy.
00:47:48Ho.
00:47:51Come on!
00:47:57Allison?
00:47:58Hey!
00:48:03Wait, please, please, please, don't!
00:48:12Do you know how long it took me to do my prayer?
00:48:34Get out!
00:48:48Who is my dog?
00:48:50What the hell is she doing here?
00:48:58Oh my God!
00:49:01Hold up!
00:49:01Get out!
00:49:04I have learned how we will get to the plates!
00:49:06You have?
00:49:06Yes!
00:49:07That's great!
00:49:10Hurry up! They're coming!
00:49:12Do not be afraid! A ninja knows when he is in danger!
00:49:15Hurry up!
00:49:19Now we are engaged!
00:49:21We are really engaged!
00:49:33I'm one with the chicken! I'm one with the chicken!
00:49:35Keep practicing, Joey!
00:49:44Where?
00:49:45How?
00:49:45Mm-hmm!
00:49:51Thank you for letting me stay here, Haru!
00:49:54It is my pleasure, Allison.
00:49:56Besides, there is no place for you to go.
00:49:59You must stay here.
00:50:00Tanley will be watching her every move.
00:50:03Especially her apartment.
00:50:06You need not worry, Allison.
00:50:08I will protect you with all of my being.
00:50:13I'm so lucky I found you.
00:50:16You really are courageous.
00:50:17Oh, Allison.
00:50:19If only I had caught Tanley in Japan.
00:50:23Today you would be basking in the safety of our dojo.
00:50:26After a bath where I would bring you soap and sweet-smelling oils.
00:50:31That you could rub all over your body.
00:50:34And then...
00:50:37I am sorry.
00:50:38I got carried away.
00:50:41It's okay.
00:50:42Your loyalty is most appreciated.
00:50:47Well, I guess it's time to turn in.
00:50:49Yeah.
00:50:50Do you want to sleep on the bed or the couch?
00:50:53Which would you prefer?
00:50:55The couch is fine for me.
00:50:57Oh, that would be fine for me, too.
00:51:07Good night.
00:51:09Good night.
00:51:10I think we're alone now.
00:51:13I think we're alone now.
00:51:21I think we're alone now.
00:51:23Do not worry, my dove.
00:51:31He is simply an ink specialist.
00:51:32He will suspect nothing.
00:51:34As we talked about, you will distract him.
00:51:36And I will use the ninja sleep hold...
00:51:39To incapacitate him.
00:51:41Are you ready?
00:51:41Yeah, let's go.
00:51:47Hi.
00:51:48Hi there. How you folks doing?
00:51:49Welcome to Beverly Hills Banknote.
00:51:51I'm Chet Walters.
00:51:52Nice coat who shot the couch.
00:51:56Hey, I'm just kidding.
00:51:57What can I do you for?
00:51:58Well, actually, our car broke down.
00:52:00Would you mind if I used your phone?
00:52:02Oh, don't get me started on car problems.
00:52:04I got a 1975 Fairmont.
00:52:06I'm telling you.
00:52:07That thing's about as hard to turn over as me on Laguna Beach.
00:52:14I'm just bugging with you.
00:52:15Come on over here.
00:52:16Auto Club number is 555-9300.
00:52:21Yup, the AAA.
00:52:23You know, I knew a guy who started off in AAA, then ended up in AA.
00:52:27You got busted for DUI.
00:52:30Hello, is this the Auto Club?
00:52:33Buddy, what are you doing?
00:52:34Are you not familiar with the art of Shiatsu massage?
00:52:38Shiatsu?
00:52:39Watch your language, there's a lady present.
00:52:42You know, I remember when I was playing ball in Wisconsin,
00:52:44these two cheerleaders lathered me up like a witch.
00:52:4799!
00:52:48Get off me!
00:52:50Get off me!
00:52:51That's it, I'm calling the cops.
00:52:52Give me the phone.
00:52:54Wait!
00:52:58Not a ninja technique, but effective.
00:53:02Let's get him in the back.
00:53:08What are you doing?
00:53:09I am preparing one of our greatest ninja tools,
00:53:12the Laughing Mushroom.
00:53:13One pinch of this, and he cannot help but tell us the truth
00:53:16about his business with Danley.
00:53:18Careful, Allison.
00:53:19The effects of a tiny spore are profound.
00:53:22Open his mouth.
00:53:23Okay.
00:53:27Achoo!
00:53:34I'm involved in counterfeiting some money!
00:53:38Big deal!
00:53:41If I get caught, I could do 30 years.
00:53:46Wah!
00:53:51Danley is a killer!
00:53:53He killed her sister!
00:53:56When he's done, he'll probably kill you!
00:53:59You!
00:54:03When are you to meet him?
00:54:05Ten minutes!
00:54:06And if you're here when he gets here,
00:54:08he'll probably kill all of us!
00:54:10Ah!
00:54:19I'm going to arrest you!
00:54:21Hot- mänh.
00:54:31My Jet Council!
00:54:34Haru!
00:54:35I don't think we should.
00:54:36I'm sorry.
00:54:37I was, uh...
00:54:39I wasn't trying to...
00:54:41I was merely trying to get close to the temple, not inside.
00:54:45I wasn't...
00:54:47I just wanted to climb the steps
00:54:50and maybe peek at the sacred object.
00:54:54I didn't...
00:54:55I was...
00:55:06Hey, how you doing?
00:55:07Chet Walters, Mr. Tanley?
00:55:10Say, nice jacket.
00:55:11Who shot the couch?
00:55:12Very funny, Mr. Walters.
00:55:14Uh, you ready to go?
00:55:16You betcha!
00:55:17Say, your buggy or mine?
00:55:18Mine, I think.
00:55:19Okay.
00:55:21Whoa.
00:55:22Gotta get the gear here.
00:55:23Can't start an operation without the gear.
00:55:26And here we are.
00:55:27Up to the wild boo yonder.
00:55:29Mr. Walters, you don't mind, do you?
00:55:31A small precaution.
00:55:32Oh, mind?
00:55:33Hell no, I don't mind.
00:55:34It makes you feel more comfortable.
00:55:35I just want to know one thing.
00:55:36How are you going to drive with that on?
00:55:38It's for you.
00:55:39Right, of course it is.
00:55:40Hey, let's play pin the tail on the donkey.
00:55:42Who's got the pinata?
00:55:44You hear about the lady that backed into the van?
00:55:46Made a disaster.
00:55:47Dis-aster!
00:55:48Mr. Walters, I don't care.
00:55:50Okay, you bet.
00:55:51Gotcha!
00:55:52You betcha.
00:55:52All righty, here we go.
00:55:57Tanley, you pick up guys that do this all the time?
00:56:04Hey, who's driving this buggy?
00:56:05Anywho, huh?
00:56:06Let me guess.
00:56:07Don't tell me.
00:56:07Don't tell me, huh?
00:56:09Carol Channing.
00:56:14Anywho.
00:56:15Tanley, mind if I borrow one of these next week?
00:56:17I got a blind date.
00:56:18A blind date.
00:56:19Oh!
00:56:21Whoa!
00:56:22Wowzer!
00:56:23Hey, which way is he taking us?
00:56:24Through the Grand Canyon?
00:56:27What did he learn to drive?
00:56:28Cooking school?
00:56:34Oh, wowzer.
00:56:35Thank God we made it.
00:56:37Ow!
00:56:38Okay, let's take the blindfold off.
00:56:42That's what she said.
00:56:43She said.
00:56:46Don't you think I ought to do the work before you pay me?
00:56:50This is the real bill.
00:56:51I want you to make a printed proof copy of that by the end of the day.
00:56:53I want it exactly like this.
00:56:55Right.
00:56:56No problem, Mr. Tanley.
00:56:57Hold the phone a second.
00:57:00Whoa!
00:57:01All faithful.
00:57:07Oh, yeah.
00:57:09End of the day, huh?
00:57:10You sure you don't want it sooner?
00:57:11They don't call me the best for nothing, you know.
00:57:13Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:57:15Ha, ha, ha.
00:57:17Ha, ha, ha.
00:57:25I'm standing there in the phone speedo, hiking boots, and a backpack.
00:57:28Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:57:29You try catching a ride on A-Berg Avenue dressed like that in the middle of winter.
00:57:35Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:57:36Ow!
00:57:37What happened?
00:57:39Bug must have bit me.
00:57:42You know, I got a brother in pest control.
00:57:44I'll give you his number.
00:57:45You blindfold him, bring him on over.
00:57:47He'll nuke every last cockroach and mosquito in this dump.
00:57:49Could we please get to work?
00:57:52Okay.
00:57:54Hey, I see you got the T-200 split-level barb and rain printing press.
00:57:59These came out about the same time I was printing leaflets for the Shave the Whale campaign.
00:58:03You mean Save the Whale.
00:58:04Oh, is that what you did with them?
00:58:06No, but keep an eye on him.
00:58:08Maybe it was Starve the Whale.
00:58:10Starve the Whale.
00:58:17Okie dokie.
00:58:18Let's see what we got making in the oven.
00:58:23Ok.
00:58:25Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:29Not yet a match.
00:58:33Ok, well, it looks like we are one degree Celsius off on that magenta color.
00:58:41I guess I'm gonna have to, uh, quantify the 7F reading on this, and that would run it through with
00:58:47the surface gravity viscosity.
00:58:50Uh, I could plug it into the Marshall formula, and that would, uh, that would give me a more accurate
00:58:56mix design.
00:58:57To me, they're just a little bit off.
00:58:59What I could do on that is run a pap smear, uh, test, and then, uh, tone it down a
00:59:05little bit.
00:59:06Hello, Mr. Danley.
00:59:07What the hell is that?
00:59:10Now you can see what I'm up against.
00:59:13I've gotta rethink my inks.
00:59:15So, uh, what I could do is I could swing back to my shop and, uh, be gone not more
00:59:22than five minutes.
00:59:23Uh, you could blindfold me if you'd like.
00:59:25I kind of like that anyway.
00:59:26Ha!
00:59:27Ha!
00:59:27Ha!
00:59:27Ha!
00:59:27Ha!
00:59:27Ha!
00:59:27Ha!
00:59:27Ha!
00:59:28Ha!
00:59:31Ha!
00:59:31fit your brother's p.c., right in there.
00:59:32Who are you?
00:59:33Chet Walters, ink specialist.
00:59:39I am Haru of the Takagora Dojo.
00:59:42And if you value your life, you will...
00:59:46Come on, let's get him!
00:59:48Get him!
00:59:52Let us out of here, let us out of here!
00:59:54Haru, you are truly the great white ninja.
00:59:58Ha!
00:59:58Ha!
01:00:02Did I say ninja?
01:00:04I meant ninny.
01:00:06Haru, you are such a ninny.
01:00:45So what did you do with Walters?
01:00:47You may subject me to any torture you can think of,
01:00:51but a ninja does not talk.
01:00:53Ninja? You're a ninja?
01:00:57You're the big fat ninja everyone's talking about, aren't you?
01:01:00Great white ninja.
01:01:03Just received a call.
01:01:04Meeting with the kobuda size arranged.
01:01:06Good. Tie him up and throw him in the back of the van.
01:01:09Get rid of him later.
01:01:24You'll have to check your guns.
01:01:25The kobuda size checked theirs.
01:01:49Iruru.
01:01:50My doof.
01:01:52Are you all right?
01:01:54Yes, i am fine.
01:01:56Let me get this²
01:01:57period of harmony.
01:02:02It is in the spirit of harmony we'll be here today.
01:02:06It is important to our community an agreement be reached.
01:02:10It's not squirming. I've got to get these ropes. I'm done.
01:02:13The ninja way is to visualize the straightness of the rope.
01:02:16It will begin to untie itself.
01:02:20Or a knife. That's good.
01:02:23My suggestion is that you allow us to make your plates our plates.
01:02:28Honored Elder.
01:02:30You know I have great respect for you, Kumagai.
01:02:33But I rule in favor of Mr. Tunley.
01:02:37You won't get away with this.
01:02:39Yes, I will.
01:02:44I will capture these criminals and make them face the American justice system.
01:02:48Be careful.
01:02:49Bravo.
01:03:07Where's the ninja gone? I don't know.
01:03:10Never mind. Come on. Let's go.
01:03:12That's right. To the little Tokyo temple.
01:03:15Wait. Stop the van. Stop the van!
01:03:21Alice, what a coincidence meeting you here. Allow me to give you a lift.
01:03:25Haru!
01:03:26Haru!
01:03:28No!
01:03:29No, no!
01:03:30No, no, no!
01:03:33Al, help me!
01:03:33Al-ho, help me!
01:03:37Al-Hul!
01:03:38Al-hul!
01:03:40Al-hul!
01:03:41Al-hul!
01:03:41Al-hul!
01:03:42Al-hul!
01:03:42Al-hul!
01:03:43Al-hul!
01:03:44Al-hul!
01:03:45Al-hul!
01:03:46Al-hul!
01:03:48You!
01:03:49All-hul!
01:03:50Hands in the air!
01:03:51It's him!
01:03:52The white ninja!
01:03:53Do not shoot.
01:03:54I am on your side!
01:03:59Come on, let's shoot!
01:04:03Get him over here! Get him over here!
01:04:05I got him!
01:04:08Get out! Get out of here!
01:04:10I got him! I got him right here! Come on, help me out!
01:04:16Keep his head down!
01:04:39Get out of here!
01:04:56Allison wanna bite the one!
01:05:01He's an idiot! I cannot do this anymore!
01:05:04I have to escape from jail!
01:05:06I am coming home!
01:05:07Do not be rash, Kobe!
01:05:09Rash? He has made every mistake in the ninja book!
01:05:12He is coming!
01:05:14Hide behind those clouds!
01:05:17I hate this!
01:05:19God! Oh! Hey! Oh!
01:05:24Hello, Haru!
01:05:25Hello, Sensei!
01:05:28How are you, my son?
01:05:30I have tried, but I have failed!
01:05:33That is never true!
01:05:35I want so desperately to be a great ninja like Kobe, Haru!
01:05:40You must stop comparing yourself to Kobe!
01:05:43Why, Sensei?
01:05:44He is the best ninja ever!
01:05:47I hope that he knows that I love him!
01:05:50All I've ever wanted was his respect!
01:05:52My son, we would all be lucky to have a heart as big as yours!
01:05:57In fact, Kobe will not become a great ninja until he learns that lesson!
01:06:03I tried to stop this mission because I feared for you!
01:06:08But I was wrong!
01:06:10You must continue!
01:06:12I must?
01:06:13Yes!
01:06:14Go!
01:06:15Save Allison!
01:06:16Listen!
01:06:16It is your duty as a ninja!
01:06:19Sensei!
01:06:20You...
01:06:21You just called me a ninja!
01:06:22Yes!
01:06:23I guess I did!
01:06:26Go now!
01:06:27You just called me a ninja!
01:06:29No!
01:06:30Oh!
01:06:31I can't...
01:06:32Sorry!
01:06:33I can't do it!
01:06:33No!
01:06:36No!
01:06:37No!
01:06:38No!
01:06:39No!
01:06:40No!
01:06:41No!
01:06:47No!
01:06:48No!
01:06:51No!
01:07:16Patrice, my car, please.
01:07:18Joey, you are coming with me.
01:07:19All right.
01:07:24Who is stealing my shoes?
01:07:27There's no time to waste, Joey.
01:07:29I'm with you.
01:07:31Thanks, asshole.
01:07:32My pleasure, sir.
01:07:36Hey!
01:07:39What are we doing?
01:07:40Using my perfect ninja sense memory.
01:07:43I will recreate the trip to Tanley's warehouse.
01:07:46Huh?
01:07:47What?
01:07:47Drive, Joey.
01:07:49Oh, bet!
01:07:49Bet, I get to drive?
01:07:50All right, come on, come on.
01:07:51We're going like Morgan Freeman.
01:07:54Now turn right.
01:07:56Okay, okay, right now.
01:07:59Oh, there was a bump.
01:08:00This is good.
01:08:01This is good.
01:08:01There was a right after a bump.
01:08:03A right after the bump.
01:08:04Okay.
01:08:06Take off the blindfold!
01:08:08What's wrong with you?
01:08:10I know just where we are.
01:08:11Where are we?
01:08:12We are on the right track, Joey.
01:08:14We are on the track, all right.
01:08:16Yes.
01:08:19Yes.
01:08:21Uh-huh.
01:08:25I do not remember hearing thunder.
01:08:28Hold on!
01:08:30There's got to be a turn somewhere.
01:08:31There's got to be a turn!
01:08:32Turn right now!
01:08:33I'm turning!
01:08:38Ah, this is good.
01:08:39I hear water.
01:08:40Now turn right.
01:08:44Now left towards the water.
01:08:46Yes!
01:08:47I think we're too close to the water.
01:08:50I think we should go back!
01:08:52You let us astray!
01:08:53I didn't lead up nowhere!
01:08:55I cannot swim!
01:08:56Joey!
01:08:57Well, for...
01:08:57Oh, my God!
01:08:58What's happening?
01:08:59Something's touching my face!
01:09:01Joey, these sea creatures!
01:09:04Help me!
01:09:05Head towards the mainland!
01:09:07Mainland?
01:09:08Yes, the mainland!
01:09:10The sea is foamy!
01:09:12You have wandered way off course!
01:09:17The weather in America fucks where it's violently is.
01:09:21Maybe we should go for cover.
01:09:24Joey, what is that smell?
01:09:27Pina colada!
01:09:28I like it.
01:09:30You must listen to my directions, Joey.
01:09:32I'm gone, what you said!
01:09:33What you said last time was that.
01:09:35Why not?
01:09:35I will have to drive.
01:09:36I will...
01:09:37I'm gone, I'm...
01:09:38You must listen at all times.
01:09:39I'm sorry!
01:09:43We must try it again.
01:09:44At this time, Joey, you must follow my directions exactly.
01:09:49Okay, no problem, no problem.
01:09:50There, I am ready.
01:09:52Because everybody in my family like to drive.
01:09:53You may drive now.
01:09:56Joey, you may drive now.
01:10:03You should consider yourself very lucky, Alison.
01:10:05You've lived 24 hours longer than anyone else who's ever betrayed me.
01:10:08Which is why I brought you this present.
01:10:10A little bang.
01:10:11Oh, but don't worry.
01:10:12At that distance, you'll vaporize before you feel a thing.
01:10:14I wish I'd killed you months ago.
01:10:17The feeling's mutual.
01:10:18The difference is...
01:10:20I'm able to rectify my mistake.
01:10:27Somebody help me!
01:10:29Joey, do not let up.
01:10:31We are nowhere near our destination.
01:10:34Joey, take a left.
01:10:36Joey!
01:10:37Why are we stopping here?
01:10:39Joey?
01:10:40Joey!
01:10:41Joey!
01:10:41Joey!
01:10:43So, we have entered the serpent's lair.
01:10:47Joey?
01:10:49Joey?
01:10:49Joey, you are a fragile boy.
01:11:37Oh, you're a fragile boy.
01:11:42Oh, my God.
01:11:53I have a short sword.
01:12:23Whoa, whoa.
01:12:28Oh, yeah, you gon' have met ya, boy!
01:12:30Whoa.
01:12:32Whoa.
01:12:37Yeah!
01:12:38This is Dojo rising!
01:12:40Go for it, Gett!
01:12:41Oh, John!
01:12:42Yah!
01:12:44Yah!
01:12:45Yah!
01:12:46Yah!
01:12:47Yah!
01:12:48Yah!
01:12:50Oh, ah!
01:12:50Yah!
01:12:52Ah!
01:12:53Oh!
01:12:54Ow!
01:12:55Oh!
01:12:56Oh!
01:12:56Ah!
01:13:14I made it!
01:13:16Well, if it isn't the great white ninja, welcome back.
01:13:20Congratulations on making it this far, but I'm afraid this is where your legend ends.
01:13:27Only when I have ceased to breathe will I be dead, Tanley.
01:13:33Get rid of him.
01:13:37Hi-yah!
01:13:41Godkink!
01:13:42Yah!AH!
01:13:46Uh-uh!
01:13:48Yah! Yah!
01:13:50Yah!
01:13:53Yah!
01:13:55Yeah!
01:13:56Yah!
01:13:57Ya-yah!
01:14:00What,
01:14:01you Å¡edits? Fit
01:14:03ja-oa!
01:14:04Mmmmy!cra-oa.
01:14:04Jakeko-oa?
01:14:05It's up.
01:14:05What are you doing
01:14:05here? I come to
01:14:06help you, my
01:14:07brother.arfist! Happy
01:14:08-livet! Yo-ah!
01:14:09This has been my dream.
01:14:10Let us get some Yakuza ass.
01:14:40That's right.
01:14:41Up, up, up, up!
01:14:48I'm so sorry, Kofi.
01:14:54Howard, don't you think you should go save Allison?
01:14:57Yes, but can you manage without me?
01:14:59I will try.
01:15:09Yes!
01:15:13Somebody help me!
01:15:16Allison, is that you?
01:15:19Yes, Haru, help me!
01:15:21All right!
01:15:23Hurry!
01:15:24Please hurry!
01:15:29Stop!
01:15:31Haru!
01:15:36Allison, can you come any closer?
01:15:39I will untie you.
01:15:40There's no time!
01:15:41There's a bomb in here!
01:15:44Allison, have no fear.
01:15:45I will defuse the bomb.
01:15:53I can see now.
01:15:56It is simple.
01:15:57Are you sure you know what you're doing?
01:15:58Yes!
01:16:00I...
01:16:00There!
01:16:01I have done it!
01:16:02We're sorry.
01:16:03Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
01:16:05Please check the number and dial again.
01:16:15Oh, great.
01:16:17We've just lost five minutes.
01:16:19Oops.
01:16:21Oh!
01:16:22God!
01:16:23Ah!
01:16:23Ah!
01:16:25Brother!
01:16:28Allison!
01:16:29My dove!
01:16:30Hang on!
01:16:35Allison!
01:16:36How much time is left?
01:16:38Four minutes!
01:16:42Do not worry, Allison!
01:16:44I will return!
01:17:00I may not be the best ninja.
01:17:02I may not be one with the universe.
01:17:03But I will tell you this.
01:17:06No one messes with my brother!
01:17:08Join the nadir!
01:17:27Oh, Gary!
01:17:32Newzel-
01:17:33Howl??
01:17:40I'm so sorry.
01:17:50Are you all right, my brother?
01:17:53Yes, I am.
01:18:05Yeah!
01:18:14Nicely done, Joey.
01:18:45Ha-roo!
01:18:48Allison!
01:18:49Ha-roo! Hurry!
01:18:52Ha-roo!
01:18:55Allison!
01:19:02Ha-roo! Hurry!
01:19:04Martin Tanley!
01:19:13Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I'm over here!
01:19:18So now you are out of bullets.
01:19:22Haroon, look out!
01:19:26Hai-yah!
01:19:31Uh!
01:19:34Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:19:39Ahh!
01:19:42Yamel-eh!
01:19:45Oh, no...
01:19:45Ah!
01:20:11Do not worry, Allison.
01:20:14Haru, 40 seconds.
01:20:20Haru.
01:20:26Get out of here.
01:20:3030 seconds, Haru.
01:20:33Hang in there, my dad.
01:20:34In a few moments, you will be as free as a bird.
01:20:50Oh.
01:20:53Oh.
01:20:56Oh.
01:21:01Oh.
01:21:20Oh.
01:21:20Oh.
01:21:22Allison.
01:21:23Allison.
01:21:25Haru.
01:21:52Haru.
01:21:57Oh.
01:22:04Oh.
01:22:06Oh.
01:22:07The reports here are that a group of ninjas spoiled an attempted counterfeiting operation.
01:22:12I am live with one of those ninjas now.
01:22:14Now this may be an odd question, but I was under the impression that ninjas are Japanese and
01:22:19you seem to be black.
01:22:21Do not be fooled by the color of my skin.
01:22:23I mean, you're a television reporter.
01:22:25I'm sure you've heard the legend of the great black ninja.
01:22:28I haven't.
01:22:29Is that you?
01:22:30Some say it is so.
01:22:38You have done well, Haru.
01:22:40I'm proud.
01:22:42Whether I am or am not the great white ninja, sensei, you made me believe in myself.
01:22:47Though it will sadden me to see you leave, I'm happy for you.
01:22:53I realize that I will be of better use in a place where they do not have so many great
01:22:57ninjas.
01:22:58I will return with my dove Allison to the land of opportunity, Beverly Hills.
01:23:06Haru.
01:23:08Whether you are the chosen one or not, I would choose to fight alongside you any time.
01:23:15Here.
01:23:19Good luck, my brother.
01:23:23My arm.
01:23:24I'll do it.
01:23:29Allison and I must leave.
01:23:32Goodbye.
01:23:38It's amazing.
01:23:40I think he's really changed.
01:23:41Bye, sensei.
01:23:42Bye, Kobe.
01:23:48Haru!
01:23:50Sensei!
01:23:51Haru!
01:23:52Stop!
01:23:54Stop!
01:23:55Haru!
01:23:56Haru!
01:23:57Stop!
01:23:57Haru!
01:23:58Give me my medallion back!
01:24:01Haru!
01:24:02Haru!
01:24:03Haru!
01:24:04Haru!
01:24:04Haru, you!
01:24:05So big?
01:24:06So big!
01:24:09Yeah, yeah!
01:24:11Haru!
01:24:19I am sorry, big brother!
01:24:22Haru!
01:24:22Everybody was comfortable fighting.
01:24:25Haru!
01:24:26Haru!
01:24:26Those cats were fast as lightning.
01:24:29Haru!
01:24:30Haru!
01:24:30In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
01:24:33Haru!
01:24:39Haru!
01:24:39They were funky China men.
01:24:42From a funky Chinatown.
01:24:44They were chopping them up.
01:24:46They were chopping them down.
01:24:48It's an ancient Chinese art.
01:24:50Everybody played a part.
01:24:52From a faint into a slip.
01:24:55And I'm kicking from the hip.
01:24:57Everybody was kung fu fighting.
01:24:59Haru!
01:25:00Haru!
01:25:01Those cats were fast as lightning.
01:25:04Haru!
01:25:05Haru!
01:25:05In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
01:25:08Haru!
01:25:09Haru!
01:25:10But they fought with expert timing.
01:25:13Haru!
01:25:14There was funky Billy Chill.
01:25:16And a little Sammy John.
01:25:19They said, here come the big boys.
01:25:21Haru!
01:25:22Let's get it on.
01:25:23They took the ball and made a stand.
01:25:25They started swaying with a hand.
01:25:27A sudden motion making me skip.
01:25:29And now we're on a brand new trip.
01:25:31Everybody was kung fu fighting.
01:25:34Haru!
01:25:35Those cats were fast as lightning.
01:25:39Haru!
01:25:40In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
01:25:43Haru!
01:25:44But they fought with expert timing.
01:25:47Haru!
01:26:14In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
01:26:18But they fought with expert timing
01:26:23Everybody was kung fu fighting
01:26:27Those times were fast as lightning
01:26:32It was a little bit of a game
01:26:35But they fought with expert timing
01:26:39Expert timing
01:26:41Kung fu fighting
01:26:43Kung fu fighting
01:26:56Kung fu fighting
01:26:58Kung fu fighting
01:27:01Kung fu fighting
01:27:01Kung fu fighting
01:27:05They did it with expert timing
01:27:10Kung fu fighting
01:27:40WELCOME PEOPLE
01:28:13I know, I finally got it figured out.
01:28:19Got it all figured out.
01:28:22I know, I finally got it figured out.
01:28:27Got it all figured out.
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